Life – Page 13 – Growing 4 Life

Painting a Different Color

10 Comments / June 9, 2016 June 9, 2016

My youngest daughter has been after me for awhile now to help her paint her room. She is quite the little artist (I will share a few photos of her work below for anyone interested) and so she decided the other day that she would like to move back into the old room that she used to share with her sister. There is lots of natural light in that room and it will be perfect for her.

She has been talking about re-doing one of the bedrooms for awhile now but, for some reason, I have been hesitating. I think it is because I have enjoyed having a little status quo around here for a bit after all of those weddings. Whew! That was quite a ride. Just today I realized that I actually do not have to do any wedding planning (or paying!) this summer. It almost feels strange!

It is rather ironic, though, that I–the one who says never to be satisfied with Status Quo (see my tagline up above??)–am thankful for it. At least when it comes to home life. I am tired of changes. I just want something to remain the same for a year. Or two. Of course, we all know that this doesn’t happen. While changes are always flowing in and out of our lives through the years, there are certain times that changes happen right after the other and you can hardly catch your breath. Like when your kids start to move out and start their own lives.

But I digress.

So back to the room…

My daughter found just the right comforter set and we took it to Lowe’s yesterday to match the paint. Did you know they do that? They did a fantastic job in pulling the perfect blue-green shade she wanted from the pillow sham we provided. No more staring at paint swatches, trying to find just the right shade.

We took the paint home, ate some lunch, and then got to work. I trimmed for her and she rolled behind me. As I trimmed, I couldn’t help but notice the other colors peeking out from behind my paint brush and I took a little trip down memory lane. We moved into this house when the two youngest girls were just one and three and so the first color I saw below my brush was a pale pink. I remember finding a cool idea somewhere–it wasn’t Pinterest because that didn’t exist–and painting all four walls a different pastel shade. I was pleased when I was done, although I am not sure the girls ever really loved it. And then several years ago, they started complaining about living in a “baby” room and begged to have it redone. As I painted, I remembered the girls’ giving very different opinions about colors and then finally settling on purple and gray; and so the next color under my brush was a medium shade of purple. And now I was covering the purple of the past with a beautiful aqua.

I tried to cover all of the previous colors beneath the brush but it is so hard to do that perfectly. Kind of like life. No matter what good changes we make, there are always vestiges of our past that cling to us. They peek out when we get frustrated or upset. Or when we are disappointed or anxious.

When we get saved, God provides the Holy Spirit to help us to live a life that glorifies and pleases Him. But we still battle our flesh and sometimes those battles can be quite fierce. This is one of the hardest things, isn’t it? As we grow in Christ, it is like we are painting a wall and covering our old man with our new man. But the old man is always there lying beneath the surface. And the more we grow in Christ, the less of the old man we should see. But we can never–on this side of glory–cover him completely.

Paul puts it this way in Galatians 5:16-26–

I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. ¹⁷For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish. ¹⁸But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.

So this means that our flesh is always warring against us, trying to take us down and keep us from living a godly life. It means that we will always have temptations that we need to fight. And that can be exhausting. But true believers keep fighting.

So what exactly does an ungodly life look like, as compared to a godly life? Well, Paul goes on to share that very specifically in verses 19-26 of the same chapter–

¹⁹Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery,^[c] fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, ²⁰idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, ²¹envy, murders,^[d] drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

²²But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. ²⁴And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. ²⁵If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. ²⁶Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.

Our old life of sin and our new life in Christ will look vastly different. Just like the walls I was painting. They were one color and I painted them a different color. I could say that I painted them a different color, but if the wall was still purple, this would prove that my words were not true. Salvation is a bit like this, as well. Many, many people say that they have “accepted Jesus”, but this is not what we use to prove salvation. The verses we see above show us what an unbeliever looks like compared to a genuine Christian and this is what will prove a person’s profession of faith.

Sure, we all have struggles with sin and some of the old color bleeds through sometimes and we will blindly miss a few spots. But true believers hold their paint brush in their hand at all times, working diligently at covering the old man completely so that he shows through as little as possible. Those who say they are believer but really aren’t will live in their sin, claiming forgiveness under the cross. But this goes against all that is in scripture. Forgiveness only comes with genuine repentance. A hard, unrepentant, arrogant heart is not one that has been changed by Jesus Christ.

Are these hard words to hear? They are if someone we love dearly is not exhibiting any of the fruits of the spirit from the verses above but, instead, abounds in the works of the flesh. What does that mean about their eternal destiny? I surely can’t judge but it does give cause for concern.

Sometimes when someone is just getting started at painting their wall, much of the old man still shows. New believers need a ton of grace, just like we did, too, when we got saved. We can only do what we know and they don’t know very much yet, do they? I shudder more for those who have claimed Christ for years and years and yet there are no changes. It is like they have a paint brush right beside them but hesitate to pick it up because they kind of like their old color. A true believer always has a paint brush in their hand. Paul puts it this way in Philippians 2:12-13–

Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling; ¹³for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure.

Paul also says this in 2 Corinthians 5:17–

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.

Notice he doesn’t say that someone in Christ might become a new creation. He says he is. Genuine new life in Christ is best determined by the fruit in someone’s life. Fruit that will continue to grow –albeit sometimes at a snail’s pace–throughout their entire life.

While I have used the painting analogy, the author of Hebrews uses a different (and better) analogy in chapter 12, verses 1-2–

Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, ²looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

However you want to explain it, it is abundantly clear that genuine salvation will involve a lifetime struggle of removing sin from our lives and growing in the fruits of the Spirit. This is not only how we will finish the race and bring glory to God, but also how others will know that we are genuinely saved.

I know this is not a popular thing to write these days. I get it. But I also know that this is what God’s Word says. As I looked for verses, I found an abundance of them throughout all of the New Testament to add credence to what I have written here. True salvation means you are a different color. If someone has remained the same color, there is much reason to doubt their salvation.

Okay, enough hard stuff. That was hard to write and I am sure it was hard to read. But don’t take my word for it. If this post has struck a cord in you, I hope that you will dig into the scriptures for yourself and search them out. Study them in context, using good commentaries and biblical helps if you need to. This is a big deal in this age of easy-believism and it is really important that we understand this important truth from the Bible.

Now, to lighten things up a bit, I will post a few photos of my daughter’s artwork below. I hope that you enjoy them–

What an Incident With a Gorilla Showed the World

11 Comments / June 6, 2016 June 6, 2016

So last week (or was it the week before?) one of the really big news stories was about a boy that fell into a gorilla’s cage at the Cincinnati Zoo. Zookeepers ended up shooting the gorilla to save the boy’s life. While it is a tragedy that the gorilla had to die, I think it is a far greater tragedy to hear what America had to say about it. It really showed us exactly where we are as a nation, didn’t it?

In case you are wondering what I am talking about, let me get a little more specific and give you four things that were confirmed through this incident–

1. First, this incident showed very clearly that love and tolerance only extend to someone that fits in with the proper, politically-correct agenda. There is ZERO love or tolerance if you step outside it. The mother of that boy and the zookeepers have felt the viperous hatred of many in this country, many who probably consider themselves loving, tolerant people. If we unpack this a bit, we see that what is defined as love and tolerance in this crazy, upside-down world, isn’t really either. True love extends grace and mercy to those that we disagree with or who behave in a way that angers us. True tolerance says I can disagree with you without calling you names, destroying you, or needing to force you to agree with me.

We saw this very clearly in the treatment of this naughty boy’s mother and, also, in the zookeepers’ decision to put down the animal for the safety of the boy.

2. After 100 plus years of being inundated with the atheism belief system in our schools, the world is more upset about the death of gorilla than it is about the death of a person. From the thousands of babies who die each day at the hands of cruel and heartless abortion doctors (this was expressed so clearly by Matt Walsh in his post about this incident) to the Christians dying every day at the hand of Isis. Where is the uproar? Where is the cry for justice for human life? It has disappeared into the chaotic morass of what is this culture. A morass where the value of human life has been reduced to that of less than animals. Thank you, Mr. Darwin.

3. Third, I noticed that those who are constantly shouting “Do Not Judge! Do Not Judge!” often seem to be the first to judge in situations like this. Don’t you find this rather ironic? We live in a world that is absolutely obsessed about not judging others or telling anyone they are wrong about anything (since there are no absolute values) and yet, when a gorilla dies because a boy enters his cage, the truth shows it’s ugly head. We all judge. It is how we are created. And, further yet, it is what we are supposed to do. The question is not whether or not we judge between right and wrong. Instead the question is what standard are we using to judge? If we are Christians, it is the Bible. If we aren’t, then it could be just about anything.

4. And, finally, it is so interesting to see a world that attacks a mother for having a son who behaves in just the way a boy would behave whose parents have followed the popular child-rearing techniques. Did you follow that? Let me explain:

Modern-day parents are told that spanking harms a child. They are told that they shouldn’t say “No” or they will be in danger of breaking his spirit. Children are to be allowed to do whatever they want, wear whatever they want, eat whatever they want. This philosophy of raising children doesn’t only lead to self-centered, bratty adults, it leads to naughty children who do things they shouldn’t do. I don’t know anything about this mother. I don’t know how she raised her boy. But, I can say this–I think it is absolutely amazing that more stuff like this doesn’t happen! With so many disrespectful children who do not obey, I would expect this to happen every day in some zoo across America.

Let’s just say that this mother is parenting in this modern way, just as many parents are (even many Christian parents have been sucked into this damning philosophy of raising children). Let’s suppose that she has followed what she has heard on TV morning shows and magazines and the internet. Isn’t it so incongruous that the world that encourages her to let her child run free would condemn her when he does just that?

And so the incident with the gorilla really gave us a true picture of this nation, didn’t it? And something is really wrong with this picture. I don’t have any advice or deep spiritual insight to give. Only to encourage you to keep your eyes on the Lord. He alone is our rock and our fortress. He alone provides the way of salvation. The sea around us may heave, the winds around us may threaten to knock us over, but we have an anchor that will not fail.

The Education Dilemma

8 Comments / June 2, 2016 June 2, 2016

Mandates regarding public education are coming from the federal level that cause any Christian parent –or any moral parent, for that matter– to shudder. Should Christians remove their children from the public schools? How does a family know when it is the right time to leave (or not leave) the public school system? And what is the best choice for education if the choice is made to leave the government-run schools?

Education has been a source of disagreement and contention among Christians for a long time now. Homeschooling, Christian Schools, and Public Schools all have their passionate supporters. But sometimes that passion turns into hurtful, arrogant remarks that cause dissension and strife. There is a lot of emotion and strong feeling around this very personal decision and many walls have been built between relationships because of it.

I have purposefully not written very often about education on this blog. I have my opinions, but, alas, I cannot find a specific command about this subject of educating our children anywhere in the Bible. And, so, that means that each Christian family is called to make a wise, thoughtful, and very personal choice about how their children are going to be educated. Thankfully, we still have that choice–at least for now.

But whatever we decide is extremely important. Adolf Hitler put it this way “He alone, who owns the youth, gains the future.” I am not a big fan of Hitler, but he does have that right. And, so, it is crucial that we keep the hearts of our children, no matter which choice we make.

Any education we choose for our child will have its advantages and disadvantages and many different things will weigh into our decision. A few public schools still have quite a bit of Christian influence, while a good many are a lost cause. Some families have a decent, affordable Christian school nearby and some do not. Some mothers love the challenge of homeschooling and others do not feel gifted in this area. These are all things that will affect our decision about education.

It would seem to me that the bathroom mandate from President Obama probably has many Christians thinking just a little harder about how they are going to make sure their kids get a good education without being destroyed morally and spiritually in the process.

Making a change, however, can prove to be very confusing and challenging. Friends and family will list the pros and cons of their education system of choice. Very strong and loud opinions are spouted by our friends and acquaintances as to what they think we should do. But the decision does not need to be made by our parents, sibling, or friends. It is a decision that has to be made by each individual family. So how do we decide as a family what is the best choice for the education of our children? This very question came up in our Sunday School class last week and I have been thinking about it ever since. I thought of five factors we should all probably consider when making such an important choice–

1. What is the best choice for my child? If we aren’t careful, the choice we make will be based on a mother’s desire to work outside the home. Notice I used the word “desire”. While there are certainly some moms that are forced to work due to a variety of reasons and there are also some who work so that they can afford to send their children to Christian School, there are also so many others who work simply because they long for the satisfaction and fulfillment of a career outside of home life. One of the hardest things to do as a mother is to put the needs and interests of our children before our own. Our natural selfishness can cause our own personal purpose and fulfillment to trump what we know in our hearts is best for our children. This is promoted and bolstered by a world that sees “self-fulfillment” as the ultimate goal. In order to make a wise decision about education, we moms have to cast aside our own desires and dreams and answer this question: What is best for my child?

2. Remember that soldiers are thoroughly prepared before engaging in combat. I so often hear the argument that we need Christians kids to be salt and light in the dark world of the public school system. While I believe there may be a few, valid reasons to choose to use the public school system, I do not believe this should ever be one of them. Just as a young recruit would never be thrown into the battlefield without intense training, so, too, should we never throw our children onto the battlefield of the world’s stage without first training them in the things of God. Our children are like sponges, soaking up everything they hear. While you may be telling them that the world was created by God, the government school system will be telling them otherwise. And while you will be telling them that there is absolute truth and right and wrong, they will be hearing the complete opposite throughout all of their years in the system. This will be confusing to them. They are not yet prepared to handle such conflicting messages. While you can work through this at home, it will take great diligence and lots of work to undo the damage done during their school days, as any parent with a child in public school already recognizes.

3. Consider your child’s personality. Each child is so different and, while some are born leaders and will never sway from the convictions they have learned at home, others are easily swayed by even the lightest of peer pressure. What is your child like? If they are a follower, public school (and even Christian school) could potentially be a very dangerous place for them.

4. Consider your family’s and each individual child’s communication style. Does your family communicate effectively about the stuff of life that really matters? Are conversations about God and the Bible and godly, life choices a natural part of dinner conversations? Does your child participate in these conversations? Does your child ask big questions and tell you about his day when you tuck him into bed at night? Do you know if she is struggling internally with a problem or question? If the answer to these questions is yes, then this will give you a wonderful window into what’s going on in their soul and mind, making any education choice feel a little safer. If the answer to this question is no, then it is important to consider the ramifications of this in regards to education.

5. Whatever choice we make does not eliminate our need to educate our children spiritually. How many kids do you know that have been placed in Christian School because Mom and Dad thought it would fix them? What they don’t recognize is that what is happening to their child is not about external circumstances but about what is going on internally and spiritually. But figuring all that out can be hard, tedious work that is sometimes messy, awkward, and incredibly difficult. It is so much easier to place a child in Christian School and hope that the teachers there will fix a rebellious child. But there is not any education choice that we can make that will fix what is broken or turn our child into some spiritual giant. The main responsibility for this lies in the home. It is our responsibility, as parents, to see that our kids leave our homes with a deep love and respect for God and His Word. It is our job to teach them that they are ultimately accountable to God and that they are sinners but are so deeply loved by God that He made a way for them to be reconciled to Him through His Son, Jesus. It is our job to teach them that the Word of God is their authority and to obey and submit to it joyfully. It is our job to teach them that obedience and submission to the Word will yield a joyful, peaceful, and fulfilling–albeit not trial-free– life. It is our job to teach them that the world is a dangerous, evil place and we are safest and happiest if we avoid its pleasures, its entertainment, and its lusts. It is our job to teach them to trust in God’s Sovereignty during difficult times, to forgive others just as God has forgiven us, and to love and serve others. This is our job as parents and belongs to no one else–not the school, not the teachers, not the pastor, not the youth group.

I hope these five factors will help any of you who may be struggling with this decision. Personally, I have experience with all three kinds of education–I went to public school from kindergarten through high school, I homeschooled our children for 16 years, and then our younger three children attended Christian School for several years. It is hard to believe that our youngest will be a senior next year. As I look over the past and consider the choices we made regarding our children’s education, there is one thing that really stands out in my memory and that is that God always showed us which fork in the road to take when we would come to a crossroads. I can think of at least three specific times where we agonized over what to do regarding this subject and the wonderful way that God so faithfully answered our prayers, showing us His will in this area of our family’s life. God, in His ever faithful way, provided very clear answers to our prayers. If this is something you are struggling with, take it to the Lord in prayer. If you are praying with a heart to submit and obey Him–no matter what answer He gives (even if you don’t like it!)– then you can be sure that He will answer that prayer.

And, finally, let me conclude with this–

We need to offer much grace and kindness in this area of education. We need to allow our Christian friends and family to make their own choices, based on their own convictions and circumstances. If we feel strongly that someone we love is making a wrong choice, the best thing to do is to pray for them. Strongly stating our opinion only leads to broken and strained relationships.

As our family approaches our final year in answering this education question, I find myself filled with compassion for those of you with young kids. It is an evil, pagan world we live in and this is spilling out into all areas of life, including the government schools. It will, most likely, only continue to get worse. You will have big questions to face as you raise your precious little ones. Get on your knees and ask God to show you what to do. He is faithful!

Psalm 121 is a wonderful reminder of this–

I will lift up my eyes to the hills—
From whence comes my help?
²My help comes from the Lord,
Who made heaven and earth.

³He will not allow your foot to be moved;
He who keeps you will not slumber.
⁴Behold, He who keeps Israel
Shall neither slumber nor sleep.

⁵The Lord is your keeper;
The Lord is your shade at your right hand.
⁶The sun shall not strike you by day,
Nor the moon by night.

⁷The Lord shall preserve you from all evil;
He shall preserve your soul.
⁸The Lord shall preserve your going out and your coming in
From this time forth, and even forevermore.

There is a Reason

2 Comments / May 12, 2016 May 12, 2016

We have had a lot of rain here lately, but last week we had one bright, sunny afternoon. I decided it was the perfect afternoon to go for a walk. I ushered Macy, our Chocolate Lab, into the car, and off we went. Why the car? Because I now drive to where I can walk, because of two attack dogs that reside between me and my walking area. Just thinking about walking past the house where they reside fills with me fear. (You can read about this incident in my post Obstacles.)

I didn’t actually realize just how much fear until last week when I took that walk. I was enjoying the beautiful day when suddenly, from out of nowhere, I heard a dog bark menacingly as it rushed towards me. My heart started pounding, my hand gripped the leash tighter, and I could feel my whole body tense, as if preparing for an attack. I glanced towards where I heard the sound and saw that not only was it a rather smallish dog, but it was also enclosed in a fence, which meant that this little barking fiend was no threat to me or to my dog.

Now, I have never, ever been afraid of dogs before. Not like that. Sure, I never liked the mean, snarling ones (who does?) but I love dogs. It is frustrating to me that now I am filled with fear if I hear one on my walk.

My personal experience has led me to respond and react differently than I used to.

Personal experience has a way of doing that to us. I remember when this thought first hit me and changed how I viewed people.

It was Christmas Day many years ago and it was snowing. Unlike most of you, we never wanted white Christmases around here because that would mean Christmas without Daddy. We plow snow and people still want it to be removed, even if it is a holiday. It also meant a day of stress and frustration for me, as I have to take the phone calls.

I can still vividly remember one phone call from that day long ago. It was an elderly lady, recently widowed, who had no children. She was normally a very nice lady, but on this particular day she started screaming at me, asking why we hadn’t been to her house yet. I assured her that everyone was out working hard and that they just hadn’t gotten there yet, but that didn’t seem to make a difference. She obviously needed to yell at someone and that someone was going to be me. I was so hurt and angered by that unreasonable call. But after I hung up and gave it some thought, God impressed upon my heart just how lonely and miserable she must be–especially on Christmas. How would I be if I was spending my first Christmas alone without my best friend and didn’t even have any children or grandchildren to ease the pain? Would I be tempted to lash out at someone, too?

I knew the answer was probably yes.

While this is not one of my favorite Christmas memories, it changed forever how I view people. I realized that people always do what they do for a reason.

This doesn’t change how we view sin, but it should change how we feel about the sinner–

That prostitute on the street used to be a little girl that was neglected and abused by her mother.

The gay man who lives next door was once a bright and hopeful little boy who was sexually abused by a neighbor.

The grumpy old man has had a lifetime of broken dreams and disappointments.

The lady who was absolutely unreasonable on the phone a minute ago just found out yesterday that her daughter has cancer.

Thinking through why people might do what they do fills me with compassion. What if I had grown up neglected and abused? Wouldn’t it be just as possible that it could be me walking the street? What if my life was filled with broken dreams and disappointments and I didn’t have hope in Jesus Christ, couldn’t I just as easily be labeled the grumpy one?

But for the grace of God, go I.

Right?

God’s grace changes everything. It fixes the broken. It heals the heart. It fills us with peace and joy despite the most tragic of circumstances. But most of the world does not know this.

Understanding that people are much deeper than what we see externally should not only fill us with compassion but also drive us to share the Gospel. We should never let unfounded, sinful arrogance keep us from loving others. We should never let an unsavory profession or a little grumpiness deter us from telling someone about Jesus. These people, underneath all of that gruff and bravado, are broken and in need of a Savior.

Of course, some don’t want to hear it. And from those, we walk away (Matthew 7:6). If they are hard-hearted and rebellious, we shouldn’t waste our time. But, let’s be honest, most of us never even get that far. We don’t find out if they are lost and searching because we are too scared or too arrogant to talk to them.

Oh, may our hearts be filled with compassion towards the broken and unloving. There is a reason they are doing what they are doing. And it is quite likely, that given a similar life experience and without the light of Christ in your life, that you may be just like them. Thank the Lord for his loving-kindness in your life and reach out with the Good News that there is salvation available to all through Jesus Christ!

A Million Little Choices

4 Comments / May 9, 2016 May 9, 2016

Each year on Mother’s Day, we have a Child Dedication Service at our church. This is very different than infant baptism, as it is not about the salvation of the child but, instead, to indicate the sober decision by the parents to raise this child up in a godly, Christian home. Yesterday, I had the great privilege of watching my daughter and son-in-law dedicate their son to the Lord, along with ten or so other families.

As I watched each family walk up, holding a precious baby in their arms or taking a small child by the hand, I thought back to the dedication services of our own children. We were in a smaller church at the time, so we would usually be doing the whole thing solo. In fact, my husband and I carefully picked an appropriate song for each child and even sang a duet together at each dedication (I am not really a gifted singer, so that will tell you a little something about how small the church was!)

But I realized something yesterday which I was rather oblivious to when we dedicated our own children–

Walking up to the front of the church and having the pastor pray over you and your child is the easy part. True dedication is made up of a million little choices.

Choices like–

Will I choose to scream over spilled milk or come along side and wipe up the milk and the tears lovingly?

Will I choose to hold my precious children and read Bible stories and other good books to them or will I set them in front of the TV after a long, hard day?

Will I choose to patiently work out the sibling quarrels or lay on the sofa yelling at the children?

Will I choose to learn and grow by reading and studying the Bible and other godly books or will I fill my free time with frivolous, temporal things?

Will I surrender my desire for perfection and choose to teach my children how to do chores around the home or will I just do it myself, because I can’t stand the way they do things?

Will I yield myself to the Lord and His will, or will I exhibit self-righteousness and discontentment and show my kids how not to walk with God?

Will I act differently at church than I do at home, or will my life be an example of holiness and godliness both at church and everywhere else?

Will I apologize when I’ve messed up, or will I arrogantly refuse to?

Will I spend time on my marriage and, by doing so, give the children the security of a strong and faithful home, or will I neglect it and keep them all wondering if there will be an eventual divorce?

Will I criticize and nitpick and punish in anger, or will I lovingly and gently discipline, correct, and guide?

Will I follow the world’s advice on child-rearing or will I follow God’s Word?

These, and many others, show our true heart in dedicating our children. Most of the church will never really know if this is the stuff that is happening at home. Most families show the best versions of their little group when they are at church. Only those we live with truly know the real us.

What would your kids say about you? Your spouse? Your grandkids?

Would words like godly, holy, kind, loving, supportive, and joyful be used? Or would words like angry, irritable, depressed, unhappy, selfish, and critical be used? How does your family view YOU?

It is a sobering question, is it not? And this question has everything to do with this business of dedicating our children to the Lord.

I can vividly remember an incident from when we were raising our first teenager. She wanted to do something that I didn’t want her to do. It was not a biblical issue and there was nothing wrong about what she was asking. I can remember my husband very patiently asking me “Why?”

Why didn’t I want her to do that?

And you know what? I didn’t have an answer! It was just my own selfish agenda, that’s what it was. It was one of those moments that hits you like a rock: I’d better give up my own selfish agenda or risk losing the heart of my child.

It was an easy decision and my daughter was able to do what she desired to do– which I can’t even remember what it was anymore (which goes to show you just how unimportant it really was). It was one of my million little choices. And I don’t regret one bit making the right one. I just wish I would have done that even more often.

We made so many mistakes, but, along the way, God kept teaching us both what it means to dedicate our children truly to the Lord. And we kept learning. In fact, in this new stage of parenting adults, we continue to keep learning. Life is one never-ending journey of learning. Just when you think you’ve nailed a stage down, you move on to the next one.

But, as we grow and change, may it be towards the Lord and may it be more like Jesus, so that God’s faithfulness spills over and down and through all the cracks of our weaknesses. May we never grow hard and calloused and bitter. And through a million little choices, may we show ourselves dedicated to not only raising godly children, but to being a godly example and a bright and shining light of hope in the dark world around us.

On Being a Mom to a Mom

8 Comments / April 28, 2016 April 28, 2016

Last weekend, our world changed forever. Our first grandchild came into the world and our lives will never be the same. Many people had told us just how wonderful this moment would be, but, just as becoming a parent truly defies description, so, too, does becoming a grandparent.

As I held this miniature human being in my arms, I couldn’t stop staring in absolute awe at the miracle of this new life (evolution is categorically impossible on just this one point alone). Staring at the tiny, perfect features of my first grandson, I felt blessed far more than I deserve.

When people would talk to us about becoming grandparents, most of the talk centered on the grandchildren (of course!) but one thing I didn’t really think about until this week is how this new life changes the relationship with my daughter.

We have been gently discovering this since her wedding a couple of years ago and have been learning to pass the baton on to the next generation. But with the birth of their child, it feels more official somehow. And I recognized that my husband and I are stepping off of center stage and are now moving into a support role.

It is a strange feeling and will take some adjusting for me and yet the time is so right. It is my turn to be for her what my mom has been (and continues to be) for me. She provided unwavering and consistent support as I took on one of the hardest jobs in existence: Motherhood. She provided godly counseling and sometimes just let me cry as she listened to my heartaches. And she rejoiced with me, almost as excited as we were when a baby started to walk or a child lost a first tooth. Oh, how I desire to do the same for my daughters and daughter-in-law as they take their turn at being a mother.

The picture above was taken over 70 years ago. The only person alive today is my aunt, who is the young girl in the photo. My grandmother is the beautiful lady standing on the left. At the time, she probably had two children. She went on to have two more, my mother being her fourth. When this photo was taken, she was experiencing the sleepless nights, the strong wills, the sibling rivalry, and the endless cleaning and cooking that comes with raising a family. It was her turn to face the challenges of motherhood. But time passed, the years went by, and it became my mom’s turn. And then it was my turn. And now, all these years later, it is my daughter’s turn.

As our roles are changing now, I have been giving a great deal of thought to how important it is for us grandmothers to find a balance between interfering bossiness and cold indifference. Somewhere between those two is the loving balance of being there when they need us and yet giving them lots of space to grow together as a family without our “two cents.”

I am starting to understand why some families have so much trouble. Some mothers are just not ready to step off of center stage and take their support role. This can cause a lot of stress in families where there is great effort in trying to keep “Mom happy.”

As I have been thinking on how to take on this new role, the little phrase I used to say to my kids comes to mind: Be a blessing, not a burden.

I want to not only love my grandchildren deeply and fully, but I want to do the same for my kids and their spouses. I desire to encourage with my words, rather than be the constant critic. I want to build up and offer support as they take on this new role of parenting, rather than fill them with self-doubt and frustration.

I recognize that our actions and reactions as grandparents can make all the difference in the world in our family dynamics. I want to make sure grudges and bitterness find no place in my heart. And that I love my in-laws with the same love with which I love my own kids, instead of making them feel like outsiders.

I won’t do any of this perfectly, of course. But this who I want to be. Who I want to become.

And so time marches on and I am now in the grandmother’s spot in that photo above. I still have to shake my head a bit as I ponder it all. It feels just a bit surreal. But I am quite confident that I am going to like being the mom of a mom. Sure, it will take a little getting used to, but I am thrilled to watch my daughter and her husband with their little guy, knowing that he is in the hands of two people who love the Lord and love each other. I am deeply grateful in knowing that these new parents desire nothing more than that this child they have been entrusted with grows up to love and serve Jesus.

Really, how blessed can you get?

Perseverance Pays Off

Leave a Comment / April 11, 2016 April 11, 2016

A few years ago, I became very interested in making organic versions of products that we often use. Some of them were big failures–like the liquid soap!–but others were wonderful, working as well as (or even better than) the store-bought versions. One of these recipes I ended up calling “Magic Cream” because it was so versatile and wonderfully healing on all types of skin issues. From cuts and scrapes to blemishes to burns to super-dry skin, this stuff works like magic.

A little while ago a friend of mine expressed interest in the recipe for my Magic Cream as she thought it might help her with a skin issue she was having. I gave her the recipe along with a small tube of it that I had on hand. When I saw her a little while later, I asked her how she liked it. She hesitated a bit and then confessed that, while it was working, it was taking a lot longer than she had hoped. She had expected it to work instantly but that had not happened.

When she said that, it hit me how often all of us do this in life. We so badly want a positive change to occur instantly and when it doesn’t happen we grow discouraged and give up. This happens in any number of areas of life including weight loss, addictions we want to overcome, dysfunctional relationships, and growing in biblical knowledge. None of these things happen instantly, but we have been trained to want instant.

And, yes, instant is wonderful. No question about that. My last two children had to be delivered via C-section and both times as I lay there on the table being prepped, I experienced overwhelming nausea. Now that is one of the worst feelings in the world because you can’t even sit up. When I mentioned it, something was added to my IV and I instantly felt better. I have never had relief happen that quickly. I can still vividly remember how wonderful that was.

And some people–maybe even some of you–have had instant relief from addictions and other sins when you came to Christ. It does happen occasionally.

But most of us have to persevere and sweat a little bit to conquer sin, working with the Holy Spirit who empowers and enables us. Of course, there are a few sacrifices we need to make in order to actually change and grow in a vibrant and permanent way–

1. We need to give up our sin. So simple and yet so incredibly difficult. But unless we are intentionally “putting off” the old man, we will continue to struggle. Far too many of us live in a place of hopelessness and defeat because we aren’t willing to give up all of that old man.

Ephesians 4:22-24 that you put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness.

2. We need to immerse ourselves in the scripture. Psalm 119 is just one passage of many that shows us the value of the Word in our victory over sin and our growth as a Christian.

Psalm 119: 9 How can a young man cleanse his way? By taking heed according to Your word.

3. We need to surround ourselves with godly people who will challenge us. Do our friends exhort us to live godly lives or are they encouraging us to live worldly lives?

Hebrews 3:13 but exhort one another daily, while it is called “Today,” lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin.

4. We can’t give up. Sometimes it is tempting to throw our hands up in the air and give up. And we can come up with a thousand reasons why it’s okay to live in sin in “just this one area” of our lives. But we need to keep trying. We need to keep running the race with 100% of our efforts. Sin slows us down. These verses from I Corinthians remind us that we are not running for some earthly prize (although there may be some earthly rewards that accompany our victories over sin) but we are running for an imperishable crown. Verse 27 of this passage also shows us that our testimony and Christian witness is reliant upon us not only running this race, but running it well.

I Corinthians 9:24-27 Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may obtain it. ²⁵And everyone who competes for the prize is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a perishable crown, but we for an imperishable crown. ²⁶Therefore I run thus: not with uncertainty. Thus I fight: not as one who beats the air. ²⁷But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified.

Sin can be difficult to conquer. Some of us are trying to overcome sins that have been in our families for generations. But it is not impossible. It will take diligence and perseverance, along with filling our minds with scripture and much prayer, but it is not impossible.

And one day in the future–if we don’t give up– we will look back at the road we have traveled and see just how far we’ve come. And that will be a great day!

How Shall We Then Vote?

8 Comments / April 7, 2016 April 7, 2016

In 1976, Francis Scheaffer wrote How Shall We Then Live? It was a book that took a hard look at the decline of the western culture and how, as Christians, we should then live in the society. Back then already, he was keenly aware of the breakdown of moral absolutes and what that would mean in the coming years for western culture. It has been forty years since this book was written. How fitting that the election this year symbolizes all that Scheaffer warned would come to pass.

I think there have been few elections in history that have presented such a challenge to voters than the current one. Some of us have made our choice for the primary and are pretty sure about November, weighing all the possible options. Some of us are still waiting and waffling, unsure of what is best. Others of us have just outright declared that we aren’t going to vote at all.

One thing I have noticed in this election, perhaps more than any other, is how many Americans are driven to vote for a candidate because of what that candidate will do for them. Character and integrity seem to matter very little in our desire to get more for ourselves– more economic security, more tax breaks, more free stuff. This seems to be what drives most voters as they make their choice.

In complete opposition to this, however, is what God’s Word says. Last Sunday our pastor gave us some great guidelines on how to choose the candidate who deserves our vote. In Deuteronomy 17, starting in verse 14, God gives Israel guidelines to use as they choose a king. From this passage, our pastor was able to pull out eight biblical (and practical) principles that should influence our voting. With his permission, I’d like to share them with you–

1. Seek God’s choice above your own. (v. 15) We need to stop worrying about what we think is best for us alone, and think about what is best for the nation as a whole, according to God’s law and purposes.

2. Seek a candidate who is a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ. (v. 15) Many politicians claim to know Jesus in order to get the evangelical vote. In order to know if its genuine we need to examine their lives.

3. Avoid self-promoting, power-hungry leaders. (v. 16) While these kind of men make lots of empty promises, their ultimate goal is the promotion of self and an increase in power over the people.

4. Seek one who has proven faithful in marriage. (v. 17) Aside from being one of God’s laws, faithfulness in marriage is also a good indication that the candidate is loyal and devoted to someone outside of himself.

5. Avoid one who is greedy for personal wealth. (v. 17) Think about someone you know who only cares about money. They live for it, they breathe for it, they don’t care who they hurt or trample on to get it. Is this the kind of person we want to run a country?

6. Seek one who learns and loves God’s Word. (v. 18) Again, hard to know if the declarations of this are true. Their lives are our only test. If they live according to it, it is much more likely that they know it.

7. Seek a leader with a servant’s heart. (v. 20) How key is this! Think about all of the bosses you have had in the past for a moment. Which one was the best? I would guess it was the boss who wasn’t afraid to do the hard work alongside of you. It was the guy or gal that wasn’t condescending. It was the person who cared about you and considered you and your co-workers when making company decisions. This kind of person makes a great leader.

8. Seek one who respects and obeys the Lord. (v. 20) Even if they are not a genuine Christian, a candidate who honors God’s laws is the one for whom we should be casting our vote.

Obviously, few candidates are going to be a perfect match to these eight guidelines but isn’t this a helpful list? It’s a tool we can use to do the best we can in picking a candidate worthy of our vote. A big thank you to my pastor for his wisdom in pointing these out.

God bless you, my fellow Americans, as you do your part in these upcoming primaries and then again in November. For those of you outside America, I hope that these guidelines will prove helpful to you, as well, if and when you have the opportunity to vote in your own country.

No matter what happens in November, how thankful I am to know Who is really in control.

“Blessed be the name of God forever and ever,
For wisdom and might are His.
And He changes the times and the seasons;
He removes kings and raises up kings;
He gives wisdom to the wise
And knowledge to those who have understanding.”

Daniel 2:20b-21

Breakfast with Strangers

4 Comments / April 4, 2016 April 4, 2016

For over 25 years now our family has been going to the same little beach town on the Atlantic coast for vacation. It’s one of my very favorite places on God’s beautiful earth. When we first started going we’d stay in a hotel and then in 1998 we bought a camper and we’ve been camping there ever since. Our trips there have become a family tradition that we all treasure but, still, each time I visit, my eyes are drawn to the quaint Bed and Breakfasts that line the streets. A long time ago, staying in one of these was added to the bucket list that I keep in my head.

My husband has been busy with shows this past month–three weekends out of the last four, so my youngest daughter and I decided it was the perfect time for a quick girls’ getaway and made arrangements to spend a night in one of the Bed and Breakfasts. Since this is not really my husband’s preferred type of accommodation, it seemed to be the ideal time to check this item off my bucket list.

We arrived on Friday night to the beautiful Victorian house that sat just a block from the beach. We were greeted by a friendly woman who told us everything we needed to know. I have to admit that as I stared at the precious glass and porcelain valuables that sat on every possible space around me, I grew just a bit nervous. I felt a little like a bull in a china closet and, after almost knocking something over with my bulky purse, I grabbed the bag close to my side and took extra special care as we carried our things to Room 3 at the top of the steps. As we entered the room, we felt much more at home. While decorated beautifully in Victorian style, it was very comfortable and there didn’t seem to be anything precious on the dressers and shelves to knock over!

The next morning, we headed downstairs to have breakfast with the other guests of the house. This was certainly a new experience for both of us. We sat down across from a couple who seemed to be in their late 50s or early 60s. They smiled and introduced themselves. We did likewise. A few moments later, a young couple expecting their first child joined us. The conversation was made up of a variety of topics but about fifteen minutes in it settled in on religion (of all things!) Believe it or not, I had absolutely nothing to do with this turn of the conversation. I found out rather quickly that the older couple were Methodists (with the husband a Roman Catholic before converting to Methodism) and the younger couple were passionate Jehovah’s Witnesses (with the wife being a Roman Catholic before conversion).

As I sensed the direction of the conversation, my heart started to beat a bit harder with trepidation. I told the Lord I would take any opportunity that He opened up for me and then waited expectantly. But it never really came. Other than one opportunity to state the Gospel as written in the Bible in three sentences or less, I spent much of the conversation either listening or adding a few sentences that any moral person could agree with.

After breakfast was over and we had said our good-byes, I wondered if I should have spoke more biblical truth. I said as much to my daughter. She replied with exactly what I was thinking–they wouldn’t have listened, anyway. They all thought they were right.

But, while I may not have been able to plant many seeds for the Kingdom during that breakfast, I did learn (or was reminded of) six very important things–

The only difference between true believers and everyone else is God’s Word. True believers trust the Bible alone for doctrine, truth, and guidance. The Jehovah’s Witnesses would talk about the Bible but they’d also talk about the Watchtower Magazine that provides them with their doctrine. The Methodists relied on–from what I could tell–their own life experiences to form their opinions. The scriptures alone were not the source for their opinions about life and morals.

Sincerity and earnestness is not synonymous with truth. It was fascinating to hear the Jehovah Witnesses’ talk about what their religion requires. The young husband and wife were quite earnest and dedicated to the church, telling us how often they go out on visitation and how the church is organized. And, yet, I saw them nod in agreement with me when I shared the gospel–even though I know they don’t believe in the same Jesus we do. We are both sincere and passionate about our beliefs and yet one of us is wrong. If we believers didn’t have the Bible to anchor us, I don’t know how any of us could know what is right and what is wrong.

Religious people believe that a lack of religion is the reason this country is faltering. It was very interesting to hear the Methodists blame the country’s woes on a lack of religion. Several times they alluded to the fact that this country would be a much better place if we could just get religion back in homes and schools. While I don’t disagree that this may help, I think it would be a very temporary fix without true revival: Transformed lives through true faith in Jesus Christ.

Most people care very little about anyone but themselves. You may question my wisdom at writing a post about these couples. But, honestly, they would never possibly be able to find it because they found out absolutely nothing about me or my daughter. While I asked what they do for a living, if they have a family, and every other impersonal and polite question I could think of to ask, few questions were directed to us. When we left the breakfast table, we knew a whole lot about them and they knew very little about us. This seems to be pretty typical these days. What struck my daughter and I as extremely ironic was the fact that, during breakfast, the older gentleman, a teacher, had bemoaned how self-absorbed his students have become over the past decade.

One thing we could all agree on was that the country is in shambles and this is in large part due to the departure from absolute truth. When you think about it, those who come from a background that taught the ten commandments and God’s moral law lead happier, more successful lives. They believe that they must work for what they get and they understand that life isn’t always fair. Those taught basic moral truths (even without Jesus or the Bible) believe lying, stealing, and being unkind is wrong. However, belief in absolute truth and God’s law is quickly eroding away, and we now have a whole generation that feels entitled to get something they didn’t work for; who believes that lying, stealing, and being unkind are only wrong if it hurts someone. They believe that truth is more about what makes them happy than it is about some Higher Being– and that truth can be whatever they want it to be. Seriously. This is the caliber of students that are spilling out of the high school and college campuses and into our work force. There are great ramifications to this and we are starting to reap the fruit of this now.

And, finally, I learned during that breakfast how important reading is. While I don’t deny that my college education was helpful, I have learned a whole lot more by reading on my own. I was surprised as we talked about things how much of what I have read about the Bible and history and life has seeped into my brain and was ready to be shared in a situation like this. It reminded me of the importance to read not only the Bible but solid, biblical works by authors like Jonathan Edwards, Charles Spurgeon, and A.W. Pink. It also reminded me of how important the study of history is to the place we find ourselves in today. Reading is our window to changed thinking. Reading books by godly men with a biblical world-view leads to not only changed thinking but to biblical thinking.

And, so, our breakfast with strangers was not only entertaining but was also enlightening. And while we thoroughly enjoyed our Bed and Breakfast stay, my daughter and I decided that camping is still our preferred way of travel!

Have a great Monday!

The Line

4 Comments / March 17, 2016 March 17, 2016

The other morning I heard a song that started me wondering about something–

If I stood completely alone in my stand for Christ with no fellow believers to be found anywhere, would I continue to stand? If I was rejected and abandoned by family, friends, and co-workers for my faith; If I was mocked and scorned and persecuted, would I cave?

Our pastor once told the story of The Line as part of his sermon. I am going to paraphrase it here–

There was a college professor who one day came up with an interesting little experiment to try on his classes. He showed different lines on a screen in front of his students. The lines were very obviously different lengths. When he pointed to the longest line, he asked how many of the class thought this was the longest line. (Now remember, it was very obviously the longest line). Only one student raised his hand. As he looked around him, he became hesitant and slowly pulled his hand back down to his side.

What the student didn’t know was that this had been a set-up. The professor wanted to know how many would raise their hand confidently at the objective truth in front of them, even if they were the only one.

75% of the lone students caved.

Seventy-five percent!

Now doesn’t that help us understand the state of the church a bit more clearly?

We aren’t teaching our kids to be courageous! We aren’t teaching them to stand up for the truth no matter what the cost!

And forget the kids for a second. What would you have done? I would say that I don’t care all that much about man’s praise, but when I think about that scenario, I think even me, at my stage in life, may have questioned myself. We are so caught up in the herd mentality that we have lost site of what matters. We so loathe being singled out, pointed at, and ridiculed that we do everything possible to avoid it–even if it means compromise.

And it’s getting harder and harder to stand. There used to be some tolerance for people who believe the Bible to be the inspired and infallible Word of God. Now there is very little–even from people who call themselves Christians. This change in our culture certainly gives us lots of opportunities to stand firmly for Christ– or to not stand.

The thing about compromise is that once you do it once, it becomes easier and easier. For solid Christians who actually know the Word of God the first step into the murky waters of compromise feels very uncomfortable. But it gets easier and easier and if we aren’t careful, we are surrounded and immersed in it and don’t even realize it.

Jesus tells us in John 15:18-25 that the world will hate us. That we should expect this. We find similar thoughts in 2 Timothy 3:12, I Peter 4:12-14, I John 3:13. In fact this theme is so woven throughout the scriptures, that we can come to the conclusion that if we aren’t persecuted and hated by at least some of those we come in contact with we may not be walking with God the way we should be.

This is very opposite of what you hear today, isn’t it? Instead we hear that peace and unity are the signs of a “good Christian”. Of course, if we are hated, it should be because of speaking truth. We never want it to be for the unkind way we speak truth or for promoting our own selfish agendas couched in “Christianese”. This is how Christians get such a terrible reputation.

I remember hearing John MacArthur say something that echoes my thoughts exactly on this. I can’t quote him word for word because I don’t have it. But it was something that stuck with me and it was something like this–

I am not concerned if people hate me for speaking the truth from God’s Word because they don’t like it. But I am very concerned if people hate me because of my sin–because I’ve been rude, or arrogant, or unloving.

I wish I had his exact quote, but I just don’t. But I remember hearing him and saying–YES! This is what we Christians need to remember! It’s okay to be hated for speaking the truth but it is never okay to be hated for being unloving or rude.

It’s a convicting challenge that requires constant testing of our own hearts. If Satan can’t get us to compromise then he instead tempts us to stand for the truth in an unloving, arrogant way. We can never let down our guards. As it says in I Peter 5:8–

Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.

Hmmm. I got a little off-track there for a moment. Let’s go back to the story of the line. Are you a little worried, like me, that you wouldn’t have the courage to raise your hand and stand for the truth all by yourself?

I remember as a teenager being so concerned about this. I would hear stories from the {former} USSR about people who would be shot or sent to Siberia for their faith and worrying that I would cave if I should ever face that same thing. But God gave me great comfort in two ways regarding this. First, in the promise that no matter what we face, His grace will be sufficient–

And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. (I Corinthians 12:9)

We will get the grace we need when we need it and not a moment before.

And, second, I take great comfort in the life of Peter. Isn’t it great encouragement that Peter–the man who denied his association with Christ three times (John 18) wasn’t rejected by Christ, but instead went on to do wonderful and amazing things for the Kingdom–even dying for Christ in the end? We should take great encouragement in this. For even one of Christ’s very disciples struggled with this and yet, in the end, stood strong and firm!

I hope these things encourage you, too, because I think our opportunities to stand alone are going to become more and more frequent. It is sobering and actually quite frightening. But it’s not impossible. And–as my pastor says–there is always a remnant–a remnant of those of us who believe the Bible wholly and fully. Praise God! We are never truly alone, even though it may feel like it for a moment.

Many of you are part of that remnant. Let’s encourage one another as we face the unknown. Let’s put the foolish arguments that don’t matter aside and unite in our commitment to God and His Word. Let’s stand boldly–no matter the cost.