Hope – Page 7 – Growing 4 Life

Should a Christian Be Depressed?

6 Comments / August 15, 2013 August 15, 2013

The pit was dark and it encompassed me. When I made an effort to climb out, I couldn’t find anything on which to grip and I’d slide back down, landing in a crumpled heap in the enveloping blackness. No, it wasn’t a physical pit. It was an emotional one. And I stayed there for a couple of weeks. The first time it happened, I didn’t understand. I was a Christian! I was fully aware of God’s amazing sacrifice for my sinful self and what that means for me. And not only that– I was so blessed. I had every physical need met, my kids were doing well, my husband loves me, my family was in good health. I had NO RIGHT to be depressed. And, yet, here I was. Stuck in a pit so deep I was finding it hard to make my way out.

I had to ask the question: Is it okay for a Christian to be depressed?

I have been thinking about this since that first happened to me. And I have come to the conclusion that the answer isn’t a simple yes or no. In my case, I learned that it had to do with my hormones. When it happened the second time I wasn’t quite as taken unawares and could remind myself that it will end. Some people aren’t quite so fortunate and battle against this for weeks…months…even years. For some, it is the symptom of hurt from long ago buried deep within the mind. It could also be the outcome of unrepented sin. While I don’t have a high opinion of human psychology (and this was one of my majors in college so I know quite a bit about this particular subject), I do believe there is a place for solid biblical counseling. For others, there may be a medical issue. Why would’t our brains have some legitimate problems, just like our hearts, our stomachs, and our kidneys?

I don’t claim to have the answer to this question. I believe it is so multi-faceted that it needs to be answered on a case by case basis. In my case, I believe God is using these times to shape me and mold me, teaching me to turn to Him in those dark moments and to control my thought life. Many of you can’t understand this, but controlling my thought life in those times is like moving a rock that weighs a million tons. And so I can see how God is using these times to make me more mature spiritually.

But let’s move beyond the original question.

Let’s move on to the lack of compassion many of us Christians have for our fellow brothers and sisters that find themselves in this dark pit of depression. Many of us stand back and criticize those who are in this battle. We are like schoolchildren, making fun of something we don’t understand. Instead of coming alongside and supporting them, we stand back and point fingers and gossip.

This is not right.

As believers, we are to weep with those that weep (Romans 12:15). We are to encourage one another (I Thessalonians 5:11). Look, sometimes we can see that the suffering person truly does need to work through some sin or past hurt in their life. They may even need genuine salvation. There is a place for loving confrontation. My point is this: there is never a place for judgment and a critical heart towards those that suffer with this incomprehensible condition.

Until it happened to me, I was one of those. I would think: Just snap out of it, for goodness’ sake. I wouldn’t say it. I would just think it. I didn’t get it.

And then I fell into the pit myself.

All of a sudden that is what my family members were saying to me. Snap out of it. You don’t have anything to be depressed about.

They weren’t telling me anything I didn’t already know.

This topic is sticky. So sticky. There is sin involved…sometimes. But sometimes it is truly hormonal or medical. May I encourage all of us to come alongside and encourage and pray for our brothers and sisters that find themselves fighting depression, rather than pointing fingers and gossiping about something we have a hard time understanding? Life is hard. We need each others’ support, no matter what battle the Lord allows in our lives.

Spilling the Oil

Leave a Comment / August 8, 2013 August 8, 2013

I searched the mail for the package I was awaiting. Yes, there it was! I grabbed it in anticipation. I had ordered some peppermint essential oil, a key ingredient for a lot of the homemade cleaning supplies and personal care items I make. I carefully lifted the well-wrapped container from the brown box. As I tried to remove the bubble wrap surrounding the container it slipped from my hands. I watched it fall to the floor. It broke into many pieces and the precious oil spilled all over my kitchen floor.

Yes, I could buy another bottle (and I did), but it was still annoying and also a waste of money.

You see, when that peppermint oil left my hand and broke on the floor, I was never going to get that bottle back. I could order another bottle, but I’d never get that particular bottle back.

It reminds me of the years we have with our children. I think I am especially thinking about that as I see my kids growing into young adults who are ready to begin their own lives. Suddenly, I am here at this place and I realize that those precious years are over, spilled out and surrounding me with thousands of incredible memories, daunting failures, and even some wonderful triumphs.

It can haunt me if I think on it too much. Sometimes the kids would ask me to play a game with them or I’d know that I should discipline one of them for something and I’d put it off, thinking to myself there would always be tomorrow. But then one day there is no longer any tomorrow. They have grown up and the relationship has changed.

But it isn’t just in the area of children that this is tempting. Perhaps it is who we were before we became a believer that we regret. Or maybe it’s a bad financial decision or a tragedy that we didn’t see coming and just can’t get over. Maybe it’s a broken relationship that we can’t get past, still a spilled mess that we can’t seem to garner the energy to clean up. It may even be the “good old days” that keep us from living fully in the now. We just miss what was and can’t seem to get ourselves back to the future.

I could have stood there and mourned that lost bottle for hours. But what good would that have done? Staring at the strong-smelling contents spreading across my floor wouldn’t have made any difference in the world, except to encourage me in my sadness and regret.

But in getting a towel and wiping it up, leaving the pleasant peppermint aroma behind as a reminder, and then heading to the computer to order another one, I made a purposeful decision to move on from that mistake and start again.

I guess that is how it is with life, too. No, I can’t go back and change my actions with my small children, but I can embrace these moments I have now. After all, that is all we are really guaranteed, isn’t it? We can’t change the decisions, the circumstances, and the hearts of others. So, instead, we need to wipe up the mess, leaving the pleasant aroma of memories behind so that we don’t forget, and move on.

Looking back to the past can be very tempting. And a moment or two of nostalgia is okay, but it never does anyone any good to stay there for long, does it?

While we should appreciate our pasts and the events and people who have shaped us, we need to keep our faces turned forward and grab hold of what the Lord has for us next.

The Danger of the Internet

2 Comments / July 25, 2013 July 31, 2013

Did you think I was going to talk about pornography when you read the title? Pornography definitely is a growing and serious danger in this culture where absolutes barely exist in the mind of most and the internet make it very, very accessible. It has destroyed thousands–maybe tens of thousands–of marriages.

Or maybe you read the title and you thought I was going to talk about the danger of online buying and how now, at the press of a button, we can buy almost anything our heart desires, as long as we have a big enough credit line. This, too, is a danger and we need to be on guard to be good stewards of the material possessions God has put in our care.

But I think one of the biggest dangers and most deadly for many Christians is the temptation to compare. You see, when I was growing up, I didn’t know (or need to know) what was going on in anybody’s life outside my family and close circle of friends. Oh, I might have heard about someone’s exciting job promotion or dramatic weight loss through the grapevine, but it wasn’t part of my everyday existence.

But, alas, came the birth of Facebook and suddenly people are posting all that is good about themselves. We want to present our best side to the public and so most of us post about the good things we are doing and the exciting, positive happenings of our lives. And, of course, this is the natural thing to do, and I am not saying it is bad (please be sure to understand that).

Blogs and Pinterest are also danger zones in this temptation for comparison. We see the amazing, incredible creations of others or the business accomplishments they have had or the homestead they have created or the amazing interior decorating or even the huge amount of followers they have and we grow dissatisfied and envious.

It is very, very tempting to compare and become unhappy when we dwell on what we can’t do or don’t have. We have to be so careful to keep a proper perspective if we are investing our time in viewing these sites, because envying isn’t doing anyone any good (and it is also a sin! Exodus 20:17).

God has given each of us certain gifts and talents. He has given us each different body types. We have been blessed with different types of families. We have different tastes in style, food, and hobbies.

Some husbands are romantic. Others are not.

Some kids do fabulous things for Mother’s Day. Others do not.

Some people have the resources to take fantastic vacations. Others do not.

Some people are naturally thin. Others are not.

Some have kids who always win awards. Others do not.

Some have amazing, interesting jobs. Others do not.

Some are amazingly talented and crafty. Others are not.

I have occasionally found myself envying someone on the screen. I have to catch myself and make an intentional decision to be happy for them. This is not always easy for me (am I alone here?) as I try to tell myself that they certainly have their own struggles and that the grass is not always greener on the other side. And, as a Christian, it is my job to rejoice with them! But sometimes it is hard. Especially if it is an area I am struggling in. God continues to work in my heart in this area.

You see, it is a heart issue. We need to learn to be content in all circumstances (Philippians 4:11) and then, and only then, can we visit Facebook or Pinterest or any other site with an open heart to learn something or to rejoice with others, instead of being filled with that dreaded sense of envy and jealousy.

This is linked up here :)

Wednesday Wisdom: Are You Weary of Being Outraged?

1 Comment / July 24, 2013 July 24, 2013

This is from the newsletter of Jan Markell at OliveTree Views.org. I do believe that we Christians often forget that we know the ending of the story. I found this encouraging and hope that you do, too–

If you’re like me, you’re fed up. You’re disgusted that evil always seems to win! You wonder why God allows serial liars in government and elsewhere to keep prospering and even to win re-election in many places. Just being aware of the fact that we’re in an Isaiah 5:20 world isn’t enough: that we’re likely in the midst of evil being called good.

We have unspeakable atrocities going on at the highest levels. People are being silenced on Benghazi and the perpetrators are still running free. America funds one of the most evil outfits on earth: the Muslim Brotherhood. All Americans are being spied on! What I’m typing here in real time is likely being recorded somewhere. You and I are being watched and listened to as if we were criminals. Truth is, we are being watched by criminals — the ones who are murdering the Constitution. And soon we’re going to have to trust the most corrupt institution there is – the IRS – to administer our healthcare.

And even if we rioted in the streets, or started a third, fourth, or fifth political party, we wouldn’t see much of a change for the good. Government is supposed to serve us yet it is clearly operating the other way around and to many, government has now become a god. Just quoting the familiar verse from Proverbs 29:2, “When the wicked rule, the people mourn,” is not a comfort. We want to throw the wicked bums out and cannot.

Most of us are weary of being outraged. We’re outraged at media obsession or, the other side of the coin, media neglect. We’re outraged that those in power never let a good crisis go to waste so they stoke the flames, lie even more, and promote an evil agenda.

And it isn’t enough to suggest that because we’re in the last of the last days that we have to sit and watch as tornadoes, floods, fires, droughts, and more, rip apart the lives of good people who just happened to be in their path. It’s too heartbreaking. On many days, we cannot echo the words of Job, “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him” because if God is all powerful, He would put a stop to the mayhem and wipe out the corrupt. (That happens, but later!)

Set aside the world for a minute and let’s consider the church. We’re outraged that people love false teachers and that they cannot see that they are false! We’re driven nuts by the death of discernment. We watch a lot of Christians today beat up on one another probably for their own personal gain. We’re sick of the religious Left deluding Christians to take their focus off of the gospel and onto global warming, immigration, and social justice. And we’re even more outraged when these Christian Leftists parade around as evangelicals, but then we’re saddened that the word evangelical has become so trashed.

My favorite political commentator, Erick Erickson, says, “I think the world is going to hell. But I believe in God the Father and in His son, Jesus Christ, and the Second Coming, and a judgment, and a final victory over death and sin and evil, and a life everlasting where I will walk one day beside my very real Creator. The rest? It’s rather small potatoes in the eternal scheme of things. God is permanent and politics and political coalitions are not.”

Erickson continues, “I get why so many on the secular left, who don’t believe in a Heaven or a Hell, get so upset about certain things and want to politicize everything. To them, this life is all there is and every advantage, in politics and culture, is fair game.”

He concludes, “The grand story is that there is good news available. God didn’t ignore the evil that the Fall produced by sin. He spoke by the entrance of His Son, Jesus, into the world (Hebrews 1:2). When Jesus cried those anguished three words on the cross, ‘It is finished,‘ it signaled the beginning of the end. The power of sin and death, which so strangles the human soul, which ravages the planet, which obscures the glory and grandeur of our great God — this has been defeated, and like a helium balloon, is dying a slow death.

“Evil, my friends, is not winning. The story of the Bible is that there is hope in the death, burial, and resurrection of the Perfect One, the Son of God.”

Thanks, Erick, for putting things into a proper perspective!

Yes, war is coming to the Middle East, the dollar will continue to melt, the economy will not recover, people will continue to let you down and betray you, selfishness will always be out of control, and everyone you know will tell big and little lies to cover up their basically rotten human nature. The very person you just put a trainload of trust in will make a whopper of a mistake and get away with it. The love of money will get even more out of control and mankind will continue to thump his chest and declare that he is the best at you-fill-in-the-blank.

Nothing in this world works very well. That’s by design.

That is why Paul exhorts us to forget the things behind us and to look forward to what lies ahead. He pressed on to win the goal of a Heavenly prize leaving behind all the earthly, broken systems. (Philippians 3:13-14)

Fear is a choice. Frustration is a choice. Trust is a choice. “Do not fear” is in the Bible 365 times.Is there a message there? It is an act of faith to look at this world and not fear. Not be anxious. Not be angry. Not be frustrated. Focusing on eternal things neutralizes the attitude and the angry juices in your gut telling you that you can’t stomach one more dilemma.

So, come quickly, Lord Jesus!

Nothing New Under the Sun

1 Comment / July 18, 2013 July 18, 2013

There are just a few short chapters that tell us about Noah in the Bible. Most of our attention has been focused on the building of the ark, the flood that wiped out life on the earth, and the beautiful rainbow that was the sign of a holy covenant. But yesterday as I sat through a dramatic presentation of this fascinating piece of history, I realized how very much we have in common with this man who lived so long ago. If Noah was human (and scripture assures us that he was), then it is very likely that he, too, struggled with some of the same things we do–

1. Doubt. It had never rained before. Noah and his family must have doubted a few times while they built a huge boat far from the sea, waiting for the rains to come. But God had told him and they were trusting. Like Noah, we are waiting for an event–the rapture–that has never happened before. But God has told us in His Word and we are trusting. It may not be in our lifetime, but then again, it may be!

2. Wickedness. Noah and his family were the only ones found righteous on the earth. They loved God and truly wanted to live by His statutes. Can you imagine? Sometimes we may feel like we are alone as we stand for righteousness and Truth in a world gone crazy. Although, while the number seems to be shrinking each day, we can be thankful that there are still many out there who love God and truly desire to live by His Word.

3. Mockery. I couldn’t find this in the scriptures, but I can’t help but wonder if as Noah and his family were busy building that boat they felt the mockery and hatred of others. It is just human nature to despise and make fun of anything that is different. Building a boat in your backyard is certainly different. These days we aren’t building a boat, but, instead standing against the flow of what is popular. It is not a very comfortable place to be, but I wonder if Noah felt that way sometimes, too?

4. Confirmation. Through the building of the ark and the subsequent flood waters, Noah must have seen God’s Hand work in amazing ways. Just the fact that he gathered wild animals and kept them in a big boat for many days would have required a miracle or two. These workings of God were perhaps assurance to Noah that he was doing the right thing. We have confirmations, too. God is truly personal and cares so much that He provides us with encouragement just when we need it. Oftentimes He teaches us a new truth from His Word, confirming that we are on the right path. How faithful is He!

5. Heartache. How great the heartache must have been to shut that ark door, knowing that all of humanity outside would perish. Have we ever thought of that before? They weren’t just all strangers to Noah and his family. I am sure there were many aunts, uncles, cousins, and other family members. The wives of Noah’s sons probably had parents and siblings. All would perish in the flood waters. Don’t you sometimes feel great sorrow at the many who are perishing today? We encourage them to come into the ark of safety through repentance and faith in Jesus Christ, but they have no interest. We experience that same heartache, as well.

It is not my intent to add any words to scripture. I just think that oftentimes we forget that these stories were true happenings to real people. They weren’t fairy tales. Old Testament men and women weren’t perfect. And many of them dealt with similar feelings and experiences that we are dealing with today. Somehow I find that comforting in this world where so much seems to be going wrong. And knowing that God is in control and has a plan that we can read in His Word is encouraging. Sure, just like Noah, we don’t know every detail. But we know we will be with God, just as Noah knew he and his family would be safe in the ark. We just need to trust that God will care for us through the storm of wickedness and evil that seems to be overtaking this nation, knowing we will land safely in Heaven eventually.

I thank God for showing us the examples of men and women who loved Him deeply and were willing to sacrifice whatever was necessary to serve Him. May we be like them, as we strive to please our King!

Lay aside every weight

Leave a Comment / July 11, 2013 February 16, 2018

I love the movie Up. It’s a movie for children but underneath all of the fun, comical nonsense there is a beautiful story that only adults understand.

The plot is about Carl, a grumpy elderly man. His wife has died and construction crews have come in to demolish his home so that they can put up a high rise. Life is looking pretty gloomy. He decides he is going to take the adventure he and his wife had always wanted to take together and heads off to South America by attaching a gazillion balloons to his house. But he doesn’t count on Russell, a young stowaway. Their adventures are unrealistic and very ridiculous, and yet, so touching.

I hadn’t watched it for a long time, but someone was watching it when when I came home the other night. I was compelled to sit down and watch a bit of it. At one point, Carl, has finally arrived at his destination. He is ready to rest. But Russell has it in his head that he needs to save a very special bird that is being stalked by a very evil man and he takes off by detaching quite a few of the balloons from the house. Carl rolls his eyes and knows he has to go after him. So he tries to leave. But his house has too much weight for the balloons that are left and it won’t lift off the ground.

And so Carl starts taking his stuff from his house and tossing it on the ground to lighten it up. I don’t know how they can make a cartoon show so much emotion, but somehow they manage to make you understand that Carl is making the choice to remove the fetters of his past and move on to a new future. He wasn’t erasing his memories but he was tossing the stuff that was keeping him so emotionally chained to the past.

And so out went his wife’s favorite chair and so many other material possessions that had brought him comfort, so that he could save the life of a small boy named Russell.

Wow. Did that scene hit me. Perhaps it is because of where I am at in life right now. In a lot of ways, I have been hanging on to stuff. A lot of it. While some of the stuff is material, most of it is mental. Life has really been changing for me over the past year or two and I see much more change ahead.

But I guess in a lot of ways, life is changing for all of us all the time. We have to always be very careful not to get too attached to the things of this world, whether they be material possessions, memories, or even people.

It reminds me of Hebrews 12:1.Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,

We can easily think of the sins that keep us from running a good race. But what are the weights we need to lay aside? I am no theologian, but could the weights be things like memories and longings for the past and perhaps even frustration at the life we have been given? These things keep us from running the best race we can run. Just like Carl could not move on to a healthy future with the weight of his past, neither can any of us.

The movie Up was able to convey that thought so beautifully. I don’t know what weights are holding you down. Life has a way of throwing us some serious curveballs sometimes. We can either accept them and move on or we can wallow in our longings for the way things were or the way we wish things to be. The choice is up to us. As for me, I realized I have some things I need to start tossing from my house, so to speak!

Wednesday Wisdom: From the Pen of a Fourteen Year Old

Leave a Comment / July 10, 2013 July 10, 2013

My youngest daughter and her cousin started a charity organization called Hearts4theWorld awhile ago. You can read about their organization over at Hearts4theWorld.net. They started off with a bang, but, as is often the case, are now struggling to keep the public’s interest. In her blog there, my daughter has expressed some of the feelings, frustration, and thoughts about the last few months. As I was proofreading it for her, her thoughts encouraged me. If we feel like we are definitely doing something the Lord wants us to do, we need to keep doing it until He makes it clear that we should stop. But sometimes that is hard and discouraging, as these two young girls are finding out. I am proud of the lesson my daughter is learning, written here by her, and believe her thoughts will encourage you, too–

Have you ever had that feeling where you wanted to do something important, something big? What did you do with it? Did you waste it? Did you start… And then when it got a little bit too hard, did you quit? Or did you follow through?

We had all these questions when we were thinking about starting Hearts4theWorld. We got the motivation to do something, something bigger than we had ever done before. But when we thought through it a little more, we realized that this might be a little harder than we thought. How would we send the Bibles where they need to go? Who would hand them out? How would we get our name out there? Would people even like our bottle cap creations? We had to think about all of these questions. We prayed a lot about everything, because we knew that we would get nowhere without God. God provided us with an awesome link in Haiti, and there began our mission. In the beginning, our friends and family bought from us and told their friends. We were so excited and everything was working out perfectly! But as time continued, business slowed down, likes on our page decreased, and views on our Etsy site got fewer and fewer. We were confused, we were disappointed, and weren’t sure what exactly went wrong. But we knew we couldn’t give up. We decided not to quit in the beginning and aren’t gonna even think about it now.

But, we have to admit, we did think it might be easier if we just took a “break” for a little while. But we knew that’s not what we should do. As people say “when the going gets tough, the tough get going”. We thought about other things we had done in life. Did we give up when something went wrong? Of course not! We kept on trying! So as we’re at this point, where we’re just not quite sure how to put our business out there for people to see and to like what they see. We decided not to give up, but to completely and totally lean on God. After all, He is the one who planted this idea and love for the world in our hearts. So He can do what He wants and in His own time! After all, patience is a virtue! ;) But that’s not to say that we’re just gonna stand back and say God run the business! No! Of course that’s not what we mean. We’re obviously going to keep trying new ideas, but we just want to put everything that we do in God’s hands and in His time.

So what does this mean for you in your life? Well the point we’re trying to get across is never give up. No matter if it’s a sport, an instrument, school or a mission like this! And if you have motivation to do something (If it’s motivation to do something good) then go for it! What do you have to lose? Maybe you’ll say “It’ll be embarrassing if it doesn’t work out” or “My friends wouldn’t think this would be cool”. Who cares?! All that really matters at the end of the day is did you do your best and do it for the glory of God? Now I’ll be honest, I was a little embarrassed at times because it’s not like there’s a lot of kids starting their own organizations or anything. But then I would think… What is our goal in life? Is it to fit in and be “cool” or is it to honor God in everything I do? You have to make that decision for yourself. But for us, the answer is clear. So we hope you think about what we’ve said and make your own decision to rely on God when your dream isn’t working out exactly as you had planned.

This blog post and others are found here.

Wednesday Wisdom: As Long As You Are Glorified

1 Comment / June 26, 2013 June 27, 2013

I stumbled upon this song quite by accident but it struck a chord within me. In a one-dimensional world of Christian music, mostly based only on ME, this song fell like refreshing rain as this turns our focus instead towards God and glorifying Him, no matter what befalls us. What is the purpose of trials, anyway? The line in the song says it best: “I long for nothing else, as long as YOU are glorified.” Comfort, convenience, pain-free, tear-free are all nice things to be but they are no guarantee when we walk with the Lord. This songs says it better than I ever could. (I have included a link after the lyrics, if you’d like to hear it)–

As Long As You Are Glorified

Shall I take from Your hand Your blessings
Yet not welcome any pain,
Shall I thank You for days of sunshine
Yet grumble in days of rain
Shall I love You in times of plenty
Then leave You in days of drought
Shall I trust when I reap a harvest
But when winter winds blow then doubt

Oh, let Your will be done in me
In Your love I will abide
Oh I long for nothing else as long
As You are glorified.

Are You good only when I prosper
And true only when I’m filled
Are you King only when I’m carefree
And God only when I’m well
You are good when I’m poor and needy
You are true when I’m parched and dry
You still reign in the deepest valley
You’re still God in the darkest night.

So quiet my restless heart!
Quiet my restless heart!
Quiet me restless heart in You.

You can listen to this song here.

Found Out a Little Too Late

2 Comments / June 20, 2013 June 20, 2013

It all started when I decided to start running again. I began getting severe pain in my left knee, but I figured it was just because I hadn’t run in awhile, so I pushed through it. But when the pain became excruciating, I decided to use the elliptical machine for a little while to try to settle it down a bit. About a week before my scheduled Color Run (the reason I started running again), I decided to finally go see the doctor.

He looked at it, poked and prodded a bit, and then put me on an anti-inflammatory, telling me to use it as much as I was able and to come back if it doesn’t get better.

Fast forward four weeks. I took the pills, ran only about a third of the 5K and walked the rest. And then I came home and limped around for awhile. But the more I used the knee the more excruciating the pain became until I was forced to return to the doctor. He scheduled an MRI, which I had done yesterday. I am now waiting for the official results.

So why do I tell you this? I assure you that it is not to garner your pity, concern, or prayers. It’s just a knee. I can still walk and do what I have to do. I am not dying.

But here’s the thing– every time I sit down, every time I get up, every time I move that left leg, every time I bend or lift or stand or walk, I feel pain.

And I realized something. I have had over 45 years of trouble-free knees that I took completely for granted. I never thought about how well they worked or how much my life would be affected if they don’t. All of a sudden, I am calculating just how much walking a trip to the mall will be or just how long I can work in the garden without completely debilitating myself. Almost everything is now done with that painful knee in mind.

Chicago sang a song in the 80s called “Hard Habit to Break.” In that song is this line:

You don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone, and I found out a little too late.

That’s just so true, isn’t it? This singer is singing this song about a relationship he lost with a special girl, but we could sing these lines about many valuable blessings in our lives that were never appreciated until they were lost, couldn’t we?

~Our babies and toddlers.

~Our youthful, wrinkle-free bodies

~Our good health

~The financial means to meet our needs and many of our wants

~A job

~Our parents

~Our siblings

~Our spouse

~Our vehicle, or refrigerator, or washing machine, or dishwasher

~Our cell phone

How many of these things have we ever said thank you for? How many of them have we lost and then went on to complain about? Whether it be the death of a loved one (a BIG deal) or a broken cell phone (so minor in the scope of life, it’s hardly even worth mentioning)?

To keep myself filled with a heart of a gratitude, I started a journal about six months ago. In it, I write three things for which I am thankful. I don’t write every day or even every other day. But a few times each month, I stop for a moment to truly ponder what I am thankful for and to give whole-hearted thanks to God.

Funny how my knees never made it in on that list. I guess I will be writing “working knees” the next time.

I want to appreciate what I have while I have it, instead of missing it and realizing a little too late just how incredibly much I had been blessed.

For the Graduating Seniors

2 Comments / June 3, 2013 May 31, 2017

One more child graduated from high school on Saturday. Three down –only one to go. Where in the world has the time gone? As I sat listening to the commencement speaker address the group of gifted kids that made up my daughter’s senior class, my mind started to wander (no reflection on the speaker–just on my easily distracted mind). What would I say if I had the opportunity to address these kids? Trust me, I am under no grand illusion that anyone will ever ask me to speak to a group of graduating seniors but it did make me wonder: What would I say to a group of kids ready to embrace life as an adult?

In some ways, it feels like just yesterday that I was the one hugging my friends, saying good-bye to favorite teachers, and smiling for the camera. But it wasn’t yesterday, it was a lifetime ago. And it is amazing what one learns in a lifetime. And so here it is in a nutshell–my commencement address to anyone who is finishing up an education, whether it be high school or college–

1. Develop a deep love for the Word of God. Let it function as your guide and help for the many tough decisions you will be facing. Make it your moral compass. Many has been the time that my husband and I have said to each other that we don’t know what we would do without the Bible. It truly is a source of comfort, strength, and guidance—like a solid rock amidst the crazy sea of life.

2. Who you marry matters–A LOT. It will make or break your life. Make a decision right now to only marry someone who not only says they are a believer, but actually lives like they are one. You will spare yourself much, much heartache in the long run. I have seen so many young people make the wrong assumption that the person they marry will eventually be saved or they will change that bad habit, but, while it does happen on occasion, it is much more likely that you will end up in a very difficult marriage. Choose wisely!

3. Make every decision with the desire to please the Lord. Whether it be the smallest thing (what movie am I going to see tonight?) or the largest (what career should I choose?), seek the Lord’s will. Rather than trying to gratify your temporal desires now, live with an eternal perspective. I’d like to say this gets easier as you get older, and while in some aspects it does, as long as we are on a fallen earth, this is difficult to do.

4. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Life has enough big stuff to work through without making the small stuff so significant. This one I have certainly learned (or shall I say continue to learn) firsthand. I have the personality that can get very easily distraught over something very trivial. It has taken many years –and still I sometimes catch myself doing it– to relinquish the worry and frustration over the stuff that just doesn’t matter in life. But I have learned that life is so much sweeter if you don’t let the small stuff get to you.

5. Feed your mind well. If you spend your nights watching mindless television shows that mock all things Christian, you will never grow as a believer. Do not accept the mindless entertainment of this culture but, instead, think deeply, and then teach that to your children. Choose a church that will help you to grow in your knowledge of biblical doctrine and in the application of God’s Word. And remember–just because something has a Christian label, doesn’t mean it is Christian. Do you remember that verse about Satan coming as an angel of light (2 Corinthians 11:14)? There are a lot of books, music, and other media that twist the truth just enough to be completely out of whack. Know the truth, so that you can spot the lies.

6. Whatever you do, do it well. Some of you know what path you are headed on and some of you are still trying to figure it out. As you choose to go a direction, sometimes God will close doors and make it clear He wants you somewhere else. But whatever job you happen to be in right now–wherever He leads you–do your work heartily, as unto the Lord and not to men (Colossians 3:23). This world desperately needs people with a good and honest work ethic. Be that kind of worker.

7. Feelings matter but the truth matters more. Be careful not to base your life on your feelings. This is especially hard in a culture where almost everything is based on feelings. You don’t feel like going to work? Just call in sick. You love that guy who doesn’t know the Lord? Just marry him. You don’t love that girl anymore? Just get divorced. You are depressed about having a baby? Just kill it. But God calls us to live righteously even when our feelings don’t agree. Your life will end up so much better –in the here and now and for eternity– if you follow this advice: Do what is right and don’t worry about your feelings.

8. Make people a priority. Material stuff is very enjoyable. I mean who doesn’t like a cool car or a new iPhone? But keep people more important than your stuff. Don’t get so wrapped up in texting or the world online that you miss the potential relationships right in front of you.

9. And, finally, stay humble enough to learn from those who have gone before you. Learning from the elderly is not “cool” in our culture. Youth, and all things young, are what it’s all about. But you will spare yourself much heartache if you take the time to ask godly men and women questions and then listen to their answers. Sure some of us older people can be downright irritating–we know it, too–but that is because we love you so much. Give us a break and don’t write us off completely because we have learned a lot and we would love to share it (at least most of us).

I know I will never have the opportunity to share this in front of a group of graduating seniors, but this is what I would say. I don’t mean any offense to the educational gurus out there, but let’s face it, by the time you are 35 or 40, no one cares where you went to school. In fact, they don’t even really care if you went to school. But they do see how you are living your life. Live a life dedicated to Jesus Christ and by doing so, go out and make a difference for Him. Live with conviction and integrity so that you will shine like a bright light in the midst of a very dark world. After all, that is what really matters.