Life – Page 13 – Growing 4 Life

How Shall We Then Vote?

8 Comments / April 7, 2016 April 7, 2016

In 1976, Francis Scheaffer wrote How Shall We Then Live? It was a book that took a hard look at the decline of the western culture and how, as Christians, we should then live in the society. Back then already, he was keenly aware of the breakdown of moral absolutes and what that would mean in the coming years for western culture. It has been forty years since this book was written. How fitting that the election this year symbolizes all that Scheaffer warned would come to pass.

I think there have been few elections in history that have presented such a challenge to voters than the current one. Some of us have made our choice for the primary and are pretty sure about November, weighing all the possible options. Some of us are still waiting and waffling, unsure of what is best. Others of us have just outright declared that we aren’t going to vote at all.

One thing I have noticed in this election, perhaps more than any other, is how many Americans are driven to vote for a candidate because of what that candidate will do for them. Character and integrity seem to matter very little in our desire to get more for ourselves– more economic security, more tax breaks, more free stuff. This seems to be what drives most voters as they make their choice.

In complete opposition to this, however, is what God’s Word says. Last Sunday our pastor gave us some great guidelines on how to choose the candidate who deserves our vote. In Deuteronomy 17, starting in verse 14, God gives Israel guidelines to use as they choose a king. From this passage, our pastor was able to pull out eight biblical (and practical) principles that should influence our voting. With his permission, I’d like to share them with you–

1. Seek God’s choice above your own. (v. 15) We need to stop worrying about what we think is best for us alone, and think about what is best for the nation as a whole, according to God’s law and purposes.

2. Seek a candidate who is a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ. (v. 15) Many politicians claim to know Jesus in order to get the evangelical vote. In order to know if its genuine we need to examine their lives.

3. Avoid self-promoting, power-hungry leaders. (v. 16) While these kind of men make lots of empty promises, their ultimate goal is the promotion of self and an increase in power over the people.

4. Seek one who has proven faithful in marriage. (v. 17) Aside from being one of God’s laws, faithfulness in marriage is also a good indication that the candidate is loyal and devoted to someone outside of himself.

5. Avoid one who is greedy for personal wealth. (v. 17) Think about someone you know who only cares about money. They live for it, they breathe for it, they don’t care who they hurt or trample on to get it. Is this the kind of person we want to run a country?

6. Seek one who learns and loves God’s Word. (v. 18) Again, hard to know if the declarations of this are true. Their lives are our only test. If they live according to it, it is much more likely that they know it.

7. Seek a leader with a servant’s heart. (v. 20) How key is this! Think about all of the bosses you have had in the past for a moment. Which one was the best? I would guess it was the boss who wasn’t afraid to do the hard work alongside of you. It was the guy or gal that wasn’t condescending. It was the person who cared about you and considered you and your co-workers when making company decisions. This kind of person makes a great leader.

8. Seek one who respects and obeys the Lord. (v. 20) Even if they are not a genuine Christian, a candidate who honors God’s laws is the one for whom we should be casting our vote.

Obviously, few candidates are going to be a perfect match to these eight guidelines but isn’t this a helpful list? It’s a tool we can use to do the best we can in picking a candidate worthy of our vote. A big thank you to my pastor for his wisdom in pointing these out.

God bless you, my fellow Americans, as you do your part in these upcoming primaries and then again in November. For those of you outside America, I hope that these guidelines will prove helpful to you, as well, if and when you have the opportunity to vote in your own country.

No matter what happens in November, how thankful I am to know Who is really in control.

“Blessed be the name of God forever and ever,
For wisdom and might are His.
And He changes the times and the seasons;
He removes kings and raises up kings;
He gives wisdom to the wise
And knowledge to those who have understanding.”

Daniel 2:20b-21

Breakfast with Strangers

4 Comments / April 4, 2016 April 4, 2016

For over 25 years now our family has been going to the same little beach town on the Atlantic coast for vacation. It’s one of my very favorite places on God’s beautiful earth. When we first started going we’d stay in a hotel and then in 1998 we bought a camper and we’ve been camping there ever since. Our trips there have become a family tradition that we all treasure but, still, each time I visit, my eyes are drawn to the quaint Bed and Breakfasts that line the streets. A long time ago, staying in one of these was added to the bucket list that I keep in my head.

My husband has been busy with shows this past month–three weekends out of the last four, so my youngest daughter and I decided it was the perfect time for a quick girls’ getaway and made arrangements to spend a night in one of the Bed and Breakfasts. Since this is not really my husband’s preferred type of accommodation, it seemed to be the ideal time to check this item off my bucket list.

We arrived on Friday night to the beautiful Victorian house that sat just a block from the beach. We were greeted by a friendly woman who told us everything we needed to know. I have to admit that as I stared at the precious glass and porcelain valuables that sat on every possible space around me, I grew just a bit nervous. I felt a little like a bull in a china closet and, after almost knocking something over with my bulky purse, I grabbed the bag close to my side and took extra special care as we carried our things to Room 3 at the top of the steps. As we entered the room, we felt much more at home. While decorated beautifully in Victorian style, it was very comfortable and there didn’t seem to be anything precious on the dressers and shelves to knock over!

The next morning, we headed downstairs to have breakfast with the other guests of the house. This was certainly a new experience for both of us. We sat down across from a couple who seemed to be in their late 50s or early 60s. They smiled and introduced themselves. We did likewise. A few moments later, a young couple expecting their first child joined us. The conversation was made up of a variety of topics but about fifteen minutes in it settled in on religion (of all things!) Believe it or not, I had absolutely nothing to do with this turn of the conversation. I found out rather quickly that the older couple were Methodists (with the husband a Roman Catholic before converting to Methodism) and the younger couple were passionate Jehovah’s Witnesses (with the wife being a Roman Catholic before conversion).

As I sensed the direction of the conversation, my heart started to beat a bit harder with trepidation. I told the Lord I would take any opportunity that He opened up for me and then waited expectantly. But it never really came. Other than one opportunity to state the Gospel as written in the Bible in three sentences or less, I spent much of the conversation either listening or adding a few sentences that any moral person could agree with.

After breakfast was over and we had said our good-byes, I wondered if I should have spoke more biblical truth. I said as much to my daughter. She replied with exactly what I was thinking–they wouldn’t have listened, anyway. They all thought they were right.

But, while I may not have been able to plant many seeds for the Kingdom during that breakfast, I did learn (or was reminded of) six very important things–

The only difference between true believers and everyone else is God’s Word. True believers trust the Bible alone for doctrine, truth, and guidance. The Jehovah’s Witnesses would talk about the Bible but they’d also talk about the Watchtower Magazine that provides them with their doctrine. The Methodists relied on–from what I could tell–their own life experiences to form their opinions. The scriptures alone were not the source for their opinions about life and morals.

Sincerity and earnestness is not synonymous with truth. It was fascinating to hear the Jehovah Witnesses’ talk about what their religion requires. The young husband and wife were quite earnest and dedicated to the church, telling us how often they go out on visitation and how the church is organized. And, yet, I saw them nod in agreement with me when I shared the gospel–even though I know they don’t believe in the same Jesus we do. We are both sincere and passionate about our beliefs and yet one of us is wrong. If we believers didn’t have the Bible to anchor us, I don’t know how any of us could know what is right and what is wrong.

Religious people believe that a lack of religion is the reason this country is faltering. It was very interesting to hear the Methodists blame the country’s woes on a lack of religion. Several times they alluded to the fact that this country would be a much better place if we could just get religion back in homes and schools. While I don’t disagree that this may help, I think it would be a very temporary fix without true revival: Transformed lives through true faith in Jesus Christ.

Most people care very little about anyone but themselves. You may question my wisdom at writing a post about these couples. But, honestly, they would never possibly be able to find it because they found out absolutely nothing about me or my daughter. While I asked what they do for a living, if they have a family, and every other impersonal and polite question I could think of to ask, few questions were directed to us. When we left the breakfast table, we knew a whole lot about them and they knew very little about us. This seems to be pretty typical these days. What struck my daughter and I as extremely ironic was the fact that, during breakfast, the older gentleman, a teacher, had bemoaned how self-absorbed his students have become over the past decade.

One thing we could all agree on was that the country is in shambles and this is in large part due to the departure from absolute truth. When you think about it, those who come from a background that taught the ten commandments and God’s moral law lead happier, more successful lives. They believe that they must work for what they get and they understand that life isn’t always fair. Those taught basic moral truths (even without Jesus or the Bible) believe lying, stealing, and being unkind is wrong. However, belief in absolute truth and God’s law is quickly eroding away, and we now have a whole generation that feels entitled to get something they didn’t work for; who believes that lying, stealing, and being unkind are only wrong if it hurts someone. They believe that truth is more about what makes them happy than it is about some Higher Being– and that truth can be whatever they want it to be. Seriously. This is the caliber of students that are spilling out of the high school and college campuses and into our work force. There are great ramifications to this and we are starting to reap the fruit of this now.

And, finally, I learned during that breakfast how important reading is. While I don’t deny that my college education was helpful, I have learned a whole lot more by reading on my own. I was surprised as we talked about things how much of what I have read about the Bible and history and life has seeped into my brain and was ready to be shared in a situation like this. It reminded me of the importance to read not only the Bible but solid, biblical works by authors like Jonathan Edwards, Charles Spurgeon, and A.W. Pink. It also reminded me of how important the study of history is to the place we find ourselves in today. Reading is our window to changed thinking. Reading books by godly men with a biblical world-view leads to not only changed thinking but to biblical thinking.

And, so, our breakfast with strangers was not only entertaining but was also enlightening. And while we thoroughly enjoyed our Bed and Breakfast stay, my daughter and I decided that camping is still our preferred way of travel!

Have a great Monday!

The Line

4 Comments / March 17, 2016 March 17, 2016

The other morning I heard a song that started me wondering about something–

If I stood completely alone in my stand for Christ with no fellow believers to be found anywhere, would I continue to stand? If I was rejected and abandoned by family, friends, and co-workers for my faith; If I was mocked and scorned and persecuted, would I cave?

Our pastor once told the story of The Line as part of his sermon. I am going to paraphrase it here–

There was a college professor who one day came up with an interesting little experiment to try on his classes. He showed different lines on a screen in front of his students. The lines were very obviously different lengths. When he pointed to the longest line, he asked how many of the class thought this was the longest line. (Now remember, it was very obviously the longest line). Only one student raised his hand. As he looked around him, he became hesitant and slowly pulled his hand back down to his side.

What the student didn’t know was that this had been a set-up. The professor wanted to know how many would raise their hand confidently at the objective truth in front of them, even if they were the only one.

75% of the lone students caved.

Seventy-five percent!

Now doesn’t that help us understand the state of the church a bit more clearly?

We aren’t teaching our kids to be courageous! We aren’t teaching them to stand up for the truth no matter what the cost!

And forget the kids for a second. What would you have done? I would say that I don’t care all that much about man’s praise, but when I think about that scenario, I think even me, at my stage in life, may have questioned myself. We are so caught up in the herd mentality that we have lost site of what matters. We so loathe being singled out, pointed at, and ridiculed that we do everything possible to avoid it–even if it means compromise.

And it’s getting harder and harder to stand. There used to be some tolerance for people who believe the Bible to be the inspired and infallible Word of God. Now there is very little–even from people who call themselves Christians. This change in our culture certainly gives us lots of opportunities to stand firmly for Christ– or to not stand.

The thing about compromise is that once you do it once, it becomes easier and easier. For solid Christians who actually know the Word of God the first step into the murky waters of compromise feels very uncomfortable. But it gets easier and easier and if we aren’t careful, we are surrounded and immersed in it and don’t even realize it.

Jesus tells us in John 15:18-25 that the world will hate us. That we should expect this. We find similar thoughts in 2 Timothy 3:12, I Peter 4:12-14, I John 3:13. In fact this theme is so woven throughout the scriptures, that we can come to the conclusion that if we aren’t persecuted and hated by at least some of those we come in contact with we may not be walking with God the way we should be.

This is very opposite of what you hear today, isn’t it? Instead we hear that peace and unity are the signs of a “good Christian”. Of course, if we are hated, it should be because of speaking truth. We never want it to be for the unkind way we speak truth or for promoting our own selfish agendas couched in “Christianese”. This is how Christians get such a terrible reputation.

I remember hearing John MacArthur say something that echoes my thoughts exactly on this. I can’t quote him word for word because I don’t have it. But it was something that stuck with me and it was something like this–

I am not concerned if people hate me for speaking the truth from God’s Word because they don’t like it. But I am very concerned if people hate me because of my sin–because I’ve been rude, or arrogant, or unloving.

I wish I had his exact quote, but I just don’t. But I remember hearing him and saying–YES! This is what we Christians need to remember! It’s okay to be hated for speaking the truth but it is never okay to be hated for being unloving or rude.

It’s a convicting challenge that requires constant testing of our own hearts. If Satan can’t get us to compromise then he instead tempts us to stand for the truth in an unloving, arrogant way. We can never let down our guards. As it says in I Peter 5:8–

Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.

Hmmm. I got a little off-track there for a moment. Let’s go back to the story of the line. Are you a little worried, like me, that you wouldn’t have the courage to raise your hand and stand for the truth all by yourself?

I remember as a teenager being so concerned about this. I would hear stories from the {former} USSR about people who would be shot or sent to Siberia for their faith and worrying that I would cave if I should ever face that same thing. But God gave me great comfort in two ways regarding this. First, in the promise that no matter what we face, His grace will be sufficient–

And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. (I Corinthians 12:9)

We will get the grace we need when we need it and not a moment before.

And, second, I take great comfort in the life of Peter. Isn’t it great encouragement that Peter–the man who denied his association with Christ three times (John 18) wasn’t rejected by Christ, but instead went on to do wonderful and amazing things for the Kingdom–even dying for Christ in the end? We should take great encouragement in this. For even one of Christ’s very disciples struggled with this and yet, in the end, stood strong and firm!

I hope these things encourage you, too, because I think our opportunities to stand alone are going to become more and more frequent. It is sobering and actually quite frightening. But it’s not impossible. And–as my pastor says–there is always a remnant–a remnant of those of us who believe the Bible wholly and fully. Praise God! We are never truly alone, even though it may feel like it for a moment.

Many of you are part of that remnant. Let’s encourage one another as we face the unknown. Let’s put the foolish arguments that don’t matter aside and unite in our commitment to God and His Word. Let’s stand boldly–no matter the cost.

Why Do You Need God?

2 Comments / February 22, 2016 February 22, 2016

Why do you need God?

The answers to this question were all given with different voices, different words, different intonations. But they all said basically the same thing–

To make my life easier.

Words like encouragement and strength and comfort were used. We need God because He helps us get through difficult times.

This was a dialogue I heard a couple of weeks ago on Todd Friel’s Wretched Radio program. Almost every Wednesday he dedicates his radio program to talking to the lost. He calls it “Witness Wednesday”, taking his radio show on the road and asking people what they think about God. It is generally fascinating and eye-opening. On this particular day he was asking the question “Why do you need God?” to students on a college campus.

Of course, many said they don’t need God or that they don’t believe in God. But far more troublesome to me were the students who seemed to have a basic understanding of Christianity as a religion and yet didn’t truly understand why they need God.

Instead their answers were filled with the feel-good, me-centered drivel we have all grown quite used to.

But is this really why we need God? Is it because He helps us get through tough times and makes life here on earth so much better? While I am not denying that this is true, I would like to suggest that this is not why we need God. The primary reason we need God is because we are eternally damned without Him. (Romans 6:23; Romans 3:23; Revelation 21:8)

We are born sinners. We are slaves to our sin and to Satan, living in thick, black darkness. But God sent His son to redeem us–to die on a cross for our sins, making a way for us to be reconciled to Himself. We need not be condemned forever, because Jesus died for us–in our place! What marvelous truth! (Hebrews 9:12; I Timothy 2:5) This is what Christianity is all about.

At least it used to be what it was all about.

Somehow in the last 20 years or so, it has become a watered-down, weak, ecumenical, self-absorbed religion that looks nothing like what the Bible teaches.

The intrinsic problem with this change is that there are so many who have been swept into this religion that consists of a god of their own making. When we move away from the Word of God as we strive to answer eternal questions, we leave ourselves open to lies and deadly false teaching.

As I heard the students explain why they need God, there was no mention of sin and no mention of salvation. Instead it was centered around how God helps them in their self-centered agendas. No wonder they get disillusioned later on in life when things don’t go as they planned.

This is an amazing contrast to the disciples, all who were martyred for their faith (except John, who was exiled to an island). But the censorship and persecution started for the disciples even before Jesus was crucified. As I read about Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead in John 11 last week, I learned that Jesus was walking into grave danger as He traveled to Lazarus, who was located in Judea. By this time, the Pharisees were actively seeking to do away with this Man who was calling Himself God. Of course, Jesus knew that nothing would happen to Him before it was His appointed time, but the disciples did not have this same knowledge. And so as Jesus starts for Judea, the disciples fully understood that their lives could be in danger, as well, if they decided to accompany Him. But instead of turning back, this is what we see Thomas say in verse 16–

Then Thomas, who is called the Twin, said to his fellow disciples, “Let us also go, that we may die with Him.”

The text would indicate that he honestly believed that there was a likelihood they would die with Christ on that day.

This not only shows us just how dreadful and powerful the Pharisees were but it also tells us just how dedicated the disciples were to the Savior. And I find myself wondering: Would I have been courageous enough to follow Jesus? Or would I have opted to protect myself instead? It is sobering to think about, isn’t it?

When Jesus tells us to pick up our cross and follow Him (Luke 9:23), this does not mean that our lives will be full of flowers and sunshine. Sure we will be blessed with wonderful moments (thankfully!) but some of the places Christ leads us will be terribly difficult and we will find ourselves persecuted and hated. Are we willing to make that sacrifice to follow the Savior? Or will we walk away broken and embittered when Jesus doesn’t meet our “felt needs” or fulfill our worldly dreams?

Are we prepared to follow Jesus anywhere or will we defect when things take a painful turn? Asking this question is a great way to test the genuineness of our faith. If our faith is built on the biblical doctrine of salvation then we will stand strong in the face of persecution. We understand that we need God because He is our only hope of salvation from the sin that imprisons us! And then–as we grow in Christ–we learn that He offers us so much more than we can ask or imagine, but being rescued from our sin is always our starting point.

Will we be like Thomas–understanding true salvation and following Jesus even though it may mean suffering for the sake of our Savior? Or will we be like those college students–living with a vague, partial, and unbiblical definition of a God they aren’t even seeking?

What Your Tips Tell the World

Leave a Comment / February 18, 2016 February 18, 2016

On several occasions now, I have had my daughters share with me just how awful Christians are at tipping. Their experiences range from Christian conferences in town for the weekend to waiting on folks who pray before their meals or talk freely about their faith. Just recently, this was brought to mind again, as one of my daughters reminded me just how much she and her co-workers hate when a Christian conference comes to town.

What is wrong with this picture?

Now keep in mind I have had two daughters who work in this industry in several different restaurants and this is what I keep hearing. The wait staff at restaurants do not expect Christians to tip well. And, actually, they find Christians are often rude and unkind, as well. Those Christians that are the opposite are a welcome exception.

The thing that makes them laugh the most is when there will be a tract laying beside a dollar bill. If we aren’t going to be generous in our tipping, it would be better to leave the tract tucked away in our purse or pocket, as it simply serves to give the gospel a bad name.

Sometimes, wait staff will try to give people the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they honestly don’t know that waiters only make around $2 an hour and heavily rely on tips to survive?

You may be thinking that you will never make a difference in the life of that waiter or waitress, anyway. You will never see them again. And that may be true. But we do have the opportunity to either open or close that heart to the message of Christ. If someone later on does have an opportunity to share the gospel with that waiter or waitress, will our experience with them hinder or help that process?

It would seem to me that of all peoples, we should be the kindest and the most generous. Not only are we to be filled with the fruits of the spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) as we interact with people, but Jesus commands us to treat others as we want to be treated (Luke 6:31).

So let’s expand this further than simply restaurants. As we evaluate our interaction with those who serve us, whether they be store clerks, customer service reps, repairmen, bank tellers, or wait staff, how do we treat them? Do we treat them like we would want to be treated or do we give a little grunt of hello and then proceed to ignore them, or–even worse yet–to be rude and nasty?

This can be especially difficult if the person serving us is not the nicest to us.

This happened to me a few months ago. Something went wrong behind the scenes and Growing 4 Life was taken off-line. When I called the number given me in the email for an explanation, I ended up getting a rude, unhelpful guy that made my temper awfully hard to hang on to. Talking to him was like talking to a brick wall. I ended up calling a different number and getting it solved, but after it was all over, my mom asked me how I had treated the rude guy, given the message of my blog. As I was talking to this man about Growing 4 Life there was a good chance he would land there after we were done talking, if only to check on it. Thankfully, I had remembered this during my conversation and had not completely blown it– although, admittedly, I could have done much better than I did!

But just as this blog gives a message about me and I have a responsibility to behave in alliance with that message, so our lives, too, if we are Christians, give a message about us–a message that comes with a responsibility.

Many patches of ground have remained unsown because of some thoughtless Christian who destroyed the witness of Christ by their thoughtless, rude, and stingy behavior. Let us be the exception! May we instead help prepare the soil for the gospel message by our kindness and generosity, so that hearts may be open to the good news of Christ.

With Acceptance Comes Peace

1 Comment / February 8, 2016 February 8, 2016

When you get to be my age, sometimes you look back over your past and you realize just how much you have changed in certain areas. Oh, in many ways, I am still the person I was but–praise God!– in so many ways I am not.

Sometimes it seems that all we hear about the Christian life is brokenness and imperfectness and how that unites us all. And, yes, we are all broken. I actually prefer the term sinful. It’s what we are and it is how we are born. But there is some victory over the years in the life of a servant of God who truly desires to obey the Word of God. I’d like to share one of those small victories with you today. I am not sure I was even aware of it until a conversation took place a few weeks ago.

This person was not happy with their circumstances. They kept reminding me of how unfair it all was and questioning why life wasn’t going a bit more according to their plan.

As I listened, vague memories of my own dissatisfaction with my life circumstances came to my mind. I remembered feeling much the same way about my life situation when I was a young wife with a houseful of small children and a workaholic husband. If you remember, we were building a business. And businesses take hours and hours and hours. My husband has never worked less than 55 hours a week. Many times it was more. (It probably still is). And, of course, in the beginning years, there was little money to show for it. It was a lot of hours for little reward.

I could feel myself growing slightly resentful. I’d hear of things other husbands were doing and how they were able to help their wives and I’d think to myself: That’s just not fair.

But somewhere in that time of my life when I could have grown bitter and resentful over this, the Lord opened my eyes to a wonderful truth–

With acceptance comes peace.

This particular phrase was coined by Elisabeth Elliot. I am using it because it is the simplest, most profound way to say what I learned.

My life was my life. I was not changing my husband. I knew enough to know that. So I could choose to be joyful in my circumstances or I could choose to be a miserable grump. The choice was all mine. And the ramifications of that choice would ripple out across my family.

As I understood this more fully, I came to understand that the only thing I could change was me. Was I so arrogant as to believe that I somehow I had it all together? Did I think my husband had it so easy to be married to me?

Yes, as the Lord opened my eyes to accepting my circumstances, he also opened my eyes to my own bad attitudes, unkind words, and impatience. And it was not a pretty sight.

As I started climbing out of the pit that complaining and dissatisfaction had kept me in, I started realizing just how good I had it. Sure, my husband worked long hours but he loved his family. He was there for the kids whenever he possibly could be, making it to more games and events of theirs than most dads who don’t work those same hours. We had winters together–a few quiet months each year to catch our breath and regroup as a family.

As I started to focus on the positive and not the negative, our family life changed. As I started focusing on fixing myself instead of fixing my husband, our marriage changed.

Oh, I’d like to say I never experienced defeat in this area again, but, of course, life isn’t like that. But remembering that accepting my circumstances is the key to peace (and joy, too) in my life has helped me navigate many an unfair circumstance in my life. That lesson I learned as a young mom has helped me through many difficult times.

Let’s face it–we could all have a reason to be dissatisfied with our lot in life in one way or another. And if the thing we struggle with could be fixed tomorrow, we’d find something else to be unhappy about. It is the very nature of our humanity. We actually have to work against our selfish nature to rise above it and reach acceptance.

Now, let me just add this one thing–

Acceptance is not the same thing as resignation.

Accepting our circumstances does not mean we resign ourselves to the fact that our circumstances will never change. We still pray and ask the Lord to convict those who need to change. We ask Him to turn hearts to Him or to work in an area of our life or someone else’s life that needs changed. Oh, how we neglect the power of God to change people when we don’t get on our knees with diligence and perseverance.

But while we wait for God to work, we have to accept His timing and His sovereignty in the situation and work on our own selves–humbly recognizing our own sinfulness and need for growth.

Yes, this can all be extremely difficult, but the sweet and abundant fruit we yield when we do so is so much different than the bitter, ugly fruit we yield when we don’t.

And, so, there is some victory in the life of a believer truly dedicated to God and His Word. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 is so true, isn’t it? —

All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, ¹⁷that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.

The Word of God will change us–but only if we spend time studying it with a humble and yielded heart.

Lessons from a Snowstorm

8 Comments / January 25, 2016 January 25, 2016

To say my weekend turned out nothing like I planned would be an understatement. It started off with a phone call on Friday morning that forced me to change my plans for the whole day. As I drove home on Friday night the snow was coming down much earlier than had been forecasted and the weather reports seemed to be raising the amount of snowfall expected. Our landscape company does snow removal, so I knew we were definitely in for an interesting weekend.

As the snow fell on Friday night everyone gathered at our house and we turned on a movie. But it was not a normal relaxed movie night as my husband, son, and son-in-law kept their eyes on the weather and wondered how they were going to handle such a huge storm.

Three days later, it is mostly over. Although as I sit here at my laptop, my guys are still clearing snow in their efforts to get normal life back up and running for folks. Oh, how I respect and admire them for this. I don’t think I could do it. They have been going nonstop since during the night on Friday with just a few hours of sleep. I don’t know about you, but I know that I couldn’t do that. I am so thankful for the men in my life!

My job is to take the inevitable phone calls, which is always an adventure. One of our secretaries made it into the office this morning, so I am finally getting the opportunity to sit down and write on this Monday morning. My thoughts feel a little scattered, so I am going to try to pull them all together.

The weekend was full of interesting stories and tidbits, but instead of relaying everything, I thought I’d just summarize a few lessons that I learned (or was reminded of yet again)–

1. God is faithful. I never fail to be amazed at how God works out all the details when these days come. We have breakdowns and we have problems, but God is there in the midst of it. Without question. I know skeptics call this coincidence. But really–is there such a thing?

2. Most people are still generally nice. At least that is what I experienced yesterday. Because of the huge amounts of snow, we had run into the unusual circumstance of our normal snow equipment not being adequate for all of our jobs. This meant contracting subcontractors with bigger machines. But most people were patient and very kind when they called to ask about their driveway.

3. Some people are not so nice and they are the ones who remind me that I still have such a long way to go in the sanctification process. At one point, one lady called to complain about something. Her complaint was certainly legitimate, but it was made with such anger and accusations that I had a very difficult time holding on to my temper. I did manage to do so, but I got a little sarcastic and felt quite a bit of glee informing her that I was one of the owners when she demanded to speak to one of them. It is people like this that remind me that I still have such a long way to go in loving others–especially the ones that are selfish and unkind.

4. God answers prayer. In the midst of the weekend, we ended up having quite the crisis. Without going into details, I felt so helpless and really had to reign in the worry and fear that was rising quickly inside me, threatening to overtake me. I learned again that when I am faced with circumstances far outside my control, that I am not that spiritually mature, after all. I enlisted a few people to pray and God answered in an amazing way. We feel undeserving but offer our deepest and most humble thanks to Him!

5. A thank you in the midst of something like this is like a balm to the soul. This morning, before I switched the phones back to the office, I answered a call from a local business that we plow for. As most calls are usually negative, I prepared for the complaint that was sure to come. Instead, they had called to thank us for doing such a great job. Wow. What a blessing! Just a simple phone call, so easy to do, and yet so many of us never take the time to do this. I am thankful that this man did so. It means so much to our guys to hear words of praise once in awhile. We are always so quick to complain but most of us rarely offer a thank you. This phone call reminded me of the importance to express my gratitude to others.

6. I won’t die if I can’t leave my house. One of the things I have had to get used to is being the last one plowed out. Even now, my driveway is full of snow and drifts. This used to really get to me and I would grow a little angry. But as I have gotten older, I have realized that it was just my selfish desire not to be stuck here that drove my anger. Now I just try to be patient and not to be an extra burden that my husband has to worry about. When I feel a little claustrophobia rising in me, I just remind myself that I have people who could pick me up if there was an emergency!

These are just a few of things I learned this weekend. I am sure I could come up with more, but I need to go get busy and see if I can get my life back to some semblance of order! Hope you have a great day!

Living in Stepford

6 Comments / January 21, 2016 January 21, 2016

I can still remember the “made for TV” movie called The Stepford Wives in the 1970s. It starrrd Barbara Eden of I Dream of Jeannie fame and, for whatever reason, made quite an impact on me. Many years later, maybe in the 90s, they remade the movie but I never watched that version, so I don’t know how similar it was to the first one.

The original movie was set in the town of Stepford, where an evil thing was happening –the husbands of the town were replacing their real wives and children with perfect robotic versions of them. Barbara Eden’s character gets wind of this and the movie is about her and her children fighting for their lives. The plot is a bit vague in the back of my mind and I don’t remember much, but I do remember one thing–it was creepy seeing all that “perfection”.

Yes, dear.

No, dear.

What do you want for supper, dear?

It wasn’t…normal.

Sometimes in life we see families a little like this. Of course, we know they are real people, but from the outside all looks to be quite perfect–at least for awhile. And, yet, in so many of these families the kids walk away from the Lord when they grow up. Why is that?

I have spent some time pondering the effects of legalism on a family. Why do some families who live by a set of rules have their kids grow up practicing a vibrant faith, while other families, living by those same rules, lose their kids to the world?

I believe this is a very valuable discussion, because many of us have grown so afraid to lay down strict rules for our children because we are so afraid of losing their hearts. But I don’t believe that one leads to the other. In fact, I have seen as many kids walk away from the faith who had permissive parents as those who walked away from the Lord under the care of strict parents.

So what is the key to raising kids who love the Lord? If it isn’t a set of rules or not having a set of rules, what is it?

It can be puzzling for us to see these churches and families who look a little like Stepford, But, perhaps, some of them, like the Pharisees, have never been cleaned from the inside out.

And so perhaps that is the answer to my question–

Some families are only focusing on the outside set of rules–concerned for their reputation and outward appearance. These families leave little room for discussion and use terms like “because I said so” and “you’re grounded” quite often. But other families are more concerned about their children’s walk with God, and they focus on the heart, recognizing that this is the fountain from which a holy life springs. These parents spend just as much time communicating and discussing the Word of God and what to live a Christian life means as they do disciplining bad behavior.

Actually, if you really think about it, legalism is just another false religion, isn’t it?

Last year I wrote a post on this topic of false religion. Here are a few paragraphs from it to remind us what exactly makes a religion true or false–

False religion teaches that your eternal destiny lies in your hands in one way or another. It will teach that you need to do something in order to be saved. Oh, they all vary in what that something is and they might even throw in as part of their doctrine something about Jesus saving you from your sins, but false religion will always require something other than faith alone.

Ephesians 2:8-9 confirms this–

For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, ⁹not of works, lest anyone should boast.

And so if we teach that we must add something to be right with God, we become heretics. This makes legalism damning–for it is a set of rules that needs to accompany saving faith in Jesus Christ.

Does that mean we need to toss all rules to the wind?

Of course not. Just as we need laws and policeman to enforce them to keep the public safe and secure, so we need to have some rules to keep our children safe and protected. It is our job. But we can never make the rules the heart of our parenting.

And, as our kids grow into teens, our rules should always have a reason based on the Word of God. For it is there we want our young adults to find their authority. It is there we want them to go with their questions and decisions.

Our family has been accused of legalism so often I can’t count. It seems in this culture, convictions and legalism equal the same thing. But I want you to know they are absolutely not the same thing.

Making a choice to do or not do something that is based on our love for Jesus and our desire to be like Him is not legalism. That is called a desire to be holy and pure, as commanded in scripture on multiple occasions (I Peter 1:15-16; Colossians 3:12)

And so, as believers, we shouldn’t pretend to be living in Stepford. And, honestly, who are we going to win for the gospel with that kind of Christianity, anyway? It looks impossible and the results are mixed, at best.

So let’s be real. Let’s make sure the world knows we aren’t perfect and that we continue to battle with sin each and every day. Let’s stop trying to look so perfect to the outside world–as if by becoming a Christian, our life somehow becomes perfect. But let’s also make sure we continue to strive to live a holy life, putting rules and guidelines in place that help us in our desire to be more like Jesus and to live a life that honors God, all the while keeping the focus on our hearts and the hearts of our kids, knowing that this is where all behavior is rooted.

And let’s remember the important difference between legalism and conviction, not allowing fingers pointed at us and voices calling us “legalistic” and “narrow-minded” to keep us from doing the right thing as we strive to live a life that is holy and separate from the world.

Reclaiming Our Brains

16 Comments / January 14, 2016 January 14, 2016

The other day I was standing at the check-out line in our local grocery store and– out of habit– pulled my phone from my pocket to see what I was missing in the virtual world as I waited in line. At one point, I glanced at my daughter, and she, too, was staring down at the smartphone in her hand, checking on the things going on in her virtual world.

And that’s when it hit me–what are we doing?

Why do we feel so compelled to pull out our phones when even the smallest bit of unfilled time presents itself? Are we afraid of thinking? Are we afraid of standing around looking awkward?

I just can’t believe we are here–that this is the world we live in. A world where–

A child plays with an iPad in the car as they travel the short distance to school.

Grandparents pull out their phones to check their email at dinner.

Parents scroll through Facebook as they wait in the check-out line.

Where people view the news through 2 minute sound bites and you-tube videos at any time and any place they desire.

If we are older than thirty-five, we remember a world where all that we are experiencing now was a big, “pie-in-the-sky” dream. We watched shows like the the Jetsons, but never in our wildest imagination did we believe it would happen in our lifetimes.

But then, ever so subtly, life changed. Drastically. And, one day, we could see the person we loved on the other side of the world as we talked in real-time. And we could pull up any song, any sports clip, any movie on miniature screens before our eyes in our homes and on the bus and in the mall. Any information we needed about a medical condition, any bit of trivia, any sports fact, any scientific theory could be found within seconds on the internet. The only thing that stopped us was if we were out of cell phone range.

And that is when life changed forever.

And some of the changes are good ones. How nice to find out that the strange pain in our elbow isn’t anything to be worried about. Or to locate that actor that we just know we’ve seen on another movie somewhere before.

But with these conveniences come some pretty serious consequences, as well. Being able to communicate instantly with those you love and having access to any information at our fingertips at any time does come with a price.

Here are a few of the costs that come to mind–

Our Relationships

You’d think smartphones and iPads would help our relationships–and I guess they probably do help long-distance relationships. I have a daughter living in another state and it is such a wonderful blessing to see her while we talk via Facetime. But I am not sure the smartphone is quite as beneficial for the relationships we have with our spouses and our kids and our friends who we live and work with everyday.

I have two daughters that have worked as waitresses. They tell me it was not at all unusual for a family of four to be sitting in the restaurant, all of them staring at their phones as they wait for their dinner. Another common thing was to see a preschooler occupied by an iPad during dinner so mommy and daddy could talk. The saddest thing is that these families probably don’t even understand just how very tragic this is because this is the only world they know.

The TV really started the whole thing by dominating our dinnertime. If you drive by houses during the dinner hour in the winter time and glance in the windows, you will see that almost every home has that familiar blue light on within. So many people have stopped talking to each other during this precious time together and have replaced it with screens talking to them.

Have you ever been talking to someone and have them pull out their phone while you are talking to them? Have you done this? I have done this. I am ashamed to admit but I have. What is wrong with me? Why would I make my phone a priority over my family? If even just for a moment? I never want my family or friends to think my phone is more important to me than they are, but sometimes we can give that message if we aren’t careful.

Yes, our relationships are strained and stressed if we keep screens on 24/7. Communication and good discussion is limited. There is no denying it.

Our Concentration Capacity

We struggle so much to stay focused now that we are constantly being pulled in different directions by all this technology. We are becoming so used to a soundbite world since so much of our information now comes to us via two minute videos or 500-word blog posts. Twitter has trained us to think in even shorter sentences. I don’t really get Twitter, so I am not really familiar with it–except to know that there is a word limit on your tweets!

All of this is why pastors have shortened their sermons. It’s why we have such a difficult time reading a whole book or working at a hobby of great detail for any length of time. We have trained our brains to think in soundbites.

Dominate Our Attention

We have, quite freely and willingly, given hours and hours of our own lives and also the lives of our children to these devices. Probably more than we can count.

Instead of playing outside, children sit in front of a screen. Instead of talking with mommy or daddy on the way to school or the store, children stare at a screen.

Instead of talking to the waitress or cashier, our eyes are on our phones. Instead of doing a puzzle, crocheting, wood-working, or playing a family game, we sit around watching TV or playing games on a screen. At the very least, we are wasting so much precious time.

Of course, it isn’t wrong to do these things in moderation. But many of us left moderation behind a long time ago.

There are more costs. These are just three. But perhaps we should spend a little time considering how we can reclaim our brains back from our smartphones. How can we learn to concentrate again? How can we focus on our family members instead of picking up our phone when a text dings or a notification comes in? I have a few ideas. Some have really helped me. Others I haven’t tried yet, but plan to. If you have some to add, please comment below. Please share with us how you reclaimed your brain.

Here are a few ideas–

Do not have your phone in your pocket or laying on the table in front of you when you have your devotions, eat dinner with your family, or are talking with someone about something serious. And while you are at it, turn the TV off, too. Family dinnertime is so precious and we let the world invade that precious time when we allow the TV and our smartphones as part of it.
Turn off notifications. This one really helped me. Instead of being notified about a new e-mail or facebook comment and let it interrupt me at any time, I determine when I will check my apps.
Refuse to pull your phone from your purse or pocket while waiting in line or sitting on a bench at the mall or while waiting for an appointment. Instead, observe the world around you and take it all in. We have such a vibrant, interesting world with no two people the same. Look at those people. Some of them surely need the Lord. Start a conversation and plant some seeds for the sake of the Gospel.
Read a book. A real book. Or a book on your Kindle. Whichever you choose, make sure you have no access to the internet or the opportunity for communication anywhere close by.
Remember that no one needs you that badly. We panic when we don’t have our phones with us now. I can understand why those under 30 feel that way, as they’ve never known any other life, but I don’t really understand it for us older people. Why would we panic? I used to travel 12 hours to college in the snow with no phone (!!) My parents didn’t know if I was dead or alive until I would get around to calling them sometime after I arrived. And this is how we lived. We had no other options. Some of you can remember those days. Now we feel like if we don’t have instant access to our world in our pocket, we will miss a terrible emergency or something. I guess that’s possible. But it’s pretty unlikely.
Put all smartphones in a basket before bed and leave them there for the night. If you have no home phone, then turn the volume up on just one of them and put it on a dresser far away from the side of the bed. This is a rule we would put in place if we had to go back and raise our kids. This whole new world of advanced technology hit us quite unawares and there are many things we would handle differently. This is most definitely one of them.
Last, but certainly not least, ask the Lord for help. If your smartphone use or iPad use is out of control, then ask the Lord to show you how to get it under control. Search the scriptures for some helpful verses. Colossians 3:17 can get you started. We know that God cares for us–about every struggle and every burden. (I Peter 5:7) That’s the kind of God we serve.

I hope this helps. You may be rolling your eyes, wondering why I would even bother to write such a post. You may not have a smart phone or you may have one that you don’t feel tied to. However, I assure you that I have seen enough families not talking to each other in restaurants and I’ve seen enough people of all ages staring at their phones any time and any place (even in church–where some are using it to read their Bible app and some say they are and aren’t) to know that this is a real problem for a lot of people. If you are one of them, then I want you to know there is hope and freedom to be found from this modern addiction. We know God wants us to live lives that glorify Him and we can best do that when our eyes are looking upwards and outwards and not down at our smartphone.

How Do You Say Good-Bye?

9 Comments / December 31, 2015 December 31, 2015

This year brought so many changes into my life. It was an exciting, exhausting, and emotional year. With two weddings and the announcement that we are going to be grandparents, life took a turn that I knew was coming but, for some reason, was not really prepared for. I guess it’s a little like when you get married or become a parent–you can try to prepare for what you know is coming, but there is no way to really understand until you are in the midst of the new situation, taking one day at a time.

Another big change we had this year was that one of our daughter’s and her husband moved across country after their wedding. The two of them made plans to come home for the holidays and so only three weeks ago we were waiting for them with great anticipation. We have had a wonderful time with them the past couple of weeks.

But, eventually, our final moments together approached.

We are all familiar with them. Those last few hours of time together. Wanting to make the most of it. But not really quite sure how. Talking about weather and places and people. Trying to ignore the fact that, all too soon, we will have to say good-bye for another few months or longer.

Every hello means an eventual good-bye. For some of us we are the visitors, packing up our families to stay with parents or siblings over the holidays. For others of us, we are the parents and siblings the rest come to see. Whatever we do over the holidays, most of us experience sweet hellos and sad good-byes during this time.

We get together, spending an unusual amount of time together. We try to get along, knowing that we won’t see each other again for who knows how long. It can be a challenge for so many people to live together in one house, but, for so many of us, this time spent with family is just such a wonderful blessing.

It is a strange emotion–this dread to say good-bye to our loved ones but this yearning to go back to the routine of life that we are so familiar with. And we wonder why we can’t have our routine and the people we love in our lives at the same time. But that’s just not how it is. And, for many of us, will never be how it is. It’s just life in this day and age of careers, callings, and desires drawing people to live in places all over the country. And all over the world.

And so we have joyful holiday reunions and tearful good-byes. And we thank the Lord for bringing us together again and ask Him if He would bless us with another visit again next year.

And then things settle back down to our normal routine again and we have to be satisfied with e-mails, texting, and Skype. It’s just how it is.

No spiritual lesson here today. Just a mother’s heart that was sad to say good-bye. Again. Do we ever get used to this?

One of our attempts at a family photo over the holidays…

p.s. Did you make it through the 2015 Bible Challenge? If so, visit my growing4life Facebook page and let me know!