Growing 4 Life

Where the Rubber Meets the Road

2 Comments / December 23, 2015 December 23, 2015

So many of us consider ourselves pretty good Christians. We don’t drink in excess, we don’t steal from our bosses or cheat on our taxes. We have been faithful to our spouses and we go to church almost every Sunday. All good things.

But there is nothing like a week full of family get-togethers to remind us of our sinful natures. This is where the “rubber meets the road” in our profession of Christianity.

As families go, I am pretty blessed. But in every family we have the potential of run-ins and relationship problems because we all are different– we have different priorities and we have differing views on religion and politics. We don’t raise our kids the same way. And we don’t feel passionate about the same things. Some of us tend to be very loud and boisterous and others of us are quiet and reserved. All this means that we don’t always see eye-to-eye. How that plays out is not the same in every family.

Some families have loud debates or even arguments. Other families are full of sarcastic remarks that infuse every family gathering. In some families, it is just a cold, unbreakable tension that lies underneath all that goes on during their times together.

Hurtful remarks. Sarcastic comments. Cold shoulders.

They can all add up to a real lack of peace among family members.

And I am here to encourage you not to be part of any of it.

As Christians dedicated to growing in holiness each and every day, let’s be the ones that bring peace and unity to the family.

What does this look like in practical terms?

These thoughts came to my mind this morning before I started my Bible reading this morning. A few minutes later I read this in I Peter 3—

8 Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous;[a] 9 not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing.

These verses give us such clear instructions on how to relate to others—practical and helpful as we face a week of family get-togethers and parties with friends.

We are to be of one mind. This is what Matthew Henry writes in his commentary about this sameness of mind that we are to have with other believers—

Christians should endeavour to be all of one mind in the great points of faith, in real affection, and in Christian practice; they should be like-minded one to another, according to Christ Jesus (Rom. 15:5 ), not according to man’s pleasure, but God’s word.

This unity can only be experienced with our Christian brothers and sisters. We will not be able to be unified with unbelievers, as we are categorically in opposition as we journey towards two opposite goals.

However, even if we can’t be unified with unbelieving family members, we can certainly practice being compassionate, tender-hearted, and courteous, can’t we? We can practice returning good for evil. We can choose to bless, rather than to choose revenge.

Revenge is such an ugly word, but in everyday life it can be very tempting to exact. It’s not always something dreadful but can instead be how we choose respond to a person–making sarcastic remarks or ignoring them, as we seethe in our souls.

Every day offers us opportunities to live out I Peter 3:8-10. But there are few times each year that offer us so many opportunities to practice this than during the Christmas season–a time that taxes even the closest of families.

May we be the ones that bring a breath of fresh air to our family gatherings. Let’s be the ones that offer abundant grace and blessing, no matter how hurtful the remark or how unkind the deed. It may not be easy, but we have the Holy Spirit guiding and directing us. Let’s walk in the Spirit and choose to show loving-kindness with a joyful heart this holiday season!

**On a different note**
I’d like to thank you, dear reader, for joining me on my journey to grow in Christ this past year. I count it as a privilege and a blessing that you would use some of your precious time to read my posts. I wish you a wonderful Christmas and a blessed New Year.

My Personal Christmas Carol

2 Comments / December 21, 2015 December 6, 2017

“Men’s courses will foreshadow certain ends, to which, if persevered in, they must lead,’ said Scrooge. ‘But if the courses be departed from, the ends will change. Say it is thus with what you show me.” Charles Dickens

I sat cozily in my recliner with a mug of hot coffee on the table beside me. This was the morning I would catch up on my Bible reading. Somehow with all of the holiday activity, I had managed to fall a few days behind schedule. I opened up my chronological Bible to pick up where I had left off. I looked down and saw that I was starting Ephesians. What I didn’t realize was just how convicted I’d be by the end of reading this short epistle of Paul’s.

As I read through all six chapters that morning, several verses jumped out at me, pointing out a particular sin in my life that I had downplayed until I almost believed it wasn’t a sin. Almost. It brought to mind Hebrews 4:12–

For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.

This particular December morning, God’s word was certainly piercing my soul, showing me a sinful habit that has yielded unwanted fruit in my life. And will continue to do so unless I change it.

A little later on that same day, I turned on my favorite version of A Christmas Carol. It stars George C. Scott as Scrooge and Edward Woodward as the “ghost” of Christmas Present. It’s a great version.

I was working on something else while watching so I wasn’t paying real close attention to the dialogue. But as Scrooge knelt over his own grave asking if these things of the future would be or just might be, it hit me–

All of us have futures that will be that are based on the choices we are making today. Unlike Scrooge, most of us do not have the opportunity to have our future illuminated so clearly before our eyes by the “ghost” of Christmas future. But we do have the Word of God which clearly shows us the narrow path of righteousness and the dreadful consequences of walking the broad way.

So why then do we stay on our path to destruction?

I think it is because it happens so subtly and so gradually.

Scrooge never set out to be a miserable, stingy old man. When asked what they want to be, no twenty year old ever says that they hope to be a homeless drunk or a lonely, cold-hearted woman.

But every action, every choice, and every attitude we cultivate about our circumstances add up and lead us somewhere. And we have a great deal of freedom in determining where that place will be. For some of us it is leading us to miserable loneliness and to the devastating health and financial consequences of self-indulgence. For others, it is leading to peace of mind and strong family bonds.

How easy it is to talk ourselves into sin with a mental promise to change tomorrow. Our pride and love for self keep us careening on the path to destruction, somehow talking ourselves into postponing change. As we read, it is probably very easy for us to think of someone who is really on the pathway to destruction–like a friend who drinks too much or a father who spends too much time at the office but I’d like to throw out a challenge to you: what are the behaviors and attitudes that are leading you to a place you don’t want to go? Where have you decided you are going to do things your way and ignore the principles of God as laid down in His Word?

Of course, the great news is that we don’t have to keep going in the wrong direction in our lives. We can choose to leave the broad way of destruction and take up traveling on the the narrow path of righteousness. Whether it’s an addiction to drugs, food, alcohol, or even to social media, we can make a choice this very day to change. Whether it’s anger, a habit of lying, an unforgiving heart, gossip, sexual sin, or any other sin named in scripture, we can choose, by the strength of the Holy Spirit living in us, to make changes.

God used Ephesians to convict and challenge me to change. And it won’t be easy.

Sometimes change feels downright impossible, but God promises us victory– maybe not 100% of the time (as we will continue to fight our flesh all our years on this earth) but we can have victory over sinful habits. We don’t have to throw up our hands in defeat and shout “I give up!” Check out I Corinthians 15:57; I Corinthians 10:13; I John 1:9; Ephesians 6:10; Psalm 3:8; Romans 8:31-32; and Proverbs 21:31 for some biblical encouragement.

I have had victory over other sins. I know that God not only can deliver me from sinful habits, but He already has done that many times over the years.

And, so as I was reading the other morning, I realized that I don’t need any ghost to tell me about my future, because I have the Bible. And that is enough for me. Because it’s only by being in the Word that we can ever have any hope of real and lasting change–the kind of change that reaches way down deep into our hearts and changes us from the inside out.

How to Know If You are Too Busy

2 Comments / December 14, 2015 December 14, 2015

For many years now the Mommy Wars have raged. Should mothers work? Or shouldn’t they? Are kids better if their mom is at home or worse off? What if Mom has to work? Is it sinful? And what exactly are the acceptable conditions for a mother to work?

Truthfully, I hadn’t thought about all this in a long time. But a few days ago someone asked me to review an article on this very subject. And it got me thinking.

A brief walk through history shows us that mothers working outside the home is a relatively new phenomenon. It may have started during the World Wars–particularly World War II–when men went off to war and women were left to man the factories and businesses they left behind. As we moved into the sixties, women cried for independence and the feminist movement really got going and continued to rage through the 70s. The 80s taught us to want more and more stuff. And through all of these changes a new world was born. A world where most mothers work to support a lifestyle that is now deemed as necessary.

But this post is not really about whether women should work or not but, instead, about a common thing I see happening whether a mom works or not. This “thing” causes our kids to wonder if we care. It relegates our husbands and families to the background. And it turns our homes into unorganized chaos.

Any guesses?

It is busyness.

Maybe it’s a little unfair to talk about busyness during December. This seems to be one of the toughest months to reign in our activities. But coming off of two incredibly hectic weeks, I came face to face with the fact that I dropped a few balls. It is almost inevitable if we are too busy. And this is okay for a few weeks here and there. But when we live a lifestyle of being over-committed and involved in too many things, our families will suffer.

Scripture tells us that, as women, our homes and families are to be our main concern. We see this in Proverbs 31, Titus 2:4-5, and I Timothy 5:14.

So many of us, if asked to write our top priorities, would most definitely put God and family at the top of the list. But, practically speaking, this can sometimes be hard to live out, can’t it? People ask us to do things and we just can’t say no. We get our child involved in sports and music lessons and karate. We have birthday and holiday parties. We feel pressured to get involved in PTA and ministries at church. And, soon, if we aren’t careful, every night of the week has us going somewhere. There is little time left for playing games, doing puzzles, and cuddling on the sofa with our kids to read a story.

And this is tragic.

As I look back over my years as a mother, a few realities have become clear to me that I couldn’t see in the midst of the chaos. While I enjoyed sitting by the sidelines watching my kids play soccer, I miss the times reading stories and playing games with them far more. I miss the discussions with their big life questions that had me digging in the Bible for answers. And I miss the loud dinner conversations that made up our life here.

Last night, my husband and I had the wonderful privilege of having our whole family home for a spontaneous pizza night. It was a wonderful, chaotic time full of fun, laughter, and loudly-spoken opinions. But those times are now few and far between. And it made me think about something I heard my husband say to the Sunday School class he was teaching yesterday.

We are studying Shepherding a Child’s Heart (if you haven’t read this book by Tedd Tripp, I hope that you will. You don’t want to miss this book if you are a parent!) and the class has been learning some wonderful lessons about parenting. But my husband reminded them that changes with how we parent cannot be relegated to someday, like most other goals can. The future of our children and their children and their children rely on us changing now.

Life can become so hectic. We are all given just so many hours in a day. And it’s just so easy to say yes to too much. So how do we know if we are too busy? Here are five questions to determine if you are over-committed–

Am I easily irritated by small things?
Is my home chaotic and unorganized?
Are my children defiant and disobedient?
Do I miss my devotions and prayer time more often than not?
Do I always feel overwhelmed?

I am not the judge, but if you have said yes to more than one or two of these questions, then you are probably over-committed.

So what to do if this is the case?

All I can do is tell you what I did when I found myself in that very same place many years ago. Let me back up and give context. At the time, I was homeschooling my four kids, doing all of the books for our company by myself, and was super-involved in church. My beloved family and home got lost in the shuffle of my over-commitment and I had to make some decisions. So I sat down with my husband and we decided what could go and what was non-negotiable. And then I started eliminating some things.

As a little side note here, let me just add that while I did discontinue a few church ministries, I did continue to be involved. It is incredibly important for our kids to see that church is a priority in our lives. Church should never be the thing that is eliminated from our schedules.

Sure, it was hard to pick and choose, but in the long run, it was the best thing for my family. Life will not stop if you step down from PTA. Your church will continue its Sunday School program, even if you cannot teach Sunday School for this season. And your children will not be permanently disadvantaged if they don’t take music lessons or play baseball. Know your limits and don’t let guilt or pressure from others push you into something you know is too much for you. Keep your family and home your priority–whether you are home full-time or find yourself at work everyday.

And someday, far too soon, you will have plenty of time to get involved in ministries and community groups. Take it from someone who knows!

Treasures Abounding

8 Comments / December 11, 2015 December 11, 2015

One of the very best things about reading through the Bible is how it puts all the pieces of God’s plan for salvation all together. Throughout our lives we memorize verses like Romans 3:23 or John 3:16, but reading and studying these verses in context makes them so much more meaningful and deepens our insight by leaps and bounds. We hear of the heroes of the faith from the Old Testament, but actually reading their stories and following the history of the Jewish people and their laws helps us to understand the need for salvation and God’s plan for humanity in a way that is quite impossible without actually reading through the Old Testament.

It is so hard to believe that the Growing4Life Bible Challenge 2015 is drawing to a close. We are on Week 49. That means that if you have stuck with me this year, you have almost made it through reading the entire Bible! (If you just found Growing4Life and didn’t know about the challenge, I will leave the information on the blog, as it can be done any year and maybe you will want to tackle it for 2016!)

My last two weeks have been crazy busy so now I am a few days behind in the Bible Reading schedule. So this means that I started Romans today. Wow, what an incredible book! Even though I have read it several times before, this morning I read it afresh with new eyes and deeper insight–perhaps it is because I now have the historical perspective of the Old Testament. Whatever the reason, this morning I realized that there is much treasure to be mined in the book of Romans!

Romans is the book to read if you want proof that we are ALL sinners, born with unregenerate and darkened hearts (Romans 3:10-11). It’s here that we understand that salvation is based on faith alone (Romans 3:23-26). Romans also shows us why salvation and God’s grace is not a “get out of jail free card”, giving us the right to continue in sin (Romans 6:1-2). And it’s the book to read to find out why there is no acceptable excuse for anyone to reject God (Romans 1:19-20) and why we must continue to proclaim that homosexuality is a sin (Romans 1:26-27). It also shows us that these sins rank right up there with homosexuality–

And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a debased mind, to do those things which are not fitting; being filled with all unrighteousness, sexual immorality,© wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, evil-mindedness; they are whisperers, backbiters, haters of God, violent, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, undiscerning, untrustworthy, unloving, unforgiving,9 unmerciful; 32 who, knowing the righteous judgment of God, that those who practice such things are deserving of death, not only do the same but also approve of those who practice them. (Romans 1:28-32)

I don’t know about you, but looking over that list is a little sobering when we think about the Christians–including perhaps ourselves–who are caught up in such sins like pride, lack of love, and unforgiveness. Oftentimes, we aren’t even willing to call these things sin but instead convince ourselves that they are personality quirks or are some kind of psychological dysfunction.

Actually, Romans flies in the face of much that is being taught in mainstream Christianity today. If you want to know and understand basic Christian doctrines, as they have been taught through the ages, read Romans. If you want to be able to defend a biblical world view using scripture, study this book. I cannot believe how much is in there and I have only read the first six chapters!

I would like to come back and study it some more. But for right now, I will enjoy reading the profound truths held within its pages. I hope that you, too, will read this book– even if you aren’t participating in the Bible challenge. While it is certainly filled with unpopular truths that the unregenerate are not interested in hearing, if we are truly saved, this book will be a balm to our souls and will deepen our understanding of God’s wonderful plan of salvation.

Obstacles

9 Comments / December 7, 2015 December 7, 2015

The dogs are menacing and terrifying– much more so than the barking dog in the picture above. Since I don’t get my camera out in the middle of an attack, I have no picture of the actual dogs. But let me start at the beginning.

Around five years ago, I started running and I would always hate passing this particular house. The dogs would run out on to the road and I would try to act like I didn’t care, shouting at them, and scooting past as quickly as possible. But then came knee surgery and that was the end of running for me.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago, when I decided that I would see if I could get into the habit of walking. Since my dogs love going for walks (and my Chocolate Lab could stand to lose a little weight!), I decided to take them with me. Unfortunately, I need to pass this house where these dogs reside to reach both developments I like to walk in.

The first few times, the owner saw me coming and called them inside. I started to relax when I walked by, thinking she had them under control now.

And then there was the day last week that we were on our way back home. I crested the hill and spotted the dogs. My heart started pounding in fear. I was across the road from where they were, so I scrambled up the embankment next to the road and onto the field to put as much distance between me and them as I could. And then I started walking really fast.

But before I could blink, those dogs had run right across the road, up the embankment, and stood circling my dogs and growling. And this was no friendly growl. I have not been that frightened in a long time. I started screaming at them and, finally, after what seemed like an eternity– but was probably only a few seconds–the owner came out and called them and they left us.

My heart was beating like crazy. I had not been that scared for a very long time. What would I have done if the owner had not heard me? I had no idea.

Now what? I thought about this the whole way home. Would I keep walking? Or just give up?

I decided that I was not going to let a couple of dogs scare me and so I continued to walk, always taking great care when I’d go by that house and yet assuming that the owner wouldn’t let such a thing happen again, as she could visually see (and hear) just how frightened I was by her dogs.

But I assumed quite wrong. This past Saturday, my daughter and I decided to take the dogs for a walk in the beautiful sunshine. As we approached the house, my eyes scanned the horizon for the dogs but didn’t see them. I breathed a sigh of relief. Unfortunately, the relief was naive and short-lived, for as soon as I passed the barn, I saw my two formidable enemies standing there. I knew what was coming. I told my daughter to pick up and hold our small dog and I stood there, this time with a can of Mace in my hands, and tried to defend myself and my Lab as much as possible.

We must have been quite a sight there in the middle of the road–me with my flying can of mace, screaming at the top of my lungs and my large Chocolate Lab that may as well have been Winnie-the-Pooh, for all the responding she did. She literally just stood there–which I guess is good or it could have grown very, very ugly.

Just about the time I thought those teeth were going to sink themselves into my dog, the owner came out and called them off. I asked her-as kindly as I could muster–to pleeeease put up a fence for her dogs. But even as I asked it, I knew that it would never happen. It’s just something she says to the people who feel threatened as they walk by her house.

So now I am not sure what to do. But I am leaning towards never walking by her house again. It’s just too frightening and I really don’t know what those dogs would do with their bared teeth, should their owner happen to be occupied.

And it makes my heart sink, because I had been working myself into a good habit of walking until this. It’s so discouraging.

But as I was thinking about this, I realized that most of life is like this. Whenever we want positive change, we will run into obstacles. Things we didn’t count on. The stuff you can’t plan. Whether you are working on a healthier body, a better marriage, sticking to a budget, or you have a goal to be in God’s Word, you can almost be guaranteed that something will happen along the way to derail you– if you let it.

What is the best way to respond to these obstacles? How do we keep from jumping ship? For many of us (myself included) the path of least resistance is to throw up our hands in defeat and comfort ourselves with the fact that at least we tried.

But will this take us to where we want to go? And, more importantly, is this how God would want us to respond?

Godly Christian living is really hard work. It’s full of obstacles and discouragement. But we can’t let that stop us from doing what’s right. For if we do, we will stop growing. And if we aren’t growing, we are shrinking. There is really no neutral.

And so, I have been trying to think outside the box a bit. How do I get past that house with my dogs in peace? I can’t walk the other direction, because there is a dangerous hill where cars fly. That feels even more dangerous than passing the dogs. I haven’t really solved the problem yet but I haven’t given up. At least not yet. Although, I have to admit, it’s very tempting.

But all of us face obstacles. Any positive change we try to make is hindered by obstacles and trials. And so we pray for strength and we keep walking in the right direction. Sure, our best laid plans may have gone awry, but the Lord knows all that. No obstacle or trial surprises God. Even menacing watch dogs don’t escape His notice. And somehow, there is great comfort in that.

Mixed Signals

2 Comments / November 30, 2015 November 30, 2015

Did you ever date someone who gave you mixed signals? I had a few experiences like that. They would say they didn’t want to date me, but then their actions would not match their statement. I am sure many of us had to work our way through those mixed signals given to us by the opposite sex in our dating years.

Unfortunately, mixed signals are quite common when it comes to the world of religion, as well. Have you ever been around one of those people that claims to be a Christian but doesn’t live it? They don’t only claim to be one, but they use all the right vocabulary when they talk about religion, sprinkling their conversations with a generous amount of Bible verses and good-sounding theology.

Meanwhile, their lives are filled with all of the things God hates with no conviction to change. They look just like the world in almost every way and defend it as acceptable in the eyes of God.

They are what we would generally call a “hypocrite.”

Hypocrite: : a person who claims or pretends to have certain beliefs about what is right but who behaves in a way that disagrees with those beliefs

Last night my daughter was telling me about a young TV star who presents quite the confusing Instagram. She claims to be a Christian, but on her page she posts verses alongside almost pornographic images of herself. While this is a blatant example of hypocrisy, this is not uncommon among movie stars and athletes.

But it isn’t just movie stars and athletes that are hypocrites. There are plenty around. I am sure you can think of at least one right now.

And these hypocrites can really wreak havoc when we are trying to share the good news of the gospel. Their lack of holy living, their arrogance, and their disinterest in interpreting the Word of God correctly can really be stumbling blocks for many people. They do an immense amount of damage for the cause of Jesus Christ. And it can be frustrating for those of us who are really trying to live out a godly life and share the good news with others.

So what do we do about these folks giving mixed signals?

These are the folks that are living in sin, so while some confrontation may be in order, you have to decide very carefully if it should come from you. If you do decide it should, make sure your heart is brimming over with love for that person.

But if you don’t believe you should be the one confronting the person, then what can you do with all of the damage this person is doing by their mixed signals?

I would make a few suggestions–

Keep striving to live a holy, godly life. The seeds we plant will yield fruit in the future. And people will see that fruit. They will see the fruit of the hypocrite and they will see the fruit of the one who was dedicated whole-heartedly to God. Just keep doing what’s right.
When these names come up in your conversations about salvation with others, point their eyes away from the hypocrite and to the Word of God. As believers, Jesus is our perfect example. We need to keep our eyes on Him and get them off of people– whether they be sincere Christians who struggle with sin (of which I am one) or blatant hypocrites.
Pray for the hypocrite. Pray that God would open his or her eyes so that they could see the truth of God’s Word. So often we express frustration or irritation with someone, but we rarely will pray for that person. And, honestly, it is actually pretty hard to pray for someone who is making your life more difficult, so that does make sense. But praying for someone not only helps them, but also changes your heart–filling it with genuine love from the Father for this person.

While it seems that hypocrites are increasing by leaps and bounds in this current age, I doubt this is a new problem. Wherever you find freedom of religion and a pop culture that includes Christianity, you will find hypocrites. After all, you won’t be a hypocrite if you know your freedom–sometimes even your very life– is on the line. I guess that would probably be the one bright spot in being part of the persecuted church. No fakers there.

But, while persecution is probably coming to the Western world sooner rather than later, in the meantime we need to not only put up with hypocrites, but try to genuinely love them, praying that the blinders would be lifted from their eyes.

Two Types of People

Leave a Comment / November 25, 2015 November 25, 2015

I was listening to Gateway to Joy the other day and heard Elisabeth Elliot say something like this: “there are only two kinds of people: the kind who complain and the thankful kind.”

And I had to ask myself:

Which kind am I?

I guess none of us are either kind all the time, but which kind am I most of the time?

The really great thing about this question is that we get to choose what kind of person we will be. It isn’t like the question are you short or tall? While we can’t change our height, we can change if we are a complainer or if we are thankful.

I would say that I am overall a pretty happy person, but these last couple of years have challenged that a bit. I have been thrown out of my norm, forced to develop a new normal, and I have rebelled a bit against that. I have had many moments– even months– that I have not been thankful. I have blamed it on my circumstances.

But God, I don’t want this in my life.

Slowly but surely, God is teaching me that my joy is not dependent on my circumstances. My grateful heart is not dependent on what’s going on in my life. Instead it comes from a heart surrendered to the will of the Father, trusting in Him and knowing that whatever is going on in my life is for His glory and my best.

This is a very hard lesson to learn, no matter what change in life we face. Or what circumstances. We all have them, don’t we? We traverse on this troubled and fallen earth where trials abound. We can all think of plenty of reasons to complain. But when we choose thanksgiving, we are like a lighthouse on this dark earth.

Let me give you an example.

I know two older women who have now lived out most of their lives. They have married, raised a family, and watched grandchildren grow up. They have health issues and life has changed considerably for both of them over the past ten or so years, giving them much to complain about.

But these two women are like night and day in how they face their circumstances and the contrast is remarkable.

The one complains frequently about her circumstances. The other one chooses to be thankful despite her circumstances. The complainer talks negatively about everyone around her. The other one does not. The complainer rarely has a positive thing to say. The other one is inspiring and full of joy. The complainer is lonely and has few friends. The other one is loved dearly by many. One is showing me what not to be like when I am old and one is creating a beautiful legacy.

One of these women is joining the roiling, heaving mass of discontented humanity and the other one is standing out like a lighthouse on the shore, offering hope despite life’s hard times.

This contrast has given me cause for great thought. I want to be creating a beautiful legacy of joy and thanksgiving. But how do I get there?

Perhaps the change starts in our minds, where we first get our initial thought of complaint. Most of us are wallowing in sinful, negative thoughts before ever speaking. And if we want to change, we need to recognize this. 2 Corinthians 10:5 commands us to take every thought captive. Captive. Instead of letting our thoughts take control of us, we are to take control of them. This is where I fail so often.

I have that thought of sadness or irritation and I will feed it. Instead of taking it captive, I will set it out to pasture to gobble up all of my peace. And yet, life is so much better when I take those thoughts captive as instructed in scripture.

And so I am learning to choose joy and thanksgiving. In my Bible Challenge reading this week, I read that wonderful passage in I Thessalonians 5, including verse 18 about giving thanks always. God’s Word speaks to so many of our problems and struggles. But changing is no easy process and needs to be done very intentionally through the power of the Holy Spirit, just like the rest of our Christian lives. Intentional submission to God’s sovereignty, intentional scripture study and prayer time, intentional choices that lead to pure, holy, and thankful lives. Until one day God calls us into His presence to live with Him forever. The Hope of Heaven–now that is something for which to be truly thankful!

A Word of Caution About Sleepovers

4 Comments / November 23, 2015 November 23, 2015

I was probably seven or eight at the time. I lay in a sleeping bag in the midst of ten or fifteen other girls. I am sure there was a lot of giggling and jumping around. There was probably lots of junk food. The memory is very hazy.

However, there is one part of the evening that isn’t even slightly hazy. And that is the part where the girl hosting it turned on a horror flick. Sure, it was pretty innocuous as horror flicks go now, but to my little-girl brain it was just awful. I couldn’t sleep for the rest of that night or for several nights afterwards. I can still see part of that movie if I think about it long enough. That was how much of an impact it made.

Pictures can stay in our memory forever.

I remembered this vividly the other day when I was having a conversation with some moms who really want to follow their instincts and say no to an activity for their children but are worried about offending others. This memory came rushing back as they talked. I wish I would never had gone to that party. If my parents had had any idea what movie would be turned on at that slumber party, I highly doubt that they would have allowed me to go. After all, what parent allows their small children to watch horror movies?

You’d be surprised.

And then there is the whole over-sexed culture to think of, as well. With pornography rampant among teenagers and grown men, we cannot be too careful with our young children. Remember Josh Duggar and what he did to the girls spending the night with his sisters? Do you think their parents would have ever left their daughters sleep there had they any inkling?

I am not here to tell you that your child should never sleep over at a friend’s house. That is not my point at all. But I would just like to suggest that this is an area where we use extreme caution.

If you are going to send your child to stay the night at anyone’s house, do your homework first. We would never send our child to sleep at a stranger’s house and yet, so often, that is, in essence, exactly what we are doing when we send them to a school friend’s house.We wouldn’t put our child in the ocean amidst sharks, and yet somehow sending them to spend the night with strangers is okay. Sleepovers are best if the other family is known well. If your daughter is friends but you don’t know the family, then perhaps you could spend some time getting to know the parents or, better yet, develop a friendship with them.

Our job as parents is to stop worrying about what people will think and to protect our children. There are, at best, really undiscerning parents out there who don’t care what their kids watch, listen to, or do at a sleepover. At worst, there are predators who are hooked on pornography lurking in some of these homes. We must protect our children, at all costs.

My unpleasant sleepover experience was just a small blip on the line of my life. I am no worse for wear and it could have been so much worse. However, to that little seven-year old who was me that was forced to watch something that scared the daylights out of her, it was a traumatic and frightening blip.

Sleepovers are okay, but let’s do our homework. Protecting our babies is way more important than worrying about what someone will think of us.

What Does the Bible Say About Me

4 Comments / November 20, 2015 November 20, 2015

There is such a push from the world to be self-centered. And most of us are listening. Have you considered just how much things have changed in the last twenty years?

My husband came into the house the other day and started talking about how different it is in business since he first started. People, as a general rule, have become much more selfish. There is little grace and expectations have become almost impossible to meet. It can be frustrating. Thankfully, we still have many wonderful customers who aren’t like this. But the gracious and kind customers really stand out now. They used to be the norm.

And just a few days ago, a friend was telling me how she and her husband were trying to save seats at a Christian event. She told me she could not believe how rude and unkind people were, calling them names and treating them very unkindly. Some even pushed past them and took a few of the seats they were saving! And these people call themselves Christians.

There have always been selfish people. But it seems to be out of control now. Every decision, every choice is made based on how it will affect them. It doesn’t matter what is better for the church, community, or family. If it makes them work or uncomfortable, they won’t do it. If it is to their advantage then they will do everything they can to make it happen– even calling someone a name. I could write a lot more about this, but I am guessing you probably know exactly what I am talking about.

This week, in preparation for a speaking engagement, I did an in-depth study of scripture to find out exactly how we are supposed to think about ourselves from a biblical perspective. What I found was contrary to most everything we are told in our classrooms and through the media. I knew this, but to study scripture and see it so clearly was a great reminder.

Here is some of what I learned–

We don’t need to learn to love ourselves, because we already do love ourselves. We are told to love others as we love ourselves no less than eight times in scripture (Here are a few of those verses: Leviticus 19:18; Matthew 19:19; Galatians 5:14) This does make sense if you think about it– whether one of us is thinking about how unfortunate and inferior we are or another one of us is thinking about how amazing and beautiful we are, we are both consumed with one thing–SELF.
When we are saved, our love for Jesus should become more important than our love for self. (Matthew 6:33; Galatians 5:20; John 3:30) This is part of the transformation that takes place in the life of a believer. Oh, this may not be an instant change for all of us, but there can be no denying that genuine salvation changes us. And it changes our priorities.
This means that as we mature, we should be thinking of ourselves less and less. (Philippians 2:3) Think over your Christian life for a few moments. Can you see how you have become more unselfish as you have grown closer to Christ? Self-denial continues to be a daily struggle for me, but I do know that I am way better than I used to be. God is slowly and surely transforming me. Of course, thinking of ourselves less does not mean that we don’t take good care of ourselves or enjoy life. In fact, God has given us all things to enjoy (I Timothy 6:17). But we need to carefully stay balanced in our care of self. As we grow, we should also offer more and more grace and kindness to others, as we consider their needs and wants before our own. This is where we really see our hearts. Oftentimes, when I have a disagreement with someone, I will recognize afterwards just how stupid it really was. I have these arguments because I want my own way. This battle for self rages within all of us and it is one we cannot ignore. If we feed the monster of self it will continue to grow and grow. If we aren’t becoming less selfish, we are growing more selfish. There is no neutral.
We actually end up with more peace and joy when we put Jesus first (Proverbs 10:28). This seems to be a puzzling paradox, doesn’t it? How can it be possible that the less we are consumed with self, the happier we will be? And yet, it is true. God has designed it so that we will actually end up with far more joy and peace if we obey Him, than if we chase after happiness on our own.

It is really hard to believe just how far this culture has come in worshiping self. This self-worship has even crept into our churches, so that many of our churches are filled with strife and discord, instead of the unity that God intended among true believers.

But I found out that the Bible teaches us that we should think less and less of ourselves as we mature as believers. That our perfect goal (impossible this side of heaven) would be to always glorify God and never think of our selfish desires. While we will never reach that goal, let’s try to look more like Jesus every day. Next week around the Thanksgiving table with extended family, let’s be the ones that don’t have to be right in the family arguments. Let’s be the ones that reach out to the lonely widow sitting in church despite our busy, hectic morning. And let’s show grace and mercy to people who wrong us. In taking the focus off of ourself we will really stand out in this world of self-absorbed people. In fact, it may even give us a few opportunities to witness– so be ready!

Red Cups and the Media

6 Comments / November 14, 2015 November 14, 2015

I know I am coming in a little late on this Red Cup story. By now the frequent postings about it are being replaced with the awful news of terrorist attacks happening in Paris. I am glad the red cup posts are disappearing but I am very sad that it took such an awful tragedy to replace them. Let’s be praying for the people of that city! But before the red cup story vanishes completely from history, I thought I’d share this quick post.

First, let me say that of all my 500 plus–and mostly conservative– Facebook friends, not one– not one— posted anything that implied in even the slightest way that they were irritated by Starbucks changing their cups. Now if Christians were up in arms about this, I think I would have seen the “for/against” debate raging all over my Facebook page. Instead of a debate, I just saw, plastered all over my page, post after post after post saying how ridiculous it was to get upset about red cups.

So I ask you: who are these elusive folks so upset about this?

I did a little googling and it looks to me like the whole thing stems from one irate customer who claimed that Starbucks was declaring war on Christmas by changing their cups. I don’t know this guy, but I can tell you that I don’t want to be included categorically with some guy like this and I am guessing you don’t either.

And I can’t help but wonder–is there a possibility that the media lumped all of us Christians together and then exaggerated this story to further divide this country? To make us Christians look like ridiculous nit-pickers?

I really have no idea, but it sure does look suspicious to me. I mean, first off–who in the world would possibly care what Starbucks puts on their cups? Secondly, why would we expect them to promote the true meaning of Christmas when they stand against almost everything else taught in the Bible? Starbucks is one of the most liberal companies in the world. Even I know that and I rarely watch the news. If we don’t like it, we don’t need to buy their coffee.

I know this has just about died down in light of the very serious and newsworthy happenings in Paris going on, but I just thought I’d send out a reminder: Don’t believe everything you hear coming from the liberal media. They are biased and have proven themselves to be very untrustworthy. If they tell us that Christians are up in arms about something, we’d better do some of our own investigating before we jump on any bandwagon for or against.

Just a few thoughts for this Saturday afternoon :)