growing in christ – Growing 4 Life

The Weight of Our Words

Leave a Comment / June 10, 2026 June 10, 2026

There are those who would say we should never speak (or write) negatively about someone. That this is the essence of gossip.

But we know that cannot be true because of 3 John, where John writes in his letter to Gaius about a man by the name of Diotrephenes. John does not mince words: This man likes pre-eminence among his church family; he speaks with malicious words; he is a bad influence on others, seeking to lead them in a wrong direction.

The Holy Spirit would never direct John to gossip, so we know what he has written here cannot be defined as gossip. Clearly, there is a time and a place to speak negatively about others.

John was simply stating a fact and issuing a warning about this dangerous man. This is not sinful. In fact, we see this happening in scripture more than just here. Both Jesus and Paul speak hard, unpleasant truths about others (Matthew 23; 2 Timothy 4).

So if speaking negative words is not sinful, in and of itself, what makes gossip…gossip?

It is clearly the motivation behind the words.

The sin of gossip stems from a malicious heart or a nosey mind that relishes in hearing juicy tidbits about others. The gossiper wants to be “in the know” and they love nothing more than hearing updates about people—particularly negative updates—that they can then pass along to others.

So how did we end up believing that all negative words about others equal gossip? Well, let me give you the answer in a nutshell.

In 1952, a false teacher by the name of Norman Vincent Peale wrote a book called “The Power of Positive Thinking”. With this book, he planted the seed of this belief: “Positive words are good. Negative words are bad.” This philosophy was warmly received by many and the seed of this heretical teaching grew and grew, until it has tentacles in almost every church.

Never speak negative words. Only speak positive words.

Even solid churches, where they revere the Word of God, seem to think it is sinful to speak negative words—even if it is for their very important calling to warn and protect their flocks.

This is when we must stop and think. Are we following the Bible or are we following a manmade philosophy?

As believers, we get our guide for life from God’s Word. It is important that we evaluate everything by its grid. What does the Bible have to say about our words?

In scripture, we find that there is a time and a place to warn. There is a time and a place to speak the truth about someone—even if it’s not “positive” or uplifting. This is clearly not wrong.

So when is it wrong? It’s wrong when our motives are impure. It’s wrong when we are speaking to bring glory and attention to ourselves. It’s wrong when we relish the shocked responses of our audience. And it’s wrong when we speak (or write) without edification to our hearers (It is not to warn or for any other beneficial reason).

I think we all struggle with gossip at some level. I know I do. I praise God I am not who I was, but I know I am still not who I should be.

We live in a world that relishes gossip. For some, it’s as natural as breathing, and spending time with someone like this can draw us into this sin before we even realize it.

Oh, to grow in this area of recognizing the sin and being the person that shuts it down.

I read a delightful page in a fiction book just recently about this very thing. Two women were talking and as the one offered a tidbit of gossip, the other one simply said this: “Why, I don’t believe I need to know that”. She said it kindly and lovingly but the intention was clear: I am not going to gossip about this person.

I want to be like her. It’s not easy, is it? It’s not easy to be the one that shuts down gossip.

We also live in a world that loves bigger and better. And this includes the stories that swirl all around us every day—in the office, at church, and especially on social media. The bigger the story the better. People, in general, have a thirst for bigger and better. This leads to a lot of exaggeration and a lot of lies.

So it’s not just about speaking the truth. Turning from gossip is also about carefully discerning what we hear, as well. There are a lot of lies and half-truths told about people to make a story “bigger and better”. Not everything we hear is true.

Having been the victim of ugly gossip and lies at one point in my life, I can tell you how grateful I was for the one person who actually came to me personally and asked for the truth. May we be that kind of person.

So how do we show we are different in this area of words?

We stand out as believers by not joining the gossip swirling around us. We stand out by simply speaking the truth, as it is. We stand out as believers by seeking the real truth, rather than just believing what we hear. We show we are different by the love and grace we offer to others, no matter what we hear about them. And, yes, we show we are different by lovingly warning others of false teachers and dangerous spiritual counselors, while never being defined by just this aspect.

In other words, we should never be known only for our negative words. But we should also not be known as someone who only speaks positive words. Both are necessary for spiritual good health.

John gives such a wonderful, well-rounded example for us to follow, doesn’t he? In the scriptures that he has written (through the Holy Spirit) we find that, while he does warn of those who bring spiritual danger, his books are not defined by these warnings. He also exhorts, loves, and rejoices in those to whom he is writing.

Occasional and well-timed “negative words” about others are not wrong, but may our lives never be defined by only these. May we seek to be like John, willing to speak both positive and negative words, always discerning carefully as we choose what to say and when to say it.

And may we examine our hearts for the sin of gossip and ask the Lord to help us to stay far from this troublesome sin that causes so much heartache and damage.

Our words hold so much weight. We can make a difference with them—both through our positive words and our negative words. But this will only happen when we keep our hearts free of impure motives.

Praying for a pure heart is probably a prayer we should all pray as we seek to live for the Lord.

Staying in Our Story

Leave a Comment / April 21, 2026 April 21, 2026

The other day I heard the phrase “stay in your story” and I’ve been reflecting on it ever since.

The phrase was said in reference to a persecuted Christian who spent years in prison and, as a very old man, was able to see his son actually serve as chaplain in that very same prison. Only God, right?

But only by “staying in his story” was he able to see the miraculous way God would work.

Obviously, there are times we must escape our stories. There are lots of reasons we must choose to leave a particular aspect of our story—heretical teaching, abuse, the future for our families, etc.

But, let’s put those very valid reasons aside for a moment and think on the ways we leave/change our stories every single day by walking away from people or situations. How often do we just escape our problems rather than facing them and learning from them?

This phrase has had me thinking about how much easier it is to walk away from a person or a situation than to stay in the thick of it and figure it out.

My husband and I will sometimes watch House Hunters International and, occasionally, there will be a couple who walks away from family and friends to go live on an island somewhere.

Sometimes that looks like a good option, right? Just leave. People are messy. Relationships are hard. Situations are sticky.

I am not implying that it is wrong for a couple to do this. I am sure some have really good reasons. But can I be honest? There are times when escaping to an island looks quite appealing to me and it isn’t for good reasons at all. I’m sure you have felt the same way at times.

Many times we find ourselves in situations we simply can’t escape and we can find ourselves “chomping at the bit” for a nonexistent escape route.

We live in a culture that tells us to run. If someone is “toxic” run. If you don’t have personal peace, run. If you aren’t happy, just…run.

If your spouse isn’t making you happy, run to someone else. If your church doesn’t do something the way that you like, just leave. If someone is annoying, just ignore them. If your friend hurt you, just avoid them.

Run away, leave, ignore, avoid…

But, yet, in doing these things, we don’t leave any room for God to work.

When we choose to stay in our story and have faith that God will work all things for our good and His glory (Romans 8:28) we leave room for God to work in amazing ways.

But, oh, that’s so much harder to live out than it is to type. And, in reflecting back on my life, I will readily admit that I have probably left people and situations that I shouldn’t have. And when I am in a situation I can’t escape, I can become grumpy and anxious. Oh, I have so far to go when I examine my heart regarding this particular subject!

Do you, like me, find yourself laying the same unsolvable puzzle or frustrating situation at the foot of the cross over and over again?

Sometimes—maybe even oftentimes—the way God changes a situation is by changing us. The verse that comes after the very popular Romans 8:28 is Romans 8:29, where we read that God’s purpose is to conform us into the image of His Son.

Frustrating people don’t generally become “un-frustrating” (only by God’s work in their lives is that even possible); Frustrating situations don’t generally disappear overnight.

But…

God will use these people and situations to work in our hearts. Puzzling, unfixable situations and frustrating, difficult people can teach us so much. We learn how to love unconditionally. We learn how to forgive. We learn how to offer undeserved grace to others. These situations release our grip from this world. They teach us to stop trusting in our own strength and help us understand how much we need God. Walking through these valleys will often cause us to evaluate what is important to us and…perhaps…show us what has become an idol in our life without us even realizing it.

When we stop making our comfort and happiness our idol and, instead, surrender our will to God’s and then turn to Him in prayer, seeking His will in His Word as we travel our dark valleys…well, this is when God will work in our own hearts and minds to conform us into His Son’s image.

I don’t know what you are facing today. I only know what I am facing today. May we both consider the value of “staying in our story” before we choose to run away.

Familiar Dirt

Leave a Comment / April 9, 2026 April 9, 2026

I shared the following on my Facebook page at the beginning of this week and I thought my email readers might appreciate it, as well. Hope it’s encouraging to you!

This past Sunday, as we all know, was Resurrection Sunday and my husband and I had to drive separately as we had to be at church at two different times.

In our church, we can purchase flowers to help brighten the sanctuary for this particular morning and so, after the service, I grabbed one the color of the sunset and took it to my car for the drive home.

I didn’t worry too much about situating it perfectly as I only had a five minute ride that had only one turn. I could hold on to it for that turn. All went very well until…

There was a second turn I hadn’t really thought about…the turn into my house. I am not sure what happened. Perhaps I grew distracted thinking about my day. Or I just had forgotten the tulip was there. But as I turned into my house, the tulip went flying, and made a royal mess on my recently swept car floor.

I was so annoyed.

But I took a picture. Because it seemed like there must be a lesson here (always, right?!)

My mind went to my sin, in this instance. We are so careful with a besetting sin. We pay attention, we work with the Holy Spirit, through prayer and scripture, to rid our lives of that sin.

And then…

Life throws us a curve ball. Or we allow ourselves to be too busy. Or whatever the reason…we start functioning on “autopilot”. We don’t pay as close attention.

And, plop! Just like that tulip slipped on to the floor and spilled dirt everywhere, we slip and find ourselves in a familiar pile of dirt. It can be very discouraging.

While a vacuum cleaned all that dirt in my car right up, a vacuum is absolutely useless in cleaning up our sinful messes. Thankfully, we have something far greater to cleanse our lives from the messes we make. We have a faithful God who forgives!

I John 1:9 puts it like this—

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

When we make a mess (which is almost every day, right?), we have a Savior who not only forgives and cleanses us from all unrighteousness, but who gives us a brand new fresh start each morning (Lamentations 3:22-24).

Praise the Lord for His amazing grace and abundant mercy! Today is a brand new day.

May we redeem the time, confess our sins, and use the gift of each day to seek the Lord in all our ways.

Here Lies a Man…

Leave a Comment / March 30, 2026 March 30, 2026

Yesterday, My Sunday School teacher (also my father-in-law) shared this epitaph that someone had found on a tombstone:

Here lies a man who went out of this world without knowing why he came into it.

Is that not one of the saddest things you ever heard? To never know purpose? To flounder and to wander through this world, always asking the question “why am I here?”

I don’t believe he is the only person who died not knowing why they were born. And even those who find some semblance of purpose through their jobs, their manmade religions, their families, or charity work still feel empty if they take a moment to actually examine their hearts and be honest with themselves.

This is because we all have only one true purpose and that is to worship, glorify, and obey the One True God in the way He demands, according to His Word, the Holy Bible.

There is rebellion in a man’s heart that keeps him from having a natural desire to do this. And so he searches in all kinds of places, hoping to fill that desire to worship with inferior, temporal things.

It’s only when we bow our knee to Jesus Christ and turn to Him alone as our Savior from sin and death, that we can even begin to understand our true purpose in this world. Jesus is not just one way. He is the only way to be right with God (John 14:6).

We can choose to bow our knee to Jesus Christ now and acknowledge Him as Lord….or we will be forced to do this later. It’s our choice. God leaves it up to us. For now.

Paul puts it like this—

Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross. Wherefore God also hath highly exalted him, and given him a name which is above every name: That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth; And that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. (Philippians 2:5-11)

Believing this—that Jesus is our Savior and Lord and our only way to be right with God—is life-changing.

I came across these verses yesterday (also from Philippians) and found myself meditating on them and what they mean for me (and for you) today, in this current time we find ourselves living in.

Here’s what Paul writes—

But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ. Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ, And be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith: That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death; If by any means I might attain unto the resurrection of the dead. Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus. Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus (Philippians 3:7-14).

Paul tells us to follow him as he follows Christ (I Corinthians 11:1). His example has been providentially given to us by God. If this is true, then what can we learn or be looking to attain for our own lives, based on this passage from Philippians?

First: All things are considered loss when compared to Christ. Counted as garbage, even. While these verses are nice to read, they are very difficult verses to actually live out. God has been revealing some idols in my life over the course of the last few months. Things that have taken too high of a priority in my life. While it can be painful, I am so thankful that God is opening my eyes to this.

Second: Christ alone is my righteousness. We stand before God clothed in Christ’s righteousness. There is nothing good in us and we can do nothing to make ourselves right with God (Isaiah 64:6, Romans 3:10) Any good works we do for the Lord should be because we love Him, and not because we need to do them to attain salvation or because we think He will be mad at us if we don’t do them. We can get a little mixed up with our motivation for good works, can’t we? Even those of us who know and believe this truth with our whole hearts.

Third: We must stop looking behind us and press toward the mark. One of Satan’s biggest tricks is to get us focusing on all we’ve done wrong in the past. Or to imprison us in our disappointments, our grudges, our unmet expectations of yesteryear. Again, easy to read and be inspired by these verses, but much more difficult to actually live out.

As we approach Resurrection Sunday and take time to reflect on what Christ has done for us, may we also reflect on the change His victory at the cross has wrought in our own lives.

May we remember our true purpose and turn from those temporal things that call to us, demanding our allegiance. May we turn back yet again with bowed knee and surrendered heart to the One who loves us most.

The Allure of a Lie

4 Comments / February 19, 2026 February 19, 2026

There is one particular thing that I’ve encountered over and over again as I seek God through His Word and compare what I see in the world to what I read in the Bible.

And that being: An unwillingness of certain people to even have a thoughtful discussion.

So many people toss out something you’ve studied at length with a quick word given with ridicule. In fact, “study” has become a word that is viewed with disdain in a lot of ways. Particularly if it comes to the Bible and comparing what it says, both for our lives today and for what it says regarding the future, to the things we are encountering in the world around us—particular the world that calls itself “Christian” or “evangelical”.

A pastor by the name of David Nelson (1793-1844) wrote a book back in the early 1800s that addresses this unwillingness to study for oneself:

We do suppose that of all the scoffers who were to come in the last day and who were to be wilfully ignorant, there is scarce, one but would be willing to receive historic knowledge, at least, provided an angel could just grasp it in his hand, and throw it into his brain, without any exertion on his part. But the toil of research he never encounters. He may snatch at some plausible objection to truth, as he hears it repeated: but to impartial investigation he is an utter stranger.

As Pastor Nelson implies, we do find that people who are unwilling to study for themselves, are, however, eager to grab on to and repeat a lie that promotes what they want to believe.

I say “they”. But, honestly, we can all be in danger of this, including myself. It is so much easier and alluring to believe an appealing lie than to face an unpleasant truth.

David Nelson goes on to say this about the one who would prefer to believe a lie—

still it is true, that one small cunningly devised falsehood will influence him further than one hundred plain and forcible arguments in favour of Revelation.

It is true, isn’t it? A cleverly devised falsehood will be most influential in the one who does not love the truth, and a mountain of Bible verses, facts, or documentation given as proof that his belief is not true will not change the mind of one who does not love the truth.

I’ve been thinking a lot about 2 Thessalonians 2:10-12 over thee past few months, in regards to this:

And with all deceivableness of unrighteousness in them that perish; because they received not the love of the truth, that they might be saved. And for this cause God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie: That they all might be damned who believed not the truth, but had pleasure in unrighteousness.

This is speaking specifically to the day when the world will fall for the deception of the antichrist. But there is a lesson for us all in these verses: If we do not love the truth, we will be vulnerable to deception.

A genuine love for truth is the only thing that will protect us.

And this genuine love for truth will only be developed in the one who, by the power of the Holy Spirit, takes the time to pray and study the Bible. Not just read it, but study it.

Horatius Bonar has the best wisdom about our own personal study of God’s Word—

The Word must be studied in all its fullness. Over its whole length and breadth we must spread ourselves. Above all theologies, creeds, catechisms, books and hymns, the Word must be meditated on, that we may grow in the knowledge of all its parts, and in assimilation to its models.

Our souls must be steeped in it, not in certain favourite parts of it, but in the whole. We must know it, not from the report of others, but from our own experience and vision, else will our life be but an imitation, our religion second-hand, and therefore second-rate.

Another cannot breathe the air for us, nor eat for us, nor drink for us. We must do these for ourselves. So no one can do our religion for us, nor infuse into us the life of truth which he may possess. These are not things of proxy or merchandise, or human impartation. Out of the Book of God and by the Spirit of God must each one of us be taught, else we learn in vain. Hence the exceeding danger of human influence or authority.

Just like another cannot breathe the air for us, nor eat for us, nor drink for us, so no one can do our religion for us nor infuse into us the life of truth.

Oh, how many Christians rely on others for their growth? I used to do this myself, to be honest. I’ve shared that here often. I feel like my Christian life was status quo and without vigor until I picked up God’s Word for myself and began to study it on a regular basis.

I am a testimony of its power working to steadfastly transform an undeserved, sinful woman into the image of Christ, little by little.

This doesn’t mean we won’t continue to have blind spots that keep us from seeing ourselves as we really are. It doesn’t mean we will be perfect or that we will never fight sin or worldliness again.

What it does mean is that God, through our daily study of His Word and time spent in prayer, will open our blind eyes and then enable us to fight against the sin and worldliness that He has revealed to us. That’s it. All glory to God.

I want to be careful here. I have not “arrived”, by any stretch of the imagination (just ask my family!!) I am serious when I say any change in me is by God’s grace. But the Word is changing me. And it will do the same for you.

But it is only through our daily study of God’s Word that we will be filled with a love for the truth and be transformed into the image of Christ.

And this can only happen if we are willing to see ourselves as we really are. It can only happen if we are willing to see the people we love, the people we struggle to love, the world, and all that is happening in the world around us as they really are.

If we hold tightly to a lie—to our own reality that doesn’t represent truth—well, then, we will never change. And we will never be all that we can be for God’s Kingdom.

Oh, to be believers that love God’s Word—all of it in its entirety. Oh, to be believers that study the Bible, all of it—not just the parts that we like or find comforting. Oh, to be believers that will keep ourselves from deception and delusion because we dearly love the truth.

The Rich and Divine Mosaic

Leave a Comment / February 5, 2026 February 5, 2026

God has really been working on me over the past several months. Or shall I say convicting me?

I had gotten a bit lazy in the outworking of my faith in my day-to-day life. Don’t get me wrong, nothing really bad. Just little things.

Things like not redeeming my time; or not paying close attention to how I care for my body. Little indulgences that were showing me my priorities. Little remarks to my husband that revealed an unloving heart.

I find that this stage of my life yields a higher temptation to get lazy and not examine my life as carefully as I did when I had kids at home watching my every move. After all, no one really knows if I am lazy, or watching too much TV, or yelling at my dogs. No one knows if I am encouraging others in unseen ways, if I am denying self, or choosing to forgive instead of holding a grudge.

At this stage of my life, with my husband still busy working, I have little accountability to anyone but God. And it’s easy to grow lazier and less “self-examining”.

But God has been calling me to examine myself. And to live a different life in the little things. A more holy life. An intentional daily life for Him.

The other night I saw a movie and there was some dialogue regarding the gap between who the girl was and who she wanted to be. And her dad said this: “Why don’t you become the girl you wish to be?”

It was a secular movie and the dialogue was from a worldly perspective, but it made me stop and think.

We, God’s dear, redeemed children, are not STUCK being the person we are. We, of all people, have hope for change. Why do we act like we are hopeless? Why do we believe we can’t change?

There is a lot in God’s Word about this particular topic and gives us much hope in this area of becoming more like Christ. However, I have been especially meditating on Galatians 2:20, which tells us what the redeemed life should look like.

I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.

You see, we rarely hear about crucifying self. About crucifying our own wants, needs, desires (little ones and big ones) to live for Christ.

If we do hear about it, it’s in some grand big celebrity style of giving up everything. Sell all your stuff and go live for Jesus in a different country. But Jesus never said this.

Instead, dying to self is in the little things. The little things we do and don’t do each day in our daily lives.

This is what God has been reminding me of in His Word and through many other ways.

As if to confirm what He wants me to learn, I read just last night the following in a book I am reading about holiness by Horatius Bonar. It can’t be an accident right? I thought I’d share it with you as I close this post today. I hope it’s a good reminder for us all that our holiness and sanctification shows itself in the littlest things. It’s so tempting to grow lazy, but let’s not ever be satisfied with status quo Christianity.

Bonar reminds us: A holy life is composed of the rich and divine mosaic made up of the little things.

Here’s what Horatius Bonar says about a holy life (emphasis mine)—-

But a holy life is made up of a multitude of small things. It is the little things of the hour, and not the great things of the age, that fill up a life like that of Paul and John, like that of Rutherford (1600-1661), or Brainerd (1718-1747), or Martyn (1781-1812).

Little words, not eloquent speeches or sermons, little deeds, not miracles, nor battles, nor one great heroic act or mighty martyrdom, make up the true Christian life. The little constant sunbeam, not the lightning, the waters of Siloah “that go softly” (Isa 8:6) in their meek mission of refreshment, not “the waters of the river, strong and many” (vs. 8), rushing down in torrent noise and force, are the true symbols of a holy life.

The avoidance of little evils, little sins, little inconsistencies, little weaknesses, little follies, little indiscretions and imprudences, little foibles, little indulgences of self and of the flesh, little acts of indolence or indecision or slovenliness or cowardice, little equivocations or aberrations from high integrity, little touches of shabbiness and meanness, little bits of covetousness and penuriousness [stinginess], little exhibitions of worldliness and gaiety, little indifferences to the feelings or wishes of others, little outbreaks of temper, or crossness, or selfishness, or vanity—the avoidance of such little things as these goes far to make up at least the negative beauty of a holy life.

And then attention to the little duties of the day and hour, in public transactions, or private dealings, or family arrangements; to little words, and looks, and tones; little benevolences, or forbearances, or tendernesses; little self-denials, and self-restraints, and self-forgetfulnesses, little plans of quiet kindness and thoughtful consideration for others; to punctuality, and method, and true aim in the ordering of each day—these are the active developments of a holy life, the rich and divine mosaics of which it is composed.

What makes yon green hill so beautiful? Not the outstanding peak or stately elm, but the bright sward [expanse of grass] which clothes its slopes, composed of innumerable blades of slender grass. It is of small things that a great life is made up; and he who will acknowledge no life as great save that which is built up of great things, will find little in Bible characters to admire or copy.

~Horatius Bonar (God’s Way of Holiness)

A Look Back

Leave a Comment / January 13, 2026 January 13, 2026

The other day, while searching for something on Amazon Prime, a movie was suggested on the screen that we had watched years ago. We wouldn’t watch that movie today as God has so kindly been gradually convicting us of the things we set before our eyes since that time. There are many things I “used to watch” that I wouldn’t choose to watch today.

Sometimes I can find myself thinking even today, “oh, it probably wasn’t that bad” and turn something on for nostalgia’s sake. However, I almost always end up turning the movie or show off because I realize now that it simply doesn’t please the Lord. Sometimes it’s hard to turn something off. Mostly, I don’t miss my old entertainment but I need to be honest with you—sometimes it’s hard.

But when we saw that specific movie on the screen, my husband and I started talking about some friends that had encouraged us to watch it along with other things that were simply not beneficial to any believer. We had a period of time where we watched a lot of popular tv and movies and the reason for this was because of these friends, as we had mostly avoided it earlier in our lives.

When we started to drift apart from these friends, we were very, very sad. We had appreciated our friendship with them. However, we got used to life without them in it and moved on.

It wasn’t until we saw the movie pop up on the screen the other evening that we realized that God took something that was sad and hurtful to us, which certainly didn’t seem “good” to us at the time, and He used it to protect us and to move us away from something that was hurting us spiritually. We never really thought of that before.

And I have been thinking of two things to consider from this look back at our lives…

First, it’s a vivid reminder that God really does work all things for our good (Romans 8:28). But it doesn’t always feel good. And it doesn’t always seem good. And we might not know for years and years later of any good that came from it. Perhaps we may never find out. But we need to trust Him. We need to trust that God is good and that He will fulfill His promise: If we love Him, then all things will work for our good.

Second, it’s a convicting reminder to be the kind of friend that encourages and builds up our friends in the Lord, rather than the kind of friend that leads people towards worldliness and sin.

It’s not just about entertainment—although that is a sadly overlooked problem among those who profess Christ. It IS a big deal and it changes us, whether we believe it does or doesn’t.

I can’t even begin to express how much difference it made in my walk with God as I intentionally began to remove worldly entertainment filled with bad language, sexual immorality, violence, and vain humanistic philosophies (the most subtle of all! and found in even the most innocuous entertainment) from my life. Not that I ever watched, listened to, or read really bad stuff. We can always rationalize, can’t we?

Even today, I can still catch myself trying to rationalize. Thankfully, I am now at least aware that I need to really pay attention to what I am allowing in my mind. I really encourage you to do the same.

Entertainment of all kinds—what we watch, listen to, and read—is a big old open door for Satan to implant his philosophies and perspectives in our minds. It’s just so dangerous. NONE of us are so spiritually strong that we can withstand the barrage of wickedness that comes through entertainment. There will be some kind of collateral spiritual harm. There always is, whether we are willing to admit it to ourselves or not.

But, it’s not just entertainment. We can also, if we aren’t careful, lead people in things like gossip, anger, and grudges; in encouraging people in humanistic and psychological philosophies; we can be a stumbling block by drinking alcohol; we women can tempt a man to lust by wearing immodest, revealing clothing.

Another very common way we lead people towards the world is by only discussing the temporal things of this life—the news, work or career, sports, our children and their doings, fashion, celebrities, etc. There is nothing innately wrong with discussing these things but when God and His Word rarely, or never, come up in our conversations or when these things are not discussed in light of God and His Word, it shows something about where our hearts are and it leads people towards the world, rather than towards Christ.

There are a lot of ways we can lead people away from Christ instead of towards Him.

Honest self-examination is the first step to determining if we are helping God’s kingdom or hindering it.

Of course, none of us will help 100% of the time. That’s never the goal because it’s not even possible.

But may our lives, as a rule, lead people towards Christ. Jesus says we are His friends if we do what He commands (John 15:14). May we be shining examples of leading a life of submission and obedience to God and His Word, rather than leading a life of “doing just enough to get by”, while clinging to the world or our sin.

And so there are two things I’ve been reflecting upon as I have been thinking about those cherished friendships that simply…disappeared. I have no idea where those friends are today and how the Lord has led them in the area of entertainment. Perhaps He has led them on a similar journey.

One thing we can be sure of—the Lord will lovingly and faithfully lead anyone who seeks Him. One step at a time, He will conform us into His image and use all things for our good and His glory.

May we be faithfully examining ourselves and seeking to humbly obey Him as we take the path of growing in Christ.

Liberty to Love

1 Comment / November 19, 2025 November 19, 2025

Galatians 5 has always been a favorite chapter of mine. Paul has spent the preceding four chapters explaining that we can never be justified by the law and that Jesus Christ is enough. And then in chapter five, he starts off with—

Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.

We are to stand fast in the liberty that we are given through Christ. Paul then spends the rest of the book showing us what that looks like.

Does it mean we can immerse ourselves in worldliness and sinful behavior, knowing we are forgiven?

He answers this clearly in verse 13–

For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another.

Clearly the answer to that question is no. We are not saved so that we have the liberty to sin and embrace the world.

We are saved and given the liberty to love. To love and serve God. To love and serve one another.

Our new life in Christ has changed our WHY.

We don’t do the right things because we “have” to. We don’t do them to merit favor with God.

We do them because we have finally been given the liberty to love.

Most of us are very familiar with verses 22-23 of chapter 5, where we are given a list of the fruits of the Spirit. Can you remember what they are?

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.

But the next verse is probably not as familiar to us—

And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. (Vs 24)

Those that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its affections and lusts. This is a description of every believer. It should describe us. We have crucified (or are actively trying to crucify) our flesh.

Crucify— to subdue (conquer; bring into subjection; overcome; repress)

Flesh—our old man; our human nature

So, rather than fulfilling our desires for the world and to sin, we are to live with intention and be turning away from them. Crucifying them.

Crucify is such a strong word, isn’t it? We see Paul has used it earlier in this book, when he says in chapter 2:20–

So we aren’t crucifying our flesh for no purpose. As we crucify our flesh more and more, we make more and more room for Christ to live in us. As we live for Christ, we, through Him, love God and others.

This is reflected in our lives in all areas. It’s not just about “being nice” to people. It goes far deeper…it is reflected in how we love others when no one is watching—how we treat our spouses every day; how we respond when someone irritates us; it is reflected in how freely we forgive and the amount of grace we offer to others. It’s also reflected in how much we love God—shown clearly by what we put before our eyes on the tv, the Internet, or books (do we love Him enough to turn our eyes from the things He hates?) It is reflected in how we spend our money and time (do we consider His will as we make these decisions?) And it is reflected in how we respond when we face a trial, large or small (do we really trust Him?)

This topic is probably one of the most difficult things to navigate as a believer in our current culture. As soon as we raise the topic, cries of legalism rent the air.

But the liberty to love and then to live our lives in response to that love (for God and for others) is in direct opposition to legalism.

This verse has really been on my mind and so I thought I’d share what I’ve been thinking about. Hope it encourages you to also ponder our liberty to love and instills in you the same desire it has in me: To love God more and to love myself less. To turn from my fleshly desires and to fill the void with Christ.

May I seek God’s glory instead of my own. May I seek God’s approval rather than man’s. May I seek to submit and to obey God rather than to fulfill the desires and lusts of my flesh that insistently (and sometimes so very LOUDLY) call out to me each and every day.

We will never do this perfectly, but, by His grace, we will do it more and more with each passing day.

Who’s Really Inside?

1 Comment / October 28, 2025 October 28, 2025

This past weekend, we had the opportunity to spend the weekend with my parents at the beach. It was extra fun, as the kind couple who allowed us to use their beach house had a street-legal golf cart that they said we could use. And so off we set on our adventure of exploring our favorite beach town from a golf cart!

Traveling down streets unknown to us before, we came across beautiful new houses, as well as small cottages that had been there for a long, long time. Most houses were beautifully cared for, while just a few sat a bit forlorn, needing a new coat of paint or some landscaping.

At one point, we went around a corner and we saw a brand new—rather large—building. It was cream-colored with black shutters and looked rather like a hotel…but not quite. As we traveled the block, the building became one story and stretched out the entire block. Curious to see what the building was, we turned the corner to find out as we came to the end of the block.

Lo and behold, what we saw surprised us all. For right behind the single story “building” (which ended up being only about two feet wide) sat the town’s electrical plant. None of us had even noticed the wires and towers behind the one story building.

We drove off and then I told my husband to turn around so I could take a photo (see below). I had been reading about the Pharisees and I knew that what we were seeing was a little like the Pharisees. They looked all nice and proper on the outside but they were downright ugly inside. Jesus called them whitened sepulchres (or whitewashed tombs)—

Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye are like unto whited sepulchres, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men’s bones, and of all uncleanness. (Matthew 23:27)

We often hear stories of pastors or celebrities that “fall into sin” but these things do not happen in a vacuum. Many people put on an act and pretend to be something they are not. This is not unusual.

Oftentimes, the ugliest sins are hidden behind a “Christian” facade.

So many pretenders. So many liars. So many wolves in sheep’s clothing. They come as angels of light but they seek to starve your soul and take your eyes off the true God, the real Jesus, and the Bible.

But you know, these aren’t the only pretenders. I thought it was interesting to read this morning—

Nevertheless among the chief rulers also many believed on him; but because of the Pharisees they did not confess him, lest they should be put out of the synagogue: For they loved the praise of men more than the praise of God. (John 12:42-43)

Here we see chief rulers pretending not to believe on Jesus Christ because they loved the praise of men more than they loved God.

What an indictment! May this never be said of us.

Some people pretend to be something they aren’t because they lack courage and they love themselves and the praise of men more than they love God and the truth.

So how does this apply to us? Those of us who have been saved by faith in Christ alone are new creatures. And so what is inside of us should be consistent with what is outside of us.

There should be no hypocrisy in the life of a believer.

I remember years ago, someone using that verse about God looking on the heart, while man looks on the outside (I Samuel 16:7) as a reason to look and live like the world.

But that isn’t what that verse means at all. We can know this by reading this verse in the context of the rest of scripture.

God expects our outside to match our inside. We cannot be a new creature inside without looking like a new creature on the outside. All throughout the New Testament we are given the description of the true believer. We are told what God wants us to look like.

We will never be able to match that description perfectly, of course. But, through examining ourselves to see if we are in the faith (2 Corinthians 13:5), by proving all things and holding fast to what is good (I Thess. 5:21), and by being diligent to make our calling and election sure (2 Peter 1:10-11) we will be sure to continue moving in the right direction.

Remember: It’s about direction, not perfection.

These things we are called to aren’t meant to be burdensome. We know that because Jesus tells us that His yoke is easy and His burden is light (Matthew 11:30).

If we are feeling burdened; if these things we are called to do not feel easy or light, well, then, perhaps we are a little like those chief priests—loving the praise of men more than we love the Lord. Having our souls entrenched in the things of this world, we struggle to turn from things that are not building us up in the faith. Loving the world and loving our sin keep us from growing as we should.

As we become less enamored with the things of this world and as our hatred for sin grows, the heavy burden we were feeling about holiness, turning from the world, and living for Jesus grows lighter and lighter.

And just to be honest, this only began to change for me when I began to read the Word—to really study it—for myself personally.

If we genuinely want to grow but the burden feels so heavy, then we must pray that God will give us that desire and open our eyes to what is keeping us fettered and imprisoned. What is keeping us from feeling the freedom we have in Christ to live a righteous life for God?

By the way—not to get too off topic—however, I feel like it is important to mention—

We are free to live righteously. We are not free to sin and we are not free to love the world and be like the world. This is so clear all throughout scripture but Romans 6 is a great place to start if you want to know more.

Life is full of challenges and one of those challenges is to be real and authentic. To be a godly person on the inside and the outside. Wherever this is not taking place, there is hypocrisy. God hates hypocrisy.

May we be those who shine the genuine light of Christ and may those who see that light find in us an example of consistency. May we be the same person both inside and out.

The facade that hides the electrical plant

Never Satisfied with Status Quo

1 Comment / October 15, 2025 October 15, 2025

A few weeks ago, I was delighted to return to a church that has welcomed me as a speaker for several years now. This year my topic was about aging and beauty. What exactly does scripture have to say about these things?

The topic was my idea—as I had been wanting to dig into the Bible and see what it has to say about these things for a long time. We hear so many things about this topic but what does the Bible actually have to teach about them? That’s what I wanted to know. And I hoped the ladies at the church would be interested, too. Thankfully, they were! No matter who we are or what age, we women especially, find this topic particularly relevant to our daily lives in one way or another.

This morning, I’d like to share just one point of that presentation. This point has continued to personally cause me much consideration, reflection, and conviction.

There is a little verse at the end of I Corinthians 10 that says—

Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.

Whatever we do, we are to do to the glory of God. Do ALL to the glory of God.

I don’t know about you, but I find myself doing so many things with myself much more in mind. Our flesh cries out not only for glory, but for love, comfort, convenience, indulgence, popularity, fairness, justice, revenge…to name just a few.

And we make choices with these things in mind. Many times, without even realizing it.

For example…

We may choose not to speak truth because we desire to be loved more than we desire to glorify God.

We may choose to eat too much or buy too much because our flesh wants to be indulged and that’s more important than glorifying God.

We may choose to wear something (or allow our daughter to wear something) that is utterly inappropriate because popularity is more important to us than glorifying God.

We may choose to say something sarcastically or make a snide remark because fairness and revenge take priority over glorifying God.

We may choose to watch, read, or listen to something for so many reasons—popularity, wanting to be liked or loved, indulging our flesh… we have so many reasons (and excuses and rationalizations) as to why we fill our minds with wicked entertainment.

We may… well, you get the idea. It is the nitty gritty of the Christian life. It encompasses life-altering choices and the smallest decisions of every single day.

Do I want to glorify God most? Do my choices and decisions reflect the fact that glorifying God is more important than anything that has to do with ME?

I’ll just be flat-out honest (since those who know me already know this, anyway). The answer to that question is: NO. I don’t.

I’d rather guess that you may have to answer this the same way. We believers are so far from perfect, it’s scary. And we know it, too. It’s why we are so grateful for Jesus. He is perfect so we don’t have to be.

But, that being said, we want to, right? We want to make decisions to glorify God instead of to fulfill some fleshly desire.

And we make more decisions based on this than we used to. We can see how God is growing us and changing us. So we need to be grateful and not wallow in a pit of discouragement. We are not the same people we used to be. Praise be to God, we are not the same as we used to be!

But there is always so much room for improvement, right? The further along we walk in the Christian life, the more we comprehend how far we have to go.

I don’t know if you ever noticed the tagline for Growing4Life. It is “never satisfied with status quo”.

It is so tempting to be satisfied with status quo in our current culture. To just do enough to be considered “Christian” without making any sacrifices; while still fulfilling our flesh.

But this is not what God calls us to. Over and over again in scripture we read of God’s call to deny self, turn from our fleshly desires, offer our bodies as a living sacrifice—to live as a new creature.

We are going upstream in a downstream world. We live a totally different life because God has changed us and is changing us into a totally different person.

I don’t know about you, but I find that I can lean into status quo far too easily and just live day to day without really considering these things. Ignoring verses like I Corinthians 10:31 (not purposefully) as I go about my day to day activities.

That speaking engagement really made me stop short and start paying attention to why I do what I do. And while it has been a rather discouraging exercise, I am thankful. Thankful that the Lord has, yet again, opened my eyes to see myself as I really am.

These things tend to keep us humble and full of grace for others who are on the spiritual battlefield beside us, as we realize we aren’t “all that” and have so much further to go in pleasing our Lord and Savior.

I know this isn’t the feel-good, touchy-feely kind of post that people tend to be drawn to these days. But sometimes we just need to face the cold, hard truth about ourselves, don’t we? Or we will never change. We will never look more like Christ.

Instead, we will be caught up in the endless quagmire of “status quo”, always and only trying to do just enough to be called a “Christian” while still fulfilling our own fleshly desires.

Oh, may this never be said of us. May we never be satisfied with status quo. May we get in the habit of asking the question: What will bring glory to God?

May we keep moving upward and onward, one choice at a time.