Struggles – Page 13 – Growing 4 Life

Great is Thy Faithfulness

2 Comments / September 3, 2015 September 3, 2015

A few months ago, we celebrated my parents 50th wedding anniversary. I talked a bit about that in this post, sharing a few bits and pieces of their testimony of God’s faithfulness as they presented it on that day. But this celebration came to mind, once again, when we started Lamentations in our Bible Challenge this week (I am a few days behind, so perhaps it was last week for you). I always love to hear the stories of God’s faithfulness to His people, through all of the stressful moments, questions, and dark places.

And it becomes clear that we Christians don’t lead an easy life, but traverse through the same fallen, broken world as our unsaved counterparts. In fact, many times our lives may be harder because of the hatred that we experience from a world that can’t see the Truth.

We love to quote verses 22-23–

Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed,
Because His compassions fail not.
They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.

In fact, these are two of my favorite Bible verses. But I guess I never really thought about the context of these verses. The words of God’s faithfulness come after several verses of really hard things that God has allowed. Seriously, go read all of chapter three–even if you aren’t doing the Bible challenge. It’s full of unbelievable difficulty and pain. But then we get to those glorious verses of God’s promised faithfulness.

No, the Christian life isn’t easy, but we are never alone and God provides just the right amount of grace and peace we need to get through the difficult tunnels in which we all find ourselves sometimes. Some of us travel through more tunnels than others. And some are longer and pitch black. But we all have our tunnels of blackness through which we walk in this life.

I finished a book about a small country in Asia this week and it brought all of this so fresh to mind. It was the story of a new church with people who had never heard anything about the true God of the Universe who loved them enough to send His Son. It was the glorious testimony of the difference God’s Word makes in the lives of people, despite the weaknesses of the messengers. But the most noteworthy part of the story was that the people of this village that turned to Christ endured prison, persecution, and maltreatment with songs in their hearts. It was amazing. They counted it joy to be in prison for Christ and although they suffered illness and great trauma, God walked with them each and every step. (As a side note, I do not feel good about recommending this book because, although God’s powerful Word did what it always does, the missionary that brought God’s book to this village seemed to be a little mixed up in His faith, seemingly caught up in some philosophies of men and causing me to wonder if even really understood what the Bible says!)

But this story reminded me that no matter what is ahead of us, God will remain faithful. And, actually, Eric and I were just talking about that the other night as we drove home alone in the car. We can look back and see choices we have made or events that have happened that caused us great fear and trembling. What would become of us? Did we do the right thing? And, yet, through it all, God worked and changed and grew us and now we can look back and see God’s hand through it all.

Reading about God’s faithfulness, talking of God’s faithfulness with fellow Christians, and seeing it in our own lives firsthand are a big part of what makes us stronger as believers. It helps to take the pointlessness and frustration out of the hard times– giving us hope for coming through our present trials stronger and looking more like Jesus.

Verses 25 & 26 of Lamentations 3 aren’t quoted as often, but they, too provide such hope–

The Lord is good to those who wait for Him,
To the soul who seeks Him.
It is good that one should hope and wait quietly
For the salvation of the Lord.

God’s faithfulness is real. It is not a made-up fairy tale told by naive and stupid people who need a crutch of faith to get them through life. It’s real and amazing and incredible! Follow hard after God and study His Word and you, too, will experience it. And that is a promise I feel I can confidently make.

Ironing for Jesus

2 Comments / August 3, 2015 August 3, 2015

The other day, as we prepared for yet another wedding, I watched my brother and sister-in-law. They efficiently and diligently did every task asked of them without complaint or attitude. I have seen them do this before. Since they never complain and no job is too small or “beneath” them, they are wonderful to have around! While we have had so many helpful relatives and friends give us a hand these past few weeks, on this particular day there were just a few of us and I watched my brother and his wife closely. As they quietly worked, much got done and there was no drama. They willingly and gladly did anything necessary to help. By the end of the day, I was convicted.

On the way home that day, I asked the Lord to help me be more like them. I told him that I wanted to stop complaining when a task is boring or hard. Or when I’d rather be doing something else.

Little did I know that God would present me with a situation that would test my earnest prayer the very next day.

We had tablecloths to iron. Lots of tablecloths to iron. Somehow I ended up at an iron (probably because no one else wanted to do it!) But these weren’t just any tablecloths. These things were so difficult to iron. There was no feeling of accomplishment even when I’d spend 15 minutes on one tablecloth. I am convinced that many of the wrinkles in these rented cloths were permanently in place.

This made for a pretty discouraging task. For a variety of reasons–

It was hot.

It was boring.

And there was no possible way to do it well.

As I watched everyone having all the fun of decorating the venue, I stood at the ironing board, dutifully doing my “mom” thing but not with a very good attitude. I was bummed and started complaining inside my head. And then the complaints started spilling out of my mouth.

And that’s when the Holy Spirit challenged me.

Did you really mean what you prayed yesterday? Because this is a test.

No, I didn’t hear the words. But I was convicted.

I made a choice to stop complaining in that instant. What did it matter? Why not spare someone else from having to do this awful job and let others have the fun? The only reason I even cared was because I was thinking only of me. If this was my job, then I would do it cheerfully. I went to work and, instead of being resentful about missing out on all of the fun, I put on some uplifting music and chose to enjoy watching all of the activity.

Thankfully, God was so kind to me and provided my mom to help me with the ironing a little later on. But not before I learned a good lesson. Sometimes we don’t get to do the fun job or the job we think we should. Instead we are asked to do the job that we don’t want to do. The one that perhaps we think we are too good for. And that’s when our true character shows, isn’t it? That’s when we see who we really are inside. Because anyone can be pleasant and diligent when they are doing what they want to do.

Thankfully, the Lord hasn’t given up on me yet and so, while this could have ended up as one of my many spiritual failures, in this particular instance I made a choice, through the nudging of the Holy Spirit, to respond correctly and started ironing for Jesus.

One of my favorite verse came to mind while I did so–

Colossians 3:23-24 And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ.

Are you doing your mundane or hated tasks with a joyful heart and pleasant attitude? If not, I encourage you to, this day, think through your attitude. For it is here that Satan can so easily ensnare us. We Christians don’t always view our bad attitudes as sinful, but that doesn’t change the fact that they are sinful.

Let’s improve our characters by making the conscientious choice to smile in the boring tasks. To praise God through the difficult demands. And to be humble when asked to do something we think is beneath us. For in doing so, the light of our Lord and Savior will shine ever so brightly through us!

Picking Your Path

Leave a Comment / July 30, 2015 July 30, 2015

Weddings and funerals often make us think, don’t they? They tend to take our focus off of the temporal for a brief time and move our thoughts to the eternal. One thing I have really been thinking about with all of the weddings this past year is the fact that we all need to deliberately make a choice about what our lives are going to look like. When we grow up and leave home permanently we purposefully step towards the unknown and move away from the familiar.

If you are blessed with a wonderful family, leaving home can be hard. And yet you know that the bright future of your dreams isn’t possible without stepping out into the unknown and choosing the path, in this case, of marriage.

When we choose to get married, we are purposely choosing to leave our family homes (or our bachelor apartments) and live with someone else. Yes, there are risks and it is scary but we leave completely and start a new life.

If we would get married but still live in our childhood home, while our spouse lived elsewhere, it would raise many questions, wouldn’t it? Even when we, as adults, are forced to go back to our childhood homes for a brief period of time, we usually view it as a temporary setback. It is not viewed as our final destiny, but instead as a safe place to land during a difficult time.

As we wind up our reading of the kings of Israel in the Old Testament, I find myself thinking about the allegiance of these kings. If you have been keeping track –in your head or on paper– of which kings were evil and which were good, you will see that the majority were evil. No surprise there, as most men do choose the path of wickedness. You will also have noticed that some of the kings were sort of good, but chose not to serve God completely. And then you will notice that there are just a handful that served God whole-heartedly, removing the high places and re-establishing the temple practices.

When we look over all that was written about these kings, in particular, we can see that their works and success were directly correlated to their allegiance. If they served God, they were blessed. If they didn’t, they weren’t.

So back to my example of leaving home…

When we choose to get married, we must leave home. We can’t choose both paths. We cannot stay on our old path and get on the new path. It is physically impossible.

Why then, do we think we can choose the path of Christ, and yet stay on the path of the world?

This has been such a puzzle for me–these Christians that try to put one foot on the path towards Christ, while leaving most of their bodies on the path to destruction. The problem with this is that these paths are diametrically opposed and move further and further apart. Eventually, you can’t do the split that this requires and you have to pick a side.

If you are a believer, have you turned your back on the world? Have you denied yourself and decided to follow Jesus whole-heartedly?

We can see the destruction that occurred with the kings when they tried to live a life of compromise. And living a life of compromise at home would cause great problems, as well. Can you imagine your spouse telling you that they are headed to their parents each week for a sleep-over? Of course not. When we leave our homes to get married, we leave. To not do so is not normal.

So, why then, do we think we can live a life of compromise as believers? It goes against all that is not only written in the Bible but even against all that is logical. And yet many men of intellect inform us that we can– and some even tell us that we should–live a life of worldliness. They tell us we can be on both paths at the same time. That worldliness and holiness are not mutually exclusive.

But who are you going to listen to? Men who pretend to know what they are talking about or the Bible, which is very clear on this subject?

I can certainly understand the temptation to listen to the voice that is telling us what we want to hear. It is what so often gets us into trouble. One of the best things we can do is to hear the hard stuff from the Bible and then act on it in obedience.

I have absolutely no idea, as you read this, if you claim to be a believer. I do not know if you are straddling the fence right now or not. I have no way of knowing if you have pledged your allegiance to Christ but are living a life of great compromise, living for yourself instead of for the One who died for you.

What I do know is that to compromise is easy. To not compromise is hard. The only way to avoid it is to be consistently and purposefully living each day to serve God. This is why we are told to examine our lives regularly–

Examine yourselves as to whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Do you not know yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you are disqualified. 2 Corinthians 13:5

Now for the really good news!

Sometimes, when we first trust Christ, we look back on our old lives with real longing. We think we are missing out on all of the fun and we long for the world. But this doesn’t last! The truth of the matter is that as we move towards holiness, we became much less enamored with the world. Just keep putting one step in front of the other towards the light and soon you won’t even miss the world.

Finding Normal

2 Comments / July 27, 2015 July 28, 2015

It’s Monday morning and I find myself surrounded by wedding stuff that was thrown in boxes and stuffed in baskets after the big event, waiting to be sorted and organized. The last couple of years have flown by as we were always preparing for the next big event. Three weddings in thirteen months. And now all of them are over. Our three oldest kids have kissed us good-bye and traveled into their futures, holding the hands of the ones that we have prayed for since they were children. We are so thankful for each of the young people joining our family and feel so blessed.

But with these wonderful additions to our family comes change. Lots of change.

Ever since my oldest daughter got engaged, I knew that my upcoming couple of years were going to be a real roller coaster ride of change. I was watching my oldest kids and realized that there was likely more than just one wedding in the near future and started pondering the months ahead. Over the course of the following year and a half, we had our oldest daughter get married, our son get married, and then this past Saturday, we had the wedding of our middle daughter. We had a gorgeous day, with just a slight breeze keeping us all comfortable on a hot July day and her chosen theme of sunflowers seemed to fit perfectly with the beautiful rural setting. Our family and friends have been so gracious to come to so many weddings, two of them being only six weeks apart. We are so grateful for their presence at these precious celebrations and appreciate their efforts to be there.

As I lived through the past couple of years, I had an urgency to prepare for the future, knowing that going from having four kids living in my house to only one would be a big change. But the weddings and all that goes with them were almost all-consuming. Along with the weddings came quite a few other dynamics that we could have never foreseen. They all worked together to make for a very challenging time for my husband and me. It’s certainly been stretching us and growing us, that’s for sure. And that means little effort has been given to preparing for our new normal. And, honestly, how do you emotionally prepare for a drastically reduced “nest”, anyway?

I know that this empty nest thing doesn’t affect most of you. But this is a good lesson for all of us, no matter what stage we are in. I think we want to– we try to-– find our normal. There is something so comfortable about routine and the familiar. But sometimes we are simply in limbo and it’s just not possible. Sometimes there is no normal to find because life just keeps changing and throwing us curve balls. We have to learn to flex and bend and yield our will to God’s.

For me, it has been the steady stream of kids leaving our home that is teaching me to yield my will to God’s. It is teaching me about myself. And it’s teaching me about God. But for you it may be chronic health issues or a shaky job situation. We are all in limbo at one time or another and any normal we ever find ourselves in is always tentative at best.

With this being the case, it is probably best to hold on very lightly to our “normals”. No one is more surprised than me at just how tightly I was clinging to my normal. I never had any idea that my purpose, my worth, and my very soul were so wrapped up in my kids. I thought I was a good Christian mom who loved her kids and tried to raise them to honor the Lord. I never realized just how much I relied on my role as Mom. Thankfully, I still have my youngest daughter at home, helping to make this transition a little easier, but it has certainly been a real eye-opener for me and has forced me turn to God for comfort and guidance. (His faithfulness through this time has been incredible. I will write about that some time soon).

Perhaps this is one of the main reasons are we are shaken out of our “normals”. Because when we are comfortably ensconced in normal we often don’t rely on God. It takes a good shake out of our comfort zones to remind us where our true worth and purpose lies. It also reminds us of just how weak we are and how desperately in need of a Savior.

And so I wait patiently for my new normal. I have no idea what that will look like. I do know it will be so much quieter and peaceful. It will be cleaner and neater. But those things aren’t as good as they are cracked up to be. (Are you listening to me, you moms who are surrounded by little ones?)

I do hope that in my new normal I grow closer to God, finally having the time to dig into the Word more. I look forward to getting to know my youngest daughter in a deeper way, now that she is stuck with just Mom and Dad at home. I hope that I can minister to and bless others, as my parenting and housewife duties have decreased substantially. And I guess I am most looking forward to loving the grandchildren that will hopefully join our family in the future.

But I know one thing– I don’t want to get stuck in status quo, growing lazy and satisfied with the unimportant and trivial. I want to use this time for God’s glory! Any normal we find should always have this first and foremost in mind.

And as life naturally brings the changes of new babies, graduations, marriages, adoptions, illnesses, financial difficulties, job pressures, relationship troubles, and death, our normals are constantly changing. And, yes, it can be very painful. But if we are humble and teachable, it will never be worthless. For after it is all over, we can see how God used it to grow us and change us and make us more like Jesus.

If You Believe

6 Comments / July 23, 2015 July 23, 2015

Disclaimer: I feel rather hypocritical even posting this. I try to share God’s Truth here at Growing 4 Life, but sometimes struggle greatly to live it. This time of my life, as my nest empties, has been a great challenge for me. I never realized that such great joy and such deep grief could reside side by side within my heart. But there it is. Feelings in complete opposition warring for my attention at almost all times. I tell you this to let you know that I am no spiritual giant. I am weak and pathetic and desperately in need of a Savior. I hope this post encourages any of you who are struggling to continue walking through your dark place.

Sometimes we can get so discouraged. By the world. By our circumstances. By life.

I am not sure who is still reading through the Bible with me, but even if you have stopped or never started, please stick with me. This post is for everyone.

I know you are familiar with the well-known Biblical accounts–

~God creates the world (Genesis 1-3)

~God destroys the world and saves Noah, his family, and the animals in an ark (Genesis 5-9)

~God calls Moses to leadership and miraculously saves His people and then takes supernatural care of them in the wilderness (Exodus).

~God destroys the walls of Jericho (Joshua 6), uses a boy and a stone that impossibly hits Goliath’s impenetrable armor in just the right place to knock him down (I Samuel 17), and, later, in the Syrian camp creates the frightening sounds of horses and chariots coming, causing the great army to flee (2 Samuel 7).

~God decides to keep Elijah from the experience of death and takes him up in a chariot of fire (2 Kings 2).

~God keeps Jonah safe and sound in a big fish for three days and nights (Jonah 1-2).

~And we didn’t get this far yet in our reading, but we all know the courageous tales of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego in the fiery furnace (Daniel 3) and Daniel in the Lions’ Den (Daniel 6).

Do we really believe these things happened?

And if we say yes, then do we honestly think any problem we may face is a challenge for God?

We serve such an awesome and mighty God. When we see his power and grace at work, we can’t help but realize that our problems are small compared to such circumstances.

God is sovereign. His way is best. As we study the scripture and grow to know God in a deeper and fuller way, it will grow easier to trust Him. Whether he chooses to refine us or comfort us, to stretch us or to give us a break, to rain on us or to shine down on us, we can take it all from His hand when we start to comprehend just how much He loves us. Life starts to make more sense when we really get to know our heavenly Father and understand His purposes.

Life is hard. There is no doubt about it. And some of you are going through really tough times right now. Today. Please don’t neglect your Bible reading during this time. This is how God has chosen to convey His great love for us. It’s what He uses to convict and challenge and change us. When we turn away from His Word during times of great challenge, we are ignoring the single most important tool that He has provided for our benefit and comfort.

I hope that you believe that God’s Word is literal, inerrant, and inspired (If you don’t, then I challenge you to really do some studying instead of just saying you don’t believe). And if you do, then keep reading and studying the Word of God. For from its pages, we receive our best hope and our greatest comfort. Scripture provides conviction, refinement, and, most importantly, Truth about the God of the universe and His plan for salvation.

Diamonds and Axeheads

Leave a Comment / July 2, 2015 July 2, 2015

Several years ago, I lost a necklace. Not the big, chunky kind made out of brightly-colored beads. This was a delicate chain with a small diamond charm. The special kind your husband gives you to celebrate a special milestone or anniversary.

I had taken it off at the end of a long day and placed it on the end table. When I thought of it the next day, it had completely vanished. I searched everywhere. I couldn’t find it.

We came to the conclusion that it had probably fallen in the small trash can next to the table. I sadly realized that it was lost forever. We have a big dumpster which holds all of the trash that our sizable company discards. The bag holding this necklace was in that dumpster. The chances of finding a tiny little gold chain inside a large trash bag in an even larger dumpster were slim to none. We didn’t even know which trash bag was the right one.

My husband decided to look, anyway. That’s just the kind of guy he is. I sent up a little prayer letting the Lord know that I would greatly appreciate finding this special necklace.

Within just a few minutes, Eric came inside the house holding the chain in his hand. Unbelievable. Why would God care about such a thing?

A few years later, I lost my anniversary band. It was a little big and when the weather grew cold and my fingers shrunk even further, the band must have slipped off. How well I remember that Monday at lunchtime. I looked down at my hand and realized it was gone. We searched everywhere for it. But my heart sank, knowing full well that it was unlikely that we would find it.

For several weeks, I prayed that it would somehow miraculously turn up. This ring meant even more than the necklace, as it was bought to celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary. It was very special and also rather expensive. I was heartbroken.

It never turned up.

But when my birthday came around a few months later, my husband presented me with a small wrapped box. When I opened it, I found the exact same ring that he had purchased over a year earlier. He had bought me this because he knew just how disappointed and upset I was about the loss of that ring. And you know what? This ring means almost more than the first one. It symbolizes unconditional love even through my failures and stupid moments. It shows me commitment and willingness to go above and beyond. He could have been furious and never bought me another piece of jewelry again. Instead he bought me a replacement for the ring I had lost.

So why am I telling you this?

These events came to mind as I read the account of the floating axehead in 2 Kings 6. Elisha’s servants decide to build a new dwelling. At least one of them is so poor that he needs to borrow an axe to fell the trees. While they are working by the Jordan, his iron axehead falls into the Jordan. He is in much despair over this, because it is not his and he does not have the money to replace it. Elisha asks him where it has fallen, throws a stick in the water, which causes the iron axehead to float, and the servant picks it out of the water.

This whole story takes place in only six verses. It’s only a minute portion of the Bible, but there is much to learn here. This man’s life was not in danger. His home, his wife, his children, his education are not mentioned. We know nothing about him.

What we do know is that iron was very expensive in those days and this lost axehead would cause him financial difficulty.

What we do know is that God cared enough about this man and his seemingly trivial problem to provide a miracle on this man’s behalf.

Now, I’m sure this didn’t happen every day and there were probably some axeheads that sat on the floor of the Jordan at the great displeasure and inconvenience of their owners and borrowers. God did not make every axehead float.

But in this instance, God decided to intervene.

This incident shows us that, just like my diamond necklace, God cares enough to help in the little things. Sometimes He chooses to show Himself in an amazing way.

But sometimes, as in the case of my ring, He instead has a lesson to teach us or something to show us by not interceding. And that’s okay, too.

No matter how God chooses to answer us, He knows best. We can count on Him to take care of us all the way. He will give us the strength and grace that we need–and even occasional little miracles–as we go.

And we come once more to the necessity to rest wholly in God’s Sovereignty. I am convinced that this one thing is what will bring us joy and peace as we travel through life. God cares about us. He cares about even the smallest thing. We know that He is in control, no matter what comes our way. What a comforting thought!

The Thing Anger Never Accomplishes

6 Comments / June 18, 2015 June 18, 2015

Anger is just one of those things we justify, isn’t it? We can come up with so many different reasons why we should be “allowed” to be angry. Such as–

Someone said something unkind

Our spouse didn’t meet our expectations

Someone isn’t giving us something we want

Our co-worker isn’t carrying their load

Our kids are too noisy or too defiant or too annoying

The line is soooooo long

We are cut off on the highway

Our phone quit working

We spilled coffee on our laptop

The dog chewed a hole in the carpet

There are over a million reasons that we Christians will use to rationalize our angry outbursts or our seething, simmering, cold silences.

As in —pretend they aren’t sinful. Pretend they aren’t our fault. Pretend that we aren’t to blame for our anger. We convince ourselves that it is someone else’s fault. It is certainly not ours.

When we do this, we do feel better, don’t we? At least on the surface. This requires no repentance. No work on our part to change. No guilt.

The past few weeks we have been reading in Proverbs in our Bible Challenge. There is so much wisdom in this book of the Bible that I have found myself liberally highlighting many of the verses there. But the verses on anger may have been especially appropriate for me with this read-through. Let me tell you why–

Recently, I have fallen prey to this dangerous anger game. I would be irritated or frustrated and instead of taking responsibility, found it easier just to blame it on someone else. Even as I write, I find myself a little reluctant to take full responsibility for my anger. After all, she did this…or he said that…

And then my Sunday School teacher said something the other week that stopped me in my tracks. (Thank you, Morris!)–

Your anger will never accomplish anything for God’s righteous purposes.

I felt like he was speaking directly to me (and–if I’m honest– maybe to my husband, too!) We have had an interesting last few months. Interesting seems a good word, since I don’t want to complain. Most of what is happening is really good–some of what is happening is not so good, but, through it all, we are very aware that we are so blessed. But what all of these changes have led to is a whole lot of stress and intensity of feelings that is a bit outside our norm as a family.

My teacher’s words struck a chord deep within as I realized that I had been trying to use anger (it’s cold, punishing silence and the occasional unkind outbursts) to try to make things the way I want them to be. Or to fix something. Or to make someone feel guilty. Or to change someone’s mind.

There are many reasons to be angry and to act on that anger– but none of them are for God’s glory.

Anger can be a very effective tool. But there is always a way that we could do it better and more effectively. Anger is never the best way. Sure, we may be able to make our kids obey us by screaming at them, but if we train them to only respond when our voice reaches a certain pitch, then they will continue in that same pattern with their own kids. How much wiser to keep our voices low and demand obedience immediately, with consistent consequences to follow.

And let me make something very clear– I am not saying that we did this right. I am here saying we didn’t do this right. Anger has always been a struggle for us in our family. We can see the fruits of it in our kids’ lives and we are sending them off into the world to fight their own battles with this sin. We could have done such a better job in this area. Oh, we never threw plates or shouted obscenities, but we did let many angry words fly over the years and for that I have great regret.

Especially when I think of it in light of the words of my teacher.

I remember someone talking about angry words years ago and comparing them to toothpaste– once they are squeezed out of the tube, you cannot put them back in. Our kids don’t forget the mean, hateful things we say in the heat of an argument or temper tantrum. Neither do our spouses and other family members. Self-control–that fruit of the Spirit listed in Galatians 5:22-23–is very much in need when it comes to this sin of anger. For even if we are angry, we need to think first and confess before we act on it.

If we are human, we will have to admit that anger is as natural a feeling as being happy or sad. We humans, without exception, hate our plans being thwarted. Sure, some of us get worked up much more easily than others, but we all have our limit. We all have our threshold of when enough is enough. How that looks is different for all of us. Some of us are screamers. Some of us grow icy cold and quiet. Anger is a sin in both cases, although screamers tend to have more pieces to pick up after it’s all over. Some withhold conversation or physical touch in order to punish, others may yell and curse– or even occasionally throw something –but both reactions are sinful reactions.

There are a few sins that have become extremely accepted by the church — to the point that we rarely even discuss them anymore. I believe anger is one of them.

I have no idea today if you have fought this battle, are fighting this battle, or aren’t even convicted about this. You know where I’m at. I need prayer. These next few months promise to be so happy and exciting, but also stressful and demanding and, yes, even a little sad. I want to rise to the occasion and be a good testimony– I don’t want to flounder in my own wants and desires, demanding my own way. I want to remember that anger never accomplishes God’s righteous purposes!

I hope that you feel the same way. Here are some verses to get us started on our way to battling this sin.

Proverbs 16:32
Ephesians 4:26
Ephesians 4:31
Ephesians 6:4
Colossians 3:8
I Timothy 2:8
James 1:19
Galatians 5:16-26
Matthew 5:22

Getting a Glimpse

Leave a Comment / June 8, 2015 June 8, 2015

Let me first share this: From the time I was a young girl I never really wanted anything more than to be a mom. While my friends looked forward to going to college and having fascinating careers, I was simply biding my time until I’d {hopefully} get to fulfill my dream of being a wife and mom. The Lord did bring a wonderful guy into my life while I was at college. It wasn’t until the summer before my senior year that he would ask me to marry him. A couple of years after we were married we found out that we were having a baby. And that was the beginning of my “mom” dream.

But no one ever tells you what you will feel like when the final curtain is getting ready to close on your dream. When all the work and tears and joys and fears that involve raising kids is just about coming to a close. And, yes, I know that I will always be a mom. But what being a mom looks like to adult kids is a very different thing. It is a new role for a new stage.

Which leads me to an incident in my past that I haven’t talked much about.

When I was pregnant with my fourth child, I felt unusually ill. This was uncharacteristic for me in pregnancy but I never suspected that this meant anything was wrong. I excitedly told everyone I was pregnant very early on. After all, I had had three healthy pregnancies. I surely wouldn’t have a miscarriage now, right?

Wrong.

Around week ten, I vividly remember going to the bathroom one Sunday afternoon and spotting a dot of blood. Of course, I had heard that it is quite normal for some women to bleed a bit in the early stages of pregnancy and so I tried to comfort myself with that thought, but somewhere deep inside, I knew that it was over. I had never bled in any of my pregnancies and I just knew that this was a bad sign.

The next morning I called my doctor and they had me come in right away. When they ran the necessary tests, the doctor came into the room and told me that I had what they called a “blighted ovum”. It was a fertilized egg that had just stopped developing and no one really knows why.

I was crushed. While it was comforting to know that we have a 5th child who is in heaven right now, since we believe that life begins at conception, I would never get to meet this child on earth. I mourned the dreams and the plans that died that day. But, if I am honest, I was also disappointed that my life hadn’t gone according to my plans. I had planned to have no more than 2 1/2 years between any of my children. Now that was completely ruined.

To top it off, it took me awhile to get pregnant again. I grew a little more frustrated with each month that passed by. I hadn’t wanted this fourth one to be so far behind the other three.

But here’s what I didn’t know at the time–

I did not know that my three oldest children would get married in the span of thirteen months.

I did not know that my house would grow eerily quiet in the evenings.

I did not know that there would only be one or two at the dinner table most nights.

I did not realize the storm of emotions that would surround all that’s going on in my life right now.

And so yesterday when my youngest was sharing how hard it is to be the one left out of all of the wedding and honeymoon talk going on in our family, I had to just stop and think for a moment. I looked at her and I almost started crying. How kind of God to give me a daughter for an extra couple of years in this time of emotional upheaval in my life. Because He knew what I would be feeling. He knew that I needed her to be a few years behind the others. He knew.

And in that instant, I caught just a glimpse of how God’s ways are higher and wiser than mine. It reminded me of Isaiah 55:9–

“For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts.

God’s ways are surely higher than mine. And, many times, we never truly understand how it all fits together. We don’t understand why He has allowed the painful events in our lives and many of our “whys” are never answered.

But–every now and again–when we review the landscape of our lives, we can catch a glimpse of the tapestry. And we stand in awe at the wisdom and mercy of our heavenly Father.

I am so thankful for my four children. I am thankful for the Christian spouses He has provided for them. I am so excited for them to begin their new lives together! But I am also thankful for my sweet baby. I am thankful that she will be around for a few more years than I planned. Most of all, I am thankful that I serve a God Whose ways are higher than my ways.

Sex is Not a Four-Letter Word

2 Comments / June 4, 2015 June 4, 2015

Disclaimer: This post is really for my fellow Christian women. Men will probably not get this post, although it may help them to understand their wives a bit if they take the time to read it.

Sex Trafficking/Slavery.

Transgender/Trans-sexual.

Sexual Abuse and Molestation.

Pornography.

Affairs.

Prostitution.

The Gay Agenda.

If we have been saved by the blood of Christ, we view the above words as sinful or evil. Some of the words are viewed as evil even by the world. This is because God’s Word (and our consciences) inform us that all of the above are sexual behaviors that lie outside of God’s perfect will for sexuality. All are warped and broken ways that man has tainted sexuality. It would appear that Satan has given some of his greatest effort to destroying sex as God designed it.

So it’s Thursday, the day that I generally write about what we are currently reading in our Bible Challenge. I almost chickened out and was seriously considering ignoring the Song of Solomon completely. It was very tempting. I don’t even really “get” that book (comparing love to clusters of henna blossoms and teeth to recently shorn sheep isn’t my style!) But there it was–this book that talks about verdant beds and breasts like towers. In the Bible. Our guide book for life has a whole book about the pure and holy beauty of physical intimacy between a husband and a wife.

Many of us are very uncomfortable even mentioning the word “sex”. Satan has corrupted and perverted it almost beyond recognition. Because of this, it has destroyed countless lives and families. If we grew up in a Christian home, this word may have been ignored completely. Many families just pretend that it doesn’t exist at all. And, even worse yet, I have heard of some women who were told by their mothers or other older women that sex is just a duty and nothing more, something to be endured.

Sex is a little tricky for Christians, isn’t it? It’s one of the only things I know of that is a sin in one set of circumstances (sex between two unmarried people ) and beautiful and glorious in a different set of circumstances (sex between two married people).

While I don’t really understand every verse of Song of Solomon, I do take away from reading this book that God considers sex between two married people to be something pure and holy and wonderful.

As women, in particular, I think we have to be careful not to mix the feelings we have about our pasts (sexual sin or abuse) with our married sex life now. This can be difficult and there is no easy way to heal from something like this. But women can heal from this. I have heard the testimonies of several women who have struggled through the guilt of their pasts. There is hope!

I also believe that we have to be so careful not to let the debauchery of prime-time TV or the perverted remarks and jokes we hear in a steady stream all around us to taint our view of sex the way God created it to be. We have become a weirdly over-sexed nation– as if that is the only thing that matters in a relationship. And most of us are either laughing and going along with the world’s perversions of sex or we are putting our heads into the sand and pretending it’s not happening.

Some of you may be reading this and thinking: What is she talking about? My view of sex is perfectly healthy.

If that’s the case, I am so happy for you.

But I believe that it’s very likely that there are many, many Christian women who have been broken or taught lies about this word and they view sex as something to be endured or even avoided.

I am certainly no sex therapist but I can tell you one thing with absolute certainty: We will never be able to fully enjoy sex with our spouse until our view of sex is a biblical one.

Sex is not a dirty word. Instead, it is something that has been destroyed and broken almost irreparably by Satan and the world. It’s time for Christians to declare the truth about sex. We need to stop being so embarrassed about something that God created as a special gift for husbands and wives. The shame only comes when we step outside God’s design. There is no shame to be found in sex between a man and his wife. Yes, it should be a private thing, but it’s not shameful.

So that’s what I learned this week! I have a feeling next week’s post may seem a little boring compared to this one– if there even is a Thursday post next week since our son’s wedding is next Saturday! Wow, that came fast!

Have a great day. Hope I didn’t make you blush. :)

The Many Faces of Pride

10 Comments / May 21, 2015 May 1, 2018

I’ve had a really rough week. You don’t need details, but suffice it to say that I came face to face with my loathsome, prideful self yet once again.

Does that ever happen to you? Or am I the only one? You think you are doing pretty well in this Christianity thing and then something happens that you didn’t see coming or someone doesn’t meet your expectations and you react. And that’s when you realize that you still have so far to go. While it can be really painful, I am so thankful for these times, for they remind me of why I need a Savior so incredibly much and they help me to grow more like Christ.

Pride is an insidious, deadly sin. It gobbles up our peace and joy so quickly. It destroys most everything in its wake. Or, at the very least, keeps any relationship from being the best it could be.

Humility is the opposite of pride. Christ was humble, even to death on a cross, and humility is what He requires of us. First and foremost, humility is necessary for us to understand our need for a Savior. But, after our initial conversion, it is also so key in staying in a right relationship with God. It is absolutely critical for healthy family relationships. Humility helps us to be a better co-worker, a better child, a better spouse, a better parent. We are happier when we are humble. We bless others when we are humble. We experience much greater peace when we are humble.

When we think of pride, we often think of the kind that David exhibited in I Chronicles 21 (and 2 Samuel 24). David took a census. This was apparently an act of pride that cost him (and the whole nation of Israel) dearly. We can’t know for sure, but according to my Bible study notes, David’s act of taking this census could have angered God for a number of reasons. Perhaps because David was trying to gratify his pride in the great strength of his army and military power. Or he was putting more trust in his forces than in his God. Maybe this was showing that he was taking credit for the many victories of Israel. Whatever his reason, we know that God was angry, as we read in the passage.

And our pride often looks like David’s in our own day-to-day living. We take credit for something; we want the glory; we draw attention to our accomplishments and awards and accolades.

But let’s just say that we don’t really struggle with this type of thing. Maybe we hate attention and would never boast about ourselves. We would never count our successes and victories and put them out there for all the world to see. Is there still the possibility that pride could still be an issue for us, if boasting and taking censuses isn’t our style?

Of course, the answer to this is a resounding YES.

So what are some ways that pride hides out in the dark corners of our minds and hearts? I have been really thinking about this topic of humility this week. Knowing that in order for my relationships to work right, I need to be humble. In searching some of my favorite authors on this topic, I came across a $2.99 Kindle book called Sermons on Humility by Charles Spurgeon. I have not finished it, but in the first few pages he shares several different ways pride exhibits itself in even the most “humble” of us. I will follow each one with a few practical, modern-day examples —

There is the pride of the heretic, who will utter false doctrines, because he thinks his own judgment to be better than the word of God, never content to sit like a child to believe what he is told, he is a disputant but not a disciple. He will insist upon it that his own reason is to be the well-spring of his own beliefs, and he will receive nothing beyond his own reach.

This is immediately what I think of when I think of the Christians who claim that homosexuality isn’t a sin, that unity is more important than truth, or that the world evolved. They have the pride of the heretic–relying on their own intellect or on the intellect of other men instead of on the Word of God. The other person that comes to mind is the one who says there are many ways to heaven or that there is no hell. They, too, are holding their own thinking in higher merit than the Word of God.

There is next the pride of the Papist, who attaches merit to his own works, and hopes to will heaven as the reward of his own doings.

While they may not brag or boast about this, many think they are good people, quietly assuming that their good deeds outweigh their bad ones and this will be what gets them into heaven. Even many, many Christians (or shall I say people who identify with the religion of Christianity) believe they are going to heaven based on their own merit. This is pride. This is the kind that keeps our eyes blinded to our need for a Savior.

Next there is the pride of the curious. The man who is not content with simplicities, but must pry into mysteries. He would if he could climb to the Eternal Throne, and read between those folded leaves and break the seven seals of the mysterious book of destiny. You know well our apostle has many things in his writings which are hard to be understood, yet he uttered them because of the Spirit, and you never meet with any attempt in the apostle’s writing as you do in the preaching of some ministers, as you do in the conversation of some professors, to reconcile predestination with free will. He was quite content to preach to men as free agents, and exhort them to repent, quite willing to speak of God as working in us to will and do of his good pleasure, while we also work out our own salvation with fear and trembling. Paul was never curious to find out where the lines of truth met, he was perfectly content to take his doctrine from his Master’s spirit, and leave the old wives fables and endless genealogies and disputings, and questionings, to those who had no better guests to entertain.

I included this whole section here because it goes so very well with my post from Monday. I agree with Spurgeon whole-heartedly– it is prideful to think we have to understand the things we can’t understand. Yes, the ungodly will call you stupid and unintellectual when you take this approach (mostly because of their own personal pride). They don’t know God the way we do if we are saved. They don’t understand that submitting to His sovereignty is an incredible blessing. That some questions can go unanswered because the ones that really matter have already been answered. They can’t get it. Their eyes can’t see.

Again, there is the pride of the persecutor; the man who is not content with his own notions, but would hunt to death another, the pride which suggests that I am infallible, and that if any man should differ from me, the stake and the rack would be the due deserts of so great a sin, against so great a person as myself.

We may not want to see someone physically harmed when they don’t agree with us, but how many broken families and split churches fall under this type of pride? Millions? Trillions? This is perhaps the most tempting one for “godly Christians”. We think we are right. We believe that our opinion is best. We believe we are infallible. But if it’s not within the pages of scripture, is it actually something worth a broken relationship?

Is any special piece of furniture or bank account worth the fracturing of a family upon a parent’s death?

Is any decision of our adult children worth the tense and strained relationship that comes when we keep insisting they are doing the wrong thing or making the wrong choice?

Is any opinion of mine worth holding on to if it’s causing stress and constant argument in my marriage?

Is my hurt pride over what I heard that someone said about me worth a broken friendship?

NO, a thousand times NO. The answer to all of these questions is NO.

And so, so many of us fall prey to this deadly sin, leaving a trail of broken hearts and strained relationships. I don’t want to do this. I want my marriage more than I want to be right. I want a right relationship with my kids more than I want to be right. I want to be a good testimony more than I want to be right.

Keep in mind I am not talking about biblical truth here. Of course, we have to stand strong and fight for the truth held within the pages of scripture. I might add here that even these biblical debates can and should only be done with great gentleness and kindness. But most of us are not arguing over biblical doctrine (a few more of us should be! We seem to not find that important, while inane, silly things get us so riled up!), instead, we are debating and arguing over issues which have no biblical mandate. No right or wrong. I am talking about the silly, stupid stuff we won’t bend on. The stuff that isn’t worth it.

Life is hard. Relationships take work. And no relationship works well without at least one party practicing humility. Joy and peace elude us without humility. Unanswerable questions haunt us without it.

And so we start with us. Today. The only place we can start. And we take our desire to be right, our yearning for glory, and our prideful thoughts about how good we are and hand them all to the Lord, asking Him to humble us and to become more like Him.

Often crying and screaming inside our heads as we endure the emotional pain of the process.

Spurgeon, Charles (2014-09-28). Twelve Sermons on Humility; Titus Books. Kindle Edition.