Christianity

The Light

Leave a Comment / December 4, 2014

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Sometimes ignorance is truly bliss, isn’t it?

My eye caught the particles of dust that hung in the air in the streaming sunlight. I was taken aback. I actually breathe all of that in? That’s disgusting.

The same thing has happened when the sunlight has hit my floor off of the kitchen. It makes what I think is a pretty clean floor show all of the dog hair, dirt, and debris that tends to get lost in a darker setting.

The light tends to do that. And many times we’d just rather not know.

But what if the light is really a blessing?

What if the light is the only way we know the truth? My floor is dirty and my air is dusty, whether I can see them or not.

In my journey through the New Testament the past couple of months, I have felt like much of it is a bright, shining light into the dark crevices of my life. And, while this is a painful and humbling process, it is also a freeing and hopeful process. There is so much I have to change, but it is not hopeless!

This is really one of the reasons why I am hoping more of you will join me in the Bible Reading Challenge. If you have the right heart when you start in January, you will not go away unchanged.

By right heart, I mean this–

I was talking with a friend the other day and she, too, is reading faithfully from God’s Word each day and is experiencing the life-changing truths held within its pages. But she mentioned something that I think is worth mentioning here–

We will not be changed by God’s Word if we do not have a submissive and obedient heart–a heart filled with love for our heavenly Father that truly desires to please God above self.

I finished the Old Testament a few months ago and those were the three words that kept coming up over and over and over again– humility, love, and obedience. It is so clear. It is the most important thing I learned in reading through the Old Testament. These qualities are not optional but are absolutely necessary in the Christian life.

So, honestly, I can’t promise you that your read-through will be life-changing. Many, many people read God’s Word whose lives are never changed. Only God (and perhaps they) know why. I am not the judge.

And I want you to know that I understand that this might not be the right time for you to join the challenge. And that’s ok. You may have commitments that are too overwhelming right now or another Bible Study that you are involved in. Many of you I don’t know, but many of you I do. You all need to know that I am not offended or judging you in any way if you don’t join the challenge.

However, if God can use me to encourage even a few of you to develop a deeper and fuller love for His Word, I believe it is worth it. And so I truly hope that if you are even thinking about it, that you will join me. It doesn’t cost anything. You can print out the schedule and at least start, right?

And– just to be clear– I am receiving no compensation or payment for this challenge in any way. This is about God placing within me a burning passion to get people back into His Word. I truly believe that the American church and Christian families would not be in the state they are in, if we had not allowed ourselves to become so biblically illiterate. I want to do whatever I can from my little blog corner of the world to change that.

I truly hope you will consider joining me. Click here for the details. And don’t forget to subscribe to the blog (find the box in the upper right-hand of this page) to receive a special newsletter that will be bring encouragement, worksheets, and commentary for the challenge each month.

 

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Understanding Our Riches

Leave a Comment / May 30, 2017

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I don’t know how old you have to be to remember the show “Beverly Hillbillies.” It is a silly show, tilled with innocent humor and pointless plots, telling the tale of a hillbilly family that struck it rich.

The first verse of the theme song goes like this–

Come and listen to a story about a man named Jed
A poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed,
Then one day he was shootin at some food,
And up through the ground came a bubblin crude.
Oil that is, black gold, Texas tea.
Jed and his family were actually very rich for a very long time before he even realized it, because there was oil underneath the ground where he and his family lived.  His ignorance did not make his wealth any less valid or true.
I was reading in Ephesians this morning (Oh, how I love that little epistle!) and came across these verses– For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,[c] 15 from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, 16 that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, 17 that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height— 19 to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

20 Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, 21 to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.  (Ephesians 3:14-21)

And I was just struck by the knowledge that we have so much in Christ. And yet we live like we have so little. So often we are just like Jed, living as a spiritual pauper. We work our way through the swampy mess of our lives, relying on our own resources and strength. When that runs out we turn to worldly philosophies and counselors. And then when that doesn’t work, we often build walls and hide behind them. But these verses tell us that our strength and riches come from Jesus Christ. And that He is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think! This isn’t talking about selfish requests focused on material goods and a comfortable, pleasant life. Earlier in Ephesians Paul tells us–

For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them. (Ephesians 2:10)

When we are saved we are filled with the desire to please God. This isn’t a requirement, it’s just a fact. What doesn’t change is our fleshly desire to please ourselves. And so with salvation comes a huge battle and many of us are not prepared to fight it. We either cave to the temptation of our lusts or we fight it with earthly tactics and humanistic techniques.

And yet God tells us in Ephesians that God can accomplish greater things than we can ever imagine through His power in us. We can have victory! Oh, most times it doesn’t come easy and we have to work hard. While God miraculously changes sinful desires in some people, most times it is tiny step by tiny step forward.

But I think the thing I found encouraging is that if we are walking with the Lord in obedience, we can expect victory! Paul goes on in Ephesians to clearly explain what a truly saved and transformed life does and does not look like. If our lives are filled with the things that are of the flesh, we should not expect victory. We can’t live willfully in sin and expect God to work great things in us. That is why so many of us flounder as spiritual paupers, when, in truth, we are quite rich!

Today is a good day to examine your heart. I know that I had much confession to do this morning, as I read Ephesians and realized how I have been allowing some things to take a hold in my heart that shouldn’t be there. I don’t want to live as a spiritual pauper. I want to live as the spiritually rich and very loved person I am in Christ! If you are His, I am sure you want the same. May we all continue to fight the flesh that wars within us by the power of Christ in us! We are on the winning side. Victory is ours through Christ Jesus. Let’s not forget it!

 

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Can You Just Be a Little Nice?

Leave a Comment / November 20, 2014

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Have you ever talked to one of those arrogant, condescending types? The kind that get your defenses up in world-record time? The type that you just want to ask– Can you just be a little nice? I don’t want to stretch you too much here, but some kindness would go a long way.

I’m sure you know the kind.

I had the opportunity of talking with a guy like that the other day. I had to make a business call. I just wanted to have a pleasant discussion. Instead I ended up with–well, let’s just say it wasn’t pleasant.

People like this make my blood boil. I mean you can just tell me what you have to say in a kind way. You don’t have to make me feel like an idiot.

I have had these conversations with vendors and customers. In fact, the customer ones always make me laugh. So let me make sure I understand–you are upset with me because I am asking you for money that you have owed for months? Okay then. If you are in any customer service or job where you deal with people, I am pretty sure you will be able to relate.

But we can have these conversations with co-workers, other parents on the sidelines of the soccer field or basketball court, friends, family, and, sadly enough, in the hallways and conference rooms of our churches. They are certainly not relegated to the Business World only.

I replayed that conversation over in my mind to determine two things–

What could he have done to help the situation? I ask this so that I keep this in mind when dealing with others.

and

How could I have responded better? I ask this so I can keep my Christian testimony with these particularly infuriating kind of people.

So, first, as I thought about the whole conversation, I realized that he immediately set me on edge with his tone. His tone was arrogant, condescending, and rude. He acted like he knew everything and I knew nothing. He also made me feel quite helpless with his lack of flexibility and unwillingness to compromise. Instead of working together to solve a problem, he made it very clear that he wasn’t interested and was not going to join me in solving anything. And, finally, he wounded with this words. Instead of using words to heal and solve problems, he used them to belittle and build walls.

I am not sure why this guy was so unpleasant. I had never had any contact with him before. He doesn’t own the company I called, so he isn’t vested personally. I came to the conclusion that he’s just unpleasant. And I hung up very thankful that I am not married to a guy like that one. Wow.

But the question is: Do I ever act–even slightly– like this guy? When I am cornered or upset or “sure I’m right”, am I arrogant or condescending? Unwilling to yield or compromise? Keep in mind I am not talking about biblical issues and principles here. Of course, we never yield or compromise truth. But I am talking about the interpersonal stuff of life that has no consequence. The stuff that doesn’t matter in the long run. What kind of attitude do I bring to these issues?

It’s a question to consider.

And then I had to look at how I responded. Did I emanate Jesus Christ and His love for this man? I knew the answer was no. This has been one of the main challenges for me in running a business with my husband for the past 27 years– responding to critical and unkind people. Since we have two admin assistants now, I rarely answer the phone or deal directly with people anymore (for which I am so incredibly grateful!) so I was very pleased to realize that I responded much better than I would have 20 years ago. God’s done a work in me. No question about that. Of course, there are miles and miles to go. And I still could have done better.

I realized that I did not have an eternal perspective as I talked to this guy. Instead I immediately got defensive, which put an unkind edge into my voice. Instead of thinking about the fact that this guy may not know Jesus, I immediately became consumed with my wounded pride and focused on how I was feeling at that moment. Instead of using my words to encourage and heal, I used them to defend myself and fight back. I could’ve done so much better.

You know, this is the nitty gritty stuff of life. This is where our Christianity shines brightly or shows itself to be tarnished and unlovely. How we treat others and how we respond to others is one of the most basic ways we give our testimony each and every day.

 

 

No Personality Transplant Required (for women only)

Leave a Comment / November 17, 2014

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I usually try to write for any Christian. But today’s post is just for women. Of course, men can certainly read it, but I don’t think they will really get it. I heard something yesterday in church and felt like I just had to write about it, because I am thinking that it may not just be me that struggles with this particular concern.

We Christian women have been hearing the phrase “gentle and quiet spirit” forever. For years and years, I have felt so incredibly guilty because I am just. not.

Really, it has been one of the most discouraging things ever for me. I naturally tend to take charge (even when I’m not asked) and I can talk too much, if I’m not very careful. I am not gentle. Or quiet. And I struggle with being submissive, too. There. I said it. (You can click here for my post on submission. I won’t write much about that today).

I used to watch Christian women who were “gentle and quiet” — at least in how they portrayed themselves in public– and get a little jealous. Why couldn’t I be more like them? Dignified. Quiet. Even shy.

As I have gotten older, I have gained a much deeper understanding into this. I have seen “godly” women–quiet, shy ones– who years later are not exhibiting much fruit. Their kids have walked away from the Lord. They aren’t really ministering in any area of their lives. Or I have found out that they are pernicious gossips behind the scenes. Of course, there are many quiet, shy women who are truly lovely women of God. And that’s really the whole point. But I’m getting a little ahead of myself here.

So let’s go back to what I heard yesterday in church. We watched a video in our ladies’ Sunday School class that really brought this all together in my mind.  At one point, Nancy Leigh DeMoss said something like she believed for a long time that she would need a personality transplant in order to be godly woman. She just knew she didn’t have a quiet and gentle spirit. I had never heard the struggle put that exact way before, but as soon as she said it, I could totally and completely relate. It struck something deep inside me.

In many ways, I have felt like I have left my Savior down, my family down, and my church down just by being me. I have felt like it is impossible to be a godly woman.

But here’s the thing–

Perhaps we haven’t defined the words correctly. I remember that when I wrote the Sermon on the Mount in a Nutshell  post that I was surprised by the actual meaning of those verses in Matthew 5. All my life I had defined certain terms in that passage completely wrong–words like “mourn” and “meek.”. Perhaps the same thing has been true of these words “gentle” and “quiet”.

And logic would dictate that if we start with the wrong definition, we end up with the wrong conclusion.

So let’s define these words, using the specific Greek terms (keep in mind that I am no Greek scholar by any means)–

πραέως (praus): This difficult-to-translate root (pra-) means more than “meek.” Biblical meekness is not weakness but rather refers to exercising God’s strength under His control – i.e. demonstrating power without undue harshness; humble.

[The English term “meek” often lacks this blend – i.e. of gentleness (reserve) and strength.]

ἡσυχίου (hescuchios): (an adjective derived from hēsyxos, “quiet, stillness”) – properly, quiet (still), i.e. steady (settled) due to a divinely-inspired inner calmness; (“calmly quiet”) describes being “appropriately tranquil” by not misusing (or overusing) words that would stir up needless friction (destructive commotion).

As we read these definitions, we begin to understand that being gentle and quiet has absolutely nothing to do with our personality and everything to do with surrendering our will to God’s and living obediently, according to His Word.

You see, this verse is for all of us. As we mature, we should be cloaked in “divinely-inspired inner calmness”– whether we are an introvert or an extrovert. As we grow up in the Lord, we should be demonstrating humility.

And let’s keep in mind that being an extrovert does not mean one is filled with pride, just as being an introvert does not mean one is filled with humility. A quiet person can easily be more prideful than a talkative one. Sometimes we get a little confused on this.

NOW– all that being said– there are some things we need to face.

No matter what personality we have been given by God (Psalm 139:13), it can be used for God’s glory or for our own. Challenges abound for us, no matter what our natural bents are. The key is to recognize the area in which we struggle and, by the help of the Holy Spirit, to work at changing it.

For example, a strong personality may struggle with speaking words at the appropriate time while an introvert may struggle with developing the courage to speak words at all. One woman may struggle with responding with love and compassion, while another may struggle with enabling people in their struggles.

We need to recognize that God has uniquely designed (and blessed) us with the gifts, talents, and quirks that we have. And, along with that, we need to realize that each and every one of us– no matter what our personality is– has struggles and victories and needs and blessings.

No matter what personality we have been given, we have the glorious opportunity of using it to honor and glorify Christ. So let’s make sure that we grab that opportunity and, by God’s great grace and mercy, use it to the best of our ability.

If you have found this post helpful, I would sure appreciate if you would share it. Thank you!

 

Oswald Bunny and a Lesson Learned

Leave a Comment / November 13, 2014

Oswald_rabbitWe were exploring Hollywood Studios, Disney’s movie-themed park when everyone decided it was time to ride the Tower of Terror. I thought briefly about going along but then realized that I would enjoy wandering around the park by myself much more than standing in line for a ride I wasn’t even sure I’d like. And so I wished my family well and told them I’d meet up with them in an hour.

I first stopped at a little bookstore set back away from the crowd. I paged through a few books, especially enjoying the first few pages of a biography about Walt Disney. I made a note of the author and then moved on. I then came to the Walt Disney: One Man’s Dream attraction. I enjoyed seeing the journey of this man and his “empire”, from its humble beginnings to its present state. The one thing that really stuck with me was Oswald Bunny.

Oswald Bunny was a character that Walt had created in his early years. Around 1928, through a series of unfortunate and hurtful events, Oswald Bunny was stolen. Not only that, but Walt also lost many of his best employees through the fiasco. Was this the end of his dreams as an animated artist? Of course, we know it was not.

Instead of drowning in his sorrows and giving up, Walt went on that same year to come up with another original idea. As he was riding on a train with his wife, he told her his idea of a mouse he wanted to call Mortimer. She suggested the name “Mickey”, as the name “Mortimer” sounded too pretentious. And thus was born the famous Mickey Mouse. While Oswald the Bunny faded into obscurity, Mickey Mouse became the icon of all that is Disney.

Now why am I sharing this history?

Because the one thing I took from this particular event in Walt Disney’s life is his perseverance through hurt and trials. While I have no idea if Walt was a believer or not, I think we can definitely learn something from him about perseverance.

Perseverance: steadfastness in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success.

So, how does this relate to our Christian walk specifically? In 2 Peter 1:5-9, we can see that, if we want to avoid spiritual blindness and stumbling, perseverance is a necessary trait. But perseverance can be quite challenging to develop in our own lives. It is so tempting to give up in the midst of trials or when we can’t see any success in the near future. This has probably gotten so much worse with the event of this age, where if things don’t work instantly, they are quickly abandoned.

So how do we develop godly perseverance in our own lives? I believe there are a few key ways–

1. Don’t compare yourself to others.

It is so easy to look at someone else’s success and just want to give up. But there will always be someone more successful than you are. We need to keep our eyes focused on the ministry, the spiritual growth, and the duties that God has set before us, instead of focusing on others.

2. Don’t measure your success by how much applause and praise you get from mere mortals.

As I write this, I think of some of the great missionaries who sacrificed all to go to pagan lands a hundred or more years ago. When they arrived in these foreign countries, the natives were not falling all over themselves to hear the gospel. Instead, these missionaries practiced much perseverance, receiving little praise or glory. The fruits of their perseverance are evident today, but they weren’t very evident during their ministry. They persevered, anyway.

By the way, If you haven’t read any missionary biographies, I highly recommend doing so. They are so interesting and so much more useful to our Christian growth than romance novels. Some of the most interesting and life-changing that I’ve read are the stories of Gladys Aylward, Isobel Kuhn, George Muller, Amy Carmichael, and Gracia Burnham.

3. Keep your eyes focused on the Lord.

Sometimes, when we receive no praise and glory and we see the successes of others, it is tempting to start relying on our own human deductions. Thoughts like “This isn’t worth it” or “I will never be able to get over this in my past” or “this ministry will never be successful” crowd our mind and we give up. Instead, we need to continue to trust the Lord, ask Him to guide and confirm that we are in His will, and then continue on. We need to turn away from the thoughts of discouragement that plague us and instead keep our eyes fixed on Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith.

4. Learn from our painful moments.

When we are most hurt or embarrassed or torn apart is when we are most vulnerable to the voice that tells us to give up. But instead of giving up, we need to turn to the Lord for comfort and guidance, asking the Lord specifically what He wants us to learn from this time and then be humble enough to learn it. Sometimes, we do need to give up a favorite project or ministry. The key is being able to discern when that is. And, of course, we are never to give up on growing more like Jesus. So that is never even an option.

5. Be careful how you define success.

In this day and age of social media and quickly rising stars, we have to be careful in how we define success as Christians. If you can help even one person understand salvation, is that not a great success for the Lord? The Bible says that the angels rejoice when even one sinner repents! (Luke 15:10)

Sometimes we rely a little too heavily on the numbers. You can even see so many pastors fall prey to this line of thinking, as they become obsessed over the attendance numbers instead of focused on growing the sheep that are already in their fold. But can we overestimate the value of even one soul coming to know the Lord or growing closer to Him through your ministry? If even one person is changed by your ministry, is that not worth it?

Perseverance is really not a popular concept these days, but may I encourage you (and myself, too!) to keep on keeping on. If you are discouraged– as a ministry worker, as a parent, as a pastor or pastor’s wife, or just simply as a believer– then turn your eyes to Jesus and keep your eyes focused on eternity.

 

 

Entering the Gates

Leave a Comment / November 10, 2014

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Our family had the wonderful privilege of visiting Walt Disney World last week. Our family, along with my parents, had gone nine years ago when the kids were just the perfect age and had had a blast. We decided to go one last time all of us together (plus one son-in-law). We did so, realizing that it was probably the last time we would all be there together ever again. I shared a post on my Growing4Life Facebook page last night that I wrote a couple of years ago. The post was a good reminder, coming off of a trip that was so full of reminders of the past. We all enjoyed remembering and reminiscing together. And, as is often the case when I travel, I came away with some fresh inspiration for the blog.

We decided to go to three of the four parks. As we entered the first park, they asked you to tap your ticket (which looked like a credit card with a Disney character on it) on a little machine with mouse ears on it and then to give your fingerprint on a specially designed pad right beside it. When my one daughter asked if she had to give her fingerprint, the lady told her she wouldn’t be allowed in the parks without it. Hmmm. I guess that is how they keep people from switching tickets. What a world we live in now.

I noticed that only people with tickets gained entry into the parks.

Some people had Mickey Mouse backpacks or had their feet covered with Mickey shoes, but they were still not allowed in unless they had their ticket and the proper fingerprint to go with it. Some people were covered in Mickey apparel from head to toe or were dressed as Disney princesses or heroes, but they were still not allowed in without that ticket and fingerprint.

Don’t you think that is just awful? Shouldn’t they have allowed entry into the parks for anyone that claimed to be a Disney fan? After all, wouldn’t that be the kind and loving thing to do?

This made me think of the verses in Matthew 7:21-23. These people are described as huge “God fans”. They have given themselves the label of Christian and go around doing good works in the name of the Lord. And yet, in the end, they have no ticket for heaven.

We can look as good and Christian as we can possibly look, we can be baptized in a good church, and we can do many good works “for Jesus”, but none of it will mean anything when we get to the gates of heaven if we haven’t repented of our sins and accepted God’s gift of salvation through His Son’s death and resurrection. All of those good works and professions and baptisms will mean nothing.

We are told so clearly in John 14:6 that Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through Him. No one.

There was no possible way for me to enter a Disney park without that expensive ticket. Once I tapped that ticket on that little machine and placed my finger on that special pad, I could enter the park and enjoy the day. The same is true for heaven– only our ticket for heaven is free! Jesus paid the price with His very life. We can be reconciled to God but only through Jesus Christ. This is written in His Word.

If you are relying on your good works to get you into heaven, I encourage you to read the gospel of John. If you believe that God will accept anyone into heaven, as long as they have a vague belief in Him or a higher power, I encourage you to read the gospel of John. If you believe that a loving God would never send people to hell, then I encourage you to read the gospel of John.

Because, in the end, it doesn’t really even matter what we think. It only matters what God says, which is what we find in His Word. I challenge you to really read and study it with a heart truly desiring to know the Truth and a willingness to obey it. You will not go away unchanged.

 

The Pitfalls of Living by Feeling

Leave a Comment / October 31, 2014

The following is written by Erwin Lutzer. If you are struggling with loving someone, forgiving someone, or a bad habit you just can’t seem to kick, this is well-worth your time–

Before I suggest how you can cope with your emotions, I want you to consider what happens when you live by the dictates of your own hunches and whims. A life based on desires is an invitation to the sin of disobedience. Often our feelings run counter to what God requires. In fact, most sinful habits are developed by simply following the path of least resistance, by doing whatever we feel like doing. Many of our struggles can be traced to sensuality, and by that I mean being controlled by our physical senses. This spawns defeat, self-absorption, and unbelief. Many people who think they cannot obey God’s commandments simply don’t feel like obeying. Occasionally they have days when they wake up wanting to do what God requires— but not often. Our fallen human nature never feels like obeying God; usually it wants to do its own thing. This attitude comes from Satan as he suggests to us— as he did to Eve— that God has asked us to obey commands that we cannot or need not keep. If we think we can’t obey God until we feel like it, we will never get off the ground in our spiritual lives.

Let’s be specific. In his book on overcoming difficulties in marriage, Jay Adams writes of a particular counseling situation in which all love had been drained from the marriage and the partners had already agreed to a divorce. Neither one had committed a serious sin against the marriage. They just didn’t feel in love anymore. They went to the counselor hoping he would confirm their decision that since there was no feeling left, they should divorce. The couple was shocked to find the counselor saying, “If you don’t love each other, there is only one thing to do: You will have to learn to love one another.” The couple was incredulous. “How can you learn to love someone? You can’t produce feelings out of thin air!” The counselor explained that in the Bible, God commands us to love one another. When the husband was told that he should love his wife as Christ loved the church, he gasped. He could never do that. But the counselor persisted. He explained that the husband should begin on a lesser level. The Bible also commands us to love our neighbor, and since his wife is his closest neighbor, he should love her. But even so, the husband rejected the idea that he could love his wife that way. Then the counselor explained that he was still not off the hook, for God had commanded us to love even our enemies! This couple had made a common error; they had equated love with feelings. In the Bible, love is not a feeling. We can learn to love, even though we begin with little or no emotional impetus. In other words, we can choose to love. And God gives us the grace to do so.

Love is not an emotion; neither is forgiveness. The Bible commands us to put away all bitterness (Eph. 4: 31); we are to forgive others whether they solicit our forgiveness or not (v. 32). Yet many Christians believe that they can’t forgive until they feel like it! They think that if they forgive when they don’t feel like it, they are hypocritical. However, if forgiveness were an emotion, God would be commanding us to do the impossible. We cannot switch our emotions on and off. We cannot develop the right feelings on our own. But God is not mocking us when He tells us to forgive; we can choose to do so, whether we feel like it or not. Never try to skirt God’s commands under the pretense that you don’t feel like obeying Him. A second danger of living by feelings is that you may tend to derive your doctrine from feelings. If you believe God is with you just because “He feels so close,” you will also believe there are days when He forsakes you because “He feels so far away.” The assurance of God’s presence does not come by feelings, but by faith (Heb. 13: 5). Fortunately, you don’t always have to feel God’s presence to be in fellowship with Him and to make spiritual progress.

Lutzer, Erwin W. (2010-01-01). Getting to No: How to Break a Stubborn Habit (p. 104). David C Cook. Kindle Edition.

 

 

Dealing with Difficult People: Part 2

Leave a Comment / October 30, 2014

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Difficult people. We all have them in our lives. How do we wrestle with impossible, unpleasant situations over which we have no control? How do we work through the anger and the frustration and the hopelessness when someone keeps hurting us–over and over again. I have really been thinking about this a lot lately.

If you are a regular reader, you may remember Part 1. You can read it here. If you haven’t read it, I suggest you do. What I wrote there truly revolutionized how I view difficult people in my life. It was written a  few months ago and it was never intended to have a Part 2. However, God has led me to think further about this topic that is so painful and affects so many people. This is my first paragraph from Part 1–

Have you ever had to deal with someone you just couldn’t make happy? Or perhaps it is someone who lies constantly, is consistently unkind, or very angry? Or maybe they just absolutely exhaust you by telling you all of their woes? Sometimes, if they are friends, we can gently extricate ourselves from these relationships. But, many times, we can’t. We may go to church together. Or we may work together. More often than not, our difficult relationships are within our own families.

If you can relate to this, then I think you will find this post helpful. I would like to share some specific steps we can take to work through a never-ending and seemingly hopeless situation. Notice I did not say “easy” steps. But we need to remember that oftentimes the hardest steps yield the greatest rewards. And if you can take these steps–one slow step at a time– I promise that the bitterness that is welling inside you will dissipate and you will grow stronger spiritually. I can promise you this because these steps are straight from scripture.

1. Submit to God’s sovereignty in your life. This is the first step we need to take in any difficult and troubled situation. It is how we need to view any frustrating and annoying person we come across. We can never change someone else, so we need to instead turn our eyes to God and recognize that He has allowed this person or situation in our life for a reason. It is probably to help us grow more like Christ. We can shake our fist at God and rail that it isn’t fair or we can submit humbly and ask God what He wants to teach us through this. Both attitudes have consequences. If we choose to be angry, then we will grow hard and bitter. If we choose to submit, we will be filled with the peace that passeth understanding. It is our choice. Of course, Romans 8:28-30 is perfect for this idea of God’s Sovereignty but also check out Philippians 1:6 and Romans 5:1-5.

2. Love and forgive the other person(s). So, I know this one is a whole lot easier to write than it is to do. But I didn’t come up with this one on my own. This comes straight from the pages of scripture. Check out Matthew 5:44-48 and Luke 6:27. And then turn to Matthew 6:14-15 and Ephesians 4:31-32. There are many more. I just picked a couple. It would seem that loving our enemies and forgiving them are a pretty big part of a genuine Christian faith. We don’t have a choice here.

So how do we do this? I am going to share something that has helped me tremendously. When I am at the end of myself and have no love to offer or forgiveness to extend, I ask the Lord to fill me with His love and forgiveness for that person. And He answers that prayer! You see, sometimes we are humanly incapable of giving that love and forgiveness. But God is all-powerful and He has provided the Holy Spirit to guide and strengthen us. He will help us. Keep in mind that this is not a once and done thing. It is often a prayer that we need to pray for weeks, months, or even years. But don’t stop asking. And He won’t stop answering.

3. Surround yourself with godly people who will build you up. When we are struggling and suffering, it’s important we don’t fall prey to the very human temptation to hang out with those who will help us point a finger of blame, talk unkindly about the other person, and excuse our sinful attitudes. Instead, surround yourself with friends who will encourage you to respond correctly and biblically. Look up Proverbs 27:5-6 and Proverbs 13:20.

Again, not easy. I know when I am really upset, the last thing I want is someone telling me what the Bible says. And, look, I’m not talking about one of those friends who annoyingly always seems to have the answer and is quite arrogant in the way they give it to you. With friends like that who needs enemies?? No, I am talking about a true and wise friend who will listen and empathize, pray with you and for you, and will lovingly challenge your sinful attitudes.

4. Don’t allow Satan to get a foothold in your life because of this situation. This is best done by controlling our thought life! When we feel our thoughts spiraling out of control, we need to consciously choose to think about something else. We need to carefully refuse to let our thoughts take us down to that dark pit where we feel hopeless and full of despair. We need to very purposefully turn away from the angry and bitter thoughts that can so easily consume us. Honestly, this takes work and a lot of prayer but it does get easier! Check out Ephesians 4:26-27 and 2 Timothy 2:22-26.

5. Be thankful. This can be tough. These situations can utterly and completely take over our lives. So grab yourself an empty notebook and start a thankful journal. You will be shocked at how much you have for which to be truly thankful. God has blessed all of us in a myriad of ways. Start writing it down and see how this little exercise in gratitude helps to move your focus from your woes to your blessings. I Thessalonians 5:18 and Ephesians 5:20 are just two of many verses in scripture about gratitude.

I hope these steps help you. It won’t be instant and it won’t be easy, but if you can follow them, I truly believe God will work in your heart and your life to grow you tremendously through this trial. An added bonus will be the ability to become that friend who can help others when you get to the other side of this trial. You will really be able to understand the challenges faced by someone going through a similar situation and will be able to be used by God in a mighty way– if you choose to submit instead of shaking your fist. If you choose to be thankful instead of bitter. If you choose to grow instead of staying stuck in the mud.

Victory can be yours! This is not a hopeless situation! But, as always, the choice lies with you. No one else can make it for you. No, you can’t change the other person, but you can take steps to work on your own heart. If we choose to submit and obey, blessing will surely follow!

 

 

Would You Be Convicted?

Leave a Comment / October 27, 2014

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Have you ever had one of those conversations with a fellow believer about someone else’s salvation?

“Are they a Christian?” we ask.

And then we will say things like “Well, he goes to church” or “She said a prayer when she was a young girl.”

And then it will be followed by a “But he has never really shown any fruit” or “Her life has never really changed at all.

Can I just say: I never want to be that person. I never want people to wonder whether or not I am a true believer. I never want anyone to say they never saw any fruit in my life. I will never be perfect this side of heaven–a sad, but altogether true, fact–but I want to be moving the right direction and I want it to be obvious to all people I meet– and perhaps even more obvious to the people I live with (that know me best)– that I am, first and foremost, a disciple of Jesus Christ.

I recently had a conversation with a friend who told me about an exercise a special speaker had with a group of Christian youth. This speaker had brought up one of their teachers and asked the students to present evidence that would indicate that this teacher was godly. The students, and even some adults,  were able to present lots of fruit that showed that this teacher was following Jesus whole-heartedly.

And so we have to ask ourselves–does the fruit that is evident in my life show people that I am saved? Or does it cause people to wonder if I am saved?

And, look, let’s get beyond the basics that so many of us Christians are so good at– going to church faithfully and owning a Bible or two. Let’s dig deeper.

Using Galatians 5:19-23 as our guide, here are a couple of questions to determine how much fruit is on our life’s tree–

~How often do you get angry–really angry?

~Are you completely honest on your tax return or with your boss at work?

~Do you regularly fill your mind with thoughts of fornication, adultery, violence, and bad language through the TV shows and movies you watch, the music you listen to, and the games you play, even though God expressly forbids these things and calls them sin?

~Do you relish talking about others?

~Are you depressed or sad all the time?

~Is self-control evident in how you deal with finances, eating, and how you spend your time?

~Do you enjoy a good party and see no harm in getting drunk once in awhile?

~Do you think a little witchcraft never hurt anyone and have no problem bringing something that deals with the supernatural into your home– considering it all just good fun?

~Are you faithful to your spouse, not only in the typical sense, but also in what you say about him or her to others?

~Are you so focused on your own ambitions that people know they’d better stay out of your way? Whether it’s as small as picking a restaurant or as big as choosing a career– does your family feel like you always have to win? Do you ever concede your own personal preference just for the sake of others?

~Do you worry about the future so much that it steals joy from the present moment? Do you struggle with anxiety?

These are all really difficult questions, aren’t they? And, quite naturally, our first inclination is to think about someone else who seems to have no fruit instead of taking a long, hard look at ourselves. But let’s stop looking around for just a moment and bring it back to ourselves. This post is not about judging the salvation of somebody else. We can never know that. That is for God alone to judge.

And let’s remember: We will never be perfect. So let’s just clear that up once and for all. So if any of these things are struggles in your life it doesn’t mean that you aren’t saved. We all have struggles with sin. Not one of us is exempt.

This is about looking honestly at ourselves.

Let’s think for just a moment about our own life. What is the overall pattern of our life? If we were to go on trial for Christianity, would we be convicted? Would others be able to present enough evidence to show that we are a true believer in Jesus Christ? Would our own family be willing to give testimony for this?

Remember, it’s not about perfection. It’s about direction.*

What is your direction this morning? Does anything need to change? Recognizing that you are headed the wrong direction is the first step to change. And, as my friend, Trent, testified in his testimony (read it here)–if there no fruit whatsoever, it means there is probably no salvation, either.

And, once again, we go back to the Word of God, don’t we? Studying it, knowing it, and using it as our guide for life. If we are just hearing it and not doing it, we are going to miss out on a lot of blessings (James 1:23-25). And people are going to wonder: Is that person even saved?

Let’s make sure that is never a question that people ask about us! Let’s be so loaded down with good fruit that it is clear to everyone around us that we are living our lives wholly for Jesus!

 

*I think this may be my all-time favorite quote by John MacArthur. I need to give credit where credit is due!

If you have been challenged or helped by this post would you consider sharing it? Thank you!

 

 

 

How Do I Know?

7 Comments / September 5, 2018

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I sat in the audience, not quite believing my ears. As I looked around me, I could see women, eyes focused intently, soaking in every word the woman was speaking. Ann Voskamp, a well-known and much-beloved author and speaker, was speaking truth and lies so subtly and tightly intertwined together that I had a really difficult time nailing down just exactly what was wrong with what she was saying. Listening to her and trying to discern truth from error was like trying to wrap your fingers around jello. In other words, almost impossible.

But I knew something was seriously wrong.

Afterwards, I went home and did some research. What exactly was wrong came to light and I knew from that point on that she was not going to be an author I read. Ever. See here and here for more information.

Now, if you are an Ann Voskamp fan, I apologize. This post is not about her and I am certainly not going to judge her heart or her motive. And I know that she has lots of good things to say. But as my dad has often said: Are you going to eat a delicious brownie that contains 1% poison? I definitely choose not to, especially when it comes to the spiritual food I ingest.

So how do I know what is true and what is false? When one of my friends asked me this week how I personally discern between true and false authors, I thought that perhaps the steps I take to discern may be beneficial for some of you, as well, so I thought I’d share them this morning. Here are the tests I run for teachers that help me determine if they are someone I should be spending my God-given time and resources on reading or listening to–

1. Most importantly, by far, is their message. Does what they are saying go with the Bible 100% of the time? Especially concerning what God tells us in His Word about sin, repentance, Jesus, salvation, sanctification, and separation from the world. If they say something new and different that hasn’t been taught for thousands of years, I stop to pause. God didn’t suddenly give personal insight to an author or speaker that differs from His Word.

He also doesn’t change His Word to match the culture, which is what so many preachers are claiming these days. God’s Word has stood the test of time and if anyone is preaching differently, I consider them a false teacher.

As you look for reviews on questionable teachers, be sure they are reviews that are biblically based and not personal vendettas aimed at the person. There should always be a clear scriptural reason why they are considered a false teacher.

2. Do they claim to have personal revelation from God? This is almost always a red flag. I am not saying that the Holy Spirit doesn’t press upon us and guide us, but what I am saying is if an author claims that he or she has had a personal message from Jesus (such as Sarah Evans does in Jesus Calling) I will not read them. This is a classic occultic practice and if you do any research at all, you will find that almost all occultic and new age books have been written with the help of a “spirit guide”. This is no different.

Jesus is not giving special messages to certain persons. We have The Bible and that is all we need for a faithful walk with Him.

3. Who does the person cite and admire? This one is a little trickier. Sometimes well-meaning men and women will err in this area. But if I read that Catholic mystics or other blatantly false teachers and doctrines have shaped their ministry (such as is the case with Tony Campolo), my ears are immediately perked. We are changed by what we read. It is so important.

I remember the time a year or two ago when a pastor was checking out my blog. He told me the first page he went to was my Favorite Books page. He did a wise thing because you can tell an awful lot about a person by the books they read. And the authors they cite. And the preachers and speakers they promote.

4. Is the person and their message popular with the world? Most teachers of truth are not well-beloved by the world, because the message they bring is one of self-sacrifice and total submission to the Savior. It is not a message that the world wants to hear. I am always wary if their book has reached the best seller list.

And, more recently, I even look to see if the person or their message is popular in the church. Because of the post-modern state the church is in, this, too, is also often a big red flag.

5. If I am still unsure after items 1-4, I will see what I can find out about their personal lives. With a little research online, I can often find out some information about their lifestyle and life choices. I want to know if they are living godly lives. You have to do this very carefully, because any warped person can give a scathing “testimony” on some unknown blog. Check for legitimate sources and for multiple matching accounts of problems.

Many of these things I have listed here are only possible by, first and foremost, knowing God’s Word and understanding who God is, as defined in scripture. We cannot properly discern if we spend no time in the Word. In fact, we are studying 2 Peter right now in Bible Study and chapter 2 describes false teachers. We are learning what to look for and how to discern through this study. I highly recommend Kay Arthur’s inductive study of this book to get you started if you are serious about wanting to learn to discern.

I also believe that a good knowledge of general history and church history is also extremely helpful in discerning in these current times. For example, if you realize that many men and women were martyred at the hands of the Catholics during the reformation, you will understand why there is such a big problem trying to unify with this false system today. It helps to know what has happened in the past to discern the current times.

I also believe that a natural skepticism is necessary in this dangerous age we live in. The Christian bookstore is like a spiritual minefield these days and we need to shop for Christian books with that in mind. It is hard to get past the security and safety we used to feel in a Christian place (not only bookstores, but libraries of our churches and institutes of higher learning, as well) but, unfortunately, it has changed and we need to recognize this and be on guard even in places that are called “Christian”.

It is not my wish to upset you this morning. I rarely name names on this blog but the bottom line is this: We are being fed a steady diet of unbiblical doctrine and it is slowly– but surely– changing the church. It is slowly–but surely– changing you and me.

It is so important that we stand up for what is right and true, according to God’s Word and stop trying to make everybody happy — because it isn’t going to happen. We have a responsibility for ourselves, and for our families, to know the difference between the true and the false. We live in perilous times, my friend, and it is critical that we learn to discern using God’s Word (I John 4:1; Matthew 24:24; Matthew 10:16; 2 Corinthians 11:3-4; 2 Peter 2:1-3).

 If you have been challenged or helped by this post would you consider sharing it? Thank you!

 

 

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