Real Life Stories – Page 26

The Real Deal

Leave a Comment / April 8, 2013 April 8, 2013

We were sitting in Friendly’s waiting for our ice cream. Normally we don’t get dessert with dinner, but who can skip dessert at Friendly’s? As we waited, a waitress brought out some luscious-looking sundaes to a booth across the restaurant, one of them being a mint chip sundae with hot fudge. And suddenly, the air was filled with the aroma of mint chocolate! “Wow! Can I smell that from here?” said my husband in disbelief.

Unbeknownst to him, I had pulled out my mint chocolate hand sanitizer to remove the stickiness from my hands at just the same moment the waitress had brought out the yummy looking sundaes. We all started laughing because the timing was so impeccable. Of course, we couldn’t smell the ice cream from across the store. But my hand sanitizer gave us the illusion that we could.

Many churches are becoming a little like this. They smell like the church. They look like the church. But when you walk in the doors, they aren’t really functioning like a biblical church.

While church is a great place to feel loved and to fellowship and perhaps sometimes to even win the lost, there are some other really important functions that get totally ignored or are done rather as an afterthought.

The first and most important job of a church is to teach doctrine. Paul mentions this word in several of his letters. I Timothy 1:3 and Titus 2:1 are two of them. Doctrine has become a bit of a “bad” word in most churches. That is because people aren’t interested in learning biblical doctrine. The word makes many cringe. But doctrine simply means “something that is taught; teachings collectively” according to dictionary.com. Paul urges ministers to teach their flocks about what the Bible says. That is the most important priority.

I Timothy 4 shows us another important duty of a church: Now the Spirit expressly says that in latter times some will depart from the faith, giving heed to deceiving spirits and doctrines of demons, speaking lies in hypocrisy, having their own conscience seared with a hot iron, forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from foods which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and know the truth. For every creature of God is good, and nothing is to be refused if it is received with thanksgiving; for it is sanctified by the word of God and prayer. If you instruct the brethren in these things, you will be a good minister of Jesus Christ, nourished in the words of faith and of the good doctrine which you have carefully followed.

Church leaders have a responsibility to help their flocks discern. There are a lot of false teachings floating around out there. But because the world’s philosophy of “if you believe it, it’s true for you” has crept into the church, church leaders have become afraid of confrontations. And I can see why, as most times accusations start flying immediately and the leaders are branded narrow-minded and old-fashioned and stuck in tradition and too uptight. But Paul expressly commands ministers to teach discernment. Churches need to be willing to do this.

And, finally, one other important job of a church is to discipline. One of the passages that talks about this is I Timothy 5:20 where Paul urges elders to rebuke those who are sinning in the presence of all, that the rest may fear. Most churches ignore any passage on church discipline. And, honestly, I can understand why. In this day and age, you are considered judgmental and narrow-minded if you stand against any sin. But does this excuse the church from doing it?

These are three important jobs of a biblical church: teach doctrine, protect from false doctrine, and discipline wayward believers.

We have been sold the lie that churches only exist to save the lost but that isn’t biblical. While many have been drawn to a church service and been saved there, that is not its main purpose. We have been sold the lie that church is about experiencing love and community. While many of us have made wonderful friends and enjoy being part of a community, that is not its main purpose.

I have no idea what type of church you attend. And finding a good, solid, biblical church is getting harder every day. But there are still some good ones around. I hope you are in one of them.

Laughing at myself

2 Comments / April 4, 2013 April 4, 2013

Did you read the picture? Before they gave it to me, my friends told me that sometimes you just find THE perfect card. They were right. I received that card because that actually happened to me. Recently. I still shake my head in consternation that I couldn’t feel it. Why wouldn’t I feel a breeze? I left the bathroom like any normal day. Nothing felt any different (really–not to repeat myself –but how in the world could that be??) I walked confidently across the church lobby until a dear lady came rushing up behind me, frantically calling my name. Mind you, my trip across the lobby was just about over. I had walked quite a ways like that.

I now have my top embarrassing moment. Ever. I have done some stupid things, but that takes the cake. For sure.

So why am I stupid enough to share it with all of you?

Mostly because I think we all have a very hard time laughing at ourselves. At first, I was mortified. Actually, I am still mortified. And when my family joked about it, my face got hot and I mumbled harsh words to myself, berating myself on my ridiculousness and stupidity. But when you have teenagers who just love to tell a funny story, this one comes up a lot (I can’t say that I blame them) And when it comes up, it doesn’t do any good to get mad. And so I just choose to laugh. It is hilarious. So it happened. It has happened to others, too (at least I hope so). It could have been worse. I am not sure exactly how, but it could have been.

I think the reason I am able to laugh at myself is because of watching my mom. She has done some funny, embarrassing things, too. They are her stories, so I won’t share them here, but my favorite is still brought up around family campfires quite often. And she just laughs at herself. For my whole life, I have seen my mother just laugh at herself when we tease her.

I don’t think I realized until recently what a great example she has been in this area. I don’t think any less of her because she has had a few embarrassing moments. But I do think more highly of her because of how she handled them.

Life is short. We all do embarrassing things. So who cares? We need to throw our stupid pride aside and just laugh.

And, by the way, on a positive note: Given the many embarrassing moments I have had over the past several months, I realized God probably doesn’t have to work as hard keeping me humble, since I do a pretty good job all by myself!

Fill ‘Er Up

Leave a Comment / March 28, 2013 March 28, 2013

I heard a little ding. My eyes went to the dash. Great. I was on empty. Really empty. I had just left the house to pick up my daughter from basketball practice and remembered that this low fuel light had been on for quite awhile. I was probably not going to even make it to the school.

Does God care about that stuff? I am pretty sure He does, as I have had so many “inconsequential” prayers answered that it defies coincidence. But, at any rate, I pictured that precious gas station just a few blocks away from the school and put in my petition, “Lord, if there is any way I can just make it to that gas station…but, of course, if I don’t, it’s not the end of the world…”

This was the closest I had come to running out of gas in a long time. I don’t like to cut things that close. I grabbed on to the steering wheel and coaxed the car along, “you can make it!” Yes, I think…if I remember correctly…I was talking to my car. Good thing I was alone.

Imagine my delight when I pulled up by that gas pump. I sighed with relief. I had made it. I reached for my purse…

You have got to be kidding me.

It wasn’t there. In my hurry to leave, I had forgotten my purse and all forms of payment. All forms. “Okay, stop, breathe. You can figure this out. Check your emergency money fund.”

Normally, I keep at least a few dollars in emergency money. But, alas, (and of course!) it was empty. The time I need it most, the only thing available to me was a handful of change.

So now what?

I called my son, “can you bring me my purse?”

“Aw, mom. Go to the school and see if you can borrow ten bucks from someone. If you can’t, I’ll come rescue you.”

I had doubts I would even make it to the school, much less back to the gas station. But, what choice did I have? And, at least by this point, I had a back-up plan in place, thanks to my son. That made me feel a whole lot better.

And so I tentatively set off for the school. There I found a Good Samaritan in the form of one of my daughter’s friend’s Dad. He graciously lent me a twenty with a smile. I gathered my daughter and headed off for my third uncertain journey of the day.

As I pulled up beside that pump for the second time that day and filled the car with the precious liquid it needs to get me anywhere, I slumped in the driver’s seat, thanking the Lord.

This wasn’t do or die. I had a rescuer if I needed it. It was just one of those annoying things in life. And the worst thing about it: it was totally my fault. I had let it get too close to empty. I had left the house without my purse. My emergency fund was dry.

I was reminded of this incident a few weeks ago, when I heard one of my dear friends talk about remaining godly during illness. She has suffered greatly this past year with a strange illness that came by surprise and continues to hold a grip on her life. She gave a wonderful presentation, but one thing she said especially stuck with me.

Be prepared.

Before anything rocks your world to its core, make sure you are prepared.

How do we do that?

Know God (Philippians 3:10); Fill our minds with the right things (Philippians 4:8); Study His Word (2 Timothy 3:16); Memorize passages of Scripture (Psalm 119:11); Walk with Him daily (John 15:4). Grow as a believer (I Corinthians 3:2); Care for those in need and hate the world (James 1:27).

Sometimes I think we get so caught up in this busy and very warped world, that we forget what is really important…until it is too late.

But I see very threatening clouds on the horizon of this country. I don’t mean to sound like I am predicting doom, but I guess you would have to have your head buried in the sand to not realize that it is probably going to get a lot tougher for us Christians. Are you going to be ready? Will you be able to stand boldly for Christ? Will I?

What about just the normal stuff? Will we be ready for the inevitable trials and tragedies that come at one time or later to all of us?

Only time will tell. But I want to be ready! I don’t want to be stuck with an empty tank of gas beside a gas pump without any form of payment. Now that would be stupid.

My journey with CQTS

1 Comment / March 25, 2013 March 31, 2017

It all started over a year ago. Maybe it even goes further back than that. When you find out you have a condition, it is hard to know when it really started.

I think it started when I purchased my iPhone and downloaded a dictionary.

Suddenly, my iPhone seemed a necessary study tool to have by me during quiet time.

And then my iPhone was joined by the very helpful iPad with all of its wonderful Bible Study tools. How amazing to have maps and commentaries and Bible dictionaries at my finger tips all for a few dollars.

And, so, I settled into a nice little pattern of having these tools beside me.

Until one day I realized: I had a classic case of CQTS:

Compromised Quiet Time Syndrome

While these two little gadgets did help me with Bible study, the disadvantages were many. You see, each time I would hear a little ding that I had a text, I would click it…immediately. If I saw a little notification number, I would feel the need to check it…immediately. Until one day, I realized that these helpful little gadgets had become very large hindrances in my walk with God.

Basically, I was telling God to hold because I had something more important to do.

I had spent at least the last five years telling my kids not to text while studying –it’s too distracting. I knew the danger of having a phone nearby. And, yet, here I was, doing what I had told my kids not to do. But instead of studying science or math, I was studying God’s Word. How pathetic was that??

And so I knew I had to find the cure for this condition. And guess what? The cure is quite simple, really–

Leave my iPhone and iPad on silent and far away from me during quiet time.

That’s it.

And so my healing from this syndrome continues. Some days, I forget to put my phone on silent and I can’t resist checking it. And some days, it is more difficult than others not to compulsively check what’s going on in the rest of the world and I fail. But I am definitely moving the right direction.

I know there are many who can’t relate AT ALL to this, but I am quite certain there are at least a few out there who CAN. I have seen the phones that barely leave the hand or the pocket, even in forty-somethings. We have become a culture that has put our texting and internet life before face-to-face relationships. I had become a person who had put those things even before God. I am quite ashamed to admit that.

But, thankfully, my God forgives me (over and over and over again) and I am healing. I am glad to say I am better today than I was a few months ago.

And I realize: iPhones and iPads can be wonderful tools–but they are tools, not gods. It’s time many of us stop idolizing our gadgets and start making our relationships with God and people our top priority.

Just how big is our God, anyway?

4 Comments / March 21, 2013 March 21, 2013

By now, most of us are aware of Rob Bell’s fall off the deep end of theology in the last six months or so. This was made clear this past week when he promoted gay marriage. No longer can he be called an evangelical. And, while I find his position on gay marriage alarming, it’s what he said about God and His Word that is most disturbing. Check out a few of these quotes —

“I think the ship has sailed and I think the church needs — I think this is the world we are living in and we need to affirm people wherever they are.”*

“I think we are witnessing the death of a particular subculture that doesn’t work,” he asserted. “I think there is a very narrow, politically intertwined, culturally ghettoized, evangelical subculture that was told ‘we’re gonna change the thing’ and they haven’t. And they actually have turned away lots of people.”*

Do you see his focus here? It is people and what they want. It is not God.

But wait a minute.

Isn’t this the logical conclusion to where the church has been headed for a long time? Several decades ago, we started believing the lie that we need to be more like the world so that we could “relate better.” I mean how can we witness to those around us if we aren’t watching the same movies, going to the bars with them, or hanging out at poker night? And so worldliness entered the church under the guise of “witnessing”.

And then, in a matter of a few short years, this philosophy had entered the church.

And the cry was heard all ’round America! The church is dying! We have to save her! The only way is by making unbelievers more comfortable. Let’s make unbelievers want to come to church.

And so we changed everything.

We changed how long the service is, we changed the style of music, we changed the seats, and we changed the purpose.

And then, a few years after that, we still weren’t convinced that we were drawing enough people, and so we brought poker games, yoga classes, and secular entertainment into the church.

And we forgot.

We forgot that it is God who changes hearts and draws them to himself. It isn’t us.

John 6:44 makes this clear: No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him.

So you, see, I am not that surprised at Rob Bell’s departure from adhering to God’s Word. After all, God’s Word is going to sound harsh, unloving, and ridiculous to rebellious sinners. They aren’t going to like it. If it is preached without apology, they are going to squirm uncomfortably. But his departure is just the natural progression of a church that has made attracting these rebellious sinners their top priority.

No, change isn’t all bad. There isn’t anything intrinsically wrong with new music or a shorter service. The error comes when these changes are what we think we have to do in order to draw a dying world.

Yes, we need to evangelize. It is one of our top priorities to share the gospel. But how dare we corrupt it by changing it, and skewing it, and tainting it with the world?

The world’s salvation isn’t dependent upon our methods.

God is bigger than our methods. He is bigger than our ideas and our plans.

We are to glorify Him and magnify Him and to share His plan of salvation. This can be –this has to be– done without contaminating ourselves with the ways of the world.

And so, Mr. Bell, I am not surprised with your departure from biblical doctrine. I expect many more will follow after you.

Philippians 1:9-11

And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.

*http://christiannews.net/2013/03/18/no-hell-bell-comes-out-in-support-of-homosexuality-tells-narrow-christians-to-repent/

Would I be ready for this?

3 Comments / March 11, 2013 March 11, 2013

What do the following people have in common:

Timothy, Symphorosa, Germanicus, Blandina, Ponticus, Felicitas, Perpetua, Cecilia, Julian, Denisa, Alexander, Epimachus, and Agatha?

Any ideas? Are these names ringing a bell, somewhere from the deep recesses of your mind?

Every single one of these listed above (and thousands and thousands more) were martyred under the Roman government at one time or another. Here’s a quick rundown of how they entered heaven:

Timothy – reproved the idolatry of the people and was beaten with clubs so badly that he died from the bruises within 2 days.

Symphorosa – refused to sacrifice to heathen deities, along with her seven sons. She was scourged and then hung up by the hair of her head; after a time a large stone was thrown around her neck and she was thrown in the river. All seven sons were fastened to seven posts with pullies and torn asunder, all their limbs dislocated; they were all eventually stabbed, except for the youngest who was sawed in half.

Germanicus – a young man, delivered to the wild beasts; he handled his death with such astonishing courage, several pagans were converted.

Blandina – Attached to a pole on the ground and exposed to the wild beasts for food; during this time her earnest prayers encouraged others; The wild beasts wouldn’t touch her. She was sent back to prison and forced to endure all kinds of torture, and then was eventually slain.

Ponticus – A 15 year old boy, who was in prison with Blandina and partook of the same sufferings and torture, eventually dying by the sword, as well.

Felicitas – A very pregnant young woman who, along with another lady named Perpetua, were forced to run between hunters of wild beasts and they were severely lashed; they were then stripped and thrown to a wild bull, where they were gored dreadfully, and then finally perished by the sword.

Cecilia – a young lady of good family, who converted her husband and brother, who were beheaded, and also the officer who led them to their execution, who was also beheaded; she was forced naked into a scalding bath for a considerable time; eventually she was beheaded with a sword.

Julian – He was put into a bag with serpents and scorpions and thrown into the sea.

Denisa – a 16 year old girl who was beheaded for her faith.

Alexander & Epimachus – beat with staves (plural of staffs), torn with hooks, and, at length, burned with fire.

Agatha – a godly and very beautiful Sicilian woman who caught the eye of the Sicilian governor. When put into a position to compromise her faith, she refused, and therefore she was “scourged, burnt with red hot irons, and torn with sharp hooks. Having borne these torments with admirable fortitude, she was next laid naked upon live coals, intermingled with glass, and then being carried back to prison, she there expired on the 5th of Feb, 251.”

____________________________________________

Perhaps I should have not written so many of these stories. I couldn’t decide which ones to use and which ones not to. There are dozens more and I am only a few pages in the book Foxe’s Book of Martyrs.

Here’s the thing — these were all REAL people. So, yes, they lived a long time ago but that doesn’t make them any less real. A 15 year old boy, a 16 year old girl, a pregnant woman, wealthy people, poor slaves, bishops, and beautiful women. All perished at the hands of evil men and women, whom Satan used in his efforts to douse the light of Christianity.

But it didn’t work! Here’s what it says regarding one of the persecutions: “but though the persecuting malice raged, yet the gospel shone with resplendent brightness; and, firm as an impregnable rock, withstood the attacks of its boisterous enemies with success.”

Fast forward 2000 years. Most of us have no clue what it means to suffer for Christ. Many of us wonder if we would choose to do so, if it really came to that.

I can’t help wondering if it will. Soon. Each year brings more and more persecution to those who stand firm on biblical Christianity. The persecution is nothing like those our persecuted brothers and sisters faced all those years ago, or even what many of our Christian brothers and sisters face in foreign lands. But if it comes, will we be ready?

I think it comes down to this: If you are a true believer in Jesus Christ, Christianity isn’t a religion, it is your whole life. There is no part that remains untouched by God’s grace and the Holy Spirit’s conviction. We know that we are condemned to hell without Jesus’s death and resurrection and we won’t trade anything — not worldly reputation, material wealth, nor our very life– for it.

As I write this, I feel very weak as I read the sufferings of those mentioned above. I imagine my body being torn by hooks or burnt by scalding water or hot coals and I shudder and cringe. Lord, am I strong enough to withstand that?

But it’s not my strength that will see me through that day, should it come. It’s HIS.

The men and women who have died and continue to die for their faith in Jesus Christ do not do so on their own strength. They can’t sing and pray while being tortured on their human strength. Only God can supernaturally supply that strength. We are so far from needing that kind of strength in our own lives that it is a completely foreign thought to us.

Is it coming? I don’t know. I tend to think it is. We’d like to think that man could never become so evil again, but if we read recent history –of Hitler and Stalin and Pol Pot– or we follow current events–Sudan, Eritrea, and Iran, for example–we can see that men are still coming up with horrible ways to torture their fellow man.

Will I be strong enough to stand if that day comes to America? Only if I rest in God and draw on the strength that He will supply only to those who are truly His.

Find Foxe’s Book of Martyrs here.

But It’s All I’ve Got

Leave a Comment / March 7, 2013 March 7, 2013

My house is getting old and needs updating

But it’s the only house I’ve got

And it’s a home full of love and memories

I’m driving around in a car with a big dent

But it’s the only car I’ve got

And it gets me where I need to go

Going back to work on Monday is hard

But it’s the only job I’ve got

And I know many do not have a job at all

My family can drive me crazy

But they are the only family I’ve got

I can’t imagine what I’d do without them

Sometimes I don’t like what God allows in my life

But He’s the one and only God

And I know He knows best

This is just a silly poem that I thought of last night as I was laying in my bed complaining in my heart about some minor irritation. I was suddenly hit with the thought: what if that person was no longer in your life? That thought immediately changed my feelings from irritation to overwhelming gratitude. I thought of how blessed I am, not only in that relationship, but in so many ways.

But when we focus on the negative, we have a hard time finding those blessings. So today, let’s flip flop it. When a negative thought wants to surface about your situation or a family member or your house or your car or a friend, take a moment and think about what your life would be like without them. Sometimes–for the little stuff–that is enough to put your world back in perspective.

But if it’s not and there is a genuine problem to be solved, bring a heart of gratitude for the blessings you do have and for what the Lord is teaching you. This will serve as an encouragement and a help as you work through the problem.

I know I’ve written on this topic many times before. But, as my thoughts showed me last night, I still have a long way to go. And, just in case I am not alone, I didn’t figure it would hurt to write a reminder for myself and anyone else who needs it!

Psalm 79:13 So we, Your people and sheep of Your pasture, Will give You thanks forever; We will show forth Your praise to all generations.

The lemon that never grew up

Leave a Comment / February 28, 2013 February 28, 2013

I have this Meyer lemon tree that is actually still living and it’s been almost a year. I am not known for my indoor green thumb (it only works outdoors) and so no one is more surprised than me that the tree is still alive.

But here is the strange part: do you see that lemon hanging off the tree that looks a lot like a lime? That thing has been hanging there since last fall. The plant blossomed profusely but only one baby lemon started growing. It kept growing and growing and then one day it just stopped. And it has looked like this –like a lime–for the last six months at least.

I know I have to cut it off. I am sure it is taking valuable nutrients from the plant. But I just hate to do it.

I wonder if there are a bunch of us Christians walking around half-ripe? We never mature. We just hang on to the vine, taking valuable nutrients and energy from the other lemons.

Of course, not growing up is a popular thing to do in this country. Just watch any sitcom on TV where you will find men portrayed as video-game-playing, crude, joke-cracking boys stuck in their teens. They need their wives to guide and direct them to be responsible. What a bunch of nonsense!

Women, on the other hand, are the focus of the commercials where we are conditioned to believe that growing up — growing mature — is bad. Looking young is the ultimate goal. Products line the shelves that help keep the wrinkles at bay and the gray hair covered.

And, maybe unknowingly, this has transferred to the Church, where so many of us have no interest in growing up.

Paul compares immature Christians to babies who are still on milk (Hebrews 5:12-14). These Christians should be eating meat, but they are still drinking only milk. Instead of being the teacher, they still need to be taught.

If we choose to remain half-ripe or immature, a few consequences take place that are worth some consideration:

1) We are never able to glorify God in the way that we should.

2) We set a terrible example for our children.

3) We rob the Church of precious energy that should be poured into new babes in Christ.

So how do we grow up? I really only know of one way: Read and study the Word of God. While this is a simple thing to do, there are some principles to follow in our study.

1) Read it in context, not pulling verses out from everywhere to fit our own personal situation.

2) Find a good, traditional commentary or Bible Study guide to help (I highly recommend the resources at Grace to You).

3) Listen to solid, biblical preachers, not only in church, but also on podcast or mp3. (Both Grace to You and Truth for Life are filled with mp3s available to listeners at no charge. They are invaluable resources for helping me understand difficult passages. )

4) We need to have the proper heart attitude. We need to approach our study with humility and a willingness to change. If we approach God’s Word with pride and arrogance, we will not grow. If we approach God’s Word with a selfish heart, we will not grow.

5) We can’t expect to fill our hearts and minds with everything God hates for 12 hours a day (music, books, tv, movies, talk radio) and then expect to grow because we read the Bible for 30 minutes. Discernment is critical.

I wish I could shout to the whole Christian world the importance of studying God’s Word. So many of us don’t do it. Some of us know we should but we just don’t make time. Some of us don’t even try–after all, we have our fire insurance. And some of us languish in the world of half-page devotionals with one verse, never venturing into the true study of God’s Word. Don’t get me wrong–there is nothing wrong with devotionals. They just should never replace actual study of God’s Word.

And, so, the choice to grow past the half-ripe stage is up to us. Are we going to hang onto the branch, never ripening, like that lemon of mine or are we going to take ownership of our spiritual health and grow up?

A.W. Tozer puts it better than I ever could: “Why do some persons “find” God in a way that others do not? Why does God manifest His presence to some and let multitudes of others struggle along in the half-light of imperfect Christian experience? Of course, the will of God is the same for all. He has no favorites within His household. All He has ever done for any of His children He will do for all of His children. The difference lies not with God but with us.”

I once was blind, but now I see!

1 Comment / February 18, 2013 February 18, 2013

Since my mother was a little girl she has been almost blind. She was quite unable to see or do much of anything without the aid of her eyeglasses. Somewhere during my childhood she got contact lenses and that made it more convenient. But the bottom line was that, unless she had some correction for her eyes, she only saw dark, undefined shapes.

But then a few months ago, she had the opportunity to get Lasik surgery. And I had the privilege of taking her to the appointment for her first eye. My daughter and I went for breakfast together while we waited for the surgeon to work his miracle in about an hour. When we returned we only waited for a few minutes before I was called back to see my mom in recovery.

As I entered the room I saw her sitting there with a clear bubble placed over her eye. She just kept saying, “This is amazing! This is amazing!”

Even with the bubble on, she could see incredibly clearly. She had gone from seeing only a dark, undefined, muddled world to seeing the whole world clearly!

What a great picture of what happens when we get saved. When we repent of our sins and are transformed by His glorious grace–only then are we given “spiritual sight”.

Matthew 13:16-17 puts it this way: “But blessed are your eyes for they see, and your ears for they hear;for assuredly, I say to you that many prophets and righteous men desired to see what you see, and did not see it, and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.“

While some things remain a mystery, we are given the gift of spiritual insight when we turn our lives over to Jesus Christ. Sure, it is not always an instant gift. But God gradually opens our eyes to the treasure of His Word and it becomes a bottomless well of wisdom and an incredible help for life.

But our unbelieving friends don’t understand. They mock us and they make decisions that destroy their lives and we just don’t understand why.

But if we stop and think for a moment, we do know why. They see darkly, unclearly. They don’t know what we do. And that means that, instead of harshly judging them, we should pray for them.

They are not living by the same rule book as you and I are. It seems so basic and yet we Christians seem to have a hard time understanding this.

If you got saved as an adult, you probably understand this so much better than me. You truly experienced a transformation. You know exactly what it means to live in blindness and then have your spiritual eyes opened upon your salvation. While I experienced a transformation as a child, it was much less dramatic.

This is why we should not point fingers of judgment at the world. They don’t get it. They really don’t. That is because they can’t SEE. They have not had spiritual surgery.

Today, let’s mourn–and pray– for our lost family and friends who are honestly unable to see the Truth. And let’s express our humble thanks to the Lord for this undeserved gift of spiritual sight. Only when we are saved can we understand these amazing words:

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound!

that saved a wretch like me

I once was lost, but now am found

Was blind, but now I see!

The Cardinal Rule of Confrontation

2 Comments / February 11, 2013 February 11, 2013

I was a little put out. One of my daughters had been one of the only children not invited to a birthday party among a group of my Christian friends. As I shared my irritation with a friend (mistake #1, I might add), she encouraged me to confront the other mother. After all, Matthew 18:15-17 says if we have a grievance we are to go to that person and share our offense.

But I dragged my feet. Was this a Matthew 18 issue? Sure I was upset. Yes, my daughter’s feelings had been hurt. But was this worthy of a confrontation? Had this mother really “sinned against me”?

Matthew 18 has to do with someone sinning against you. It is not about someone not inviting your child to a party, or your fellow committee member not liking your plan, or a friend bypassing you and turning to someone else for advice. It’s not about the coach not giving your child enough playing time or someone buying something you think they can’t afford.

Look, is there a place for some of these conversations? Absolutely. But not in the context of confrontation.

As I contemplated my situation all those years ago, I came to this conclusion about confrontation:

If I can pinpoint how this person has sinned (and therefore offended God) using scripture, then I need to consider biblical confrontation. If not, then it is probably wise to check my own heart and see if I am not the person who is sinning.

For example, going back to that party, I was offended. But why?

Because my daughter wasn’t important enough for the little girl to invite to her birthday party. Was that a sin on her mother’s part?

Nope. Not at all.

No, the sin was on me. My pride had been hurt and I was placing that before a godly relationship with a Christian sister. Oh, working through this didn’t come easy. But I have learned that if I am hurt or offended, it is wise to wait a few days and to spend some time in prayer, asking God to reveal the state of my heart.

Now, most of us prefer not to ever confront someone and so we ignore Matthew 18 altogether. Instead we gossip and mark the other person as our “un-friend”. We never give them another chance, but, instead, write them off for life.

But perhaps the same rule applies: Did the person really sin? Or did they simply offend me?

So many broken relationships. So many hurt hearts.

As much as it is up to us, we need to just get over it.

Life isn’t perfect. People aren’t perfect. Let’s move on in life. After all, we ourselves are not without our offensive moments, are we? And if there is sin, well, then we’d better obey scripture and confront in a biblical manner.

All these years later, I don’t think that other mother ever knew the hurt that resulted from that missing invitation. I worked through it and we continued our friendship like it never happened.

I have found this rule to be a great one to follow. But, of course, it only works if you are committed to not holding grudges in your heart. But that’s a subject for another day.