Christianity – Page 18 – Growing 4 Life

Self-Obsession

15 Comments / July 25, 2016 July 25, 2016

Sometimes I am still so amazed with how obsessed I am with myself. Seriously. How can this be? I think I have grown in this area of loving God more than loving myself and then I am criticized or minimized and I am back to realizing just how much I love me.

In the past few weeks, two specific things happened. In one instance, a ministry I have given my heart and soul to was completely–and quite unintentionally–minimized. In another, a project I was working on was criticized behind my back and that criticism found its way to my ears. In both instances, my first thought was: Why do I even bother?

I have found in my life that these two things– criticizing or minimizing –are the two surest ways to knock the wind out of my sails. I get hurt, I get angry, I get frustrated.

But why? Why do these things bother me so much?

As I thought about this a lot over the past few days, I realize that it is because I love myself more than I love God. I get more angry and offended if someone hurts me than I do if they commit an offense against God.

I am quite ashamed to admit this, but it is just the truth.

When I can find my way back to biblical sanity–a place that is easier to find when I am walking with the Lord–I recognize that I can learn from comments that criticize or minimize–but only if I am willing to look at them honestly and humbly. When I can look at them honestly, there is potential to learn from them. When I am humble and stop thinking so highly of myself, the temptation to walk away from a fruitful ministry because of a comment seems silly.

And so my job is to examine whether or not the comment has truth or not and then to make changes if it does and to forgive and ignore if it doesn’t. That’s it. That’s what I am supposed to do.

I have to be honest with you– I did not want to share this today. It feels far too personal. But I believe that God wanted me to share this. So much so that I had nothing else to write today. Nothing. I was a complete blank– except for this.

And I recognize that self-love is a grave temptation for all of us. When we think we have it conquered, it rears its ugly head and reminds us that we certainly do not. It keeps us depending on and trusting in our heavenly Father for grace and strength. It reminds us why we so desperately need a Savior.

I also believe this dynamic–this self-obsession–is what keeps the body of the church from being unified on many occasions. It is what causes grudges to be held, forgiveness to be withheld, and ministries to fail. It is what causes rifts in families and great divides in churches.

All because of our great idol: self.

And so God has continued to humble me. And while I don’t enjoy it, I am thankful for it. It is always good to be reminded that I am just a pinpoint–less than a pinpoint– on the timeline of life. God can accomplish His plan and His purposes without me–and without you, too. We are here to glorify Him and to make Him known, but He doesn’t need us. However, we do need Him. I think sometimes we get that a little mixed up and view ourselves as more important than we are.

Life is challenging. All of us face criticism or being minimized at one time or another. We face hurtful remarks and slander and gossip that swirls around about us. How we handle it is crucial and very telling of how much we worship self.

The next time this happens to me, I hope my journey to humility and honesty is just a little shorter. I hope that I will be less in love with myself and more in love with God. But I also recognize that this love of self is all-pervasive and ready to rear its ugly head at all times. We have to fight this sin very intentionally. And we can never rest because the path of self-obsession leads to a very dark and lonely place.

And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment. And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.

Mark 12:30-31

Do You Love Money?

2 Comments / July 11, 2016 July 11, 2016

Mr. and Mrs. Smith live in a 6000 sq ft house in a wealthy neighborhood and vacation at their second home on Grand Cayman several times each year. Mr. Smith is a top executive at a major corporation and drives a Jaguar.

Mr. and Mrs. Jones live in a small rancher in an even smaller town. Mr. Jones works at a local factory and drives a Ford truck. Their only vacation each year is to a cabin in the mountains that has no electricity or running water.

Which one of these couples loves money?

Most of us–without any thought at all–would tend to say that of course it is Mr. and Mrs. Smith. There would be no discussion. No thoughtful contemplation. We just assume that if someone is rich they must love money.

Which may be the case.

But isn’t always the case.

Let’s take their vehicles. A new teen driver miscalculates and backs into their vehicle in the driveway. Mr. Jones has a fit! He grows angry, resentful, and may even let out a few curse words. On the other hand, in the same scenario, Mr. Smith is gracious and kind and tells the neighbor not to worry about it. Now which of these men do you think loves money (and his stuff)?

Or let’s take a look at their homes. What if Mrs. Jones won’t let anyone come to her house because she is obsessed with cleanliness? She doesn’t want anyone to ruin her carpet or to put marks in her cabinets and so she never practices hospitality. She spends all her time cleaning and making sure not a speck of dirt exists anywhere but no one ever gets to enjoy her home because she doesn’t want anyone to mar her perfect masterpiece. Mrs. Smith, on the other hand, while having a beautifully and professionally decorated house, welcomes others to her home regularly. She loves to play hostess and does her own cooking and cleaning. Her home feels lived-in and comfortable. Which of these women loves money (and her stuff) more?

Perhaps we shouldn’t be so quick to judge.

Having money is not equal to loving money

AND

Loving money is not equal to having money

They are two separate things and we should treat them as such.

Many years ago, my husband and I bought a large SUV for our growing family. It was a nice car, already a few years old, and affordable for us. I was excited about our new vehicle and can vividly remember how awful I felt when someone made a derogatory statement to me about it, implying that we loved money because we had chosen to drive such a car.

I had to really think through that. Did we have an inordinate love of money? That is a question we all should wrestle through, but what vehicle we drive is not generally an indicator.

Instead of judging ourselves and others based on the stuff we have, we’d be better to judge based on our attitudes about the stuff we have. Here are eight questions we can ask ourselves to make sure we are holding on to our material blessings very loosely–

1. Do we use what God has given us to encourage others and to further God’s Kingdom or do we hoard it all to ourselves?

2. Are we quick to let others borrow our things? If someone needs something that we have, do we let them use it? Or are we too worried about it being broken or never returned?

3. Do we grow angry and resentful if someone breaks something of ours? Or do we treat them like we would want to be treated?

Okay–I have to insert a quick story here about this. One evening, our oldest daughter had a group of friends over. They were playing a Wii game in the basement, using our brand new flat-screened TV. After a bit, our daughter came upstairs with one of her friends. Tears ran down the friend’s face as she shared that she had accidentally let the Wii remote fly from her hand and hit the TV. It had damaged the screen pretty badly and she was SO sorry. We all watched to see how my husband would react. And he did not disappoint. It is one of the reasons I love him so much. He kindly told her that it was “just a TV” and not to worry about it and then sent them back downstairs. This wasn’t an act and he didn’t huff and puff about what had happened after she had left that evening. He really took it all in stride. Stuff has never mattered that much to him and this incident was just one more confirmation of that. He has taught me to always love people more than stuff.

4. What is driving us? Do we work to supply for the needs of our family (2 Thessalonians 3:7-12) and to glorify God (I Corinthians 10:31)? Or are we working feverishly so that we can buy a nicer car, a bigger home, and the latest gadget?

5. Are we generous? Do we give freely and often and without reserve when we see a need?

6. Do we grow resentful if someone forgets to pay us back? Do we fuss and fret and make assumptions about them? Perhaps we even gossip about them to others?

7. Am I envious of the stuff that my neighbor has? Am I always complaining about how little stuff I have or what I can’t afford? This indicates a heart that is wrapped up in material things and the love of money.

8. If everything I have was taken away tomorrow, would I be okay? Or is my security and happiness wrapped up in material things?

These are tough questions, but if we answer them honestly we will learn the truth about ourselves. The love of money is rooted deep within most of us. It is something for which we need to be on guard always and can never let get the upper hand in our lives. It is not a sin that only affects rich people, but has the potential to affect each and every one one of us that lives in a materialistic, western culture.

Surprisingly, the scripture tells us that the love of money isn’t only sinful but that it also has great potential to cause us much sorrow. I Timothy 6:10 tells us this–

For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.

“Pierced themselves through with many sorrows”. That is quite a picture, isn’t it? This tells us that loving money could quite possibly destroy our lives. We can see this in a multitude of ways–

►Elderly parents pass away and the kids find out that the will isn’t fair. Adult children fight for their “rights”, hurtful words are said, and the family is fractured beyond repair.

►Mom and Dad want a particular lifestyle. They believe it is their right to have the American Dream, no matter what it costs. Meanwhile, their children are left to their own devices and grow up, lost and lonely, selfish and spoiled, with no boundaries and no moorings. All for the sake of stuff.

►A man is obsessed with making easy money. He buys into a get-rich-quick scheme and loses his family’s life savings.

These are just three examples of a million that could be told. The love of money is a dangerous game and we best make sure we aren’t caught up in it. Let’s be good stewards of whatever God has entrusted to us, whether it be great or small. After all– it isn’t even ours, anyway.

He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much;

and he who is unjust in what is least is unjust also in much.

Luke 16:10

From Here to There

6 Comments / July 7, 2016 July 7, 2016

I was rolling my eyes inside my head as I listened to someone sharing their frustration with me about a certain situation. I wanted to just look at them and say something like this–

You can fix this yourself. If you’d just do “A”, then you would get “B”.

I don’t know what made this conversation from the past come to my mind this week, but there it was. And I started thinking about how many of us do this. We complain about a situation in our lives and, yet, if we’d just do things the way we should, we probably could change it and get the results we so desire.

For instance, we may be frustrated that we are in debt, but we aren’t willing to do the work and sacrifice necessary to not be in debt.

We may be frustrated that our marriage isn’t very healthy, but we aren’t willing to give up our own selfish desires to make it better.

We may be frustrated that we don’t get a raise or a promotion, but we aren’t willing to be an employee of integrity and give a 100%, no matter what job we have.

As I thought about all of these “people” that struggle with getting from here to there, I recognized just how often I do this same thing in many areas of my life.

The one that I do this with the most is my weight. Throughout all of my life, I was able to eat pretty much what I wanted without gaining weight. I was never super skinny but I wasn’t really overweight, either. However, these midlife years have presented quite a challenge for me. Now, it seems as if I gain a pound just by looking at food. Okay, that may be a slight exaggeration. But, realistically, in order for me to stay the same weight, I cannot continue to eat the same way I ate for my whole life.

So this is my new life. And I have a choice. I can choose to continue on in the way I always have or I can choose to scale back on my calories and eat healthier.

The choice is mine. And only mine.

And, yet, I often find myself complaining about this. Not so much to others–although I have been known to do that. No, my negative dialogue occurs mostly in my head. Constantly.

It feels like there are a million miles between here (typical middle-aged body) and there (skinny, attractive) and that it is impossible to reach. But I don’t really do anything about it except grumble.

As I have been working through this in my head over the last several years (yes, I said years–weight seems to be the internal battle that just won’t go away), I have thought about all of this quite a bit.

And I realize that there are some things we really need to consider, when we see a there that we want to reach. First and foremost, we need to view our goal from God’s perspective by using the Word. So often we feel pressure to be something or to do something because the world is pushing us and telling us we need to do it. But what does the Bible say?

We do know that God wants us to be good stewards of all that we have been given (Luke 16:10; I Corinthians 4:2), whether it be our bodies or our finances or our marriages, but how exactly does that look? What should be our test for this?

Scripture has much to say about all of these things and more and our first duty is to find out what it says.

And then we need to act on what we learn. If I am not being a good steward of my resources, what am I going to do about it?

One thing we do know for sure is that inaction is useless in getting us to there. And yet inaction–as much as we all hate it and desire to avoid it–is so tempting. It is always easier to float downstream than to use the energy necessary to swim upstream. And so this is why so many of us are much more comfortable floating along, bemoaning our circumstances.

Another thing we should consider is whether or not we are setting a goal that is outside of our control. Sometimes our there is just simply out of our reach and yet we keep trying to manipulate circumstances to get to where we want to go. Perhaps it is a rebellious, wayward child, a spouse who refuses to change, a dead-end job with a lousy boss that we need to survive, or we have a chronic health issue.

So what then?

This situation makes me think of Paul. He, too, was given a circumstance –we don’t know what it was–that was frustrating him. We read about it in 2 Corinthians 12–

And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. ⁸Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. ⁹And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. ¹⁰Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Paul wanted this thorn to be removed but God said NO. This thorn was used to keep Paul humble and relying on Christ rather than on himself. Paul’s trials drew him to Christ rather than away from Christ.

Is this what our trials do for us? It’s a good question to ask ourselves, isn’t it?

We probably cannot grow from trials until we get to the point of resting in God’s sovereignty–always continuing in fervent prayer for those we love or for our seemingly impossible circumstances and doing what we can to change the situation, and yet resting in His timing and His will instead of always trying to fix it ourselves.

And, finally, one last thing we should always consider– whether our there is within or outside of our control–is our final there. Our daily decisions here on earth should always be made with eternity in mind. Matthew 6 puts it this way–

Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; ²⁰but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. ²¹For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

So, while it is very important that we be good stewards with all we have been entrusted, it is also very important that we live with heaven in mind. I don’t know about you, but this is not always part of my decision-making process. I get caught up in the here and now and do not always give much consideration to eternity.

Well, I hope my rambling thoughts gave you some food for thought today. As you may have noticed, I am working through all of this myself and certainly have a long way to go. It is a challenge to live a victorious Christian life here on this fallen earth and I struggle every day. But it is so important that we keep moving forward in this life.

May we continually dig deeper in the Word with submissive and obedient hearts and may we give ourselves to dedicated prayer, all the while relying on God for the grace and strength to get through each day. In so doing, we will show a lost and dying world that Jesus does make a big difference–not only for eternity, but also for the here and now.

Changed Lives: Mandy

1 Comment / June 29, 2016 June 25, 2017

Today I want you to meet Mandy. I got to know her when she started attending the Bible Study I was teaching last fall. It became immediately evident that she had an unusual hunger for the truth. She asked a lot of questions, demonstrating a humble and teachable spirit that is seen in few. One evening, after the study, Mandy shared with me some of her story. I knew at that point that if I ever followed through on my idea of sharing testimonies on Growing 4 Life, that I would want to include hers. It’s a beautiful story of God’s love and redemption. I am so thankful she is willing to share it–

Mandy’s Story

As a young woman, I found myself involved in drinking, partying, and relationships with men outside of marriage. I was desperately trying to fulfill a longing to be loved but, instead, ended up deceived and alone.

I truly wanted to stop living this foolish and dangerous lifestyle and also started to develop a hunger for Truth. God brought a couple into my life who befriended me, bought me my first Bible, and invited me to their church. Even though I still did not know the Gospel, I began to believe there was hope for me. Looking back now, I can see how God was beginning to divinely draw me to Himself.

Not long after this, I was brought to deep conviction about the sin in my life– particularly for my relations with many men outside of marriage. I had already had two abortions and was a single mother to two sons from two different men.

Around that time, bearing a heavy burden of feeling unclean from my promiscuous lifestyle, I made the decision to have a routine checkup for sexually transmitted diseases. On my way home from the doctor, I fell into deep despair. It was just at that moment that my friends stopped by.

“I deserve to burn in Hell and live with the consequences of my behavior,” I cried. It was a most terrifying and sobering thought. It was at this time that this couple presented me with the Gospel and God began to remove the blinders from my eyes that had kept me in such darkness.

Two weeks passed and, finally, my doctor called me with my test results. I nervously answered, expecting the worst. I knew I deserved it and I was ready to pay a high price for my sinful lifestyle.

But instead he shared with me that I had a clean bill of health! In fact, he told me that my pap test was clear—for the first time in seven years! I praised God for this unexpected news and it was then that I bowed my head and asked God to forgive my sins: past, present, and future. I thanked Him for sending His Son to die on the cross for my sins so that I am able to have a relationship with Him and one day be with Him in Heaven for eternity and I claimed Jesus as the Lord of my life.

Following my profession of faith, my longing to be loved was being fulfilled and I was experiencing the true joy, peace, and freedom that only Christ can give. I truly felt born again!

But all that would change when I chose once again to live in sin.

Prior to my profession, I had been introduced to an active duty marine who was on leave visiting his family. We spent the last several months of his service talking and learning about each other. He came to visit me after his term ended and it did not take us long to fall in love. We knew that we would be married someday in the future. Little did I know, sin was crouching at my door; and its desire was for me. I am ashamed to say that I did not master it. Unfortunately, we did not keep ourselves sexually pure before marriage and I conceived.

I learned the hard way that sin will take you further then you want to go, keep you longer then you want to stay, and cost you more then you want to pay. The shame was unbearable, my purity was sacrificed in one moment of passion, my friendships where falling apart, I lost the desire to read my Bible and attend church, and before I knew it, I stopped walking with the Lord completely.

Three years passed and I was now married and living with my two sons and our newest addition, a sweet daughter. My husband and I bought a home and I worked hard to make it comfortable and homey.

From a worldly view it may have looked like I had it all– a loving husband who was able to provide enough for me to be a homemaker, three healthy children, a charming house, enough money to buy what we wanted whenever we wanted it. And—yet—there was a desperate longing inside me that just wasn’t being fulfilled.

After attending a Women’s Conference at a local church in September 2015, the Holy Spirit pressed heavily upon my heart. It seemed far too easy to believe that God was waiting for me with open arms. Surely I had to do more than to confess my sin, accept God’s forgiveness, and then pick up where I left off with Him? But I did this very thing and my life hasn’t been the same since!

I am convinced life is not found in anything but Jesus. My family and I started faithfully attending church and Sunday school again and I got involved in a couple of Bible Studies. God has been pruning, teaching, and molding me through it all. In humility, I am able to say I stand more firmly in my faith because of it and nothing gives me greater peace and joy then serving and glorifying God.

One Thing We All Know For Sure

4 Comments / June 27, 2016 June 27, 2016

A 48 year old man is on his way to a job when suddenly, with no warning at all, a car, driven by a teen-aged girl, crosses over into his lane. They are both killed.

A curious young boy steps too close to rushing flood waters and is swept away. He is one of 24 who are killed from flash floods in West Virginia.

A young family is playing on the lake beach of a famous resort. Suddenly, an alligator grabs their two year old and he is drowned.

The room is loud, the crowd is dancing and drinking, with no thoughts of eternity on their minds. Suddenly, shots fire. Over fifty are dead within minutes.

A man isn’t feeling well. He goes to the doctor and discovers that his body is riddled with cancer. Within months he is dead.

A 55 year old woman is on the beach on a windy day, celebrating her birthday with friends. Suddenly, a beach umbrella comes flying at her without warning, its point embedding itself in her heart. She is dead within minutes.

These are just six stories of death among the thousands that play themselves across the world every single day. Recent stories that you may have heard about. We don’t like to focus too much on death, but for just this one day, I want to talk about it.

There are a lot of opinions about a lot of things in this world. And with our new post-modern culture, we find that most people accept all opinions as true and valid. If you share anything about the Gospel with someone, you will most like hear something like this: well, that is true for you but it is not true for me. (As if 2+2 can equal 4 for me but equals 6 for them. The argument is so illogical I can’t stand it!)

But there is something we all can agree on–something that no one will argue over. There is one thing we all know for sure. And that is that we are all going to die. And, disconcertingly, few of us have absolutely any idea of when. This is not something we really want to think about, is it?

But perhaps we should think about it a little more often, because it would help us do a re-focus of a few things–

1. First and foremost, pondering death should make us think about our eternal destiny. Do I know where I am going to spend eternity? Am I confident in this? If you aren’t sure or are perhaps confused about the gospel, please read this post. If you think you are going to heaven because you said a prayer asking Jesus to come into your heart, then I would ask you: does your life give evidence of your belief? Do you read and study God’s Word? Would your family and friends testify to the working of God in your life? While it is true that we only need believe in order to be saved, it is also true that true belief yields a changed life. (Matthew 12:33; Matthew 25:41-46) Is your life a living testimony of the work of Christ? If not, then perhaps some soul-searching is in order.

2. If we are confident we are saved, then we also have some soul-searching to do. Death should push us to share the gospel. Many have never heard the Truth from God’s Word. Oh, they may have heard parts of it or they may have heard mangled, twisted bits and pieces taken out of context. But many people still think they are working their way to heaven. What are we going to do about it? Our days are limited and we have no guarantees. Has anyone heard the Gospel from us? Have we planted some seeds along the way? Could we plant more? These are the questions that arise when we think of death.

3. If I knew I was going to die in 5 years, what would I do differently? Would I be kinder? Would I work more? Or less? Would I really try to fix my anger issue? Or climb out of debt so my family isn’t stuck with a mess? Would I make sure my relationship with my kids, my spouse, my parents was healed? We humans like to operate on “someday” time. Someday I’ll talk to that person. Someday I’ll work on this or fix that. But, for most of us, someday never comes. We focus on the everyday cares of life and rarely give attention to changing and growing, choosing instead to live very comfortably at status quo.

4. Death is a great reminder of God’s Sovereignty. He holds our days in His hands. God has even numbered the hairs on our head (Luke 12:7). He knows everything–past, present, future. A day is as a thousand days to Him (2 Peter 3:8) God operates outside of time. We can rest securely in the care of our heavenly Father, knowing that we (and anyone we love) will not be removed from this earth before their time (which, by the way, is a concept that is SO much easier to write a sentence about than to actually live out).

5. Pondering death changes how we view our trials. We can become quickly overwhelmed with life and allow this to steal our joy, if we aren’t careful. Whether it be a houseful of children keeping us crazy busy or a bothersome physical trial, life can get us down. Whether it be a job that demands much from us or some relatives that suck the life out of us, life can move from joyful to draining in a short time. So much depends on our attitude. I feel a bit hypocritical even writing about this. I am very guilty of letting my circumstances control my mood. This is a constant struggle for me, but I am guessing that I am not totally alone in this (am I??). It is so easy to let external circumstances be the driving force of our lives. But we know that we should be controlled by the internal joy that we receive from the Lord and the peace that is available to us when we submit to His will. This is the secret to true and lasting contentment. Elisabeth Elliot put it this way: With acceptance comes peace. Somehow when we think of death it gives us a different perspective on the trials that are plaguing us, doesn’t it? It brings them into proper focus.

6. When we think on death, it reminds us of just how blessed our ordinary days are. We move from one day to the next and complain a little if nothing exciting is happening. And, yet, ordinary can be swept away in an instant. Let’s appreciate it now–before it’s too late. Life changes. Sometimes it is very gradual and sometimes it is in a moment. How important that we appreciate each day and each stage of life. My daughter actually just wrote post on this. Maybe you want to check it out.

As you go about this week, I hope that you will think a bit on this. Who are the lost that you rub shoulders with every day? Do you have a passion to share the Gospel with them? What needs changed in your life to make you look more like Christ? What work does the Lord have for you before you leave the earth? Do you spend a lot of time complaining? Is it time to start working on a heart of gratitude and a spirit of contentment?

Life is short. And none of us has any guarantees. The time to shine our light is now. The time to change is now.

Because only the Lord knows what tomorrow holds.

James 4:14 whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.

Why Don’t We Discern?

6 Comments / June 23, 2016 June 23, 2016

I already know that my title will keep most people from reading this post. People who do discern will figure they don’t need this post and people who don’t discern will ignore it. But I feel compelled to write it, anyway. Because perhaps the Lord will use it to wake someone up. You never know, now, do you?

From the time I was a teenager, I recognized a complete rejection by most modern Christians of discernment. Whether it was regarding entertainment or the preacher they listened to on Sunday mornings, most people did not practice discernment. And this tendency to ignore this command from scripture has grown considerably worse in the recent years.

Why? Why is this command in scripture so soundly ignored by so many solid believers? What is the deal?

First, what does discern mean? According to dictionary.com it is–

to distinguish mentally; recognize as distinct or different; discriminate

In a practical sense, discernment means that we can distinguish between good and evil in our minds. We are willing to take a hard look at every single thing that we allow to enter our minds and consume our thoughts–from the book we read on the beach to the podcast we have downloaded to our favorite TV show to the preacher we listen to on Sunday–with the heart of a Berean (Acts 17:11), viewing all of it through the lens of scripture. It means that we are willing to reject anything that doesn’t line up with what we read in God’s Word.

Second, let’s take a quick look at what the Bible has to say about this (btw, this is just scratching the surface. There are many more verses and passages dedicated to this)–

Folly is joy to him who is destitute of discernment, But a man of understanding walks uprightly. Proverbs 15:21

And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in knowledge and all discernment, Philippians 1:9

But solid food belongs to those who are of full age, that is, those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil. Hebrews 5:14

Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits, whether they are of God; because many false prophets have gone out into the world. I John 4:1

Prove all things; hold fast that which is good. I Thessalonians 5:21

Okay. Now that we know that we are to discern between good and evil and only hold fast what is good after that process, let’s talk about why so few people are actually doing this. Why are so few Christians unconcerned about their entertainment choices? Why the big disconnect between their Christianity and their entertainment? Why are so few uninterested in discerning the times? Why do so few Christians care so little about what is really going on in the world around us, according to scripture?

I think there are some very good–albeit inexcusable–reasons–

1. Pure Selfishness (and a tad of rebellion). Many just want to watch what they want to watch when they want to watch it and nobody is going to tell them they can’t. They are going to listen to whatever radio station they want and no one had better judge them for it. No one. Because that would be judgmental and we know that is the worst sin ever (says the world, by the way–not scripture). They say they aren’t convicted, but we know if there is no conviction, then there is something wrong spiritually.

2. We want to be popular. Peer pressure is a powerful thing and to admit we haven’t seen the latest movie or don’t watch the trendiest show of the day is really, really hard for some of us. We want to be cool and hip (are those even the right words anymore? I am definitely getting old) and so we are willing to make compromises.

3. We hate change. We just want everything to remain the same and so we will stay at a church that is no longer preaching the gospel or has followed after the worldly, modern day church model just because change is so painful (and that is true–change is painful). Or we will keep watching the show that gets continually worse because it’s what we do on Tuesday nights or whenever. We hate change. Did I mention that already??

4. We don’t want to know or think about it. Some just don’t want to think about the hard stuff of life. They want to take everything at face value. If someone says they are a Christian then they surely must be one. If a book is found in a Christian bookstore, then it must belong there. If a show doesn’t have swearing or sex or violence, well, then it must be a good show, right? (wrong–philosophy can be just as dangerous as the other stuff). But it takes work to think. And we, as a culture, have been trained to only want to play.

5. Some aren’t saved at all. J.C. Ryle puts it this way on his expository comments on Matthew 25–

At present, we must all be aware, the vast majority of professing Christians care nothing at all about it. They have no sense of sin. They have no love towards Christ. They know nothing of being born again. Repentance, and faith, and grace, and holiness, are mere words and names to them. They are subjects which they either dislike, or about which they feel no concern. But all this state of things shall one day come to an end. Knowledge, conviction, the value of the soul, the need of a Savior, shall all burst on men’s minds one day like a flash of lightning. But alas! it will be too late. It will be too late to be buying oil, when the Lord returns. The mistakes that are not found out until that day are irretrievable. Are we ever mocked and persecuted and thought foolish because of our religion? Let us bear it patiently, and pray for those who persecute us. They know not what they are doing. They will certainly alter their minds one day. We may yet hear them confessing, that we were wise and they were foolish. The whole world shall one day acknowledge, that the saints of God made a wise choice.*

Do you find yourself not discerning because of one of the reasons above? Most everyone who chooses not to discern falls into one of these categories. Look–this is not a blanket judgment on anyone. I recognize that — just as some Christians struggle with anger or lying and fight it all their lives– so do some Christians struggle in this area of discernment. But recognizing that not practicing it is not only sin but also a big detriment to our spiritual walks should push us to change this. Being aware is always the first step to making a change. Let me finish this post by giving five wonderful benefits that come when we choose to discern–

1. Our hearts don’t become hardened to sin, but instead we stay softened and sensitive to the will of God in our big life decisions, as well as in small, everyday decisions.

2. We love what God loves and hates what He hates, which leads us into a deeper walk with our loving heavenly Father.

3. Our hunger for scripture grows as we turn away from sin and false teachers.

4. We experience true peace and joy that results from a life of obedience, instead of the fake stuff conjured up by the “angel of light” (2 Corinthians 11:14)

5. We remove ourselves from the slippery slope that leads into deep and abiding sin.

I hope this has encouraged at least one of you to turn off the TV or to switch the radio station or to starting thinking about leaving your worldly church. If even one of you changes something, I will know that God has used it for His purposes and His glory.

Search the scriptures for yourself. Get in the Word and be changed. For it is there–and only there–that true change is wrought. Turn away from your personal experiences and turn to the Word of God. I will leave you with Hebrews 4:11-13–

Let us therefore be diligent to enter that rest, lest anyone fall according to the same example of disobedience. ¹²For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. ¹³And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are naked and open to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account.

*Ryle, J.C. . Expository Thoughts on the Gospels: The Four Volume Set. Kindle Edition.

Night Song

2 Comments / June 20, 2016 May 25, 2024

One of the best things about spring is hearing the birds sing. We know that warm weather is on its way when we hear them twittering outside our windows in the morning. But that same sound–so wonderful and cheery during the day– is downright irritating at night!

I know this because every year about this time–for about a week–we have a bird that sings outside our window in the black darkness.

All. Night. Long.

It is so annoying. Outside our window it just chatters away, barely stopping to take a breath. It makes it very hard for me to sleep, because it just isn’t a sound I am used to at bedtime.

Several years ago, I did some research to find out what kind of crazy bird sings at night in this area. I found out that it is the male mockingbird. Apparently, it has something to do with letting other male mockingbirds know that this is his territory. Or something like that.

As I groggily prepared for a new day last week, having had my sleep disturbed yet again by this insistent night singer, it hit me.

Wait.

This is what we Christians are doing. And this is why we frustrate so many people.

We are singing in the night to people who want to sleep.

Think about this with me for a moment. We, as believers, just cannot understand how our beautiful song full of God’s mercy and grace could possibly irritate or frustrate anyone. Why wouldn’t they want to listen? To those of us walking in the light, this doesn’t make sense. It’s a wonderful song that we could listen to all day (and night!)

But for those still in the darkness–to those who have not been awakened to God’s marvelous light–this song is threatening to wake them, pulling them out of their sound sleep and their warm, comfortable “bed” of sin. They don’t understand the freedom and the glory that comes when they awake to new life in Christ. They don’t understand that when you are saved, the darkness loses its appeal.

They don’t get it.

And the darker it gets, the louder our song sounds. The louder our song sounds, the more frustrating we are to those sleeping around us. And the more frustrating we are to those sleeping, the more effort will be made to rid the world of us in whatever way necessary.

It makes so much sense, when you think of it like this. And, despite the efforts to keep us from singing our Night Song, we know that we are to keep singing and to keep singing with gusto. But how many of us–growled at by the sleepers–stop singing?

How many of us just decide the fuss isn’t worth it and choose instead to let people rest in their comfortable place without being disturbed by us? How many of us sing super-quietly, so that we do not arouse anyone? Perhaps singing a tiny bit louder if someone looks like they are starting to wake up?

But here’s the thing–

I know that it’s hard to sing the Gospel song in this current culture. I know that we take a lot of heat for presenting a biblical message. But I also know that this message is the only thing that leads people from permanent darkness to everlasting day. It is the only way to wake people soundly sleeping in their sin to the glorious sunshine of salvation and freedom! We have to keep singing! We have to stop worrying about ourselves and sing for God and for the lost world around us. The world needs us to keep singing.

Of course, there will always be those who choose to sleep. But every now and again, there will be one that wakes. And we may be the privileged one that God chooses to use to stir them from their deep sleep. We may even be the one that gets to walk alongside them into the light.

So let’s sing! And let’s make our Night Song one that disturbs the darkness around us, filling the blackness with the biblical songs of grace, mercy, hope, truth, love, peace, and joy (Romans 15:13; 2 John 1:3; Galatians 5:22). Let’s make sure that the sleepers have heard that Jesus is the only way man can be saved (John 14:6). It is past time that we believers get out of our comfortable nests and start singing the biblical gospel in the deep, dark blackness. The time is now.

I Peter 2:9 But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light; ¹⁰who once were not a people but are now the people of God, who had not obtained mercy but now have obtained mercy.

The great god Entertainment

4 Comments / June 18, 2016 December 3, 2017

Entertainment surrounds us. It has become the lifeblood of our communities, our homes, and our churches. Sometime in the not too distant past, life became more about being entertained than it did about living a good, moral life. Life became more about playing and less about working. And the ramifications of this in the church are quite sobering.

I subscribe to a newsletter from Grace Gems. They send me all kinds of really good quotes and excerpts written by godly Christians already in glory. When I share any of these with my readers, it is generally on my Facebook page. However, this particular passage–written in 1955 by Tozer–is so perfect, so applicable, and so accurate that I wanted to share it with all my readers.

We need to see entertainment for what it is–an idol that has stolen the hearts of many and threatens to steal even our own hearts. It is a bit uncanny just how right Tozer is here and what he could see happening to the church even in the middle of last century. He was a very wise man.

(A.W. Tozer, 1955)

The great god Entertainment is ardently worshiped by many. There are millions who cannot live without amusement–life without some form of entertainment for them is simply intolerable. They look forward to the blessed relief afforded by professional entertainers and other forms of psychological narcotics–as a dope addict looks to his daily fix of heroin. Without them, they could not summon courage to face existence.

No one with common human feeling will object to the simple pleasures of life, nor to such harmless forms of entertainment as may help to relax the nerves and refresh the mind exhausted by toil. Such things, if used with discretion, may be a blessing along the way. That is one thing. But the all-out devotion to entertainment as a major activity for which men live, is definitely something else. The abuse of a harmless thing is sin.

The growth of the amusement phase of human life to such fantastic proportions is a portent, a threat to the souls of modern men. It has been built into a multimillion dollar racket with greater power over human minds and human character, than any other educational influence on earth. And the ominous thing is, that its power is almost exclusively evil, rotting the inner life, and crowding out the eternal thoughts which should fill the souls of men. The whole thing has grown into a veritable religion which holds its devotees with a strange fascination–and a religion, incidentally, against which it is now dangerous to speak.

For centuries the Church stood solidly against every form of worldly entertainment, recognizing it for what it was–a device for wasting time, a refuge from the disturbing voice of conscience, a scheme to divert attention from accountability to God. For this, she got herself roundly abused by the sons of this world. But of late she has become tired of the abuse, and has given up the struggle. She appears to have decided that if she cannot conquer the great god Entertainment–she may as well join forces with him and make what use she can of his powers.

So today we have the astonishing spectacle of millions of dollars being poured into the unholy job of providing earthly entertainment for the so-called Christians. Religious entertainment is in many places rapidly crowding out the serious things of God. Many churches these days have become little more than poor theaters where fifth-rate “producers” peddle their shoddy wares with the full approval of evangelical leaders, who can even quote a holy text in defense of their delinquency. And hardly a man dares raise his voice against it!

The great god Entertainment amuses his devotees mainly by telling them stories. The love of stories, which is a characteristic of childhood, has taken fast hold of the minds of the retarded saints of our day–so much so that many manage to make a comfortable living by spinning yarns and serving them up in various disguises to church people. What is natural and beautiful in a child, may be shocking when it persists into adulthood, and more so when it appears in the sanctuary and seeks to pass for true religion!

Is it not astonishing that, with the shadow of atomic destruction hanging over the world and with the coming of Christ drawing near–the professed followers of the Lord should be giving themselves up to religious amusements? That in an hour when mature saints are so desperately needed–vast numbers of believers should revert to spiritual childhood, and clamor for religious toys?

Changed Lives: Abrafi

9 Comments / June 15, 2016 November 18, 2024

God is alive and at work! Do you believe that? Sometimes it can be so confusing for those of us who do not base our Christianity on experience. Does that mean we don’t ever experience God’s presence and power in our lives? Of course not! It just means that we base our Christian walk on the Word of God and not on our emotions or spiritual experiences. Because the nature of my blog tends towards discernment in these dangerous times, I tend not to focus on how God is at work –sometimes miraculously–at drawing people to Himself and then transforming and changing them to look more like Christ. But we know that it is God Who works in the heart of man for His will and His good pleasure (Philippians 2:13). To Him be all the glory! As I write this, I know that there are so many of us who are witness to this in our own lives.

For awhile now, I have been thinking about sharing the testimonies of people who have seen God at work very vividly in their lives. And so today I introduce Changed Lives on Growing4Life. I hope to present these testimonies of God’s grace and working in the lives of fellow believers on a regular basis, so that we never lose sight of just how great and marvelous our God is! Some of these stories are written by new Christians, some are written by those that thought they were saved but God showed them otherwise, and others are saved men and women who may have found themselves in an impossible situation or entrenched in sinful behavior and watched God work–or in some cases, rescue them– in amazing ways.

We serve a powerful and amazing God! May we not forget it in the midst of this really confusing time.

The first testimony I offer to you is that of Abrafi. She goes to my brother’s church (Pastor Dean) and has been an amazing gift to their church, as testified by both my brother and his wife. As they told me a little of her story, I was compelled to ask her to share a bit of it here with us on the blog. I am so pleased to share it here with you now–

ABRAFI’S STORY

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength and my redeemer. (Psalm 19:14)

Hello, my name is Abrafi. I was born in Ghana, a country in West Africa, and grew up in a professing Christian household. I was baptized as an infant, went to Sunday school and even attended a Christian high school where I was confirmed into the Presbyterian Church at the age of 15. But while I called myself a Christian, the life I led was not godly. I attended church every now and then, but Christ was not the center of my life. Over time, I became very liberal in my beliefs and accepted the notion that the virgin birth was too far-fetched and that Christ himself was a divisive figure. I accepted the belief that all religions were the same; that it was the same God being worshiped by different people under different names.

My husband and I raised our children to be responsible, honest, and generous human beings. However, the bible was hardly read in our house. We believed ourselves to be good people—accepting of all people regardless of their race, religion, sexual orientation, and social background. Yet, I was dissatisfied with my life. I was full of anxiety and I knew something was missing in the life I was living.

I compared my life to my mother’s and wondered why she seemed so content with her simple life and I was unhappy in my more sophisticated one. For her, Christ was the answer to every problem she encountered in life. Over the years, she made it known that she was praying for me and always spoke to me about how much Christ loved me. Soon after spending a vacation with her I went and bought a bible and began to read the psalms and to pray.

At first my prayers were for things that I thought I needed to make my life happier, but slowly a change began to take place in my life. I began to pray for Christ to fill the void my life. In January of 2007, my husband was diagnosed with stage four cancer, and I began to seek Christ more earnestly. One night after a very discouraging visit to see an oncologist at the Cleveland Clinic, I cried out to God to make Himself known to me if He truly existed and to give me faith to know Him. I prayed for forgiveness for my sins and for healing for my husband.

I began to read the bible to my husband. Two days before he died I read the bible to him and felt compelled to ask him if he believed in Christ Jesus. He said yes and I asked if he believed that Christ died to save him from his sins and again, he said yes. I praised the Lord and left the hospital with renewed hope and faith that he would get better. When he died, I remember being confused and thinking that maybe I was not righteous enough for such a miracle. I have since come to know through God’s Word that God does not answer our prayers or grant us salvation based on our good deeds but by his grace—“He saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and the renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom he poured on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our savior” (Titus 3:5-6. In Ephesians 2:8,9 again we are told that,” for by grace you have been saved through faith and that not of yourselves; it is a gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast”. It is God’s grace alone that saved a sinner like me and it is His grace that saved my husband on his death bed. And yes, I do believe that God answered my prayer for healing; He freed my husband of all his afflictions and sins and took him to Himself.

Later, I prayed a specific prayer for a church and He answered that prayer with such precision that, even though I initially was unsure as to whether I belonged there, I was compelled to stay and over time it has become one of the most precious gifts from God to me. At this church, I have grown in the knowledge of who God is, and have come to trust the Bible as the infallible and inerrant word of God, sufficient for all things that pertain to life and godliness. The Lord has also saved my three adult children (O taste and see that the Lord is good, blessed is the man who trusts in Him, Psalm 34:8)! The Lord has surrounded me with people who are grounded in His Word, and filled my days with hope and joy. I am continually humbled by His loving kindness towards me, because I am so undeserving.

Painting a Different Color

10 Comments / June 9, 2016 June 9, 2016

My youngest daughter has been after me for awhile now to help her paint her room. She is quite the little artist (I will share a few photos of her work below for anyone interested) and so she decided the other day that she would like to move back into the old room that she used to share with her sister. There is lots of natural light in that room and it will be perfect for her.

She has been talking about re-doing one of the bedrooms for awhile now but, for some reason, I have been hesitating. I think it is because I have enjoyed having a little status quo around here for a bit after all of those weddings. Whew! That was quite a ride. Just today I realized that I actually do not have to do any wedding planning (or paying!) this summer. It almost feels strange!

It is rather ironic, though, that I–the one who says never to be satisfied with Status Quo (see my tagline up above??)–am thankful for it. At least when it comes to home life. I am tired of changes. I just want something to remain the same for a year. Or two. Of course, we all know that this doesn’t happen. While changes are always flowing in and out of our lives through the years, there are certain times that changes happen right after the other and you can hardly catch your breath. Like when your kids start to move out and start their own lives.

But I digress.

So back to the room…

My daughter found just the right comforter set and we took it to Lowe’s yesterday to match the paint. Did you know they do that? They did a fantastic job in pulling the perfect blue-green shade she wanted from the pillow sham we provided. No more staring at paint swatches, trying to find just the right shade.

We took the paint home, ate some lunch, and then got to work. I trimmed for her and she rolled behind me. As I trimmed, I couldn’t help but notice the other colors peeking out from behind my paint brush and I took a little trip down memory lane. We moved into this house when the two youngest girls were just one and three and so the first color I saw below my brush was a pale pink. I remember finding a cool idea somewhere–it wasn’t Pinterest because that didn’t exist–and painting all four walls a different pastel shade. I was pleased when I was done, although I am not sure the girls ever really loved it. And then several years ago, they started complaining about living in a “baby” room and begged to have it redone. As I painted, I remembered the girls’ giving very different opinions about colors and then finally settling on purple and gray; and so the next color under my brush was a medium shade of purple. And now I was covering the purple of the past with a beautiful aqua.

I tried to cover all of the previous colors beneath the brush but it is so hard to do that perfectly. Kind of like life. No matter what good changes we make, there are always vestiges of our past that cling to us. They peek out when we get frustrated or upset. Or when we are disappointed or anxious.

When we get saved, God provides the Holy Spirit to help us to live a life that glorifies and pleases Him. But we still battle our flesh and sometimes those battles can be quite fierce. This is one of the hardest things, isn’t it? As we grow in Christ, it is like we are painting a wall and covering our old man with our new man. But the old man is always there lying beneath the surface. And the more we grow in Christ, the less of the old man we should see. But we can never–on this side of glory–cover him completely.

Paul puts it this way in Galatians 5:16-26–

I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. ¹⁷For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish. ¹⁸But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.

So this means that our flesh is always warring against us, trying to take us down and keep us from living a godly life. It means that we will always have temptations that we need to fight. And that can be exhausting. But true believers keep fighting.

So what exactly does an ungodly life look like, as compared to a godly life? Well, Paul goes on to share that very specifically in verses 19-26 of the same chapter–

¹⁹Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery,^[c] fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, ²⁰idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, ²¹envy, murders,^[d] drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

²²But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. ²⁴And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. ²⁵If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. ²⁶Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.

Our old life of sin and our new life in Christ will look vastly different. Just like the walls I was painting. They were one color and I painted them a different color. I could say that I painted them a different color, but if the wall was still purple, this would prove that my words were not true. Salvation is a bit like this, as well. Many, many people say that they have “accepted Jesus”, but this is not what we use to prove salvation. The verses we see above show us what an unbeliever looks like compared to a genuine Christian and this is what will prove a person’s profession of faith.

Sure, we all have struggles with sin and some of the old color bleeds through sometimes and we will blindly miss a few spots. But true believers hold their paint brush in their hand at all times, working diligently at covering the old man completely so that he shows through as little as possible. Those who say they are believer but really aren’t will live in their sin, claiming forgiveness under the cross. But this goes against all that is in scripture. Forgiveness only comes with genuine repentance. A hard, unrepentant, arrogant heart is not one that has been changed by Jesus Christ.

Are these hard words to hear? They are if someone we love dearly is not exhibiting any of the fruits of the spirit from the verses above but, instead, abounds in the works of the flesh. What does that mean about their eternal destiny? I surely can’t judge but it does give cause for concern.

Sometimes when someone is just getting started at painting their wall, much of the old man still shows. New believers need a ton of grace, just like we did, too, when we got saved. We can only do what we know and they don’t know very much yet, do they? I shudder more for those who have claimed Christ for years and years and yet there are no changes. It is like they have a paint brush right beside them but hesitate to pick it up because they kind of like their old color. A true believer always has a paint brush in their hand. Paul puts it this way in Philippians 2:12-13–

Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling; ¹³for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure.

Paul also says this in 2 Corinthians 5:17–

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.

Notice he doesn’t say that someone in Christ might become a new creation. He says he is. Genuine new life in Christ is best determined by the fruit in someone’s life. Fruit that will continue to grow –albeit sometimes at a snail’s pace–throughout their entire life.

While I have used the painting analogy, the author of Hebrews uses a different (and better) analogy in chapter 12, verses 1-2–

Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, ²looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

However you want to explain it, it is abundantly clear that genuine salvation will involve a lifetime struggle of removing sin from our lives and growing in the fruits of the Spirit. This is not only how we will finish the race and bring glory to God, but also how others will know that we are genuinely saved.

I know this is not a popular thing to write these days. I get it. But I also know that this is what God’s Word says. As I looked for verses, I found an abundance of them throughout all of the New Testament to add credence to what I have written here. True salvation means you are a different color. If someone has remained the same color, there is much reason to doubt their salvation.

Okay, enough hard stuff. That was hard to write and I am sure it was hard to read. But don’t take my word for it. If this post has struck a cord in you, I hope that you will dig into the scriptures for yourself and search them out. Study them in context, using good commentaries and biblical helps if you need to. This is a big deal in this age of easy-believism and it is really important that we understand this important truth from the Bible.

Now, to lighten things up a bit, I will post a few photos of my daughter’s artwork below. I hope that you enjoy them–