Real Life Stories – Page 25

Berry Lessons

2 Comments / June 6, 2013 June 6, 2013

I couldn’t help noticing the other night, as I picked strawberries, the incredible variety of sizes, shapes, and shades. No berry is alike. There are some that are small and misshapen and others that are large and picture perfect. Some are pinkish, others are bright red, and some are red on one side, while remaining a whitish green on the other. Some ripen a bit at a time while others seem to ripen quickly and completely. It is amazing that these ripe berries, no matter their size or shape, taste delicious.

That is unless they have matured while laying on the garden bed of dirt. Then it often gets too moist and they perish to mold and rot and insects. I throw countless berries away every year, as I will reach for a beautiful, bright red berry just to find that one side has rotted away or a hole has been bored into it by some insect. Berries like that, while appearing attractive at first glance, are good for nothing.

Oh my, how much like people these berries are. Just as there are all shapes and sizes of berries, so there are all shapes and sizes of people. Is a large, perfectly shaped berry better than a small, misshapen berry? The world would tell you that it is, but a berry is a berry and sometimes those small, misshapen berries taste better than the large ones. Of course, most of us prefer the pretty berries and anything that is not so pretty probably gets sent to the jam factory. But when you have your own patch (or pick your own at your local CSA) you realize that there are very few perfect berries in life. You also realize that it doesn’t really matter.

I get so frustrated at the narrow definition this culture has for beauty. You have to be a certain body shape (which 90% of us aren’t) and a certain height and weight. We are told that this nose is too small and that one is too large for there to be true beauty. That one is too long-waisted and this one’s hair too thin. Who in the world makes these rules, anyway? Is anyone else sick of being told what is beautiful by Hollywood and magazine editors?

The other thing that we should consider is that, just like every berry ripens in its own given time, so it is, too, with people. We have to be careful not to expect someone to be a mature Christian, when they are not at that point yet in their walk with Jesus Christ, showing themselves to still be a shade of pinkish-green instead of bright red. Oh, the frustration and damage that is caused by harsh judgement on and unrealistic expectations for baby believers. We need to be very, very careful about this.

We can’t control our body size and shape (I am referring here to our healthy size and shape, not overweight, which can be changed) and we can’t control how fast the people around us mature as believers, but there is something we can control–we can keep ourselves out of the dirt.

Laying in the dirt leads to mold and disease and insect infestation. As a new creature in Christ, we have the power through the work of the Holy Spirit, to keep ourselves up and out of the dirt and muck of the world. If we don’t do it, it is very likely that we will end up good for nothing, at least as far as Christianity and sharing the gospel is concerned.

So let’s stop worrying about the things we can’t change and let’s stop casting arrogant, unforgiving eyes on those around us, and let’s start focusing on the thing we can control–keeping ourselves out of the dirt.

And there you have it– a few lessons from the strawberry patch!

How to Succeed in Business

6 Comments / May 30, 2013 May 30, 2013

Twenty-six years ago, a kid, just graduated from college, loaded a used John Deere riding mower on the back of his old pick-up truck and went to work. All these years later, that kid and his bride (my husband and I) have learned a fair amount about running a business. If you are interested in starting your own company or are in the process of starting your own company, you may find these suggestions worthwhile–

1. Have a thankful heart. We often joke around about how we had NO idea what we were doing all those years ago. Eric didn’t go into business to make money. He just did what he loved and what he believed the Lord was calling him to do. As his wife, I just went along for the ride. We didn’t pour over profit and loss statements or balance sheets. We probably should have done a bit more of that, but because we didn’t, we know that God has really protected and cared for us in this venture. We have seen Him work in marvelous ways–helping us to meet payroll or feed our family in the lean years. We try very hard to not take his grace and care for us for granted. A thankful heart, even in the midst of the hard times, is important.

2. Plan for the worst. We try very hard not to over-stretch ourselves financially. We know that at the whim of a culture or the downturn of the dollar, our whole business could change. We keep that in mind as we determine what debt to take out. Eventually, we are trying to work it down to zero, but that takes time. However, we have made some progress and can already see some rewards of our efforts to reduce debt.

3. Work hard. This sounds so simple, but we have noticed that there are so many who aren’t willing to put in the long hours necessary to get a business up and running. I think this is the main reason that we have been successful–because of my husband’s willingness to work hard (not mine–I don’t have near the same drive). Any success we have experienced is mostly because of the gift of hard work that God has instilled in Eric. We see so many people who want to go into business to make easy money. What they don’t realize is that the money doesn’t come easily at all and it takes a lot of hard, hard work and many, many hours. Especially those first five to ten years. Success can only be realized if you are willing to work hard.

4. Don’t sacrifice your family. One of the things I appreciated early on was Eric’s willingness to meet the needs of his family despite the long hours. He always (aside from crazy springtime) makes time to talk to me and the kids. He goes to sports games (most of the time) and plays basketball in the backyard. And, honestly, in our early years, one of the ways he did that was by following God’s command to keep the Sabbath holy. He kept Sundays work-free and our family is stronger because of it. Oh, don’t get me wrong–we did sacrifice as a family with dad’s long hours, but keeping the family a higher priority than the business is important for both the family and the business.

5. Don’t give up! Persevere through the tough times. I know sometimes people look at successful companies and assume that they just got lucky, but it’s not like that. At least it wasn’t for us. We have been through some very difficult times (and know that at any time we could go through them again). Eric just keeps going (and drags me with him, even when I feel like giving up!) He refuses to give up and that has benefited our business over and over again.

6. Treat your customers and employees like you would want to be treated. So often bosses treat others with condescension and harshness. We try very hard not to do that. Oh, we are not perfect, by any stretch of the imagination, but we want our employees and customers to know that they are valued as people to us and that we realize we would not be where we are today if not for them!

7. Follow God’s way as written in His Word. We sometimes get frustrated when we watch (or hear about) other company’s taking money “under the table”, lying on tax returns, and not getting the proper licenses or insurances. But, early on, as Christians, we made the choice to be on the “up and up” with everything we do and we have never regretted it. We can sleep at night because we know that we are doing things as God would want us to and that is what matters most.

8. Don’t get stuck in status quo. No matter what business you find yourself, it is constantly changing. Don’t stick your heels into the ground and determine to stay where you are. That is almost a sure way to kill your company. We have ebbed and flowed with various trends through the years. We have adjusted and changed and moved, all according to where the industry was going. We continue to do this.

9. Be Generous. Don’t hang on to any material blessing too tightly. Use what you have to further God’s Kingdom and to support and encourage Christian brothers and sisters.

10. To God be the Glory. Sure, we may have done some things right, but we have done a whole lot more wrong. But through it all we have tried to honor God. Any credit for any success goes to God alone. Along with that is the realization that any success is fleeting in the scope of life. We put our future in God’s hands and trust Him completely.

These are just a few of the lessons that we have learned and put into practice over the years. When I asked Eric to read over this, his first concern was that I was bragging too much on him. And maybe it does sound like that. I do have a lot of respect for this man who is my husband. However, much of what we have learned has been through much heartache, tears, and many arguments. It was a long and difficult road. My main desire here is to spare some of you the same grief we went through.

Many of you are not running companies, but many of these same principles can be applied to any job…any life. It is my prayer that these principles will be helpful to you, wherever you find yourself in life.

The Cool Factor

Leave a Comment / May 25, 2013 May 28, 2013

Have you ever met one of those people that is just too cool for anything?

They are too cool to laugh or be seen with certain people or to go to a certain store. They look down their noses at certain brands, certain types of people, and certain styles.

And they are usually very cool.

But I have always wondered — how much fun are they missing out on?

Now, I am often berated (especially by my kids) for how “uncool” I am. But one of the wonderful things about growing older is not caring as much about what people think.

That’s why you often see seniors marching to the beat of a different drummer–with what they wear, the things they do, and the life they live. They have learned a valuable lesson: do the things you want to (or the Lord wants you to) and don’t give even a second’s worth of thought to the cool factor.

Of course, there is a measure of common sense to this. As believers, we are supposed to consider the feelings of others. I am not talking about that here. I am talking about doing (or not doing) something because you are scared of what people will say about you.

I have always been somewhat of a “non-conformist”. That can get me in trouble sometimes, but, for the most part, I wouldn’t want to live life any other way. So I am usually willing to try anything at least once.

Take my experience a few years ago in Dominican Republic. They were giving free scuba diving lessons in the pool for resort guests. My husband and I thought, “Why not? We are game. Scuba sounded like a very cool thing to do.”

But, I discovered (or shall I say was reminded) that day that I HATE being underwater. I became totally claustrophobic–and I was only in a stupid swimming pool! I don’t think I will ever be searching for lost treasure ships.

But that is because I don’t like it. No because I feel like someone else wants me to scuba dive or not scuba dive.

This takes on spiritual meaning when we consider that standing up for our convictions is often very uncool.

It is just not cool to avoid certain movies, bands, and TV shows. It is cool to wear immodest clothing, drink beer, and to tell coarse jokes and use foul language.

Unless we are willing to stand firm and risk being uncool, we won’t be able to make a difference for the Lord. After all, how can we be salt and light (Matthew 5:13-16) if we look and act just like everybody else.

So, alas, I know full well that I am totally uncool. But, truthfully, I am okay with that–because God’s thoughts about me are really the only thing that matters…and if He is pleased, then I will be living the life I am supposed to live…regardless of what other people say :)

Baptism ≠ Salvation

6 Comments / May 20, 2013 May 20, 2013

“What?!?” I stared incredulously at my Christian friend. She had just assured another friend of ours that he was definitely going to heaven because he had been baptized. This conversation occurred a very long time ago, by three high school kids trying to sort out life. I didn’t know much, but I did know that you weren’t saved just because you had been baptized.

It’s one of those conversations that sticks in your memory. I remember that we were in gym class during the swim session at the local rec’s pool. I remember the three of us somehow getting around to a conversation about religion, until finally this topic came up. I remember my Christian friend giving this assurance to my other dear friend, even though he didn’t act like a believer, didn’t have any fruit to show he was a believer–why he didn’t even claim to be a believer.

What a lie from Satan to give assurance where there isn’t any.

I was reminded of this incident yesterday, when our pastor gave the perfect analogy. On their wedding day, both the husband and the wife will put a ring on to symbolize their love and fidelity. This ring shows the world that their hearts are taken and unavailable.

But anyone can put on a wedding ring. Nothing stops a lonely, wishful girl from going to the store and buying a wedding ring and putting it on her finger. She can do that and give the appearance that she is married, but does that change the fact that she isn’t?

Nope.

Not at all.

I wish I would have had this analogy all those years ago. It would have helped me explain why baptism is just a symbol of salvation and not an assurance of salvation.

We need to go to God’s Word if we need assurance of our salvation–

Matthew 7

I John 2

James 2

These are just a few chapters and verses (there are many more) of what we will desire if we are truly a believer. Oh, we will mess up and make mistakes often. And, of course, we are all at different stages of growing up in the Lord. But true salvation changes us and our desires. Our hearts will long to please the Savior. We grieve over our sin. We have a desire to live a holy and righteous life, just as Christ commanded.

Baptism has absolutely nothing to do with it.

Baptism is just an important symbol. It’s a way to tell the world that we have decided to follow Jesus and that we are not ashamed of that decision.

This topic of baptism may not even be part of the modern conversation, anymore. I really don’t know. But, while I do not claim to be a theologian, I do try to align myself with God’s Word in everything I write. And I am quite confident that anyone who studies God’s Word will see the truth about baptism. It’s a symbol, not an assurance.

Wednesday Wisdom: Thinking Outside Our Box

Leave a Comment / May 15, 2013 May 15, 2013

It was mid-afternoon and I was running out of energy after a busy morning. I decided it was the perfect time for a cup of coffee. I put a cup into the Kuerig and while it brewed I noticed the May issue of the Voice of the Martyrs newsletter lying on the table. Perfect. I would read while I took a short coffee break.

For a few moments I entered a different world. In this world being a Christian means great sacrifice. I read of a couple who lost a job, their home, and familiar surroundings because of their new found faith. As I turned the page, I learned of a family whose father was ruthlessly shot in front of his young children while his wife had run out to help a neighbor.

I was overwhelmed with how small so many of my problems are. And challenged, too, wondering how strong I would be in similar circumstances. I felt a deep sense of sympathy for my Christian brothers and sisters in other lands. But, mostly, I felt admiration for the firm faith of these believers as they face the unthinkable. Their faith does not disappear under the weight of their trials, but grows stronger. Surely our God is alive!

I wanted to share one of the stories here with you, but I could not find the newsletter online. However, I did find a very similar one on their website. Please take time to read this. I can say with assurance that many (of course, not all) of our trials pale in comparison. Violent movies and video games are part of almost all American homes, and yet most of us aren’t willing to face the very real violence that goes on every day in the lives of those who love the Lord Jesus. They deserve our prayers. Let’s step outside our comfortable boxes for just a moment–

Four months ago, National Liberation Army (ELN) guerrillas demanded that Alicia Castilla leave her home in Arauca, in northeastern Colombia. On the evening of Jan. 7, during a visit from the family’s pastor, assassins entered her home and shot her in front of her three children and her father. She died immediately. The guerrillas had killed Alicia’s husband, a lay-minister, two years earlier.

The guerrillas told Alicia’s 18-year-old son, Hernán, that the rest of the family had three days to leave the region. After that, they warned, the killers would return and kill the other family members one by one.

Alicia was the widow of lay-evangelist Nelson Ramos, who was killed by the ELN in January 2011. Nelson became a Christian two years before his death and often shared the gospel in Saravena, a town near Colombia’s border with Venezuela. A few months after his conversion, the ELN issued its first expulsion order against him and his family.

According to Hernán, the guerrillas never fully explained why they were so adamant about driving the family out of the area. Nelson was shot to death in the family’s home as his wife and two small daughters, now 9 and 6, watched.

After Nelson’s death, Hernán declared that he would avenge his father. He intended to join the Colombian military to gain training in weaponry, but he renounced his vow after a July 2011 encounter with children whose parents had been killed because of their Christian witness. Instead of seeking revenge, he was baptized and became deeply involved in church activities.

Hernán’s mother was at a workshop for widows of martyred believers in December when ELN guerrillas visited their home and warned them for the third time to leave the area. Although Alicia was willing to move, her elderly father was not.

After Alicia’s murder, government authorities refused to remove her body from the crime scene for fear of retaliation by the ELN. Funeral-home workers finally retrieved her body.

Founded in 1964, the ELN is one of several illegal armed groups fighting for control of the rich petroleum resources along the Colombia/Venezuela border. The guerrilla groups use the Arauca area as a narcotrafficking route. They forcibly recruit children into their ranks and persecute those who oppose them, including the church.

You can read more stories of faith and courage at persecution.com. It’s a great site to visit for a “perspective check”. Voice of the Martyrs is an important ministry that helps persecuted believers and is worthy of our support. And, no, I have not been paid to say that! ;)

You can find the above story here.

Peer Pressure Isn’t Just for Teenagers

1 Comment / May 13, 2013 October 12, 2019

The boy actually smiled at me. I was a lowly sophomore and he was a popular senior and he was smiling–at me! I glowed from that smile and eventually we started saying “hi” whenever we saw one another. As prom time approached, I dreamed for a little while but then realistically tossed the idea from my mind. There was no way that he would ask me. Until he did. He actually invited me to go to prom with him.

Only I wasn’t allowed to go to school dances.

While all of my friends and my parents’ friends’ kids went to prom, I was not allowed to go.

Funny thing is — I didn’t really care that much. I didn’t know the boy at all and foresaw an awkward, uncomfortable night ahead of me. I was actually glad I wasn’t allowed to go.

But my point here is: had I begged, pleaded, and screamed I still would not have been allowed to go. Even though “everybody” else was allowed to, I wasn’t.

My parents cared more about my spiritual well-being than they cared about my popularity.

I don’t know if your kids go to school dances and that’s not the point here. I feel blessed to have my kids at a Christian school where we don’t have that issue to even deal with. But many has been the time over the past ten years that we have had to be the unpopular parents because our kids weren’t allowed to go the coolest movie (rated R) or buy the latest video game (way too violent).

Our kids have been mocked, ridiculed, and told that their parents are way too strict. We have been distanced and told that we take entertainment way too seriously and that we judge others (even if we don’t say a word — I think it’s just by our standards).

Peer pressure is not just for teenagers. But if we don’t learn to withstand it as a teenager, it will grow even harder as an adult. That is why it is so important to teach our kids to stick with their convictions and to stand strong, no matter the cost–and then to set that example with our own lives.

This can only come when they understand that pleasing God is more important than pleasing self. If we can teach them (and show them by our own lives) that we are accountable to God and to use His Word to discern the best choices, then the rest will fall into place.

But sometimes we fail as parents. Big-time. In those moments, I am so very thankful for God’s faithfulness and for the privilege of prayer.

What is most important to you? That your child pleases God or that he is the star of the team? That she hold to her convictions or that she is the most popular girl in school?

There is something about us parents that drives us to want our kids to be the ones that everyone else wants to be like. And in our quest for this, we sometimes fall to peer pressure, because in our hearts we realize they won’t be popular if they don’t go to that movie, go to that dance, go to that party.

And it is true. As a kid, I wasn’t all that popular because of my parents’ rules. But all of these years later, I am deeply, deeply grateful for their protection. Because in the scope of life, it matters more that I developed a life of biblical conviction than that I was popular.

As parents, it is our responsibility to protect our kids. Even if they don’t want the protection (and some won’t, especially young teenagers). But if you stick to your guns, it gets better. By the way, be sure to tell your kids why these rules are made. Teenagers need reasons. A rule without a reason almost always leads to rebellion. Take your child to scripture and tell them why you are taking a stand.

And then, after many battles, there comes that wonderful, wonderful day when your teenager comes home and tells you about their opportunity to challenge their friends and to take a stand for discernment…the lost virtue. Those moments make all of the grief so worth it.

Oh, my kids still make choices sometimes that do not please me. But then I remember that I did the same thing as a young person as I tried to sort my way through this filthy culture. That’s where prayer takes over.

So stand strong, my friend. Don’t cave. Loving and pleasing God is so much more important than experiencing the fickle love of man.

How Then Shall We Respond?

Leave a Comment / May 2, 2013 May 2, 2013

I normally shy away from writing about current events, but recently I saw an interview by a popular sports announcer regarding the sexual sin in this country. He was straight forward in expressing what God’s Word says and yet very loving in how he presented it. I admire him very much. It took great courage for him to say what he said.

Why?

Because, as Christians, our views are not only unpopular, but considered downright unloving and repressive in the eyes of the world. It has become an anything goes world and if anyone dares to say that something is actually wrong, they are labeled a bigot and many other choice words.

But this sports announcer hit on a very important topic in his little speech. It is this: I still love you, no matter what you do, but don’t call yourself a Christian while living in perpetual sin. That’s where it gets tough, doesn’t it?

These people want to call themselves believers, even though they go against everything in God’s Word.

So how do we respond?

For me, it is so much easier to extend grace to those who do not claim to be believers. How could they know what is right and wrong if they have not heard? Many in this country today have only a vague notion of who Jesus Christ is. Many have assumed that evolution and abortion and homosexuality are all quite normal views, because Christians have become so marginalized. It is a sad state of affairs, but a good majority of people do not realize that a Christian world view was normal just a short time ago in this country. And so they are doing what they have been taught to do by our public schools, our talk shows, and our magazines–look out for number one: themselves. And honestly, can you blame them? They don’t know any better.

The problem comes for me when people who call themselves Christians do the same thing. Scripture assures us that a true believer will not live a lifestyle of perpetual sin (I Corinthians 6:9; Matthew 7:16-20; I John 2:3-6). YES, Christians make mistakes and may get caught up in something for awhile, but the Holy Spirit convicts us and changes us, so that we cannot stay in that state for a lifetime. If we are doing something wrong, the Spirit’s presence creates in us such an unrest that we can’t find peace until we confess our sin. This is the marvelous, amazing work of the Spirit in the life of a true believer.

So how do we respond to these people who claim Christianity, while going against everything God stands for?

Many of us grow disgusted and angry. How dare they sully the name of my Lord with their profane and ungodly lives? Many of us say absolutely nothing. Hey, if they want to do such and such, it’s their lives. Many of us grow confused. Maybe what I was taught all of these years wasn’t really the right thing, after all, if the whole world says it’s wrong?

Thankfully, scripture shows us in many places what our proper response should be–

COLOSSIANS 4:5-6 Walk in wisdom toward those who are outside, redeeming the time. Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.

II CORINTHIANS 6:14 Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?

2 THESSALONIANS 3:14-15 if anyone does not obey our word in this epistle, note that person and do not keep company with him, that he may be ashamed. Yet do not count him as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother.

I CORINTHIANS 14:33 For God is not the author of confusion but of peace, as in all the churches of the saints.

I CORINTHIANS 16:13-14 Watch, stand fast in the faith, be brave, be strong. Let all that you do be done with love.

Could it be that God knew our human response is to grow angry in the face of opposition? Is that why the words “let all you do be done with love” is added after Paul’s exhortation to stand fast in the faith?

Note that in all of these verses, there is nothing about anger or malice. There is also a strong recommendation to avoid the company of those who claim to be a believer but aren’t living like one. This doesn’t mean we can’t be friends with them–we still need to pray for them and love them and talk with them but I do believe it means that we do not seek their company. They are not our closest confidantes and we should not turn to them for advice or to share our deepest struggles and joys.

This is a crazy, crazy world. I knew it was going the wrong direction even as a teenager, but not even I could have guessed the deplorable condition we would find ourselves in this many years later. As I watch brothers and sisters in Christ suffer persecution across the world, it is with the awareness that an immense thundercloud is just above our heads in this country. We are kidding ourselves if we think the toleration that is extended to everyone else will be extended to us. God’s Word is clear that we will be hated in this world.

And so it comes down to this: do we stand or do we cave? Do we speak truth or do we back ourselves into a corner and try to remain inconspicuous?

And if we stand and speak, we are commanded to do so with love. Love for a lost world, love for blinded people who think they are going to heaven, love for those we meet each and every day who have no idea that Jesus can truly change their lives.

And we need to remember that the biblical definition of love is quite different than what the world is telling us. True love tells the truth. Worldly love says any opinion is valid. True love extends grace and mercy. Worldly love is conditional. True love speaks with kindness and gentleness. Worldly love turns hostile and malicious in the face of disagreement.

May we stand strong but may we do so with true and biblical love!

Wednesday Wisdom: The Incompatibility of Faith and Anxiety

2 Comments / May 1, 2013 May 1, 2013

In this current day it is not difficult to find something to worry about. The economy, financial woes, diseases and illnesses, the future of our country and the church, and struggling relationships are just a few things that can cause us to worry. But our generation doesn’t have the corner on the anxiety market. Throughout the ages, people have struggled with anxiety and fear. Thankfully, the Bible speaks to this sin (yes, it is a sin and not a disorder). In God’s Word we find that not even a sparrow falls unless it is God’s will. When we worry we forget just how big and powerful God is. We forget that His will, His timing, and His ways are not ours. Of course, this is so much easier to write than to live out. John MacArthur wrote a blog series on this topic on his Grace to You website last fall and I want to share one post here today. You can find a link to the whole series after this post. I hope you are challenged by this as much as I was–

If you worry, what kind of faith do you manifest? “Little faith,” according to Jesus (Matthew 6:30). If you are a child of God, you by definition have a heavenly Father. To act like you don’t, nervously asking, “What will I eat? What will I drink? What will I wear for clothing?” is to act like an unbeliever in God’s eyes (vv. 31-32).

Christians who worry believe God can redeem them, break the shackles of Satan, take them from hell to heaven, put them into His kingdom, transform their nature, and give them eternal life, but just don’t think He can get them through the next couple of days. That is pretty ridiculous. We can believe God for the greater gift and then stumble and not believe Him for the lesser one.

The Worrier Strikes Out at God

Some might say, “Why make a big deal out of worry? It’s just a trivial sin.” No, it is not. I suspect many mental illnesses and some physical illnesses are directly related to worry. Worry is devastating. But more important than what worry does to you is what it does to God. When you give in to worry you are saying, in effect, “God, I just don’t think I can trust You.” Worry strikes a blow at the person and character of God.

The Worrier Disbelieves Scripture

It breaks my heart to hear some Christians say, “I believe in the inerrancy of Scripture,” but then live as perpetual worriers. That’s blatant hypocrisy. It is incongruous to say how much we believe the Bible and then live in doubt and worry that God won’t fulfill what He has said in it.

The Worrier Is Mastered by Circumstances

When you or I worry, we are choosing to be mastered by our circumstances instead of by the truth of God. The uncertainties and trials of life pale in comparison to the greatness of our salvation. Jesus wants us to realize it doesn’t make sense to believe God can save us from eternal hell, but can’t help us in the practical matters of life. The apostle Paul reflects a similar desire in Ephesians 1:18-19.

I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you will know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the surpassing greatness of His power toward us who believe.

When you catch yourself worrying, go back to Scripture and have your eyes opened again.

The Worrier Distrusts God

When we worry, we are not trusting our heavenly Father. That means we don’t know Him well enough. Take heart—there’s an effective remedy: study the Word of God to find out who He really is and how He has supplied the needs of His people in the past. That will build your confidence in Him for the future. Stay fresh in God’s Word every day so that His truth is constantly on your mind. Otherwise Satan is apt to move into the vacuum and tempt you to worry about something. Instead, let God’s track record in Scripture and in your own life assure you that worry is needless because of God’s bounty, senseless because of God’s promise, useless because of its impotence to do anything productive, and faithless because it is characteristic of unbelievers.

Find this entire post here, and the entire series on attacking anxiety here.

The World of Unmet Expectations

4 Comments / April 29, 2013 April 18, 2015

This weekend I had the not-so-delightful opportunity to be on both sides of the expectation equation.

On one occasion, I fell woefully short of someone’s expectations of me. The feelings that arise in that situation — frustration, irritation–come rushing over me like a waterfall. I chafe a bit under expectations that I can’t possibly meet and grow quickly frustrated before eventually tossing the whole thing to the wind and trying to forget about it. But it does cause some blocks to be built in the dividing wall of a relationship.

And, then, I was on the other side, as well. I expected someone to do something and when they didn’t do it, those familiar emotions came whirling back into my heart and head. And again some block-building takes place.

Frustration and irritation and wall-building are all routine in the World of Unmet Expectations.

This world is fraught with other dangers, especially if it is a regular occurrence–

–breakdown of communication

–grudges

–anger

–vengeance

You see, we grow to expect certain things. We expect our kids to behave in a certain way, we expect our spouses to treat us in a certain way, we expect our family, friends, leaders, and pastors to do certain things. And the funny thing is–we all have very different opinions of what those expectations are.

Much of it is built during our childhood and what we saw in our homes and churches growing up. Some of it is built from the books we read and the movies we watch. And some of it is simply human nature.

But, wherever those expectations come from, they can cause serious chaos if we don’t make careful effort to keep them as a lower priority than the actual person we are expecting something from.

Let me give an example. Let’s say that I am expecting my child to do something and they choose not to do it. If I make my expectation more important than my child, then I will place myself at the center of the offense and yell and scream and altogether handle it badly. If I make my child more important than my expectation, then I will focus on what exactly needs to be fixed (if there was actually sin involved) and handle it calmly and rationally.

Many times expectations aren’t even sin issues, but simply two people who desire to do two different things.

I am sure you have heard the joke about the newlyweds who fight over the toothpaste tube. Should they roll it or just squeeze it? Or the toilet paper roll. Should it go over or under? That is all about expectations.

And in those situations, someone has to give. That has been a hard lesson for me over the years, one I continue to have to work on. When I have an agenda that includes someone else and they have a different idea, then I have to learn to release my expectations wholly and completely–no sarcastic or hurtful remarks, no sulking, no holding grudges.

When I can do that, my family and friends desire to spend time with me. If I can’t, then I become one of those people that they would prefer not to be around–because they can never make me happy.

Think about the last time you had an argument with someone. Was it over something serious or moral or was it just an unmet expectation of relative insignificance? Was it something that was worth standing on or something that was simply opinion?

We need to keep this in mind when the next situation crops its ugly head–which will probably be today, so let’s keep our eyes open, our hearts humble, and our minds ready!

If Walls Could Talk

Leave a Comment / April 22, 2013 April 22, 2013

Are you the same person both inside and outside of your home?

Aah…what a challenging question. I consider myself to be fairly open and honest with who I am. If you don’t like me, well, then, so be it. What I mean is: I’m not going to purposely offend you, but I am not going to pretend to be someone I am not just because you won’t like the real me, either.

But I can’t deny I am still a little different at home than I am out in public.

When someone does something that upsets me in public, I may frown a bit and fume a bit inwardly. If I am really upset, I may grit my teeth and grumble to my husband. On a very rare occasion, I will say something and try to keep my tone kind. Notice the word try.

But when I’m at home…well, that’s a different story.

A few months ago, I realized just how true this is. I was having a little fit of temper with a couple of my kids while their friend, unbeknownst to me, was waiting in our mud room. Although it is now a bit of joke among us all, it wasn’t very funny to me at the time. Actually, I was quite ashamed of myself.

And I had to ask myself–would I have had that fit of temper if I knew that friend stood listening to me? Absolutely not. I would have controlled myself.

Many of us tend to be very different people when we are around people we don’t know very well.

And it begs the question. What would our walls say about us if they could talk?

What would they say about–

—Our tempers?

–The websites we visit and the movies we watch?

–The tone of voice we use when we talk to our husbands?

–The way we treat our kids? Our parents? The salesperson on the phone? The neighbor who hates us?

What would the walls say about–

–The language we use?

–Our organization and cleanliness?

–Our Christian testimony in our homes?

–Our use of time?

Fortunately– at least for most of us–walls can’t talk.

In this Christian culture, there is so much emphasis on being real. Be real and show your struggles. Be yourself wherever you go. And while I think there is value in being honest in who we are, I don’t always want to show my real self to the public–because it’s not always pretty.

But I am not suggesting that we become fake at home.

No, I am suggesting that we allow the Lord to take control of our lives no matter where we are. That our appropriate reactions and kind responses, even in public, would come from our hearts instead of from social etiquette.

Because only then can we truly be the same genuine and godly person both inside and outside our home.