Being a Christian soldier in this culture is exhausting. Everywhere you turn, Satan is attacking. The battle is being fought all around us, leaving us with little, if any, time to put down our battle gear and take a rest.
Sometimes the enemy’s deadly sword looks like a big, giant lollipop coming at you. It’s really only through serious study and discernment that we can pick up on the fact that it is a sword made to look like a lollipop.
Think with me for a moment about the book The Shack. It’s just a story, right? But it single-handedly changed how many Christians think about God. I read this quote recently and it really summed up why The Shack is a problem–
“Christian idolatry is betrayed in this telltale phrase: ‘I like to think of God as________________.’ I like to think of God as a loving Father–as a mother–as an artist–as forgiving–as an architect…But the problem is that such thoughts are often coupled with a denial of something else the Scriptures teach about God–for example, that He is Judge…[We] don’t like to think of Him as a judge, but as a loving Savior.”
That is exactly why I believe this book is dangerous. It is a very one-sided and incomplete view of who God is. And yet evangelical Christians, by the thousands, love this book.
And so if you stand up and say, “Hey, wait a minute! Something’s not right here!” we are labeled.
We are judgmental, critical, narrow-minded, ridiculous, unintelligent, among a variety of other names.
And we get tired. Exhausted, even.
We decide the hassle isn’t worth it and we shut up (exactly what our enemy wants, by the way).
But these kinds of subtle deceptions aren’t our only battlefield. No, standing for Truth even goes into the arena of entertainment, dress, and life where somehow in this crazy mixed-up world, we find ourselves being ostracized and looked down upon by Christians because we believe books that glamorize witchcraft and the occult are dangerous, R-rated movies inappropriate fodder for our minds, bikinis inappropriate clothing for our daughters, and gambling and drinking unacceptable ways to spend our God-given time and money.
Have you stopped recently and thought about how CRAZY that is??
Sometimes it feels quite surreal that this is what modern Christianity has become in the year 2013. This can’t possibly be reality, can it?
But this is not the Christianity I was taught as a girl and this is certainly not Christianity as defined in the Bible.
Here are a few things the Bible says —
I should not even look at evil (Psalm 101:3; 119:37)
Those who practice sorcery will be burned in the lake of fire (Revelation 21:8)
God hates sexual immorality, whether it’s in our life or on a screen (Colossians 3:5)
To not let filthiness, coarse jesting, and foolish talk be among us (Ephesians 5:4)
To be separate from the world (James 1:27)
I am to be modest (I Timothy 2:9)
That I am different if I am a believer (I Peter 1:14-16)
I am not sure when Satan made his inroad into the Church. Perhaps it was when marriage became less sacred and divorce more common, leading to a breakdown of the family. Perhaps it was when shallow, me-centered music became part of the worship service. Maybe it was when worship became more about “The Show” than about God and pastoring became more about entertaining than about feeding and caring for the flock. But, most likely, it was when the church was sold the lie that people will only be won for the Gospel if we become like them. And thus the word “relevance” pretty much destroyed any purity and separation that was left within the churches.
I don’t know when exactly it happened. And I guess it doesn’t really matter. What matters now is how we Christians respond to this madness.
Are we going to melt into the crowd and do what everybody else is doing? Or are we going to take a stand?
Are we going to fight for the spiritual health of our families? Or are we going to die on the alter of peer pressure?
Are we going to grow tired and weary and give up the battle? Or are we going to stay and fight in the strength of the Lord?
My husband and I are tired. So tired. It is especially wearying on the home front, where we have spent many years trying to explain from scripture why many of the popular movies, music, video games, and books are not glorifying to God, all while most of their friends are out having a good time doing all that we are encouraging our kids not to do. We feel so outnumbered and have even questioned our sanity on a number of occasions.
But whenever we take a moment to re-look at something or to question a stand, we end up back at the same place–God’s Word calls us to live holy, pure lives separate from the world. Period.
If we want to serve Him, we can’t ignore this command. We can’t get around it. We can’t push it under a box. We are soldiers in the Lord’s army and this is a big part of our duty.
And, so…here we are. Weary warriors but still fighting. Anyone else with us?
All around us we see youth from Christian homes who have turned their backs on the one true God. A decent percentage of them have walked away to live lives in utter, immoral chaos. But, more often than not, most are trying to live good lives, attending church on the Christian holidays, and trying to make a decent living and raise a responsible family…all in their own power, not truly knowing the Savior who gave His life for them.
When I read Titus 2, I realize just how far we have strayed from God’s plan for who we are supposed to be. Paul, in this letter to Titus, defines what we are to look like as believers in this passage.
These words seem almost ridiculous in a culture that prides itself on staying young, partying, living for the moment, and having a good time. Here are the adjectives that should be used to describe a godly man: sober, reverent, temperate, sound in faith, in love, in patience.
And godly older women: reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things. We read on to discover what these good things are.
Somehow, in the last five years or so, I became one of the older women. It comes to all of us at one time or another. And here is what the Bible says I am supposed to be teaching younger women: to love their husbands and children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, and obedient to their husbands.
And let’s go on to the young men, who do not escape Paul’s descriptions. Here is what he says they are to be like: sober-minded, in all things showing yourself to be a pattern of good works; in doctrine showing integrity, reverence, incorruptibility,sound speech that cannot be condemned, that one who is an opponent may be ashamed, having nothing evil to say of you.
So, if this is what true believers are to look like, then why do so many of us not look like this? Or, in the light of our imperfections, perhaps an even more important question is: why do believers not want to look like this?
Could it be that we older people have dropped the ball?
It starts in our homes, where many of us allow our toddlers to control everything from the TV to the schedules. And then it blossoms into the churches, where we have allowed the youth to determine everything from worship style to church programs. When and why did the older generation relinquish their responsibility?
Was it when we, too, became more enamored with our stuff than with our Lord?
Was it when we got scared of the accusations and name-calling (fuddy-duddy, traditionalist) and ran away?
Was it when we made ourselves our priority and stopped spending time with our adult children?
Or perhaps it was when we started listening to worldly wisdom instead of God’s Word?
I have no idea, but somewhere there has been a breakdown of godly living being passed down from one generation to the next.
May the Lord help us not to be one of those weak links! I pray that my kids and grandkids would be stronger and holier and bolder for Jesus Christ than I am! I want my family to grow stronger in the Lord, not weaker.
Yes, this takes work–the kind that never ends. It takes late nights and long phone conversations and confrontations. Sometimes it is lonely. But we have a responsibility and we need to step up to the plate and take it seriously! Let’s stand strong and encourage those who come behind us to stand strong with us!
But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine: 2 that the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience. 3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; 4 that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. 6 Young men likewise exhort to be sober minded. 7 In all things shewing thyself a pattern of good works: in doctrine shewing uncorruptness, gravity, sincerity, 8 sound speech, that cannot be condemned; that he that is of the contrary part may be ashamed, having no evil thing to say of you. Titus 2:1-8
It all started when I decided to start running again. I began getting severe pain in my left knee, but I figured it was just because I hadn’t run in awhile, so I pushed through it. But when the pain became excruciating, I decided to use the elliptical machine for a little while to try to settle it down a bit. About a week before my scheduled Color Run (the reason I started running again), I decided to finally go see the doctor.
He looked at it, poked and prodded a bit, and then put me on an anti-inflammatory, telling me to use it as much as I was able and to come back if it doesn’t get better.
Fast forward four weeks. I took the pills, ran only about a third of the 5K and walked the rest. And then I came home and limped around for awhile. But the more I used the knee the more excruciating the pain became until I was forced to return to the doctor. He scheduled an MRI, which I had done yesterday. I am now waiting for the official results.
So why do I tell you this? I assure you that it is not to garner your pity, concern, or prayers. It’s just a knee. I can still walk and do what I have to do. I am not dying.
But here’s the thing– every time I sit down, every time I get up, every time I move that left leg, every time I bend or lift or stand or walk, I feel pain.
And I realized something. I have had over 45 years of trouble-free knees that I took completely for granted. I never thought about how well they worked or how much my life would be affected if they don’t. All of a sudden, I am calculating just how much walking a trip to the mall will be or just how long I can work in the garden without completely debilitating myself. Almost everything is now done with that painful knee in mind.
Chicago sang a song in the 80s called “Hard Habit to Break.” In that song is this line:
You don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone, and I found out a little too late.
That’s just so true, isn’t it? This singer is singing this song about a relationship he lost with a special girl, but we could sing these lines about many valuable blessings in our lives that were never appreciated until they were lost, couldn’t we?
~Our babies and toddlers.
~Our youthful, wrinkle-free bodies
~Our good health
~The financial means to meet our needs and many of our wants
~A job
~Our parents
~Our siblings
~Our spouse
~Our vehicle, or refrigerator, or washing machine, or dishwasher
~Our cell phone
How many of these things have we ever said thank you for? How many of them have we lost and then went on to complain about? Whether it be the death of a loved one (a BIG deal) or a broken cell phone (so minor in the scope of life, it’s hardly even worth mentioning)?
To keep myself filled with a heart of a gratitude, I started a journal about six months ago. In it, I write three things for which I am thankful. I don’t write every day or even every other day. But a few times each month, I stop for a moment to truly ponder what I am thankful for and to give whole-hearted thanks to God.
Funny how my knees never made it in on that list. I guess I will be writing “working knees” the next time.
I want to appreciate what I have while I have it, instead of missing it and realizing a little too late just how incredibly much I had been blessed.
Last Sunday was Father’s Day. What a wonderful day to celebrate the men who have shaped us and who are shaping our children. I feel indeed blessed to not only have had an exceptional father, but also to have an exceptional father for my children.
I heard this blog post read the other day and was struck by its simplicity, its truth, and its applicability (is that a word??) to both dads and moms. But before we move on to the article, we need to face a hard truth: it is a rare father that does all 21 of these things. And mine certainly didn’t. But then he (and my husband) both have their own unique personalities and good traits that aren’t listed in this article.
If we are mothers reading this, then let’s appreciate the good things that are written here and also the wonderful things that may not be included here about our fathers and husbands. Let’s apply what we can and become better mothers.
If you are a father reading this, then I present this as encouragement and inspiration–not as a source of dissatisfaction or hopelessness. Be the best, most godly father you can be with the resources you have. That is all God asks of you.
And on a personal note, in this article the author shares how his father rubbed his legs when he was suffering from growing pains as a child. His mention of this brought one of my own favorite memories of my father rushing to my memory. How well I remember him rubbing my aching legs in the middle of the night, while we talked about what heaven will be like. It is one of my fondest memories of time spent with my dad.
This was written by father and pastor, JoshMcPherson. You can find his original post here.
I don’t want to be a good dad—I want to be a great dad.
But the longer I live and more ministry I do, the more I have come to realize there are precious few examples of grace in action when it comes to fatherhood. So on this Father’s Day, I wanted to take a moment, heed Paul’s exhortation (Eph. 6:1), and honor my own father, Greg.
Was he perfect? Nope.
Did he make mistakes? Sure.
Does he wish he could do things differently? I have no idea.
But in a land where few men finish well when it comes to the daunting task of fatherhood, I’ve found myself reflecting and marveling at the grace of God in my dad’s life. He loved Jesus, repented often, and poured his life into his two sons. How much more could a boy ask for?
In your life, Dad, I have found a roadmap for my own role as father. So I wanted to take a few moments, and tell you thanks from the heart of a grateful son. Specifically, thank you for . . .
1. NEVER PUTTING ME DOWN
Not once. You never made fun of me, mocked me, or talked about me like I wasn’t there. Never was I the butt of your jokes. In everything you built me up, encouraged me, and moved me forward. You always spoke of my future with great hope. “The Lord will give you great opportunities, Josh. Jesus has great plans for you, son.” This sort of prophetic encouragement every boy needs, and I got it in bushels. Thanks, Dad.
2. RUNNING INTO MY ROOM
. . . the night I screamed in agony from growing pains. I was eight. You were half asleep. Tripping on a toy you went sprawling across the room in your underwear. We both burst out laughing. Then you rubbed my leg-cramps for an hour. I slept in the next day; you were up at 5 a.m. and out the door. You put my need to be comforted in front of your need for sleep. Thanks, Dad.
You loved Jesus passionately and it drew me in.
3. BEING THE TOUGHEST MAN I KNOW
. . . and crying in front of me often. It’s good for a boy to see both. I’ve seen you cut down trees, fix tractors, build things, and tackle gut-wrenching church conflict with unflinching courage and razor-sharp biblical clarity. I’ve also seen you listen intently, hug often, and tear up quickly when moved by someone’s pain or God’s grace. Not the helpless, whimpering, cowardly sort of tears—the genuine, earnest, heartfelt tears of a man who feels and thinks deeply. You cry easily when talking about Jesus, the gospel, redemption, and the day God called you into ministry. I love that. Thanks, Dad.
I never felt more safe and loved than when held in your arms.
4. RAISING YOUR HANDS
. . . and singing loudly with the church. I distinctly remember as a young boy looking up and seeing tears roll down your cheek during worship. I couldn’t articulate it then, but I knew that you were singing to someone who meant everything to you, who was great and big and awesome and worthy of your allegiance, and who gave you great joy. That is a gift to a young man. You didn’t tell me to love Jesus passionately—you loved Jesus passionately and it drew me in. Thanks, Dad.
5. SPANKING US, THEN HUGGING US
That is a powerful parenting combination that no child’s heart can resist. I never felt more safe and loved than when held in your arms as the sting of the spank faded and the assurance of your unshakable love filled my little heart. Redemptive discipline is a precious thing. Thanks, Dad.
6. LEAVING ME NOTES ON THE BATHROOM MIRROR
Sometimes they were a verse written out you’d read that morning, or a prayer for something big I was facing, or an apology for something said the night before. No matter the occasion, they were always encouraging, full of Scripture, and right on point. This told me you were thinking about me even when you were gone, and were vested in my success. Huge. I still have most of them to this day. Thanks, Dad.
Always you were there, Bible in hand, heart open, mind working.
7. PUTTING MY FRIENDS TO WORK
Mowing the lawn, cleaning the garage, working on a project in the shop. Every time my friends came over to our house, you worked us like dogs. I could never figure out why all the guys always wanted to come to my house.
But I figured it out later: you treated them like men. And then you’d fire up the BBQ and spend the rest of the day asking us what we wanted to do with our life that would make an eternal impact. Thanks, Dad.
8. READING YOUR BIBLE EVERY MORNING
That is the biggest memory I have: you, at the kitchen table, worn Bible in front of you, studying away. Not checking Facebook. Not returning email. Not reading the paper. Soaking in the Word. Sometimes tears were running down your face. Sometimes your eyebrows were burrowed in thought. Sometimes your head was bowed in prayer. Sometimes your pen was scratching furiously in your journal. But always you were there, Bible in hand, heart open, mind working. It left an indelible imprint on the life of a young boy about how a real man starts his day. Thanks, Dad.
9. LAUGHING LOUD, LONG, AND LOTS
At the dinner table. On a hunting trip. Or just whenever. Some of the most fun memories I have include watching you slap your thigh, throw back your head, and roar with laughter. I loved hearing your laugh. Still do to this day. You took many things in life blood-earnest, but you laughed at yourself often. That is a gift that has served me well in ministry. Thanks, Dad.
10. CHARGING ME RENT
You did this the day I turned 18 and was still living in your house. All of my other friends learned to freeload. I learned to work. And it wasn’t done as a cruel punishment, but a teaching moment for taking responsibility and growing up as a man. Thanks, Dad.
You were not living life unless you’re serving others and God’s kingdom.
11. LOVING ME WITHOUT QUESTION OR HESITATION
I have questioned many things in my life, doubted many things, faced many unknowns. But there is one thing of which I have never questioned: your love for me has been unwavering and relentless, dependable and true. It’s taught me a lot about how I am loved by my better heavenly Father. Thanks, Dad.
12. TURNING DOWN SPEAKING ENGAGEMENTS
. . . so you “wouldn’t miss the important years.” I didn’t appreciate it then. I do now. Thanks, Dad.
13. WRESTLING WITH US AS KIDS
. . . every night when you came home from work. You were probably exhausted from work, but knew we were waiting behind the couch to launch a surprise attack. You could have said you were too tired. But you didn’t. You wrestled until, giggling and short of breath, we begged for mercy (and asked for more at the same time). Thanks, Dad.
14. FILLING THE DINNER TABLE WITH STORIES OF GOSPEL VICTORIES
These were the best moments ever. To hear of a broken person made whole through the redeeming work of Jesus. My big takeaway from our dinner conversations was that you were not living life unless you’re serving others and investing in God’s kingdom. You whetted our appetite for gospel ministry early. Thanks, Dad.
15. READING THE PICTURE BIBLE EVERY NIGHT BEFORE BED
And oh, how you brought it to life! When Moses faced the Red Sea, I was overwhelmed with despair. When David stared down Goliath, I trembled with fear. When Jesus rose from the grave, we cheered and clapped for joy. Dad, when you read the Bible, The Story came to life. It’s no wonder your two boys have given their life to teaching others that same Bible. Thanks, Dad.
16. BUYING A HOT TUB
. . . so we could have a place to “hash things over.” Some of my best memories as a teen are coming home after something happened at school or with sports or with friends and asking, “Wanna hit the tub, Dad?” and knowing that you’d never say no, so we could have life-shaping conversations. Thanks, Dad.
17. TEACHING US THE IMPORTANCE OF MENTORS
You did this by having multiple mentors yourself and regularly showing us how they helped you. To this day, learning from men around me is a deeply held value of mine, one that has served me, my wife, our family, and our church well. Thanks, Dad.
A wise man is not a perfect man, but a repentant man.
18. SITTING ON THE FRONT ROW
. . . at church, Bible open, taking furious notes and bellowing hearty “Amen’s” while I preach. In this, you show me what it’s like for a man to be a lifelong learner.
19. CONFESSING SIN OFTEN
You were not perfect, but when you messed up, you were quick to confess it and repent of it. These made me feel safe, like I could follow you without fear. There was integrity in your life, and it gave me confidence in your leadership. You taught me by your example that a wise man is not a perfect man, but a repentant man. Thanks, Dad.
20. BEING THE FIRST PERSON I WANTED TO CALL
. . . when we found out Ella Mae would be born with Spina Bifida. That was a dark-night-of-the-soul moment. A confusing time. And all I knew was I needed to call my dad. You listened and affirmed your love for us and God’s plan in all the pain. Then you prayed with us and invited us over to the house. We needed to “talk it out and make a plan for this new little blessing God’s bringing into our lives.” I needed someone to tell me that day that this little girl would be a blessing, and you did. Thanks, Dad.
21. LOVING MY WIFE LIKE YOUR OWN DAUGHTER
She feels your love, she feels your support. She knows that if we came to you for counsel with a relationship conflict between us, that you’d take her side first before you’d take mine. “I think we love her more than we love you, Josh. I know we like her more,” you’ve said with a wink and a laugh. But it’s communicated the point. And that’s a wonderful thing for a daughter-in-law to know. Thanks, Dad.
I could go on but I’m way over word-count. So thanks, Dad, for loving Jesus and living a life that makes it easy to remember and honor. I love you deeply and am still watching closely as you follow Jesus and finish well. You have lived a life worth emulating, and I’ve been taking notes. May I learn from God’s grace in your life to love my children the same.
When writing about the breakdown of the family in Communist China back in the early 1960s, Valentin Chu made this observation:
“The family everywhere is a man’s source of strength and courage as well as his emotional harbor at times of natural disaster and personal misfortune. In China it was even more so. It was society itself. The Chinese communists were acutely aware that their control of the people could never be effective unless the monolithic family system was destroyed, along with religion and conventional morals.”
Can you destroy the family without destroying pure religion and morals right along with it? Consider Mr. Chu’s words as you read the following excerpt–
Once upon a time, men were men, women were women, and both seemed to not only be okay with this, but they liked it quite a lot. More than a lot. They loved it. And they loved each other. All in a manner approved by the Southern Baptist Convention, of course.
Consequently, they loved their life. All of it. Not all of the time, maybe, but close enough to seem crazy from a contemporary perspective.
These men and women would come together to build homes; not the brick or wood kind, but the people kind. They would then seek to have and raise children. Many children. As many as they could have…and then they’d want more.
They loved their homes.
They loved their children.
They loved their God, and it was their love of and devotion to this God that had made all the rest of it possible. Life was good.
Older family members were lovingly tended to and taken care of by the younger. Their wisdom was treasured. Little boys and little girls basked in the glow of their stories, experience, and hard-earned depth.
They all lived, loved and laughed together.
They even ate together.
Are you feeling sick yet?
Is this all just a little too Little House on the Prairie for you? Or maybe a lot?
Don’t sweat it; that’s a normal reaction to the sight of God’s plan for families in action from a contemporary secular perspective. It happens all the time. It’s called “improper emotion sickness,” and while Dramamine doesn’t do much for this form of disorientation, there is a solution, so try to relax. We’ll get to it shortly.
This is just a hyper-Rockwellian fantasy spin on history, you might be thinking. But you’d be wrong. And I think you know it already. I think that we all do. All Common Believers, anyway.
We all know that God gave us something of matchless beauty and power in His ordination of the family, and that we, as we tend to do with every good and precious thing entrusted to our care, have profoundly trashed it in every way imaginable (and then some). So we like to pretend that those vivid, detailed family pictures painted in His perfect Word are completely detached from reality; rendered impossible by the “more factual” representation dictated by the prevailing views of the time in which we now live. We’d never say it out loud—God’s Word being “completely detached from reality”—but we definitely think it. And we act accordingly.
We divorce at rates in perfect harmony with the openly anti-Christian folk roaming the landscape. We pursue relationships and romance in the same distinctly unbiblical manners so highly esteemed and advocated by the culture. We know that homosexuality might technically be a problem, but we love Will & Grace. We value children like the culture, meaning: We murder and defend the right to murder innocent babies just as the world does.
When we do let them live, we abdicate our responsibility to raise and educate our children, instead shipping them off to government-controlled schools for Christ-less “education.”
We define success just as the world does, exalting the pursuit of careers, education, titles, cars, and houses well above the pursuit of a large and growing Bible-centered and happy home.
In short, we are the world. There is no discernable, substantive difference. So what is the solution to all of these profound problems and “improper emotion sickness” too?
Is it a new ten- or twelve-step program?
Maybe a cool set of acronyms to help you memorize a new ten or twelve step program?
Could it be a cool new hip and relevant ministry aimed at helping you realize your best family now by repainting your Christian faith with a bluesy, jazzy new perspective?
Nope.
It’s just the Bible. Sorry folks; that’s the only real thing I’ve got to offer here. (And no, I’m not really sorry at all…and you won’t be either.)
Buss, Scott Alan (2011-09-25). Fire Breathing Christians, R3VOLUTION Press. Kindle Edition.
This is the first time since I have started writing the Wednesday Wisdom post each week that I have used the same book two weeks in a row. I am about half-way through Fire-Breathing Christians, the Common Believer’s Call to Reformation, Revival, and Revolution. I find myself wishing that every Christian would read this book. In a rather quirky and very readable writing style, the author educates the reader on many of the unbiblical teachers and movements of the modern-day church, using God’s Word as his grid.
Have you ever met one of those people that is just too cool for anything?
They are too cool to laugh or be seen with certain people or to go to a certain store. They look down their noses at certain brands, certain types of people, and certain styles.
And they are usually very cool.
But I have always wondered — how much fun are they missing out on?
Now, I am often berated (especially by my kids) for how “uncool” I am. But one of the wonderful things about growing older is not caring as much about what people think.
That’s why you often see seniors marching to the beat of a different drummer–with what they wear, the things they do, and the life they live. They have learned a valuable lesson: do the things you want to (or the Lord wants you to) and don’t give even a second’s worth of thought to the cool factor.
Of course, there is a measure of common sense to this. As believers, we are supposed to consider the feelings of others. I am not talking about that here. I am talking about doing (or not doing) something because you are scared of what people will say about you.
I have always been somewhat of a “non-conformist”. That can get me in trouble sometimes, but, for the most part, I wouldn’t want to live life any other way. So I am usually willing to try anything at least once.
Take my experience a few years ago in Dominican Republic. They were giving free scuba diving lessons in the pool for resort guests. My husband and I thought, “Why not? We are game. Scuba sounded like a very cool thing to do.”
But, I discovered (or shall I say was reminded) that day that I HATE being underwater. I became totally claustrophobic–and I was only in a stupid swimming pool! I don’t think I will ever be searching for lost treasure ships.
But that is because I don’t like it. No because I feel like someone else wants me to scuba dive or not scuba dive.
This takes on spiritual meaning when we consider that standing up for our convictions is often very uncool.
It is just not cool to avoid certain movies, bands, and TV shows. It is cool to wear immodest clothing, drink beer, and to tell coarse jokes and use foul language.
Unless we are willing to stand firm and risk being uncool, we won’t be able to make a difference for the Lord. After all, how can we be salt and light (Matthew 5:13-16) if we look and act just like everybody else.
So, alas, I know full well that I am totally uncool. But, truthfully, I am okay with that–because God’s thoughts about me are really the only thing that matters…and if He is pleased, then I will be living the life I am supposed to live…regardless of what other people say :)
Yesterday I finally made time to color my hair. Yes, I color my hair. If I didn’t, it would be three {very unattractive} shades darker and streaked with gray. I’ll go gray…eventually. Just not quite ready for that yet. ANYWAY…
As I sat there on the floor in the bathroom waiting the set amount of time for the color to process (45 minutes to cover gray) I couldn’t help but have some time to think. I remembered the time, probably at least seven or eight years ago now, when I really messed up this process. That was when I bought the boxed kits at Wal-Mart–before I discovered that you could buy much better hair color at Sally Beauty Supply.
In the kits were three tubes–color, developer, and conditioner. The key was to mix the color and developer together and, after the set amount of processing time, to use the conditioner after it was rinsed out. Well, this time, I wasn’t paying very close attention (didn’t spend much time on me, homeschooling young kids) and I accidentally mixed the color with the conditioner. This wouldn’t have been a big deal if I would have caught it. I could have just went to the store and bought another box. But I didn’t catch it. Not until it had sat on my head for thirty minutes (didn’t have much gray back then) and I had rinsed it out and went to grab the conditioner.
Oh, no! Now what?
Well, I had no choice now, did I? I rinsed my hair out as best I could and proceeded to style it. Oh, my word! I had helmet hair in the very worst sense of the phrase. My hair lay, in all its lackluster and vapid glory, completely flat against my head. Hair full of body has never been my best feature, but that was…well, awful. For weeks afterwards, I had the flattest, dullest hair around. It was embarrassing. To say the least.
So why this incident came to mind yesterday, I have no idea. But for some reason I did think about how parenting is so much like this.
The color is God’s Word, the developer is living by God’s Word and a robust prayer life, and the conditioner is love and discipline. So follow along with my thinking here–
If we mix God’s Word with only love and discipline, but don’t have the life to match, we will raise kids who don’t see God making any difference in our own daily lives. If our kids are hearing God’s commandments in church or even from our own mouths, but then, in our daily lives, they are hearing us scream at each other or they are hearing offensive music on the car radio or they see the seething romance novel on our bedside table, no matter how much love and discipline we meter out, our parenting will fall flat.
We have to be who we want our kids to be.
Unfortunately, that is the way that works best. Oh, sure, sometimes, God is in His grace rescues a child from becoming like their parent–and we thank Him for that. But as I observe the world around me and the many hurting families, I wonder if our examples at home aren’t messing up our testimony in front of our own kids. Every time our kids hear us lie, every time we watch or listen to something that doesn’t glorify God, every time we treat our spouse with disrespect, every time we react in pure and unadulterated anger to our son or daughter’s childish mistakes, we destroy our testimony.
Parenting is such a wonderful privilege but it is no easy task. Remaining genuine and transparent in our own homes isn’t that difficult. But setting a godly example and pleasing the Lord with our choices and actions in our own homes–now that’s hard.
I don’t know if it’s always been like this, but I know I have to fight against my own selfish desires every day. This culture, where instant and complete gratification of any and all desires, reigns supreme, has crept into even the lives of us sincere Christians. I really have to work to keep God number one in my life instead of myself.
But, just like that hair color, if I mix it up wrong, it will not end well. And the big–the tremendous–difference is that, while my constantly growing hair provides me with second chances, we don’t have that second chance with our kids. We have to do it right the first time.
And that’s where the robust prayer life comes in, which is also a part of the very critical developer.
And then the conditioner, comprised of both love and discipline, makes this parenting thing go so much more smoothly.
Okay, so my analogy may not be all that great. Who knows where I come up with some of these things? But, at any rate, I hope I gave you a little something to think about on this day.
The boy actually smiled at me. I was a lowly sophomore and he was a popular senior and he was smiling–at me! I glowed from that smile and eventually we started saying “hi” whenever we saw one another. As prom time approached, I dreamed for a little while but then realistically tossed the idea from my mind. There was no way that he would ask me. Until he did. He actually invited me to go to prom with him.
Only I wasn’t allowed to go to school dances.
While all of my friends and my parents’ friends’ kids went to prom, I was not allowed to go.
Funny thing is — I didn’t really care that much. I didn’t know the boy at all and foresaw an awkward, uncomfortable night ahead of me. I was actually glad I wasn’t allowed to go.
But my point here is: had I begged, pleaded, and screamed I still would not have been allowed to go. Even though “everybody” else was allowed to, I wasn’t.
My parents cared more about my spiritual well-being than they cared about my popularity.
I don’t know if your kids go to school dances and that’s not the point here. I feel blessed to have my kids at a Christian school where we don’t have that issue to even deal with. But many has been the time over the past ten years that we have had to be the unpopular parents because our kids weren’t allowed to go the coolest movie (rated R) or buy the latest video game (way too violent).
Our kids have been mocked, ridiculed, and told that their parents are way too strict. We have been distanced and told that we take entertainment way too seriously and that we judge others (even if we don’t say a word — I think it’s just by our standards).
Peer pressure is not just for teenagers. But if we don’t learn to withstand it as a teenager, it will grow even harder as an adult. That is why it is so important to teach our kids to stick with their convictions and to stand strong, no matter the cost–and then to set that example with our own lives.
This can only come when they understand that pleasing God is more important than pleasing self. If we can teach them (and show them by our own lives) that we are accountable to God and to use His Word to discern the best choices, then the rest will fall into place.
But sometimes we fail as parents. Big-time. In those moments, I am so very thankful for God’s faithfulness and for the privilege of prayer.
What is most important to you? That your child pleases God or that he is the star of the team? That she hold to her convictions or that she is the most popular girl in school?
There is something about us parents that drives us to want our kids to be the ones that everyone else wants to be like. And in our quest for this, we sometimes fall to peer pressure, because in our hearts we realize they won’t be popular if they don’t go to that movie, go to that dance, go to that party.
And it is true. As a kid, I wasn’t all that popular because of my parents’ rules. But all of these years later, I am deeply, deeply grateful for their protection. Because in the scope of life, it matters more that I developed a life of biblical conviction than that I was popular.
As parents, it is our responsibility to protect our kids. Even if they don’t want the protection (and some won’t, especially young teenagers). But if you stick to your guns, it gets better. By the way, be sure to tell your kids why these rules are made. Teenagers need reasons. A rule without a reason almost always leads to rebellion. Take your child to scripture and tell them why you are taking a stand.
And then, after many battles, there comes that wonderful, wonderful day when your teenager comes home and tells you about their opportunity to challenge their friends and to take a stand for discernment…the lost virtue. Those moments make all of the grief so worth it.
Oh, my kids still make choices sometimes that do not please me. But then I remember that I did the same thing as a young person as I tried to sort my way through this filthy culture. That’s where prayer takes over.
So stand strong, my friend. Don’t cave. Loving and pleasing God is so much more important than experiencing the fickle love of man.
Being a mother was the only dream I had as a little girl. Oh, I know many women who aspire to be doctors, lawyers, politicians, and peace-keepers. But me–well, the only thing I ever truly wanted was to marry a godly man and have four children. Why God saw fit to make my dreams come true I will never understand, but I will always be grateful. On this Mother’s Day, I can honestly say that my children are an amazing blessing to me. All the work, the tears, the anguish, the angry words, the worry…they have all been worth it. As I have grown older as a mother, I have been challenged in my opinions and my priorities. Nothing has grown me up in Christ more than raising children. And, so it is with these thoughts that I write the following to my children —
I don’t care what grades you get or what school awards you win, as long as I know you are trying your very hardest.
I don’t care where you live, as long as I know you are serving the Lord with everything you are.
I don’t care what career you choose, as long as you are working hard and are keeping God and your family your top priorities.
I don’t care what you study or what degree you pursue, as long as studying God’s Word is always most important.
I don’t care what you watch, listen to, or read, as long as you choose with a heart that wants to please God more than wants to please self.
I don’t care what the world thinks about you, as long as God is pleased with your life.
I don’t care who loves you, but only how you love others.
I don’t care what accolades, awards, and contests you win, but only that you are a graceful loser and a humble winner.
I don’t care if you marry someone short or tall, plain or good-looking, as long as your choice loves God with all of their heart, soul, mind, and strength.
I don’t care if my grandchildren are child prodigies, I only care that you teach them to love Jesus with all of their being.
Life is short and the choices we make mold the next generation. I pray that you would be bold and spiritually strong and that you hunger for holiness and righteousness. I pray that God would give you a hatred for sin and that you will be prepared to face the battles and dark days that surely lie ahead. You four are such an incredible blessing to me. I am not sure you will ever truly understand…until you have your own kids. Until then, know that you can’t do anything that would keep me from loving you. And I am in your corner –maybe not always saying what you want me to, but urging you to glorify God with your life and to use your talents and life for Him.
In this current day it is not difficult to find something to worry about. The economy, financial woes, diseases and illnesses, the future of our country and the church, and struggling relationships are just a few things that can cause us to worry. But our generation doesn’t have the corner on the anxiety market. Throughout the ages, people have struggled with anxiety and fear. Thankfully, the Bible speaks to this sin (yes, it is a sin and not a disorder). In God’s Word we find that not even a sparrow falls unless it is God’s will. When we worry we forget just how big and powerful God is. We forget that His will, His timing, and His ways are not ours. Of course, this is so much easier to write than to live out. John MacArthur wrote a blog series on this topic on his Grace to You website last fall and I want to share one post here today. You can find a link to the whole series after this post. I hope you are challenged by this as much as I was–
If you worry, what kind of faith do you manifest? “Little faith,” according to Jesus (Matthew 6:30). If you are a child of God, you by definition have a heavenly Father. To act like you don’t, nervously asking, “What will I eat? What will I drink? What will I wear for clothing?” is to act like an unbeliever in God’s eyes (vv. 31-32).
Christians who worry believe God can redeem them, break the shackles of Satan, take them from hell to heaven, put them into His kingdom, transform their nature, and give them eternal life, but just don’t think He can get them through the next couple of days. That is pretty ridiculous. We can believe God for the greater gift and then stumble and not believe Him for the lesser one.
The Worrier Strikes Out at God
Some might say, “Why make a big deal out of worry? It’s just a trivial sin.” No, it is not. I suspect many mental illnesses and some physical illnesses are directly related to worry. Worry is devastating. But more important than what worry does to you is what it does to God. When you give in to worry you are saying, in effect, “God, I just don’t think I can trust You.” Worry strikes a blow at the person and character of God.
The Worrier Disbelieves Scripture
It breaks my heart to hear some Christians say, “I believe in the inerrancy of Scripture,” but then live as perpetual worriers. That’s blatant hypocrisy. It is incongruous to say how much we believe the Bible and then live in doubt and worry that God won’t fulfill what He has said in it.
The Worrier Is Mastered by Circumstances
When you or I worry, we are choosing to be mastered by our circumstances instead of by the truth of God. The uncertainties and trials of life pale in comparison to the greatness of our salvation. Jesus wants us to realize it doesn’t make sense to believe God can save us from eternal hell, but can’t help us in the practical matters of life. The apostle Paul reflects a similar desire in Ephesians 1:18-19.
I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you will know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the surpassing greatness of His power toward us who believe.
When you catch yourself worrying, go back to Scripture and have your eyes opened again.
The Worrier Distrusts God
When we worry, we are not trusting our heavenly Father. That means we don’t know Him well enough. Take heart—there’s an effective remedy: study the Word of God to find out who He really is and how He has supplied the needs of His people in the past. That will build your confidence in Him for the future. Stay fresh in God’s Word every day so that His truth is constantly on your mind. Otherwise Satan is apt to move into the vacuum and tempt you to worry about something. Instead, let God’s track record in Scripture and in your own life assure you that worry is needless because of God’s bounty, senseless because of God’s promise, useless because of its impotence to do anything productive, and faithless because it is characteristic of unbelievers.
Find this entire post here, and the entire series on attacking anxiety here.
