Growing 4 Life

The Blind Spot

2 Comments / September 20, 2012 September 20, 2012

1986_Oldsmobile_Cutlass_Supreme — My car looked a little something like this
– only it was rust-colored!

When we first got married, we owned a rust-colored Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme. It was a large car, which was fairly typical for the 80’s. The thing about that car is that it had a terrible blind spot. The back windows were just tiny and there was a large area that made it hard to see if a car was coming. Very hard. So one day, as I came to a stop sign at a “Y”, I looked both ways. I pulled out and almost instantly heard a great crash. When it was all over, I had hit a car – a brand new red sports car the driver had just picked up. Needless to say she, understandably, was absolutely furious with me. It was one of the worst feelings in the world. I never saw her or her bright red car.

Blind spots are the worst. After that, I took even greater care making sure that I looked both ways and I never did have an accident again (in that car, at least!) Blind spots are not just in cars, either. We often see blind spots in people, too. Everyone sees a very noticeable issue in someone’s life, but the person with the issue just can’t see it. It may be a naughty or precocious child or a teenager that parents think is perfect (children seem to often be our blind spot, don’t they?) But it could also be a streak of anger or self-indulgence or rebellion that the person can’t see in themselves, but is glaringly obvious to everyone else. It may be a lack of discipline in finances or eating or drinking, that someone is blinded to think is under control, even though everyone around them knows it is not. It may even be how someone views God’s Word – as if they are the authority and whatever they believe it to say is “truth”, giving no heed to historical Christianity or the interpretation of godly men. They are blinded by their own arrogance and pride.

Blind spots can cause a lot of problems. We don’t want to speak and offend. And, oftentimes, if we do – in the case of dear family members and friends – they can’t see it, anyway, and it just causes a rift in the relationship. So I am not here to write about the blind spots of others but, instead, about our own blind spots. How do we make sure we aren’t hindered and hurting others by our own blind spots? How do we make sure to live a life pleasing to the Lord despite the inevitable blind spots?

Here are a few suggestions:

1. Ask the Lord to show you any area where you may be blinded. Ask Him to make it clear to you if you are not seeing your children, or your faults, or His Word with clarity and accuracy. I have prayed this prayer many a time. Sometimes I didn’t really like the answer! Sometimes the truth hurts. But, in the long run, it hurts a lot less than living under false beliefs.

2. Stay in God’s Word. For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. (Hebrews 4:12) The Bible shows us where we are blind. If we read and study it, it pierces our soul with conviction. If we are listening to godly preaching, we are made aware of areas we need to grow. Only through keeping ourselves immersed in God’s Word, studying and listening to biblically solid and strong preaching and teaching are we challenged to keep growing in the faith.

3. When the Lord does show you a blind spot, be humble enough to accept it and then work to change it. It is so hard to be teachable, isn’t it? My first instinct is to lash out in a defensive spirit or blame others. But it is only by being teachable that we can become better people and grow more like Christ. And once we become aware of something (through prayer and God’s Word) it is much easier to recognize it when it crops up. For instance, I recognize, all these years later, that if I am tired or hormonal, I get very grumpy. I used to deny it (silly of me) and blame everyone else for my bad day, but now I am fully aware of this tendency and, while I still get grumpy, I am realistic about it’s origin and try my best to keep it short-lived. This is because I am looking at it realistically and with open eyes, instead of blindly blaming other people for what is my own problem.

Do you have a blind spot today? It is my guess that we all have them – even if they are not obvious to the world around us. Through prayer and God’s Word we can become aware of them and then the Holy Spirit will comfort and guide us as we work at changing and fixing problem areas. The Christian life is hard work, but the rewards are great. It is so important to keep this in mind, in our mega-instant world, as we continue to grow more like Christ in a very “anti-Christ” world.

Wednesday Wisdom: My Testimony in a Song

2 Comments / September 19, 2012 September 19, 2012

If we have ever heard of Laura Story, it is most likely because of her song entitled Blessings. This song became well-known in the CCM world and can still be heard on the radio. It is a beautiful call to look for God’s blessings through all of our circumstances. This thought-provoking song led me to check out this talented artist. What I found was a woman who sings beautiful songs that actually have deep meaning. I have been truly blessed by her music and thought I would share a song with you that you have probably not heard. It is entitled Grace and the lyrics really are my own testimony. You can listen to the song here.

GRACE

My heart is so proud. My mind is so unfocused.
I see the things You do through me as great things I have done.
And now You gently break me, then lovingly You take me
And hold me as my father and mold me as my maker.

[Chorus:]
I ask you: “How many times will you pick me up,
When I keep on letting you down?
And each time I will fall short of Your glory,
How far will forgiveness abound?”
And You answer: ” My child, I love you.
And as long as you’re seeking My face,
You’ll walk in the power of My daily sufficient grace.”

At times I may grow weak and feel a bit discouraged,
Knowing that someone, somewhere could do a better job.
For who am I to serve You? I know I don’t deserve You.
And that’s the part that burns in my heart and keeps me hanging on.

As I walk with You, I’m learning what Your grace really means.
The price that I could never pay was paid at Calvary.
So, instead of trying to repay You, I’m learning to simply obey You
By giving up my life to you For all that You’ve given to me.

Help! I don’t know how to feel?

Leave a Comment / September 17, 2012 September 17, 2012

The other day my son was cleaning out his old truck in preparation for his new truck. As he worked, he shared his hesitation with me. Was he doing the right thing? This was his very first truck. The one he was buying was newer, nicer, niftier. But this was his first truck. He was excited about his new truck, but kind of sad about saying good-bye to his old truck.

Boy, do I know how he feels. As I was traveling to my mom’s the other day, I was experiencing the same feelings. You see, my mom and dad are moving, and so I was headed there to help sort through some things. As I made the turn at the pizza shop, I realized I wouldn’t be making this turn many more times. As I approached their development, my heart grew heavy, realizing that this home – my home for over 1o years and the only “grandma’s house” my kids had ever known – was going to be lived in by strangers.

And, yet, it meant my parents were moving closer to me. Instead of a half hour to visit them, my trip was cut in half at less than 15 minutes. They are moving to a house that takes a lot less care. That’s a good thing for them. And my dad felt it was so important that they didn’t leave a lifetime of stuff for my brother and I to sort through years down the road, that they are going through all of their accumulated stuff now, while they are in good health. And that is a good thing.

And, so…how do I feel? How do you feel happy and sad all at once?

Change is so tricky. No matter what the change is – whether a new vehicle, a new home, a new church, new friends, new school, new job – you name it, change brings a boatload of feelings along with it. Feelings that confuse and bewilder. Many times we resent change, and then years later, we see the good God was working through it all. Sometimes change comes suddenly and we can’t see any good at all…not in the present and not down the road.

And yet, through it all, God is faithful. God truly does work all things together for good for those that love Him. I truly wish I could express just how grateful I am to my heavenly Father, who meets us in all of our changes, no matter how big or how small. He steps in and works in little, awesome ways to make change bearable. Unless we have experienced it for ourselves, it is truly hard to understand.

And, so, yes, change is a big part of all of our lives. And change will always bring conflicting feelings within us. But God doesn’t change and, more often than not, He uses change to prove Himself faithful and trustworthy. Praise be to Him!

Niceness Doesn’t Always Equal Goodness

2 Comments / September 13, 2012 September 13, 2012

A few years ago, we had a young man stay in our home as part of a ministry team that was visiting our church. He was a kind, courteous, and handsome young man with a sense of humor to boot – just the kind of boy a mother dreams of for her daughter. In fact, I joked around with my daughter about what a great catch he would be.

It wasn’t until a few months later that we started becoming aware of who this young man really was inside, where it counts. We learned of his values, his entertainment choices, and his activities. And, several years later, we realized the depth of this grown-up boy’s sinful lifestyle (thank you, Facebook!)

You see, we can’t always tell a person’s true character by their niceness. Although we do tend to do that, don’t we? I find myself thinking that so-and-so is SO NICE, therefore they must be spiritually solid and strong. And sometimes that would be true. But it isn’t always true.

Facebook is a wonderful tool to use to help us discern if someone loves the Lord more than anything else. I can’t tell you the amount of times I have met someone who is incredibly nice in how they treat others, but when I see their facebook page I see ungodly pictures and language and choices on their info page and on their wall and I realize that their heart is far from God and is instead solidly entrenched in the activities of the world.

We can be as nice as nice can be, but that doesn’t make up for worldliness, or selfishness, or immodesty. Of course, no one is perfect and we all make mistakes – even on Facebook. But we need to be discerning, especially when we are praying for spouses for our children.

As parents, let’s be careful not to make niceness a priority over spiritual health. Yes, our child’s choice should be nice – but the niceness should be an outflow of the potential mate’s choice to love and follow God with all of his/her heart, soul, mind, and strength (Mark 12:30).

Choosing a spouse will be the second biggest decision our children will ever make (the first is to choose to follow or reject Jesus). We need to be there to give wise counsel and guidance, helping them to discern if the niceness is indicative of a transformed life or simply a personality trait.

Wednesday Wisdom: Hell on Earth

8 Comments / September 12, 2012 April 8, 2015

I recalled again Richard’s words: Hell is to sit alone in darkness remembering past sins. Old memories burned like fire. You had no defense – no books, no radios, no distraction, no place to go when they came buzzing at you. Here self-deception ceased. Theories about new moral concepts didn’t help. Here you knew that the new morality was the old lasciviousness. Helena’s remorse was terrible. I knew what she was feeling.

Nearly every woman in prison felt similar burning remorse. Nearly everyone was religious in some degree. Outspoken atheists surprised themselves by calling on God. Everyone wished to have her prayer heard.

But their prayers were wrong. It was like praying that two and two should be something other than four. Accumulation of sins can only bring unhappiness and remorse. It was over sexual feelings-adulteries, betrayals, abortions- that regret was most poignant. Women longed to talk about it and ease the pain. I remembered the words of David who had committed such a sin: “Blessed is he…whose sin is covered” (Psalm 32:1). So covered by God that there is no need to uncover it before men.

This is from a book by Sabina Wurmbrand entitled The Pastor’s Wife. The book is Sabina’s story of her life and imprisonment under the communist regime in Romania. Her experiences are far beyond anything I could imagine. While she is at Labor Camp, a detestable and horrifying place, she tells of some of the women there who are without Christ.

As we read her reflections above, we can’t help but turn our thoughts inward. How about us? How would we fare languishing in prison or labor camp without any distractions? No iPhones, no computers, no TVs, no movies, no radios? Where would our thoughts turn when all we had to do was think during the dark, lonely hours in a room full of strangers? What sins would haunt us? What choices and decisions would we regret?

How would we find a spirit of gratitude and compassion amidst all of the turmoil and filth? Could we sing praises in the midst of starvation? Would we be thankful if we lacked almost every comfort we have now? Could we maintain our Christian testimony while trudging over miles of plains to get to work and then baking in the hot sun, hoeing for the whole day, without any water?

And, as I read of her experiences, there was another question I had to seriously ask myself: How much of God’s Word would I remember if I were thrown into prison without access to a written copy? I felt ashamed to admit the truth.

I believe that in this day and age, we are so lost in our distractions. We drink and eat and take pills to medicate ourselves and our pain. We watch movies, read books, and go to concerts in an effort to escape our real lives. But what if our real lives – the lives we are living right at this very moment – is all that we have? Sabina Wurmbrand goes on to talk about a society lady a few paragraphs later:

“What’s your conclusion?” she asked, brushing back her greasy hair with a gesture that belonged to her “smart-set” days. “You’ve seen it all- what do you think? For myself, I’ve only one thought left: if I could go free, I’d live happily on a crust for the rest of my life.”

Like many of her type, she had a deep sense of guilt for frittering her life away. Often she’s spoken to me hesitatingly, hinting at some inner torment that she’d like to reveal.

Guilt for frittering her life away. Wow – that hit me hard. Am I frittering my life away? Am I doing anything that matters with the time I have been given? This is such an important question to ask ourselves.

And, so, most of us sit here reading this thinking we would never find ourselves in prison or labor camp. This is America, after all. Who really cares? How does this matter? But I believe Sabina’s words beg us to answer two questions—

1. Am I deceiving myself?

2. What am I doing with my life that matters?

Do you care more about others than you do about yourself?

3 Comments / September 10, 2012 September 10, 2012

A few months ago, I ran into an acquaintance from my son’s baseball days. Our boys had played the sport together years before and we had completely lost track of each other after that. When we saw each other we smiled with recognition and started to chat. Only the chatting was very one-sided. I asked about her kids and she told me everything. Apparently, anything that had happened to my kids was unimportant.

And then a little bit later, I found myself in a conversation with someone I hadn’t talked with before. Again, the conversation was one-sided, as I asked about her history and her family and her life. There was no interest expressed in my life whatsoever.

Both my husband and I have noticed that, in the last few years, this has become a rather regular occurrence for both of us. When we run into people, most are very interested in talking about themselves and will take the time to answer any question you ask. But when the conversation is over and they walk away, not even one question or thought was expressed that showed any interest in us.

Now, let me be clear -it is not the lack of interest in my life that concerns me. While it can be hurtful to appear so unimportant to someone, it doesn’t really matter in the scope of life. But what I am concerned about is the lack of interest we show in the lives of others, in general. I, myself, have been guilty of being the one doing all of the talking, as well. I will have spent the last twenty minutes talking and answering questions with someone and after I walk away I realize that I never once asked them anything or expressed any interest in their affairs. The next time I see that person, I will try to make up for the one-sidedness of the previous conversation.

Do you agree with me that their seems to be a great lack of concern for others in our busy culture? You see, many people are so willing to discuss their own affairs, but have no interest in anyone else’s. And this shows itself when we have conversations with others. Think about the last conversation you had on the sidelines of the soccer field, in the lobby at church, or when you ran into someone at the store. Did you take the time to ask them questions and find out about their life? Or did you simply talk about yourself?

The Bible tells us that we are to look out not only for our own interests, but also for the interests of others. We are to do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind we are to consider others better than ourselves. (Philippians 2:3-4). Paul knew that our natural inclination is to only care about ourselves. But, as Christians, we are to think beyond ourselves and to genuinely care about those around us. This care should show itself, not only on mission trips and in soup kitchens, but in everyday conversations.

We should be more interested in what someone else has to say than in listening to our own voice. We should genuinely care when a friend or acquaintance opens their mouth to speak.

The next time we have a few minutes to talk, let’s think of a few questions we can ask to show that we genuinely care about the person we are speaking with. And when they don’t return the favor…well, then let’s know that this is a ministry and that we are doing the right thing in the eyes of the Lord.

My Held Hand

2 Comments / September 6, 2012 September 6, 2012

The adorable two year old skipped by her daddy’s side. She was trying awfully hard to behave and when daddy reached for her hand, she said “No!” and pulled away. Thankfully, she had a very wise daddy who insisted. He grabbed her hand and together they walked along. As they walked, in her excitement and immaturity, she would slip and almost fall but her daddy would hold her up. When she strayed to look at some interesting distraction, he would gently guide her back onto the path. And when a car came swerving around the corner, daddy whisked her out of the way. He could do that because he was strong. Way stronger than the little girl.

Isn’t this just like God? I was challenged by just this illustration last night at church. So often I try to do it all by myself. I skip along and ignore God and then I get discouraged when I can’t do it. But, if I am a believer, God is there to protect, comfort, and guide–just like that little girl and her daddy. When we fall, God is there to pick us up. Where we are weak, He is strong. And when we stray off the path, if we hold tight to His hand and follow Him, He will get us back where we need to be.

I don’t know about you, but as I was listening last night, I felt a wave of relief upon hearing that. Funny thing was, I knew all of this already. But, here lately, I had been trying to win some of my battles on my own.

I am ready to give my best this morning with the knowledge that someone far greater and more powerful than myself is always there – to catch me, to guide me, and to steady me. Thank you, Lord, for that reminder last night.

Jesus loves me, this I know. For the Bible tells me so. Little ones to Him belong, they are weak but He is strong. Yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves me. The Bible tells me so.

Wednesday Wisdom: The Words of My Mouth

Leave a Comment / September 5, 2012 September 5, 2012

I am currently reading a wonderful book called 40 Days to Healthy Living, written by author Danna Demetre. We only think of healthy living in the physical sense, but this book has some very insightful points on living healthy spiritually, as well. As I was reading “Day 18”, I knew it was what I would have to share with you today. I do not normally recommend a book before I have completed it. However, I have been so thoroughly impressed with this author’s handling of both the spiritual and the physical side of our health, that I am counting on her to continue to do so through the end (I’ll let you know if the book doesn’t live up to my expectations!)

Nourish Your Spirit— The Words of My Mouth

Matthew 15: 18 But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man “unclean.”

The mouth can cause us so much trouble. From putting too much food in to letting the wrong words out, it is often a key player in many of our challenges. Too often, we say something before we’ve passed our thoughts through the filter of God’s truth. Words that tear down and wound don’t please God. Words that gossip or slander don’t either. Yet it is so easy to want to share a juicy tidbit about someone or pass on some interesting news in the cloak of a “prayer request.” I wonder how many of these kinds of prayer requests were ever really prayed about.

It seems if we can get to the root of controlling our mouth and our tongue, which we are told in James 3: 6 “corrupts the whole person,” we may be able to control our entire self. Our verse above says that what comes out of our mouths actually originates in our hearts. If we want to know the state of our own hearts, perhaps we should listen more carefully to not only the words we are speaking but also the silent conversations we are having inside our own minds. In the Bible, the word heart refers to the soul. And the mind is the soul’s pilot. As we have already learned, our words are by-products of our thoughts, and our thoughts originate from our beliefs. If we want our hearts to be pure and have words that flow naturally from our mouths, we must change our thinking.

If the words we are speaking are tearing down more than building up, we definitely need some “heart surgery,” which begins by identifying the lies we believe so they can be excised from our minds. These are the “unclean” things that Matthew is speaking about.

Angry words come out of an angry heart and despairing words out of a desperate heart. Whatever negative, destructive words seem to flow out of our mouths freely and regularly reveal the condition of our hearts. But the opposite is true as well. Kind words flow from a kind heart, lovely words from a loving heart. By identifying our negative emotions and words, we can begin the process of transformation as we replace that which tears down with that which builds up.

As with all spiritual concerns, this is not a matter of self-control but rather of surrender and transformation. It took time for those lies to become imbedded, and it will take some time to dislodge them. As our hearts and minds become purified, so do our thoughts and our words. And surprisingly, a changed heart may also produce changed appetites for food and other things, as the “mouth” may no longer need to try to fill the gaps of a damaged heart.

Demetre, Danna (2012-03-01). 40 Days to Healthy Living (pp. 217-218). Baker Book Group. Kindle Edition.

You can find this book on Amazon here. As of the date of this post, the hard copy only costs $6.99 and the Kindle edition is only $5.38. If you have been struggling with the topic of living a healthy life, this is definitely worth the few dollars!

Celebrating Work

2 Comments / September 3, 2012 September 3, 2012

Most of us do not enjoy working. We live for the weekends and the rest of the week is just what we need to get through to get to them. This is very unfortunate, because if you do your math, 71% of your week is made up of week days. Only 29% are considered weekend days. Of course, if you throw Friday nights in there it might be a little higher.

Do you enjoy what you do? Are you able to glorify and praise God as you work in the office, flip hamburgers, fix somebody’s leaky faucet, repair a car engine, buy stocks on Wall Street, argue in the court room, plow a field, cut hair, pick parts on an assembly line, or change a diaper?

I believe our true character is what shows when we are working. It’s not hard to be happy and light-hearted when we are doing something we enjoy. But when we are going through the daily grind of wherever the Lord has placed us, then it becomes a little harder. Even if we generally love what we do, we all have bad days…days when we wonder how we ended up in this job…days when we wonder if there couldn’t possibly be something better out there.

Labor Day was created to pay tribute to the contributions and achievements of American workers. It was created by the labor movement in the late 19th century and became a federal holiday in 1894. Whether we are one of the highest paid doctors in the country or a stay at home mom raising the next generation, if you live in the United States, you are an American worker. Are you able to thank the Lord for the blessing of your job this Labor Day? There are many who do not have one and wish they did.

Let’s spend today enjoying picnics with family and friends, but let’s not forget to thank God for the privilege to work.

Safe or on the edge?

9 Comments / August 30, 2012 August 30, 2012

Have you ever seen one of those TV nature shows about lions and their prey? On the TV screen we see hundreds of innocent wildebeests standing there innocently while a lion quietly prowls on the edge of the herd looking for the weaker ones. The lion waits and watches. A few of the wildebeests look up and sniff the air, sensing that something isn’t right. A sense of unrest permeates the air. And then, at just the right moment, the lion starts running towards the pack at high speed. This sets them all in a frenzy and they start running – all of them – in the same direction. Unfortunately, there are always a few stragglers. They are sickly, or weak and old, or perhaps young and naive. We watch as the lions chooses his prey and then pounces on it. His powerful claws rip into its fur and take it down to its knees. And then he uses his powerful jaws to kill the poor, innocent creature. About that time, they break to commercial and we are left feeling sad and sorry for the ill-fated beast that met death so violently.

Did you ever think about why Peter talks about the devil being like a lion? I Peter 5:8 says: Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.

I think Peter wrote that because he knows that we are just like those wildebeests. Some of us are leaders in the pack and we are the ones that shout “run” and lead the pack away from danger. Others of us aren’t leaders but we are careful to keep ourselves protected by keeping our eyes open and staying safely away from the edges. And then there are those of us who just seem to always want to be occupying the edge. We are crippled and weak spiritually and we can’t keep up with the group. Or we are naive and think we don’t need Jesus to help us live on a daily basis, trying to make it on our own strength.

And then there are those who are weak just because of where they find themselves in life. Some are young and naive and need our protection from pride and foolish choices as they grow in discernment and wisdom. Some are old and weak and need our help to protect them from falling prey to things like depression, loneliness, and self-pity.

I know it is not very flattering to compare people to a great big bunch of wildebeests, but I find it amazing how God directed Peter to write that verse about the devil. We can never forget that the devil is seeking to devour us! He is setting temptations before us and he is spotting the weak and sickly Christians among us. And while he can never take our salvation away, he is trying to destroy our faith and render us ineffective for the cause of Christ. He is trying to steal our joy and our peace. He is trying to extinguish our gospel light.

The sad thing is we often allow him to do so, don’t we? We become so disenchanted with life and so frustrated by outward circumstances that we are often rendered ineffective. Or we become so enamored with the world that we lose sight of what is most important in life.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be one of those poor creatures on the edges. I would prefer to remain safely among godly Christian friends and leaders. I want to help encourage and protect. But it is only by relying on Jesus and filling our minds with His Word and praying without ceasing that we can elude the clutches of the roaring lion.