Struggles – Page 30 – Growing 4 Life

Java Joe’s and the Death of a Dream

2 Comments / June 25, 2012 March 19, 2017

There is an old brick house we pass each year on the way to the beach. One year I saw that this house had become Java Joe’s, an adorable little coffee house. It looked like a great place to enjoy a cup of coffee with a friend and I wished I live closer. But then I noticed a year or two later that Java Joe’s looked deserted. I wondered why it looked closed on a weekday. It seemed so odd. And then last week, on our way to the beach, we passed it again and saw that the building is for sale. Sadly, I realized that the cute little coffee shop is no longer in existence.

My thoughts turned towards the owner who first dreamed of opening a coffee shop someday. I imagined how he must have found the proper piece of real estate to make his dream come true. He probably excitedly prepared plans to turn the old house into a coffee shop and was filled with anticipation as opening day approached. I wondered if the first few months were all he hoped or if it seemed destined for failure from the beginning? This owner had a dream and he went for it! But the dream died the day Java Joe’s closed permanently. Perhaps the owner moved on to bigger and better dreams or maybe he gave up and still bares the scars of his dead dream. I don’t really have any way of knowing.

But I guess all of us have had to say good-bye to dreams at one time or another. They are hard, hard moments. Perhaps it is a wayward child entrapped in a life of abuse. Or a failed business that we poured our heart and soul into. Maybe we have never found Mr. or Miss Right and we have had to say good-bye to our dreams of marriage and family. For some of us, our children will never know their grandparents due to an untimely death. For others of us, we are finding it impossible to have a family at all because of infertility issues or the children we do have are handicapped in some way and their future isn’t what we longed for for our child. Perhaps we suffer with a chronic illness and have had to realize we can’t do what we had always dreamed of. And many have said good-bye to their fairy tale dreams of the perfect marriage while they flounder in the real world of being married to a sinner. So many dream deaths. So many tears. So much sadness. If you have lived on this fallen earth then you have had to say goodbye to a dream.

How do we handle the death of our dreams–especially the ones that we hold so near and dear to our heart? Oftentimes, the disappointment and lingering ramifications are invisible to others, making it even harder to work through it all. Most of us don’t share our deepest innermost feelings with the world and so we bare the pain and grief all alone. We are filled with a desire to shout out–

I am in mourning here! Why don’t you care?!?

But the world just keeps going on, business as usual. It doesn’t care. No one cares.

That is the lie we tell ourselves.

But is it true?

Eventually, if we are believers, we understand that it’s not true. That the God of the universe loves and cares for us (Psalm 55:22; I Peter 5:7). We remember that He is Sovereign and All-Powerful. We submit to His will and we make a purposeful choice to have a good attitude, asking Jesus to shine brightly through us, even through life’s disappointments. We choose to grow stronger, instead of bitter, when we have to say farewell to a precious dream.

Is it easy? Absolutely not.

Is it instant? No way.

But it is possible.

It is all a process of submission and leaning on the Lord for strength. We seldom remain unchanged when working through the death of a dream. The question to ask ourselves is this:

Will I become more like Christ or will I cave in to my bitter, hopeless feelings?

Paul tells us that all is loss, when compared to knowing Christ. I can’t honestly say that I feel that way all of the time but my goal is to grow to that place where I can say along with Paul:

Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ (Philippians 3:8).

And so we remember, once again, that we are a tiny speck on the timeline of the universe. Smaller than a speck of dust. And we remember that God is God. He can see the whole timeline. And so we move forward, knowing that God is with us–even through the death of our dreams.

6 reasons to be thankful when following a (very) slow driver

6 Comments / June 14, 2012 November 4, 2017

This week I have found myself behind a plethora of slow drivers. They have included white-haired grandpas, distracted businessmen on cell phones, a new teen-aged driver, and even a granny on a motorcycle. After about the 10th time of being forced to go 10 (or 15!) miles per hour under the speed limit, I figured the Lord may be trying to teach me something. So I started thinking of reasons why I could actually be thankful for the slow (and, if I am honest, aggravating) driver ahead of me.

1. I am receiving a lesson in patience. Oh, how long will it take me to learn it? My brother once wisely said, “I refuse to let a slow or annoying driver steal my peace.” I find myself thinking of his words often.

2. I am enjoying treasured extra moments with my kids. Tonight while driving home at a snail’s pace, we talked about what to look for in a husband, what to do when our friends don’t agree with us, and why kids should go to youth group. We learn so much about each other and have wonderful conversations in the car. Slow drivers give us a few more of those special minutes.

3. I am receiving a lesson in time management. I am sure I am the only one who does this, but I have a bad habit of leaving my house without time to spare. If it takes 15 minutes to get where I am going and I need to be there at 7pm, I leave at 6:45pm. This adds considerable stress to my life if I find myself behind someone who is going really slow. I have not included this lost time in my calculations and it means I may be late! This lesson is having a difficult time making its way into my hard head!

4. I have the opportunity to listen to a podcast or uplifting music for a little while longer. We are so blessed with having wonderful Bible Teachers and hymns and worship music at the touch of a button. Does anyone remember the days when you had to move the record needle back to the song if you wanted to hear it twice? And the interminable waiting for our favorite songs or programs to come on the radio? I would even arrange my schedule around what time Focus on the Family was on the radio. Now we can choose our favorite song or preacher and worship while we lollygag behind the unhurried driver in front of us.

5. God may be protecting me from an accident up ahead. We can rest in His Sovereign plan that He knows best. And since He knows when a sparrow falls, He certainly knows my current situation.

6. Perhaps these few extra minutes are a gift to me for prayer and meditation on God’s Word. But instead, in my frustration, I usually end up fretting and fussing them away.

I wrote this list to help me personally. You may have complete and total patience when driving or you may even be the slow driver! But, on the outside chance that one of my readers also struggles with this issue, I decided to post it. Have a great day!

Choosing our path…and then living with our choice

2 Comments / June 11, 2012 February 2, 2016

The other day I was taking a walk on a beautiful day. As I listened to my head phones, my dog was excitedly exploring from the end of her leash. It didn’t take me long to realize that my athletic sandals were not the thing to wear on a path filled with little stones. I would walk a few feet and a little stone would fly into my shoe, right under my heel. I would try to walk a bit, then I would sigh and stop to remove it. This played itself out several times over the course of my walk. The walk wasn’t as delightful as it could have been because of the shoes I had worn on the path of my choice. How could I have kept this from happening? It is quite simple : I could have chosen a) to walk a different path or b) to wear different shoes.

I think this may be something like marriage. To begin with, some of us get on a path we really shouldn’t be on. We choose to marry a person who isn’t a Christian. Oh, we may have thought they were a believer, but it turns out, they aren’t so sold out for Jesus, after all. We all have the opportunity to inspect our future path. If I marry this person, what will my life’s path look like? Will it be smooth, with just occasionally stony areas? Or will the whole terrain be filled with huge rocks that will feel impossible to get around? How do we know, you ask? Our pastor recently gave us four basic things to look for in a potential spouse.

1. The person needs to be saved. This isn’t just with their lips, but showing forth in their life’s choices, as well. (2 Corinthians 6:14)

2. The person needs to be spiritual. They should thirst for God’s Word and think on spiritual things. (Proverbs 12:7)

3. The person should show biblical love. Biblical love is selfless, kind, and forgiving. It is not self-seeking or rude. A good test to know if your future mate practices biblical love is to watch how they treat their parents or the waitress in a restaurant. (I Corinthians 13)

4. The person should show godly character. Lying, cheating, anger, greediness, drinking, laziness, nagging, immodesty, immorality are all red flags showing there will be some pretty big rocks ahead of you. On the other hand, self-control, joy, kindness, and generosity signal good things ahead. And just a note here…of course, no one is perfect. What if you find a great guy or girl that struggles with a sin issue like anger or laziness–does that totally discount them? Not necessarily. But ask these questions: Do they want to change? Do they admit that it is sin? Are they teachable? And we do need to realize that there will be stones in our path ahead because of these character issues. (Titus 2:1-8 and Galatians 5:16-23)

So this is all well and good for those of you who haven’t gotten married yet. But what about those of us who chose our path long ago? It is too late for us to take all of this into consideration now. We have committed to this path and the Bible tells us to stay on it (which is quite opposed to what our culture tells us, by the way). So if we find ourselves already on a path that is a bit stony, it is time to take a look at our footwear.

Just like wearing the appropriate footwear can keep us protected on a stony path in real life, so we can be appropriately attired for our rocky marriage path. Here are a few ways that will clothe us properly and help our marriages, no matter what kind of path we find ourselves on:

1) Dedicate some time to our inward beauty. Many of us do not think twice to spend money on our hair, our nails, or to go to the gym. We spend hours shopping for just the right clothing and preparing our hair. But how much time do we spend fixing up our “inside”? Are we putting into practice what we hear the preacher say at church? Are we reading books that help us to grow spiritually? Are we listening to podcasts that challenge and convict us in our walk with Jesus? (I Peter 3)

2) Focus on our own need for change. This one is really important. Most of us try to change our husbands. We do this in a variety of ways, including nagging and cold shoulders. But I ask you: has any method to change your husband ever been effective? In my case, the answer is no. I have been very convicted of this, as of late. I have to worry about me. Are my responses and reactions godly? Am I being the wife I should be? Do I need to change? If I am honest, my response to that question has to be a resounding YES, I do need to change. I have much growing to do. And so I continue to be challenged to work on me and pray about the areas in which I think my husband should change. I serve a great God…I can trust Him to work in my husband’s life. And He will! He is faithful! I have personally experienced this many times. It is sad that I so easily forget! (Proverbs 21:9)

3) We need to submit to our husband’s leadership. This isn’t popular or easy to do. But God tells us this in several different passages, so it must be important. Each home has different challenges in this area. Some homes have a man who willingly gives up his leadership to his wife. But that is not God’s plan, so we need to turn that around. Other homes are filled with fireworks, because the husband and the wife both tend to be very opinionated and vocal. But when push comes to shove, the husband should make the final decision. It isn’t always easy for the wife but this is the way clearly commanded in scripture. And then there are other homes where the husband is a natural leader and the woman a born follower and she has a difficult time giving any opinion. Wherever we find ourselves in this scenario, it is very clear from scripture where we should be. We have a responsibility, as wives, to do our part in this area. (Ephesians 5:22-32)

Marriage is tough, isn’t it? No matter how wisely we choose our spouse, we will all have some stony areas, and even big rocks, to navigate around. First and foremost, we need to use great wisdom in choosing our path. My very wise husband often tells our children that their choice of spouse will either make for a wonderful life or a very difficult life. They get to choose.

But after that is all behind us – and, for most of us, it is – we need to appropriately attire ourselves so that we are pleasing the Lord and making our marriage the very best it can be!

Facing the Music

Leave a Comment / May 31, 2012 May 31, 2012

A few months ago we were forced to get a new washer. I actually was fine with that, as I had hated my front loader from the day we got it. When I went shopping for a new washer I knew I wanted a top loader. I found a great washer but what they didn’t tell me in the store is that when the load is finished, I get to hear a little song. Not a buzzer or a bell, but a sweet (and rather annoying) little song.

The pleasant tune will play faithfully, not minding what I am doing–I can be in the middle of baking bread or writing or cleaning a closet. If the washer cycle is through, I will hear that song. And if I am going to have clean, fresh-smelling laundry I need to go to my washer as soon as I hear that song. Sometimes I am busy and I forget. Sometimes I am lazy and I think I will do it later and then forget. Or sometimes I am not home. But if I don’t “face the music”, the next time I go to my washer, I will have a musty smell coming from my washer and end up having to wash the same load all over again (have you ever done that or is it just me??)

Sounds a little bit like life, doesn’t it? Sometimes we hear an annoying little song in our relationships. They are warning signs we shouldn’t ignore, perhaps a husband who won’t talk to his wife, a wife who doesn’t like to spend time at home, a child that throws tantrums on a regular basis, a teen that hangs with the wrong friends, just to name a few. These signs signal us that there is a problem that we need to take care of. But we are often too busy or too lazy to worry about it. Or perhaps we have already checked out of the relationship and find ourselves indifferent (this is especially true in marriages and friendships).

Of course, oftentimes, we just aren’t sure what to do so we do nothing. I know exactly what to do when I hear the little song in my washer. I go to the washer and I move the wet laundry from the washer to the dryer. But relationships aren’t always so cut and dried, are they?

But one thing that is for sure: that annoying song probably won’t go away on its own. And it will probably get louder. Every divorce started with small steps in the wrong direction. Most rebellious teens showed signs years before the rebellion occurred. Most friendships showed signs of wear before a break was completely made.

Just like my washer cannot be ignored, neither can our relationships. We have a responsibility to do all we can to mend broken relationships. We need to look at ourselves – how do I need to change? We need to do all we can personally do to fix the problem. And all the while, we need to be committing it to prayer on a regular basis. It can be a painful, torturous process, but the reward is so worth it!

Let’s take necessary steps to do what we can to heal the problems we see in our relationships. Sure, we are only ever half of the equation. But we are half! Have a blessed day as you face the music in your life!

2 Thessalonians 3:13 But as for you, brethren, do not grow weary in doing good.

Replacing “What If” with “What Is”

Leave a Comment / May 29, 2012 November 26, 2014

All of us, at one time or another, have said “what if?” What if I had never taken this job? What if I had moved sooner? What if I hadn’t bought this lemon of a car? What if my mom and dad wouldn’t have been abusive? What if I had raised my kids better? What if a certain person hadn’t died? What if I was a movie star…or professional sports athlete…or music performer? There is no end to the “what ifs” in life. We all have at least a few.

But we don’t have “what if”. We only have what IS. I actually heard that statement on Adventures in Odyssey (find this wonderful series here) the other day and it really struck me. You see, I had been saying “if only” about a particular issue in my life fairly frequently lately. I wish I would have done something in the past and I didn’t do it. So now what? Can I go back and change it? Can I change any consequences of my past decision? Can I wave a magic wand and make everything all better? Of course not.

So, perhaps, it would be better to focus on the what IS. Instead of regretting the past, let’s be thankful we are no longer there and move on with God’s strength and guidance, thankful for the life lessons we have learned. Instead of wishing for a different life, let’s focus on the life we have and live it with enthusiasm and a grateful heart. Instead of wishing we didn’t live in a particular house or drive a particular car, let’s stop complaining and be content or take the necessary steps to buy something that suits our family better.

Through it all, we need to be examining our hearts. Should I even want a better car or house? Why do I want to be a movie star? What am I so upset about the past? We may even find out that our desire isn’t from God, but from our own selfish motives. However, oftentimes, it isn’t about anything like that, but instead it is frustration at something we did or didn’t do and we cannot now go back and change. Or we are grieving and lost and lonely because of something that happened outside of our control. So what about that?

Let’s try to focus on possible good that has come because of unfavorable circumstances. Perhaps a friendship grew out of a mutual desire to live a frugal life because of a lack of income. Or someone came to know the Lord because you delayed in making that decision to leave your job as soon as you believe you should have. Maybe you came to know the Lord because of your abusive background. Only God can see how the consequences and circumstances have changed not only your life, but the lives of others, as well.

We can only live our lives and make decisions based on what we know (which is why it is so important to know scripture!) and then we need to leave the rest up to God. He, in His sovereignty, will guide us and we need only to submit ourselves to His will for our lives. After that step, then we need to make the best of wherever it is we find ourselves in life. Instead of living with regrets, let’s live with a passionate commitment to Christ and a heart of gratitude. Let’s be devoted to making the very best of where we find ourselves right now– at this very moment.

Instead of focusing on what IFs, let’s focus on what IS.

Are you really saved?

8 Comments / May 24, 2012 July 24, 2023

I have a great fear that in this day and age of “easy-believism” there is a trend to blindly consider ourselves saved and then to continue living our sinful, selfish, and worldly lives without ever changing at all. But if our life has not been transformed or changed in any way are we even really a believer? The testimony found below would indicate that we probably are not saved if this is the case. Spiritual growth happens at different paces and in a multitude of ways– but it always happens in the lives of those that are saved.

Last week a college friend e-mailed me to say “hello”. I hadn’t heard from him personally for some time, but my brother (a good friend of his) had shared his amazing testimony with me a few years ago. This young man had grown up in Christian family and spent all of his life attending church. He attended Christian school and even a Christian college. He was a “good” guy. He thought he was saved but then the Lord, in His amazing grace and mercy, showed Him that he was not. I asked him if I may share his story with you. He kindly said, “yes” and e-mailed me this:

I professed to be a Christian at the age of six years old. My parents had been taking me to church since I was born, and continued taking me as long as I was under their roof. My parents sacrificed to send me to the Christian schools all but three years of my elementary and high school education. I attended two years at Grace College. When I applied at Grace, I was asked if I was a Christian. I assured them I was. I went on a short term mission trip with 59 other high school age kids when I was 17. Again, one of the questions to get on this mission team was if I was a Christian. I assured them I was. I met a wonderful young woman at Grace. When I went to pick her up for the first time at her house, her father grilled me in concern for his daughter. The first question he asked me is if I was a Christian. I assured him I was. Before this young lady went out with me for the second time she asked me if I was a Christian. I assured her I was. After being married for a while she continued to ask me at various intervals if I really was a Christian. Time after time I assured her I was. There were many times during my life that I asked myself that same question: was I a Christian? I assured myself I was. After all, I grew up in the church. I walked up the aisle at church and said that I wanted to ask Jesus into my heart. I was baptized, twice. At each and every step in my life my spiritual state was questioned and I always answered the same: “Of course I am!”

I mentioned that my wife repeatedly asked me if I was a Christian after we were married. She did this because she saw things in my life that seemed contrary to what a Christian is. The biggest thing she saw in my life was apathy towards God. When I sat down in church, as soon as the singing was over I settled down for a nap. I never read the Bible on my own. She never saw me praying. Most of my actions and behavior growing up and after marriage screamed that I was unsaved. In thirty-three years of claiming to be a Christian there was absolutely no growth, no good fruit. How could this be? How could someone claiming to be a Christian for over thirty years have nothing to show for it?

I want to tell you today that the reason there was no good fruit in my life and the reason I was totally apathetic and bored with Biblical things was because I was not a Christian. The knowledge of who Jesus Christ was never made it to my heart. I knew many things about Him. I wanted Him as my Savior, to keep me out of hell. I wanted all the benefits of being a Christian. But I refused to put Jesus as the Lord of my life. I did not serve Him. I did not love Him. I loved myself. I served my sinful desires. Matthew 6:24 says, “No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.” Matthew 7:18-23 is a passage that really wakes a person up. It says, “A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus by their fruit you will recognize them. Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord’, will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophecy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me you evildoers!’

I was a bad tree because I bore no good fruit. Every aspect of my life was bad fruit. But just a few short years ago, when things were getting really bad in my life, I realized that all my fruit was bad because I was not saved. At that moment I turned my life over to Jesus, asked Him to forgive all those years I did things in His name, but in actuality was an evil doer. I asked Him to heal my broken life and help me to love Him with all my heart, mind, strength, and soul. The apathy left me immediately. From that moment on I have loved reading, hearing, and talking about my Savior. Making Jesus my Lord meant that everything I did was with Him in mind. See, I had always believed the basics of the Bible, but we are told that even demons believe, and tremble. All those years, though I believed what the Bible said, I had been a slave to my sinful self, a slave to sin, but now I am a slave to my Savior Jesus Christ. So now I can truly call Him my Savior and Lord.

You see, being a Christian is not just growing up in the church, being good most of the time, doing things in the name of Christianity, and even believing what the Bible says. It is a personal relationship with Jesus. It is loving His name. It is serving Him. And it is longing to be with Him. For years I had a list of things that I wanted to do before going to heaven. But now there is nothing in this world that I desire more than to be with Jesus for all eternity.

I want to thank my friend, Trent, for allowing me to share his testimony with you. He became saved over five years ago now and his thirst for God increases each day. His whole life has changed because he is now truly born again!

Do you yearn to know God more? Are you growing in your knowledge of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ? Do you love the things He loves and hates the things He hates? Are you serving God or are you serving yourself? This is a great day to take an honest look at yourself. Are you really saved?

The Key

5 Comments / May 21, 2012 November 12, 2014

This past weekend I watched Sarah’s Key. I always hesitate to mention specific films but, honestly, I have rarely been touched by a film like I was by that one. It made me think of so many different aspects of life, but primarily it made me contemplate my silly complaining and griping.

As the Jewish family was ripped from familiar surroundings and all of their material possessions, I thought of my discontent when something doesn’t work quite right in my well-loved home. I thought of the times that I have been irritated because we need to spend money to fix something like a septic system or a roof. Why is it such a big deal?

As they got thrown into barracks of the sparsest provisions and endured the worst possible hygiene conditions, I thought of my frustration if the bathroom line is too long at the concert or my displeasure if the house is too hot or cold. Why does it matter so much?

As their days suddenly turned from a blessed normal to a stagnant nightmare, I realized the incredible beauty of ordinary. We have so much if we have commonplace days full of cleaning and laundry and paying bills. Ordinary days of untidy rooms, unending baby cries, and frustrations brought on by a trail of mud in the kitchen are truly wonderful. But we don’t even realize it. Why aren’t we aware of how truly blessed we are?

As the 10 year old daughter, Sarah, lay terribly sick in squalid, unbearable conditions and her mother tried to comfort her without aid of doctors or medicine, I thought of my complaints when I don’t feel well or my kids are sick, all of us always safe in the care of a doctor, with whatever medicine is available, laying in a clean, cozy bed in a warm home. Why are we so thankless?

As Sarah was ripped from her mother’s loving arms, separated forever, I thought of the ridiculousness of so many of our complaints about each other and the sheer futility of so many of our disagreements and arguments. Why are we so petty?

As Sara grappled for an apple thrown over the compound fence by a kind village lady, I thought of our foolish complaints about the food we have to eat. The complaints of something not being done just to our liking or the store lacking the particular brand we wanted. Why don’t we appreciate what we have?

What is wrong with us? Don’t we understand how truly blessed we are?

I would suppose not. It is the nature of humanity to always want something better. We often live in a state of discontent, don’t we? Taking a look at history often reveals our thankless, complaining hearts.

The movie Sarah’s Key was about a young girl with a key. I won’t go into the plot or why she had a key, but I think that there is a parallel here. We have a key to living the Christian life, if only we would use it.

I believe that key is joy. Finding joy in our everyday lives, no matter what the day holds. We need to refuse to give in to darkness and depression and instead choose joy. We have a responsibility to live with the inexplicable joy that only God can give us. And in doing so, we will see things in a totally different way and show the world that Jesus absolutely does make a difference in our lives–even in the worst of times.

God will use us if we choose joy. How about if we remove the disgruntled look — or even the fake smile –many of us wear through the small frustrations we face every day and instead show genuine joy that is welling up from the inside? Let’s show the world what it really means to be a Christian.

John 15:11 These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full.

Romans 15:13 Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

1 Thessalonians 1:6 And you became followers of us and of the Lord, having received the word in much affliction, with joy of the Holy Spirit,

James 1:2-3 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.

I Peter 1: 6-9 In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, ⁷that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ,⁸whom having not seen you love. Though now you do not see Him, yet believing, you rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, ⁹receiving the end of your faith—the salvation of your souls.

There All Along

Leave a Comment / May 14, 2012 May 14, 2012

I have been buying cilantro these last few months on a regular basis. Cilantro is a wonderful fresh herb that makes salsas and Mexican dishes taste amazing. I tried to grow it last year but I don’t think I gave it enough sunshine and it didn’t last very long. But this spring, as I saw fresh cilantro plants in the grocery store, I would buy one that would last a week or two and then I would buy another one…that would last a week or two. Finally, I went to the nursery and bought a cilantro plant to see if that would be more hardy (it is still alive, by the way). But last Saturday, I went outside and found this:

I stared at it and thought what in the world is this?? I did not plant that there! And then I noticed the leaf and a light bulb went off. I tore a bit off and rubbed it between my fingers. How about that? It was a giant cilantro plant growing right in the middle of my flower garden. The plant was almost as tall as I was. I had been buying cilantro and here I had more than I could ever use right outside my kitchen door.

That is such a great picture of the riches we have in Christ, isn’t it? We long to be filled, so we try to fill ourselves with material possessions, relationships, and power. The satisfaction doesn’t last, so we keep “buying” more…perhaps it is the next level of the job or a bigger house or a different spouse. But the satisfaction always dies and we are left looking for yet one more thing. And, yet, if we are a believer, true and lasting satisfaction is right within our grasp. It is right in front of us and we don’t even realize it.

God waits to give us all we need. He wants to be the One we run to when we are struggling. He is ready to pour out spiritual blessings on us. But we continue to wallow in the mud trying to fill ourselves up and basically making a mess out of things. Buying more stuff only to watch it fade away. Gaining more popularity and power, only to grow old and watch it disappear.

You see, all of life is so fleeting and only one thing is of eternal value. All of our life should be given to knowing Jesus Christ and making Him known. That will fill us in a way that nothing else can. And it will take our eyes off of ourselves and put them on furthering the Kingdom. We live in a lost and dying world and God is waiting for the lost to come to Him, weary and broken and repentant, to give them a new life. But many of us (including me) are so busy trying to fill our own hearts and lives that we can’t worry too much about the lost state of others.

And, yet, just like my cilantro plant, God has been waiting there all along. If we will obey His Word and turn our life completely over to Him, we will be filled and satisfied more than we can ever imagine. Why do we wait?

I am not sure I wanted a cilantro plant in my flower garden. I have an herb garden for such things. But I may just leave it there to serve as a reminder that my God is my comfort and source of satisfaction…that He is my reason for living and my main priority. After all, can you ever have too much cilantro?

Psalm 16:5 O LORD, You are the portion of my inheritance and my cup; You maintain my lot.

Where did the fish go?

Leave a Comment / May 7, 2012 May 7, 2012

This spring we opened our pond to find fish missing. We have had a beautiful pond in our backyard for several years now. The number of fish had grown each year until it had held about 18 fish, a variety of beautiful koi and multicolored goldfish, when we closed our pond last fall. In order to prepare for winter, we had put a small pump in to keep the pond from freezing and covered it with a net to keep the leaves and corn shocks out. But instead of finding all of our fish this spring, we were so disappointed to find only seven of them swimming in the pond when we opened it last week. Seven out of 18! We lost over half of our fish this winter. What happened to them?

We still don’t know. We are assuming a mink or raccoon came in and stole them. Because we live on the edge of a field most of the wild animals can find enough to eat without coming on to our property, but some brave creature must have risked our dogs and my son’s shotgun and decided it was worth the trip. We are guessing it was a creature that prowls about at night. Now we have to figure out how to keep the rest of our fish safe.

We had made an assumption that our fish would be okay over the winter. We had not gone to the pond to count them nor done anything to ensure their safety. We had gone about our lives all winter long, assuming the fish would be there when it was time to re-open the pond. We had nonchalantly made a wrong assumption and it had cost the fish their lives.

Many of us treat our spiritual health like we treated our pond over the winter. We throw a pump in (we go to church every Sunday) and we cast a net over it (turn on Christian music radio) and then we go live our life. But is that enough to keep us spiritually healthy?

I Peter 5:8 says: Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Most of us do not want to think about the devil at work trying to devour us. We prefer not to think about the spiritual battle we are in and instead rest easy assuming we will be just fine. But if I Peter 5:8 is true (and, as it is God’s Word, we know it is) then we have an enemy in the devil. We cannot ever let our guard down. We can never make the assumption that we (or our families) are safe spiritually. We must approach life with open eyes, wisdom, and discernment.

How can this be accomplished? How do we keep our eyes open so that we can make sure we aren’t devoured or even deceived by our enemy?

1) Read God’s Word and pray faithfully. This is tougher than it sounds. I will have a couple of weeks where I read every morning and then I will get busy and find myself having gone a week without opening my Bible. But we have a responsibility to keep our schedules free enough that we have time to include time with God. I am still working on this one!

2) Be sure any resources we read (or listen to) for spiritual growth are biblical. This is a tricky one, because the Christian market today is flooded with books and preachers that claim to be “Christian” but are filled with deceptive, anti-Christian words. We need to constantly be comparing all spiritual material against the words of the Holy scriptures.

3) Use discernment in our entertainment choices. Many people will tell you that it doesn’t matter what you fill your mind with but scripture tells us differently (Philippians 4:8). We cannot expect to fill our minds with all of the things God hates and then be spiritually healthy. Again, this is hard, because we live in a world where entertainment in almost like an idol. But we have a responsibility to guard our spiritual health and bad choices in entertainment may be the number one thing that weakens believers.

4) Confess our sins. This is one I have been thinking about recently. We do not hear much on confession anymore, do we? But in order to confess our sins, we have to ask God to show us our sin. And that leads to awareness. Lots of times I will just go about my life not even realizing the sins I commit against my Heavenly Father every day – even every hour. But if I sit down and take the time to pray and confess, I will realize that I probably didn’t handle the situation with my child correctly or I wasn’t the wife I should have been when we had that argument. Confession leads to a sensitivity of sin.

5) And, finally, we need to always be thinking. We can NEVER let our guard down. In this current age, there are so many attacks on true, biblical Christianity that it is downright frightening. As believers who desire to be spiritually healthy, we never have the luxury to simply just live our lives. Instead, we are in a constant battle with our flesh and with worldly philosophies. We have a responsibility to think about this and to approach all of life with wisdom instead of blind acceptance.

Ephesians 6:10-20 describes the armor we are to wear as believers. Armor is worn for battles. We can safely assume that if Paul gave us a detailed description of the spiritual armor we are to wear, then we are in a spiritual battle. How is your battle looking? Are you winning? Or is the devil winning? Do you even care?

We lost over half of our fish before we became aware that there was even a problem. We nonchalantly and naively assumed they were fine. This same nonchalance, if used to approach our spiritual health, will lead to the loss of more than a few fish, if we don’t pay close attention.

It’s a Choice.

Leave a Comment / May 3, 2012 May 3, 2016

Last night I kept waking up. Have you ever had one of those nights? First, it was an alarm that was accidentally set for 1:07am (how in the world did that happen?) and then came a storm (Oh, no! All of the computers are plugged in! And what about my young plants sitting on the porch?!) I hate nights like that. You wake up feeling like you haven’t slept at all. And you start thinking, “this is going to be a bad day.” That’s what I used to do, anyway. I would give myself license to be grumpy and short-tempered after I hadn’t slept well. But then came that night long ago…

It was one of those nights as a young mom that you dread. Yay! The baby fell asleep. You nod off…for 2 minutes…only to be awakened by a loud cry. Uugh. You head back to the baby’s room to pat her for 20 minutes. You tiptoe out of the room. The cry starts up again. You go back to pat her. She is finally asleep! This happens 2 or 3 more times through the night. Is the baby teething? Or is something wrong? Should I take her to the doctor tomorrow? The baby finally is asleep for the night and then your 3 year old has a nightmare. And so he climbs into bed with you and you feel like the middle of an oreo for the next couple of hours. As you lay there, tossing and turning, the problems of your life magnify and you grow fearful of how you are going to afford something or why someone said something hurtful to you or you worry that something is seriously wrong with the baby and you play it all out in your head. Have you ever had a night like that? They are dark and very long.

But morning light comes. And that morning long ago, after a night something like that, I awoke, took two seconds to remember that my night at been just awful, and knew then and there that this was going to be a terrible day. I could feel the “grumpiness” welling up inside me.

As I headed into the shower to try to wake up and stood there letting the hot water stream down over my body I suddenly had this thought (which I believe God gave me): “It’s a choice.”

What?! Again that thought: It’s a choice. You do not have to have a bad day just because you didn’t sleep well. But of course I do, I argued inside of my head. How in the world can I function on such a small amount of sleep? I am someone who needs 8 hours of sleep. You know that, God, because you designed me that way. If I don’t get 8 hours I get irritable and ill-tempered. But these words kept coming back: It’s a choice. And I stopped arguing because I knew that it was true.

I stepped out of that shower a different person than I went in. As silly as it sounds, I had never thought through the fact that, no matter what circumstances we want to blame our choices on, we do make a choice about whether we will be irritable or whether we will be considerate. We choose to be kind or we choose to be brusque in how we respond to others.

Now, I definitely still struggle with this. But that incident was a defining moment for me. I no longer blame my attitude on a lack of sleep. Because, clearly, I have a choice. And so, even thought I didn’t sleep well last night, I choose that this day will not be ruined by my bad night’s sleep!