Christian Living

Revolutionizing and Restoring Relationships

I’ve been thinking about something for a while now. Something about which the Lord has been both convicting me and teaching me. I am not sure I’ll be able to write it all out very well, but I’m going to give it a try.

Once upon a time, there was a person I knew (going to be vague purposely) who left many different people with some pretty bad memories when they left this earth. Things were never made right and the harmony and love that was hoped for was never realized.

I spent quite a few years very upset about this. Not necessarily for my sake but for others that I love very much. My opinion about that person was extremely negative for many years.

And then one day, not that long ago, I had a good memory come to mind of that person. A really good memory of a time shared together. And when I remembered that, other good memories started to surface. They had been deeply buried underneath all the hurt and angst that surrounded their last years.

And these memories taught me something: People just aren’t a “cut and dried” good or bad, like we’d like them to be. We tend to assign labels (even if it’s in our own minds) as to what we believe them to be. But it’s just not that simple.

Some are worse than others. We cannot deny that. Some are more challenging than others to love, for sure. But we can’t control them, can we? We can only control our own thoughts and actions. And that’s what today’s post is about.


We want people to be a certain way. And when they aren’t, we tend to write them off. Or we fight with them. Or we are discontent and we complain. There are many ways we show that we are not happy with the way someone is.

But I am beginning to understand the importance of accepting people where they are.

This doesn’t mean we don’t pray for them. It doesn’t mean we stop trying to make our relationships better. It doesn’t mean we do not confront sin or worldliness because of our love for someone.

What it does mean is that we love them despite their faults. We stop nitpicking and fussing. We lower our expectations and we stop basing our love for someone on those expectations (which are often impossible for someone to fully meet).

It means we stop trying to change them. Rather, we pray for them and, instead of harsh criticism, our conversations of confrontation are filled with our love for them.

And…we stop allowing our peace to be destroyed by them. Because our peace is to come from Jesus, not from people.


And I have had to think…if God would have only offered His love and salvation to me when I was perfect, I would not be saved today. Instead, God reached out to me while I was still a sinner (Romans 5:8). We love Him because He first loved us (I John 4:19).

Perhaps it is time that we start following God’s example in His love towards us. It’s time to eliminate the conditions. It’s time to stop getting so offended. It’s time to stop trying to fix people.

Instead we need to love them right where they are at, as God has demonstrated for us.

After all, am I that easy to love? Are you? If we are honest, we all will admit that we aren’t.

People just aren’t cut and dried. None of us are.

So instead of focusing on the things that drive us crazy, why not focus on the positive things we appreciate? The good memories rather than the bad memories?

Most people in our lives have some qualities for which we can be thankful. Why do we so easily focus on the negative??


Over the course of the past years, I have learned so much about having grace for others. And I have grown in this area. But God has been showing me lately that it’s not just having outward grace, while inwardly being annoyed or frustrated. It’s about both outward and inward grace towards those whom I don’t understand; Towards those that act in ways that frustrate or confuse me.

Everyone is shaped by so many things. My life experience is not your life experience. We often do things for reasons even we don’t understand. And so does everyone else.

People just aren’t always going to be how you want them to be. For example…I will always talk too much. I don’t want to and I try to work on it. But, so often, I go home from church or some event and I think…now why can’t I just be quiet?

But the people that are annoyed by my “over-talking” have no idea that I am actually annoyed with myself, too!

I need so much grace… I’d rather guess you do, too. So why not offer that same grace we need to the people around us?

People are struggling with sin issues and going through hard things, just as we are. They, too are responding or reacting in a certain way because it’s simply a personality trait they struggle with; or perhaps it’s due to a sin (which they may or may not be aware of yet) and God will show them eventually, just as He faithfully reveals our sin to us; It may be that they have had an experience in life that is causing their response; or any number of other things that affect how someone talks and acts. Just like us.

We all have different struggles and challenges. We all have blind spots. We all, if we are sincere believers, desire to be more like Christ. Unfortunately, we do it so pathetically imperfectly. That flesh is a real foe for most of us.

So perhaps it is time that we stop being annoyed and frustrated and just accept people where they are. Perhaps it is past time to offer genuine grace to others—the same grace that God offers to us and that we desire from others towards ourself.


The person I spoke about above chose not to reconcile with those that loved them so dearly. The situation felt utterly impossible. And there will always be great sorrow surrounding the whole thing. But in the midst of this, God brought to mind something that was good.

I want to be a person that can understand that life just can’t be broken down into “good” or “bad”. It’s so much more complex than that.

And that people aren’t all good or all bad. We are all a mumble jumble of both. (FYI: Yes, I do believe we are all depraved sinners in need of a Savior. I am referring here to the average person, both saved and unsaved to which God, through His amazing “common grace”, grants positive personality traits that are beneficial to humankind.)


I used strong words in the title of this post. Revolutionize and Restore are both words that bring to mind big change. I used those words because I believe if we begin to approach our relationships with an attitude of acceptance, rather than an attitude of dissatisfaction, it will revolutionize and restore our relationships.

I believe if we begin to love someone without condition, instead of waiting for them to love us according to our expectations, it will revolutionize and restore that relationship.

According to scripture, we are to live according to the Spirit (Romans 8:1-2). It really is this that sets us apart from the unsaved in this day-to-day world. And one of the ways we can live according to the Spirit is by becoming more like God in how we approach our relationships.

But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8)

The Siren Song of Fame

When I first started writing here, blogging was “the thing”. But that has slowly waned in popularity until, today, few people are reading anything. It went from blogging to Twitter (reading short sentences) to, finally, not reading at all. We live in a world where shorts and reels (short videos) have taken over the world of social media.

And I have to wonder: What is this doing to our brains?

In the midst of that concern are the content creators who will do almost anything to get noticed. With the birth of social media came a reality perhaps none of us expected: Anyone can become famous.

When I was a kid, this was simply not possible. It would take a lot of connections and a good dose of luck (to put it in worldly terms) to become a household name.

But that is not the case any longer. Now anyone can be famous through YouTube, TikTok, and Instagram.

Of course, there are some very sincere content creators who are not out for the fame. But the siren song* of fame will call out to anyone who puts themselves online.

After I was writing for a few years, I almost followed that song myself. I started following a social media influencer who gave me “rules” to follow that would increase my popularity. Interestingly enough, this “Christian” told me why I could freely boast on myself and put myself out there as something special as I tried to gain likes and followers.

It did not sit well with me. And I waffled. What was I doing?

Finally, one day I heard a pastor say that he leaves his sermons in the hands of the Lord. He trusts God to get them to the ears of the people that need to hear them. His desire is to simply be faithful.

As always, God’s timing is perfect. It was exactly what I needed to hear as I struggled with that siren song.

I am no pastor, but I took on that same philosophy for this ministry. I stopped trying to gain followers and simply wrote what I hoped and prayed was faithful to the Word of God.

A few years later, God totally surprised me when one of my posts went viral (I wonder if any of you are around here long enough to remember that? Perhaps some of you found me during that time?) It was completely unexpected. And threw me for a bit of a loop, if I am honest.

Nothing like that has ever happened again. And I am okay with that. It was a such a good lesson for me to learn. God will bring to the blog (and the Facebook page) whoever belongs there. My job is to just be faithful to His Word.

As I experienced, the siren song of fame and popularity can call loud. Even if we are not on social media, this can be a temptation for so many of us…at work, in our families, in our churches. We want to be popular. We want to be liked.

As believers, we have to remember that “we have died and our life is hid with Christ in God” (Colossians 3:3); that we “are crucified with Christ, and therefore we no longer live” (Galatians 2:20).

Instead of drawing people to ourselves and all that we have done or accomplished, we want to draw people to Christ and what He has done.

I know there are believers with a social media presence that have nothing to do with the Bible. They are teaching people to cook or fish or use the computer. These are good things. I have learned a lot from people online and I am thankful for it.

But, at the end of the day…whether we are online or aren’t…whether we are in a career or ministry that is focused on temporal things or eternal…we believers need to keep our mind set on things above (Colossians 3:1-2).

And, while none of us will do that perfectly, I am so thankful for the Bible that, if we are faithfully reading and studying it, will help us do just that.


*Siren song—A pleasant or beautiful song that lures people into danger. In this case, spiritual danger.

The Greatness of His Power

Imagine you are a tiny, insignificant ant. One of thousands in a specific colony of ants. Just a few yards from you on all sides are other colonies, totaling millions of ants.

As you look up one day, you see a large shadow. It is the shadow of a human being, gigantic and awesome in its size. Capable of squishing you and dozens of your friends in a single footstep.

Now imagine the audacity (and silliness) of you stamping your six feet in indignation at this human being when he doesn’t do what you want him to do. Imagine the audacity (and silliness) of demanding something specific from this human being as one single ant in the midst of millions of ants.

It’s a silly, ridiculous scene, impossible to fathom.

And yet…

Aren’t we doing the same thing, when we shake our fists at God and demand our own ways?

As we contemplate the analogy, we can recognize that our situation is quite different in two very critical ways…

—we have an AWESOME God who actually cares about us personally. This is ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE!!

—the difference between ants and people would be as nothing when compared to the infinite difference between people and God.


One of the things I love in the *Prayer Journal I created recently is the last section, where there are Bible passages to pray for my family. This morning, I reached the passage from Ephesians 1, which reads—

Wherefore I also, after I heard of your faith in the Lord Jesus, and love unto all the saints, Cease not to give thanks for you, making mention of you in my prayers; That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give unto you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him: The eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that ye may know what is the hope of his calling, and what the riches of the glory of his inheritance in the saints, And what is the exceeding greatness of his power to us-ward who believe, according to the working of his mighty power, Which he wrought in Christ, when he raised him from the dead, and set him at his own right hand in the heavenly places, Far above all principality, and power, and might, and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this world, but also in that which is to come: And hath put all things under his feet, and gave him to be the head over all things to the church, Which is his body, the fulness of him that filleth all in all. (Ephesians 1:15-23)

As I was praying through this passage this morning, I had to think about “the exceeding greatness of His power to us-ward who believe”.

If God chooses not to work in the way we want, it’s not because He can’t.

Rather, it’s because He can see what we can’t see.

We are like that ant, on the ground, with a very small, short-sighted view of the world around us.

Our perspectives are skewed by our sin, our environments, our pasts, our fleshly desires, and, yes, our human limitations.

We cannot begin to understand the fullness of God’s love or the intricacies of God’s plans. It’s impossible because He is so great and we are so small.


There are some amazing things to consider as we reflect on our likeness to the ant.

First, as mentioned above, the fact that we have a God that cares for His own redeemed children to such a personal extent is simply amazing. I never cease to be in awe over this.

Second, when I consider the arrogance I must have when I get angry or sulky at God for not giving me my way, I am ashamed.

Third, when I consider the worry and anxiety that can sometimes overwhelm me and then remember that I am personally cared for by this wonderful and loving Heavenly Father, I am stymied. Why would I be worried or anxious, when Almighty God is looking out for me?


This passage from Ephesians, chapter 1, not only gives us wonderful things to pray for our families and others that we love, but it serves as a powerful reminder that our loving God has all power to do anything for us.

If He chooses not to, it is because He knows what we don’t know. It is because He sees the pasts, presents, and futures of ALL people in the minutest detail. He sees that what might seem beneficial to us will hurt someone else. Or that the future will be changed irreversibly and terribly should we get our heart’s desire at this very moment.

Just as a person can see so much more than an ant, God can see infinitely more than a person.

I think that sometimes, in our efforts to define Jesus as our friend, we forget how great He really is. In the normalcy of our culture’s self-absorption, we forget that God doesn’t exist to serve me and my wants but I exist to serve Him.

Just some things I was thinking about this morning…

*I published a prayer journal earlier this year. If you are interesting in checking it out, you can find it at this link.

The Weight of Our Words

There are those who would say we should never speak (or write) negatively about someone. That this is the essence of gossip.

But we know that cannot be true because of 3 John, where John writes in his letter to Gaius about a man by the name of Diotrephenes. John does not mince words: This man likes pre-eminence among his church family; he speaks with malicious words; he is a bad influence on others, seeking to lead them in a wrong direction.

The Holy Spirit would never direct John to gossip, so we know what he has written here cannot be defined as gossip. Clearly, there is a time and a place to speak negatively about others.

John was simply stating a fact and issuing a warning about this dangerous man. This is not sinful. In fact, we see this happening in scripture more than just here. Both Jesus and Paul speak hard, unpleasant truths about others (Matthew 23; 2 Timothy 4).

So if speaking negative words is not sinful, in and of itself, what makes gossip…gossip?

It is clearly the motivation behind the words.

The sin of gossip stems from a malicious heart or a nosey mind that relishes in hearing juicy tidbits about others. The gossiper wants to be “in the know” and they love nothing more than hearing updates about people—particularly negative updates—that they can then pass along to others.

So how did we end up believing that all negative words about others equal gossip? Well, let me give you the answer in a nutshell.

In 1952, a false teacher by the name of Norman Vincent Peale wrote a book called “The Power of Positive Thinking”. With this book, he planted the seed of this belief: “Positive words are good. Negative words are bad.” This philosophy was warmly received by many and the seed of this heretical teaching grew and grew, until it has tentacles in almost every church.

Never speak negative words. Only speak positive words.

Even solid churches, where they revere the Word of God, seem to think it is sinful to speak negative words—even if it is for their very important calling to warn and protect their flocks.

This is when we must stop and think. Are we following the Bible or are we following a manmade philosophy?

As believers, we get our guide for life from God’s Word. It is important that we evaluate everything by its grid. What does the Bible have to say about our words?

In scripture, we find that there is a time and a place to warn. There is a time and a place to speak the truth about someone—even if it’s not “positive” or uplifting. This is clearly not wrong.

So when is it wrong? It’s wrong when our motives are impure. It’s wrong when we are speaking to bring glory and attention to ourselves. It’s wrong when we relish the shocked responses of our audience. And it’s wrong when we speak (or write) without edification to our hearers (It is not to warn or for any other beneficial reason).

I think we all struggle with gossip at some level. I know I do. I praise God I am not who I was, but I know I am still not who I should be.

We live in a world that relishes gossip. For some, it’s as natural as breathing, and spending time with someone like this can draw us into this sin before we even realize it.

Oh, to grow in this area of recognizing the sin and being the person that shuts it down.

I read a delightful page in a fiction book just recently about this very thing. Two women were talking and as the one offered a tidbit of gossip, the other one simply said this: “Why, I don’t believe I need to know that”. She said it kindly and lovingly but the intention was clear: I am not going to gossip about this person.

I want to be like her. It’s not easy, is it? It’s not easy to be the one that shuts down gossip.

We also live in a world that loves bigger and better. And this includes the stories that swirl all around us every day—in the office, at church, and especially on social media. The bigger the story the better. People, in general, have a thirst for bigger and better. This leads to a lot of exaggeration and a lot of lies.

So it’s not just about speaking the truth. Turning from gossip is also about carefully discerning what we hear, as well. There are a lot of lies and half-truths told about people to make a story “bigger and better”. Not everything we hear is true.

Having been the victim of ugly gossip and lies at one point in my life, I can tell you how grateful I was for the one person who actually came to me personally and asked for the truth. May we be that kind of person.


So how do we show we are different in this area of words?

We stand out as believers by not joining the gossip swirling around us. We stand out by simply speaking the truth, as it is. We stand out as believers by seeking the real truth, rather than just believing what we hear. We show we are different by the love and grace we offer to others, no matter what we hear about them. And, yes, we show we are different by lovingly warning others of false teachers and dangerous spiritual counselors, while never being defined by just this aspect.

In other words, we should never be known only for our negative words. But we should also not be known as someone who only speaks positive words. Both are necessary for spiritual good health.

John gives such a wonderful, well-rounded example for us to follow, doesn’t he? In the scriptures that he has written (through the Holy Spirit) we find that, while he does warn of those who bring spiritual danger, his books are not defined by these warnings. He also exhorts, loves, and rejoices in those to whom he is writing.

Occasional and well-timed “negative words” about others are not wrong, but may our lives never be defined by only these. May we seek to be like John, willing to speak both positive and negative words, always discerning carefully as we choose what to say and when to say it.

And may we examine our hearts for the sin of gossip and ask the Lord to help us to stay far from this troublesome sin that causes so much heartache and damage.

Our words hold so much weight. We can make a difference with them—both through our positive words and our negative words. But this will only happen when we keep our hearts free of impure motives.

Praying for a pure heart is probably a prayer we should all pray as we seek to live for the Lord.

Bank Adventures

A few months ago, I went to the bank to try to figure out why a deposit wasn’t showing on my statement. I had called and talked to someone but she, after sending the statements away to the “appropriate department”, had insisted rather condescendingly that all was well with my account. I was sure that it wasn’t.

I decided to head over to the local branch and talk to someone in person. This is not our main bank and I don’t go there very often. This means they naturally do not know me there.

As I tried to explain the problem to the bank teller, she eyed me indifferently. She wasn’t mean but she also wasn’t nice. I felt a bit frustrated at her apathy, although I did try very hard to stay kind and keep my voice neutral.

She finally turned to her computer and said, “what’s your last name?”

When I said my last name, her face brightened and her whole demeanor changed. Oh, yes, I see those checks come in and I process them, she said and, quite unexpectedly, she became much more interested in what was going on with my account.

I don’t know this woman and, to my knowledge, she doesn’t know me. But, for whatever reason, my last name triggered a response.

Despite the change in her attitude, she didn’t really help me.

A few days later, never really receiving any answers from the women at my local branch, I called the branch in the next town. The young man who answered the phone was cheerful and kind before I even spoke a word. He took down my information and within 24 hours had answered where my disappearing deposit had gone (to the wrong account).


A few weeks later, I went into my regular bank. We have personal and business accounts there and had a very good relationship with the former manager of the branch. (Disappointingly, the current manager is very disinterested in her customers but that’s irrelevant here.)

On this particular day the teller didn’t know me and she was stammering, saying she needed my ID to finish my transaction. I was surprised because I was making a large deposit into my account (and I was not withdrawing a cent) so I was kindly trying to understand why.

The former bank manager, who works from several branches in a certain department, just happened to be there in a next door office with the door open. I could see him listening to what was going on and soon he came out and told her that I am who I say I am and she didn’t need my ID to process the deposit.

There is just something about being known, isn’t there?


As I reflect on my experiences at the two different banks, I realized I ran into five very different types of people.

First, woman #1 that I called at Bank #1. Ostensibly, she acted like she cared but obviously she a) had no idea what she was doing (claimed to send it away but could never have actually done that, as it was a simple mistake to find) and b) didn’t really care, as her condescension in telling me that all was well was clearly not care.

Some people can pretend to be nice but, in the end, show their true colors of self-interest and lack of compassion.

Second, woman #2 from Bank #1. This woman was cold and apathetic until she heard my name. For some unknown reason this filled her with interest to help me. When I was unknown to her, she was totally disinterested. And she never did help me.

This woman is a great example of the biased person that James talks about in his second chapter (verses 1-8). She changed her demeanor and her behavior based on who the person was rather than treating all people the same.

Third, man #1 at Bank #1, different branch. This young man answered my call with a pleasant and kind voice. He listened to my problem, acknowledged my concern, and promised to get back to me. And he did so in a timely manner. He also actually found the issue.

He was a great example of customer service. And of how we should live life—with kindness, concern, and follow-through of promises.

Fourth, woman #1 at Bank #2. This woman was kind but lacking in knowledge of who I was. It wasn’t her fault and she was just doing what she was supposed to be doing.

She was a good example of an employee, showing kindness and following the bank rules. Many people do not have that level of integrity anymore.

Fifth, and finally, man #1 at Bank #2. This former manager unselfishly stepped in to a situation when he could have just ignored us for his own selfish agenda.

This man was busy working on his own thing and he wouldn’t have had to take the time to help. But his kindness of heart and friendly demeanor put us both at ease and saved us both some extra work.


So why even share this?

Well, here’s why. We all have an opportunity to talk to people every single day. We have an opportunity to face problems and solve them.

Oh, most of us do not work at a bank. But we work, volunteer, or serve somewhere. And, if we live with someone else, we have these opportunities at home every single day.

How do we treat the people around us? How do we help them solve their problems?

Are we filled with a lot of complaining and frustration and unkind words? Or do we choose joy and kindness and unselfishness when someone reaches out for help?

I’ll be the first to confess that if you were a little mouse in my house watching when my husband comes in asking for help while I’m busy doing something, you would notice that I would not be a model responder. Oh, if I don’t have my own agenda at the time, I can be quite kind and helpful. But if I am in the middle of something… well, I am still working on that.

Today, when the unexpected crops up, let’s try to be kind and pleasant. Let’s conduct ourselves with integrity. Let’s be without bias, having a good attitude and a joyful spirit, no matter who the Lord puts in our path. And let’s be proactive in helping others, rather than selfishly saying to ourselves that it’s “not our problem”. Most importantly, let’s bring the love, grace, forgiveness, and mercy for others that Jesus has shown us.

We won’t do this perfectly, of course, but let’s keep trying. And in so doing, we will be like Jesus, showing a skeptical world that Christ absolutely does makes a difference.

The Allure of a Lie

There is one particular thing that I’ve encountered over and over again as I seek God through His Word and compare what I see in the world to what I read in the Bible.

And that being: An unwillingness of certain people to even have a thoughtful discussion.

So many people toss out something you’ve studied at length with a quick word given with ridicule. In fact, “study” has become a word that is viewed with disdain in a lot of ways. Particularly if it comes to the Bible and comparing what it says, both for our lives today and for what it says regarding the future, to the things we are encountering in the world around us—particular the world that calls itself “Christian” or “evangelical”.

A pastor by the name of David Nelson (1793-1844) wrote a book back in the early 1800s that addresses this unwillingness to study for oneself:

We do suppose that of all the scoffers who were to come in the last day and who were to be wilfully ignorant, there is scarce, one but would be willing to receive historic knowledge, at least, provided an angel could just grasp it in his hand, and throw it into his brain, without any exertion on his part. But the toil of research he never encounters. He may snatch at some plausible objection to truth, as he hears it repeated: but to impartial investigation he is an utter stranger.

As Pastor Nelson implies, we do find that people who are unwilling to study for themselves, are, however, eager to grab on to and repeat a lie that promotes what they want to believe.

I say “they”. But, honestly, we can all be in danger of this, including myself. It is so much easier and alluring to believe an appealing lie than to face an unpleasant truth.

David Nelson goes on to say this about the one who would prefer to believe a lie—

still it is true, that one small cunningly devised falsehood will influence him further than one hundred plain and forcible arguments in favour of Revelation.

It is true, isn’t it? A cleverly devised falsehood will be most influential in the one who does not love the truth, and a mountain of Bible verses, facts, or documentation given as proof that his belief is not true will not change the mind of one who does not love the truth.

I’ve been thinking a lot about 2 Thessalonians 2:10-12 over thee past few months, in regards to this:

And with all deceivableness of unrighteousness in them that perish; because they received not the love of the truth, that they might be saved. And for this cause God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie: That they all might be damned who believed not the truth, but had pleasure in unrighteousness.

This is speaking specifically to the day when the world will fall for the deception of the antichrist. But there is a lesson for us all in these verses: If we do not love the truth, we will be vulnerable to deception.

A genuine love for truth is the only thing that will protect us.

And this genuine love for truth will only be developed in the one who, by the power of the Holy Spirit, takes the time to pray and study the Bible. Not just read it, but study it.

Horatius Bonar has the best wisdom about our own personal study of God’s Word—

The Word must be studied in all its fullness. Over its whole length and breadth we must spread ourselves. Above all theologies, creeds, catechisms, books and hymns, the Word must be meditated on, that we may grow in the knowledge of all its parts, and in assimilation to its models.

Our souls must be steeped in it, not in certain favourite parts of it, but in the whole. We must know it, not from the report of others, but from our own experience and vision, else will our life be but an imitation, our religion second-hand, and therefore second-rate.

Another cannot breathe the air for us, nor eat for us, nor drink for us. We must do these for ourselves. So no one can do our religion for us, nor infuse into us the life of truth which he may possess. These are not things of proxy or merchandise, or human impartation. Out of the Book of God and by the Spirit of God must each one of us be taught, else we learn in vain. Hence the exceeding danger of human influence or authority.

Just like another cannot breathe the air for us, nor eat for us, nor drink for us, so no one can do our religion for us nor infuse into us the life of truth.

Oh, how many Christians rely on others for their growth? I used to do this myself, to be honest. I’ve shared that here often. I feel like my Christian life was status quo and without vigor until I picked up God’s Word for myself and began to study it on a regular basis.

I am a testimony of its power working to steadfastly transform an undeserved, sinful woman into the image of Christ, little by little.

This doesn’t mean we won’t continue to have blind spots that keep us from seeing ourselves as we really are. It doesn’t mean we will be perfect or that we will never fight sin or worldliness again.

What it does mean is that God, through our daily study of His Word and time spent in prayer, will open our blind eyes and then enable us to fight against the sin and worldliness that He has revealed to us. That’s it. All glory to God.

I want to be careful here. I have not “arrived”, by any stretch of the imagination (just ask my family!!) I am serious when I say any change in me is by God’s grace. But the Word is changing me. And it will do the same for you.

But it is only through our daily study of God’s Word that we will be filled with a love for the truth and be transformed into the image of Christ.

And this can only happen if we are willing to see ourselves as we really are. It can only happen if we are willing to see the people we love, the people we struggle to love, the world, and all that is happening in the world around us as they really are.

If we hold tightly to a lie—to our own reality that doesn’t represent truth—well, then, we will never change. And we will never be all that we can be for God’s Kingdom.

Oh, to be believers that love God’s Word—all of it in its entirety. Oh, to be believers that study the Bible, all of it—not just the parts that we like or find comforting. Oh, to be believers that will keep ourselves from deception and delusion because we dearly love the truth.

It’s Not One or the Other

I’ve had an interesting past week, which included visits to a surgery center and the hospital. As I reflect on these visits, I realize they are a great analogy as to how we are to approach the “love vs truth” dichotomy we find in Christianity today.

A nurse or doctor who is loving and kind is worthless if they won’t do the hard stuff. If they won’t give us the medicine that we need because it will make us “feel bad”, they can be as nice as can be but we will understand their complete incompetence, won’t we?

As we grow sicker and sicker—or even lose our life—their “love” will mean nothing. In fact, we will recognize that it wasn’t love at all that drove their actions, but rather a self-love that made them want to avoid our “bad feelings”.

On the other hand, a nurse who is mean and gruff who gives us the right medicine, in spite of how it will make us “feel”, is certainly not the blessing they could be. They can do everything right, but if they do it with a frown on their face and a mean spirit…well, love is important, isn’t it?

Love and truth aren’t enemies. They are the greatest of friends.

I’ve noticed a really strange dichotomy in the recent years and I really want to encourage my readers to avoid it. It seems that many Christians are drawn only towards the “love and grace” posts, podcasts, sermons, and books. While another group is drawn only towards the “truth and discernment” posts, podcast, sermons, and books.

This ought not to be. As believers, we need to highly value both. I strive very hard to be balanced here because God has clearly shown in scripture that BOTH are important. I am well aware I don’t do this perfectly but I am trying.

If we step back and really think about it, we will recognize that there is no genuine love without truth.

Truth, no matter how it’s spoken, will save your life. To confirm the salvation of someone who has no fruit and zero interest in repentance or being more like Christ is not true love. No matter how that truth is spoken, if someone who has been deceived repents and believes on the name of Jesus Christ, they will receive eternal life.

But love does change everything. It makes [some] hearers much more willing to listen and plants many more seeds than a harsh, critical word. I write “some” in brackets because, at this juncture, we find many who have no interest in hearing the truth, no matter how lovingly it is said.

We are told that people will turn from the truth in the last days (2 Timothy 4:3-4). We are told there will be many false “Jesus”s in the last days and they will deceive many (Matthew 24:5). We are told that there will be perilous times in the last days with people following their lusts and calling it godliness (2 Timothy 3:1-9). And we are told that people will be deluded in the last days because they did not love the truth (2 Thessalonians 2:10-11).

No matter how close we are to the actual return of Christ, we are most definitely seeing these things the Bible warns us of. Christianity is getting more and more confusing every day because so many things are done in the “name of Jesus”.

But is it the real Jesus? When we compare this “Jesus” to scripture, we can see most definitely it is not our beloved Savior who died for us and calls us to forsake our sin and the world and follow Him.

The Bible is true or it isn’t. Our faith is either based on the Bible or it’s based on human philosophy and opinion.

We can’t just define Jesus to be the way we want Him to be and then call ourselves a “Christian”.

Honestly, I think many of us Christians thought we would be in jail by now, being persecuted for standing up for the true, biblical Jesus.

Instead, we find ourselves being persecuted and rejected by those who either profess a different Jesus or are deceived to think all of the “Jesus”s are the same person.

So let me go back to the beginning of this post. As genuine believers, who desire to follow Christ wholeheartedly, we need to understand that there is a very concerted effort to move the world towards a one world religion (which is exactly what scripture tells us will happen! The Bible is 100% true!)

This is something that can’t be done without taking the eyes of the people off of God’s Word. And so there has been a real effort to move the hearts and minds of Christians from the Bible and to, instead, value more highly human opinions and their own personal experiences.

As we live in the midst of this crazy, confusing migration of “Christians” from Bible-believing religion to mysticism (let’s call it what it is), we must be passionate about both truth and love. We cannot—we dare not—eliminate either one in this very dangerous time.

And by doing this, God will use us to plant seeds for His Kingdom. He is still working in the midst of the “Christian” chaos and He is still using His people here on earth. We don’t want to be deceived into unbiblical thinking or a wrong focus, lest we be rendered ineffective. We don’t have to choose one or the other because, as believers, we must choose BOTH, just as Jesus shows us so perfectly in scripture.

We won’t change the world, but one day at a time, we can make a difference in the lives we touch. May we be courageous enough to speak the hard truths of scripture with love and grace. May we love others well and stand boldly in the swelling tide of apostasy.

God’s Way of Holiness

Sometimes old books by godly men and women can take me a while to get through. Yes, sometimes it can be because of the old style of language, but, more often than not, language isn’t the issue. Instead I find such profound and convicting thoughts that I can only reflect on a few pages at a time.

Such is the case with a book called God’s Way of Holiness, written by Horatius Bonar. His life spans much of the 1800s (1808-1889) and he was a Scottish pastor, as well as being both author and hymn writer.

I thought today I would share just a few portions of this book, as I think you will be much edified by them.


And might I share a brief word about the books we choose to read before we go on? I used to really be drawn to shallow, popular books. The ones that everyone is reading or are listed as bestsellers. I also wanted to read easy books—the ones that are both easy to read and pleasant to hear or provide an escape from life. Not that these are always wrong, in and of themselves. But there’s so much more out there.

Somewhere along the way, God used a variety of different circumstances and a few people to challenge my thinking on what I read. I am particularly grateful for one woman, who, many years ago now, encouraged me to go beyond bestsellers and fiction and find real meat to put into my mind.

And so I did. Not that I only read authors like Horatius Bonar, Jeremiah Burroughs, JC Ryle, Thomas Brooks, or Richard Baxter. But I started to read them. Slowly but surely, I just read a page or two at a time and eventually get through the books.

I’ve learned a lot from these men (and so many others). I encourage you to seek out some of these old authors, as well. They give much needed perspective in these self-centered religious days and take us back to God-centered Christianity.

That’s my encouragement to you. Now for the quotes from Bonar’s book on Holiness.


This first section regards what the Bible teaches us about the believer and sin—

Love does not supersede Law, nor release us from obedience to it; it enables us to obey. Love does not make stealing or coveting, or any such breach of Law, no sin in a Christian, which would seem to be the meaning which some attach to this passage [Romans 7]; but it so penetrates and so constrains us, that, not reluctantly or through fear, but right joyfully, we act toward our neighbor in all things, great and small, as the Law bids us do. Yes, Christ “hath redeemed us from the curse of the law,” but certainly not from the Law itself; for that would be to redeem us from a divine rule and guide; it would be to redeem us from that which is “holy and just and good.”

And this—

Yet there are men who speak of Law as abrogated [done away with] to a believer, who look with no favor on those who listen to it but pity them as ill-taught, ill-informed men, who, if in Christ at all, are only Christians of the lowest grade, the least in the kingdom of heaven.

And this is said to be the proper result of a believed Gospel! This is called an essential part of higher Christianity; and is reckoned indispensable to the right appreciation of a saint’s standing before God. The realizing of it is a proof of true spirituality, and the denial of it an evidence of imperfect knowledge and a cramped theology!

We can find no such spirituality, no such Christianity in the Bible. This is license, not liberty; it is freedom to sin, not freedom from sin. It may be spiritual sentimentalism, but it is not spirituality. It is sickly religionism, which, while professing a higher standard than mere law, is departing from that healthy and authentic conformity to the will of God which results from the love and study of His statutes. It is framing a new and human standard, in supplement, if not in contradiction, of the old and the divine.


And, finally, I just want to share these profound thoughts about the Christian and how they present themselves to a dark and dying world—

Greater knowledge, lesser love! Higher doctrines, lower morals! Professing to be seated with Christ in heavenly places, yet walking in the flesh, as if proud of their elevation to the right hand of God! Speaking of the perfection of the new man in them, yet exhibiting some of the worst features of the old! Certainly, one who is “risen with Christ” ought to be like the Risen One. He will be expected to be meek and lowly, gentle and loving, simple and frank, kind and obliging, liberal and generous, not easily provoked or affronted, transparent and honest—not selfish, narrow, covetous, conceited, worldly, unwilling to be taught.

Scripture is wonderfully balanced in all its parts; let our study of it be the same, that we may be well-balanced men. [Emphasis mine] The study of the prophetic word must not supersede that of the Proverbs, nor must we search the latter merely to discover the traces of the “higher doctrines” which may be found in that book. We must not overlook the homely, and the little, and the common; we must stoop to the petty moralities, courtesies and honesties of tamer life, not neglecting those parts of Scripture— treating of these as vapid or obsolete—but bringing them to bear upon each step of our daily walk, and delighting in them as the wisdom of the God only wise.

There is a vitiated (impaired) literary taste, arising not so much from reading what is bad, as from exclusive study of one class of books, and these perhaps the more exciting. There is also a vitiated spiritual taste, not necessarily growing out of error or the study of unsound books, but arising from favouritism in the reading of Scripture, which shows itself both in the preference of certain parts to others, and in the propensity to search these others only for their references to certain favourite truths.

Let the whole soul be fed by the study of the whole Bible, that so there may be no irregularity nor inequality in the growth of its parts and powers. Let us beware of “itching” ears and eyes. True, we must not be “babes,” unable to relish strong meat, and “unskilful in the word of righteousness” (Heb 5:13). But we need to beware of the soarings of an ill-balanced theology and an ill-knit creed. True Christianity is healthy and robust, not soft, nor sickly, nor sentimental; yet, on the other hand, not hard, nor lean, nor ill-favoured, nor ungenial.

“Brethren, be not children in understanding: howbeit, in malice be ye children, but in understanding be men” (1Co 14:20).

We want not merely a high and full theology, but we want that theology acted out in life, embodied nobly in daily doings, without anything of what the world calls “cant” [hypocrisy] or “simper.”[coy; pretense] The higher the theology, the higher and the manlier should be the life resulting from it. It should give to the Christian character and bearing a divine erectness and simplicity; true dignity of demeanour, without pride, or stiffness, or coldness; true strength of will, without obstinacy, or caprice, or waywardness. The higher the doctrine is, the more ought it to bring us into contact with the mind of God, which is “the truth,” and with the will of God, which is “the law.” He who concludes that because he has reached the region of the “higher doctrines,” he may soar above the Law, or above creeds, or above churches, or above the petty details of common duty, would need to be on his guard against a blunted conscience, a self-made religion, and a wayward life.


I hope this was an encouragement to you today. This is generally not what you will hear on the radio or in podcasts. Many of you will never hear it from your pastor. But this is the historical understanding of Christianity. This is not new or unique to the authors and preachers that pre-date 1970.

I thank the Lord for godly men and women who expounded the scriptures throughout the years. May we broaden our perspectives by looking back into history, rather than limiting ourselves to this little bubble of self-centered Christianity we find ourselves living in and that is the basis for much of the fodder we are fed today.

A Look Back

The other day, while searching for something on Amazon Prime, a movie was suggested on the screen that we had watched years ago. We wouldn’t watch that movie today as God has so kindly been gradually convicting us of the things we set before our eyes since that time. There are many things I “used to watch” that I wouldn’t choose to watch today.

Sometimes I can find myself thinking even today, “oh, it probably wasn’t that bad” and turn something on for nostalgia’s sake. However, I almost always end up turning the movie or show off because I realize now that it simply doesn’t please the Lord. Sometimes it’s hard to turn something off. Mostly, I don’t miss my old entertainment but I need to be honest with you—sometimes it’s hard.

But when we saw that specific movie on the screen, my husband and I started talking about some friends that had encouraged us to watch it along with other things that were simply not beneficial to any believer. We had a period of time where we watched a lot of popular tv and movies and the reason for this was because of these friends, as we had mostly avoided it earlier in our lives.

When we started to drift apart from these friends, we were very, very sad. We had appreciated our friendship with them. However, we got used to life without them in it and moved on.

It wasn’t until we saw the movie pop up on the screen the other evening that we realized that God took something that was sad and hurtful to us, which certainly didn’t seem “good” to us at the time, and He used it to protect us and to move us away from something that was hurting us spiritually. We never really thought of that before.

And I have been thinking of two things to consider from this look back at our lives…

First, it’s a vivid reminder that God really does work all things for our good (Romans 8:28). But it doesn’t always feel good. And it doesn’t always seem good. And we might not know for years and years later of any good that came from it. Perhaps we may never find out. But we need to trust Him. We need to trust that God is good and that He will fulfill His promise: If we love Him, then all things will work for our good.

Second, it’s a convicting reminder to be the kind of friend that encourages and builds up our friends in the Lord, rather than the kind of friend that leads people towards worldliness and sin.

It’s not just about entertainment—although that is a sadly overlooked problem among those who profess Christ. It IS a big deal and it changes us, whether we believe it does or doesn’t.

I can’t even begin to express how much difference it made in my walk with God as I intentionally began to remove worldly entertainment filled with bad language, sexual immorality, violence, and vain humanistic philosophies (the most subtle of all! and found in even the most innocuous entertainment) from my life. Not that I ever watched, listened to, or read really bad stuff. We can always rationalize, can’t we?

Even today, I can still catch myself trying to rationalize. Thankfully, I am now at least aware that I need to really pay attention to what I am allowing in my mind. I really encourage you to do the same.

Entertainment of all kinds—what we watch, listen to, and read—is a big old open door for Satan to implant his philosophies and perspectives in our minds. It’s just so dangerous. NONE of us are so spiritually strong that we can withstand the barrage of wickedness that comes through entertainment. There will be some kind of collateral spiritual harm. There always is, whether we are willing to admit it to ourselves or not.

But, it’s not just entertainment. We can also, if we aren’t careful, lead people in things like gossip, anger, and grudges; in encouraging people in humanistic and psychological philosophies; we can be a stumbling block by drinking alcohol; we women can tempt a man to lust by wearing immodest, revealing clothing.

Another very common way we lead people towards the world is by only discussing the temporal things of this life—the news, work or career, sports, our children and their doings, fashion, celebrities, etc. There is nothing innately wrong with discussing these things but when God and His Word rarely, or never, come up in our conversations or when these things are not discussed in light of God and His Word, it shows something about where our hearts are and it leads people towards the world, rather than towards Christ.

There are a lot of ways we can lead people away from Christ instead of towards Him.

Honest self-examination is the first step to determining if we are helping God’s kingdom or hindering it.

Of course, none of us will help 100% of the time. That’s never the goal because it’s not even possible.

But may our lives, as a rule, lead people towards Christ. Jesus says we are His friends if we do what He commands (John 15:14). May we be shining examples of leading a life of submission and obedience to God and His Word, rather than leading a life of “doing just enough to get by”, while clinging to the world or our sin.


And so there are two things I’ve been reflecting upon as I have been thinking about those cherished friendships that simply…disappeared. I have no idea where those friends are today and how the Lord has led them in the area of entertainment. Perhaps He has led them on a similar journey.

One thing we can be sure of—the Lord will lovingly and faithfully lead anyone who seeks Him. One step at a time, He will conform us into His image and use all things for our good and His glory.

May we be faithfully examining ourselves and seeking to humbly obey Him as we take the path of growing in Christ.

Liberty to Love

Galatians 5 has always been a favorite chapter of mine. Paul has spent the preceding four chapters explaining that we can never be justified by the law and that Jesus Christ is enough. And then in chapter five, he starts off with—

Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.

We are to stand fast in the liberty that we are given through Christ. Paul then spends the rest of the book showing us what that looks like.

Does it mean we can immerse ourselves in worldliness and sinful behavior, knowing we are forgiven?

He answers this clearly in verse 13–

For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another.

Clearly the answer to that question is no. We are not saved so that we have the liberty to sin and embrace the world.

We are saved and given the liberty to love. To love and serve God. To love and serve one another.

Our new life in Christ has changed our WHY.

We don’t do the right things because we “have” to. We don’t do them to merit favor with God.

We do them because we have finally been given the liberty to love.

Most of us are very familiar with verses 22-23 of chapter 5, where we are given a list of the fruits of the Spirit. Can you remember what they are?

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.

But the next verse is probably not as familiar to us—

And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. (Vs 24)

Those that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its affections and lusts. This is a description of every believer. It should describe us. We have crucified (or are actively trying to crucify) our flesh.

Crucify— to subdue (conquer; bring into subjection; overcome; repress)

Flesh—our old man; our human nature

So, rather than fulfilling our desires for the world and to sin, we are to live with intention and be turning away from them. Crucifying them.

Crucify is such a strong word, isn’t it? We see Paul has used it earlier in this book, when he says in chapter 2:20–

I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.

So we aren’t crucifying our flesh for no purpose. As we crucify our flesh more and more, we make more and more room for Christ to live in us. As we live for Christ, we, through Him, love God and others.

This is reflected in our lives in all areas. It’s not just about “being nice” to people. It goes far deeper…it is reflected in how we love others when no one is watching—how we treat our spouses every day; how we respond when someone irritates us; it is reflected in how freely we forgive and the amount of grace we offer to others. It’s also reflected in how much we love God—shown clearly by what we put before our eyes on the tv, the Internet, or books (do we love Him enough to turn our eyes from the things He hates?) It is reflected in how we spend our money and time (do we consider His will as we make these decisions?) And it is reflected in how we respond when we face a trial, large or small (do we really trust Him?)

This topic is probably one of the most difficult things to navigate as a believer in our current culture. As soon as we raise the topic, cries of legalism rent the air.

But the liberty to love and then to live our lives in response to that love (for God and for others) is in direct opposition to legalism.

This verse has really been on my mind and so I thought I’d share what I’ve been thinking about. Hope it encourages you to also ponder our liberty to love and instills in you the same desire it has in me: To love God more and to love myself less. To turn from my fleshly desires and to fill the void with Christ.

May I seek God’s glory instead of my own. May I seek God’s approval rather than man’s. May I seek to submit and to obey God rather than to fulfill the desires and lusts of my flesh that insistently (and sometimes so very LOUDLY) call out to me each and every day.

We will never do this perfectly, but, by His grace, we will do it more and more with each passing day.

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