Struggles – Page 16 – Growing 4 Life

Life is Like a Bunch of Hangers

Leave a Comment / October 25, 2014 October 25, 2014

This morning I was getting ready to do laundry, which required grabbing some of the empty hangers from my closet. And no matter how much I try to keep them organized, some always get twisted impossibly together. It’s so annoying. Seriously.

And so I have to sit there and patiently disconnect them one at a time.

Yeah, I know it’s Saturday. It’s not a normal posting day. And this is not going to be a long post.

But I couldn’t help but think about my life being like a bunch of hangers all twisted and intertwined together and sometimes it feels impossible to make it go smoothly. Just when you think that it is, another hanger is lodged someplace that takes time to disentangle.

And I realized that it is only through much prayer and patience that we can truly heal from hurt or change sin patterns. Nothing is instant.

Oh, how I wish it were.

And every hurt and every sin affects others. Hangers don’t get caught up on nothing. They get caught up in other hangers. None of us can sin without sowing consequences for others, as well as ourselves.

So next time you have a bunch of hangers and they are all getting caught on one another, think about how this relates to your life. And then slow down and patiently pull them apart. Because they will come apart. It just takes time.

Running Through the Airport

2 Comments / October 20, 2014 October 20, 2014

All families have stories that crop up around the holiday table or family campfire once in awhile. One of ours is about the time when I flew with my 6 year old and my parents to California to see my brother. We were loaded down with luggage and my dad, being the only man, carried the bulk of it. This was before there was luggage with wheels. Imagine it, if you will–two women, a little girl, and a Grandpa loaded down with luggage. I am sure we were a rather funny sight to behold as we walked to the ticket counter.

It was my first visit to California and we all had a great time seeing the sights and enjoying family time together. A week or so later we headed to LAX for our return flight. Upon arriving, we found out that our flight home was quite delayed. This was a concern because we had a connecting flight in Cincinnati without a whole lot of time to catch it. Of course, it was completely outside our control so we settled in to wait.

When we finally landed in Cincinnati a few hours later we were dismayed to see our connecting flight taking off in front of our eyes. My heart sank. I had left my husband and babies at home and was quite anxious to see them. I was not thrilled about spending the night somewhere other than my own bed. We trudged to the closest agent to find out our options. To our delighted surprise, we were told that we could catch another flight home today! But it came with a condition — we would only be able to take it if we could get to the gate on time. It was across the airport and it was leaving shortly.

Oh, my. Now we really looked ridiculous, I’m sure. My dad took off running, my daughter keeping up with him. My mom and I did our best, but we are not runners. On each of our shoulders were big carry-ons and bags because – remember– luggage with wheels either didn’t exist or was too expensive to own at this point. I wouldn’t really classify myself (or my mom) as athletic, so I am guessing–although I didn’t personally witness it– that we were the butt of a few jokes after that run through the airport.

The good news is that we made it to our connecting flight. The bad news is that my mom and I have never lived down that run through the airport, because my dad and my daughter are sure to remind us how silly we looked as we made that run. We aren’t offended because we know it was true. We still just laugh when we think about that unexpected–and quite stressful– moment.

But, you know…

That run would have been totally different if we had prepared for it by running or at least exercising on a regular basis. It would have been totally different if we wouldn’t have had to carry any bags on our shoulders. These two things slowed our journey across the airport considerably.

Yeah, you know where I am headed with this by now, I’m sure.

Why are we so out of shape spiritually? And why do we insist on carrying so much baggage with us on our spiritual journey?

We say that we want to live fulfilled lives that please our Savior and yet we are never in the Word, we have no idea what it says, and many of us attend churches where the preacher never even opens the Bible. We rely on shallow feelings and emotions to take us to some kind of “deeper” walk with God, and yet never search the scriptures for the Truth. We have thrown out doctrine and absolute truth and then we wonder why we are never satisfied spiritually. We are never fulfilled because we have been hoodwinked by false teachers. Oh, be so wary of what you believe. It will slow you down considerably. Only by faithful studying of the Word will we be prepared for our spiritual journey through life.

And then, along with not studying God’s Word, we insist on carrying heavy loads with us. It’s like we have backpacks full of rocks– each with a different label. One rock says Terrible Parents. Another may say Wayward Child. Or Deadbeat Husband. Or Complaining Wife. They may say Sexual Abuse or Rejection or Betrayal. Many of us carry rocks that say Unforgiveness, Anger, and Bitterness. We hang on to these rocks and let them weigh us down. Some of us are so weighed down by our past — and even our present circumstances– that we can’t ever seem to make any headway in our spiritual journey at all. But this is never what the Lord intended for us. In fact, the Bible says just the opposite–

Psalm 55:22 Cast your burden on the Lord, And He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved.

Matthew 11:28-29 Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

We are to cast our burdens on the Lord.

But here’s the thing. Removing these rocks and baggage are decisions we have to make very deliberately. It will never just happen. It takes some serious effort. And, really, it never ends. I know that for me, personally, I have to give some of my heaviest burdens to the Lord every single day. Thankfully, as we get into the practice of doing this, the burdens do feel lighter. Which is exactly what God promised.

And, thankfully, removing those rocks is a lot easier if we are exercising. Because when we are in the Word and learning about who God is and what He promises for those who love Him, we are better able to hand our burdens to the Lord. We learn to trust Him in a much deeper way and rely on His Word. We submit to His Sovereignty because we know, without a shadow of a doubt, that He loves us and will work all things together for good for those who love Him (Romans 8:28).

But by not being in the Word and carrying the heavy rocks of burden, we slow our pace down and then wonder why we never grow.

Think about removing some of those rocks today. And start by digging into God’s Word. Go. Do it now. It’s so much more important than this blog or the news or Facebook. Seriously. You don’t need a devotional or a special book. Just go get your Bible and start reading through one of the Gospels.

And I hope you will think about joining me for our Chronological reading through the Bible this coming year, starting January 1. We can hold each other accountable as we grow stronger in our faith together!

Have a great Monday!

Would you consider sharing this post if it has encouraged you? Thank you.

Wednesday Wisdom: Sovereign Over Us

Leave a Comment / October 8, 2014 October 8, 2014

If you follow my blog, you will be aware of the fact that I haven’t had a Wednesday Wisdom post on here for a very long time. I decided to focus on a few other areas of writing instead. But a friend who is going through some very deep waters sent me the following lyrics. I had actually heard the second half of this song recently and had wanted to look them up and, lo and behold, this morning my friend sent them to me in an e-mail.

I am sharing them with you today, with the awareness that someone else out there in the “blogosphere” may need to read this today.

SOVEREIGN OVER US

There is strength within the sorrow
There is beauty in our tears
And You meet us in our mourning
With a love that casts out fear
You are working in our waiting
You’re sanctifying us
When beyond our understanding
You’re teaching us to trust

Your plans are still to prosper
You have not forgotten us
You’re with us in the fire and the flood
You’re faithful forever
Perfect in love
You are sovereign over us

You are wisdom unimagined
Who could understand Your ways
Reigning high above the Heavens
Reaching down in endless grace
You’re the lifter of the lowly
Compassionate and kind
You surround and You uphold me
And Your promises are my delight

Your plans are still to prosper
You have not forgotten us
You’re with us in the fire and the flood
You’re faithful forever
Perfect in love
You are sovereign over us
[x2]

Even what the enemy means for evil
You turn it for our good
You turn it for our good and for Your glory
Even in the valley, You are faithful
You’re working for our good
You’re working for our good and for Your glory
[x2]

Your plans are still to prosper
You have not forgotten us
You’re with us in the fire and the flood
You’re faithful forever
Perfect in love
You are sovereign over us
[x2]

You’re faithful forever
Perfect in love
You are sovereign over us

Written by Aaron Keyes, Jack Mooring, Bryan Brown

Performed by Michael W. Smith

iOS Frustrations

Leave a Comment / October 2, 2014 October 2, 2014

Well, the iPhone saga continues on at this house. If you recall, it was only about a month ago that I had shattered my iPhone and blogged about the lessons I learned from that experience (you can find that post here). When I wrote that, my phone had not been fixed. I’d like to take just a moment to tell you the rest of that story, so you can fully appreciate the rest of this post.

After trying to replace the broken screen, I finally just decided to call the insurance I apparently had on the phone (but do not remember signing up for). When I called, the kind lady assured me that she would be able to help me and went on to explain that since they were no longer making the iPhone 5, I would be sent a 5s. A day later, my phone showed up. I moved the Sim card, restored my latest backup, and was up and running in literally no time at all. It was so easy.

Fast forward a few weeks, when my husband dropped his phone. But instead of the screen shattering, something happened with his sound. He could no longer hear any calls through his ear piece and had to take all his calls via the speaker phone. Once again, I was on the phone with the insurance company.

But this time it would not be so easy.

When I called, I was informed by the not-so-nice lady who seemed to have no idea what she was doing that I would need to fax an affidavit and proof of my I.D. to them before they could process this claim. They could not approve the claim before I did this. When I asked for her supervisor and explained that I had just made a claim on another phone without doing this, she told me this was standard and there were no exceptions. Hmmm. Okay. Slightly annoyed, I did as I was told. When the approval finally came through it was for an iPhone 5. No problem there. I found it curious, given what the agent had told me the month before, but not a problem.

A couple of days later, the phone arrived. When I went to get started exchanging the phones last night, the tiny screen of the new iPhone informed me that no backups could be restored until the operating system was updated. Upon investigating further, I realized that the phone they had sent me only had iOS 6. At that point, I knew we were not looking at some easy fix. This was going to take some time. I was starting to feel some pressure. It was already pretty late at night and Eric could not be without a phone the next day. Ok, he could but it would be extremely inconvenient. I found myself wondering why mine was the easy and upgraded one. He needs his phone so much more than I need mine. Anyway.

I updated the iOS as requested only to find out that now it couldn’t restore the backup because the new phone was now iOS 8 and his backup was in iOS 7. So. Much. Frustration. So now I had to update his iPhone. If you have an iPhone, you are aware that these updates take some time. We were now at around 11:15. I left his to update and went to bed. This morning at 6:15, it looked like it had not updated overnight. And the panic hit once again. Thankfully, it had updated (must have just been a glitch on the screen). To update the new phone, I had had to set it up as a new phone. And so now I had to go back and erase and reset the new phone so I could restore the backup.

I was finally able to get the new phone in Eric’s hands at about 7:30.

What a process. All because I did not start with the right iOS system.

What I am going to say now most people do not want to hear but the bottom line is this: If we start with right operating system, life is generally simpler.

And, in life, the right operating system is found in the Bible. If we follow the standards set up for us there, we have a better life. I have even seen non-Christians live by the standards set up there and have a really good life because they are living a good, moral life by staying faithful to their spouse, being honest, loving their children and teaching them to obey and respect authority, being a good steward of their resources, and being a good worker. These things alone will keep us from experiencing an awful lot of consequences.

But when we start with the wrong operating system (known by the name ME), we run in to some serious problems. When we are dominated by our own selfish desires, pride, and lusts, we will probably not have such an easy life but instead will be forced to deal with some costly consequences.

Sure, there are exceptions to this. Sometimes bad things do happen to good people. But we have to stop pretending that we can–

–Eat all we want and not get fat.

–Let our kids disobey and be disrespectful and yet believe they will somehow follow the Lord when they get older.

–Be selfish and unloving and still have a good marriage.

–Buy what we want and not go into debt.

Life has consequences. And much of the heartache in this world is due to this rule of reaping what you sow (Galatians 6:7). The really sad thing is that most times we are not the only ones who reap what we sow. The tragedies dealt by bad decisions are visited upon our children, our spouses, and our parents. Our choices can ruin lives.

My phone was so easy because I had started with the correct iOS. On the other hand, Eric’s phone was difficult and so frustrating because it did not have the correct iOS.

Let me encourage you to start with the right operating system today. This doesn’t mean we will live perfect lives (which you will understand immediately if you know me at all!), but it does mean that we will make a very purposeful decision to stop being guided by our own desires and wants and, instead, turn to God’s Word for directions on how to live. You will not only be pleasing Him by this choice, but avoid a lot of unnecessary heartache and sadness in your life.

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A Lesson in Love From an Unlikely Source

2 Comments / September 29, 2014 September 29, 2014

I love both my dogs. Truly, I do. But I have to admit that one is so much easier to love than the other one. (First, a disclaimer– if you don’t like dogs, you may not “get” this post. I hope you will keep reading, anyway.)

We have one dog named Belle. She is small and white and a bit cat-like. She will come if she feels like it. She will obey if she feels like it. She will stare at you with these eyes that seem to say, “see if you can make me.” Now, overall, she is a great dog. She really is. And most times she does listen. And when she feels like it, she is the most cuddly dog you can imagine. But so much of the love is on her terms.

On the other hand, our Chocolate Lab, Macy, is almost always willing and ready to obey, to come when called, and to snuggle. She is happy and easy-going and just an easy dog to have around. She follows me everywhere and is almost depressed when I am not home for a few days. She loves me so much that I can’t help but love her back. The dog hair that seems to congregate in the corners of my house and other occasional annoyances that come with having a dog inside the house are more bearable because she is just so lovable.

The bottom line is that Macy is just easier to love than Belle.

As I was thinking about this the other day, I started wondering: Am I lovable? Do I love the people in my life so much that they can’t help but love me back?

I think sometimes we expect people (especially our spouses) to love us unconditionally, without wavering. And so they should. But perhaps we could make it so much easier for them to do so?

Should we really expect passionate and undying love from someone if we treat them like they are our servant? Or grow angry and irritated at the slightest offense? Can we really expect unconditional love if we are unkind, arrogant, and defensive? If we never, ever apologize or forgive?

Oh, it is possible to love difficult people by the grace of God and His love working through us, but we do it out of a sense of duty. It certainly isn’t because it is fulfilling or rewarding in any way. It certainly isn’t the way God designed love between two people to be.

Instead we so often fall into the habit of tolerating one another.

I have read several books on marriage that suggest that if you start serving your mate and treating them the way you would want to be treated it would go a long way in making your marriage work. I knew that this must be true but when I started thinking about my two very different dogs, understanding came in a whole different way.

It is just hard not to love someone (or a dog) who treats you like you are the greatest thing in existence. It is a rare person who doesn’t respond to kindness and loving actions shown towards them. And it is so much easier to put up with the annoyances and small irritations if we feel deeply loved by someone. Tolerance falls away and deep, abiding love takes its place.

If you are struggling in a relationship with someone today, may I suggest that you start loving that person unconditionally and without reserve? Read I Corinthians 13 right now and put it into practice. Start treating them like they are special and see if they don’t just return that love. And, even if they don’t respond in the way you want right away (this process can take days or even years), you will be filled with the knowledge and peace that you are doing the right thing according to God’s Word (Mark 12:31).

Upside Down and Turned Around

1 Comment / September 22, 2014 September 21, 2014

I find myself so frustrated and even depressed by the weight battle I find myself fighting every day. Every. Day. Literally. Some days I lay my head on the pillow at night and feel great about how the day went. I know that I made wise decisions and took the best care of my body that I possibly could have. But there are so many days when that isn’t the case. Instead I lay down with regret and disgust that, once again, I was so weak.

Quite frankly, this battle has been a great source of discouragement to me. I want to be at a healthy weight. I want to look thin and attractive. And yet when faced with a temptation, I cave. When challenged with the daily habits necessary to lose the weight that I say I want to, I fail.

Now, I need to keep fighting. We can’t give up. It’s against the very nature of our Christianity to do so. And victory is possible! But I wonder– when we are in the midst of a battle that feels like it will last for all eternity– is there any other way of looking at it instead of with depression and discouragement?

As I was thinking about this the other day, it hit me–

Perhaps this battle is a blessing.

Yes, I said blessing.

And here’s why–

Because I can’t seem to conquer this battle, I am continually reminded of my weakness and so it keeps me humble. And because I haven’t conquered this yet, it helps me to be constantly aware of my need for dependence of God in this area of my life and, therefore, reminds me of my dependence on Him in every area of my life.

Think of a battle that you face. It may be weight but it may be something totally different — some temptation that you just struggle with on a daily basis. Are you allowing this to develop humility in your life and draw you closer to your Savior? Or are you stuck in a pit of despair?

While I seem to lack lasting victory in this area of weight in my life–at least for now, I am thankful that at least something good can come out of it, if I choose to look at the battle from a different perspective.

Long-Term Benefits

2 Comments / September 19, 2014 September 19, 2014

We were on the highway, headed back to our campground after a fun day of sight-seeing, when we came upon this extremely slow car in the passing lane. I find slow cars in the passing lane rather frustrating. I don’t care if someone prefers to drive slow, I just appreciate if they stay in the appropriate lane for their speed.

As we scooted to the right lane to pass them, I glanced in the car, expecting to see an elderly person.

Instead, what I saw confounded me. It was a young woman intently texting on her phone. In the passing lane. On a busy highway.

How dumb do you have to be if you are texting in the passing lane?? (My apologies to you if you have done this. I am not trying to be unkind, but common sense tells us that we shouldn’t text and drive at all, much less in the passing lane of a major highway!)

She is so typical of this day and age, where we just do not think through the possible consequences of our actions.

We are so focused on the present and what we want to do, that we care little for our own lives or the lives of those around us. And this is true in many other aspects of our lives, as well.

My husband and I were having a conversation with friends the other night and the subject of friendship with our kids came up. We are now at the stage where we are beginning wonderful friendships with our kids. But if we had tried to be their friend ten years ago, we would have sacrificed the friendship we have now. We had to delay our present desires (our kids to like us) for their future benefit (and our future benefit, as well).

Delaying gratification is not a popular concept these days. Think of all the dumb stuff we do on a daily basis because of the immediate gratification we receive–

~Eat when we aren’t hungry to fulfill the “appetite” of our eyes.

~Choose processed foods and mixes to save ourselves time.

~Give in to our child so we aren’t embarrassed or so they will like us.

~Buy something we don’t need or go into debt to “keep up with the Joneses”.

~Watch something crude and profane to get a few laughs.

Honestly, when it comes right down to it, many of us choose immediate gratification over long-term benefit all the time.

So what do we get if we decide to choose future benefits instead of immediate gratification? I can think of a few, very worthy things that you will probably receive (although there are always exceptions, of course)–

~We will not be haunted for life by the image of killing another human being because we were texting and driving on a major highway (this one is guaranteed, by the way–if you don’t text and drive, you won’t kill someone while doing it!)

~We will have a healthy body.

~We will stay out of debt.

~We will have obedient and respectful children (instead of the little tyrants I see running around everywhere these days! I shudder to think about what this world will be like as these undisciplined, self-centered kids grow up).

~We will become more like Christ.

As we grow more mature in Christ and exercise self-discipline in these areas, the decisions become easier because they become habits. The first few times we say no to that dessert or to buying something that we can’t afford, it hurts terribly. The first time we hold our ground with our kids and provide consequences for their fits, we will feel just awful inside. The first time we turn off that TV show or radio station, we will feel disappointed. But, if you can stick with it long enough, it gets easier because it becomes a habit. And before you know it, you have taken some leaps and bounds towards a better life.

I don’t know if the girl who was texting will ever have to pay the ultimate price for her stupidity. It seems that oftentimes many people get away with the Russian Roulette game they play every day. But we need to do the right thing, even if we never experience negative consequences.

And one final thing–of course, sometimes we fall back into our old habits as we strive to make good choices. That is where perseverance comes in. If you are reading this and are at a bad place and ready to give up, then pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and continue on! We can’t give up! Perfection and perfect rest will come soon enough, but for now we are here to labor on in our quest to become more like Christ, to share the gospel, and to glorify God.

When You Can’t Fix It

Leave a Comment / September 4, 2014 September 4, 2014

All of us are faced, at one time or another, with a situation we just can’t fix-–

-Someone who won’t forgive us

-A child who has chosen to rebel against God

-A church situation that is beyond our control

-A health crisis

-A strained or broken relationship

-A political leader who systematically destroys a country

The list could go on and on…and on. Life is so full of “unfixable” situations.

The older I get the more I realize that there are so few happy endings in real life. For the life we live here on earth is full of strife and sin and sorrow.

We all handle these situations differently, don’t we? Some of grow angry and explosive when we lose all control over our circumstances. Others of us grow withdrawn and depressed. And still others of us worry and fret and complain.

But how should we face the uncertainty and frustration of a life we can’t control?

But before we talk about how we should respond, I just have to mention this–I think the thing I find almost comical (if it weren’t so sad) in my own life is that I have actually spent many days thinking I can control my life–until God makes it very clear that I can’t. When things are going smoothly we often forget to be thankful for the ordinary, don’t we?

Okay, back to how we should respond to these situations we can’t control. As I have grown older, I have learned (and am still learning) some things about this–

1. I have zero control over the events in my life. Let me write that one more time– ZERO control. Our uneventful lives hang delicately by a thread. At any moment they can be disrupted by any number of events. And I have no control over these events.

2. God has full control over these events. He knows exactly what He is doing. He is good and loving and merciful. We can rely on Him. If we are a genuine child of His, born again through the blood of Jesus Christ, He offers us peace and strength in the midst of every trial. We are not alone.

3. Trying to manipulate situations and people usually makes it much worse. I have found this to be true on many occasions. When I try to “fix” someone else or manipulate circumstances, I usually just fall flat on my face or end up in an argument. I have found the best response to be prayer and a concentrated study of my own heart– How can I change? What should I learn through this? How should I respond as a believer?

4. God is all-powerful, but sometimes He chooses to say no. We know that God can do anything. And many of us have seen the evidence of a miraculously transformed life. We have heard of the extraordinarily disappearing tumor or health issue. He is Big and sometimes we see that in a supernatural way. But sometimes we don’t. And that’s okay. I like to think of our lives as this big tapestry, in which we can’t see the design of our lives but God, the master weaver, knows each and every thread — whether it be dark or light. We are just the canvas.

5. I need to submit to the sovereign will of God. And so we come back to this lesson I have been learning all of my life and continue to learn. I find that this lesson is a hard one whether I am suffering from an event that changes life permanently or just a small trial that is inconsequential in the scope of life. God knows best and He is good. I will only experience the peace and love and joy He has to offer if I submit my will to His.

Amy Carmicheal, a missionary in India long ago (if you don’t know her story, you should look it up- it’s amazing!) was a beautiful poet. I want to leave you with this short verse, written by her–

“And shall I pray Thee change Thy will, my Father,
Until it be according unto mine?
But, no, Lord, no, that never shall be, rather
I pray Thee blend my human will with Thine.

I pray Thee hush the hurrying, eager longing,
I pray Thee soothe the pangs of keen desire—
See in my quiet places, wishes thronging—
Forbid them, Lord, purge, though it be with fire.”

Lessons from a Shattered Screen

1 Comment / September 1, 2014 September 1, 2014

It was a beautiful sunny day. I was doing something a bit unusual for me– I was actually on a job rather than behind a desk. A customer had called asking that their summer containers be replaced with plants for autumn. My husband thought I was the best person for the job and so I found myself getting my hands dirty that day.

As I gathered the plants and tools I needed, I actually gave a brief thought to getting my Otter Box case. I keep it for days I’ll be mostly outside or traveling. But I decided not to.

A dumb decision. I can see that now.

It happened as I was walking to my car for something. I heard the text message sound. It couldn’t wait until I was at the car (I am not exactly sure why??) and so, as I usually do, I pulled my phone from my pocket as I walked. Somehow I lost my grip on it and it fell face down onto the concrete sidewalk.

Now, at this point, I wasn’t really that worried. I have dropped my phone countless times and it has always remained unscathed. I was expecting the same thing this time.

I was in for a big disappointment.

As I picked it up, my heart sank. The screen wasn’t just cracked in a corner, it was completely shattered, and yet the glass was clinging tenaciously to the screen.

I gingerly pressed on the center button. It lit up. I pressed on an app. It responded. I carefully put the phone in the car in a horizontal position and went back to work, berating myself and trying to figure out what I was going to do about this unexpected turn of events as I worked.

I went home, put on the Otter Box cover so I could still use it, and mourned (well, not really, but almost…).

This all happened last Friday. It is now Monday and my phone screen is still a shattered mess. It doesn’t respond real well and so any texting I do is almost cumbersome. It has become my “emergency use only” phone.

My very clever son has offered to replace the screen (he’s already replaced the screens on two other phones) and so my new screen has been ordered and is on its way.

Of course, I can’t have something like this happen to me without thinking through all of the lessons that can be learned from it. I thought of several and just can’t narrow it down to one–

LESSON #1

My shattered screen was really a blessing in disguise. About a month ago I had actually removed some of the apps I tend to press whenever I have a nano-second to look at my phone. I had started to habitually pull my phone out of my pocket in all situations and I knew it was a very bad habit. And so I had removed the apps in an effort to break myself of this behavior. This new turn of events really gave that effort a big boost. Because now my phone isn’t even a temptation because it doesn’t work right.

And–believer it or not– life continues on even without a phone. I know some of you might not believe that but I tell you the truth: Life is not about your phone and the world that is held within it.

We need to pull ourselves out of this tiny-screened world so many of us find ourselves in and make a conscious effort to embrace the world we live in—the living, breathing, shining world that is right in front of our faces.

And so, while it is inconvenient, I am not really unhappy that this happened to me.

LESSON #2

I find it interesting that the phone is shattered but it still works. iPhones remind me a little bit of that Timex commercial (it was Timex, wasn’t it?) from so long ago–

It takes a licking but keeps on ticking.

I was certain when I saw that shattered screen that my phone wouldn’t work. But it did.

I think it is a little representative of people. We can deal and put up with a lot. We are hindered and hampered but we keep taking the next step. Our dreams are shattered, our worlds cave in and yet we have no choice but to keep going.

But so many of us choose to keep living with that shattered screen. Instead of turning to the Lord for complete healing and a changed life, we toil through life with grief and shame. How sad, when we could turn to the Lord for a new heart and walk with Him. How tragic that so many of us live under the shadows of heartache, bitterness, and envy, never turning to the One who can help us step away from our past and provide healing.

No, life does not become perfect. Please don’t hear me saying that. But the peace and joy that comes when we surrender our lives to the Lord cannot be measured. These are not just empty words. I am living proof of this, as are many I know. Find someone who genuinely loves the Lord and is living a life in surrender to His will and just ask them. I know they will attest to this, as well.

LESSON #3

“If only” is a phrase that can haunt us, if we aren’t careful. If only I had put my Otter Box case on my phone. If only I hadn’t dropped it. If only I had just left my phone in the car to begin with.

The phone incident is so minor in life, but much more serious “if only”s haunt many of us, don’t they?

If only I wouldn’t have had that affair.

If only I would have married a believer.

If only I would have disciplined my child when they were a toddler.

If only I wouldn’t have gone there that night.

If only I wouldn’t have said that.

If only he or she wouldn’t have gotten cancer.

But the world of “if only” is a shattering, heart-breaking world where we feel hopeless and helpless. It is a world in which we can’t change a thing.

Somehow, with the grace and mercy of God, we need to pull ourselves out of it. We need to submit ourselves to the perfect will of our heavenly Father and forget the “if onlys”. They just serve as an avenue of discontentment and dissatisfaction.

Whew. That’s a lot for one day. Hope I didn’t overwhelm you. Perhaps I should have broken this into several posts. But I hope that some of these lessons I have learned may help you, too.

If you have appreciated this post, I would be very honored if you would share it with others. Thank you!

Making a Choice

Leave a Comment / August 28, 2014 August 28, 2014

The woman was always down. And, for sure, she had a good reason. When I met her many years ago, her husband had already been gone for five years, a victim of cancer. Our daughters were the same age and got along well together so it naturally led to some conversations. Conversations that always centered on her horrible life and how hard it was. She was forever the victim of awful circumstances and– from what I could see– was content to wallow in despair for the rest of her life. I found it terribly sad for her and for her kids. She had been given very difficult circumstances and had multiplied the pain with her “woe is me” attitude.

I just can’t help but contrast her with another woman who also lost her husband. This woman, while not denying the heart-wrenching pain and overwhelming struggles, refused to give in to self-pity. Even through her pain, she was always looking out for the needs of others and ready to offer her help and resources in any way possible, always aware that she wasn’t the only one struggling in life. Her reliance on God’s strength and her focus on Jesus has been an amazing testimony to all around her.

Two women.

Two totally different responses.

I am not judging the first one, because, honestly, I have no idea how I would react in those circumstances.

But the second one? She has taken something horrible and has shown how God walks with you baby-step by baby-step through the drudgery of long, painful days and never-ending, sleepless nights if you stay focused on Him. She has been a shining example of the strength that God’s grace provides when we turn to Him.

You know, when we sin, we will often blame our circumstances. Difficult finances, trouble at work, or health issues give us the excuse we need to become full of self-pity, anger, or bitterness.

But, as I think of this second woman, I can’t help but realize–

It’s not the circumstances but how we react to the circumstances that really matters.

No one can force us to pity ourselves, to be filled with angst and despair, or to give way to anger and frustration. They are choices.

As I write, King David comes to mind. Many times he was crushed by despair, surrounded by enemies, and yet he often turns his anguished cry to praise. Psalm 69 is a good example of this. The first few verses say this–

Save me, O God!
For the waters have come up to my neck.
²I sink in deep mire,
Where there is no standing;
I have come into deep waters,
Where the floods overflow me.
³I am weary with my crying;
My throat is dry;
My eyes fail while I wait for my God.

But by the end of that very same Psalm, David is praising God–

Let heaven and earth praise Him,
The seas and everything that moves in them.
³⁵For God will save Zion
And build the cities of Judah,
That they may dwell there and possess it.
³⁶Also, the descendants of His servants shall inherit it,
And those who love His name shall dwell in it.

He would give voice to despair, but he would always turn his eyes to God and the hope of salvation.

Voicing our despair, hopelessness, and frustration isn’t the problem–It is dwelling in that place of despair–taking up residence in that dark place– for all of our days. It’s never turning our eyes to God and letting Him meet our needs in the way He chooses. It’s growing like a petulant, spoiled child in the face of our trials, instead of submitting ourselves to God’s Sovereignty.

This is a hard conversation. I know that very well. But trials and difficulties are when the “rubber meets the road” so to speak. It’s when we really get to show the world that God is always good and provides for our every need. And it’s when, if we choose to humble ourselves and live obediently to His word, we truly understand the faithfulness of God in a much deeper and fuller way.

The two women, both professing Christians, responded to the same circumstance in totally different ways. One setting a shining example for fellow Christians to follow and the other one alienating even the most loving souls by her constant, self-centered despair.