Encouragement

The Pitfalls of Living by Feeling

Leave a Comment / October 31, 2014

The following is written by Erwin Lutzer. If you are struggling with loving someone, forgiving someone, or a bad habit you just can’t seem to kick, this is well-worth your time–

Before I suggest how you can cope with your emotions, I want you to consider what happens when you live by the dictates of your own hunches and whims. A life based on desires is an invitation to the sin of disobedience. Often our feelings run counter to what God requires. In fact, most sinful habits are developed by simply following the path of least resistance, by doing whatever we feel like doing. Many of our struggles can be traced to sensuality, and by that I mean being controlled by our physical senses. This spawns defeat, self-absorption, and unbelief. Many people who think they cannot obey God’s commandments simply don’t feel like obeying. Occasionally they have days when they wake up wanting to do what God requires— but not often. Our fallen human nature never feels like obeying God; usually it wants to do its own thing. This attitude comes from Satan as he suggests to us— as he did to Eve— that God has asked us to obey commands that we cannot or need not keep. If we think we can’t obey God until we feel like it, we will never get off the ground in our spiritual lives.

Let’s be specific. In his book on overcoming difficulties in marriage, Jay Adams writes of a particular counseling situation in which all love had been drained from the marriage and the partners had already agreed to a divorce. Neither one had committed a serious sin against the marriage. They just didn’t feel in love anymore. They went to the counselor hoping he would confirm their decision that since there was no feeling left, they should divorce. The couple was shocked to find the counselor saying, “If you don’t love each other, there is only one thing to do: You will have to learn to love one another.” The couple was incredulous. “How can you learn to love someone? You can’t produce feelings out of thin air!” The counselor explained that in the Bible, God commands us to love one another. When the husband was told that he should love his wife as Christ loved the church, he gasped. He could never do that. But the counselor persisted. He explained that the husband should begin on a lesser level. The Bible also commands us to love our neighbor, and since his wife is his closest neighbor, he should love her. But even so, the husband rejected the idea that he could love his wife that way. Then the counselor explained that he was still not off the hook, for God had commanded us to love even our enemies! This couple had made a common error; they had equated love with feelings. In the Bible, love is not a feeling. We can learn to love, even though we begin with little or no emotional impetus. In other words, we can choose to love. And God gives us the grace to do so.

Love is not an emotion; neither is forgiveness. The Bible commands us to put away all bitterness (Eph. 4: 31); we are to forgive others whether they solicit our forgiveness or not (v. 32). Yet many Christians believe that they can’t forgive until they feel like it! They think that if they forgive when they don’t feel like it, they are hypocritical. However, if forgiveness were an emotion, God would be commanding us to do the impossible. We cannot switch our emotions on and off. We cannot develop the right feelings on our own. But God is not mocking us when He tells us to forgive; we can choose to do so, whether we feel like it or not. Never try to skirt God’s commands under the pretense that you don’t feel like obeying Him. A second danger of living by feelings is that you may tend to derive your doctrine from feelings. If you believe God is with you just because “He feels so close,” you will also believe there are days when He forsakes you because “He feels so far away.” The assurance of God’s presence does not come by feelings, but by faith (Heb. 13: 5). Fortunately, you don’t always have to feel God’s presence to be in fellowship with Him and to make spiritual progress.

Lutzer, Erwin W. (2010-01-01). Getting to No: How to Break a Stubborn Habit (p. 104). David C Cook. Kindle Edition.

 

 

Dealing with Difficult People: Part 2

Leave a Comment / October 30, 2014

difficult people

Difficult people. We all have them in our lives. How do we wrestle with impossible, unpleasant situations over which we have no control? How do we work through the anger and the frustration and the hopelessness when someone keeps hurting us–over and over again. I have really been thinking about this a lot lately.

If you are a regular reader, you may remember Part 1. You can read it here. If you haven’t read it, I suggest you do. What I wrote there truly revolutionized how I view difficult people in my life. It was written a  few months ago and it was never intended to have a Part 2. However, God has led me to think further about this topic that is so painful and affects so many people. This is my first paragraph from Part 1–

Have you ever had to deal with someone you just couldn’t make happy? Or perhaps it is someone who lies constantly, is consistently unkind, or very angry? Or maybe they just absolutely exhaust you by telling you all of their woes? Sometimes, if they are friends, we can gently extricate ourselves from these relationships. But, many times, we can’t. We may go to church together. Or we may work together. More often than not, our difficult relationships are within our own families.

If you can relate to this, then I think you will find this post helpful. I would like to share some specific steps we can take to work through a never-ending and seemingly hopeless situation. Notice I did not say “easy” steps. But we need to remember that oftentimes the hardest steps yield the greatest rewards. And if you can take these steps–one slow step at a time– I promise that the bitterness that is welling inside you will dissipate and you will grow stronger spiritually. I can promise you this because these steps are straight from scripture.

1. Submit to God’s sovereignty in your life. This is the first step we need to take in any difficult and troubled situation. It is how we need to view any frustrating and annoying person we come across. We can never change someone else, so we need to instead turn our eyes to God and recognize that He has allowed this person or situation in our life for a reason. It is probably to help us grow more like Christ. We can shake our fist at God and rail that it isn’t fair or we can submit humbly and ask God what He wants to teach us through this. Both attitudes have consequences. If we choose to be angry, then we will grow hard and bitter. If we choose to submit, we will be filled with the peace that passeth understanding. It is our choice. Of course, Romans 8:28-30 is perfect for this idea of God’s Sovereignty but also check out Philippians 1:6 and Romans 5:1-5.

2. Love and forgive the other person(s). So, I know this one is a whole lot easier to write than it is to do. But I didn’t come up with this one on my own. This comes straight from the pages of scripture. Check out Matthew 5:44-48 and Luke 6:27. And then turn to Matthew 6:14-15 and Ephesians 4:31-32. There are many more. I just picked a couple. It would seem that loving our enemies and forgiving them are a pretty big part of a genuine Christian faith. We don’t have a choice here.

So how do we do this? I am going to share something that has helped me tremendously. When I am at the end of myself and have no love to offer or forgiveness to extend, I ask the Lord to fill me with His love and forgiveness for that person. And He answers that prayer! You see, sometimes we are humanly incapable of giving that love and forgiveness. But God is all-powerful and He has provided the Holy Spirit to guide and strengthen us. He will help us. Keep in mind that this is not a once and done thing. It is often a prayer that we need to pray for weeks, months, or even years. But don’t stop asking. And He won’t stop answering.

3. Surround yourself with godly people who will build you up. When we are struggling and suffering, it’s important we don’t fall prey to the very human temptation to hang out with those who will help us point a finger of blame, talk unkindly about the other person, and excuse our sinful attitudes. Instead, surround yourself with friends who will encourage you to respond correctly and biblically. Look up Proverbs 27:5-6 and Proverbs 13:20.

Again, not easy. I know when I am really upset, the last thing I want is someone telling me what the Bible says. And, look, I’m not talking about one of those friends who annoyingly always seems to have the answer and is quite arrogant in the way they give it to you. With friends like that who needs enemies?? No, I am talking about a true and wise friend who will listen and empathize, pray with you and for you, and will lovingly challenge your sinful attitudes.

4. Don’t allow Satan to get a foothold in your life because of this situation. This is best done by controlling our thought life! When we feel our thoughts spiraling out of control, we need to consciously choose to think about something else. We need to carefully refuse to let our thoughts take us down to that dark pit where we feel hopeless and full of despair. We need to very purposefully turn away from the angry and bitter thoughts that can so easily consume us. Honestly, this takes work and a lot of prayer but it does get easier! Check out Ephesians 4:26-27 and 2 Timothy 2:22-26.

5. Be thankful. This can be tough. These situations can utterly and completely take over our lives. So grab yourself an empty notebook and start a thankful journal. You will be shocked at how much you have for which to be truly thankful. God has blessed all of us in a myriad of ways. Start writing it down and see how this little exercise in gratitude helps to move your focus from your woes to your blessings. I Thessalonians 5:18 and Ephesians 5:20 are just two of many verses in scripture about gratitude.

I hope these steps help you. It won’t be instant and it won’t be easy, but if you can follow them, I truly believe God will work in your heart and your life to grow you tremendously through this trial. An added bonus will be the ability to become that friend who can help others when you get to the other side of this trial. You will really be able to understand the challenges faced by someone going through a similar situation and will be able to be used by God in a mighty way– if you choose to submit instead of shaking your fist. If you choose to be thankful instead of bitter. If you choose to grow instead of staying stuck in the mud.

Victory can be yours! This is not a hopeless situation! But, as always, the choice lies with you. No one else can make it for you. No, you can’t change the other person, but you can take steps to work on your own heart. If we choose to submit and obey, blessing will surely follow!

 

 

Would You Be Convicted?

Leave a Comment / October 27, 2014

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Have you ever had one of those conversations with a fellow believer about someone else’s salvation?

“Are they a Christian?” we ask.

And then we will say things like “Well, he goes to church” or “She said a prayer when she was a young girl.”

And then it will be followed by a “But he has never really shown any fruit” or “Her life has never really changed at all.

Can I just say: I never want to be that person. I never want people to wonder whether or not I am a true believer. I never want anyone to say they never saw any fruit in my life. I will never be perfect this side of heaven–a sad, but altogether true, fact–but I want to be moving the right direction and I want it to be obvious to all people I meet– and perhaps even more obvious to the people I live with (that know me best)– that I am, first and foremost, a disciple of Jesus Christ.

I recently had a conversation with a friend who told me about an exercise a special speaker had with a group of Christian youth. This speaker had brought up one of their teachers and asked the students to present evidence that would indicate that this teacher was godly. The students, and even some adults,  were able to present lots of fruit that showed that this teacher was following Jesus whole-heartedly.

And so we have to ask ourselves–does the fruit that is evident in my life show people that I am saved? Or does it cause people to wonder if I am saved?

And, look, let’s get beyond the basics that so many of us Christians are so good at– going to church faithfully and owning a Bible or two. Let’s dig deeper.

Using Galatians 5:19-23 as our guide, here are a couple of questions to determine how much fruit is on our life’s tree–

~How often do you get angry–really angry?

~Are you completely honest on your tax return or with your boss at work?

~Do you regularly fill your mind with thoughts of fornication, adultery, violence, and bad language through the TV shows and movies you watch, the music you listen to, and the games you play, even though God expressly forbids these things and calls them sin?

~Do you relish talking about others?

~Are you depressed or sad all the time?

~Is self-control evident in how you deal with finances, eating, and how you spend your time?

~Do you enjoy a good party and see no harm in getting drunk once in awhile?

~Do you think a little witchcraft never hurt anyone and have no problem bringing something that deals with the supernatural into your home– considering it all just good fun?

~Are you faithful to your spouse, not only in the typical sense, but also in what you say about him or her to others?

~Are you so focused on your own ambitions that people know they’d better stay out of your way? Whether it’s as small as picking a restaurant or as big as choosing a career– does your family feel like you always have to win? Do you ever concede your own personal preference just for the sake of others?

~Do you worry about the future so much that it steals joy from the present moment? Do you struggle with anxiety?

These are all really difficult questions, aren’t they? And, quite naturally, our first inclination is to think about someone else who seems to have no fruit instead of taking a long, hard look at ourselves. But let’s stop looking around for just a moment and bring it back to ourselves. This post is not about judging the salvation of somebody else. We can never know that. That is for God alone to judge.

And let’s remember: We will never be perfect. So let’s just clear that up once and for all. So if any of these things are struggles in your life it doesn’t mean that you aren’t saved. We all have struggles with sin. Not one of us is exempt.

This is about looking honestly at ourselves.

Let’s think for just a moment about our own life. What is the overall pattern of our life? If we were to go on trial for Christianity, would we be convicted? Would others be able to present enough evidence to show that we are a true believer in Jesus Christ? Would our own family be willing to give testimony for this?

Remember, it’s not about perfection. It’s about direction.*

What is your direction this morning? Does anything need to change? Recognizing that you are headed the wrong direction is the first step to change. And, as my friend, Trent, testified in his testimony (read it here)–if there no fruit whatsoever, it means there is probably no salvation, either.

And, once again, we go back to the Word of God, don’t we? Studying it, knowing it, and using it as our guide for life. If we are just hearing it and not doing it, we are going to miss out on a lot of blessings (James 1:23-25). And people are going to wonder: Is that person even saved?

Let’s make sure that is never a question that people ask about us! Let’s be so loaded down with good fruit that it is clear to everyone around us that we are living our lives wholly for Jesus!

 

*I think this may be my all-time favorite quote by John MacArthur. I need to give credit where credit is due!

If you have been challenged or helped by this post would you consider sharing it? Thank you!

 

 

 

Life is Like a Bunch of Hangers

Leave a Comment / October 25, 2014

hangers

This morning I was getting ready to do laundry, which required grabbing some of the empty hangers from my closet. And no matter how much I try to keep them organized, some always get twisted impossibly together. It’s so annoying. Seriously.

And so I have to sit there and patiently disconnect them one at a time.

Yeah, I know it’s Saturday. It’s not a normal posting day. And this is not going to be a long post.

But I couldn’t help but think about my life being like a bunch of hangers all twisted and intertwined together and sometimes it feels impossible to make it go smoothly. Just when you think that it is, another hanger is lodged someplace that takes time to disentangle.

And I realized that it is only through much prayer and patience that we can truly heal from hurt or change sin patterns. Nothing is instant.

Oh, how I wish it were.

And every hurt and every sin affects others. Hangers don’t get caught up on nothing. They get caught up in other hangers. None of us can sin without sowing consequences for others, as well as ourselves.

So next time you have a bunch of hangers and they are all getting caught on one another, think about how this relates to your life. And then slow down and patiently pull them apart. Because they will come apart. It just takes time.

 

Sometimes.

2 Comments / October 16, 2014

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Sometimes I feel like I’m writing to myself.

Sometimes I feel like bearing my soul here on the blog makes me too vulnerable to pointing fingers.

Sometimes I worry that I am too narrow or too broad or too vague in what I write.

Sometimes I wonder if people think I am arrogant or ridiculous or unrealistic or harsh.

Sometimes I worry that I annoy people because I am forever posting the blog posts to my social media accounts.

And, many times, I wonder if I am making any difference at all.

We all know that the number of blogs out there are countless. I often feel like the tiniest bit of plankton in the giant ocean of the internet. But I keep writing, anyway. Because I honestly believe it is what God wants me to be doing– at least for right now. How do I know this?

I know this because of so many of you, my faithful readers. Let me explain.

On Monday, my post was about speaking the good to others and I gave you an assignment to try to say at least one nice thing to or about someone each day. It got me thinking about how so many of you have said such kind things to me regarding my writing. It might be in passing, when I see you out of the blue, letting me know you read the blog and thanking me for writing. Or it might be through a short e-mail expressing your appreciation of a particular post. Or you may be one who provides me with constant encouragement, always there when I need a few words to keep me going, reminding me of why I am writing in the first place. And many of you have encouraged me by clicking on the “like” and “share” buttons, letting me know you believe that what I write is actually worth sharing.

Whoever you are, if you have  encouraged me regarding Growing4Life, I want you to know that it has been wonderfully uplifting. And, honestly, I believe your kind words are what has kept me writing the last four and a half years. Whenever I am ready to quit because I feel like no one cares, God will move one of you to encourage me to keep writing because He is using me to help you grow.

I am so humbled by this. Honestly, I am. I have such a long way to go and most of what I write on here are just lessons that I am learning myself. I don’t have it altogether. Which is why I find it even more amazing that God is using me– if even in just a very small way. While I may appear confident and together on the outside, inside I am still insecure, too worried about what people think when I lose sight of my true reason for writing.

And so I want to offer my deepest gratitude to those of you who have helped me stay the course when I have wanted to quit. Your kind words have made such a difference and they have not gone unnoticed.

Offer those kind words of encouragement to someone today in your sphere. This is Day 4 of the Word Power assignment. If you are taking part in the assignment, I hope that you will continue it today.

Because encouraging words do make a difference and this blog is genuine proof of that.

 

Say the Good Stuff

7 Comments / October 13, 2014

word power

We all do it at one time or other. Some of us more than others.

We open our mouths and out pour words that hurt, malign, or tear down. Sometimes we are being sarcastic and mean, other times we just talk without thinking. Very occasionally, we are telling a hurtful hard truth and it needs to be said. But negative words to others or about others often spew from our mouths like water from a spring.

But have you ever noticed that, while we are so free to speak about the stuff we don’t like to someone or about others, we rarely speak what we do like? Have you ever been somewhere and had thoughts like this, “Oh, I really like her new haircut,” or, “He looks like he is losing weight”? Or have you ever been to a soccer game and thought, “Wow, my friend’s son has really improved his game”?  Or maybe you’ve been in church and really enjoyed a special piece by the vocalist or the preacher’s message. Do you take the time to tell them?

Really, you should try it. It’s a great ice breaker and conversation starter. It’s also a wonderful way to encourage and build up others.

Speaking positively about others is also a great way to be an incredible testimony. Have you noticed that when the gang is around the water cooler at work, they are rarely saying nice things about others? Usually they are boss-bashing or gossiping about co-workers. You can stop the whole gossip train by inserting kind words– “The boss isn’t usually like that, maybe something’s wrong,” or “Didn’t she help you with that report last week, Jim?” By refusing to participate in the negative talk that surrounds you, you show almost instantly that there is something very different about you.

Words have such power to build up or break down. It is our natural human tendency (or perhaps I should say sinful nature) to use this power negatively. Even many Christians seem to see this as something less than sin and freely give their hurtful opinions at all times and in all moments. They complain about their husbands and children to others. They make sarcastic remarks to their families. They always feel like it is their personal duty to tell you how you are doing things the wrong way. Many times, they are part of the gossip huddle in the office or at church. You know the ones.

But, as Christians, we should be known for building up with our words. Sure, sometimes –on a very rare occasion– we do need to confront (with truth and much grace)– but most of our negative words just don’t need to be said.

So I have an assignment for you this week–

Say something nice to someone or say something nice about someone to someone else. Do this every day for a whole week.

Perhaps this will help all of us to start developing the habit of speaking kindly to and about one another and move us out of that natural bent towards the negative. Will anyone join me in this assignment?

If you do join the assignment, would you consider coming back here to share your experience by commenting? Or join us at Growing4Life on Facebook to share your stories and thoughts! I will try to share my own experience there each day of this week. Your participation and comments would be very encouraging to me! Thanks so much!

Wednesday Wisdom: Sovereign Over Us

Leave a Comment / October 8, 2014

Sunburst in natural Forest - Autumn

If you follow my blog, you will be aware of the fact that I haven’t had a Wednesday Wisdom post on here for a very long time. I decided to focus on a few other areas of writing instead. But a friend who is going through some very deep waters sent me the following lyrics. I had actually heard the second half of this song recently and had wanted to look them up and, lo and behold, this morning my friend sent them to me in an e-mail.

I am sharing them with you today, with the awareness that someone else out there in the “blogosphere” may need to read this today.

SOVEREIGN OVER US

There is strength within the sorrow
There is beauty in our tears
And You meet us in our mourning
With a love that casts out fear
You are working in our waiting
You’re sanctifying us
When beyond our understanding
You’re teaching us to trust

Your plans are still to prosper
You have not forgotten us
You’re with us in the fire and the flood
You’re faithful forever
Perfect in love
You are sovereign over us

You are wisdom unimagined
Who could understand Your ways
Reigning high above the Heavens
Reaching down in endless grace
You’re the lifter of the lowly
Compassionate and kind
You surround and You uphold me
And Your promises are my delight

Your plans are still to prosper
You have not forgotten us
You’re with us in the fire and the flood
You’re faithful forever
Perfect in love
You are sovereign over us
[x2]

Even what the enemy means for evil
You turn it for our good
You turn it for our good and for Your glory
Even in the valley, You are faithful
You’re working for our good
You’re working for our good and for Your glory
[x2]

Your plans are still to prosper
You have not forgotten us
You’re with us in the fire and the flood
You’re faithful forever
Perfect in love
You are sovereign over us
[x2]

You’re faithful forever
Perfect in love
You are sovereign over us

 

Written by Aaron Keyes, Jack Mooring, Bryan Brown

Performed by Michael W. Smith

Getting Scammed

2 Comments / October 6, 2014

Indian Call Center

“Hi, Ma’am, I’m calling from Microsoft,” started the voice with a thick accent, indicating he was from a country far away. He continued, “We have been watching your computer, ma’am, and we see that there is a dreadful virus that is running haywire on your computer, ma’am.”

My naturally skeptical self rose to the surface. Yeah, right.

“Umm…which computer are we talking about here– a desktop or a laptop?”

With only a slight nanosecond of hesitation, “your laptop, ma’am. It’s very serious, ma’am. If you don’t fix this, we will have to discontinue connection to your IP address. You will lose all access to your computer. This is very serious, ma’am.”

“How do I know you are calling from Microsoft?”

“Ma’am, I am calling from Microsoft. We keep track of all computers. You have a terrible virus that will start to affect all of the computers around you if you don’t do something about it.”

He went on to give me the worst possible consequences if I didn’t take care of this matter immediately, trying to frighten me into taking his bait.

By this time, I was fairly sure I was dealing with a scam artist. I was in the midst of a really busy day and was in no mood to entertain a scam artist on the phone and so, after assuring him that I would check into this threatening virus with a professional I know, I hung up on him.

When I did finally think to ask my computer specialist, she confirmed my suspicions and assured me that Microsoft is not in the habit of calling customers to let them know their computers have a deadly virus.

I am sure the scam artist was very disappointed not to get his hands on some American money. I am also sure that, without blinking an eye, he called the next number on his list.

And the sad thing is that there will be some sad soul who believes him and is scammed out of hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars. But this scamming doesn’t only go on over the phone from international thieves. It goes on wherever there are people. And it goes on in a multitude of ways. Scamming has been a famous way to gain money or power since time began.

When we talk about being scammed financially, a lot of it has to do with naivete and lack of discernment. If we do not make an effort to be at least somewhat knowledgeable of the world around us and the dangers that are a part of it, we will be easily fooled. But if we do listen and read and take initiative to understand what kind of world we live in, we will be less easily scammed should the situation arise.

But there is something much more dangerous than financial scamming and that is spiritual scamming.  If we don’t take the initiative to know and understand God and to read His Word, we make ourselves very vulnerable to the spiritual scammers of this world. Another part to protecting ourselves is to be constantly aware and on guard.

I could have been very easily scammed by the foreigner on my phone had I not immediately been wary. Let’s be honest, we live in a culture where scams are, unfortunately, a very real and frequent threat.  I was on guard as soon as I heard the first sentence, as many of you would have been, as well.

But so often we don’t practice this same principle when we are listening to a preacher or reading a book. We don’t listen to the song lyrics that are on in our car and we pay little attention to the philosophies behind our church’s decisions.

But in order for us to keep from being spiritually scammed — and to discern truth from error (Philippians 1:9)– we need to apply this same principle to all we put in our mind. It doesn’t matter if it is a sermon by my favorite preacher or the lyrics to a song I’ve heard on the radio a hundred times or a book by my favorite author, we should always be running everything through the grid of God’s Word. Of course, this is only possible if we actually are reading and studying the Bible.

Yes, all of this takes so much work and effort, but if we don’t do this, we are so easily scammed.

Why do some people pay money to a preacher, believing this will lead to healing?

They don’t know God’s Word.

Why do some people believe they can gratify the lusts of the flesh, living in any way they desire and yet still go to heaven as long as they “asked Jesus into their heart”?

They don’t know God’s Word.

Why do some people believe that all ways lead to heaven and that Christianity is just one of them?

They don’t know God’s Word.

Why do some people believe that homosexuality is not a sin?

Because they don’t know God’s Word.

If we study God’s Word with humility and a desire to obey what we learn, and if we pray, asking for insight and understanding, God will answer that prayer (Ephesians 1:15-23). As we become more familiar with the Bible, we become much more astute and discerning when someone teaches something that is not scriptural.

Don’t be a victim of a spiritual scam. Know God’s Word so well that it isn’t even possible to scam you.

 

In case you are wondering why I seem to be writing so much about the Bible lately, I want to fill you in on a couple of reasons–

1. My own passion of God’s Word has grown so much over the past year and I would love for you to have that same passion. In 2015 I am hoping to have a Growing4Life Bible Reading Challenge. More details will come on that soon.

2. I truly believe that the main reason the modern-day church is walking away from its very foundations of truth is because its members do not know the Word of God. We have become so used to being spoon-fed spiritually and, if we are honest, have turned the bulk of our attention to the temporary things of this life. We have become obsessed with our experiences and how we feel about them. These changes have opened wide the door for doctrinal error to enter the church doors. It is my hope that I can encourage even one person to turn back to the Bible and a focus on the eternal. It is truly my hope that this blog will encourage you to include  increasing your knowledge of God, through reading and studying the Bible, in your busy schedule so that you will grow as a believer and be able to discern in these dangerous times. 

iOS Frustrations

Leave a Comment / October 2, 2014

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Well, the iPhone saga continues on at this house. If you recall, it was only about a month ago that I had shattered my iPhone and blogged about the lessons I learned from that experience (you can find that post here). When I wrote that, my phone had not been fixed. I’d like to take just a moment to tell you the rest of that story, so you can fully appreciate the rest of this post.

After trying to replace the broken screen, I finally just decided to call the insurance I apparently had on the phone (but do not remember signing up for). When I called, the kind lady assured me that she would be able to help me and went on to explain that since they were no longer making the iPhone 5, I would be sent a 5s. A day later, my phone showed up. I moved the Sim card, restored my latest backup, and was up and running in literally no time at all. It was so easy.

Fast forward a few weeks, when my husband dropped his phone. But instead of the screen shattering, something happened with his sound. He could no longer hear any calls through his ear piece and had to take all his calls via the speaker phone. Once again, I was on the phone with the insurance company.

But this time it would not be so easy.

When I called, I was informed by the not-so-nice lady who seemed to have no idea what she was doing that I would need to fax an affidavit and proof of my I.D. to them before they could process this claim. They could not approve the claim before I did this. When I asked for her supervisor and explained that I had just made a claim on another phone without doing this, she told me this was standard and there were no exceptions. Hmmm. Okay. Slightly annoyed, I did as I was told. When the approval finally came through it was for an iPhone 5. No problem there. I found it curious, given what the agent had told me the month before, but not a problem.

A couple of days later, the phone arrived. When I went to get started exchanging the phones last night, the tiny screen of the new iPhone informed me that no backups could be restored until the operating system was updated. Upon investigating further, I realized that the phone they had sent me only had iOS 6. At that point, I knew we were not looking at some easy fix. This was going to take some time. I was starting to feel some pressure. It was already pretty late at night and Eric could not be without a phone the next day. Ok, he could but it would be extremely inconvenient. I found myself wondering why mine was the easy and upgraded one. He needs his phone so much more than I need mine. Anyway.

I updated the iOS as requested only to find out that now it couldn’t restore the backup because the new phone was now iOS 8 and his backup was in iOS 7. So. Much. Frustration. So now I had to update his iPhone. If you have an iPhone, you are aware that these updates take some time. We were now at around 11:15. I left his to update and went to bed. This morning at 6:15, it looked like it had not updated overnight. And the panic hit once again. Thankfully, it had updated (must have just been a glitch on the screen). To update the new phone, I had had to set it up as a new phone. And so now I had to go back and erase and reset the new phone so I could restore the backup.

I was finally able to get the new phone in Eric’s hands at about 7:30.

What a process. All because I did not start with the right iOS system.

What I am going to say now most people do not want to hear but the bottom line is this: If we start with right operating system, life is generally simpler. 

And, in life, the right operating system is found in the Bible. If we follow the standards set up for us there, we have a better life. I have even seen non-Christians live by the standards set up there and have a really good life because they are living a good, moral life by staying faithful to their spouse, being honest, loving their children and teaching them to obey and respect authority, being a good steward of their resources, and being a good worker. These things alone will keep us from experiencing an awful lot of consequences.

But when we start with the wrong operating system (known by the name ME), we run in to some serious problems. When we are dominated by our own selfish desires, pride, and lusts, we will probably not have such an easy life but instead will be forced to deal with some costly consequences.

Sure, there are exceptions to this. Sometimes bad things do happen to good people. But we have to stop pretending that we can–

–Eat all we want and not get fat.

–Let our kids disobey and be disrespectful and yet believe they will somehow follow the Lord when they get older.

–Be selfish and unloving and still have a good marriage.

–Buy what we want and not go into debt.

Life has consequences. And much of the heartache in this world is due to this rule of reaping what you sow (Galatians 6:7). The really sad thing is that most times we are not the only ones who reap what we sow. The tragedies dealt by bad decisions are visited upon our children, our spouses, and our parents. Our choices can ruin lives.

My phone was so easy because I had started with the correct iOS. On the other hand, Eric’s phone was difficult and so frustrating because it did not have the correct iOS.

Let me encourage you to start with the right operating system today. This doesn’t mean we will live perfect lives (which you will understand immediately if you know me at all!), but it does mean that we will make a very purposeful decision to stop being guided by our own desires and wants and, instead, turn to God’s Word for directions on how to live. You will not only be pleasing Him by this choice, but avoid a lot of unnecessary heartache and sadness in your life.

 

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A Lesson in Love From an Unlikely Source

2 Comments / September 29, 2014

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I love both my dogs. Truly, I do. But I have to admit that one is so much easier to love than the other one. (First, a disclaimer– if you don’t like dogs, you may not “get” this post. I hope you will keep reading, anyway.)

We have one dog named Belle. She is small and white and a bit cat-like. She will come if she feels like it. She will obey if she feels like it. She will stare at you with these eyes that seem to say, “see if you can make me.”  Now, overall, she is a great dog. She really is. And most times she does listen. And when she feels like it, she is the most cuddly dog you can imagine. But so much of the love is on her terms.

On the other hand, our Chocolate Lab, Macy, is almost always willing and ready to obey, to come when called, and to snuggle. She is happy and easy-going and just an easy dog to have around. She follows me everywhere and is almost depressed when I am not home for a few days. She loves me so much that I can’t help but love her back. The dog hair that seems to congregate in the corners of my house and other occasional annoyances that come with having a dog inside the house are more bearable because she is just so lovable.

The bottom line is that Macy is just easier to love than Belle.

As I was thinking about this the other day, I started wondering: Am I lovable? Do I love the people in my life so much that they can’t help but love me back?

I think sometimes we expect people (especially our spouses) to love us unconditionally, without wavering. And so they should. But perhaps we could make it so much easier for them to do so?

Should we really expect passionate and undying love from someone if we treat them like they are our servant? Or grow angry and irritated at the slightest offense? Can we really expect unconditional love if we are unkind, arrogant, and defensive? If we never, ever apologize or forgive?

Oh, it is possible to love difficult people by the grace of God and His love working through us, but we do it out of a sense of duty. It certainly isn’t because it is fulfilling or rewarding in any way. It certainly isn’t the way God designed love between two people to be.

Instead we so often fall into the habit of tolerating one another.

I have read several books on marriage that suggest that if you start serving your mate and treating them the way you would want to be treated it would go a long way in making your marriage work. I knew that this must be true but when I started thinking about my two very different dogs, understanding came in a whole different way.

It is just hard not to love someone (or a dog) who treats you like you are the greatest thing in existence. It is a rare person who doesn’t respond to kindness and loving actions shown towards them. And it is so much easier to put up with the annoyances and small irritations if we feel deeply loved by someone. Tolerance falls away and deep, abiding love takes its place.

If you are struggling in a relationship with someone today, may I suggest that you start loving that person unconditionally and without reserve?  Read I Corinthians 13 right now and put it into practice. Start treating them like they are special and see if they don’t just return that love. And, even if they don’t respond in the way you want right away (this process can take days or even years), you will be filled with the knowledge and peace that you are doing the right thing according to God’s Word (Mark 12:31).

 

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