Family – Page 14 – Growing 4 Life

God’s Faithfulness in the Small Stuff

4 Comments / September 3, 2013 May 23, 2020

We climbed in the truck at 6:30am for the 9 1/2 hour drive to our daughter’s university. The atmosphere was full of nervousness and excitement and sadness, as she nervously anticipated starting a new life there and I sadly contemplated how quickly she had grown up. But the trip was uneventful–at least for the first hour or two.

About a half hour in, my husband’s tooth started bothering him. He had mentioned having a toothache the night before, hoping it wouldn’t bother him over the weekend. Well, it did not take long for him to realize that it was going to bother him A LOT over the weekend. And so I began to use my iPad (how did I survive without that thing??) to find dentists who take emergency cases located in the vicinity of our destination.

I was just ready to start calling, when I looked over to see Eric in agony. “I really don’t think I can make it that far.” And thus began a crazy half hour of phone calls, figuring out where in the world we could go to relieve him of his pain as soon as possible and not lose too much time in the process.

After checking some reviews, I ended up calling a dental office in a town about 30 minutes from where we were. They would gladly see him, but could not get him in until 12:30 pm. It was only 10:30am. Oh, well. Eric was in severe pain by this time and we didn’t seem to have much of a choice. We plugged the address into the GPS and headed that direction.

Upon arriving at the dentist’s office, we found ourselves very pleasantly surprised! We were ushered into a small room to fill out paperwork in comfort. While there, the patient coordinator (an employee hired for the specific purpose of making patients and their families comfortable?!) handed us a free water bottle filled with chocolate candy. They treated us like royalty, quickly getting Eric in to see a dentist by 11:30am. While he was being seen, the patient coordinator, a petite middle-aged woman with a sweet demeanor, offered us drinks and homemade brownie bites. And so, while Eric was sitting in the dentist’s chair in misery, the girls and I were sitting on leather furniture, sipping coffee and gatorade, eating brownie bites and chocolate, and watching the fish in the two huge tanks they had in their office. It was quite the experience and totally unexpected. And, to top it off, they only charged us $50! We have no dental insurance so that was such a blessing.

The dentist prescribed an antibiotic and some pain killers to help with the infected tooth and so, after our adventure at the dentist, we made a stop at Target for the prescriptions, where we ate lunch simply out of the desire to save time. We were on the road again by about 12:30pm –the time of the original appointment.

It was disappointing to lose so much time, but God was so faithful in leading us to this particular dental office!

As we continued on our way, we were relieved to have that behind us. But an hour or two later, we ran into another problem. I was in my own little world, just looking out the window at the beautiful mountain scenery, when, all of a sudden, Eric’s serious voice told me to “turn off the music.”

I glanced at him and knew immediately that something was wrong. He started making his way over to the side of the road because the truck had completely lost power. He jumped out and lifted the hood of the truck. Now this always makes me nervous. I have heard of men being killed when looking at their vehicles parked along the road because of inattentive drivers. I hate when any of my family members are out of a vehicle alongside a major highway. I asked the Lord to protect him as he worked to fix the problem. I breathed a big sigh of relief when he climbed back into the truck. Not only was he safe, but he had fixed the problem (as he so often can–he is sort of amazing that way…)

On we went, on our way. It did happen once more, but this time he could hop out quickly and do what he knew to do, so it wasn’t quite as scary. Thankfully, after that, it did not happen again (until the way home–but that is another story…)

Again, God showed His faithfulness to us.

As we moved closer to our destination, we ran into more and more Labor Day traffic. We were delayed by at least four official accidents, but we mostly never could figure out why the traffic was crawling along at a snail’s pace, to free up, to slow down again. It was so strange.

Until it was all said and done, we lost at least two hours due to traffic, making our total trip time (including the “dental” delay) fourteen very long hours.

As we moved closer to the college, we planned to park our truck and 5th wheel in a huge parking lot near the girls’ dorms but across a highway. The question that still needed to be answered was: how do we get all of her stuff to the dorm?

God was faithful yet again! Two families we know from home pulled up shortly after we arrived (texting had told them of our arrival time) and one family piled all of the stuff in their large van and went with Eric to the dorm and the other family took my daughter and me over to the building where she could register.

I cannot tell you the warm feeling I felt upon arriving at a strange place at night time and seeing friendly faces ready to help however necessary.

That day showed us that God is faithful even in the midst of great frustration that is very temporal in nature. Sometimes, seeing Him in the small stuff can really help us to trust Him with the really big issues that come up in life.

Yes, that was a rough trip down. It could have gone much better but we were vividly reminded that it could have gone much worse, as we passed all of those accidents along the way.

Yes, God was with us through the whole entire fourteen long hours–even when things weren’t going quite the way we wanted them to– because He is faithful!

And sometimes in life we find that we are the one in the accident or the one with the broken-down vehicle that’s sitting alongside the road. I have been there and done both. But even then God has proved His faithfulness.

Nothing can happen to us without God’s knowledge. Nothing can happen to us that will remove us from His care. And so we can trust our Heavenly Father as we ride the roller coaster of life because…

He is faithful!

Are You Pregnant?

2 Comments / August 29, 2013 May 20, 2016

Sometimes this American culture that we find ourselves in feels just a bit surreal to me. Yes, we are in a culture where celebrities gyrate in obscene ways on our TV screens and the general population, which includes more than a few Christians, feels comfortable watching it. Yes, we are in a culture where our college kids are thrown together into co-ed dorms to romp and play for four years (of course, I know there are moral kids in co-ed dorms who do not do this but just the fact that it is allowed is just so wrong). Yes, we are in a culture where college professors hold seminars on sexual activities I wouldn’t even dare write about here. And yes, we are in a culture that praises–maybe even worships–sexual freedom and touts abortion as the answer to any unwanted consequences of that freedom. The whole thing makes me just a little sick to my stomach.

How can this be?

But it is. So what now? How do we respond to this crazy, sexually saturated culture?

Well, for starters, we have to be different. And if we are, we will definitely be noticed, and oftentimes, not even believed.

I was reminded of this, once again, when I went to the doctor with one of my daughters. The doctor came in and asked all of the proverbial questions. Do you smoke? No. Do you drink? No Do you use illicit drugs? No. Are you pregnant? No.

Are you sure? Have you been tested?

My daughter looked at her, speechless, and then looked at me. I piped up. NO, she hasn’t had sex. She can’t be pregnant.

The doctor then stated very matter-of-factly that many young girls lie about this in front of their parents, which I am sure is very true. This type of conversation was not new to me. I have had it before with doctors and I am sure I will have it again.

“No, I am not interested in Gardisil for my daughter because she is not sexually active.”

“Well, I know that is what you would like to believe, but…”

“Actually, I trust her.”

Usually after this conversation–and I’ve had this same conversation with the same doctor three times–the doctor (whom we like very much) kind of sighs and moves on to the next topic. I know that he does not have the same faith in my daughters that I have. But then, he also does not have the same faith in the one and only true God that my daughters and I have, either. Of course he is skeptical.

Now, I know how easy it is for kids to make mistakes in this area of sex and it does happen. And if it would happen to one of my kids, I would continue to love and support them, anyway. But I also know that my kids have committed to remain pure before marriage. But if you say this to any health professional they look at you like you (and your kids) have two heads and then treat you as if you just lied to them. My kids also experience this in the work world. I am sure your young people have had the same experiences if they have stood for what is right in this area. Many are the Christian boys and girls who are ridiculed because they have chosen to wait to have sex until they are married, while their peers share their “fascinating” sexual experiences with one another.

Can I just go on record saying it is possible to wait for sex until you are married? I know because I have done it. I don’t say this in a self-righteous kind of way but in a To God Be the Glory kind of way. And, yes, I stayed pure 25 years ago but there are many who follow through on this commitment in this present, treacherous age–young people who love the Lord and each other more than they love themselves.

I would also like to go on record saying that I have never, ever been sorry for waiting. I have only one body to give and I have always been very thankful that I waited to give that body to the love of my life, my husband.

Why do we treat teenagers and twenty-somethings like they have impulses they cannot control? I just don’t get it. But I digress.

I can’t help but wonder if those boys and girls who stand against the strong tide of sexual impurity aren’t admired and envied for their perseverance? Oh, it will rarely be said, but deep down inside there are many who can only wish they had waited, while they pick up the broken pieces of their hearts and lives.

The point–the whole point– is that, as believers, we are called to be holy, which in its very essence, makes us very different from those around us. And this particular topic–the biblical view of sex– goes against the flow in this current culture big-time. As believers, we should stand for godly marriage, waiting for sex until marriage, modest dress, and sexual purity in the movies we watch, the books we read, and the music we listen to.

And while we work to remain pure ourselves, we need to encourage others on towards purity and continue to love even when there are mistakes. We won’t make any difference in the world at all if we stay in our own little worlds pointing fingers at everyone. This world needs to hear that the life God calls us to as believers is about love and grace and holiness and blessing.

This culture is absolutely sex-crazy. Unless you move to a remote cabin in the woods somewhere, you can’t escape it. It is a strange land we find ourselves in. But we need to keep our eyes on the Lord and show that there is a different–a better–way to live. We need to show that not only is it possible to be sexually pure, but it is a blessing! We don’t have to be like the world. In fact, it is quite imperative that we are not like the world. And when we stand strong in this area of sexual purity, we will shine like a brilliant lighthouse in the midst of a very stormy sea.

Wednesday Wisdom: A Well in the Wilderness

2 Comments / August 28, 2013 August 28, 2013

I received a bit of bad news regarding my health last week. Oh, it could have been much worse, but it was certainly discouraging to say the least. As I have been processing the ramifications of the news, I shared my discouragement with my sister-in-law. She sent me this. It is written by Susannah Spurgeon, wife of the famous C.H. Spurgeon. After doing a little investigating, I found out that Susannah became an invalid around the age of 33. This is an amazing testimony of faith. May we all have this attitude in the midst of trials.

“It shall not seem hard unto thee.”—Deut. xv. 18.

DEAR LORD, I have this morning lighted upon one of the secret springs of sweet waters; an ancient, hidden well in the wilderness, which Thy love, as it were, kept covered up and concealed, till my great need moved Thee to open my eyes to discover it. How precious has Thy thought been to me, Oh Lord! How strengthening and refreshing are these “cold waters to a thirsty soul,” which Thou hast thus made to break forth in a strange place! For I thought I was suffering a hard thing, Lord, in the dealings and discipline which Thou hast seen necessary for me; and, though Thy grace kept me from openly murmuring and complaining, my inner self constantly cried out, “This is hard, Lord, this is very hard.”

But now Thou sayest, “No, My child, it must not even seem hard unto thee. Thy trust in Me should be so perfect, thy faith in My love so strong, thy obedience to My will so complete, that nothing should seem grievous which I appoint, no trial that I send should affright or overwhelm thee. Have I not always been to thee ‘a very present help in trouble’? “Lord, my heart says, “Amen!” to Thy gracious words, and then trusts Thee to work all this loving obedience in me by Thine own mighty power.

“IT shall not seem hard unto thee.” The peculiar trial through which I may now be passing, is the very “it” which must not seem hard to me. God’s bow is never drawn at a venture; He makes no mistakes, either in telling the number of the stars, or in meting out to me the griefs which shall teach me to glorify Him. And, dear reader, if you would find comfort from the words which so comforted me, you must look upon your present trouble, whatever it may be, and say, “Lord, this shall not seem hard to me, for I have received so much bounty and blessing from Thee, I have known so much of Thy pity and pardoning love, that I dare not mistrust Thee, or question for a moment the Divine wisdom of Thy dealings with me.” Ah! our eyes are so dimmed by earth’s fogs and shadows that we cannot see clearly enough to distinguish good from evil and if left to ourselves, might embrace a curse rather than a blessing. Poor purblind mortals that we are, it is well for us that our Master should choose our trials for us, even though to our imperfect vision He seems sometimes to have appointed a hard thing.

III that God blesses turns to good,

While unblest good is ill,

And all is right that seems most wrong,

If it be His sweet will.”

Yes, it is in absolute and loving surrender to the will of the Lord that the secret of true rest and peace is found. This is the alchemy which turns earth’s sorrows into Heaven’s blessings; here is the antidote to every sting, the cure-all of each care, the unfailing remedy for all disquietude. Dear Lord, if I am Thy child, trusting, loving, obeying Thee, how can Thy will for me seem “hard”? Nay, rather, I should joyfully meet and welcome it, well knowing that Thy love to me could only send a message of peace, however dark might be the envelope which enwrapped it.

This comfort cannot apply to troubles which we make for ourselves, and which we sometimes glorify into spiritual hardships, when they are really selfish sins; these are not God’s will for us, but our own perverse way, and they bring nothing better than bitterness and tears. But a God-given burden or sorrow, carried out into the sunshine of His love, and laid at His blessed feet, immediately loses all its “hardness”, and is transformed into a blessing, for which our soul praises the Lord with tender thanksgiving.

“It shall not seem hard unto thee.” Ah! dear Master, it must grievously pain Thy loving heart when we, Thine own redeemed ones, think any of Thy dealings with us harsh or stern. Thou hast loved us from everlasting, Thou didst not spare Thine own Son when a ransom was required for our souls, Thou hast led us, and fed us, and cared for us all our life long; can we be so wicked and ungrateful as to deem anything “hard” which Thy wisdom and love appoint?

“It shall not seem hard unto thee” Since this precious text rippled from the pages of God’s Word, like “a brook by the way,” I have been drinking of its waters with great joy! and when a trouble, great or small, oppresses my soul, and causes my heart to faint within me, I take another draught from this sweet spring, and soon am ready to say, ” ‘Tis no longer hard, Lord, for ‘I am filled with comfort, I am exceeding joyful in all our tribulation.’ ”

Subtle Changes

6 Comments / August 22, 2013 August 22, 2013

Yesterday was the first day of school. It wasn’t just any first day of school around here. It was the first year that A) only one of my four children is actually going to school and B) The child in school started high school.

The funny thing is that I remember calculating the years of school when my kids were little, counting on my fingers and figuring out the year each child would graduate from high school and realizing that our baby would be in high school for four years by herself. But, at that time, this time seemed miles away, like a distant mountain far off on the horizon. But even the furthest mountain is reached by walking one step at a time.

And those steps have been walked, the days have been lived, and the time is here. I am having a hard time wrapping my brain around this–as most moms do, I guess. As I was thinking about this yesterday, I started wondering–

When did I stop keeping wet wipes in the car?

When did I stop asking for a kids’ menu?

When did I stop arranging life around naps?

When did I stop tucking my kids in bed?

As is often the case, I don’t remember the last times I did any of these things. It was just a gradual shift until one day it wasn’t a part of my life anymore.

Sometimes life changes suddenly and we feel overwhelmed and shipwrecked, but more often life changes subtly and imperceptibly–until one day you realize that you no longer have to buy diapers or get up at night. You don’t have to pack lunches or kiss boo-boos anymore. You no longer have to carpool or spend a fortune at the grocery store or wait up at night for the last child to be in for the night (Actually I am still doing all of the things in the last sentence for now and I find myself quite thankful for them as I write this post! So much is in our perspective, isn’t it??)

My youngest daughter is a little sad that she is so far behind our other three kids, who are now out of high school and pursuing their futures. But me? Well, I’m not sad at all. The funny thing is that we had actually planned to have a smaller gap between those last two, but God thought His timing was better and she ended up coming a year later than we planned. How thankful I am that God saw fit to give her to us and to wisely time it so that this time of life would be just a little easier on me.

Life is changing…always changing. Sometimes we can’t wait for the change and then it changes and we realize just how much we didn’t really want it to change. My husband assures me that I will even miss this stage after it is over. I am sure he is right. As frustrating and full of adjustments as it is, I will probably miss it when it’s gone.

I’d like to say that I have been able to appreciate every moment of motherhood but I haven’t. And, being human, I can’t. But I have enjoyed and continue to enjoy precious moments with my children full of fun and laughter and good conversations. We have had lots of good times.

Perhaps one of the keys to contentment is to enjoy the good times that we are in right now and not to take the hard times too seriously. After all, when it is all over, we mostly remember the good times, don’t we?

I don’t have any serious spiritual lesson for today. Today I am just a mother, aching just a bit over the loss of her life as she has known it and seeing much more change up ahead, trying to figure what it all will mean for my life and how to deal with it.

Of course, it is not helping that my other “baby” is headed to college next week. *sigh* While I do find great joy in watching my kids discover God’s will for their lives, it is bittersweet. How well I remember those exciting days of growing up and finding my own life but I guess I never did realize what it must have meant for my own mother.

Who knew there would be so much emotion attached to this time of life?

Wednesday Wisdom: The Beauty of Marriage

Leave a Comment / August 21, 2013 August 21, 2013

It seems appropriate to take a moment and focus on marriage today, as my husband and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary yesterday. It feels like it was just last week that we were two excited kids getting started on our life together…and yet it feels like a lifetime ago. During those years we have grown and changed and evolved into two very different people than when we started. It really is a miracle that two people can love each other and live together in peace (most of the time!) for so long. We are both sinners who still struggle against selfishness and pride on a very frequent basis. Unfortunately, “sinners” do not magically become “non-sinners” the day they say “I do”. Both Eric and I will attest that it takes a lot of love, forgiveness, humility, and communication to make our marriage enjoyable. Most of all, the success of our marriage depends on taking every issue we face back to God and His Word, always using it as our guide.

But this is Wednesday Wisdom, which means I bring someone else’s writing to you instead of my own. And so I would like to share a paragraph I found in a book entitled What’s It Like to Be Married to Me? I thought it summed up, quite nicely, the beauty of marriage–

Emotional intimacy is being “naked and unashamed.” To be fully known; my darkest thoughts, hateful words, biggest disappointments, and greatest fears—and yet be fully loved and accepted. To know that I have given my heart to my husband, that he takes seriously the role of protector; that he is careful with my heart. And I am careful with his heart. It is knowing him so well and having such a deep understanding of him that I can trust him beyond circumstances. It is being so entwined with one another, yet so different, that we are like one plant putting off two very different blooms.

Dillow, Linda (2011-02-01). What’s It Like to Be Married to Me?: And Other Dangerous Questions (p.89-90). David C Cook. Kindle Edition.

The Music of My Life

4 Comments / August 12, 2013 August 12, 2013

Another morning. I headed to the kitchen to turn on the Keurig machine and waited for the water to heat up, my tired eyes on the display, watching for the wonderful words: Ready to Brew. When it was ready, I put my cup underneath the machine and hit start, watching the hot brew fill the cup. I pulled the half and half from the fridge and poured it into the cup to make it the perfect caramel color, as its delicious aroma wafted around me.

I took the fresh cup of coffee and my devotional materials to one of my very favorite places in the whole world–a boring swing complete with metal foot stool and faded pillow on our front porch. Nothing fancy but a great place to think. I settled down, cup in hand, devotional materials ready. I took a moment to thank the Lord for His many blessings in my life as I looked around me and sighed with contentment in the quietness.

Just at that moment, the noises of our landscaping business, situated next to our house, became more noticeable. The quiet was broken and the sounds I hear almost every morning began. Back-up beeping lights of the trucks as their drivers prepare to start their day. Noisy Skid-loaders loading mulch and topsoil and sand. Voices in earnest conversation. Laughter ringing out, as the guys joke around with one another. Most noticeably is the voice of my husband, telling one guy where to go and another guy what to do, sharing anecdotes about life and projects and customers as he does so. Loud pick-up trucks, spiffed up sport cars, and modest sedans turn in our parking lot, holding men and women who are ready to begin a new day. Every now and again, a radio is blared at its loudest, as a truck waits for a trailer to be hooked or unhooked, breaking the peaceful silence I treasure so dearly.

I am not one who can easily ignore sounds and so I found myself growing very frustrated as I tried to concentrate on the Lord, only to be constantly distracted.

And then the Lord spoke to me–

Be Thankful.

Be thankful for what? And then I realized–

This is the music of my life.

This is what enables our family to eat and to be clothed and to enjoy the many blessings we have.

These sounds represent a vibrant, active company.

These sounds represent a husband who is diligent and works hard.

My thoughts turned to other sounds that can be so irritating —

Kids arguing, a child’s constant singing, children growing silly and giggling until they can’t stop.

But these sounds represent normal, healthy children.

A car pulling in the driveway after midnight.

But this sound represents a child safely home.

A loud dishwasher or other appliance.

But these sounds represent pure luxury–a gift that has been given to only precious few women throughout history.

The ringing phone.

But this sound represents someone that cares (unless it is a telemarketer, which, in that case it is annoying and there is no getting around it!)

How quickly we lose site of the blessings when we view these sounds as irritating. But as I sat there on the front porch, I recognized the sounds for what they were–the gracious hand of God providing blessings in my life. These sounds are the music of my life.

Spilling the Oil

Leave a Comment / August 8, 2013 August 8, 2013

I searched the mail for the package I was awaiting. Yes, there it was! I grabbed it in anticipation. I had ordered some peppermint essential oil, a key ingredient for a lot of the homemade cleaning supplies and personal care items I make. I carefully lifted the well-wrapped container from the brown box. As I tried to remove the bubble wrap surrounding the container it slipped from my hands. I watched it fall to the floor. It broke into many pieces and the precious oil spilled all over my kitchen floor.

Yes, I could buy another bottle (and I did), but it was still annoying and also a waste of money.

You see, when that peppermint oil left my hand and broke on the floor, I was never going to get that bottle back. I could order another bottle, but I’d never get that particular bottle back.

It reminds me of the years we have with our children. I think I am especially thinking about that as I see my kids growing into young adults who are ready to begin their own lives. Suddenly, I am here at this place and I realize that those precious years are over, spilled out and surrounding me with thousands of incredible memories, daunting failures, and even some wonderful triumphs.

It can haunt me if I think on it too much. Sometimes the kids would ask me to play a game with them or I’d know that I should discipline one of them for something and I’d put it off, thinking to myself there would always be tomorrow. But then one day there is no longer any tomorrow. They have grown up and the relationship has changed.

But it isn’t just in the area of children that this is tempting. Perhaps it is who we were before we became a believer that we regret. Or maybe it’s a bad financial decision or a tragedy that we didn’t see coming and just can’t get over. Maybe it’s a broken relationship that we can’t get past, still a spilled mess that we can’t seem to garner the energy to clean up. It may even be the “good old days” that keep us from living fully in the now. We just miss what was and can’t seem to get ourselves back to the future.

I could have stood there and mourned that lost bottle for hours. But what good would that have done? Staring at the strong-smelling contents spreading across my floor wouldn’t have made any difference in the world, except to encourage me in my sadness and regret.

But in getting a towel and wiping it up, leaving the pleasant peppermint aroma behind as a reminder, and then heading to the computer to order another one, I made a purposeful decision to move on from that mistake and start again.

I guess that is how it is with life, too. No, I can’t go back and change my actions with my small children, but I can embrace these moments I have now. After all, that is all we are really guaranteed, isn’t it? We can’t change the decisions, the circumstances, and the hearts of others. So, instead, we need to wipe up the mess, leaving the pleasant aroma of memories behind so that we don’t forget, and move on.

Looking back to the past can be very tempting. And a moment or two of nostalgia is okay, but it never does anyone any good to stay there for long, does it?

While we should appreciate our pasts and the events and people who have shaped us, we need to keep our faces turned forward and grab hold of what the Lord has for us next.

A Call to Fathers

8 Comments / August 1, 2013 June 14, 2014

When a father provides for a child’s material needs, he is considered a decent father.

When that same father provides sound teaching in the ways of the world, such as how to handle money, hold down a job, and control one’s temper, he is considered a great father.

But when a father provides godly counsel using scripture, along with heartfelt prayers to God for the souls of his children (and, later, grandchildren)–is there even a word to describe that?

It reminds of those credit card commercials that always show the price tags of items and vacations and then, at the very end, show a memorable moment followed by the word “Priceless”.

You cannot put a price on a father who cares about the spiritual welfare of his children.

I was reminded of this when I received a phone call from my father yesterday. He knows that I am bearing a burden that is feeling pretty heavy. He called to let me know he loves me and to encourage me. He then went on to give me some wise counsel from scripture, first making sure that I wanted this counsel (yes, please!)

His words encouraged me to look at the situation from a little different perspective. He helped me to see what is perhaps the root of the problem. But, most importantly, he let me know that he is praying for me and the parties involved and that he and Mom are available for me, should I need them in any way.

Can I express to you the feelings of comfort and blessing that this call provided to even a grown daughter with almost-grown kids of her own? To know that my father cares deeply about me and my family and is pointing us to God and His Word is a great encouragement and a balm to my soul.

I can’t speak from the perspective of being a father because I am not one. I can only speak from the perspective of being a daughter. But I have a few questions for you fathers–

Do you have conversations about the stuff that matters with your kids?

Do you pray regularly for your children and their walks with God, asking Him to guide and protect them?

Do you know the principles of God’s Word, so that you can provide your kids with godly counsel?

You see, it isn’t enough to make sure your kids have enough to eat and a roof over their heads. And it isn’t enough to play ball and board games and even dolls. These things are good things and it is a part of being a good father.

But many, many kids’ hearts get lost even with good fathers because Dad never provided the spiritual component so desperately needed in the family.

And so kids grow up and instead of a godly role model to turn to as they go through difficult times, they have a nice guy whom they love and respect but would never turn to for their big questions and tough problems.

May I suggest that perhaps the primary reason we are losing our kids’ souls is because of this?

“But I wouldn’t even know where to begin?” you may think.

Start when they are young. I would like to give you an example from the life of my husband to encourage you. From the time the kids were very small he was the one who had bedtime devotions with them. He would come home late and so very tired from his quest of starting a new business, but would make time for the spiritual well-being of his children. It showed our children that mommy wasn’t the only one who cared about their relationship with God. The kids had lots of good and helpful conversations in those bedtime hours with their father. Another great way to make this happen is over the dinner hour (be sure to have one–don’t let sports and other activities steal it away!) We spent many hours with our kids discussing our own problems and the problems of the world, always using God’s Word as our guide. Kids need to hear and participate in conversations like this with their dads.

And if your kids are grown (or almost grown), then might I suggest that you open up the door for good conversations by becoming vulnerable? Your kids want to know–need to know–that you have struggled, too. That you don’t have it all together. They need to hear of how God has been faithful to you through the years. They need to see you growing more like Christ. They need to know you on a personal level. This is scary, I know, but it is the only way to set the stage, so that when they are facing a spiritual battle or personal problem, they know you will be open to talk with them and probably have something worthy to say.

I think this is the only post I have ever written specifically for men. I know I can’t understand all you are going through.You have burdens we women can’t even imagine. Work stresses, the burden of caring for the physical needs of your family, and forever trying to meet your wife’s expectations. I know it is not easy. But amidst all that’s going on, I hope that you will consider my words.

I know that you love your child. But do you want to make the life of your child the best it can be? Then be a dad who knows the Word of God and be available to give them wise, godly counsel that comes from a heart filled with deep and caring love.

For very few things matter more than the souls of your children.

Trust is a Powerful Thing

1 Comment / July 8, 2013 July 8, 2013

Have you ever thought about just how powerful trust is? If we trust someone, we will —

1. Want to be like them.

2. Believe what they tell us about others.

3. Believe what they tell us about the world.

For example, think about someone you really trust and admire. If they told you something about someone, would you believe them? I had the “privilege” of hearing two sides of a personal confrontation a few months ago. Each side had their own personal interpretation on what had happened and were influencing people’s opinions of the other person by the tale they were telling to the people who trust them.

Or let’s think about our kids for a moment. We have such power to influence positively or negatively because of trust. If, as Christian parents, we love them enough to set boundaries, have the hard discussions, and live out our faith, we will build the trust that will make it so much easier for our children to follow the Lord. But if we are self-absorbed hypocrites, well, then there is little trust and our kids will probably walk away from the Lord.

How about pastors and teachers that we trust? If they tell us the entire world was created from a rock, we will give them credence, because we trust them to tell us the truth. Or perhaps they interpret a certain passage of scripture differently then we have ever heard– if we trust them, we will believe them. Or political leaders? If they tell us they will put more money in our pockets by lowering taxes, then we will…well, I guess that’s not such a good example, is it? Not a whole lot of trust when it comes to the government anymore.

My point is this: the more that others trust us, the more responsibility we have to honor that trust. We do this by —

1. Being extremely careful with our words. Words are so powerful, and even more so if people are actually listening to our words. The more people that listen, the more powerful our words become. I don’t want someone to form an opinion about someone else based on my experience with that person. Just because I didn’t have a good encounter with a particular person, doesn’t mean that everyone else won’t. And judging people on one encounter is never a good idea, anyway. It’s better to just keep our mouths shut about others. And if we are just natural “venters” then we should at least counter our words with something like this: “but I know I probably didn’t handle it right, too” or some other such phrase. (I would add here that I am talking about personal relationships and not about warnings regarding false teachers, which is something we are called to do in scripture Acts 20:29-32).

If people trust us, our words also can be used to sway them towards God or away from God. We can set a good example by speaking words of truth and faith and love and kindness or we can pull them away from God by our complaining and skeptical words.

2. Being extremely careful with whom we respect and trust as Christian leaders and pastors. If people trust us, then we want to make sure that we are being very careful with where we place our own trust so that we are directing them to godly men and women who know and follow the traditional interpretation of the Word of God (2 Thessalonians 2:15). I look for men and women who are humble and holy (Titus 1:5-9) and for one who has not fallen into heresy or capitulated to worldly compromise (James 1:27) Unfortunately, my list of respected Christian leaders grows smaller almost every day. I try to be very careful with the links (listed to the right) I recommend because of this. I don’t want to be responsible for directing anyone astray. In fact, last year, there was a link listed there of a ministry I did trust but when I became aware of some heresy in that ministry, I immediately removed it. Sometimes we don’t know about a certain ministry, but when we do find out, we need to carefully withdraw our support of that ministry.

3. Being extremely careful with our actions. Oh, this is a tricky one and I often feel the weight of it. You see, I know my kids (and probably others) are watching me to see what I am watching, reading, listening to, and wearing. If I make a choice to do or wear something that is on the line, then I will, in essence, be giving my approval of that thing. Even if, afterwards, I recognize that it was not a good decision the damage will have been done. Occasionally, I will watch a movie that may be questionable by myself first before allowing my kids to watch it but, more often than not, I just don’t watch it. In fact, the older I have gotten the more I lean towards just not wasting my time on something that includes things that offend my God. Life is just too short for that and the trust issue too great. I still do mess up sometimes, though, on this one.

Our actions, of course, also include things like flaring up in anger or gossiping to our friends or lying to our boss. People, and especially our kids, are watching us all the time. It is critical to do the right thing not only to please the Lord (which is the primary reason) but also because of the observant eyes of the ones who are looking to us as an example.

Trust is a mighty thing. If we have it, we need to be very careful with it. It can be lost in a moment by doing something stupid. And there is a constant struggle going on inside with the perpetual question: “Do I want my kids (or anyone else who trusts me) to be like me?” If I am honest, my answer is always no. I have such a long way to go in my walk with God. But I keep trying, knowing that people are watching and that I have a responsibility to be the most godly person I can be based on what I have learned about God and His Word so far.

Weary Warriors

31 Comments / July 1, 2013 May 23, 2017

Being a Christian soldier in this culture is exhausting. Everywhere you turn, Satan is attacking. The battle is being fought all around us, leaving us with little, if any, time to put down our battle gear and take a rest.

Sometimes the enemy’s deadly sword looks like a big, giant lollipop coming at you. It’s really only through serious study and discernment that we can pick up on the fact that it is a sword made to look like a lollipop.

Think with me for a moment about the book The Shack. It’s just a story, right? But it single-handedly changed how many Christians think about God. I read this quote recently and it really summed up why The Shack is a problem–

“Christian idolatry is betrayed in this telltale phrase: ‘I like to think of God as________________.’ I like to think of God as a loving Father–as a mother–as an artist–as forgiving–as an architect…But the problem is that such thoughts are often coupled with a denial of something else the Scriptures teach about God–for example, that He is Judge…[We] don’t like to think of Him as a judge, but as a loving Savior.”

That is exactly why I believe this book is dangerous. It is a very one-sided and incomplete view of who God is. And yet evangelical Christians, by the thousands, love this book.

And so if you stand up and say, “Hey, wait a minute! Something’s not right here!” we are labeled.

We are judgmental, critical, narrow-minded, ridiculous, unintelligent, among a variety of other names.

And we get tired. Exhausted, even.

We decide the hassle isn’t worth it and we shut up (exactly what our enemy wants, by the way).

But these kinds of subtle deceptions aren’t our only battlefield. No, standing for Truth even goes into the arena of entertainment, dress, and life where somehow in this crazy mixed-up world, we find ourselves being ostracized and looked down upon by Christians because we believe books that glamorize witchcraft and the occult are dangerous, R-rated movies inappropriate fodder for our minds, bikinis inappropriate clothing for our daughters, and gambling and drinking unacceptable ways to spend our God-given time and money.

Have you stopped recently and thought about how CRAZY that is??

Sometimes it feels quite surreal that this is what modern Christianity has become in the year 2013. This can’t possibly be reality, can it?

But this is not the Christianity I was taught as a girl and this is certainly not Christianity as defined in the Bible.

Here are a few things the Bible says —

I should not even look at evil (Psalm 101:3; 119:37)

Those who practice sorcery will be burned in the lake of fire (Revelation 21:8)

God hates sexual immorality, whether it’s in our life or on a screen (Colossians 3:5)

To not let filthiness, coarse jesting, and foolish talk be among us (Ephesians 5:4)

To be separate from the world (James 1:27)

I am to be modest (I Timothy 2:9)

That I am different if I am a believer (I Peter 1:14-16)

I am not sure when Satan made his inroad into the Church. Perhaps it was when marriage became less sacred and divorce more common, leading to a breakdown of the family. Perhaps it was when shallow, me-centered music became part of the worship service. Maybe it was when worship became more about “The Show” than about God and pastoring became more about entertaining than about feeding and caring for the flock. But, most likely, it was when the church was sold the lie that people will only be won for the Gospel if we become like them. And thus the word “relevance” pretty much destroyed any purity and separation that was left within the churches.

I don’t know when exactly it happened. And I guess it doesn’t really matter. What matters now is how we Christians respond to this madness.

Are we going to melt into the crowd and do what everybody else is doing? Or are we going to take a stand?

Are we going to fight for the spiritual health of our families? Or are we going to die on the alter of peer pressure?

Are we going to grow tired and weary and give up the battle? Or are we going to stay and fight in the strength of the Lord?

My husband and I are tired. So tired. It is especially wearying on the home front, where we have spent many years trying to explain from scripture why many of the popular movies, music, video games, and books are not glorifying to God, all while most of their friends are out having a good time doing all that we are encouraging our kids not to do. We feel so outnumbered and have even questioned our sanity on a number of occasions.

But whenever we take a moment to re-look at something or to question a stand, we end up back at the same place–God’s Word calls us to live holy, pure lives separate from the world. Period.

If we want to serve Him, we can’t ignore this command. We can’t get around it. We can’t push it under a box. We are soldiers in the Lord’s army and this is a big part of our duty.

And, so…here we are. Weary warriors but still fighting. Anyone else with us?