Life

Can You Just Be a Little Nice?

Leave a Comment / November 20, 2014

Argument-1024x907

Have you ever talked to one of those arrogant, condescending types? The kind that get your defenses up in world-record time? The type that you just want to ask– Can you just be a little nice? I don’t want to stretch you too much here, but some kindness would go a long way.

I’m sure you know the kind.

I had the opportunity of talking with a guy like that the other day. I had to make a business call. I just wanted to have a pleasant discussion. Instead I ended up with–well, let’s just say it wasn’t pleasant.

People like this make my blood boil. I mean you can just tell me what you have to say in a kind way. You don’t have to make me feel like an idiot.

I have had these conversations with vendors and customers. In fact, the customer ones always make me laugh. So let me make sure I understand–you are upset with me because I am asking you for money that you have owed for months? Okay then. If you are in any customer service or job where you deal with people, I am pretty sure you will be able to relate.

But we can have these conversations with co-workers, other parents on the sidelines of the soccer field or basketball court, friends, family, and, sadly enough, in the hallways and conference rooms of our churches. They are certainly not relegated to the Business World only.

I replayed that conversation over in my mind to determine two things–

What could he have done to help the situation? I ask this so that I keep this in mind when dealing with others.

and

How could I have responded better? I ask this so I can keep my Christian testimony with these particularly infuriating kind of people.

So, first, as I thought about the whole conversation, I realized that he immediately set me on edge with his tone. His tone was arrogant, condescending, and rude. He acted like he knew everything and I knew nothing. He also made me feel quite helpless with his lack of flexibility and unwillingness to compromise. Instead of working together to solve a problem, he made it very clear that he wasn’t interested and was not going to join me in solving anything. And, finally, he wounded with this words. Instead of using words to heal and solve problems, he used them to belittle and build walls.

I am not sure why this guy was so unpleasant. I had never had any contact with him before. He doesn’t own the company I called, so he isn’t vested personally. I came to the conclusion that he’s just unpleasant. And I hung up very thankful that I am not married to a guy like that one. Wow.

But the question is: Do I ever act–even slightly– like this guy? When I am cornered or upset or “sure I’m right”, am I arrogant or condescending? Unwilling to yield or compromise? Keep in mind I am not talking about biblical issues and principles here. Of course, we never yield or compromise truth. But I am talking about the interpersonal stuff of life that has no consequence. The stuff that doesn’t matter in the long run. What kind of attitude do I bring to these issues?

It’s a question to consider.

And then I had to look at how I responded. Did I emanate Jesus Christ and His love for this man? I knew the answer was no. This has been one of the main challenges for me in running a business with my husband for the past 27 years– responding to critical and unkind people. Since we have two admin assistants now, I rarely answer the phone or deal directly with people anymore (for which I am so incredibly grateful!) so I was very pleased to realize that I responded much better than I would have 20 years ago. God’s done a work in me. No question about that. Of course, there are miles and miles to go. And I still could have done better.

I realized that I did not have an eternal perspective as I talked to this guy. Instead I immediately got defensive, which put an unkind edge into my voice. Instead of thinking about the fact that this guy may not know Jesus, I immediately became consumed with my wounded pride and focused on how I was feeling at that moment. Instead of using my words to encourage and heal, I used them to defend myself and fight back. I could’ve done so much better.

You know, this is the nitty gritty stuff of life. This is where our Christianity shines brightly or shows itself to be tarnished and unlovely. How we treat others and how we respond to others is one of the most basic ways we give our testimony each and every day.

 

 

No Personality Transplant Required (for women only)

Leave a Comment / November 17, 2014

GroupWomen

 

I usually try to write for any Christian. But today’s post is just for women. Of course, men can certainly read it, but I don’t think they will really get it. I heard something yesterday in church and felt like I just had to write about it, because I am thinking that it may not just be me that struggles with this particular concern.

We Christian women have been hearing the phrase “gentle and quiet spirit” forever. For years and years, I have felt so incredibly guilty because I am just. not.

Really, it has been one of the most discouraging things ever for me. I naturally tend to take charge (even when I’m not asked) and I can talk too much, if I’m not very careful. I am not gentle. Or quiet. And I struggle with being submissive, too. There. I said it. (You can click here for my post on submission. I won’t write much about that today).

I used to watch Christian women who were “gentle and quiet” — at least in how they portrayed themselves in public– and get a little jealous. Why couldn’t I be more like them? Dignified. Quiet. Even shy.

As I have gotten older, I have gained a much deeper understanding into this. I have seen “godly” women–quiet, shy ones– who years later are not exhibiting much fruit. Their kids have walked away from the Lord. They aren’t really ministering in any area of their lives. Or I have found out that they are pernicious gossips behind the scenes. Of course, there are many quiet, shy women who are truly lovely women of God. And that’s really the whole point. But I’m getting a little ahead of myself here.

So let’s go back to what I heard yesterday in church. We watched a video in our ladies’ Sunday School class that really brought this all together in my mind.  At one point, Nancy Leigh DeMoss said something like she believed for a long time that she would need a personality transplant in order to be godly woman. She just knew she didn’t have a quiet and gentle spirit. I had never heard the struggle put that exact way before, but as soon as she said it, I could totally and completely relate. It struck something deep inside me.

In many ways, I have felt like I have left my Savior down, my family down, and my church down just by being me. I have felt like it is impossible to be a godly woman.

But here’s the thing–

Perhaps we haven’t defined the words correctly. I remember that when I wrote the Sermon on the Mount in a Nutshell  post that I was surprised by the actual meaning of those verses in Matthew 5. All my life I had defined certain terms in that passage completely wrong–words like “mourn” and “meek.”. Perhaps the same thing has been true of these words “gentle” and “quiet”.

And logic would dictate that if we start with the wrong definition, we end up with the wrong conclusion.

So let’s define these words, using the specific Greek terms (keep in mind that I am no Greek scholar by any means)–

πραέως (praus): This difficult-to-translate root (pra-) means more than “meek.” Biblical meekness is not weakness but rather refers to exercising God’s strength under His control – i.e. demonstrating power without undue harshness; humble.

[The English term “meek” often lacks this blend – i.e. of gentleness (reserve) and strength.]

ἡσυχίου (hescuchios): (an adjective derived from hēsyxos, “quiet, stillness”) – properly, quiet (still), i.e. steady (settled) due to a divinely-inspired inner calmness; (“calmly quiet”) describes being “appropriately tranquil” by not misusing (or overusing) words that would stir up needless friction (destructive commotion).

As we read these definitions, we begin to understand that being gentle and quiet has absolutely nothing to do with our personality and everything to do with surrendering our will to God’s and living obediently, according to His Word.

You see, this verse is for all of us. As we mature, we should be cloaked in “divinely-inspired inner calmness”– whether we are an introvert or an extrovert. As we grow up in the Lord, we should be demonstrating humility.

And let’s keep in mind that being an extrovert does not mean one is filled with pride, just as being an introvert does not mean one is filled with humility. A quiet person can easily be more prideful than a talkative one. Sometimes we get a little confused on this.

NOW– all that being said– there are some things we need to face.

No matter what personality we have been given by God (Psalm 139:13), it can be used for God’s glory or for our own. Challenges abound for us, no matter what our natural bents are. The key is to recognize the area in which we struggle and, by the help of the Holy Spirit, to work at changing it.

For example, a strong personality may struggle with speaking words at the appropriate time while an introvert may struggle with developing the courage to speak words at all. One woman may struggle with responding with love and compassion, while another may struggle with enabling people in their struggles.

We need to recognize that God has uniquely designed (and blessed) us with the gifts, talents, and quirks that we have. And, along with that, we need to realize that each and every one of us– no matter what our personality is– has struggles and victories and needs and blessings.

No matter what personality we have been given, we have the glorious opportunity of using it to honor and glorify Christ. So let’s make sure that we grab that opportunity and, by God’s great grace and mercy, use it to the best of our ability.

If you have found this post helpful, I would sure appreciate if you would share it. Thank you!

 

Oswald Bunny and a Lesson Learned

Leave a Comment / November 13, 2014

Oswald_rabbitWe were exploring Hollywood Studios, Disney’s movie-themed park when everyone decided it was time to ride the Tower of Terror. I thought briefly about going along but then realized that I would enjoy wandering around the park by myself much more than standing in line for a ride I wasn’t even sure I’d like. And so I wished my family well and told them I’d meet up with them in an hour.

I first stopped at a little bookstore set back away from the crowd. I paged through a few books, especially enjoying the first few pages of a biography about Walt Disney. I made a note of the author and then moved on. I then came to the Walt Disney: One Man’s Dream attraction. I enjoyed seeing the journey of this man and his “empire”, from its humble beginnings to its present state. The one thing that really stuck with me was Oswald Bunny.

Oswald Bunny was a character that Walt had created in his early years. Around 1928, through a series of unfortunate and hurtful events, Oswald Bunny was stolen. Not only that, but Walt also lost many of his best employees through the fiasco. Was this the end of his dreams as an animated artist? Of course, we know it was not.

Instead of drowning in his sorrows and giving up, Walt went on that same year to come up with another original idea. As he was riding on a train with his wife, he told her his idea of a mouse he wanted to call Mortimer. She suggested the name “Mickey”, as the name “Mortimer” sounded too pretentious. And thus was born the famous Mickey Mouse. While Oswald the Bunny faded into obscurity, Mickey Mouse became the icon of all that is Disney.

Now why am I sharing this history?

Because the one thing I took from this particular event in Walt Disney’s life is his perseverance through hurt and trials. While I have no idea if Walt was a believer or not, I think we can definitely learn something from him about perseverance.

Perseverance: steadfastness in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success.

So, how does this relate to our Christian walk specifically? In 2 Peter 1:5-9, we can see that, if we want to avoid spiritual blindness and stumbling, perseverance is a necessary trait. But perseverance can be quite challenging to develop in our own lives. It is so tempting to give up in the midst of trials or when we can’t see any success in the near future. This has probably gotten so much worse with the event of this age, where if things don’t work instantly, they are quickly abandoned.

So how do we develop godly perseverance in our own lives? I believe there are a few key ways–

1. Don’t compare yourself to others.

It is so easy to look at someone else’s success and just want to give up. But there will always be someone more successful than you are. We need to keep our eyes focused on the ministry, the spiritual growth, and the duties that God has set before us, instead of focusing on others.

2. Don’t measure your success by how much applause and praise you get from mere mortals.

As I write this, I think of some of the great missionaries who sacrificed all to go to pagan lands a hundred or more years ago. When they arrived in these foreign countries, the natives were not falling all over themselves to hear the gospel. Instead, these missionaries practiced much perseverance, receiving little praise or glory. The fruits of their perseverance are evident today, but they weren’t very evident during their ministry. They persevered, anyway.

By the way, If you haven’t read any missionary biographies, I highly recommend doing so. They are so interesting and so much more useful to our Christian growth than romance novels. Some of the most interesting and life-changing that I’ve read are the stories of Gladys Aylward, Isobel Kuhn, George Muller, Amy Carmichael, and Gracia Burnham.

3. Keep your eyes focused on the Lord.

Sometimes, when we receive no praise and glory and we see the successes of others, it is tempting to start relying on our own human deductions. Thoughts like “This isn’t worth it” or “I will never be able to get over this in my past” or “this ministry will never be successful” crowd our mind and we give up. Instead, we need to continue to trust the Lord, ask Him to guide and confirm that we are in His will, and then continue on. We need to turn away from the thoughts of discouragement that plague us and instead keep our eyes fixed on Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith.

4. Learn from our painful moments.

When we are most hurt or embarrassed or torn apart is when we are most vulnerable to the voice that tells us to give up. But instead of giving up, we need to turn to the Lord for comfort and guidance, asking the Lord specifically what He wants us to learn from this time and then be humble enough to learn it. Sometimes, we do need to give up a favorite project or ministry. The key is being able to discern when that is. And, of course, we are never to give up on growing more like Jesus. So that is never even an option.

5. Be careful how you define success.

In this day and age of social media and quickly rising stars, we have to be careful in how we define success as Christians. If you can help even one person understand salvation, is that not a great success for the Lord? The Bible says that the angels rejoice when even one sinner repents! (Luke 15:10)

Sometimes we rely a little too heavily on the numbers. You can even see so many pastors fall prey to this line of thinking, as they become obsessed over the attendance numbers instead of focused on growing the sheep that are already in their fold. But can we overestimate the value of even one soul coming to know the Lord or growing closer to Him through your ministry? If even one person is changed by your ministry, is that not worth it?

Perseverance is really not a popular concept these days, but may I encourage you (and myself, too!) to keep on keeping on. If you are discouraged– as a ministry worker, as a parent, as a pastor or pastor’s wife, or just simply as a believer– then turn your eyes to Jesus and keep your eyes focused on eternity.

 

 

The Deformed Apple

Leave a Comment / November 2, 2014

413__880

As I was doing applesauce the other day I came upon this weird-looking apple. It had the stem to the side, making it look like a little hunchback. It made me smile. Of course, I didn’t hesitate to cut it open and use it because on the inside the apple was just like all the others. It was just on the outside that the apple looked different.

I remember as a little girl how hesitant I was to approach anyone with physical disabilities (that was in the day when we called them “handicapped”). They were different than me and it made me nervous. I would kind of stand back and watch them.

As I got older, the discomfort slowly dissipated, as a new awareness filled me– These are people just like anybody else. They have feelings and ideas and personalities. They are just trapped in bodies that do not look everyone else’s.

This is true of anyone who looks different than us. This is true of grossly overweight people, your neighbors who are from a different country, or the co-worker who is a different race than you.

We tend to want to hang with people who look like us. The problem with this is that our world view becomes extremely narrow when we do this.

One of the best things that happens for me when I travel outside of the United States are the encounters with people who are different than me.

As I listen to our group leader talk through an interpreter to the old lady who is raising her grandchildren in a slapped-together wooden structure with a tree growing in the middle of it, I can see the emotions on her face. I see the creases on her well-worn hands and the pride that lights up her eyes when she looks upon the children scampering through the hut.

And I am familiar with her delight and her sadness and her hesitation. I have felt those same things. Maybe we aren’t so different, after all. She has just been given a different (much harder) life than I was. She was born in a different country. With a different color skin.

I have little videos of these moments in my head from all of the different countries I have visited. These moments have really helped me to step outside of my comfort zone when I return home.

We don’t need to be scared of someone who looks different than us. They are just people. Like you and me.

I am reading through the gospels right now and I am struck at how Jesus ministered to anyone. He was not picky. In fact, a good example of this is when he very purposefully ministered to the woman at the well (John 4). Not only was she a Samaritan — a race of people who were ostracized by the Jews, but she was also a woman, and therefore considered a second-class citizen in those days.

We need to remove the barriers within us that keep us from sharing Christ with those that are different from us. We need to remember that people, just like apples, are the same inside. They feel hurt and joy and frustration the same as us. They are born sinners, just like us. God loves them, just like He loves us.

Step outside your comfort zone today and start up a conversation with someone who is different than you. You’ll be glad you did.

Dealing with Difficult People: Part 2

Leave a Comment / October 30, 2014

difficult people

Difficult people. We all have them in our lives. How do we wrestle with impossible, unpleasant situations over which we have no control? How do we work through the anger and the frustration and the hopelessness when someone keeps hurting us–over and over again. I have really been thinking about this a lot lately.

If you are a regular reader, you may remember Part 1. You can read it here. If you haven’t read it, I suggest you do. What I wrote there truly revolutionized how I view difficult people in my life. It was written a  few months ago and it was never intended to have a Part 2. However, God has led me to think further about this topic that is so painful and affects so many people. This is my first paragraph from Part 1–

Have you ever had to deal with someone you just couldn’t make happy? Or perhaps it is someone who lies constantly, is consistently unkind, or very angry? Or maybe they just absolutely exhaust you by telling you all of their woes? Sometimes, if they are friends, we can gently extricate ourselves from these relationships. But, many times, we can’t. We may go to church together. Or we may work together. More often than not, our difficult relationships are within our own families.

If you can relate to this, then I think you will find this post helpful. I would like to share some specific steps we can take to work through a never-ending and seemingly hopeless situation. Notice I did not say “easy” steps. But we need to remember that oftentimes the hardest steps yield the greatest rewards. And if you can take these steps–one slow step at a time– I promise that the bitterness that is welling inside you will dissipate and you will grow stronger spiritually. I can promise you this because these steps are straight from scripture.

1. Submit to God’s sovereignty in your life. This is the first step we need to take in any difficult and troubled situation. It is how we need to view any frustrating and annoying person we come across. We can never change someone else, so we need to instead turn our eyes to God and recognize that He has allowed this person or situation in our life for a reason. It is probably to help us grow more like Christ. We can shake our fist at God and rail that it isn’t fair or we can submit humbly and ask God what He wants to teach us through this. Both attitudes have consequences. If we choose to be angry, then we will grow hard and bitter. If we choose to submit, we will be filled with the peace that passeth understanding. It is our choice. Of course, Romans 8:28-30 is perfect for this idea of God’s Sovereignty but also check out Philippians 1:6 and Romans 5:1-5.

2. Love and forgive the other person(s). So, I know this one is a whole lot easier to write than it is to do. But I didn’t come up with this one on my own. This comes straight from the pages of scripture. Check out Matthew 5:44-48 and Luke 6:27. And then turn to Matthew 6:14-15 and Ephesians 4:31-32. There are many more. I just picked a couple. It would seem that loving our enemies and forgiving them are a pretty big part of a genuine Christian faith. We don’t have a choice here.

So how do we do this? I am going to share something that has helped me tremendously. When I am at the end of myself and have no love to offer or forgiveness to extend, I ask the Lord to fill me with His love and forgiveness for that person. And He answers that prayer! You see, sometimes we are humanly incapable of giving that love and forgiveness. But God is all-powerful and He has provided the Holy Spirit to guide and strengthen us. He will help us. Keep in mind that this is not a once and done thing. It is often a prayer that we need to pray for weeks, months, or even years. But don’t stop asking. And He won’t stop answering.

3. Surround yourself with godly people who will build you up. When we are struggling and suffering, it’s important we don’t fall prey to the very human temptation to hang out with those who will help us point a finger of blame, talk unkindly about the other person, and excuse our sinful attitudes. Instead, surround yourself with friends who will encourage you to respond correctly and biblically. Look up Proverbs 27:5-6 and Proverbs 13:20.

Again, not easy. I know when I am really upset, the last thing I want is someone telling me what the Bible says. And, look, I’m not talking about one of those friends who annoyingly always seems to have the answer and is quite arrogant in the way they give it to you. With friends like that who needs enemies?? No, I am talking about a true and wise friend who will listen and empathize, pray with you and for you, and will lovingly challenge your sinful attitudes.

4. Don’t allow Satan to get a foothold in your life because of this situation. This is best done by controlling our thought life! When we feel our thoughts spiraling out of control, we need to consciously choose to think about something else. We need to carefully refuse to let our thoughts take us down to that dark pit where we feel hopeless and full of despair. We need to very purposefully turn away from the angry and bitter thoughts that can so easily consume us. Honestly, this takes work and a lot of prayer but it does get easier! Check out Ephesians 4:26-27 and 2 Timothy 2:22-26.

5. Be thankful. This can be tough. These situations can utterly and completely take over our lives. So grab yourself an empty notebook and start a thankful journal. You will be shocked at how much you have for which to be truly thankful. God has blessed all of us in a myriad of ways. Start writing it down and see how this little exercise in gratitude helps to move your focus from your woes to your blessings. I Thessalonians 5:18 and Ephesians 5:20 are just two of many verses in scripture about gratitude.

I hope these steps help you. It won’t be instant and it won’t be easy, but if you can follow them, I truly believe God will work in your heart and your life to grow you tremendously through this trial. An added bonus will be the ability to become that friend who can help others when you get to the other side of this trial. You will really be able to understand the challenges faced by someone going through a similar situation and will be able to be used by God in a mighty way– if you choose to submit instead of shaking your fist. If you choose to be thankful instead of bitter. If you choose to grow instead of staying stuck in the mud.

Victory can be yours! This is not a hopeless situation! But, as always, the choice lies with you. No one else can make it for you. No, you can’t change the other person, but you can take steps to work on your own heart. If we choose to submit and obey, blessing will surely follow!

 

 

Would You Be Convicted?

Leave a Comment / October 27, 2014

874627_81626691

Have you ever had one of those conversations with a fellow believer about someone else’s salvation?

“Are they a Christian?” we ask.

And then we will say things like “Well, he goes to church” or “She said a prayer when she was a young girl.”

And then it will be followed by a “But he has never really shown any fruit” or “Her life has never really changed at all.

Can I just say: I never want to be that person. I never want people to wonder whether or not I am a true believer. I never want anyone to say they never saw any fruit in my life. I will never be perfect this side of heaven–a sad, but altogether true, fact–but I want to be moving the right direction and I want it to be obvious to all people I meet– and perhaps even more obvious to the people I live with (that know me best)– that I am, first and foremost, a disciple of Jesus Christ.

I recently had a conversation with a friend who told me about an exercise a special speaker had with a group of Christian youth. This speaker had brought up one of their teachers and asked the students to present evidence that would indicate that this teacher was godly. The students, and even some adults,  were able to present lots of fruit that showed that this teacher was following Jesus whole-heartedly.

And so we have to ask ourselves–does the fruit that is evident in my life show people that I am saved? Or does it cause people to wonder if I am saved?

And, look, let’s get beyond the basics that so many of us Christians are so good at– going to church faithfully and owning a Bible or two. Let’s dig deeper.

Using Galatians 5:19-23 as our guide, here are a couple of questions to determine how much fruit is on our life’s tree–

~How often do you get angry–really angry?

~Are you completely honest on your tax return or with your boss at work?

~Do you regularly fill your mind with thoughts of fornication, adultery, violence, and bad language through the TV shows and movies you watch, the music you listen to, and the games you play, even though God expressly forbids these things and calls them sin?

~Do you relish talking about others?

~Are you depressed or sad all the time?

~Is self-control evident in how you deal with finances, eating, and how you spend your time?

~Do you enjoy a good party and see no harm in getting drunk once in awhile?

~Do you think a little witchcraft never hurt anyone and have no problem bringing something that deals with the supernatural into your home– considering it all just good fun?

~Are you faithful to your spouse, not only in the typical sense, but also in what you say about him or her to others?

~Are you so focused on your own ambitions that people know they’d better stay out of your way? Whether it’s as small as picking a restaurant or as big as choosing a career– does your family feel like you always have to win? Do you ever concede your own personal preference just for the sake of others?

~Do you worry about the future so much that it steals joy from the present moment? Do you struggle with anxiety?

These are all really difficult questions, aren’t they? And, quite naturally, our first inclination is to think about someone else who seems to have no fruit instead of taking a long, hard look at ourselves. But let’s stop looking around for just a moment and bring it back to ourselves. This post is not about judging the salvation of somebody else. We can never know that. That is for God alone to judge.

And let’s remember: We will never be perfect. So let’s just clear that up once and for all. So if any of these things are struggles in your life it doesn’t mean that you aren’t saved. We all have struggles with sin. Not one of us is exempt.

This is about looking honestly at ourselves.

Let’s think for just a moment about our own life. What is the overall pattern of our life? If we were to go on trial for Christianity, would we be convicted? Would others be able to present enough evidence to show that we are a true believer in Jesus Christ? Would our own family be willing to give testimony for this?

Remember, it’s not about perfection. It’s about direction.*

What is your direction this morning? Does anything need to change? Recognizing that you are headed the wrong direction is the first step to change. And, as my friend, Trent, testified in his testimony (read it here)–if there no fruit whatsoever, it means there is probably no salvation, either.

And, once again, we go back to the Word of God, don’t we? Studying it, knowing it, and using it as our guide for life. If we are just hearing it and not doing it, we are going to miss out on a lot of blessings (James 1:23-25). And people are going to wonder: Is that person even saved?

Let’s make sure that is never a question that people ask about us! Let’s be so loaded down with good fruit that it is clear to everyone around us that we are living our lives wholly for Jesus!

 

*I think this may be my all-time favorite quote by John MacArthur. I need to give credit where credit is due!

If you have been challenged or helped by this post would you consider sharing it? Thank you!

 

 

 

Life is Like a Bunch of Hangers

Leave a Comment / October 25, 2014

hangers

This morning I was getting ready to do laundry, which required grabbing some of the empty hangers from my closet. And no matter how much I try to keep them organized, some always get twisted impossibly together. It’s so annoying. Seriously.

And so I have to sit there and patiently disconnect them one at a time.

Yeah, I know it’s Saturday. It’s not a normal posting day. And this is not going to be a long post.

But I couldn’t help but think about my life being like a bunch of hangers all twisted and intertwined together and sometimes it feels impossible to make it go smoothly. Just when you think that it is, another hanger is lodged someplace that takes time to disentangle.

And I realized that it is only through much prayer and patience that we can truly heal from hurt or change sin patterns. Nothing is instant.

Oh, how I wish it were.

And every hurt and every sin affects others. Hangers don’t get caught up on nothing. They get caught up in other hangers. None of us can sin without sowing consequences for others, as well as ourselves.

So next time you have a bunch of hangers and they are all getting caught on one another, think about how this relates to your life. And then slow down and patiently pull them apart. Because they will come apart. It just takes time.

 

Sometimes.

2 Comments / October 16, 2014

1280072_73127582

Sometimes I feel like I’m writing to myself.

Sometimes I feel like bearing my soul here on the blog makes me too vulnerable to pointing fingers.

Sometimes I worry that I am too narrow or too broad or too vague in what I write.

Sometimes I wonder if people think I am arrogant or ridiculous or unrealistic or harsh.

Sometimes I worry that I annoy people because I am forever posting the blog posts to my social media accounts.

And, many times, I wonder if I am making any difference at all.

We all know that the number of blogs out there are countless. I often feel like the tiniest bit of plankton in the giant ocean of the internet. But I keep writing, anyway. Because I honestly believe it is what God wants me to be doing– at least for right now. How do I know this?

I know this because of so many of you, my faithful readers. Let me explain.

On Monday, my post was about speaking the good to others and I gave you an assignment to try to say at least one nice thing to or about someone each day. It got me thinking about how so many of you have said such kind things to me regarding my writing. It might be in passing, when I see you out of the blue, letting me know you read the blog and thanking me for writing. Or it might be through a short e-mail expressing your appreciation of a particular post. Or you may be one who provides me with constant encouragement, always there when I need a few words to keep me going, reminding me of why I am writing in the first place. And many of you have encouraged me by clicking on the “like” and “share” buttons, letting me know you believe that what I write is actually worth sharing.

Whoever you are, if you have  encouraged me regarding Growing4Life, I want you to know that it has been wonderfully uplifting. And, honestly, I believe your kind words are what has kept me writing the last four and a half years. Whenever I am ready to quit because I feel like no one cares, God will move one of you to encourage me to keep writing because He is using me to help you grow.

I am so humbled by this. Honestly, I am. I have such a long way to go and most of what I write on here are just lessons that I am learning myself. I don’t have it altogether. Which is why I find it even more amazing that God is using me– if even in just a very small way. While I may appear confident and together on the outside, inside I am still insecure, too worried about what people think when I lose sight of my true reason for writing.

And so I want to offer my deepest gratitude to those of you who have helped me stay the course when I have wanted to quit. Your kind words have made such a difference and they have not gone unnoticed.

Offer those kind words of encouragement to someone today in your sphere. This is Day 4 of the Word Power assignment. If you are taking part in the assignment, I hope that you will continue it today.

Because encouraging words do make a difference and this blog is genuine proof of that.

 

Say the Good Stuff

7 Comments / October 13, 2014

word power

We all do it at one time or other. Some of us more than others.

We open our mouths and out pour words that hurt, malign, or tear down. Sometimes we are being sarcastic and mean, other times we just talk without thinking. Very occasionally, we are telling a hurtful hard truth and it needs to be said. But negative words to others or about others often spew from our mouths like water from a spring.

But have you ever noticed that, while we are so free to speak about the stuff we don’t like to someone or about others, we rarely speak what we do like? Have you ever been somewhere and had thoughts like this, “Oh, I really like her new haircut,” or, “He looks like he is losing weight”? Or have you ever been to a soccer game and thought, “Wow, my friend’s son has really improved his game”?  Or maybe you’ve been in church and really enjoyed a special piece by the vocalist or the preacher’s message. Do you take the time to tell them?

Really, you should try it. It’s a great ice breaker and conversation starter. It’s also a wonderful way to encourage and build up others.

Speaking positively about others is also a great way to be an incredible testimony. Have you noticed that when the gang is around the water cooler at work, they are rarely saying nice things about others? Usually they are boss-bashing or gossiping about co-workers. You can stop the whole gossip train by inserting kind words– “The boss isn’t usually like that, maybe something’s wrong,” or “Didn’t she help you with that report last week, Jim?” By refusing to participate in the negative talk that surrounds you, you show almost instantly that there is something very different about you.

Words have such power to build up or break down. It is our natural human tendency (or perhaps I should say sinful nature) to use this power negatively. Even many Christians seem to see this as something less than sin and freely give their hurtful opinions at all times and in all moments. They complain about their husbands and children to others. They make sarcastic remarks to their families. They always feel like it is their personal duty to tell you how you are doing things the wrong way. Many times, they are part of the gossip huddle in the office or at church. You know the ones.

But, as Christians, we should be known for building up with our words. Sure, sometimes –on a very rare occasion– we do need to confront (with truth and much grace)– but most of our negative words just don’t need to be said.

So I have an assignment for you this week–

Say something nice to someone or say something nice about someone to someone else. Do this every day for a whole week.

Perhaps this will help all of us to start developing the habit of speaking kindly to and about one another and move us out of that natural bent towards the negative. Will anyone join me in this assignment?

If you do join the assignment, would you consider coming back here to share your experience by commenting? Or join us at Growing4Life on Facebook to share your stories and thoughts! I will try to share my own experience there each day of this week. Your participation and comments would be very encouraging to me! Thanks so much!

Getting Scammed

2 Comments / October 6, 2014

Indian Call Center

“Hi, Ma’am, I’m calling from Microsoft,” started the voice with a thick accent, indicating he was from a country far away. He continued, “We have been watching your computer, ma’am, and we see that there is a dreadful virus that is running haywire on your computer, ma’am.”

My naturally skeptical self rose to the surface. Yeah, right.

“Umm…which computer are we talking about here– a desktop or a laptop?”

With only a slight nanosecond of hesitation, “your laptop, ma’am. It’s very serious, ma’am. If you don’t fix this, we will have to discontinue connection to your IP address. You will lose all access to your computer. This is very serious, ma’am.”

“How do I know you are calling from Microsoft?”

“Ma’am, I am calling from Microsoft. We keep track of all computers. You have a terrible virus that will start to affect all of the computers around you if you don’t do something about it.”

He went on to give me the worst possible consequences if I didn’t take care of this matter immediately, trying to frighten me into taking his bait.

By this time, I was fairly sure I was dealing with a scam artist. I was in the midst of a really busy day and was in no mood to entertain a scam artist on the phone and so, after assuring him that I would check into this threatening virus with a professional I know, I hung up on him.

When I did finally think to ask my computer specialist, she confirmed my suspicions and assured me that Microsoft is not in the habit of calling customers to let them know their computers have a deadly virus.

I am sure the scam artist was very disappointed not to get his hands on some American money. I am also sure that, without blinking an eye, he called the next number on his list.

And the sad thing is that there will be some sad soul who believes him and is scammed out of hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars. But this scamming doesn’t only go on over the phone from international thieves. It goes on wherever there are people. And it goes on in a multitude of ways. Scamming has been a famous way to gain money or power since time began.

When we talk about being scammed financially, a lot of it has to do with naivete and lack of discernment. If we do not make an effort to be at least somewhat knowledgeable of the world around us and the dangers that are a part of it, we will be easily fooled. But if we do listen and read and take initiative to understand what kind of world we live in, we will be less easily scammed should the situation arise.

But there is something much more dangerous than financial scamming and that is spiritual scamming.  If we don’t take the initiative to know and understand God and to read His Word, we make ourselves very vulnerable to the spiritual scammers of this world. Another part to protecting ourselves is to be constantly aware and on guard.

I could have been very easily scammed by the foreigner on my phone had I not immediately been wary. Let’s be honest, we live in a culture where scams are, unfortunately, a very real and frequent threat.  I was on guard as soon as I heard the first sentence, as many of you would have been, as well.

But so often we don’t practice this same principle when we are listening to a preacher or reading a book. We don’t listen to the song lyrics that are on in our car and we pay little attention to the philosophies behind our church’s decisions.

But in order for us to keep from being spiritually scammed — and to discern truth from error (Philippians 1:9)– we need to apply this same principle to all we put in our mind. It doesn’t matter if it is a sermon by my favorite preacher or the lyrics to a song I’ve heard on the radio a hundred times or a book by my favorite author, we should always be running everything through the grid of God’s Word. Of course, this is only possible if we actually are reading and studying the Bible.

Yes, all of this takes so much work and effort, but if we don’t do this, we are so easily scammed.

Why do some people pay money to a preacher, believing this will lead to healing?

They don’t know God’s Word.

Why do some people believe they can gratify the lusts of the flesh, living in any way they desire and yet still go to heaven as long as they “asked Jesus into their heart”?

They don’t know God’s Word.

Why do some people believe that all ways lead to heaven and that Christianity is just one of them?

They don’t know God’s Word.

Why do some people believe that homosexuality is not a sin?

Because they don’t know God’s Word.

If we study God’s Word with humility and a desire to obey what we learn, and if we pray, asking for insight and understanding, God will answer that prayer (Ephesians 1:15-23). As we become more familiar with the Bible, we become much more astute and discerning when someone teaches something that is not scriptural.

Don’t be a victim of a spiritual scam. Know God’s Word so well that it isn’t even possible to scam you.

 

In case you are wondering why I seem to be writing so much about the Bible lately, I want to fill you in on a couple of reasons–

1. My own passion of God’s Word has grown so much over the past year and I would love for you to have that same passion. In 2015 I am hoping to have a Growing4Life Bible Reading Challenge. More details will come on that soon.

2. I truly believe that the main reason the modern-day church is walking away from its very foundations of truth is because its members do not know the Word of God. We have become so used to being spoon-fed spiritually and, if we are honest, have turned the bulk of our attention to the temporary things of this life. We have become obsessed with our experiences and how we feel about them. These changes have opened wide the door for doctrinal error to enter the church doors. It is my hope that I can encourage even one person to turn back to the Bible and a focus on the eternal. It is truly my hope that this blog will encourage you to include  increasing your knowledge of God, through reading and studying the Bible, in your busy schedule so that you will grow as a believer and be able to discern in these dangerous times. 

Scroll to Top