Sin Struggles

How to Have a Productive Quiet Time

As believers, we recognize the value of a quiet time each day with the Lord. While we aren’t commanded anywhere specifically to have this time, the Bible does tell us to meditate on and to delight in the Word (Psalm 1:2; Psalm 19; Psalm 119) and to spend time in our closets in prayer (Matthew 6:6).

From the time I was a little child, I remember being encouraged to have my “devotions”, in which I would read from a book that would give a few verses and then a paragraph or two about those verses. The older I got, the more I recognized that many of those devotional books aren’t real meat. While there isn’t anything wrong with some of them, they are more like a dessert. Most aren’t giving enough scripture to be the meat we need for our sustenance as a growing believer. But they are easier and so we like them. We can read the portion for the day and then check “quiet time” off our day’s to-do list.

It wasn’t until I started reading the actual Bible every day that I started to really grow. But, let’s be honest, Satan doesn’t want us in the Word. Since the power for life and godliness is within its pages, he wants to do all he can to keep us out of it. Biblical illiteracy and neglect renders us ineffective for Jesus Christ’s purposes and it often keeps us imprisoned by sin. (For those of us who would point fingers at the “obvious” sins, don’t forget that a complaining or anxious or selfish heart is also sin…very real temptations for all of us!)

And so as we start studying the Word in a deeper way and spending more time in prayer, what can we do to make sure our quiet time is as productive as possible? I thought I would break this down a bit today and offer a few helpful suggestions. Interestingly enough, this post is born out of my own distractions the other day. I started thinking about this while I was supposed to be having my quiet time!! Anyway…here are six things that may be keeping us from having the best quiet time we can have–

1. Life

Life is just busy. Sports schedules, workouts and training, committee meetings, church activities, jobs–all of these can wear us out and distract us from our relationship with the Lord. If we have preschool or home-schooled children, it can add a whole different dynamic to this idea of finding a half hour to dedicate to this. How do we keep from being distracted by life duties and pressures? Here are a few suggestions–

First, plan a time. Morning, evening, afternoon–it doesn’t really matter. But plan it like you plan your workout or coffee with a friend or your favorite TV show. If you say you don’t have time, then I encourage you to examine your schedule to see what you can eliminate. Nothing should be more important than this. Sure, some of us are temporarily caught up in a whirlwind of activity beyond our control, but that is not the case for most of us. If you have kids at home, designate a quiet time for all of you. I did this when I home-schooled and it became the hour that energized me for the rest of the day. At 1pm every day the children would go to their rooms. They didn’t have to sleep but they did have to look at or read books or quietly rest. And then I would have my quiet time. Or at least that was the idea–but, instead, I’d often be distracted by my “to-do” list. Which leads me to…

Second, make your time with the Lord a priority. Recognize the value in spending time with Him and realize that whatever is calling your name is not more important than your time with Him. I look back and can see this now. I hope I can encourage you to not make the same mistake I did!

2. Feelings

Feelings can be SO deceiving. And think of how often we obey them! We think if we don’t feel like praying or getting in the Word, then it is perfectly fine not to do so. I struggle with this so much. And, yet, I find that when I ignore my feelings and do it anyway, my feelings soon tag along afterwards and I am so glad that I moved ahead and did the right thing, despite my feelings. This is worthy of a blog post alone because this is what is driving so many choices regarding all of life! If we can say NO to our feelings and YES to doing the right thing, we will have won a HUGE victory in our battle with the flesh.

3. Technology

Have you ever been in the middle of praying when suddenly you hear that little ding or buzz go off on the table beside you? Your curiosity drives you to look at your phone–interrupting your prayer time. Or perhaps you are reading scripture and it brings something to mind you want to look up…and since your phone or tablet is right beside you and you can look anything up at any time…

I confess that this is something I really struggle with. I have learned it is best for me to keep my phone and iPad in a different room when I am praying and reading my Bible every morning.

Technology is a wonderful thing, but it is also a very exacting taskmaster. We have become enslaved to our phones and instant communication. We believe it is our responsibility to be available to everyone at all times. But will the world really stop if we don’t respond for 30 minutes?

This is such a struggle for me. Did I mention that? Sometimes I really long for the old days–at least when it comes to having my quiet time…

4. Self-Absorption

Track with me here as I unpack this one. I have recognized that my quiet time can often be overtaken by my absorption with myself. Whether it’s reading the scripture, greedily searching for some personal comfort or it’s my prayer time being consumed with my own selfish desires, I find I quickly fall into the trap of selfishness during my quiet time. This attitude will keep me from having a productive quiet time. A truly quality quiet time has us humble and yielded before the Lord with a heart that desires to obey. Coming before the Lord with a prideful, greedy, selfish heart will keep us from having a close relationship with the Lord–no matter how many hours we may spend with Him.

5. Sinful Attitudes

This is a bit similar to #4 but I don’t think we always see that. When we come to our quiet time with an unforgiving heart or with a grudge against someone, we are putting a wall up between us and the Lord. Walls are also built by our anxious heart (we are saying with our actions that we don’t trust the Lord), our envious or jealous heart (we are discontent with what the Lord has provided), and our prideful heart (we are saying we don’t need the Lord). These things keep us from drawing near to the Lord in spirit, even if we are physically sitting and reading the Bible.

6. Improper View of God and Man

Okay, so this is a little deeper theologically than the others, but please keep reading. I think this is really important. This really encompasses all of the above.

I believe we are often kept from a productive quiet time because we don’t really know God. We don’t give any thought to the fact that He is omnipotent (all-powerful), omniscient (all-knowing), immutable (never-changing), and absolutely sovereign. We don’t have a big enough view of Him and we treat Him like a casual friend. Yes, He is our friend but He is so much more than that! He is God! We should have reverence and godly fear when we approach Him.

And, then, we have a wrong view of self. We have nothing to offer God. We couldn’t even live and breathe if God didn’t allow it. We must recognize our dependence upon God for every single thing. Realizing this naturally changes how we approach scripture and prayer.

Having a proper view of God and self are so critical to a thriving and vibrant walk with the Lord. And proper views will help us navigate and eliminate the first five items on this list.

Well…

That was a lot to take in, wasn’t it? But I hope that this list of six things may give you some ideas on improving your quiet time. I know it really made me think as I wrote it. If we love God and we want to walk as closely with Him as possible, it is imperative that we make our quiet time as productive as we possibly can.

 

How Do I Respond to My Enemies?

So often Christians find themselves at odd with other Christians. There will be two true believers who just do not agree. Whether it’s a disagreement over something as simple as a remodeling project at church or it’s a deeper issue of how a certain scripture passage should be interpreted, we will always find someone that we will disagree with about something.

What keeps two people who disagree with each other from being enemies? What brings true Christian unity?

Please keep in mind that this post is referring to unity between true believers and not to the “fake” unity that warmly embraces all perversions of the Gospel and even religions that don’t adhere to the Gospel at all to be unified under the broad term of “Christianity”. We know that this kind of unity is not biblical, according to Galatians 1:9–

As we have said before, so now I say again, if anyone preaches any other gospel to you than what you have received, let him be accursed.

But there is something that is called true, Christian unity. This unity can only exist between brothers and sisters in Christ. This kind of unity keeps us moving toward the same goals and embracing the same purpose. This unity builds bridges instead of walls. It will fill Christians with loving concern for one another instead of filling them with grudges, resentment, and jealousy.

This sounds so wonderful, doesn’t it? But it is often hard to find. Why is this?

Why does someone decide they do not like someone?

Sometimes we don’t care for someone based on a shallow, silly thing. And then there are also better reasons, based on things like biblical error or a prideful, arrogant spirit that is consistently divisive.

But we have to ask ourselves: Are any of these reasons good enough? If you were to stand before God today and tell Him your reason for not liking a certain person, would He say, “Way to go, my child. I agree with you completely.” ??

Of course we know the answer, don’t we? Because we know that God is love. We shouldn’t view anyone as an enemy, much less a brother or sister in Christ.

Romans 12:8 puts it like this–

If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.

We should, to the best of our ability, work at being at peace with everyone, believer and non-believer. This verse naturally brings two thoughts to my mind.

First, what if someone won’t be at unity with me?

Of course, since we know that the world will hate us (John 15:19), we know that it isn’t always possible to be at peace with those in the world. But sometimes it is a fellow Christian who refuses to forgive us. Or perhaps they just don’t like us but won’t tell us why. What then? These kinds of situations are heart-breaking and lead to feelings of helplessness as we try to navigate the back-biting, the whispering, and the cold shoulders.

I have a friend who taught me an important lesson about this very thing. Our daughters were playing soccer together and something happened to her little girl that could have started some real drama on the team. And this was her advice to her daughter, “kill them with kindness”. I heard her say that so often when her daughter would feel slighted or frustrated about something. And then, following her example, I started to say this to my kids. Yes, this is what we are called to do.

In fact, Jesus takes it even further in Matthew 5:43-44, telling us to love them, bless them, do good to them, and to pray for them!–

You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you.

This is a tall order, is it not? But there it is. Commanded by Jesus in the Holy Bible. Instead of gossiping, instead of returning the coldness, instead of resentment or anger, we love, we bless, we do good things, and we pray for them.

But we do this because it is right, not because it will necessarily change anything. Let’s go back to the beginning of Romans 12:18–

“if it is possible, as much as it depends on you”

We know from these words that Paul realized it isn’t always possible. It is part of living life as a sinner, alongside sinners, in a fallen world. Sometimes we just have to follow Jesus’s words and find contentment even when there is no resolution and no forgiveness. A hard thing, indeed. But, you know what? This is just another thing that God uses to grow us and to teach us that we must find our peace and joy in Him alone.

Second, we won’t be best friends with everyone.

Even among truly unified Christian brothers and sisters, there will be those who are “kindred spirits” and those who are not. And that’s okay. But so often special friendships between Christians are viewed with resentment or jealousy. As believers we should realize that we will be better friends with some than others. It is how God designed us. Remember David and Jonathan? If you read I Samuel 18, you will realize that their friendship was very special. Once in a while, God will bring these special Christian friends into our world. They are true treasures and, instead of feeling jealous, we should be glad for others if they have found a special friend.

If we are still longing for this type of friendship, then pray and ask God to bring you a friend. I remember as a young mom feeling the need for this type of friend and so, unbeknownst to me, my mom started praying. And within a year or so of her prayers, God led me to Deb. We realized we were kindred spirits as we sat in a group of women and chatted and, shortly after, became best friends. Don’t underestimate the power of prayer if you need a friend!

And then there are those fellow Christians in our lives who could never be a kindred spirit. In fact, some of them drive us a little crazy. We may feel guilty if we don’t appreciate a Christian brother or sister like we know we should. What then?

God made us all different and certain personalities may grate on us. We may find them hard to get along with or their mannerisms alone might irritate us. They may be boastful or arrogant.

But if we take a look at Philippians 2:1-2, we have to acknowledge that God doesn’t give us any caveat for difficult people–

Therefore if there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind.

We are to be like-minded with all Christians–as much as it depends on us. We obviously can’t control the other person.

So how do we do this? How can we be like-minded? These verses show us–we have the same love, the same accord, the same mind as our fellow Christians. This can only be done if we are diligently studying the scriptures together, submitting our desires and wills to God, joyfully obeying the commands we find there, while increasing our knowledge of God. When people are not getting along, it often goes back to this. Biblical illiteracy once again rears its ugly head in church matters.

And, along with knowing God’s Word, we find the oil that keeps things working together smoothly in Colossians 3:14–

And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

I Corinthians 13:4-6 gives us a description of this love that will break down barriers and bind Christians together in perfect unity–

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

And I Peter 4:8 is further confirmation of this idea that love will bring unity–

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

Even when we don’t particularly appreciate a fellow Christian, we can love them. We are commanded to love them. And we should thank the Lord for them, for they are helping us to grow in patience and self-control!

Enemies are just part of life. If we are going to take any stand at all on the things that matter, we will have enemies. We cannot control how they treat us, but we can control how we treat them. And let’s intentionally work at not having needless enemies. We must back away from the stuff that doesn’t matter. Will it matter in a hundred years what color carpet is used in the church? Is a slight difference in how someone interprets the book of Revelation really a cause for division? Let’s wisely and, oh so carefully, choose our battles. Most hills we choose to stand on are just not worth dying on. We don’t always have to be right. We don’t always have to have our way. So often it just doesn’t matter.

And most of all, when we find ourselves in the midst of a heated disagreement with a fellow Christian or facing a full-blown enemy, then let’s love them. Love them, bless them, do good to them, and pray for them. If you don’t remember anything else from this post, I hope you will remember these words of Jesus.

 

How Do You Listen to Gossip?

Have you ever had one of those conversations where you are talking about a TV show like it’s really happening? The people, the situations, the happenings? I had one of those the other day and as I walked away from that conversation, I realized that we often have more loyalty for and kindness and grace towards people on TV.

I know it seems silly to even compare the two, since we are obviously personally affected by real people so that makes all the difference in the world, but it does seem sad that we can keep so level-headed and impartial when discussing TV friends and completely lose that when discussing real people.

Of course, we shouldn’t really be discussing real people most of the time. Sure, there are instances where we need to work through a problem with a trusted, godly friend or mentor, but, overall, we should not be talking about people. Ephesians 4:29 says this: Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.

But this is not a post about spreading or speaking gossip. It’s a post about listening to gossip and our subsequent actions after we’ve heard it.

So many of us hear will listen to someone talk about someone and, instead of defending them or kindly asking them to stop, we will just jump right in and join the conversation. Or we will listen without speaking while making assumptions that will change our friendship with the person being spoken about. There is no grace. No kindness. No loyalty.

Or perhaps someone will talk about someone behind their back, telling you terrible things that person said about you. What do you do? Do you do what you should?

This happened to friends of ours. But let me first give some background. We had made a really, really tough decision after much prayer and agony. Because of the nature of the decision, there were many rumors flying around about us and lies told. We know of at least three specific lies that were told about us that made their way to our ears “through the grapevine”.

But only one couple actually loved us enough to call us. The wife called and asked us specifically if we had said such-and-such about them. My heart sank when I realized that someone I had trusted had said such a vicious thing about us. But, even in my dismay, I realized that this couple–instead of believing the worst–loved us enough to confront us and ask us about it.

We lost a lot of friends through those swirls of rumors and accusations, but these two remain our friends to this day. They exemplified what true biblical love and friendship are. They didn’t believe the worst about us, as seems to be the natural thing to do, but they bravely went right to the source. They cared enough to ask.

So what do we do when we hear gossip? Do we automatically believe it? Do we jump on the bandwagon and join the fun? Do we internalize it and allow it to create a cool distance with the person who has absolutely no idea what was said behind their back?

We have to be oh, so careful of this, don’t we? So many of us who wouldn’t ever be caught gossiping just aren’t very good at listening to gossip.

So how should we listen to gossip? Let’s see what scripture says–

First, we should view them as innocent until proven guilty. If there is a personal accusation involved, ask them lovingly and kindly if the words spoken are true. If they aren’t, move on. If they are, forgive and move on. Life is just too short for grudges. It really is. (Of course, this is the “simplified model” of relationships and it doesn’t always work. Especially with those who have no evidence of the fruit of the Spirit in their lives.)

Colossians 3:12-14  Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; 13 bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. 14 But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection.

Second, we should not let it affect our relationship with them. Does it really matter? Does it affect you personally? If the answer is no (and most times it is) then just continue your relationship with that person. Remember that you don’t know any of the details at all. You don’t know the situations, the circumstances, the agony, the fear, the anxiety that was all part of that person’s journey to whatever choice they made. Unless it is something that is currently hurting you, them, or others around them, just forget you heard it. We all have done things in the past we aren’t proud of, am I right??

Luke 6:31 And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise. 

Third, if what you hear is about a Christian involved in sin (such as that person is involved in an affair or addicted to a substance), prayerfully consider speaking to them about it. Talk with a trusted leader in your church or some other godly person you know to ask for their advice.

Galatians 6:1 Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted.

Fourth, pray for that person. Instead of letting gossip fill your heart with disgust or anger or frustration, let it fill your heart with love and compassion that will remind you to pray. Oh, how often we accuse, examine, and talk about without ever lifting that person up before the throne of Grace.

James 5:16 Confess your trespasses[e] to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.

Fifth, and when appropriate, steer the conversation a different way. You be the one to change the course of the discussion. Instead of joining, be the deflector. Instead of listening, be the one who changes the direction.

Proverbs 16:24 Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, Sweetness to the soul and health to the bones.

 

As always, I offer this post not as someone who has this nailed down but, instead, as a lowly servant of Jesus Christ who still struggles with all of this. As I write, I can see so many weaknesses in my own handling of gossip. God’s Word powerfully convicts you and me to grow in our faith and move beyond the status quo Christianity that so easily ensnares us.

I leave you with these beautiful verses from I Corinthians 13. We most often hear these spoken at weddings, as two people pledge their lives to one another. But perhaps we should read them every day. They remind us of not only the spirit with which we should listen to gossip, but also give us a pattern for how we should treat others in every other way, as well.

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

 

 

The Chains of “Cool”

I am not sure what the latest word is that would describe someone who is dressed in the latest fashions and has the latest everything. We used to say they were “cool” and then “hip”. I am not sure what that word is now. (Yes, I know I am definitely showing my age here, but hopefully you will stick with me…)

When we were teens we were so driven by peer pressure. Can you remember those days? When I was in high school, the “in” thing to have was designer jeans. Jordache, Calvin Klein, and Gloria Vanderbilt jeans were the thing to wear. We didn’t have a lot of money growing up but my mom took me school shopping late one summer and we found a good deal on Calvin Klein jeans. Wow, those jeans made me feel amazing! I finally looked “cool” (at least I thought I did–I’m not sure that anyone else thought that!)

We often think peer pressure is for young ones and goes away as we get older, but it really doesn’t. For some of us it does get better, but for many of us we continue to live driven by what people think of us.

Now, before we dig a little deeper into this subject of adult peer pressure, there is value in considering the thoughts and feelings of others. Paul talks about this in I Corinthians 8, where he is discussing things eaten to idols. In verse 9 he reminds us that we should think of others as we make choices that we have the freedom to make in Christ–

But beware lest somehow this liberty of yours become a stumbling block to those who are weak.

There are many other verses in the New Testament that would encourage us to think of and love others (check out Philippians 2:3-4, I Corinthians 13, and I John 3).

So, of course, we know we must consider the thoughts and feelings of others. But notice that these verses are always “others” centered. Every one of the verses above and any other verse you will find about how we treat others in the New Testament is based on minimizing self, while focusing our attention on the other person.

Contrast this thought to the chains of “cool” (as I call them), which are completely focused on self. They are an obsession with making sure that we are thought of highly, that people think we have it all. They bring a preoccupation with the world’s styles, trends, and happenings. These chains keep us from speaking up about God and from sharing the Gospel. They are often the driving force behind the laughs at dirty jokes and the silent participation in things we know God hates.

These chains become a prison from which no action can be done without first thinking of its affect on what people will think of us. Rather than God’s desires and looking to His Word, these chains become the driving force behind what we wear, what we watch, what we do.

They are really a tiresome and ugly taskmaster but no one seems to care all that much. Looking like everyone else around us can become such an ingrained idol, that we soon grow used to those chains, forgetting the wonderful freedom we have in Christ.

(You have to wonder what kind of role peer pressure has played in history. Was it part of how Hitler became the chancellor of Germany and convinced young people to take part in the genocide of Jews? Is it how he got the German Christians to ignore what was going on around them? It is a powerful, powerful tool in the hands of the wrong man.)

So how do we make sure that peer pressure isn’t what is driving us personally? How do we keep free from the bondage of those chains of “cool”?

The first place (and really only place) to look for answers is the Bible. It is a hard discussion to have because what the Bible teaches goes against all that the world and even the church is saying currently. The world is telling us we must be like them in order to have any respect at all. The world would have us give up all biblical convictions and cave on the most basic of principles in order to be liked by them. This has led to great compromise, as we watch more and more churches capitulate to the demands of the world. Meanwhile, the mainstream church is saying we must be like the world to win the world. The great sin of the day is irrelevance. One has to wonder how low the view of God must be for someone who perpetuates this viewpoint but it is incredibly popular. So much so that it is now woven into the thought patterns of most young people and many old ones, as well. But, as we will will see below, this is actually in opposition to what the Bible teaches.

Let’s unpack this a bit and look at what God has to say about these things.

First, let’s look at what our view of the world’s opinions should be. There are many verses that talk about how we should view the world, but I am going to share James 4:4, which makes it extremely clear–

Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.

There is no ambiguity here. You cannot be friends with the world and with God at the same time. Think of a big river. The world is headed one way and the Christian is swimming upstream in the other direction, in complete opposition to the world. We cannot be swimming downstream and still claim to be God’s child. James couldn’t be any clearer on this point.

Practically speaking, this means that while there is nothing innately wrong with dressing stylishly or going to the movies or whatever, the driving force behind our choice should never be our desire to be like everyone else. Our choices shouldn’t be driven by our fear of the world’s derision, marginalization, and persecution.

Now, if you are being honest with yourself at this point, you will agree with me that this is much easier to write and read than to live out. We are naturally driven by our desire to fit in. It takes great intention and strength to stand out like a sore thumb in the midst of a crowd. It is not an easy path. But we know it is the path of the Christian. Jesus tells us this in John 15:19–

If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.

And Paul confirms Jesus’s words in 2 Timothy 3:12–

Yes, and all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution.

These aren’t our favorite verses and I rather guess they are rarely chosen for Bible memory, and yet these are just two verses of many more that would remind us that we will not be loved by the world if we walk with Jesus Christ.

I don’t love to be reminded of this any more than you do, but it is the truth, according to the Bible.

Now, let’s look a bit at the church’s argument that we won’t win anyone to the Gospel without being like them. What does the Bible have to say about this?

The verse that always comes to mind when this discussion comes up is John 6:44–

No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him; and I will raise him up at the last day.

In this verse, Jesus reminds us that it is the Father who draws man unto Himself. There is nothing we can do to make someone become saved.  Ephesians 1:3-6 further elaborates on this same theme–

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved.

These verses teach us that the salvation of those we love and care about is not based on what we do or do not do. Now, that being said, God does choose to use us to win souls for Him. But what we must remember is that He doesn’t need us. These verses shouldn’t keep us from sharing the Gospel but they should most definitely keep us from compromising our convictions and participating in sinful things under the guise of “winning people to Christ”. God chooses to use us but He doesn’t need our compromise and dalliances with the world to further His kingdom. In contrast, James would tell us to remain unspotted from the world (James 1:27). (And may I suggest that prayer would be a much better way to win those we love. God answers prayer! It is a much more effective tool than worldliness!)

I wish I could tell you that I have never worn the chains of “cool”. I really do. But, unfortunately, sometimes before I even realize it, I find myself in bondage to them once again. Thankfully, the Word is the key that unlocks the lock to those chains. When I get back into the Word, when I stay in the Word, that is when I am least vulnerable to these chains.

If you find yourself really driven by what other people think of you, I hope that you will get into the Word and dig deeper into this subject. There is so much there that I wasn’t able to include in this short post.

Let’s unlock that lock and shake off those chains, so that we can be vibrant, courageous, and unwavering testimonies for Christ.

Helping Your Child Flourish

What is the single most important thing we can teach our children in order for them to flourish both spiritually and emotionally? This may even help in their worldly success…

Of course, as Christian parents we want to teach our kids to love and serve the Lord. We want them to be saved. But even salvation can’t happen without this.

Any guesses?

It is a humble and teachable heart.

I have seen an interesting and discouraging change in Christian parenting in the last number of years. The culture that worships youth and thrives on change has crept into the church. And this has turned parenting on its head. Children have become the center of the family. Children are catered to while parents work to meet every desire and whim they may have. Children get what they want. From the time they are an infant angrily screaming in their crib to the time they are hurt by a teacher or students at school to the time they are teens who want to see an ungodly movie, parents run as fast as they can to rescue and please their little tyrants. I understand how it happens. I have done it myself. It’s easier. It seems more loving at the time. It feels wrong not to give them what they want. It makes us look like we are a bad parent.

But what are we teaching our children by meeting their every demand? What are we doing to their psyche by giving them the impression that the world revolves around them?

There are many downsides to this kind of parenting, but perhaps the one that will affect them the most is the pride and self-centeredness that we are instilling in them. They believe–and rightly so because it is what they have been taught–that they are the center of the world and that what they say goes.

As Christian parents, it should be one of our greatest desires to teach our children, both by example and by actions, to be humble and teachable. To recognize that God is our focus and that we are here to honor and serve Him–even at the sacrifice of our own desires and will.

By doing this, our children flourish in so many ways. Think with me for a moment about the most humble and teachable person you know. What do you like about them? Keep in mind, we are not talking the false “doormat” type of humility here that blows towards every wind of doctrine and is afraid to speak up. We are talking about biblical humility. (See Philippians 2:5-11 and James 4:6-10 for a better understanding of biblical humility.)

Let’s  look at some of the ways that our children (and ourselves) will flourish with this kind of heart. Children and adults who are humble and teachable–

–First and foremost, will find it much easier to submit to and obey God. A humble heart is necessary for repentance and faith in Christ. A teachable heart makes the Christian life much more peaceful and joyful. It is the kind of heart that produces the most growth and spiritual maturity.

–Are kinder. They think beyond themselves and focus attention on others.

–Are easier to get along with. Whether in church or at work, humble people do not demand their own way. When something biblical is on the line and they are standing for what’s right, they speak truth with love and grace. They don’t hold grudges, forgiving others who have wronged them. Humble people are willing to learn from others and don’t think they know everything. Humility is really the only path to unity in a church body or work place.

–easier to live with. A humble heart makes it much easier for a husband to love his wife. It makes it easier for a wife to submit to her husband. It makes it easier to apologize and to express openly one’s remorse over sin and failures. It keeps parents from the “because I say so” model of parenting, and instead cultivates an atmosphere of engaging children in lively discussions, listening to their fears, anger, and frustrations, and answering their questions from a biblical perspective. It radically eliminates the hours and days (or even weeks) of angry silence that sometimes take place in homes. A teachable heart creates an atmosphere of growth and unity within the family.

–are much more prone to growth in so many ways. Where a prideful heart is akin to hard, dry soil, so a humble heart is like moist, fertile soil. Good things grow in the soil of a humble, teachable heart. They grow faster and stronger. Pride makes growth hard. It may happen but it is so much slower and the result is usually weak and small.

–willing to listen. Humble, teachable people are willing to listen to others. They recognize that the elderly, the middle-aged, and the youth all have something to teach them.Whether they are 80, 50, or 25, humble people recognize that learning is a life-long process and that they can learn so much from someone else’s experiences, gleaning wisdom that helps them in their own lives. They also recognize the importance of kindly listening to someone even if they do not agree with them.

–have a biblical view of sin in their own lives and in the lives of others. Humble people do not berate and gossip about those who are living in sin. They don’t point fingers and speak arrogantly. They recognize that it is only by the grace of God that they are not caught up in that sin themselves. They understand the wickedness of their own heart and don’t view themselves as “better than”.

If we can teach our kids to have a humble and teachable heart, we are giving them such a wonderful advantage as they head out into the world. They will be better workers and church members. They will thrive as spouses and parents. It really is like a golden ticket to peace and joy. For it is only through humility that any of us can submit to God and His sovereign hand in our lives.

This list probably gives us all something to think about, even if we don’t have children in our homes. Are we setting an example of a humble, teachable heart to all of those around us? Our grandchildren, our nieces and nephews, our Sunday school students, our neighbors and co-workers–they are all watching.

If we haven’t cultivated a humble, teachable heart in the past. If we grow defensive and struggle to apologize. If we hold grudges and find it difficult to forgive. Well, it’s not too late to change. No matter how old we are, it is never too late to change.

My guess is that all of us can grow in this area. Pray and ask the Lord to help. On a humorous note, I have asked the Lord many times to please keep me humble. And He never fails. I chalk some of my most embarrassing moments up to those prayers. But, after the horridness and acute embarrassment of the moment was over, I can honestly say that I was glad. Glad that God had reminded me that I wasn’t “all that” and that I really don’t have it all that much together, after all. Those moments keep me seeking after God and discarding my pride. So, if that’s what it takes, well, it is truly worth it. And since this is a continual process and never something I can seem to master, I expect many more embarrassing moments ahead!

Life is hard. But it is harder when we are proud and unwilling to learn. Let’s work at being humble and teachable and let’s teach our children both by example and by how we parent, to be the same. They will thank you one day.

 

Filtering the Gray

Life can be challenging. And one of the greatest challenges for many of us who are sincere believers can be filtering the gray issues. As we weigh out what is the best course of action, we can get a little muddled sorting through the things in the Bible that don’t fall under the categories of “thou shalt” or “thou shalt not”.

Yesterday, my pastor presented seven World View Filters that will help us make these decisions. (I will include a link to the sermon below). I found them incredibly helpful and I think you will, too.

But before I give the list, I want to share a few thoughts. First, in this sermon, my pastor clarified the difference between justification and sanctification. If you don’t know, I will give you a brief description here but listen to the sermon for further elaboration. Justification means that we are right with God based on Christ and Christ alone. What Christ did on the cross covered our sins and put us in right standing before God. Jesus covers us with His righteousness because we can never be righteous enough on our own. But it doesn’t end there. And that’s what so many people think. Scripture clearly teaches that we are to also be sanctified. Sanctification is the process whereby we follow the commands found in scripture and grow more like Jesus. We give our efforts to be as righteous as possible–not to be saved or to gain favor with God. No, most certainly not! We do this because we are saved and want to please God. It is the natural response of a soul saved by grace (2 Corinthians 5:17; Philippians 1:9-10; and so many more).

I share this because there is a lie that so many who claim Christ believe, which is that they can have “fire insurance” from hell and live no differently because God will just continue to forgive them as they purposefully continue on in sin. The Bible teaches not only that this can’t be– but that it won’t be. A man or woman that is truly saved doesn’t want to continue on in their sinful life. In fact, they abhor it! While we believers all continue to struggle with sin after our new birth, it grieves us because we recognize that it grieves God.

Now, changing the subject a bit, I would also like to draw your attention to the fact that we often will use filters like these listed below in regards to the areas we perceive to be gray–such as entertainment and worldly activities. However, I would like to suggest we also use them in regards to the areas we don’t consider gray but, instead, have accepted as just part of our human existence (rather than viewing them as the sins they really are). So I would like to challenge you to view your fear and anxiety; your anger and pride; how you talk about others; how you respond when someone confronts you; your selfishness and your self-absorption through these filters, as well. If any of you are like me, you will be stunned to find out just how much you do that has ungodly roots.

Okay! On to the filters. These are directly from my sermon notes yesterday–

1. The Biblical Filter(James 1:22; Matthew 7:24)

What are the biblical instructions, standards, and principles that apply to this decision or activity?

2. The Kingdom Filter(Matthew 6:33)

Does my decision clearly reflect that Jesus Christ is on the throne of my life?

3. The Faith Filter(Romans 14:23)

Is the choice you are about to make a clear reflection and result of your faith in Jesus Christ?

4. The Approval Filter(Galatians 1:10)

Is the decision you are making a result of pressure from others or is it rooted in seeking the approval of God?

5. The Influence Filter(Romans 14:21; Mark 9:42)

Can you in good conscience say to all who might be watching: “Do what I am doing and it will lead you closer to Christ.”

6. The Impact Filter(I Corinthians 10:23-33; 2 Timothy 2:15-26)

How will your choice reflect on the reputation of the Christian faith?

7. The Ultimate Filter(I Corinthians 10:31)

Does your decision and behavior bring glory to God?

As pastor Chan worked his way through these filters, I recognized that there is so little gray, after all. When we run our choices, thoughts, and words through these filters it becomes so much more obvious, doesn’t it? We like to say there is gray because it lets us keep one foot in the world, while still claiming Christ. It lets us live in our flesh, while enjoying all the benefits of heaven. But if we cast aside our fleshly, selfish, and worldly desires and honestly run all we do through these filters, much of the gray falls away and we are left looking at a picture that is black and white. It’s not what the worldly church wants to hear, but it is the truth.

I hope these will help you filter the gray in your life as it has helped me. Thankfully, we are not alone in this process. If we are a believer, then God has given us His Word for just this purpose and He has also given us the Holy Spirit to guide and strengthen us as we look to His Word for living the Christian life victoriously.

(By the way, sometimes we can get so mired in the mud of worldliness or anxiety or busyness or any number of things and, suddenly, we find that we have let the gray seep into our lives. And so that’s when we must get out of the mud, take a shower, and begin again. That’s where I find myself this morning and I hope that a few of you will join me. I am so grateful for a God that keeps forgiving. Aren’t you? Today is the perfect day for a new start!)

Please note: You can listen to Pastor Chan’s sermon here.

What Should I Look for in a Biblical Counselor?

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Let’s face it. Sometimes life just doesn’t go the way we planned and we need a little help. Whether it is a struggling marriage, a wayward child, or some type of past issue that needs to be dealt with, sometimes we just need a bit of support to help us get our feet back on the right path again.

Unfortunately, while there is no dearth of counselors (we also call them therapists), good biblical counselors can be hard to find. Even those who claim to be Christian counselors can be wrapped up in man’s wisdom and philosophies.

When I went to college as a young adult I started out majoring in psychology. It’s all a bit hazy now, but about halfway through that major I recognized that it was not the career for me. It was–and still is– a quagmire of philosophies that are in opposition to biblical wisdom. Christian psychology is generally a mixing of earthly wisdom and heavenly wisdom that becomes impossible to separate.

James 3:15-17 says this–

 15 This wisdom does not descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, demonic. 16 For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there. 17 But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. 

We can see from these verses that earthly wisdom and heavenly wisdom not only shouldn’t be unified, but they really can’t be. They are in complete opposition of one another.  And yet this is exactly what Christian psychology tries to do. It is very similar to the idea of theistic evolution. It is an impossible and absurd attempt to unify man’s wisdom with God’s wisdom. And it changes the Gospel in the process. No part of evolution can be true if the Gospel as presented in scripture is true. They are mutually exclusive. According to scripture, death was the result of sin. And this is impossible with the theory of evolution.

So is the case with human psychology and biblical counseling. In human psychology, self is the center of everything. The temporal healing of man and a better life is the ultimate goal. But the Bible teaches that God is the source of true healing. Reconciliation with God and right living before God is the ultimate goal. While it may not seem so, they truly are mutually exclusive. We cannot have both God and self at the center of our lives. We cannot be driven both by God and by self. We must choose one.

(And here’s a curious tidbit for those of you who would like to know more– did you know that much of the psychological theories and presuppositions were developed with the help of spirit guides, which, in other words, means they come straight from demons? I didn’t either. Until I wrote this article. I didn’t learn that in my classes at college. You can read more about that here and and there are more resources here.)

Martin and Deidre Bobgan have this to say about the transition from faith in God’s Word to faith in man’s theories–

During the last sixty years much has happened to undermine the faith of those who once believed in the sufficiency of Scripture for those issues of life that are now being addressed by psychological counseling (psychotherapy). Previous to the influx of psychological theories and therapies, Christians turned to the Scriptures to understand themselves and to live accordingly. They turned to the Bible regarding attitudes and actions. They sought God regarding personal feelings and relationships. They found solid solace, strength, and guidance during difficult circumstances. Moreover, they learned the difference between walking according to the old ways of the world and walking according to the new life they had received through Christ’s death, resurrection, and gift of the Holy Spirit. Much of this has been lost as Christians have been adding the ways of the world to the way of the cross.We have witnessed this grievous transition from faith in God and His Word to faith in the psychological systems of men for nonorganic issues of life.*

I couldn’t agree more.

And if we are searching in the wrong place for help and if we are listening to earthly wisdom from below, then the verses from James above assure us that it will lead us into chaos and confusion.

So what should we look for in a biblical counselor when we do need a little help? How can we assure that we are receiving wisdom from above and not from human philosophies? Here are eight questions we can ask–

1. Does the counselor teach that we can only have peace and reconciliation with God through repentance and faith? (Mark 1:15)

2. Does the counselor call sin sin? Or does he/she cover sin up by calling it a disorder or disease? (Galatians 5:19-21)

3. Does the counselor use the Bible? (2 Timothy 3:16-17; Hebrews 4:12)

4. Does the counselor recognize and point out “acceptable sins” such as selfishness, pride, anger, resentment, unforgiveness? (James 4:6; Philippians 4:6; many others)

5. Does the counselor give assignments for Bible Study, resulting in a closer relationship with God? (Psalm 119)

6. Does the counselor acknowledge God’s sovereignty and the scripture’s sufficiency in all they say and do? (Job 42:2; Psalm 19; 2 Timothy 3:15-17)

7. Does the counselor focus on bringing glory to God through the situation at hand? (I Corinthians 10:31)

8. Does the counselor focus on the eternal ramifications of sinful behavior, along with the temporal consequences? (Romans 6:23; Hebrews 9:27)

A godly counselor will talk about these eight things with so much love and grace. While being unafraid to speak the truth, they will do so in a way that is loving and kind. One of the finest examples of this is Christ’s encounter with the Samaritan woman (John 4). Jesus Christ always spoke truth with love to those whose hearts really wanted to know the truth. There was no hard edge or frustration. He is the one and only perfect example.

But He did speak the truth. Which is what we can and should expect a godly counselor to do if we truly long for permanent change.

Today, we have God’s Word to show us how to live. It is there that we find help for permanent and powerful change. A true biblical counselor recognizes this. I leave you with one final quote from the Bobgans–

The Bible is not meant to work independently from God Himself. The Bible is sufficient because the Lord Himself works through His Word. If a person tries to use the Bible apart from Christ ruling in His heart, he may claim that the Bible lacks practical answers for life’s difficulties. However, it is through the Bible that God reveals Himself and works His divine power in Christians. The Bible is more than words on a page. Every word is backed by God’s mighty power, His perfect righteousness, His love, His grace, and His wisdom. Thus God not only gives precious promises and instructions for living; He enables a believer to obey His Word. That is why the Bible is sufficient for life and conduct. Paul declared that he would not depend upon the wisdom of men, but on the power and wisdom of God. (1 Cor. 1.) Not only is human wisdom foolishness in comparison with God’s wisdom; human words lack the divine power necessary to transform a person into the likeness of Christ and to enable him to live the Christian life according to God’s will. God uses the wisdom and power of the Scriptures to enable believers to please Him and bear fruit. (2 Tim. 3:16-17; 2 Peter 1:2-8.) No psychological doctrine can even come close to that claim, nor can it add power for godly change.*

Amen.

 

*From PsychoHeresy: The Psychological Seduction of Christianity by Martin and Deidre Bobgan (free PDF is available by clicking on this link)

You Can’t Have Your Cake and Eat It, Too

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Have you ever noticed that almost everyone loves Chick-Fil-A? The other day we went to one for a mid-week lunch and it was lined up almost to the door. In a world where fast food has lost much of its popularity and is considered quite unfashionable, Chick-Fil-As are still always busy. Why is this?

I believe it is because when you go there you will find their restaurants clean and organized and the employees respectful and helpful. Of course this isn’t true across the board, but there is a much greater chance of finding a Chick-Fil-A like this than any other fast food restaurant.

How does the owner of Chick-Fil-A accomplish this? This article states that Truett Cathy screens his franchise owners. They must exhibit Christian values and be involved in their communities. It’s a Huffington Post article that puts a negative spin on it (of course!). But, actually, what Cathy is doing is completely lawful. He’s protecting the reputation of Chick-Fil-A, which he owns. (Funny how you never see Huffington Post talk about the unfairness of progressives forcing business owners to bake wedding cakes…)

So why does having Christian values make a difference?

The Bible teaches us many things about life and human relationships. And it is clear that when we put them into practice, life is generally better. We avoid so much heartache and pain and generally experience so much more peace and joy when we don’t lie, steal, cheat, or hate. We have a much more restful home when we love, forgive, discipline our children, treat one another with respect and kindness, and live out the roles God has established for Dads, Moms, and kids. And we run much better restaurants and companies when we are honest, fair, train our employees to treat others with respect and kindness, and operate with integrity.

Christian principles make for a better restaurant, family, church, workplace, and LIFE.

Psalm 1 puts it this way–

Blessed is the man
Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly,
    Nor stands in the path of sinners,
    Nor sits in the seat of the scornful;
But his delight is in the law of the Lord,
    And in His law he meditates day and night.
He shall be like a tree
    Planted by the rivers of water,
    That brings forth its fruit in its season,
    Whose leaf also shall not wither;
And whatever he does shall prosper.

The ungodly are not so,
But are like the chaff which the wind drives away.
Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment,
Nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous.

For the Lord knows the way of the righteous,
But the way of the ungodly shall perish.

The ironic thing is that even unbelievers love what results from living this way, don’t they? Chick-Fil-As are filled with customers who are unbelievers. It is because they love the outcome of this unappealing way of life, they just don’t want to do the work or make the sacrifices to have that same outcome in their own personal lives.

This goes the same for parenting. The world (and even other Christians who are following the world when it comes to disciplining their children) longingly watch parents who are actually enjoying their well-behaved and respectful children. But these godly parents are diligently following scriptural principles and making sacrifices to experience God’s wonderful promise that children are a reward (Psalm 127:3). It doesn’t just happen. Other parents watching them–whose children are unruly and unmanageable and make life so difficult– long to have the same results as their friends. But they are completely unwilling to follow the biblical principles in order to do so.

Well, you just can’t have your cake and eat it, too.

You can’t have the positive effects of living life based on Christians principles without…actually living life based on Christian principles. And that does take work and sacrifice and usually comes with its own share of mocking and ridicule, no matter where you live.

Interestingly enough, one can actually live a life based on the principles of the Bible without actually being a Christian and fare pretty well from a temporal perspective. I have seen this many times. Couples that live out and have instilled these Judeo-Christian values in their kids and who are living a life of harmony and success because of it. (In fact, these actually can be some of the hardest people to reach because they don’t see their need for a Savior.)

Perhaps this, too, is why America was so wonderful for so long. Perhaps this is why she attracted so many from countries all around the world. Being based on those same Christian principles created her reputation of being fair and free and safe and full of opportunities.

Of course, that’s all changing rapidly now.

We can’t change the world. But we can, like Truett Cathy, change our corner of the world. We can change our families by following God’s ordained roles for men and women and by training our children according to biblical principles. We can change our place of employment by doing our jobs with integrity, honesty, and diligence. We can change our churches by teaching the Bible, treating others with grace and mercy, and by calling out sin. Living life according to biblical principles not only makes our lives better but it also makes life better for those who live with and around us.

God wrote the Bible for us. He wrote every word for a reason. Our job is to study it and to live it out. Psalm 1 is not a promise but a principle. Some Christians have really hard lives and hardly seem to prosper at all. But you can never judge a book by its cover. The poorest Christian may be much more prosperous in eternal treasure than the richest one.

One thing we do know for sure: The way of the ungodly shall perish.

 

 

What Does Your Love for Self Cause You to Do (or Not Do)?

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The last week or so, I have been really reflecting on how much we all do because we are concerned about our own selfish good. This has come about through a couple of conversations, through a sermon of by Pastor Dean (found here), and through our Sunday School study of Philippians. As I mulled these things over during the past few days, I recognized the two things they all pointed to: A Savior that never did anything–not even one tiny thing–out of selfishness. And, second, the weakness of believers–those that the Savior has saved–that can hardly do anything without at least a tinge of selfishness.

Selfishness gets almost all of us in one way or another, doesn’t it? Sometimes we are obvious in how we go about it–we demand our way, our rights, our desires. We are very noticeably selfish. But, for others of us, we are viewed as the nicest, most unselfish people in the world, even while we are being selfish. We agree with everyone, we don’t confront, we don’t have the hard conversations–all because we hate conflict and we don’t want to rock the boat. We will selfishly do anything to avoid even a hint of controversy.

For others of us self takes on a whole life of its own, as we grasp for praise and glory, growing comfortable in a life of boasting so that we can make sure others see how great we are. Pride grows out of self-absorption and we start to believe we know everything and, along with this, comes the insatiable desire to win every argument and always be “right”.  Even when it doesn’t matter at all.

And then for others, we like our comfort and our relationships and our churches and we just aren’t willing to sacrifice them to stand up for what’s right. Again, love of self rears its ugly head. When it comes right down to it, we’d rather have a friend go to hell and still have them as a friend, than to risk that friendship to share the Gospel.

Now, don’t get me wrong–I am not saying that we should always speak up. There is great wisdom in knowing when not to speak. I tend to be one of those that speaks up too much and I have spent a lifetime working on timing and, most often, not speaking at all and praying instead.

But sometimes we do need to speak up–especially when it concerns the Gospel and other biblical matters. Knowing how to do that gently and with love is important. I’ve mentioned this before, but one of my greatest concerns in the area of discernment is how unloving these “discerners” can be–treating it as if they are on a treasure hunt and it is some great competition. Some even seem to gloat with glee when they discover something. Pride is often rearing its ugly head in these scenarios. (Okay, that was a bit of a rabbit trail, but I just had to say it!)

Our struggles with selfishness show themselves in our homes as parents and spouses (As we fervently avoid battles, insist on being right, are lazy in nurturing and disciplining our kids, and as we lack a servant’s heart–home always tells the true tale); in our churches (as we insist on certain ways to do insignificant things and as we are unwilling to call out sin); and in our work places (as we demand our desires or stay quiet at the water cooler.) This is the nitty gritty of Christian living for all of us. If you will allow me to use a cliche: This is where the rubber meets the road.

The key is this: We always have to ask ourselves–why are we speaking up? Why are we not speaking up? Why are we doing a certain action? Or not doing a certain action? Why are we thinking what we are thinking? And then we must run it all through the grid of the Word, making sure that our own desires aren’t getting in the way of speaking, doing, and thinking what’s right.

Truthfully, I don’t know most of you at all. I don’t know how SELF worms its way into your thinking. I don’t know if you are one who demands your own way or if you are someone who sits back and says nothing to avoid conflict. I don’t know if you are someone who is always pushing your own agenda and opinions on others or if you are someone who timidly won’t say anything so as to not rock any boats.

But what I do know is that all of us–in one way or another–fight a battle with our greatest enemy of SELF. Today would be a good day for all of us to take a good look in our hearts and see how we are doing in that battle. Are we winning? Or losing?

Philippians 2:5-8 encourages us to have the mind of Christ. If we read verses 3 and 4 right before this section, we can understand that an important part of having the mind of Christ is diminishing our view of self.

Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross.

Do we really understand exactly what Christ did by coming to earth?? This is probably worthy of its own post, but, I will just say this: As we begin to grasp and gain a deeper understanding of exactly what Christ did so that we could be saved from eternal damnation, our battle with self takes on a new importance and we gain a deeper desire to win that battle! Our enemy of self must be beaten if we are to be like Christ and if we are going to live effectively for Christ. There is no other way. Selfish people are useless in–and even detrimental to– God’s Kingdom.

As my pastor said the other Sunday in this challenging sermon: There is only one throne in our hearts. Who is on yours?

I leave you with these wise words of John Newton, the former slave trader, who was amazingly saved by grace (and who actually went on to write our beloved hymn Amazing Grace)–

Beware of SELF! This is the worst enemy we have to deal with!
 
Self-will,
self-wisdom,
self-righteousness,
self-seeking,
self-dependence,
and self-boasting.
 
It is a large family–and I cannot count up all the branches! They are all nearly related to Satan–and they are all a sworn enemy to our peace.
 
If we lie low–then the Lord will raise us up.
But if we will be something–then His arm will surely pull us down.

That monster SELF has as many heads as a Hydra, and as many lives as a cat! It is more than twenty-five years since I hoped it was fast nailed to the Cross! But alas, it is alive–and still mixing with and spoiling everything I do!

 

And to that I say a rousing AMEN!!!

 

 

(Note: The Hydra was a serpentine mythological water monster with many heads.
For every head chopped off–the Hydra would re-grow a couple of new heads.)

 

Interconnected Strands

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Yesterday morning I was awakened by a familiar buzz. I didn’t know who would be texting me that early but I reached over and, fumbling to put on my reading glasses so I could actually read the text, I picked up my phone.

I squinted my eyes to take in the unfamiliar number and opened the text. It was from Discover card, asking me if I had made a purchase at Sunoco in the amount of $4.98. Somehow they had gotten my cell phone number (I do not remember giving it to them) and decided to start texting me about purchases. While most early mornings, neither my husband or I would ever be at a Sunoco gas station, this particular morning was one where my husband was busy doing snow removal. I knew he often stopped there to grab a snack and drink. I was sure the charge was legitimate.

I decided to get out of bed since I was awake and as I did so, I pondered the interconnectedness of everything in our lives. Even a credit card charge by my husband comes to my cell phone. Everything is connected. Here’s another example: Have you ever looked at something on Amazon and then went over to Facebook, only to see ads for what you were just looking at? Personally, I find that rather creepy. And now there are apps out there that track your kids’ phones so you know where they are at all times; security systems, lights, and furnaces that can be turned on and off by your smart phone; and fitness devices that track every step you take and every place you go and then provide that information to any device you desire. In this world of technology, everything is connected.

While I could (and perhaps should) write on the privacy we are giving up willingly in this world that is interconnected in so many different ways, I am actually going to go a different direction.

These strands of life interconnecting and forming one whole is exactly how we should be living as believers. All strands interconnect and wind around one another, each affecting the other.

Sometimes we like to pretend that a certain strand can remain separate from the rest of our spiritual life, but that is a naive thought. For example, we like to believe that our “entertainment” strand isn’t part of the whole. Way over there with that strand we can fill up our minds with ungodly movies, music, and books and oddly believe this will not affect the whole. Or we do it with our “family” strand, acting like a completely different person at home than who we portray out in public, somehow believing that we can freely express our anger and selfishness there in that safe space, all the while keeping that “family” strand far away from the whole of who we really are. One final example would be our “online” strand. So often we think who we are online is separate from who we are in real life. We seem to believe that our “online” strand, and the angry rants and selfish posts that go with it, are there own separate strand far away from the rest of who we are.

But it just doesn’t work like that. Everything we are and everything we do is a reflection of who we are in Christ. We can’t separate any strand of life from the whole. I admit it would be nice if we could. But here is what God’s Word has to say about this–

Mark 12:30 And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’[a] This is the first commandment.

Matthew 16:24-25 Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. 25 For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.

Romans 12:1-2 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

James 4:4-5  Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

We can see by these verses (and there are so many more, as well) that following Jesus means giving our whole ball of interwoven strands to Him. We can’t separate out the parts we don’t desire to surrender to Him. To try to do so only leads to one thing: hypocrisy.

It is hypocrisy to say we love Jesus and then to continue in any sin. Whether it be yelling at our spouse; tuning in to a radio station that plays songs filled with lyrics about sex outside of marriage, drug use, and violence; or its being unkind and self-absorbed online. While we are certainly going to sin sometimes (as humans, we can’t reach perfection here on this earth), the Holy Spirit will fill the hearts of believers who are in the Word with conviction and repentance. The more I am in the Word, the more often this happens.

And, contrary to what you might think, this life of surrender and obedience is a much more joyful and peaceful place to be. Sure, it’s no fun facing our sin. But there is something so comforting and amazing in knowing that the Almighty, Omnipotent Creator actually cares enough about me to show me my sin and to grow me to be more like Christ. Life is so much better when we stop rebelling.

Total obedience yields a life of true joy and peace. I am convinced of this more and more each year. But we must remember that this isn’t some solitary decision. As life ebbs and flows and changes, some days it is easier to surrender to the Lord than others. There is no magic pill that makes this lifestyle easy. But we must keep trying.

If you have a strand that you have tried to keep separate from the whole, I encourage you to surrender that strand to the Lord. It’s part of the whole, anyway, whether you realize it or not. Give it all to God. He will not disappoint.

 

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