Growing 4 Life

Building and Protecting

Leave a Comment / February 24, 2014 February 24, 2014

We humans want the easy way. Water always flows in the path of least resistance. The river flows downstream. It’s easier to walk down a hill than up a hill. It’s easier to sit on the couch than it is to get up and exercise. This is life.

This past weekend our landscape company took three and a half days to set up a huge garden display at a garden show. It took hours and hours of preparation and many man hours to get it set up just right. Every plant was placed with care, every block laid carefully, and the covering of mulch was perfected. By Thursday afternoon we were all pleasantly exhausted, knowing that we had done our best and it looked great. It was very rewarding.

Of course, that feeling of reward lasted only a few brief days. Today–just three short days after we put it all up– we tore it all down in a few hours.

I just can’t help but think about the similarity of this to life. Almost everything worth having is going to cost us something — hard work, sacrifice, self-denial, etc. Healthy bodies, healthy marriages, healthy families, healthy budgets do not happen with an “easy” button.

And all of that hard work and sacrifice — for a healthy body, a healthy marriage, a healthy family, a healthy budget– can be utterly destroyed in a few brief moments.

Building something takes months, sometimes years. We have to carefully protect that for which we have worked so hard!

This is why it is so important that we be on guard at all times, keeping our feet firmly rooted in the soil of God’s Word, so that we can withstand temptation. It says in I Corinthians 10:13 that there will always be a way of escape for any temptation we face. But if we are not walking in the Spirit, learning God’s Word, then we have no right to expect that way of escape.

And so the concrete space that was a beautiful garden just a few short hours before today gives evidence to the fact that building up takes much more effort than tearing down. It’s a great reminder for all of life.

Most of us are sparrows

2 Comments / February 20, 2014 July 7, 2023

I remember, a long time ago, hearing someone say that they hate to put bird seed out for “just” common sparrows and house finches. It was not very gratifying and they much preferred the gold finches and blue jays and cardinals–for those species are the super stars of the bird world, are they not? No one cares much about the plain brown birds. Because they are so common and ordinary.

But as I have watched the birds this winter, I was hit with the thought that most of us are sparrows. We are ordinary people, born to do ordinary things. I know this statement is very un-politically correct in this world of ” you can be anything you want to be” (which just is not the truth, by the way). But, while some of us will go on to do amazing and extra-ordinary things with our lives, most of us will remain ordinary.

It brings to mind a recent conversation I had with my brother, a pastor of a small church in Ohio. We were talking about what God expects of us. As Christians, we can start feeling pressure to do BIG things for the Lord. After all, aren’t we quite useless if we aren’t in the pastorate or on the mission field or at least in some form of Christian ministry? Aren’t we useless to Christ is we haven’t adopted an orphan or given huge sums of money to help supply clean water to people who have none?

While all of these things are GREAT things and highly recommended, we do not have to do these things to please our Lord. Now if we are called to do these things, we’d better obey. But not all of us are called. What we are all called to do each and every day is to walk in the Spirit (Galatians 5:16). Whether we are making a meal, mowing the lawn, doing the laundry, going to work, or playing with the kids, we are to do it as unto the Lord (Colossians 3:23).

This is the heart of the transformed Christian life. This is the life God calls all of us to– a life of submission and obedience, wherever He has placed us.

Let us not place so much of our energy and time on the things we are going to do for Jesus someday that we forget how we are to live for Him right now, smack-dab in the midst of ordinary.

The Very Easy Extremely Hard Way to Stand Out

2 Comments / February 17, 2014 February 17, 2014

When we Christians talk about standing out as salt and light in the world, many different things come to mind–

We need to love, for the world hates.

We need to be peacemakers, for the world is full of anger.

We need to love righteousness, for the world loves evil.

We need to be pure, for the world is dirty.

But God has been teaching me that there is another way that we need to stand out to the world around us. May I suggest that one easy {but extremely hard} way to stand out is to–

Rest calmly with a heart of gratitude in God’s sovereignty, for the world complains…and complains…and complains.

What a testimony this is to unbelievers.

And, if we are honest, how rare for Christians to do this.

Well, let me speak for myself. Maybe you have this down, but I certainly do not. For instance, when someone I know well asks me how I am today, it is very normal for me to begin a conversation by mentioning something that is wrong in my life right now. I try to put a positive spin on it, but it is still a thinly veiled complaint and I know it and God knows it.

I am reading through the Bible this year (yes, pleeease hold me accountable! I am determined to finish it! I would so appreciate an e-mail now and again asking me how I am doing!) and I have been very struck by how God handled the Israelites when they complained. In several incidents, the punishment was–get this–DEATH. They were struck down forever via plagues and fire and snakes because of a complaining spirit (Numbers 11:1-3; 21:4-6). Now there were times that they complained that God had mercy (Exodus 15-18) and supplied these whining people with their requests. But the Israelites seemed to make complaining a habit and it is obvious that God took this very seriously.

As I reflect on the seriousness of this sin, I wonder how often I complain without even realizing it? This winter, especially, I think there are many of us who are tired of the snow, tired of the cold, weary with being stuck inside, some of us caring for family members who are sick or perhaps we are fighting illnesses ourselves. If we aren’t careful, we may begin to believe that these kinds of moments in our lives give us the “right” to complain.

But if anyone had a right to complain, it would have been the Israelites. I don’t want to be too hard on them. Here I am in my warm, safe home with lots of variety to eat, modern medicine to help heal and comfort me, and technology to keep me entertained and I still complain. They were wandering in the hot desert and eating only manna and quail. I might have complained, too.

And, so, my conclusion is that we can truly stand out as a Christian if we do not complain. Instead, let us be motivated by a heart of gratitude. For it is impossible to speak a complaint and a thank you in the same breath. Let us be a light in this way to the very dark, incessantly complaining world around us. And, most importantly, let us remember that complaining is a very great offense to our Holy God.

Bird in a Blizzard

2 Comments / February 13, 2014 February 13, 2014

As I looked out my window at the blowing snow this morning, I couldn’t help but notice the four little sparrows hopping around our bird feeder. One was on the feeder, while it blew in the wind, and three were on the ground below, their feathers all fluffed out as they searched for fallen seeds. The temperatures are cold this morning–26 degrees Fahrenheit– and I know I wouldn’t want to be outside. And I couldn’t help thinking–

I’m so glad I’m not a bird today.

But then I remembered that God created them with very specific features. They have exactly what they need to survive this day.

And so the sparrows that sit in the trees and sing on warm summer mornings are the same sparrows that have to endure winter. But God has prepared them and, most likely, they will survive to see summer come again.

Thinking about this made me realize that God will prepare you and me for whatever winters come our way, as well. I was talking with some friends the other day about the great Christians who have been martyred in other times and other lands. As we talked we pondered about the possibility of that happening in our country and whether or not we would have the strength to stand for what is right if it came. I said, “God would give us the grace. He promises to give us the grace.” But as I said it, inside my head I wondered a bit. Would He really??

And then this morning He showed me the birds. And I knew. He will prepare us for whatever is to come. He will not leave us or forsake us through the dark valleys that are ahead. Just as the birds have been prepared for their winters, so will we be prepared for ours. If we are a true believer and Jesus Christ has saved us, then we can rest in this thought.

This Is the Day

4 Comments / February 10, 2014 February 10, 2014

As I have muddled through the last few days, I have struggled. The winter has been long and filled with snow and ice. It has been absolutely frigid and cloudy most days and now I am fighting a cold. It is starting to feel like spring will never arrive.

But then God reminded me that He has made this day and I am to rejoice in it (Psalm 118:24). These days. This winter. And I have to continue to be faithful even when all I feel like doing is putting on sweatpants, wrapping up in a blanket, and watching TV.

There are no conditions attached to this verse. Wouldn’t it be easier for our flesh if there were?

This is the day the Lord hath made, rejoice if everything is going your way or rejoice if you got that promotion you wanted, or rejoice if the sun is shining.

But, as much as we would like to, we can find no conditions attached to this verse. We are to rejoice in each new day God grants us.

The best way to get a good start on our day is to get up with these words on our lips: “This is the day the Lord hath made, I will rejoice and be glad in it!”

There is lot to be done and I am to do it cheerfully! How much easier is this task if I acknowledge that, no matter what the day brings I can rejoice, knowing that God is in control and that I can rest in His hands, trusting Him.

And, ironically, it is when I can fight my flesh and actively accomplish my work for the day, I am energized and fulfilled. On the other hand, when I give in to my fleshly cravings and lay around all day, I am filled with lethargy and a vague sense of dissatisfaction.

So which will it be today? I choose to rejoice!

I am so thankful that God cares enough about me to remind me that He has made this day and that I am to rejoice in it!

Thankless Jobs

6 Comments / February 6, 2014 February 6, 2014

As my husband crawled into bed last night, exhausted after several nights of little sleep and hours and hours out in the cold, he said these words to me: “There is one thing about snow removal. It is such a thankless job.”

He went on to talk about his day and the lack of gratitude he gets in the snow removal business. I dealt with my own end of that this past week, where the east has been coated in snow and ice. I am the lucky girl who gets to take the phone calls. And, trust me, people do not call to say how awesome of a job we did. It is always a complaint. Mostly by people who aren’t very kind as they express their frustrations. Now, I will say this, some people are very nice when they call and that helps so much. And I am also thankful that we have an AWESOME crew who does a GREAT job and so the calls are fairly infrequent. But it does remind me of a couple of things —

1. We need to thank someone who does something we take for granted. Someone is working hard, often during the hours you are asleep, so that you can get to work tomorrow or walk safely on the sidewalks leading into the bank or the grocery store. If you see them out working, tell them you appreciate them. But this isn’t just about snow removal. Think about other thankless jobs people do each and every day and then intentionally start thanking those people.

2. We need to do our duty, with or without the praise of men. Sometimes we find ourselves relying on someone saying thank you or good job and when it doesn’t come we get discouraged and want to quit. But Colossians 3:23-24 says And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ. Yes! We serve the Lord, not man. Whether we are doing the dishes, plowing snow, or collecting garbage, we are to do it out of a heart of love for our Lord.

And so the long winter continues, but it has not been without its life lessons and good reminders. And while I am thankful for what God is teaching me, I do find myself longing for the sunny summer days. I guess they will come soon enough.

The Gray-Spotted Beetle

Leave a Comment / February 3, 2014 January 27, 2015

Since I don't have a picture of this unique car, I figured I'd create my own! — Since I don’t have a picture of this unique car, I figured I’d create my own!

We had the special privilege of gathering with my parents for a meal over the weekend. We started reminiscing a bit and my father took special pleasure in bringing up one of those memories that teen-aged grandkids just love to hear about their parents!

I was a junior in high school and I had just left play practice. I was speeding along home, going quite fast–probably because I was never one to dawdle along. When it was time to go home, I wanted to get there as soon as possible. I was (and continue to be) someone who moves with purpose. Sometimes that makes following the speed limit a challenge for me! ;)

ANYWAY…as I was speeding along home in my parent’s dark blue VW Beetle I spotted a car in my rear view mirror. As it got closer to me, my heart sank. That car looked suspiciously like my father’s car, an old yellow VW beetle covered with gray spots, made by the primer used to cover the rust spots until it could be given a proper paint job. Trust me, it was a one-of-a-kind car, making it easy for me to realize that I was probably in a bit of trouble!

And I was not disappointed. When I arrived home, I was given a much needed lecture on why I shouldn’t go so fast. And while I do not really remember the lecture or anything after spotting that car in my mirror, I do vividly remember the moment I spotted that car.

Because at that moment, everything changed. The person who was the authority in my life was watching me. I loved my father deeply and did not want him to be disappointed in me. And he was disappointed in me. I instinctively knew this.

It was a good lesson for the teen-aged me. We need to remember that, at any given time, your father may be watching you!

But there’s more. As you may have guessed.

As I pondered this story from long ago, I was reminded of my tendency to forget that God is always watching me. He sees when I talk in an unpleasant tone to my husband. He hears my angry voice or my crude language. He sits and watches TV with me and He is in my car, listening to my music. He knows if I am honoring Him with my time, my money, and my body. Because He knows everything.

I think if I could remember this, I would be much more prone to be more careful with my choices. Oh, how disappointed He must be in me so many times! I hate to disappoint my heavenly father even more than I hated disappointing my earthly father. And yet I do it again and again, so easily forgetting that nothing goes unseen.

Just like the 16 year old, speeding along, was reminded of the fact that her father could be watching at any moment, we need to be reminded that our heavenly Father is always watching us. May we be ever-conscious of this as we live each moment.

It’s An Exciting Time To Be a Christian!

Leave a Comment / January 28, 2014 January 28, 2014

I just saw an article on Facebook about how the government is spying on us using apps like Angry Birds and Google Maps.

In the last several weeks, incidents of random shootings at malls and grocery stores and on the highway have been a regular occurrence.

People, who call themselves Christians, are aligning themselves with worldly philosophies and practices at a record number with little resistance from solid, Bible-believing folks.

SELF has become god and most of us are all about seeking pleasure, comfort, power, and money. Even many of us Christians have fallen prey to this.

Children aren’t taught to obey and we are starting to reap the fruits of this in our schools and our communities.

The video game, movie, and music industries fill our minds with anti-God philosophies, while we just sit idly by, oftentimes using our God-given money to purchase it.

False teachers have infiltrated almost every aspect of the true church and have been warmly welcomed in the name of unity.

Wars and Rumors of Wars are in the news almost constantly.

This reminds me of 2 Timothy 3:1-5:

But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: 2 For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, 3 unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, 4 traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away!

Matthew 24 also comes to mind.

As I read through these passages the other day, I realized something: We are HERE. We are in the last days. I don’t know if they will last a month or a hundred years, but they are here.

The puzzle pieces are starting to come together like never before —

We can now see how the mark will be a computerized chip lodged just below the skin.

We can understand how the witnesses will be seen across the world — an absolute puzzle to generations before us who never even heard of satellites.

We can understand how Israel will desperately need the peace treaty with the antichrist.

We can see how, right before our eyes, a one-world religion is forming, pushed through by many “evangelicals”, surprisingly.

We are watching the formation of a cashless society develop, which will eventually lead to a one world economy.

We can see the downfall of America, as it weakens and corrodes from within. America can’t be strong in the end–we aren’t even mentioned in the Bible. And it looks like we are losing our influence and power at a record pace.

And while all of this is slightly frightening, it is also INCREDIBLY exciting! Fellow Christians, if you believe the Bible with all your heart and soul, we are living in a time where we are seeing prophecy being fulfilled right before our eyes! It is truly amazing.

Most Christians do not want to think about the end days. But John tells us in Revelation 1:3 that we are blessed if we read and and hear the words of the prophecy contained in Revelation. We aren’t just to push this book aside, because the time is near. If it was near two thousand years ago, can you imagine how much closer we are now?

I repeat: It is an incredible time to be a Christian! Let’s not forget that, amidst our discouragement and fear. We know the ending of this story and we are on the winning side!

Please note: It seems as if Facebook has been stone-walling me. If you like this post (or any of my posts), I would be very appreciative if you would share them. Thank you :)

Parenting 101: Being a “Great” Grandparent

2 Comments / January 24, 2014 January 24, 2014

Of course, as you know, I am not a grandparent. At least not yet! But my husband and I are looking forward to those days (after all, as I always say, if you are going to be old you may as well enjoy it!) I am sure some of my readers have some good input to give on this topic of grand-parenting. I would love to hear your thoughts and ideas in the comments after this post.

From my perspective as a parent of a grandchild, I can think of four very important gifts that grandparents can give their grandkids–

1. Time. Time for conversations, reading stories, and playing games. Times for spotting leaves, finding butterflies and smelling flowers. So often, Mom and Dad are so caught up in their busy lives that they don’t have the opportunity to enjoy the little things of life. But many grandparents finally have the time to stop and enjoy and appreciate things. Including little ones in this special time of life is a wonderful gift for them.

2. Support their Parents. Supporting your children in their quest to raise godly children is such a gift to your grandchildren. Giving Mom and Dad a night off, so that their marriage can be nurtured and strengthened is also a very special gift to give. It is also important to keep our mouths closed around our grandkids. If we are going to speak about their parents, our words should be uplifting and positive.

3. A Listening Ear. Little children love to talk, don’t they? And, sometimes, parents get tired of listening. But that is where grandparents can step in! Grandparents often only have the children for a limited amount of time. Listening to them, without condition, during those times will make them feel valued and loved.

4. Neutral Ground. As kids grow older, the job of raising kids becomes a little more difficult. Battles take place and many are the frustrations. As parents, we are called to teach our kids and to grow them up to be godly men and women. This takes work and sweat and sometimes it hurts. But grandparents, while maintaining basic discipline and, of course, not doing anything contrary to rules Mom and Dad have set, can offer a wonderfully comfortable place where grandkids can just be kids. They offer neutral ground where frustrations and hot topics can be discussed from a more objective view point. Grandparents can be so valuable by functioning as mediators during these times.

These four things will be such special gifts for your grandkids. They won’t understand it until later, but, one day, they will grow up and realize how tremendously blessed they were in having grandparents like you. And that is when you will reap tremendous rewards for your investment in their lives. Many of these children will grow up and want to keep their relationship with you. Instead of a dreaded chore, they will count it as a privilege to spend time with you in your old age. My grown kids still make spending time with their grandparents a priority (NOT that I am suggesting that they are old yet!)

And, so, this post wraps up the month of January’s posts about parenthood. We went from the first stages of parenting to almost the last. Life just keeps changing and sometimes it is hard to keep up. But being flexible and accepting the changes that come is key to enjoying each stage to its fullest!

Parenting 101: What’s My Role?

Leave a Comment / January 21, 2014 January 21, 2014

To be extremely transparent with you, I am still working through this stage. I am in the midst of finding a healthy balance of being supportive without being over-supportive, if you know what I mean. I am trying to find the balance of expectations in this new and strange world of mothering adults. Once again, I find myself way out of my comfort zone.

I think we almost need to break this stage down into two different sections–

Adult Kids living in the home

and

Adult Kids living outside the home

Personally, I have only experienced the first one. As all four of my kids are still living at home and three of them are 18 or older, I do feel somewhat qualified to write about it here. Please notice the word “somewhat.” When you are in the midst of a stage it is hard to tell what exactly you are doing right and what you are doing wrong. But I am fairly confident about a couple of things. First, it is still our home. No matter if they are 15, 25, or 40, if they are living in our home, they still have a responsibility to abide by our rules. Now, those rules, we have found, do need to change and relax a bit. i.e. While we ask the kids to be discerning in their choices within our home (we don’t want to hear ungodly music blaring from a speaker or see worldly junk on the TV in this home), we do not put restrictions on what they do outside our home (although we do feel free to share our disappointment in any bad choices!).

And, second, we do ask them to help a bit around the house without pay for their room and board. Trust me, they are getting the deal of their lives– although, as is typical of life — they really don’t understand this. I know parents who charge room and board and parents who don’t.

If they do not like our rules, we have made it clear that they are free to leave with our blessing. We love them but our responsibility for this home before God remains. So far, they have all decided the perks are worth it! Lots of parents do this stage differently for a lot of different reasons. What do you do? And why?

As we navigate through this time in our lives, we still keep talking and loving and messing up and forgiving. Life is changing substantially for us as parents and for me, particularly, as a mother. I try to lean into the curves, but I don’t really always do such a good job (as my kids will attest to). I wasn’t mentally prepared for this and I find myself feeling lost and out of my element much of the time. There. That’s a bit of honesty for you.

As for parenting our young adults who are married or have moved away, I have a few things to say because of my own experience as a child. And I have been giving some thought to this recently, as my daughter recently got engaged. I want to pattern my parenting in this stage after my own parents. I feel so incredibly blessed and I want to share with you what I believe they did SO right in this area…and continue to do so right. I want to be just like them for my kids.

1. They take their role to support my brother and I very seriously. While they have their own lives and friends, they have made our family (and my brother’s) a priority.

2. They use their words to encourage and love, rather than to criticize.

3. They backed away from their role as “fixer” and got comfortable in their role as “mentor”.

4. When my parents confront us about anything, we take them very seriously. We do this because this happens so infrequently that we know they must feel very strongly if they have chosen to speak to us about it.

5. We have become friends in a two-way sense, so that I can also be an encouragement and support to them sometimes.

6. They bring fun and joy and help to our lives. Vacations and trips and outings are much more fun when Grandpa and Grandma are along.

7. Because my parents love the Lord and have made God a priority in their lives, we can always count on them for biblical counsel.

8. They are not intrusive. They did not criticize us about raising children, handling our finances, or the choices we made that troubled them. And I know that there were times they would have liked to. I am not sure how they were able to sit by and watch, but I am pretty sure that what they weren’t saying to us, they were saying to God. I know we were (and continue to be) prayed for.

And here’s the thing (before you get the wrong idea)–my parents are NOT perfect. They would be the first to tell you that. It’s not about perfection. It’s about humility and love and grace. They have messed up and have their personality flaws just like everybody else.

And, while I picked my parents to write about here, we have also been very blessed by my in-laws (my husband’s parents) as well, who have offered so much love and support through the years and have been there whenever we needed them. We have often said that we don’t deserve so much support when some couples don’t have any.

We are so deeply grateful for all four of our parents. As we enter this new stage of parenting my husband and I pray that we, too, will be supportive and loving and, instead of filling hearts with dread and irritation when we are around, we provide joy and comfort and fun!

I think Adrian Rogers says it best. Here is his formula for being the best in-law you can be —

Hands-Off,

Prayers-On,

Mouths-Closed,

Hearts-Open