Growing 4 Life

Who, If Not Us?

Leave a Comment / September 9, 2013 September 9, 2013

Do you remember when Jell-O was the “in” thing? Oh, I know they still sell it and people still eat it, but in the 70’s Jell-O was really cool. Moms and Grandmas would mix it with cranberries and carrots and maybe a few nuts, add some cool whip or cream cheese, pour it into a mold, and present it as a salad for Thanksgiving. Green salads weren’t really the thing back in the day and so this sugar-laden concoction was the only salad we had at the meal.

Fast forward to now. Some good changes have taken place. Jell-O salad is no longer quite as popular. Green, leafy salads complete with fruits and nuts have moved in to take its place. Oh, we can still find a Jell-O salad occasionally at one of our meals–they are awfully pretty–but it certainly has changed in the last forty years.

As strange as it sounds, it sort of reminds me of Michael Jackson. He was the a cute little kid who sang with his brothers back in the day. As he grew up he became one of the best known artists of the 80’s, raking in millions with his songs “Thriller”, “Billy Jean”, and “Beat It”. Even if you didn’t care for his music, you probably knew who this guy was.

But sometime in the 90s, he fell out of favor. Instead of a big, honored star, he slowly became a pathetic creature that some despised and others pitied.

So why in the world am I talking about Jell-O salads and Michael Jackson?

Here’s why–

Everything will fade away, except for God and His Word. There is no fad that will not fade. There is no movie star who will not grow old and wrinkled. There is no athlete who will stay fit enough to compete at the professional level. There is no car that will not eventually rust.

So why do we give so much time, efforts, money, and energy to these temporal things? We spend hours and hours of our time (and often quite a bit of of our money) —

~caring for our toys (cars, boats, etc.)

~watching popular tv shows and movies

~fishing and hunting

~watching and playing sports

~baking and crafting

~surfing the internet, checking out Facebook, tweeting on Twitter, and pinning on Pinterest

~primping (hair, nails, etc.)

Am I saying that it is wrong to do these things? Absolutely not –unless the thing we are spending our time doing is filled with the things that are offensive to God (as many of the current TV shows and movies are). No, I am not saying that doing these things is wrong, but I guess what I am saying is that perhaps we need to occasionally evaluate how we are spending our time and on what we are spending our money?

I find that if I don’t, on a regular basis, take a moment to evaluate where I am spending all of my time and my money, I will end up wasting a lot of both. It is so easy to invest our God-given resources on stuff that doesn’t matter in the long run.

Finding the balance –and it is a balance–can be tricky. Of course we have some temporal things we have to do, such as caring for our families and homes, caring for our own bodies, and going to work. We also have the opportunity for leisure time in this culture, used for building relationships and getting needed downtime to re-charge, which is such an incredible blessing.

I am not going to say what the balance is for you because I am still trying to figure out what it is for me.

No, I am not going to give a formula because it is probably different for everyone. But I do know that I, personally, waste more of my resources of time and money on temporal things than I should.

Have you thought about this recently? Or are you in a rut like I was–where you haven’t evaluated yourself for awhile? Most of what is popular and exciting today will be old and useless 100 years from now. The trends and styles will change. Everything will rust and fade away. Why do we get so wrapped up in the temporal?

Who is going to spread the gospel to our neighbors and friends, if not us? Who is going to know God’s Word and stand for Truth, if not us? Who is going to teach our children and teens about God, if not us? Who is going to know doctrine and minister in God’s church, if not us? Who is going to pray for revival, if not us? Who is going to tell the world about Jesus, if not us? Perhaps we should use more of our God-given blessings of time and money to live for Jesus Christ.

Only one life, the still small voice,
Gently pleads for a better choice
Bidding me selfish aims to leave,
And to God’s holy will to cleave;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past,
Only what’s done for Christ will last.

The Party on the Cruise Ship

Leave a Comment / September 5, 2013 September 5, 2013

It was a beautiful summer evening. The stars were starting to twinkle and the moon was shining brightly. The huge cruise ship sailed through the smooth waters, while the passengers drank and gambled and danced. It was like a giant party.

Meanwhile, a small fishing vessel bobbed nearby. The crew looked with envy and longing at the wonderful time the passengers on the ship seemed to be having. They could hear the laughter and the clinking of wine glasses. They saw young people swaying their bodies to the loud music and couples holding cocktails while they stared out at the sea. It all looked like such a good time. And it was. For awhile.

But, suddenly, a thunderous sound ripped through the night! It was the terrible sound of metal hitting rock. The ship shook and rocked and heaved. Glassed tumbled out of hands and broke as they hit the floor. Some of the partiers went flying over the side of the ship and fell into the cold, unforgiving sea at the sudden movement.

The crew on the little fishing boat watched with horror. The ship had sailed unsuspectingly into a group of rocks that sat treacherously just below the surface of the water. Suddenly, the night noises went from glee and happiness to terror and anguish.

Another fishing boat had been watching. The crew on that ship had watched with concern as they saw the ship steer closer and closer to the rocks they knew were underneath the water. They had tried to radio a warning. They had sent up flares. But all was done in naught. No one on the ship was paying attention.

Except for–over there–was someone waving? Why yes! There was one couple up on the third deck who had seen their warning. They called out to the small vessel and upon understanding the danger that was ahead, chose to heed the warning to get off of the ship in order to save their lives. After trying to warn their fellow passengers and finding themselves completely ignored, the young couple had lowered a life boat and rowed over to the fishing boat and climbed aboard. From this safe place, they joined the small crew in their efforts to save the ship.

Life had changed dramatically in just a few minutes for all on the cruise ship.

So what is the purpose of this little story?

The world is the cruise ship. They are having a great time but heading for sure disaster. And most of them, just like the ship passengers, have no idea.

If we are Christians, we are not on that big ship, nor should we long to be, for we know where it’s headed. Why do so many of us bob around in little boats, dissatisfied with the incredible blessings of a life lived at peace with God, and looking at the ship with envy and longing?

Why aren’t more of us sending up flares and sounding a warning?

Sure, we would never be able to turn the whole ship around but we could help some jump to safety. But most of us are so worried about being like those on the ship — partying it up, having a good time, and keeping temporal things our priority — that we do not bother with the lost souls on the ship. Many of us do not even give their horrible destiny a passing thought.

Why don’t we care?

What boat are you sailing in today? Are you part of the world’s party on the cruise ship having a good time but heading for disaster? Are you on a small boat looking at the world with envy and perhaps even trying to have your own version of the world’s diversions on your own little vessel? Or are you on a boat that is trying desperately to sound a warning and save as many as possible?

Where are you?

Wednesday Wisdom: By Our Love

Leave a Comment / September 4, 2013 September 4, 2013

Sometimes in our quest to stand for the truth, we can find it difficult to love others. We can’t understand why they don’t see things as we do and we get a little ruffled–or sometimes downright rude–when they don’t stand with us for biblical Truth. And so, in our grand efforts to stand for Jesus Christ, we defeat our purpose by lacking love in the process.

Jesus Christ is both Truth AND Love. We cannot present one without the other. They are like two sides of a coin and cannot be separated when we present the Gospel. They cannot be separated when we stand for biblical Truth.

I heard the song below in church on Sunday and the lyrics really made me think. So often we think that loving our fellow man means giving them the necessities of life to help them in their poverty-stricken state– and this is one way to love. But, perhaps, sometimes we need to bring it a little closer to home and think about how we are showing love with our words, our tone, and our attitudes, right here and right now. If we can’t show love in our own homes and churches, it is a little ridiculous to think we will be able to do so on a mission trip in a foreign land.

And so this song made me contemplate my own words and attitudes. Am I showing love in my passion for Biblical Truth? If not, then I am just like a clanging cymbal (I Corinthians 13:1) It is probably a good reminder for us all.

BY OUR LOVE (by Christy Nockels)

Brothers, let us come together
Walking in the Spirit, there’s much to be done…
We will come reaching, out from our comforts
And they will know us by our love…

Sisters, we were made for kindness
We can pierce the darkness as He shines through us…
We will come reaching, with a song of healing…
And they will know us by our love!

The time is now
Come Church arise…
Love with His hands
See with His eyes…
Bind it around you,
Let it never leave you,
And they will know us by our love…

Children, You are hope for justice,
Stand firm in the Truth now, set your hearts above
You will be reaching, long after we’re gone,
And they will know you by your love!

Find a beautiful youtube video of this song here.

God’s Faithfulness in the Small Stuff

4 Comments / September 3, 2013 May 23, 2020

We climbed in the truck at 6:30am for the 9 1/2 hour drive to our daughter’s university. The atmosphere was full of nervousness and excitement and sadness, as she nervously anticipated starting a new life there and I sadly contemplated how quickly she had grown up. But the trip was uneventful–at least for the first hour or two.

About a half hour in, my husband’s tooth started bothering him. He had mentioned having a toothache the night before, hoping it wouldn’t bother him over the weekend. Well, it did not take long for him to realize that it was going to bother him A LOT over the weekend. And so I began to use my iPad (how did I survive without that thing??) to find dentists who take emergency cases located in the vicinity of our destination.

I was just ready to start calling, when I looked over to see Eric in agony. “I really don’t think I can make it that far.” And thus began a crazy half hour of phone calls, figuring out where in the world we could go to relieve him of his pain as soon as possible and not lose too much time in the process.

After checking some reviews, I ended up calling a dental office in a town about 30 minutes from where we were. They would gladly see him, but could not get him in until 12:30 pm. It was only 10:30am. Oh, well. Eric was in severe pain by this time and we didn’t seem to have much of a choice. We plugged the address into the GPS and headed that direction.

Upon arriving at the dentist’s office, we found ourselves very pleasantly surprised! We were ushered into a small room to fill out paperwork in comfort. While there, the patient coordinator (an employee hired for the specific purpose of making patients and their families comfortable?!) handed us a free water bottle filled with chocolate candy. They treated us like royalty, quickly getting Eric in to see a dentist by 11:30am. While he was being seen, the patient coordinator, a petite middle-aged woman with a sweet demeanor, offered us drinks and homemade brownie bites. And so, while Eric was sitting in the dentist’s chair in misery, the girls and I were sitting on leather furniture, sipping coffee and gatorade, eating brownie bites and chocolate, and watching the fish in the two huge tanks they had in their office. It was quite the experience and totally unexpected. And, to top it off, they only charged us $50! We have no dental insurance so that was such a blessing.

The dentist prescribed an antibiotic and some pain killers to help with the infected tooth and so, after our adventure at the dentist, we made a stop at Target for the prescriptions, where we ate lunch simply out of the desire to save time. We were on the road again by about 12:30pm –the time of the original appointment.

It was disappointing to lose so much time, but God was so faithful in leading us to this particular dental office!

As we continued on our way, we were relieved to have that behind us. But an hour or two later, we ran into another problem. I was in my own little world, just looking out the window at the beautiful mountain scenery, when, all of a sudden, Eric’s serious voice told me to “turn off the music.”

I glanced at him and knew immediately that something was wrong. He started making his way over to the side of the road because the truck had completely lost power. He jumped out and lifted the hood of the truck. Now this always makes me nervous. I have heard of men being killed when looking at their vehicles parked along the road because of inattentive drivers. I hate when any of my family members are out of a vehicle alongside a major highway. I asked the Lord to protect him as he worked to fix the problem. I breathed a big sigh of relief when he climbed back into the truck. Not only was he safe, but he had fixed the problem (as he so often can–he is sort of amazing that way…)

On we went, on our way. It did happen once more, but this time he could hop out quickly and do what he knew to do, so it wasn’t quite as scary. Thankfully, after that, it did not happen again (until the way home–but that is another story…)

Again, God showed His faithfulness to us.

As we moved closer to our destination, we ran into more and more Labor Day traffic. We were delayed by at least four official accidents, but we mostly never could figure out why the traffic was crawling along at a snail’s pace, to free up, to slow down again. It was so strange.

Until it was all said and done, we lost at least two hours due to traffic, making our total trip time (including the “dental” delay) fourteen very long hours.

As we moved closer to the college, we planned to park our truck and 5th wheel in a huge parking lot near the girls’ dorms but across a highway. The question that still needed to be answered was: how do we get all of her stuff to the dorm?

God was faithful yet again! Two families we know from home pulled up shortly after we arrived (texting had told them of our arrival time) and one family piled all of the stuff in their large van and went with Eric to the dorm and the other family took my daughter and me over to the building where she could register.

I cannot tell you the warm feeling I felt upon arriving at a strange place at night time and seeing friendly faces ready to help however necessary.

That day showed us that God is faithful even in the midst of great frustration that is very temporal in nature. Sometimes, seeing Him in the small stuff can really help us to trust Him with the really big issues that come up in life.

Yes, that was a rough trip down. It could have gone much better but we were vividly reminded that it could have gone much worse, as we passed all of those accidents along the way.

Yes, God was with us through the whole entire fourteen long hours–even when things weren’t going quite the way we wanted them to– because He is faithful!

And sometimes in life we find that we are the one in the accident or the one with the broken-down vehicle that’s sitting alongside the road. I have been there and done both. But even then God has proved His faithfulness.

Nothing can happen to us without God’s knowledge. Nothing can happen to us that will remove us from His care. And so we can trust our Heavenly Father as we ride the roller coaster of life because…

He is faithful!

Are You Pregnant?

2 Comments / August 29, 2013 May 20, 2016

Sometimes this American culture that we find ourselves in feels just a bit surreal to me. Yes, we are in a culture where celebrities gyrate in obscene ways on our TV screens and the general population, which includes more than a few Christians, feels comfortable watching it. Yes, we are in a culture where our college kids are thrown together into co-ed dorms to romp and play for four years (of course, I know there are moral kids in co-ed dorms who do not do this but just the fact that it is allowed is just so wrong). Yes, we are in a culture where college professors hold seminars on sexual activities I wouldn’t even dare write about here. And yes, we are in a culture that praises–maybe even worships–sexual freedom and touts abortion as the answer to any unwanted consequences of that freedom. The whole thing makes me just a little sick to my stomach.

How can this be?

But it is. So what now? How do we respond to this crazy, sexually saturated culture?

Well, for starters, we have to be different. And if we are, we will definitely be noticed, and oftentimes, not even believed.

I was reminded of this, once again, when I went to the doctor with one of my daughters. The doctor came in and asked all of the proverbial questions. Do you smoke? No. Do you drink? No Do you use illicit drugs? No. Are you pregnant? No.

Are you sure? Have you been tested?

My daughter looked at her, speechless, and then looked at me. I piped up. NO, she hasn’t had sex. She can’t be pregnant.

The doctor then stated very matter-of-factly that many young girls lie about this in front of their parents, which I am sure is very true. This type of conversation was not new to me. I have had it before with doctors and I am sure I will have it again.

“No, I am not interested in Gardisil for my daughter because she is not sexually active.”

“Well, I know that is what you would like to believe, but…”

“Actually, I trust her.”

Usually after this conversation–and I’ve had this same conversation with the same doctor three times–the doctor (whom we like very much) kind of sighs and moves on to the next topic. I know that he does not have the same faith in my daughters that I have. But then, he also does not have the same faith in the one and only true God that my daughters and I have, either. Of course he is skeptical.

Now, I know how easy it is for kids to make mistakes in this area of sex and it does happen. And if it would happen to one of my kids, I would continue to love and support them, anyway. But I also know that my kids have committed to remain pure before marriage. But if you say this to any health professional they look at you like you (and your kids) have two heads and then treat you as if you just lied to them. My kids also experience this in the work world. I am sure your young people have had the same experiences if they have stood for what is right in this area. Many are the Christian boys and girls who are ridiculed because they have chosen to wait to have sex until they are married, while their peers share their “fascinating” sexual experiences with one another.

Can I just go on record saying it is possible to wait for sex until you are married? I know because I have done it. I don’t say this in a self-righteous kind of way but in a To God Be the Glory kind of way. And, yes, I stayed pure 25 years ago but there are many who follow through on this commitment in this present, treacherous age–young people who love the Lord and each other more than they love themselves.

I would also like to go on record saying that I have never, ever been sorry for waiting. I have only one body to give and I have always been very thankful that I waited to give that body to the love of my life, my husband.

Why do we treat teenagers and twenty-somethings like they have impulses they cannot control? I just don’t get it. But I digress.

I can’t help but wonder if those boys and girls who stand against the strong tide of sexual impurity aren’t admired and envied for their perseverance? Oh, it will rarely be said, but deep down inside there are many who can only wish they had waited, while they pick up the broken pieces of their hearts and lives.

The point–the whole point– is that, as believers, we are called to be holy, which in its very essence, makes us very different from those around us. And this particular topic–the biblical view of sex– goes against the flow in this current culture big-time. As believers, we should stand for godly marriage, waiting for sex until marriage, modest dress, and sexual purity in the movies we watch, the books we read, and the music we listen to.

And while we work to remain pure ourselves, we need to encourage others on towards purity and continue to love even when there are mistakes. We won’t make any difference in the world at all if we stay in our own little worlds pointing fingers at everyone. This world needs to hear that the life God calls us to as believers is about love and grace and holiness and blessing.

This culture is absolutely sex-crazy. Unless you move to a remote cabin in the woods somewhere, you can’t escape it. It is a strange land we find ourselves in. But we need to keep our eyes on the Lord and show that there is a different–a better–way to live. We need to show that not only is it possible to be sexually pure, but it is a blessing! We don’t have to be like the world. In fact, it is quite imperative that we are not like the world. And when we stand strong in this area of sexual purity, we will shine like a brilliant lighthouse in the midst of a very stormy sea.

Wednesday Wisdom: A Well in the Wilderness

2 Comments / August 28, 2013 August 28, 2013

I received a bit of bad news regarding my health last week. Oh, it could have been much worse, but it was certainly discouraging to say the least. As I have been processing the ramifications of the news, I shared my discouragement with my sister-in-law. She sent me this. It is written by Susannah Spurgeon, wife of the famous C.H. Spurgeon. After doing a little investigating, I found out that Susannah became an invalid around the age of 33. This is an amazing testimony of faith. May we all have this attitude in the midst of trials.

“It shall not seem hard unto thee.”—Deut. xv. 18.

DEAR LORD, I have this morning lighted upon one of the secret springs of sweet waters; an ancient, hidden well in the wilderness, which Thy love, as it were, kept covered up and concealed, till my great need moved Thee to open my eyes to discover it. How precious has Thy thought been to me, Oh Lord! How strengthening and refreshing are these “cold waters to a thirsty soul,” which Thou hast thus made to break forth in a strange place! For I thought I was suffering a hard thing, Lord, in the dealings and discipline which Thou hast seen necessary for me; and, though Thy grace kept me from openly murmuring and complaining, my inner self constantly cried out, “This is hard, Lord, this is very hard.”

But now Thou sayest, “No, My child, it must not even seem hard unto thee. Thy trust in Me should be so perfect, thy faith in My love so strong, thy obedience to My will so complete, that nothing should seem grievous which I appoint, no trial that I send should affright or overwhelm thee. Have I not always been to thee ‘a very present help in trouble’? “Lord, my heart says, “Amen!” to Thy gracious words, and then trusts Thee to work all this loving obedience in me by Thine own mighty power.

“IT shall not seem hard unto thee.” The peculiar trial through which I may now be passing, is the very “it” which must not seem hard to me. God’s bow is never drawn at a venture; He makes no mistakes, either in telling the number of the stars, or in meting out to me the griefs which shall teach me to glorify Him. And, dear reader, if you would find comfort from the words which so comforted me, you must look upon your present trouble, whatever it may be, and say, “Lord, this shall not seem hard to me, for I have received so much bounty and blessing from Thee, I have known so much of Thy pity and pardoning love, that I dare not mistrust Thee, or question for a moment the Divine wisdom of Thy dealings with me.” Ah! our eyes are so dimmed by earth’s fogs and shadows that we cannot see clearly enough to distinguish good from evil and if left to ourselves, might embrace a curse rather than a blessing. Poor purblind mortals that we are, it is well for us that our Master should choose our trials for us, even though to our imperfect vision He seems sometimes to have appointed a hard thing.

III that God blesses turns to good,

While unblest good is ill,

And all is right that seems most wrong,

If it be His sweet will.”

Yes, it is in absolute and loving surrender to the will of the Lord that the secret of true rest and peace is found. This is the alchemy which turns earth’s sorrows into Heaven’s blessings; here is the antidote to every sting, the cure-all of each care, the unfailing remedy for all disquietude. Dear Lord, if I am Thy child, trusting, loving, obeying Thee, how can Thy will for me seem “hard”? Nay, rather, I should joyfully meet and welcome it, well knowing that Thy love to me could only send a message of peace, however dark might be the envelope which enwrapped it.

This comfort cannot apply to troubles which we make for ourselves, and which we sometimes glorify into spiritual hardships, when they are really selfish sins; these are not God’s will for us, but our own perverse way, and they bring nothing better than bitterness and tears. But a God-given burden or sorrow, carried out into the sunshine of His love, and laid at His blessed feet, immediately loses all its “hardness”, and is transformed into a blessing, for which our soul praises the Lord with tender thanksgiving.

“It shall not seem hard unto thee.” Ah! dear Master, it must grievously pain Thy loving heart when we, Thine own redeemed ones, think any of Thy dealings with us harsh or stern. Thou hast loved us from everlasting, Thou didst not spare Thine own Son when a ransom was required for our souls, Thou hast led us, and fed us, and cared for us all our life long; can we be so wicked and ungrateful as to deem anything “hard” which Thy wisdom and love appoint?

“It shall not seem hard unto thee” Since this precious text rippled from the pages of God’s Word, like “a brook by the way,” I have been drinking of its waters with great joy! and when a trouble, great or small, oppresses my soul, and causes my heart to faint within me, I take another draught from this sweet spring, and soon am ready to say, ” ‘Tis no longer hard, Lord, for ‘I am filled with comfort, I am exceeding joyful in all our tribulation.’ ”

If-Then

2 Comments / August 26, 2013 August 31, 2024

I never, ever leave my car windows open. It has been as much a habit to close the windows as to unbuckle my seatbelt when I get out of my car. And so when we were awakened by a deafening crack of thunder the other night, the only thing on my mind was my computers. As I lay in my bed listening to the heavy rains gush down I had one thought: Should I go unplug them? In the end, I decided not to, as the worst seemed to be over and I just didn’t want to cross the dark parking lot in the heavy rain to reach the office computers.

Imagine my surprise when I stepped outside the next morning to find my car windows down and the car seats absolutely drenched! I thought back to the day before and I remembered that I had come home from Sam’s Club with a ton of groceries that needed unloaded. I had gotten distracted and had forgotten to close the windows.

But there are certain natural laws we cannot change. Such as: IF I do not want wet car seats, THEN I must close the windows.

I can’t wish this away or pray it away or change it. It is what it is.

It reminds me a little of a conversation I had with a young lady one time. She expressed to me her deep desire for a godly husband and her discouragement at finding one. However, when looking at her Facebook page, I saw her pictured in bikinis and drinking alcohol. She did not give the impression that she was a godly young woman. But here is the thing–

IF you desire a godly husband, THEN you must be a godly woman.

I think so often we want good things, but we aren’t willing to take the necessary steps to get what we want. This young lady certainly isn’t alone. I, myself, have been guilty of this many times. For instance–

IF I desire a healthy body, THEN I must eat right and exercise.

IF I desire to know God, THEN I must study His Word.

IF I desire to have a clean and organized house, THEN I must be willing to clean and organize.

We can’t get around these natural laws, but we sure do try, don’t we? We want clean houses without working, great bodies without effort, and a close relationship with God without trying. But all of these are impossible without taking the necessary steps.

I remember watching the show “Bewitched” an occasion or two when I was little. Seeing Sam twitch her nose made me slightly envious. Who wouldn’t want her ability to mold her circumstances to fulfill her desires without any effort on her part aside from a little wiggle of her nose? But, in case you haven’t figured this out already, that isn’t real.

We’d like to think it is with our positive thinking and selfish prayers, but the bottom line is that most times our goals just take good, old-fashioned hard work.

Of course, once in a great while, I guess there are exceptions. But I am not really sure I know of any.

No, if you want to know God, then you need to study His Word. If you want a healthy body then you need to eat right and exercise, and if you want a clean house, you either need to either do it yourself or give up your hard-earned money and pay someone else to do it. Either way, these things are going to cost you something.

Scripture talks about this in a short little verse in 2 Thessalonians (3:10) For even when we were with you, we commanded you this: If anyone will not work, neither shall he eat.

We live in a world that wants everything for free. We want the whole world but we don’t want to pay anything for it.

This applies to jobs, finances, health, raising children, our family relationships…actually, almost all areas of life.

I think it is important that we examine our lives in light of this thought. Am I willing to do the work necessary to have the things I desire and then leave the rest in the Lord’s hands? Of course, sometimes godly women do not find godly husbands. Sometimes healthy bodies get diseased. But, outside of the things we can’t control, are we trying our best or are we just throwing our hands up in the air and crying “this is impossible!” because we aren’t willing to do the work?

It is certainly something to think about, isn’t it?

Subtle Changes

6 Comments / August 22, 2013 August 22, 2013

Yesterday was the first day of school. It wasn’t just any first day of school around here. It was the first year that A) only one of my four children is actually going to school and B) The child in school started high school.

The funny thing is that I remember calculating the years of school when my kids were little, counting on my fingers and figuring out the year each child would graduate from high school and realizing that our baby would be in high school for four years by herself. But, at that time, this time seemed miles away, like a distant mountain far off on the horizon. But even the furthest mountain is reached by walking one step at a time.

And those steps have been walked, the days have been lived, and the time is here. I am having a hard time wrapping my brain around this–as most moms do, I guess. As I was thinking about this yesterday, I started wondering–

When did I stop keeping wet wipes in the car?

When did I stop asking for a kids’ menu?

When did I stop arranging life around naps?

When did I stop tucking my kids in bed?

As is often the case, I don’t remember the last times I did any of these things. It was just a gradual shift until one day it wasn’t a part of my life anymore.

Sometimes life changes suddenly and we feel overwhelmed and shipwrecked, but more often life changes subtly and imperceptibly–until one day you realize that you no longer have to buy diapers or get up at night. You don’t have to pack lunches or kiss boo-boos anymore. You no longer have to carpool or spend a fortune at the grocery store or wait up at night for the last child to be in for the night (Actually I am still doing all of the things in the last sentence for now and I find myself quite thankful for them as I write this post! So much is in our perspective, isn’t it??)

My youngest daughter is a little sad that she is so far behind our other three kids, who are now out of high school and pursuing their futures. But me? Well, I’m not sad at all. The funny thing is that we had actually planned to have a smaller gap between those last two, but God thought His timing was better and she ended up coming a year later than we planned. How thankful I am that God saw fit to give her to us and to wisely time it so that this time of life would be just a little easier on me.

Life is changing…always changing. Sometimes we can’t wait for the change and then it changes and we realize just how much we didn’t really want it to change. My husband assures me that I will even miss this stage after it is over. I am sure he is right. As frustrating and full of adjustments as it is, I will probably miss it when it’s gone.

I’d like to say that I have been able to appreciate every moment of motherhood but I haven’t. And, being human, I can’t. But I have enjoyed and continue to enjoy precious moments with my children full of fun and laughter and good conversations. We have had lots of good times.

Perhaps one of the keys to contentment is to enjoy the good times that we are in right now and not to take the hard times too seriously. After all, when it is all over, we mostly remember the good times, don’t we?

I don’t have any serious spiritual lesson for today. Today I am just a mother, aching just a bit over the loss of her life as she has known it and seeing much more change up ahead, trying to figure what it all will mean for my life and how to deal with it.

Of course, it is not helping that my other “baby” is headed to college next week. *sigh* While I do find great joy in watching my kids discover God’s will for their lives, it is bittersweet. How well I remember those exciting days of growing up and finding my own life but I guess I never did realize what it must have meant for my own mother.

Who knew there would be so much emotion attached to this time of life?

Wednesday Wisdom: The Beauty of Marriage

1 Comment / August 21, 2013 August 21, 2013

It seems appropriate to take a moment and focus on marriage today, as my husband and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary yesterday. It feels like it was just last week that we were two excited kids getting started on our life together…and yet it feels like a lifetime ago. During those years we have grown and changed and evolved into two very different people than when we started. It really is a miracle that two people can love each other and live together in peace (most of the time!) for so long. We are both sinners who still struggle against selfishness and pride on a very frequent basis. Unfortunately, “sinners” do not magically become “non-sinners” the day they say “I do”. Both Eric and I will attest that it takes a lot of love, forgiveness, humility, and communication to make our marriage enjoyable. Most of all, the success of our marriage depends on taking every issue we face back to God and His Word, always using it as our guide.

But this is Wednesday Wisdom, which means I bring someone else’s writing to you instead of my own. And so I would like to share a paragraph I found in a book entitled What’s It Like to Be Married to Me? I thought it summed up, quite nicely, the beauty of marriage–

Emotional intimacy is being “naked and unashamed.” To be fully known; my darkest thoughts, hateful words, biggest disappointments, and greatest fears—and yet be fully loved and accepted. To know that I have given my heart to my husband, that he takes seriously the role of protector; that he is careful with my heart. And I am careful with his heart. It is knowing him so well and having such a deep understanding of him that I can trust him beyond circumstances. It is being so entwined with one another, yet so different, that we are like one plant putting off two very different blooms.

Dillow, Linda (2011-02-01). What’s It Like to Be Married to Me?: And Other Dangerous Questions (p.89-90). David C Cook. Kindle Edition.

Taking advantage of grace

2 Comments / August 19, 2013 August 19, 2013

It was a beautiful day to be at the art show. My eyes took in the creativity around me. There were simple folk-art items and detailed oil paintings. There were homemade handbags and clever metal sculptures. But it was the exquisitely crafted jewelry that caught my eye and drew me into the booths. I am always looking for the “perfect” pair of earrings. I never find them, but I keep looking. It was at just one such booth that I found myself having a pleasant conversation with the artist and her husband. Her work was beautiful but very expensive. I browsed with no intent to buy. I complimented her on her talent. The conversation went something like this–

Me: “Your work is beautiful.”

Artist: “Thank you!”

Man (with friendly smile): “You are welcome to try on any piece.”

Me (laughing): “Oh, my. Thank you but my husband would kill me if I spent that much on a piece of jewelry!” (I was slightly exaggerating with this statement).

Man (half-joking): “Well, you do know it is easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.”

Me (still laughing but very serious): “Not if you want a happy marriage.”

After a bit more banter, I walked away. But I couldn’t help thinking more on his joke about how to get my own way.

I could have bought a piece of that lovely jewelry. My husband, while he would have been a bit upset with me, would have quickly gotten over it. It would not have destroyed our marriage and probably would not have even destroyed our day. But I love him more than that. I want his permission and his blessing and I seek both before spending a large amount of money. He does the same with me. We do this because we love each other.

As I mulled this conversation over in my mind a few hours later, a light bulb came on in my head.

We do this with God all the time.

We want our own way. And, yet, we know in scripture that what we want is forbidden. We know God has either expressly forbidden the exact action or that He hates the sin that is associated with the particular activity we would like to participate in. But we go ahead and do it, anyway.

Because it’s easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.

We can get our own way, be forgiven, and we honestly believe that all is well.

But is it?

If I would have bought that necklace against my husband’s wishes, it would have symbolized that something is not quite right in our relationship. It would have been a sign that I consider my wants and desires more important than his. And I would have been taking advantage of the grace and forgiveness I knew that he would have extended under the circumstances.

This same principle can be applied to our relationship with Christ. When we involve ourselves in sin of any kind on purpose, we are telling Christ that we don’t care about his desires. We are saying that our desires are number one. And we are taking advantage of his grace and forgiveness.

But let’s not forget: True love does not take advantage.

You know, according to the modern church, many things fall under the “gray” area in the Christian life today. Movies, music, dancing, gambling, personal debt, and drinking are some of the many things that fall under the wide, expansive “gray” area that is “permissible for some Christians but not for others.”

But is there actually this big “gray” area or is there simply a church taking advantage of God’s grace? A bunch of people who say they love Christ with their mouths but it never quite reaches their hearts?

I am reminded of something I read the other day–

“It is amazing how clear lifestyle issues–often called gray areas by many believers–become when examined against the commitment to be thoroughly Christ-centered.” (Jim Berg)

Love and commitment truly do bring clarity to these areas of our lives. We either show our love for our Savior with our choices or we don’t. There isn’t much in between.

And if we all are honest with ourselves, we know whether or not the TV show we watched last night or the music that we listened to on the way to work or the book we finished last night was pleasing to God. We know if the words we spoke to our spouse before they left this morning or the way we handled the accidentally spilled juice last night was pleasing to Him. We know if what we ate, drank, and played yesterday was glorifying to God or it wasn’t.

Oh, we will never be sinless and we will constantly be confessing and asking for forgiveness. And God’s marvelous grace is available for those moments. But as we grow in Christ, our desire to willingly do something that we know will not please Him should grow weaker and weaker. Our desire for sin will diminish as our love for Him grows.

Our choices are the evidence of just how close our relationship is with the Savior. But most Christians today are not interested in hearing this. Instead, we want to do our own thing and be forgiven for it. We want to take advantage of grace. When you really stop to think about it, that is a pretty tragic thought.

Yes, it is easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask permission but that is not love.