faith – Page 27 – Growing 4 Life

How to Succeed in Business

6 Comments / May 30, 2013 May 30, 2013

Twenty-six years ago, a kid, just graduated from college, loaded a used John Deere riding mower on the back of his old pick-up truck and went to work. All these years later, that kid and his bride (my husband and I) have learned a fair amount about running a business. If you are interested in starting your own company or are in the process of starting your own company, you may find these suggestions worthwhile–

1. Have a thankful heart. We often joke around about how we had NO idea what we were doing all those years ago. Eric didn’t go into business to make money. He just did what he loved and what he believed the Lord was calling him to do. As his wife, I just went along for the ride. We didn’t pour over profit and loss statements or balance sheets. We probably should have done a bit more of that, but because we didn’t, we know that God has really protected and cared for us in this venture. We have seen Him work in marvelous ways–helping us to meet payroll or feed our family in the lean years. We try very hard to not take his grace and care for us for granted. A thankful heart, even in the midst of the hard times, is important.

2. Plan for the worst. We try very hard not to over-stretch ourselves financially. We know that at the whim of a culture or the downturn of the dollar, our whole business could change. We keep that in mind as we determine what debt to take out. Eventually, we are trying to work it down to zero, but that takes time. However, we have made some progress and can already see some rewards of our efforts to reduce debt.

3. Work hard. This sounds so simple, but we have noticed that there are so many who aren’t willing to put in the long hours necessary to get a business up and running. I think this is the main reason that we have been successful–because of my husband’s willingness to work hard (not mine–I don’t have near the same drive). Any success we have experienced is mostly because of the gift of hard work that God has instilled in Eric. We see so many people who want to go into business to make easy money. What they don’t realize is that the money doesn’t come easily at all and it takes a lot of hard, hard work and many, many hours. Especially those first five to ten years. Success can only be realized if you are willing to work hard.

4. Don’t sacrifice your family. One of the things I appreciated early on was Eric’s willingness to meet the needs of his family despite the long hours. He always (aside from crazy springtime) makes time to talk to me and the kids. He goes to sports games (most of the time) and plays basketball in the backyard. And, honestly, in our early years, one of the ways he did that was by following God’s command to keep the Sabbath holy. He kept Sundays work-free and our family is stronger because of it. Oh, don’t get me wrong–we did sacrifice as a family with dad’s long hours, but keeping the family a higher priority than the business is important for both the family and the business.

5. Don’t give up! Persevere through the tough times. I know sometimes people look at successful companies and assume that they just got lucky, but it’s not like that. At least it wasn’t for us. We have been through some very difficult times (and know that at any time we could go through them again). Eric just keeps going (and drags me with him, even when I feel like giving up!) He refuses to give up and that has benefited our business over and over again.

6. Treat your customers and employees like you would want to be treated. So often bosses treat others with condescension and harshness. We try very hard not to do that. Oh, we are not perfect, by any stretch of the imagination, but we want our employees and customers to know that they are valued as people to us and that we realize we would not be where we are today if not for them!

7. Follow God’s way as written in His Word. We sometimes get frustrated when we watch (or hear about) other company’s taking money “under the table”, lying on tax returns, and not getting the proper licenses or insurances. But, early on, as Christians, we made the choice to be on the “up and up” with everything we do and we have never regretted it. We can sleep at night because we know that we are doing things as God would want us to and that is what matters most.

8. Don’t get stuck in status quo. No matter what business you find yourself, it is constantly changing. Don’t stick your heels into the ground and determine to stay where you are. That is almost a sure way to kill your company. We have ebbed and flowed with various trends through the years. We have adjusted and changed and moved, all according to where the industry was going. We continue to do this.

9. Be Generous. Don’t hang on to any material blessing too tightly. Use what you have to further God’s Kingdom and to support and encourage Christian brothers and sisters.

10. To God be the Glory. Sure, we may have done some things right, but we have done a whole lot more wrong. But through it all we have tried to honor God. Any credit for any success goes to God alone. Along with that is the realization that any success is fleeting in the scope of life. We put our future in God’s hands and trust Him completely.

These are just a few of the lessons that we have learned and put into practice over the years. When I asked Eric to read over this, his first concern was that I was bragging too much on him. And maybe it does sound like that. I do have a lot of respect for this man who is my husband. However, much of what we have learned has been through much heartache, tears, and many arguments. It was a long and difficult road. My main desire here is to spare some of you the same grief we went through.

Many of you are not running companies, but many of these same principles can be applied to any job…any life. It is my prayer that these principles will be helpful to you, wherever you find yourself in life.

Wednesday Wisdom: Once Upon a Time

Leave a Comment / May 29, 2013 May 28, 2013

When writing about the breakdown of the family in Communist China back in the early 1960s, Valentin Chu made this observation:

“The family everywhere is a man’s source of strength and courage as well as his emotional harbor at times of natural disaster and personal misfortune. In China it was even more so. It was society itself. The Chinese communists were acutely aware that their control of the people could never be effective unless the monolithic family system was destroyed, along with religion and conventional morals.”

Can you destroy the family without destroying pure religion and morals right along with it? Consider Mr. Chu’s words as you read the following excerpt–

Once upon a time, men were men, women were women, and both seemed to not only be okay with this, but they liked it quite a lot. More than a lot. They loved it. And they loved each other. All in a manner approved by the Southern Baptist Convention, of course.

Consequently, they loved their life. All of it. Not all of the time, maybe, but close enough to seem crazy from a contemporary perspective.

These men and women would come together to build homes; not the brick or wood kind, but the people kind. They would then seek to have and raise children. Many children. As many as they could have…and then they’d want more.

They loved their homes.

They loved their children.

They loved their God, and it was their love of and devotion to this God that had made all the rest of it possible. Life was good.

Older family members were lovingly tended to and taken care of by the younger. Their wisdom was treasured. Little boys and little girls basked in the glow of their stories, experience, and hard-earned depth.

They all lived, loved and laughed together.

They even ate together.

Are you feeling sick yet?

Is this all just a little too Little House on the Prairie for you? Or maybe a lot?

Don’t sweat it; that’s a normal reaction to the sight of God’s plan for families in action from a contemporary secular perspective. It happens all the time. It’s called “improper emotion sickness,” and while Dramamine doesn’t do much for this form of disorientation, there is a solution, so try to relax. We’ll get to it shortly.

This is just a hyper-Rockwellian fantasy spin on history, you might be thinking. But you’d be wrong. And I think you know it already. I think that we all do. All Common Believers, anyway.

We all know that God gave us something of matchless beauty and power in His ordination of the family, and that we, as we tend to do with every good and precious thing entrusted to our care, have profoundly trashed it in every way imaginable (and then some). So we like to pretend that those vivid, detailed family pictures painted in His perfect Word are completely detached from reality; rendered impossible by the “more factual” representation dictated by the prevailing views of the time in which we now live. We’d never say it out loud—God’s Word being “completely detached from reality”—but we definitely think it. And we act accordingly.

We divorce at rates in perfect harmony with the openly anti-Christian folk roaming the landscape. We pursue relationships and romance in the same distinctly unbiblical manners so highly esteemed and advocated by the culture. We know that homosexuality might technically be a problem, but we love Will & Grace. We value children like the culture, meaning: We murder and defend the right to murder innocent babies just as the world does.

When we do let them live, we abdicate our responsibility to raise and educate our children, instead shipping them off to government-controlled schools for Christ-less “education.”

We define success just as the world does, exalting the pursuit of careers, education, titles, cars, and houses well above the pursuit of a large and growing Bible-centered and happy home.

In short, we are the world. There is no discernable, substantive difference. So what is the solution to all of these profound problems and “improper emotion sickness” too?

Is it a new ten- or twelve-step program?

Maybe a cool set of acronyms to help you memorize a new ten or twelve step program?

Could it be a cool new hip and relevant ministry aimed at helping you realize your best family now by repainting your Christian faith with a bluesy, jazzy new perspective?

Nope.

It’s just the Bible. Sorry folks; that’s the only real thing I’ve got to offer here. (And no, I’m not really sorry at all…and you won’t be either.)

Buss, Scott Alan (2011-09-25). Fire Breathing Christians, R3VOLUTION Press. Kindle Edition.

This is the first time since I have started writing the Wednesday Wisdom post each week that I have used the same book two weeks in a row. I am about half-way through Fire-Breathing Christians, the Common Believer’s Call to Reformation, Revival, and Revolution. I find myself wishing that every Christian would read this book. In a rather quirky and very readable writing style, the author educates the reader on many of the unbiblical teachers and movements of the modern-day church, using God’s Word as his grid.

The Cool Factor

Leave a Comment / May 25, 2013 May 28, 2013

Have you ever met one of those people that is just too cool for anything?

They are too cool to laugh or be seen with certain people or to go to a certain store. They look down their noses at certain brands, certain types of people, and certain styles.

And they are usually very cool.

But I have always wondered — how much fun are they missing out on?

Now, I am often berated (especially by my kids) for how “uncool” I am. But one of the wonderful things about growing older is not caring as much about what people think.

That’s why you often see seniors marching to the beat of a different drummer–with what they wear, the things they do, and the life they live. They have learned a valuable lesson: do the things you want to (or the Lord wants you to) and don’t give even a second’s worth of thought to the cool factor.

Of course, there is a measure of common sense to this. As believers, we are supposed to consider the feelings of others. I am not talking about that here. I am talking about doing (or not doing) something because you are scared of what people will say about you.

I have always been somewhat of a “non-conformist”. That can get me in trouble sometimes, but, for the most part, I wouldn’t want to live life any other way. So I am usually willing to try anything at least once.

Take my experience a few years ago in Dominican Republic. They were giving free scuba diving lessons in the pool for resort guests. My husband and I thought, “Why not? We are game. Scuba sounded like a very cool thing to do.”

But, I discovered (or shall I say was reminded) that day that I HATE being underwater. I became totally claustrophobic–and I was only in a stupid swimming pool! I don’t think I will ever be searching for lost treasure ships.

But that is because I don’t like it. No because I feel like someone else wants me to scuba dive or not scuba dive.

This takes on spiritual meaning when we consider that standing up for our convictions is often very uncool.

It is just not cool to avoid certain movies, bands, and TV shows. It is cool to wear immodest clothing, drink beer, and to tell coarse jokes and use foul language.

Unless we are willing to stand firm and risk being uncool, we won’t be able to make a difference for the Lord. After all, how can we be salt and light (Matthew 5:13-16) if we look and act just like everybody else.

So, alas, I know full well that I am totally uncool. But, truthfully, I am okay with that–because God’s thoughts about me are really the only thing that matters…and if He is pleased, then I will be living the life I am supposed to live…regardless of what other people say :)

Little Lies

2 Comments / May 23, 2013 May 23, 2013

Truth. We are told by the world it’s elusive…it’s up to us…we can choose what we want our truth to be. Even we Christians have been waffling over this word the last few years, moving from rock solid to a bowl full of jello-like beliefes–changing God’s Truths about heaven and hell, our sinful state, and what He calls a Christian to be.

And, honestly, it’s no wonder we all have such a hard time discerning truth. Most of us don’t even speak it.

“I’ll be over in five minutes.” When we know full well it will be a half hour.

“I can’t make it.” Can’t or choose not to?

“I am not feeling well.” I am feeling fine, I just don’t want to come.

“I didn’t get any change from that purchase.” A few bucks isn’t even worth mentioning.

“I sent that check a week ago.” I meant to send it a week ago.

“She’s not home.” She is home, but doesn’t want to talk to you.

You get the idea. Most of us do this. We fudge a little to smooth things over and keep ourselves out of hot water or from ruffling feathers.

Almost every single lie is told for our own selfish reasons. Let’s go back to the examples–

–I didn’t want to get yelled at, so I just said I’ll be there sooner than I really will be.

–I didn’t want to deal with hurting someone’s feelings, so I just used the word “can’t” instead of “won’t”.

–I don’t want to go to work or school, so I come up with some non-existent headache.

–I wanted to keep the extra money, so I just exaggerated a bit.

–I don’t want to listen to the money collector go on and on, so I just make something up.

–I don’t want her to talk to him, so it’s just easier to say she’s not here.

You see the word at the beginning of all of those sentences? “I”. That’s because all lies are told for the benefit of the teller.

Look at some of the biggest philosophical lies today–

If man is basically good, then I don’t have a sin problem.

If man can become like God, then I don’t need a Savior.

If there is no hell, then I am not accountable.

If I am free to do anything I want to in Christ, then I can do whatever I want to do.

You see, all lies are told because we want something to be the way we want it to be.

I submit to you that until we hold the highest standard for speaking truth in our own lives, we will have a hard time discerning truth anywhere else. When we rationalize the little lies we tell, then we can easily rationalize the lies we are hearing about God and His Word.

Only when we stop rationalizing…stop making excuses…face the facts and turn from our own selfish desires…then, and only then, will we be able to see Truth.

Wednesday Wisdom: Naming and Claiming Our Christian Candyland

4 Comments / May 22, 2013 May 22, 2013

“It is vital for us to understand that it is illegal for Satan to put sickness on us, and there is no good reason to let him do it…It was illegal for Satan to kill Jesus, but he was able to do it because Jesus allowed him. Why? Because Jesus was going to use Satan’s illegal action to bring salvation to the world! So it’s illegal for Satan to bring sickness on us, and we must stand against it. The moment we begin to recognize the symptoms of sickness, we need to stand against them—we need to resist them in the same way we would resist the temptation to sin.” JOYCE MEYER

I’d love to see the scripture reference on which she bases this {very} false assumption? This is just one of the quotes used in the book Fire-Breathing Christians (The Common Believer’s Call to Reformation, Revival, and Revolution) by Scott Alan Buss to show the unbiblical stand of Joyce Meyer. If I am remembering correctly, I read a review of this book in World magazine. I purchased it awhile ago and am finally getting around to reading it. I have not finished it yet but so far it is has been an eye-opening journey into the actual theology of some of the best known “Christian” preachers, motivational speakers, and authors. The portion I am presenting here seems appropriate in light of the news of the tragedy in Oklahoma. Bad things happen to those that follow the Lord sometimes. It is the nature of life and has nothing to do with having enough faith. This is the personal testimony of the author and his wife as they struggled through a battle with cancer. I have a sneaking suspicion this kind of thing has happened to many others, as well.

Here is his story, as found in Chapter 8–

One summer day in 2005, I realized a fear that I believe lurks in the minds of most men and women who’ve given mortality much thought. This moment came as I was standing in the Intensive Care Unit at St. Vincent’s Hospital in Little Rock, Arkansas, watching, for the first time, a machine help my wife to breathe.

We’d been in the hospital for many days already. I.C.U. was not a new experience. But seeing her this way was something very different. It was hard.

She was awake and aware, but her eyelids were heavy. She was so very tired. But that didn’t last.

It wasn’t long after that day that Kristi decided she didn’t need help to breathe anymore, so she pulled the respirator tube out. She’d had enough and was, at that point, a little more angry than scared, I think.

As you might imagine, the hospital staff expressed serious concern over the whole episode, but, in light of her display of determination, they were willing to give Kristi a little time without the respirator. If she remained stable, the machine would be kept at bay. If she was to falter, the respirator would, like it or not, be returned to her service.

Kristi embraced the challenge and proceeded to improve by the hour. In this, there was finally a moment of tangible triumph. Kristi had won a battle, but there would be many more to come, and the challenges heaped upon her would sometimes come from surprising places.

Several on the paternal side of Kristi’s family had become, at some level, captivated by Word Faith Mythology. For those who are not well versed in the expressed worldviews of Word Faith luminaries such as Joel Osteen, Benny Hinn, and Joyce Meyer, one core tenant of this system of belief is that Christians need never be physically ill. Sickness is not something that a Christian must endure. In the minds of Joel, Benny, Joyce & Co., all genuine Christians have complete power over illness and, as a result of this power—a power expressed through the spoken, omnipotent “word of faith”—they are able to deny sickness any footing in their lives.

Christians can simply speak whatever they want, health-wise, into or out of their lives.

Ironically, biblical Christians are always sickened by the expression of such views, but I’m getting ahead of myself…

As if metastasized breast cancer, chemotherapy, extended I.C.U. stays and battles with respirators weren’t enough, Kristi had to also contend with Word Faith Mythology as heaped upon her by confused family members.

If only she had enough faith, she would be healed. Or maybe it was my faith holding up the guaranteed-healing program. One could never be certain. Apparently, the only thing we could know for sure was that if there was enough faith had and spoken on her behalf, Kristi would be just fine. That was a guarantee. So say the Word Faith Mythologists.

However well-intentioned a purveyor of such metaphysical tripe might be, it is an easy thing to see the pain inflicted on the already suffering through the imposition of such a heresy as this. It is difficult to imagine a more vulgar perversion of God’s truth to be deliberately aimed from one professing believer to another in such a dark and challenging time.

But even in this, as the Sovereign of Scripture has made plain from the start, there was purpose. This was another challenge that God had equipped Kristi to conquer with grace. Just as she had inspired so many through her handling of everything from diagnosis and surgery to chemo and mechanical respiration, so, too, was she enabled to present a Christ-centered response to the man-centered mythos of the Word Faith movement.

When relatives would quote particular verses out of context and insist on their “new” meaning equaling a genuine, real-deal guarantee direct from God to Kristi for perfect physical health, she would patiently listen. When a Word Faith “Pastor” would roll into town and drop by to pray a certain kind of prayer over her—the kind that, when done just the right way and with just enough faith, would make Kristi physically well—we would let him do so…with the clear requirement that he “keep it orthodox Christian,” as I explained it to him.

This was more than a hassle, of course, but it was a trauma that Kristi and I had to endure at this time because biblical Christianity has lost vast expanses of territory to heretical movements such as that found in Word Faith. The greater this mythology’s influence grows, the more biblical Christians will suffer.

But at the end of the day, Kristi knew the score. She knew that God was God; His plan was purposeful and had been crafted by Him as such from before the dawn of time; and that sometimes that perfect plan of His called for our great suffering here and now. This gave her peace and strength when the Word Faith adherents in her family knew only panic and confusion. Her resting in the full revelation of God’s perfect Word made it all—even the “prayers of guaranteed healing” aimed at telling God what to do—not only endurable, but glorifying to the God she so dutifully served.

One of my most treasured possessions is Kristi’s Bible, which bears the marks of her diligent study over the last years of her life here. The notes, highlights, and underlines never cease to amaze when I revisit them. Her depth of understanding was a beautiful thing, even more so as it was born though the most challenging of trials.

She was far from perfect clarity on why these things had happened to her. But she had more than enough clarity as to the purpose of such suffering. It was this that gave her grace to deal kindly even with those who had brought this most vile of man-centered mythologies to her during a time of great trouble. She knew that they meant well and were terribly deceived. And she knew the truth. This was a magical formula.

Did we believe that God could miraculously heal? Absolutely! Kristi and I know and worship the God who literally spoke the cosmos into existence, has decreed every moment of His history, and will have no trouble whatsoever seeing to it that He will be completely glorified in every single solitary second of that vast span of time. He is in complete control of everything. He is sovereign. Put another way: He is fully God.

Even knowing this, we were shaky, frightened, and frustrated. This frustration was frequently aggravated, to say the least, by the barrage of “if only you’d have enough faith” moments that seemed to always be right around the corner, courtesy of some destructively delusional family members and friends.

Their confusion and co-option into the Word Faith Mythology movement is but one example of many thousands that are endured annually within American Christendom. As with most accessories available to Mr. Potato Jesus (a term the author uses to describe the modern church movement that allows Jesus to be whoever you want Him to be, rather than what the Bible teaches) , the Word Faith mythos has great appeal. It offers us a whole lot of power, after all, and the benefits literally encompass everything for which a fallen mind could yearn. But make no mistake: This most alluring of options is dangerous to and through its rotten, Christ-deposing core.

Buss, Scott Alan (2011-09-25). Fire Breathing Christians. R3VOLUTION Press. Kindle Edition.

You can find this book here. The kindle version is only $4.99 (at least as of this date) and can be found here.

Baptism ≠ Salvation

6 Comments / May 20, 2013 May 20, 2013

“What?!?” I stared incredulously at my Christian friend. She had just assured another friend of ours that he was definitely going to heaven because he had been baptized. This conversation occurred a very long time ago, by three high school kids trying to sort out life. I didn’t know much, but I did know that you weren’t saved just because you had been baptized.

It’s one of those conversations that sticks in your memory. I remember that we were in gym class during the swim session at the local rec’s pool. I remember the three of us somehow getting around to a conversation about religion, until finally this topic came up. I remember my Christian friend giving this assurance to my other dear friend, even though he didn’t act like a believer, didn’t have any fruit to show he was a believer–why he didn’t even claim to be a believer.

What a lie from Satan to give assurance where there isn’t any.

I was reminded of this incident yesterday, when our pastor gave the perfect analogy. On their wedding day, both the husband and the wife will put a ring on to symbolize their love and fidelity. This ring shows the world that their hearts are taken and unavailable.

But anyone can put on a wedding ring. Nothing stops a lonely, wishful girl from going to the store and buying a wedding ring and putting it on her finger. She can do that and give the appearance that she is married, but does that change the fact that she isn’t?

Nope.

Not at all.

I wish I would have had this analogy all those years ago. It would have helped me explain why baptism is just a symbol of salvation and not an assurance of salvation.

We need to go to God’s Word if we need assurance of our salvation–

Matthew 7

I John 2

James 2

These are just a few chapters and verses (there are many more) of what we will desire if we are truly a believer. Oh, we will mess up and make mistakes often. And, of course, we are all at different stages of growing up in the Lord. But true salvation changes us and our desires. Our hearts will long to please the Savior. We grieve over our sin. We have a desire to live a holy and righteous life, just as Christ commanded.

Baptism has absolutely nothing to do with it.

Baptism is just an important symbol. It’s a way to tell the world that we have decided to follow Jesus and that we are not ashamed of that decision.

This topic of baptism may not even be part of the modern conversation, anymore. I really don’t know. But, while I do not claim to be a theologian, I do try to align myself with God’s Word in everything I write. And I am quite confident that anyone who studies God’s Word will see the truth about baptism. It’s a symbol, not an assurance.

Mixing It Up Right

4 Comments / May 18, 2013 May 18, 2013

Yesterday I finally made time to color my hair. Yes, I color my hair. If I didn’t, it would be three {very unattractive} shades darker and streaked with gray. I’ll go gray…eventually. Just not quite ready for that yet. ANYWAY…

As I sat there on the floor in the bathroom waiting the set amount of time for the color to process (45 minutes to cover gray) I couldn’t help but have some time to think. I remembered the time, probably at least seven or eight years ago now, when I really messed up this process. That was when I bought the boxed kits at Wal-Mart–before I discovered that you could buy much better hair color at Sally Beauty Supply.

In the kits were three tubes–color, developer, and conditioner. The key was to mix the color and developer together and, after the set amount of processing time, to use the conditioner after it was rinsed out. Well, this time, I wasn’t paying very close attention (didn’t spend much time on me, homeschooling young kids) and I accidentally mixed the color with the conditioner. This wouldn’t have been a big deal if I would have caught it. I could have just went to the store and bought another box. But I didn’t catch it. Not until it had sat on my head for thirty minutes (didn’t have much gray back then) and I had rinsed it out and went to grab the conditioner.

Oh, no! Now what?

Well, I had no choice now, did I? I rinsed my hair out as best I could and proceeded to style it. Oh, my word! I had helmet hair in the very worst sense of the phrase. My hair lay, in all its lackluster and vapid glory, completely flat against my head. Hair full of body has never been my best feature, but that was…well, awful. For weeks afterwards, I had the flattest, dullest hair around. It was embarrassing. To say the least.

So why this incident came to mind yesterday, I have no idea. But for some reason I did think about how parenting is so much like this.

The color is God’s Word, the developer is living by God’s Word and a robust prayer life, and the conditioner is love and discipline. So follow along with my thinking here–

If we mix God’s Word with only love and discipline, but don’t have the life to match, we will raise kids who don’t see God making any difference in our own daily lives. If our kids are hearing God’s commandments in church or even from our own mouths, but then, in our daily lives, they are hearing us scream at each other or they are hearing offensive music on the car radio or they see the seething romance novel on our bedside table, no matter how much love and discipline we meter out, our parenting will fall flat.

We have to be who we want our kids to be.

Unfortunately, that is the way that works best. Oh, sure, sometimes, God is in His grace rescues a child from becoming like their parent–and we thank Him for that. But as I observe the world around me and the many hurting families, I wonder if our examples at home aren’t messing up our testimony in front of our own kids. Every time our kids hear us lie, every time we watch or listen to something that doesn’t glorify God, every time we treat our spouse with disrespect, every time we react in pure and unadulterated anger to our son or daughter’s childish mistakes, we destroy our testimony.

Parenting is such a wonderful privilege but it is no easy task. Remaining genuine and transparent in our own homes isn’t that difficult. But setting a godly example and pleasing the Lord with our choices and actions in our own homes–now that’s hard.

I don’t know if it’s always been like this, but I know I have to fight against my own selfish desires every day. This culture, where instant and complete gratification of any and all desires, reigns supreme, has crept into even the lives of us sincere Christians. I really have to work to keep God number one in my life instead of myself.

But, just like that hair color, if I mix it up wrong, it will not end well. And the big–the tremendous–difference is that, while my constantly growing hair provides me with second chances, we don’t have that second chance with our kids. We have to do it right the first time.

And that’s where the robust prayer life comes in, which is also a part of the very critical developer.

And then the conditioner, comprised of both love and discipline, makes this parenting thing go so much more smoothly.

Okay, so my analogy may not be all that great. Who knows where I come up with some of these things? But, at any rate, I hope I gave you a little something to think about on this day.

It Will Be Worth It All.

Leave a Comment / May 16, 2013 May 15, 2013

I derive comfort from these words and thought I would share them with you, as I will find it difficult to write today. This is a beautiful old hymn that gives hope in the midst of discouragement and darkness.

IT WILL BE WORTH IT ALL

Sometimes the day seems long,
Our trials hard to bear.
We´re tempted to complain,
to murmur and despair.
But Christ will soon appear
to catch his bride away!
All tears forever over
in God’s eternal day!

CHORUS:
It will be worth it all
when we see Jesus!
Life’s trials will seem so small
when we see Christ.
One glimpse of his dear face,
all sorrow will erase.
So, bravely run the race
till we see Christ.

At times the sky seems dark,
with not a ray of light;
We’re tossed and driven on,
no human help in sight.
But there is One in heaven,
Who knows our deepest care;
Let Jesus solve your problems,
just go to Him in prayer.

Life’s day will soon be o’re,
all storms forever past;
We’ll cross the great divide
to Glory, safe at last!
We’ll share the joys of heaven:
a harp, a home, a crown;
The tempter will be banished,
We’ll lay our burdens down.

Peer Pressure Isn’t Just for Teenagers

1 Comment / May 13, 2013 October 12, 2019

The boy actually smiled at me. I was a lowly sophomore and he was a popular senior and he was smiling–at me! I glowed from that smile and eventually we started saying “hi” whenever we saw one another. As prom time approached, I dreamed for a little while but then realistically tossed the idea from my mind. There was no way that he would ask me. Until he did. He actually invited me to go to prom with him.

Only I wasn’t allowed to go to school dances.

While all of my friends and my parents’ friends’ kids went to prom, I was not allowed to go.

Funny thing is — I didn’t really care that much. I didn’t know the boy at all and foresaw an awkward, uncomfortable night ahead of me. I was actually glad I wasn’t allowed to go.

But my point here is: had I begged, pleaded, and screamed I still would not have been allowed to go. Even though “everybody” else was allowed to, I wasn’t.

My parents cared more about my spiritual well-being than they cared about my popularity.

I don’t know if your kids go to school dances and that’s not the point here. I feel blessed to have my kids at a Christian school where we don’t have that issue to even deal with. But many has been the time over the past ten years that we have had to be the unpopular parents because our kids weren’t allowed to go the coolest movie (rated R) or buy the latest video game (way too violent).

Our kids have been mocked, ridiculed, and told that their parents are way too strict. We have been distanced and told that we take entertainment way too seriously and that we judge others (even if we don’t say a word — I think it’s just by our standards).

Peer pressure is not just for teenagers. But if we don’t learn to withstand it as a teenager, it will grow even harder as an adult. That is why it is so important to teach our kids to stick with their convictions and to stand strong, no matter the cost–and then to set that example with our own lives.

This can only come when they understand that pleasing God is more important than pleasing self. If we can teach them (and show them by our own lives) that we are accountable to God and to use His Word to discern the best choices, then the rest will fall into place.

But sometimes we fail as parents. Big-time. In those moments, I am so very thankful for God’s faithfulness and for the privilege of prayer.

What is most important to you? That your child pleases God or that he is the star of the team? That she hold to her convictions or that she is the most popular girl in school?

There is something about us parents that drives us to want our kids to be the ones that everyone else wants to be like. And in our quest for this, we sometimes fall to peer pressure, because in our hearts we realize they won’t be popular if they don’t go to that movie, go to that dance, go to that party.

And it is true. As a kid, I wasn’t all that popular because of my parents’ rules. But all of these years later, I am deeply, deeply grateful for their protection. Because in the scope of life, it matters more that I developed a life of biblical conviction than that I was popular.

As parents, it is our responsibility to protect our kids. Even if they don’t want the protection (and some won’t, especially young teenagers). But if you stick to your guns, it gets better. By the way, be sure to tell your kids why these rules are made. Teenagers need reasons. A rule without a reason almost always leads to rebellion. Take your child to scripture and tell them why you are taking a stand.

And then, after many battles, there comes that wonderful, wonderful day when your teenager comes home and tells you about their opportunity to challenge their friends and to take a stand for discernment…the lost virtue. Those moments make all of the grief so worth it.

Oh, my kids still make choices sometimes that do not please me. But then I remember that I did the same thing as a young person as I tried to sort my way through this filthy culture. That’s where prayer takes over.

So stand strong, my friend. Don’t cave. Loving and pleasing God is so much more important than experiencing the fickle love of man.

A Letter to My Children

2 Comments / May 12, 2013 June 11, 2013

Being a mother was the only dream I had as a little girl. Oh, I know many women who aspire to be doctors, lawyers, politicians, and peace-keepers. But me–well, the only thing I ever truly wanted was to marry a godly man and have four children. Why God saw fit to make my dreams come true I will never understand, but I will always be grateful. On this Mother’s Day, I can honestly say that my children are an amazing blessing to me. All the work, the tears, the anguish, the angry words, the worry…they have all been worth it. As I have grown older as a mother, I have been challenged in my opinions and my priorities. Nothing has grown me up in Christ more than raising children. And, so it is with these thoughts that I write the following to my children —

I don’t care what grades you get or what school awards you win, as long as I know you are trying your very hardest.

I don’t care where you live, as long as I know you are serving the Lord with everything you are.

I don’t care what career you choose, as long as you are working hard and are keeping God and your family your top priorities.

I don’t care what you study or what degree you pursue, as long as studying God’s Word is always most important.

I don’t care what you watch, listen to, or read, as long as you choose with a heart that wants to please God more than wants to please self.

I don’t care what the world thinks about you, as long as God is pleased with your life.

I don’t care who loves you, but only how you love others.

I don’t care what accolades, awards, and contests you win, but only that you are a graceful loser and a humble winner.

I don’t care if you marry someone short or tall, plain or good-looking, as long as your choice loves God with all of their heart, soul, mind, and strength.

I don’t care if my grandchildren are child prodigies, I only care that you teach them to love Jesus with all of their being.

Life is short and the choices we make mold the next generation. I pray that you would be bold and spiritually strong and that you hunger for holiness and righteousness. I pray that God would give you a hatred for sin and that you will be prepared to face the battles and dark days that surely lie ahead. You four are such an incredible blessing to me. I am not sure you will ever truly understand…until you have your own kids. Until then, know that you can’t do anything that would keep me from loving you. And I am in your corner –maybe not always saying what you want me to, but urging you to glorify God with your life and to use your talents and life for Him.

I love you all so much.

Love, Mom

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