growing in christ

Keeping My Eye on Polaris

2 Comments / December 3, 2012

Polaris is the North Star. It has been incredibly helpful through the ages because it doesn’t move. While the rest of the northern sky is filled with stars that move constantly, Polaris is consistently in the same place. Through the centuries, sailors and travelers of all kinds would use this star to find their way home.

Did you know we Christians have our own “North Star”? It is the Word of God. People change, cultures change, but the Word of God is always the same, providing us desperately needed direction in a world full of moving morals and vacillating values.

Sometimes, I just can’t believe how different my world is than when I grew up. Oh, not so much the worldly world–that’s always been bad, but I am referring to the Christian world. Christianity today has become much more about what makes me happy than what makes God happy. It amazes me what has become the norm in the church today.  There is blanket permission on sin of almost every sort within the church.  Gambling and cursing aren’t only allowed, they are actually promoted by some pastors. And I am amazed at the violent and sex-filled DVDs that fill the shelves of Christians.  Be gay, have an abortion, get divorced. Do what you need to do to make you happy. And it is all okay.

But the Word of God tells us it is not okay. The Word of God still says that we are to put good things before our eyes (Psalm 101:3), to be good stewards (Matthew 25:19-29), to value children (Matthew 18:6; Psalm 139:13-16),  to stay married, if at all possible (Matthew 19), and that homosexuality is not normal (Romans 1:26-27). We are still to keep our Christian brothers from stumbling (I Corinthians 8:9-13) and to please God by living a pure and holy life (I Peter 1:13-16), separate from the world (James 1:27). Yes, we are to be in the world to share the good news, but we are not to be part of the world.  In fact, John 15:18-25 tells us in no uncertain terms that we should quite expect to be hated by the world.

This hasn’t changed through the ages, no matter what the modern day church is telling us.

I remember seeing John MacArthur on Larry King Live after 911, the terrible tragedy of 2001.  While the New Ager and the Muslim and the Jewish rabbi kept giving their “learned opinions”, John did one thing and one thing only. He humbly pointed people to what the Word of God says.  You see, it doesn’t really matter what you and I think. It only matters what the Bible says. And, contrary to modern day opinion, the interpretation does not lay in a puddle of ambiguity and uncertainty. But that’s a topic for another day.

And so I am so very thankful for God’s Word. It has and will continue to be my North Star in a world full of chaos, hypocrisy, and deception. It is the only thing that truly remains consistent. And I thank God for His foreknowledge and wisdom in providing the Bible for us. He knew we would need it!

Read more about Polaris here. It’s actually quite interesting!

How do we keep love from fading?

Leave a Comment / June 26, 2013

We met the man and his family while they were going through a personal tragedy. His wife had just had a miscarriage in the last couple of days and it was a rough time. They already had a couple of young children and seemed like a very nice Christian family with whom we could enjoy a friendship. Alas, circumstances often dictate who you truly get to know in life and so we were never able to develop a relationship with them.

Fast forward a couple of years.

Eric is giving an estimate to a lady who has a lot of time to talk. She tells him about the couple across the street who are going through a nasty divorce. Words like prostitution and pornography come up.  Eric tries to be polite but he is really there to give an estimate. But the more she talks, the more he starts to suspect that he may know who this couple is.

When Eric arrived home we did a little investigating. Oh, how sad. The couple getting the nasty divorce is the couple we met a few years earlier. Our hearts ached for them. What in the world had happened?

This story is not a strange one to any of us. All too frequently, a husband or wife is trapped in sexual sin, marriages break up, and life changes drastically for the entire family.

But why? How does this happen?

I do not even begin to presume I have the answer to this. But I can think of a few ways to protect ourselves from being “that” couple. Of course, you are only one half of the equation, so that is what makes it tricky, isn’t it?? But, for what it’s worth, here are a few suggestions–

1.  Get to know God by faithfully reading His Word, praying, and listening to godly {doctrinally-sound} men expound His word via church and podcast. How can we even know what pleases God if we don’t know His Word? Conviction can be conveniently bypassed if we aren’t in tune with God.

2.  Talk, talk, and talk some more with your spouse. No secrets.  Keep communicating even when it is really hard. And, trust me, it is really hard sometimes.

3.  Forgive and move on. I know it sounds so basic, but it is so critical. Forgiveness holds the key to many of our relationships, quite honestly.

4.  Protect your spouse. Don’t downgrade your spouse to your co-workers or on the sidelines of the soccer field. Sure he may be a jerk or she may be lazy, but that doesn’t give us the right to talk negatively about them. If you are really struggling, pick one or two godly counselors or friends who can encourage you to make biblical choices and keep your mouth shut around everyone else.

5.  Be the same person at home as you are at church.  Who are we really?  You have heard it said that true character is who you are when no one is around. There is a lot of truth in that.  Do you make the choice to do what’s right even when no one is looking?  We need to be same person no matter where we are. By the way, this is key in keeping your children’s hearts, as well. No one respects a hypocrite.

6.  Don’t be too proud to ask for help. Sometimes the problems are so big, you know that your marriage will not survive without some help. Be very careful to choose a godly counselor. I heard a story many years ago of a couple who went for Christian marriage counseling and a few sessions in they were told they should get a divorce. Come again?  That is not Christian marriage counseling.  Just because someone says they are a Christian counselor doesn’t mean they are. Get references and mission statements before entrusting your entire life in their hands.

7.  And, last but not least, have fun together!  Nothing is better for Eric and I than doing something fun and outside routine together. It is a great reminder of why we fell in love in the first place.  I know how tough it is to make time for this. Our schedules are so busy with soccer games and piano lessons and homework and church commitments and work functions and…the list could go on and on. However, it is critical that we make this a priority. It helps us stay connected as married couples.

These are seven tips, but I am not so naive to think that it is that simple. I know that so many struggles and problems that arise in marriages stem back to childhood issues never resolved or affairs never discussed. There are many cases of abuse and pride and addictions. Christian marriages are facing an explosion of darts from the enemy. However, I do believe that if we could put these seven tips in place in our own marriages, we’d have a new beginning on a great marriage! And we know, without a shadow of a doubt, that it is God’s will for us to love each other and stay married ’til death do us part.

As much as it is up to us personally, let’s keep our marriages strong and healthy.

 

This is linked up here :)

Wednesday Wisdom: The Power of a Habit

Leave a Comment / November 28, 2012

I am your constant companion.
I am your greatest helper or your heaviest burden.
I will push you onward or drag you down to failure.
I am completely at your command.
Half the things you do, you might just as well turn over to me,
and I will be able to do them quickly and correctly.
I am easily managed; you must merely be firm with me.
Show me exactly how you want something done, and after a few lessons I will do it automatically.

I am the servant of all great men.
And, alas, of all failures as well.
Those who are great, I have made great.
Those who are failures, I have made failures.
I am not a machine, though I work with all the precision of a machine.
Plus, the intelligence of a man.
You may run me for profit, or run me for ruin; it makes no difference to me.
Take me, train me, be firm with me and I will put the world at your feet.
Be easy with me, and I will destroy you.
Who am I?

I am a HABIT!

I could not find the author of this profound bit of writing, but when I heard it the other day it struck a chord with me. How many consequences could we avoid by simply changing a habit?  It is so simple, but yet it is so difficult. I can think of several small habits that, if I could change them, would yield tremendous rewards in my life. How about you? 

 

Loving the Unlovely

8 Comments / July 20, 2023

The little girl’s eyes searched the faces of the waiting adults. She made a move towards me and then saw my young, beautiful daughter standing behind me.  Her eyes lit up and she made a beeline for her.  I watched several girls come out and do the same thing–always moving towards the young, beautiful girls in our group and always passing me by.

We were in Guatemala and we were ministering to orphans. I didn’t think they would care how I looked.  But, of course, while they loved any attention they received from anyone, the young and pretty girls were a definite favorite among the little girls there.

I don’t blame them, quite honestly. I would rather hold the hand of one of them, too, if I was a child.  But I have to admit, I felt hurt and rejected. Oh, I know they didn’t mean it intentionally. Not even a bit. But it hurt, nevertheless.

Thankfully, my daughter had been looking most forward to spending time holding the babies and so I spent most of my time in the baby house cradling little ones and playing with 2 year olds, who really don’t care what you look like as long as you are fun!

But what had happened to me with the little girls got me to thinking about the people that it happens to all of the time. The disabled, the ones that make us feel uncomfortable, the unlovely ones. Do they grow used to being passed by? Does it still hurt after it happens so often?

In the baby house where we spent most of our time, they have a few special needs kids. For the first few days, I felt uncomfortable and avoided all of them. But as I watched a lady from our team love on one of these little guys, I grew braver. What could it hurt to talk to them? The turning point came when I watched one of the “special moms” (this is what the caregivers are called) play peek-a-boo with a severely disabled 15 year-old boy named Alex.  I watched his eyes light up as a big smile came over his face. And I realized that locked inside that boy was a real live person.  He would laugh and tease his “special mom” by moving his head so that she would have to lift it up again. All the while, I could see by his expression that he was having a ball.

I reflected back on what had happened to me earlier that week. How was I any different than those little girls? I would make a beeline for the beautiful babies and the cute toddlers, barely glancing towards the special needs kids.

But I was given a gift that day. An important reminder of something we should never forget: every person has value, no matter what they look like or how unlovely (inside or out) they are.  It is our job to love them, just like Jesus loves us.

After that day, I would always spend a little time with those three special needs boys. Oh, I was still a little uncomfortable– that did not just disappear–but I did it, anyway.  And, little by little, it grew more natural for me to give a big smile and say hello.

I guess it will always be our human nature to run towards the lovely. But, while we are running, may we not forget that there is a person with feelings who knows we didn’t choose them…who stands there forlorn and broken as they get passed by one more time.

John 13:34 A new commandment I give you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you are to love one another. 

John 13:35 By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another. 

John 15:12 This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. 

John 15:17 These things I command you, so that you will love one another.

A choice we can’t afford NOT to make

Leave a Comment / November 21, 2012

We all have many choices in life. What shall I do with my life? Where should I send my child to school? Who should I marry? Should I buy this car? Life is filled with so many choices, it can be mind-boggling sometimes. Recently, our Bible Study started a book called Choosing Gratitude by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. So, gratitude is a choice, too. Hmmm…I am not sure I like the sound of that! However, it is clear if we make a choice to be thankful, complaints and discouragement disappear and joy and peace come instead. It would appear that gratitude is a choice we can’t afford NOT to make! Perhaps this idea of being thankful is a bigger deal than we realized. It seemed, being it is Thanksgiving eve, very appropriate to share a few thought-provoking paragraphs from this book today–

 Over the years, I have sought to make gratitude a way of life. And I have experienced many of the blessings that accompany the “attitude of gratitude.”

However, I’ve seen that if I am not ceaselessly vigilant about rejecting ingratitude and choosing gratitude, I all-too-easily get sucked into the undertow of life in a fallen world. I start focusing on what I don’t have that I want, or what I want that I don’t have. My life starts to feel hard, wearisome, and overwhelming.

At times, in the course of writing this book, I have allowed myself to get pulled back into that dangerous current. I have seen how a lack of gratifude manifests itself in fretting, complaining, and resenting–whether within the confines of my own thoughts or, worse yet, through venting those thoughts to others.

But in those moments when I have found myself gasping for air, feeling that I was going under, I’ve discovered that gratitude truly is my life preserver. Even in the most turbulent waters, choosing gratitude rescues me from myself and my runaway emotions. It buoys me on the grace of God and keeps me from drowning in what otherwise would be my natural bent toward doubt, negativity, discouragement, and anxiety.

Over time, choosing gratitude means choosing joy. But that choice doesn’t come without effort and intentionality. It’s a choice that requires constantly renewing my mind with the truth of God’s Word, setting my heart to savor God and His gifts, and disciplining my tongue to speak words that reflect His goodness and grace –until a grateful spirit becomes my reflexive response to all of life.

From Choosing Gratitude by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. You can find it on Amazon here.

Eating the Tostada

Leave a Comment / November 19, 2012

As you probably already know, I just recently got back from Guatemala. We had a wonderful time, but it was also a time of stepping out of my comfort zone in many ways. While I may appear adventurous for even going to some of you, I realized just how fearful I really am. It has to do with a tostada and the courage it took for me to eat it.

It was Sunday night. We had just spent a fascinating afternoon and evening with the families of the mountainside ghetto. I had been impressed with the Guatemalans and their incredible neatness despite their poverty-stricken conditions. They obviously worked hard and made use of what they had in creative ways. Their faces showed a warm welcome for the “gringos” that had come for a visit.

We had delivered some food and supplies to four families that were in desperate need and in each home we had heard each family’s story. Their stories were filled with things like not being able to find work and mud slides taking some of their homes with them. And yet, they smiled. Their pride and gracious hospitality in the midst of such dearth was a wonderful sight to see.

After we had climbed up and down the concrete pathways and steep steps, we had ended up at the bottom of the mountain side for a soccer game (gringos against the Guatemalans – who do you think won??) and two big candy-filled pinatas for the kids. We tried to talk to the people around us as best we could. I uttered short phrases like “¿Como se llama?” (what’s your name?) and  “¿Cuantos anos?” (How old are you?) Not speaking the language was a considerable detriment and I found myself wishing that I had worked harder at re-learning the Spanish language before going.

As we sat and watched the soccer game, a young lady brought us tostadas covered with something that looked like guacamole. Now I am fairly adventurous, but eating something that comes from a ghetto where I don’t think hygiene is all that important is WAY outside my comfort zone, so I said a polite “No gracias”. She smiled at me and walked on. But a few minutes later, one of my team members said that our Guatemalan team leader had said we should never turn down anything they offer, as it is considered very rude in their culture.

I had a quick conversation in my mind with myself. Should I? Shouldn’t I? I thought of the travel magazines I read that highly recommend some of the street stands around the world for some of the best ethnic food. Surely, this couldn’t be a whole lot worse than a street stand? I didn’t want to end up sick, but on the other hand, I didn’t want to offend the woman who kindly offered it to me. I was aware of the sacrifice it took to even offer us gringos food. And, let’s be honest, when would I ever have the chance to eat a guacamole covered tostada in a Guatemalan ghetto ever again? And so I put my doubts aside and I bit into one of the most delicious things I have ever tasted. I don’t even like guacamole – at all. But this guacamole was absolutely wonderful.  I ate it with relish.

And, surprisingly enough, no one got sick from the guacamole covered tostadas. Afterwards, as I shared my doubts with our leader, he assured us that he would not allow us to be offered anything that is not safe. I did feel better upon hearing that, but to tell you the truth, I felt so gratified that I had conquered my fear and stepped out in faith to eat something that I normally would not have touched.

Perhaps this happens in our lives in so many more ways than eating a strange food in the midst of a ghetto. Why do we so often let fear keep us from being our best selves?  Why are we so scared to try something new or different–something that may really enrich our lives or, even more importantly, help us to become more like Christ? So often we hang in our comfortable zone, keeping our distance from anything that looks slightly threatening or out of our routine.

Eating the tostada may not seem like a big deal at all for some of you, but, for me, it was a step of faith. Sure, it was just a little thing, but sometimes we grow in our faith by conquering small fears before we can take on larger ones. Fear can quickly strangle us from living life in the most fulfilling way that God would have for us. It is so important that we don’t let it hinder us from doing God’s will and enjoying the blessings that so often come with that choice!

a few favorite posts–

2 Comments / November 9, 2012

Well, I am all packed for my mission trip to Guatemala and have a few extra minutes. So I thought I would share a few of my favorite posts from the first year I started blogging. While I am away next week, I hope you enjoy reading these–

Why I Still Dress Up for Church

Playing in the Mud

SVL

The BIG Lie

Life Lessons I Learned at a Business Conference

 

Happy Reading! :)

 

 

 

 

God’s Amazing Ways

15 Comments / November 8, 2012
Guatemala City, Guatemala

Tomorrow, my 17 year old daughter and I plan to leave for Guatemala to minister at an orphanage called Dorie’s Promise, run by Forever Changed International. I have taken a few mission trips before, but always with a team. This time I connected with an orphanage down in Guatemala City and made the decision for us to go down alone.

After making that decision, I felt great trepidation in my heart. I had found the orphanage on the internet. How could I even know it was legit? I actually considered canceling. But I had had a few conversations over the phone with the woman who had started the orphanage. I had been impressed.  So we continued on with our plans, although I was still fearful.

But then God stepped in, like He so often does.  Any given week, teams from all over the country go to this orphanage to minister.  Incredibly, the week we are going is the same week a team is going from a church that is only an hour away from us!  The team could have been from Houston or Seattle or Denver, but no, God in His graciousness put us with a team that is only an hour away from us.  And so we got in touch with the leader who not only is going the same week, but has already been to the orphanage. We met for dinner and she filled us with enthusiasm for the upcoming trip. She had nothing but good to say about the orphanage.

I was thrilled and much relieved, to be honest.

Interestingly enough, the other thing that I was feeling extremely fearful about was going to an international airport alone. Our experience in the Port Au Prince airport last summer was absolutely frightening to us country bumpkins and I was terrified of a similar experience. Especially given that our men would not be there to protect us!

But God even stepped in there. The church team is actually taking the same flight from Houston as we are. Lord-willing, we will join the team in Houston to take the international flight. Isn’t God amazing to work out even the smallest details to comfort us?

And, so, it is with great anticipation that we look forward to our trip tomorrow. But it isn’t completely without fear. For my daughter and me to go so far away alone is a bit scary for me, if I am honest. And I never like being away from my family and so that part will be rather difficult, as well.

But then I think of Amy Carmichael, who left her safe and pleasant home in London to be a missionary, not for a week, but for a lifetime. Amy, who didn’t have comfortable (and speedy) airplanes to travel in, but instead crossed the ocean in a ship– a trip that took months and which often brought on terrible seasickness. And I read of the amazing ways God took care of her.

Ah, I am so pampered. It makes me feel weak and ridiculous.  If Amy and I serve the same God, what should I fear?

With that said, I would covet your prayers this upcoming week.  Pray not only for our health and safety, but please pray that we would be given opportunities to share the Gospel. For why feed their bellies, if we can’t feed their souls?  Thank you so much for praying.

P.S. I don’t know if I’ll be able to make any posts on the blog next week, but I do plan to post photos and prayer requests on my Growing4Life facebook page, which you can “like” up in the right hand corner of this page.

 

Where are we placing our trust?

4 Comments / November 5, 2012

This week is going to be very indicative of the direction the majority of Americans want to take this country.  They will show this by voting for one of two very different men. Will we move towards Socialism or will we continue in the tradition of Capitalism? It is of huge concern to many and there is a tremendous divide between the two camps.  The question hangs in the air today: which direction will it be?

As I wait with nervous anticipation the outcome of Tuesday’s results – the 2012 United States presidential election – I  have to ask myself the question: Where am I placing my trust?

Is it in the man who runs this great land? Is it in the system of Democracy? Is it in the judicial system or in Congress?

Or is it in Someone who is so much greater than any of these?

When I stop and turn my eyes to the Word of God, I find there that God is the maker of the earth and heavens (Genesis 1:1).  He is the One who controls the comings and goings of Kings and Presidents (Daniel 2:21).  God watches over even the lilies of the fields and the tiniest sparrows (Matthew 6:25-30).

This would lead me to believe that God knows exactly what is going on in this country. He is not unaware of our concerns and fears. Isn’t that a comfort? I know it is for me. You see, if we aren’t careful we can find ourselves all upset about something over which we have very little control.  But what does that reaction show the world?

I would submit that it shows them that really, when it comes down to the nuts and bolts of living, we don’t quite trust God to know best.

Of course, we don’t always understand. Of course, it doesn’t always look best to us. But there is a huge tapestry that encompasses all of history. We are but a small part. We can’t see the whole thing.

As I write this, I feel like I am just writing clichès — the stuff we have all heard a million times. But does that make it any less true?

Perhaps we need to be reminded that God holds Tuesday’s outcome in His hand, no matter what it is.  Yes, we need to vote. Yes, we need to pray. But, after we have done all we can do, then we need to trust.  Let’s show the world that our trust in God is greater than our fear of man.  We know personally the One who controls the universe and nothing should make us waver!

Will you join me in showing the world that our hope is in the Lord?

Mirror, Mirror on the wall…will you just tell me the truth?

Leave a Comment / November 1, 2012

So the other night, Eric and I joined the girls for some X-Box Kinect “quality bonding time”.  One of the girls thought it would be funny to video us with her iphone. And, let me tell you–it was funny. It was hilarious!  I looked ridiculous. We all laughed and it was all great fun. But when it was all over, there was one thing that nagged at me.

Why didn’t I look that fat when I looked in the mirror? When I get dressed in the morning, I often take a long look at myself. From the front…now turn to the side…and finally over my shoulder at the back.  And I will finally come to the conclusion that it’s not too bad. I mean I know I am a little overweight, but it could be worse, right? But let me tell you, that video didn’t lie. I was so mad at myself for believing the lie in the mirror.

Is it just me that wonders why the mirror shows a skinnier me than videos and pictures do? I think it’s really strange. But then I wondered– perhaps the same thing is going on in the rest of my life?

You see, when we look in a mirror, we often see what we want to see. We can rationalize and ignore and talk ourselves into almost anything. But when someone else comes and takes a “picture” of us–well, that is when we see the ugly truth.

Has that ever happened to you?  I know it has to me. I will be rolling along, looking pretty good to myself in my spiritual mirror. And then, quite suddenly, my husband or my children will show me my true self, either by lovingly confronting me or, more often, by getting in my {selfish} way.  Or perhaps someone will need something that I could sacrificially give and I am confronted squarely in the face with what I truly look like when it comes to care and compassion.  And then I see my true self– the one that still has so far to go.

And while I don’t usually like it, I find that, if I can put off my initial defensive response and really think about what I see, it is then that God grows and changes me. But if I just get mad and walk away…if I think that everybody else’s “picture” of who I am isn’t who I truly am…well, that is when I stay the same old me.

It is hard to hear criticism or to come face to face with areas that need change. Many times we ignore what we see. Or we rationalize our behavior: “It’s just my personality.” And, often, our initial response to someone who is lovingly confronting us is to turn the attack on the person talking to us.  “Well you do _______, so what gives you the right to judge me?”

I know all this, because I have done it.  But when I respond that way, I also know I am missing out on the blessing of God showing me the areas I need to grow.

I would like to change that picture on the video my daughter took, but I can’t. I will never like what I look like in that video. But guess what? There is the possibility to change future pictures.  But only if I face the truth.

Let’s learn to love the truth. Not only when it comes to Bible doctrine and theology, but also when it comes to ourselves. It is only when we see ourselves as we truly are that we can start becoming who we are supposed to be.

 

James 4:10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.

Proverbs 27:6-7 Open rebuke is better than love carefully concealed. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.

 

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