Faith – Page 14 – Growing 4 Life

The Problem With Christian Conservatives

Leave a Comment / August 24, 2015 August 24, 2015

Have you ever walked into a conservative church and felt overwhelmed by all the love?

Most likely not.

While some conservative churches are friendly, this would generally not be what we are known for.

I was listening to Todd Friel over at Wretched Radio the other day and he asked this question: What is our weakness, as conservatives? He suggested that one weakness is that most of us can be a tad bit rigid and aloof. Okay, so those were not his exact words but that was the idea.

As it is always good to examine ourselves, I have given his question and answer a good deal of thought. Do conservative churches and people tend to be more unfriendly than liberal or charismatic ones?

A little while ago, my husband and I had the opportunity to visit what we would call a conservative church. It wasn’t a typical conservative church but was quite large. They put on a well-executed service without a hitch. However, we walked into the church, sat through the whole service, and walked out of the church without one person saying hello. In fact, we weren’t even acknowledged. Okay, to be fair, one friendly lady did talk to us in the parking lot going into the service. But she provided the only spark of friendliness in our whole experience that morning.

We love our own church but were out of town that Sunday, so we were not church-shopping. But had we been, I doubt we would have given this one a second chance.

People want to be loved. When they walk into a church, they want to feel welcome. It is one of the reasons we are at the church we are at today. Of course, it wasn’t our top priority, but it was important to us. And so, when we walked into the church doors of our current church, the fact that we were welcomed by the people there definitely was a deciding factor to visit a second time.

On a brief side note, unbelievers visiting our churches really don’t care how we are dressed. The only reason three-piece suits and Sunday dresses have gotten such a bad rap is because of the judgmental attitudes that usually accompany them. Our clothing does not speak louder than our body language. Visitors feel welcomed by our bright smiles and warm friendliness. They couldn’t care less about what we are wearing.

And so, while it’s certainly not true that all conservative churches are unfriendly, I do think there may be some merit to considering this weakness. It does exist and it may be good to consider why it exists and then do our part to change it.

I have thought of seven reasons why we may not reach out to visitors in our churches and then follow each reason with a suggestion on how to change it–

1. We are self-absorbed. We become very wrapped up in our own little worlds and so when a visitor comes we don’t even see them. We aren’t trying to be unfriendly, but our kids need to be in Sunday School and then we have to find this committee member or that pastor to talk about something and we don’t even see visitors, much less stop and talk to them. Or some of us think we have enough friends. We don’t need anyone else in our lives so why bother making small talk? We are caught up in living for just ourselves and may not even realize it.

Solution: The solution here couldn’t be simpler. We need to lift our heads up and be aware of those around us. We need to step outside of our own world and look at the faces we see at church–not just the visitors but all of our church family. This Sunday, let’s offer at least one word of encouragement to someone who may look discouraged or reach our hand out to one person we have never met before.

2. We are prideful. We have become proud of the “wonderful, obedient Christian” we have become and lose sight of the fact that we were–and still are–great sinners. We turn our noses up at those who do not look like us or may not have reached our “level” of Christianity and, instead of radiating Christ’s love, we give cold stares and and haughty smiles.

Solution: We need to always remember that but for the grace of God, go I. Anything we are, anything we have become, any good we have accomplished is only because of God working through us for His glory. We need to stop thinking we are God’s gift to humanity and put on some humility. Pride is listed in the seven deadly sins (Proverbs 6:16-19) and yet this sin, in particular, seems to be an approved Christian sin. And, while it may be accepted by our church families, it is certainly not accepted by God.

3. We are afraid that we are going to be asked questions we can’t answer. Starting a conversation with a church visitor may mean we are asked questions about the Bible or where we stand on certain doctrines. While many of us have been taught the principles of scripture from a church pew for most of our lives, we have never delved into it ourselves. Or perhaps we have been studying the Bible but we aren’t having conversations with others about it because we are quite sure we would mess everything up if someone asked us a question about doctrine.

Solution: We need to start studying the Bible, if we aren’t already, and then practice having conversations about what we are learning. Let’s have conversations about God and His Word with our kids. And let’s discuss doctrine at the dinner table. The more familiar we become with the terms, the less frightening it becomes to discuss. Sincere Christians need to be studying the Word of God, so that we can be ready to give a defense or an explanation of the hope that is within us (I Peter 3:15).

4. We are afraid they will tell us they have been there before. This can be quite humiliating. It happened to me when I was just starting to attend the church I am at now. I saw a “new family” sitting in front of me and so I reached out in friendliness, only to be informed that they had been attending there for years. (I’ve since learned that there are many people who claim to have attended for years, but rarely show up– and so they really are visitors and need to be dealt with as such). But this scenario can be embarrassing and people do get a bit offended sometimes. We don’t like to risk it and so we say nothing.

Solution: Who cares? Does it really matter? Let’s just come up with some excuse– such as “Oh, I’m sorry, I’m fairly new here myself,” or “I am so bad at remembering faces,” or whatever but don’t let this fear keep you from reaching your hand out in a good solid handshake of greeting.

5. The patterns of our family or childhood denomination are rooted deep within us. If we grew up in a staid, uncommunicative family, it is probably almost painful to try to be friendly. There are also several denominations known for their lack of friendliness. If this is the culture we grew up in, it is quite hard to work our way past our discomfort in reaching out to a stranger.

Solution: The first step in this is recognizing that it is a problem. If this is our natural tendency, it can be hard to understand just how unfriendly we appear to others. A good first step in changing this is to very purposely offer smiles to others as we walk into the church doors. Perhaps we could talk to someone we know but don’t know well to grow a little more comfortable at making small talk. As with most anything else, the more we do it, the easier it becomes.

6. We are over fifty. I have noticed something about the older crowds in church. Since I am just shy of this crowd by mere months, I believe I have the right to say this: We believe we have the right to stop serving in our churches. We have paid our dues, done our duties, and now would like to just coast in to the finish line, thank you very much. What this means is that we come to church faithfully, but do not really engage with others or reach out to make others feel welcome.

Solution: If this describes us and we have decided to rest on our laurels, then it is high-time to realize that our work for God is never done. I know of no Bible verse that says that we can just stop serving God when we are older. Of course, some seniors do have a really valid reason for backing away from church ministry. Our bodies slow down and some of us have serious physical illnesses and limitations and so we can’t look around at others and judge them. But if we can walk into the church doors, then we can offer a warm smile and friendly hello to a visitor.

7. We equate warmth and overflowing love with the charismatic movement. Just as the charismatic movement made us afraid of the active work of the Holy Spirit in our lives, I believe it also made us afraid to love one another without reservation, because we equate it with this movement and –if we are honest–that scares us just a bit.

Solution: We need to remember that Jesus Christ showed great love to others. It is our responsibility and our great privilege to love like Jesus loved. In fact, Paul tells us that we will accomplish nothing without love (I Corinthians 13).

I am aware that you may not agree with everything I’ve written here. And that’s okay. I just hope that I gave you some food for thought today. Remember– we can never be satisfied with status quo because we want to be growing for our entire lives!

Keeping Secrets

Leave a Comment / August 17, 2015 August 17, 2015

I guess we all try to hide things once in awhile. Even me.

Now it is pretty rare that I try to hide anything from my husband. But a little while ago I did just that. I should have known better. I am the kind of person that if I do try to hide something, it will be found out. I really shouldn’t even try. But maybe that is a blessing in disguise.

Let me start from the beginning–

We were leaving for Texas the following day. My agenda was packed as I tried to think of all the things that needed to be done before an extended time away from home. My daughter had just gotten married and we were going to Texas to help them get settled into their new home. Understandably, my mind was going a million different directions. To top it off, it was a gorgeous day. Since my college days, days like that have always been perfect for loud, fun music. And so, as I ran errands, my radio was blaring (good music, of course!) and I was singing at the top of my lungs. I was bopping to the beat and speeding through a road in town when I happened to see flashing lights in my rear view mirror.

Those lights were for me. I knew it as soon as I saw them.

I pulled over immediately and, quickly assessing that I was probably considerably over the 25 mile speed limit, knew without a doubt that he was going to give me a ticket. (Now, I’d like to add here that I wasn’t intentionally going over the speed limit. I just got so distracted that I forgot the speed limit on that road. Oh, how I hate when that happens!)

Fifteen minutes later, I was pulling away with an expensive ticket and a couple of points. I will add here that the policeman who pulled me over was a very nice guy and for that I was very thankful. But, nevertheless, I got the ticket that I certainly did deserve and went on my merry way.

On my way home, as I pressed very lightly on the gas pedal, I started thinking about my ticket. If I didn’t tell anyone, there wasn’t really any other way that anyone would find out about my ticket. No one was in the car with me and there were no familiar faces in the few cars that had passed me while I sat on the side of the road. Perhaps I could keep it under my hat –at least for a few days. Maybe after we got back I would mention it.

I went home, paid the ticket, and kept the whole thing to myself.

During our trip, I had a couple of very good opportunities to mention it but decided I didn’t want to ruin our vacation with that kind of bad news, so just kept quiet. This is actually not typical behavior for me and I am not sure why I kept so silent. It’s not like my husband would scream and throw things at me. He’s actually a pretty reasonable guy. I guess I just wanted to avoid the teasing and scolding that was certain to come when I did spill the beans.

As we pulled into our driveway a week later, we were not in the best of moods. It had been a very long day of travel and it had not started out well (another story for another day!). It was also not ending well. We both grumpily pulled our uncooperative, stiff bodies out of the truck and started unloading. Our youngest daughter quickly unloaded her stuff and then wisely disappeared.

As I made a trip into the house, I noticed the answering machine flashing at me. I ignored it for awhile, but after I had done a bit of unpacking, I decided to push the button. Unfortunately, my husband was in the room at the time.

“Yes, this message is for Leslie in regards to the speeding citation she received…”

My heart sank. So much for keeping a secret around here. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Eric’s ears perk up as he started listening intently.

Apparently, the police officer had not assessed the correct amount and I owed more than what the ticket said.

Doesn’t it just figure?

The timing really couldn’t have been worse and upon hearing that message, my husband gave me a pretty hard time (remember –we were both a bit on the irritable side).

So why do I share this here? Why embarrass myself further?

I guess it’s because I learned a little something about keeping secrets.

I should have just told my husband what happened right away. Honestly, I am still really not sure why I didn’t. But once a few days had passed, it was just easier to not say anything. And it got easier and easier. Now a speeding ticket is no big deal in the scope of life.

We laugh about it now and, of course, there was little time lost in making sure the whole family knew about Mom’s speeding ticket, but, even so, I am glad that I don’t have the burden of a secret even that small hanging over my head. There is such great freedom in truthfulness.

I would guess that some of us are keeping much bigger secrets than speeding tickets today. There are many secrets that are keeping us from living our best Christian lives–

Affairs/Infidelity

Crippling Debt

Alcoholism

Prescription Drug Addictions

Eating Disorders

Gambling Addictions

Abuse of All Kinds

And so many more…

But here’s the thing—while that horrible, dark secret lies within you, you are locked in a prison so tight it may as well have iron bars. You feel hopeless as Satan whispers insidious lies in your ears; telling you that you will be in this place forever, that change is impossible.

Secrets have caused so much torturous pain through the years. They have caused broken marriages, suicides, and hopeless families, all held imprisoned by the unutterable secret. Bitterness bubbles in the soul and the darkness overwhelms those who hold on to awful secrets.

But with confession comes light and wonderful freedom! First, we should pour our hearts out to God and tell Him everything. He is waiting for us. In fact, He already knows every bit of our secret. All of it. Nothing is hidden from Him.

And then we should consider telling someone else. Now, I don’t suggest that we announce our secret to the world on Facebook. But if we can find someone that we trust– a family member or a dear friend–and can share the secret, I think we will find the strength and the courage to work through our dark, lonely, terrible place. God has designed us to need each other and to encourage one another. Somehow, it helps when just one other person knows our secret and can encourage us to take the next step.

But choose your confidant wisely. Be sure it is someone who is a godly example and lives according to God’s Word consistently.

Life is hard enough without being imprisoned by a dreadful secret.

And there is so much hope! No situation is too big for God. Oftentimes telling a trusted Christian brother or sister will help us sort through the thing that looks insurmountable, giving us the courage to take the next step and unlocking the bars of hopelessness that have kept us imprisoned.

If you are someone who needs to share a long-kept secret, I want you to know that I am praying specifically for you today. I am praying that God will give you the courage you need to share your heart with just one other person. Freedom is often just one conversation away.

The Peach Tree

Leave a Comment / August 13, 2015 August 13, 2015

The man studied the tree. It had been the last to get leaves this spring. Now the sparse fruit hanging off the tree was misshapen and bumpy. The leaves were small and yellow. Something must be terribly wrong. He started to investigate and his search led him to understand that the tree was fatally diseased with a deadly virus. The disease that had started in the heart of the tree had worked its way out and was now affecting the leaves and the fruit of the tree. There was no saving this tree and he knew that if he didn’t remove it immediately it would spread to the rest of his orchard. And so the headed to the barn for his axe. He chopped that tree down and it became firewood.

This little story reminds me of a specific passage from scripture. While there are several passages about trees that do not bear fruit, my favorite is in John 15, where Jesus tells us that in order to bear fruit we have to abide in Him.

You see, the orchard owner did not realize anything was wrong with that tree until it was too late. The tree was bearing fruit and seemed fine, until one day the disease had worked its way up to the leaves and fruit.

People are a little like that. They look like good, healthy trees. They are attending church and seem to be doing all of the right things. But it has never reached way down inside to their heart. They are full of the head knowledge of Christianity, but they have never been born again. Sometimes, we find out that it was all a show. And other times, that person dies thinking they have been a good person, when all along their motivations have been self-seeking. Only God truly knows the heart of any man or woman.

In John 15, Christ tells us we can do no good apart from Him. And if we do not abide in Him, then we are cut off and cast away.

So how do we know?

How do we know if we are abiding in Him? I have noticed two things all believers that I admire have in common.

First, I see a never-ending thirst for God’s Word, which is the main source of comfort and strength and guidance for them. And, second, I see a desire to know and please God, no matter the cost to their own personal lives. It is not about being sinless– they are human and they sin, but they desire to live pure and holy lives and follow Christ sacrificially. It is always about direction and not perfection.

Growing Christians love God’s Word and desire to obey at any cost.

Are we Christians like this? Or is it in name only that we profess Christ? Let’s truthfully examine ourselves today so that we will know without a shadow of a doubt that we are abiding in Christ.

John 15: 1-8: “I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. ²Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away;^[^a^] and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit. ³You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you. ⁴Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me.

⁵“I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. ⁶If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned. ⁷If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will^[^b^] ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you. ⁸By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples.

It’s Never Too Late

4 Comments / August 6, 2015 August 6, 2015

We hear the testimonies of wretched sinners who have received salvation through the grace of Jesus Christ. And we praise God and then we sit back to watch and see if they were serious. If we aren’t careful, we can grow a little skeptical. This may be because, in our culture, Jesus is often used a little like a rope thrown to a person hanging over the cliff—useful for a moment or two and then cast aside when the person reaches safety.

But when someone becomes genuinely saved, change is non-negotiable. It just happens. We see this very thing in the life of Manasseh.

I feel like, as the summer has moved along, I have lost quite a few Bible Challenge readers. If you are still reading, I would love to hear about it (just to remind me that there are still people plugging through these Old Testament prophets along with me!)

But, this is a great reminder for everyone– whether you have given up on the reading or not. The lessons that I learned from chapter 33 of 2 Chronicles can be summarized into two main points that I found quite helpful in the current culture we find ourselves in–

1. No one is beyond God’s grace.

Every day we hear horrible stories of great and heinous sin. We can’t imagine how man could do such evil things. And yet, even the worst of sinners is free to accept God’s great gift of salvation.

Manasseh did horrible things. In fact, he even gave his son as a human sacrifice! It is hard to imagine something worse than this. Think through how awful that is for just a moment. This is the description of Manasseh’s sinful acts–

But he did evil in the sight of the Lord, according to the abominations of the nations whom the Lord had cast out before the children of Israel. ³For he rebuilt the high places which Hezekiah his father had broken down; he raised up altars for the Baals, and made wooden images; and he worshiped all the host of heaven^[a] and served them. ⁴He also built altars in the house of the Lord, of which the Lord had said, “In Jerusalem shall My name be forever.” ⁵And he built altars for all the host of heaven in the two courts of the house of the Lord. ⁶Also he caused his sons to pass through the fire in the Valley of the Son of Hinnom; he practiced soothsaying, used witchcraft and sorcery, and consulted mediums and spiritists. He did much evil in the sight of the Lord, to provoke Him to anger.

Manasseh’s sins were grave and numerous. And the Lord speaks to him and the people about this (vs 10) but they choose not to listen. An undetermined amount of time later, Manasseh is carried away to Babylon in bronze fetters (vs. 11). There, in great affliction, he humbly repents.

And how does the Lord respond? Does He tell him I told you so? Does He let him there to wallow in the consequences of his sinful choices?

No.

Instead, our merciful God extends grace. Here’s what we read–

Now when he was in affliction, he implored the Lord his God, and humbled himself greatly before the God of his fathers, ¹³and prayed to Him; and He received his entreaty, heard his supplication, and brought him back to Jerusalem into his kingdom. Then Manasseh knew that the Lord was God.

After such great evil, God would have been justified (at least according to our human sense of fairness) to just leave Manasseh to die in Babylon, a broken and contrite man. Instead, He reached out and restored him.

What great and marvelous grace and mercy! And it is still there for us today! God is the same–yesterday, today, and tomorrow. No sinner is beyond His grace, including you! If you don’t know Him, I encourage you to reach out and be restored.

2. True conversion is followed by true life change.

Manasseh does not go back to live the same life he always lived. He grabs the rope of rescue God extends and then makes changes that give the evidence that his repentance was quite genuine. We read–

He took away the foreign gods and the idol from the house of the Lord, and all the altars that he had built in the mount of the house of the Lord and in Jerusalem; and he cast them out of the city. ¹⁶He also repaired the altar of the Lord, sacrificed peace offerings and thank offerings on it, and commanded Judah to serve the Lord God of Israel.

True repentance always brings about change. It isn’t legalism. It just is. It is never our place to judge anyone’s salvation, but if someone claims Christ and then has gone back to their old, sinful life and stays there without a battle, without any efforts to extricate themselves, it is evidence that they may have just grabbed the convenient life rope thrown their way but weren’t serious in their repentance.

Many of the stories in the Old Testament are wild and beyond anything that is familiar to us. We can’t imagine sacrificing our children or worshiping formed idols. And yet, people are people, and within us is the same capability for horrible sin. Oh, we may not worship a golden calf, but if we aren’t worshiping the one, true God, we are worshiping something. But the good news is that, no matter where we find ourselves today, none of us is beyond God’s grace. And if we reach out and receive that grace with genuine repentance, then our lives will be transformed in a marvelous and unbelievable way. It is never too late to grab on to the rope of rescue!

Ironing for Jesus

2 Comments / August 3, 2015 August 3, 2015

The other day, as we prepared for yet another wedding, I watched my brother and sister-in-law. They efficiently and diligently did every task asked of them without complaint or attitude. I have seen them do this before. Since they never complain and no job is too small or “beneath” them, they are wonderful to have around! While we have had so many helpful relatives and friends give us a hand these past few weeks, on this particular day there were just a few of us and I watched my brother and his wife closely. As they quietly worked, much got done and there was no drama. They willingly and gladly did anything necessary to help. By the end of the day, I was convicted.

On the way home that day, I asked the Lord to help me be more like them. I told him that I wanted to stop complaining when a task is boring or hard. Or when I’d rather be doing something else.

Little did I know that God would present me with a situation that would test my earnest prayer the very next day.

We had tablecloths to iron. Lots of tablecloths to iron. Somehow I ended up at an iron (probably because no one else wanted to do it!) But these weren’t just any tablecloths. These things were so difficult to iron. There was no feeling of accomplishment even when I’d spend 15 minutes on one tablecloth. I am convinced that many of the wrinkles in these rented cloths were permanently in place.

This made for a pretty discouraging task. For a variety of reasons–

It was hot.

It was boring.

And there was no possible way to do it well.

As I watched everyone having all the fun of decorating the venue, I stood at the ironing board, dutifully doing my “mom” thing but not with a very good attitude. I was bummed and started complaining inside my head. And then the complaints started spilling out of my mouth.

And that’s when the Holy Spirit challenged me.

Did you really mean what you prayed yesterday? Because this is a test.

No, I didn’t hear the words. But I was convicted.

I made a choice to stop complaining in that instant. What did it matter? Why not spare someone else from having to do this awful job and let others have the fun? The only reason I even cared was because I was thinking only of me. If this was my job, then I would do it cheerfully. I went to work and, instead of being resentful about missing out on all of the fun, I put on some uplifting music and chose to enjoy watching all of the activity.

Thankfully, God was so kind to me and provided my mom to help me with the ironing a little later on. But not before I learned a good lesson. Sometimes we don’t get to do the fun job or the job we think we should. Instead we are asked to do the job that we don’t want to do. The one that perhaps we think we are too good for. And that’s when our true character shows, isn’t it? That’s when we see who we really are inside. Because anyone can be pleasant and diligent when they are doing what they want to do.

Thankfully, the Lord hasn’t given up on me yet and so, while this could have ended up as one of my many spiritual failures, in this particular instance I made a choice, through the nudging of the Holy Spirit, to respond correctly and started ironing for Jesus.

One of my favorite verse came to mind while I did so–

Colossians 3:23-24 And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ.

Are you doing your mundane or hated tasks with a joyful heart and pleasant attitude? If not, I encourage you to, this day, think through your attitude. For it is here that Satan can so easily ensnare us. We Christians don’t always view our bad attitudes as sinful, but that doesn’t change the fact that they are sinful.

Let’s improve our characters by making the conscientious choice to smile in the boring tasks. To praise God through the difficult demands. And to be humble when asked to do something we think is beneath us. For in doing so, the light of our Lord and Savior will shine ever so brightly through us!

Picking Your Path

Leave a Comment / July 30, 2015 July 30, 2015

Weddings and funerals often make us think, don’t they? They tend to take our focus off of the temporal for a brief time and move our thoughts to the eternal. One thing I have really been thinking about with all of the weddings this past year is the fact that we all need to deliberately make a choice about what our lives are going to look like. When we grow up and leave home permanently we purposefully step towards the unknown and move away from the familiar.

If you are blessed with a wonderful family, leaving home can be hard. And yet you know that the bright future of your dreams isn’t possible without stepping out into the unknown and choosing the path, in this case, of marriage.

When we choose to get married, we are purposely choosing to leave our family homes (or our bachelor apartments) and live with someone else. Yes, there are risks and it is scary but we leave completely and start a new life.

If we would get married but still live in our childhood home, while our spouse lived elsewhere, it would raise many questions, wouldn’t it? Even when we, as adults, are forced to go back to our childhood homes for a brief period of time, we usually view it as a temporary setback. It is not viewed as our final destiny, but instead as a safe place to land during a difficult time.

As we wind up our reading of the kings of Israel in the Old Testament, I find myself thinking about the allegiance of these kings. If you have been keeping track –in your head or on paper– of which kings were evil and which were good, you will see that the majority were evil. No surprise there, as most men do choose the path of wickedness. You will also have noticed that some of the kings were sort of good, but chose not to serve God completely. And then you will notice that there are just a handful that served God whole-heartedly, removing the high places and re-establishing the temple practices.

When we look over all that was written about these kings, in particular, we can see that their works and success were directly correlated to their allegiance. If they served God, they were blessed. If they didn’t, they weren’t.

So back to my example of leaving home…

When we choose to get married, we must leave home. We can’t choose both paths. We cannot stay on our old path and get on the new path. It is physically impossible.

Why then, do we think we can choose the path of Christ, and yet stay on the path of the world?

This has been such a puzzle for me–these Christians that try to put one foot on the path towards Christ, while leaving most of their bodies on the path to destruction. The problem with this is that these paths are diametrically opposed and move further and further apart. Eventually, you can’t do the split that this requires and you have to pick a side.

If you are a believer, have you turned your back on the world? Have you denied yourself and decided to follow Jesus whole-heartedly?

We can see the destruction that occurred with the kings when they tried to live a life of compromise. And living a life of compromise at home would cause great problems, as well. Can you imagine your spouse telling you that they are headed to their parents each week for a sleep-over? Of course not. When we leave our homes to get married, we leave. To not do so is not normal.

So, why then, do we think we can live a life of compromise as believers? It goes against all that is not only written in the Bible but even against all that is logical. And yet many men of intellect inform us that we can– and some even tell us that we should–live a life of worldliness. They tell us we can be on both paths at the same time. That worldliness and holiness are not mutually exclusive.

But who are you going to listen to? Men who pretend to know what they are talking about or the Bible, which is very clear on this subject?

I can certainly understand the temptation to listen to the voice that is telling us what we want to hear. It is what so often gets us into trouble. One of the best things we can do is to hear the hard stuff from the Bible and then act on it in obedience.

I have absolutely no idea, as you read this, if you claim to be a believer. I do not know if you are straddling the fence right now or not. I have no way of knowing if you have pledged your allegiance to Christ but are living a life of great compromise, living for yourself instead of for the One who died for you.

What I do know is that to compromise is easy. To not compromise is hard. The only way to avoid it is to be consistently and purposefully living each day to serve God. This is why we are told to examine our lives regularly–

Examine yourselves as to whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Do you not know yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you are disqualified. 2 Corinthians 13:5

Now for the really good news!

Sometimes, when we first trust Christ, we look back on our old lives with real longing. We think we are missing out on all of the fun and we long for the world. But this doesn’t last! The truth of the matter is that as we move towards holiness, we became much less enamored with the world. Just keep putting one step in front of the other towards the light and soon you won’t even miss the world.

Finding Normal

2 Comments / July 27, 2015 July 28, 2015

It’s Monday morning and I find myself surrounded by wedding stuff that was thrown in boxes and stuffed in baskets after the big event, waiting to be sorted and organized. The last couple of years have flown by as we were always preparing for the next big event. Three weddings in thirteen months. And now all of them are over. Our three oldest kids have kissed us good-bye and traveled into their futures, holding the hands of the ones that we have prayed for since they were children. We are so thankful for each of the young people joining our family and feel so blessed.

But with these wonderful additions to our family comes change. Lots of change.

Ever since my oldest daughter got engaged, I knew that my upcoming couple of years were going to be a real roller coaster ride of change. I was watching my oldest kids and realized that there was likely more than just one wedding in the near future and started pondering the months ahead. Over the course of the following year and a half, we had our oldest daughter get married, our son get married, and then this past Saturday, we had the wedding of our middle daughter. We had a gorgeous day, with just a slight breeze keeping us all comfortable on a hot July day and her chosen theme of sunflowers seemed to fit perfectly with the beautiful rural setting. Our family and friends have been so gracious to come to so many weddings, two of them being only six weeks apart. We are so grateful for their presence at these precious celebrations and appreciate their efforts to be there.

As I lived through the past couple of years, I had an urgency to prepare for the future, knowing that going from having four kids living in my house to only one would be a big change. But the weddings and all that goes with them were almost all-consuming. Along with the weddings came quite a few other dynamics that we could have never foreseen. They all worked together to make for a very challenging time for my husband and me. It’s certainly been stretching us and growing us, that’s for sure. And that means little effort has been given to preparing for our new normal. And, honestly, how do you emotionally prepare for a drastically reduced “nest”, anyway?

I know that this empty nest thing doesn’t affect most of you. But this is a good lesson for all of us, no matter what stage we are in. I think we want to– we try to-– find our normal. There is something so comfortable about routine and the familiar. But sometimes we are simply in limbo and it’s just not possible. Sometimes there is no normal to find because life just keeps changing and throwing us curve balls. We have to learn to flex and bend and yield our will to God’s.

For me, it has been the steady stream of kids leaving our home that is teaching me to yield my will to God’s. It is teaching me about myself. And it’s teaching me about God. But for you it may be chronic health issues or a shaky job situation. We are all in limbo at one time or another and any normal we ever find ourselves in is always tentative at best.

With this being the case, it is probably best to hold on very lightly to our “normals”. No one is more surprised than me at just how tightly I was clinging to my normal. I never had any idea that my purpose, my worth, and my very soul were so wrapped up in my kids. I thought I was a good Christian mom who loved her kids and tried to raise them to honor the Lord. I never realized just how much I relied on my role as Mom. Thankfully, I still have my youngest daughter at home, helping to make this transition a little easier, but it has certainly been a real eye-opener for me and has forced me turn to God for comfort and guidance. (His faithfulness through this time has been incredible. I will write about that some time soon).

Perhaps this is one of the main reasons are we are shaken out of our “normals”. Because when we are comfortably ensconced in normal we often don’t rely on God. It takes a good shake out of our comfort zones to remind us where our true worth and purpose lies. It also reminds us of just how weak we are and how desperately in need of a Savior.

And so I wait patiently for my new normal. I have no idea what that will look like. I do know it will be so much quieter and peaceful. It will be cleaner and neater. But those things aren’t as good as they are cracked up to be. (Are you listening to me, you moms who are surrounded by little ones?)

I do hope that in my new normal I grow closer to God, finally having the time to dig into the Word more. I look forward to getting to know my youngest daughter in a deeper way, now that she is stuck with just Mom and Dad at home. I hope that I can minister to and bless others, as my parenting and housewife duties have decreased substantially. And I guess I am most looking forward to loving the grandchildren that will hopefully join our family in the future.

But I know one thing– I don’t want to get stuck in status quo, growing lazy and satisfied with the unimportant and trivial. I want to use this time for God’s glory! Any normal we find should always have this first and foremost in mind.

And as life naturally brings the changes of new babies, graduations, marriages, adoptions, illnesses, financial difficulties, job pressures, relationship troubles, and death, our normals are constantly changing. And, yes, it can be very painful. But if we are humble and teachable, it will never be worthless. For after it is all over, we can see how God used it to grow us and change us and make us more like Jesus.

If You Believe

6 Comments / July 23, 2015 July 23, 2015

Disclaimer: I feel rather hypocritical even posting this. I try to share God’s Truth here at Growing 4 Life, but sometimes struggle greatly to live it. This time of my life, as my nest empties, has been a great challenge for me. I never realized that such great joy and such deep grief could reside side by side within my heart. But there it is. Feelings in complete opposition warring for my attention at almost all times. I tell you this to let you know that I am no spiritual giant. I am weak and pathetic and desperately in need of a Savior. I hope this post encourages any of you who are struggling to continue walking through your dark place.

Sometimes we can get so discouraged. By the world. By our circumstances. By life.

I am not sure who is still reading through the Bible with me, but even if you have stopped or never started, please stick with me. This post is for everyone.

I know you are familiar with the well-known Biblical accounts–

~God creates the world (Genesis 1-3)

~God destroys the world and saves Noah, his family, and the animals in an ark (Genesis 5-9)

~God calls Moses to leadership and miraculously saves His people and then takes supernatural care of them in the wilderness (Exodus).

~God destroys the walls of Jericho (Joshua 6), uses a boy and a stone that impossibly hits Goliath’s impenetrable armor in just the right place to knock him down (I Samuel 17), and, later, in the Syrian camp creates the frightening sounds of horses and chariots coming, causing the great army to flee (2 Samuel 7).

~God decides to keep Elijah from the experience of death and takes him up in a chariot of fire (2 Kings 2).

~God keeps Jonah safe and sound in a big fish for three days and nights (Jonah 1-2).

~And we didn’t get this far yet in our reading, but we all know the courageous tales of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego in the fiery furnace (Daniel 3) and Daniel in the Lions’ Den (Daniel 6).

Do we really believe these things happened?

And if we say yes, then do we honestly think any problem we may face is a challenge for God?

We serve such an awesome and mighty God. When we see his power and grace at work, we can’t help but realize that our problems are small compared to such circumstances.

God is sovereign. His way is best. As we study the scripture and grow to know God in a deeper and fuller way, it will grow easier to trust Him. Whether he chooses to refine us or comfort us, to stretch us or to give us a break, to rain on us or to shine down on us, we can take it all from His hand when we start to comprehend just how much He loves us. Life starts to make more sense when we really get to know our heavenly Father and understand His purposes.

Life is hard. There is no doubt about it. And some of you are going through really tough times right now. Today. Please don’t neglect your Bible reading during this time. This is how God has chosen to convey His great love for us. It’s what He uses to convict and challenge and change us. When we turn away from His Word during times of great challenge, we are ignoring the single most important tool that He has provided for our benefit and comfort.

I hope that you believe that God’s Word is literal, inerrant, and inspired (If you don’t, then I challenge you to really do some studying instead of just saying you don’t believe). And if you do, then keep reading and studying the Word of God. For from its pages, we receive our best hope and our greatest comfort. Scripture provides conviction, refinement, and, most importantly, Truth about the God of the universe and His plan for salvation.

Diamonds and Axeheads

Leave a Comment / July 2, 2015 July 2, 2015

Several years ago, I lost a necklace. Not the big, chunky kind made out of brightly-colored beads. This was a delicate chain with a small diamond charm. The special kind your husband gives you to celebrate a special milestone or anniversary.

I had taken it off at the end of a long day and placed it on the end table. When I thought of it the next day, it had completely vanished. I searched everywhere. I couldn’t find it.

We came to the conclusion that it had probably fallen in the small trash can next to the table. I sadly realized that it was lost forever. We have a big dumpster which holds all of the trash that our sizable company discards. The bag holding this necklace was in that dumpster. The chances of finding a tiny little gold chain inside a large trash bag in an even larger dumpster were slim to none. We didn’t even know which trash bag was the right one.

My husband decided to look, anyway. That’s just the kind of guy he is. I sent up a little prayer letting the Lord know that I would greatly appreciate finding this special necklace.

Within just a few minutes, Eric came inside the house holding the chain in his hand. Unbelievable. Why would God care about such a thing?

A few years later, I lost my anniversary band. It was a little big and when the weather grew cold and my fingers shrunk even further, the band must have slipped off. How well I remember that Monday at lunchtime. I looked down at my hand and realized it was gone. We searched everywhere for it. But my heart sank, knowing full well that it was unlikely that we would find it.

For several weeks, I prayed that it would somehow miraculously turn up. This ring meant even more than the necklace, as it was bought to celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary. It was very special and also rather expensive. I was heartbroken.

It never turned up.

But when my birthday came around a few months later, my husband presented me with a small wrapped box. When I opened it, I found the exact same ring that he had purchased over a year earlier. He had bought me this because he knew just how disappointed and upset I was about the loss of that ring. And you know what? This ring means almost more than the first one. It symbolizes unconditional love even through my failures and stupid moments. It shows me commitment and willingness to go above and beyond. He could have been furious and never bought me another piece of jewelry again. Instead he bought me a replacement for the ring I had lost.

So why am I telling you this?

These events came to mind as I read the account of the floating axehead in 2 Kings 6. Elisha’s servants decide to build a new dwelling. At least one of them is so poor that he needs to borrow an axe to fell the trees. While they are working by the Jordan, his iron axehead falls into the Jordan. He is in much despair over this, because it is not his and he does not have the money to replace it. Elisha asks him where it has fallen, throws a stick in the water, which causes the iron axehead to float, and the servant picks it out of the water.

This whole story takes place in only six verses. It’s only a minute portion of the Bible, but there is much to learn here. This man’s life was not in danger. His home, his wife, his children, his education are not mentioned. We know nothing about him.

What we do know is that iron was very expensive in those days and this lost axehead would cause him financial difficulty.

What we do know is that God cared enough about this man and his seemingly trivial problem to provide a miracle on this man’s behalf.

Now, I’m sure this didn’t happen every day and there were probably some axeheads that sat on the floor of the Jordan at the great displeasure and inconvenience of their owners and borrowers. God did not make every axehead float.

But in this instance, God decided to intervene.

This incident shows us that, just like my diamond necklace, God cares enough to help in the little things. Sometimes He chooses to show Himself in an amazing way.

But sometimes, as in the case of my ring, He instead has a lesson to teach us or something to show us by not interceding. And that’s okay, too.

No matter how God chooses to answer us, He knows best. We can count on Him to take care of us all the way. He will give us the strength and grace that we need–and even occasional little miracles–as we go.

And we come once more to the necessity to rest wholly in God’s Sovereignty. I am convinced that this one thing is what will bring us joy and peace as we travel through life. God cares about us. He cares about even the smallest thing. We know that He is in control, no matter what comes our way. What a comforting thought!

To Everything There is a Season

Leave a Comment / June 25, 2015 June 25, 2015

Lately, I have been really pondering this thing called life.

How fleeting it is. And how sad. And how lovely.

I think it’s pretty natural for most people to start reviewing their lives a bit when things start changing for them. As you already know, life is changing for me. With an extremely busy husband and two very busy young women living at home, I find myself alone more often than not these days. This is quite an adjustment for a mom who used to home school four kids. No children’s laughter ringing out loudly in the evening air. No passionate arguing. No calling of “Mom!” from across the yard. The house seems to almost join my sadness in its eery silence. It gives me way too much time to think.

And so how appropriate that in the past week of our Bible Challenge I read Ecclesiastes. How poignant to read these words–

To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven:

A time to mourn,
And a time to dance;

A time to gain,
And a time to lose;

These are just a couple of phrases from Solomon’s poem about life. But these especially struck me, being where I am at in life just now. I feel like I should add a verse:

A time to raise children
And a time for them to start out on their own.

Of course, Ecclesiastes 3 is best left without my addition. But it is certainly something I have been contemplating much lately.

But it’s the first part of that poem that we really start to understand and think on as we grow older and become more familiar with death–

A time to be born,
And a time to die;

Here in America, we seem especially inoculated to this thing called death. With modern medicine, we see less of it than any other group of people in all of history. And so it scares most of us. And we hate it. We hate to see anything die (even baby birds, if you remember my post from Monday). But, much more so, we hate to see people die. And so when something like the church shooting in Charleston happens, we struggle with it. Why were these people ruthlessly murdered? It just seems so cruel and tragic.

I heard John MacArthur’s thoughtful response to this event the other day and it really makes sense in light of Ecclesiastes. He first shared that he had been in Charleston for a conference and had met many of the African-American pastors there. He had been welcomed there with open arms. He asked us all to pray for the Christians–our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ–that are hurting there. He was heart-broken. And then he added one more thing–

He said may this remind us that death is a reality. We are all going to die. May this remind us why we need to keep sharing the gospel. Because the only thing that can take away the sting of death is salvation through the blood of Jesus Christ. Because our lives are so much more than these fleeting moments on earth.

Those aren’t his exact words but my paraphrase of them. As I thought about his words, I realized just how distracted I can become by the things that aren’t important in the light of eternity.

We can become a bit depressed as we read these words of Ecclesiastes 12:a–

For who knows what is good for man in life, all the days of his vain life which he passes like a shadow?

And the words of James 4:14–

whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.

But then we realize the hope that is within us as believers! We have many promises in God’s Word on which to build our faith (Romans 8:28-39; I Peter 5:7; Isaiah 41:10; John 11:25-26; I John 3:2-3; Philippians 3:20-21 to name a few).

This hope we have in Christ us should make us different in this world where death is such a non-negotiable part of life–

1. We should have a “peace that passeth understanding”. (Philippians 4:7)

2. We should remain hopeful– even in the midst of the worst circumstances. (I Peter 1:3-5)

3. We should have the true joy that comes from standing guiltless before God through Jesus Christ’s sacrifice. (2 Corinthians 8:1-2)

4. We should have a driving need to tell others about salvation and the promise of eternal life we have because of it. (Romans 10:14-15)

But instead, so many of us Christians are apathetic and distracted. We don’t really care if our neighbors and co-workers know the Lord because we have enough of our own problems.

We don’t have hope or joy or peace, because we have invested heavily into the things of this world and this is where our treasures are–worldly, precarious treasures that come and go like the wind.

No matter where we find ourselves–whether young or old, poor or wealthy, single or parent–we need to ask ourselves these questions:

What am I doing to make sure that anyone who comes in contact with me knows that I have a hope within that doesn’t compare to anything that the world offers?

What am I doing to make sure that my treasures are in heaven and not on earth?

Life is fleeting. And we are all going to die. These are two facts we cannot escape.

Am I leaving a legacy that is befitting one of God’s servants? And have I liberally planted seeds to further God’s kingdom?