Joy

Lessons from a Shattered Screen

damaged_iphone_screen

It was a beautiful sunny day. I was doing something a bit unusual for me– I was actually on a job rather than behind a desk. A customer had called asking that their summer containers be replaced with plants for autumn. My husband thought I was the best person for the job and so I found myself getting my hands dirty that day.

As I gathered the plants and tools I needed, I actually gave a brief thought to getting my Otter Box case. I keep it for days I’ll be mostly outside or traveling. But I decided not to.

A dumb decision. I can see that now.

It happened as I was walking to my car for something. I heard the text message sound. It couldn’t wait until I was at the car (I am not exactly sure why??) and so, as I usually do, I pulled my phone from my pocket as I walked. Somehow I lost my grip on it and it fell face down onto the concrete sidewalk.

Now, at this point, I wasn’t really that worried. I have dropped my phone countless times and it has always remained unscathed. I was expecting the same thing this time.

I was in for a big disappointment.

As I picked it up, my heart sank. The screen wasn’t just cracked in a corner, it was completely shattered, and yet the glass was clinging tenaciously to the screen.

I gingerly pressed on the center button. It lit up. I pressed on an app. It responded. I carefully put the phone in the car in a horizontal position and went back to work, berating myself and trying to figure out what I was going to do about this unexpected turn of events as I worked.

I went home, put on the Otter Box cover so I could still use it, and mourned (well, not really, but almost…).

This all happened last Friday. It is now Monday and my phone screen is still a shattered mess. It doesn’t respond real well and so any texting I do is almost cumbersome. It has become my “emergency use only” phone.

My very clever son has offered to replace the screen (he’s already replaced the screens on two other phones) and so my new screen has been ordered and is on its way.

Of course, I can’t have something like this happen to me without thinking through all of the lessons that can be learned from it. I thought of several and just can’t narrow it down to one–

LESSON #1

My shattered screen was really a blessing in disguise. About a month ago I had actually removed some of the apps I tend to press whenever I have a nano-second to look at my phone. I had started to habitually pull my phone out of my pocket in all situations and I knew it was a very bad habit. And so I had removed the apps in an effort to break myself of this behavior. This new turn of events really gave that effort a big boost. Because now my phone isn’t even a temptation because it doesn’t work right.

And–believer it or not– life continues on even without a phone. I know some of you might not believe that but I tell you the truth: Life is not about your phone and the world that is held within it.

We need to pull ourselves out of this tiny-screened world so many of us find ourselves in and make a conscious effort to embrace the world we live in—the living, breathing, shining world that is right in front of our faces.

And so, while it is inconvenient, I am not really unhappy that this happened to me.

LESSON #2

I find it interesting that the phone is shattered but it still works. iPhones remind me a little bit of that Timex commercial (it was Timex, wasn’t it?) from so long ago–

It takes a licking but keeps on ticking.

I was certain when I saw that shattered screen that my phone wouldn’t work. But it did.

I think it is a little representative of people. We can deal and put up with a lot. We are hindered and hampered but we keep taking the next step. Our dreams are shattered, our worlds cave in and yet we have no choice but to keep going.

But so many of us choose to keep living with that shattered screen. Instead of turning to the Lord for complete healing and a changed life, we toil through life with grief and shame. How sad, when we could turn to the Lord for a new heart and walk with Him. How tragic that so many of us live under the shadows of heartache, bitterness, and envy, never turning to the One who can help us step away from our past and provide healing.

No, life does not become perfect. Please don’t hear me saying that. But the peace and joy that comes when we surrender our lives to the Lord cannot be measured. These are not just empty words. I am living proof of this, as are many I know. Find someone who genuinely loves the Lord and is living a life in surrender to His will and just ask them. I know they will attest to this, as well.

LESSON #3

“If only” is a phrase that can haunt us, if we aren’t careful. If only I had put my Otter Box case on my phone. If only I hadn’t dropped it. If only I had just left my phone in the car to begin with.

The phone incident is so minor in life, but much more serious “if only”s haunt many of us, don’t they?

If only I wouldn’t have had that affair.

If only I would have married a believer.

If only I would have disciplined my child when they were a toddler.

If only I wouldn’t have gone there that night.

If only I wouldn’t have said that.

If only he or she wouldn’t have gotten cancer.

But the world of “if only” is a shattering, heart-breaking world where we feel hopeless and helpless. It is a world in which we can’t change a thing.

Somehow, with the grace and mercy of God, we need to pull ourselves out of it. We need to submit ourselves to the perfect will of our heavenly Father and forget the “if onlys”. They just serve as an avenue of discontentment and dissatisfaction.

 

Whew. That’s a lot for one day. Hope I didn’t overwhelm you. Perhaps I should have broken this into several posts. But I hope that some of these lessons I have learned may help you, too.

 

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Making a Choice

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The woman was always down. And, for sure, she had a good reason. When I met her many years ago, her husband had already been gone for five years, a victim of cancer. Our daughters were the same age and got along well together so it naturally led to some conversations. Conversations that always centered on her horrible life and how hard it was. She was forever the victim of awful circumstances and– from what I could see– was content to wallow in despair for the rest of her life. I found it terribly sad for her and for her kids. She had been given very difficult circumstances and had multiplied the pain with her “woe is me” attitude.

I just can’t help but contrast her with another woman who also lost her husband. This woman, while not denying the heart-wrenching pain and overwhelming struggles, refused to give in to self-pity. Even through her pain, she was always looking out for the needs of others and ready to offer her help and resources in any way possible, always aware that she wasn’t the only one struggling in life. Her reliance on God’s strength and her focus on Jesus has been an amazing testimony to all around her.

Two women.

Two totally different responses.

I am not judging the first one, because, honestly, I have no idea how I would react in those circumstances.

But the second one? She has taken something horrible and has shown how God walks with you baby-step by baby-step through the drudgery of long, painful days and never-ending, sleepless nights if you stay focused on Him. She has been a shining example of the strength that God’s grace provides when we turn to Him.

You know, when we sin, we will often blame our circumstances.  Difficult finances, trouble at work, or health issues give us the excuse we need to become full of self-pity, anger, or bitterness.

But, as I think of this second woman, I can’t help but realize–

It’s not the circumstances but how we react to the circumstances that really matters.

No one can force us to pity ourselves, to be filled with angst and despair, or to give way to anger and frustration. They are choices.

As I write, King David comes to mind. Many times he was crushed by despair, surrounded by enemies, and yet he often turns his anguished cry to praise. Psalm 69 is  a good example of this. The first few verses say this–

Save me, O God!
For the waters have come up to my neck.
I sink in deep mire,
Where there is no standing;
I have come into deep waters,
Where the floods overflow me.
I am weary with my crying;
My throat is dry;
My eyes fail while I wait for my God.

But by the end of that very same Psalm, David is praising God–

Let heaven and earth praise Him,
The seas and everything that moves in them.
35 For God will save Zion
And build the cities of Judah,
That they may dwell there and possess it.
36 Also, the descendants of His servants shall inherit it,
And those who love His name shall dwell in it.

He would give voice to despair, but he would always turn his eyes to God and the hope of salvation.

Voicing our despair, hopelessness, and frustration isn’t the problem–It is dwelling in that place of despair–taking up residence in that dark place– for all of our days. It’s never turning our eyes to God and letting Him meet our needs in the way He chooses. It’s growing like a petulant, spoiled child in the face of our trials, instead of submitting ourselves to God’s Sovereignty.

This is a hard conversation. I know that very well. But trials and difficulties are when the “rubber meets the road” so to speak. It’s when we really get to show the world that God is always good and provides for our every need. And it’s when, if we choose to humble ourselves and live obediently to His word, we truly understand the faithfulness of God in a much deeper and fuller way.

The two women, both professing Christians, responded to the same circumstance in totally different ways. One setting a shining example for fellow Christians to follow and the other one alienating even the most loving souls by her constant, self-centered despair.

 

 

I Will Be Happy Tomorrow

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Many of us live our lives perpetually dreaming about tomorrow. We know that we will be happier then and live for that vicarious, vague time that never seems to arrive–

When I am married, then I will be happy.  Until you tie the knot.

When I have children, then I will be happy.  Until you have kids.

When my children are more self-sufficient, then I will be happy.  Until they are out of diapers.

When my children are in school, then I will be happy.  Until they ride off on the bus.

When my children leave the home, then I will be happy.  Until you are an empty-nester.

When I retire, then I will be happy.  Until you don’t have to wake up to your alarm clock.

Somehow these transitions in life never bring us the perfection we anticipated. The next season is just another one filled with joys and heartaches; failures and victories — just like those before it.

The world tells us that happiness always lies just around the corner. Happiness is never where you are, but where you think you should be. Happiness is anything but this. But this is a lie straight from the Father of lies himself.

Perhaps you have purchased the lie. You may be in a funk because you are not living this God-ordained moment with joy, but instead have chosen to be discontent. Maybe you have worked yourself into a state of frustration because today is not tomorrow. We probably all need a Biblical re-orientation.

A quick study of the words rejoice and contentment will make us hang our heads in shame. Here are a few to get you started–

“This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.” (Psalm 118:24)

“Now godliness with contentment is great gain.” (I Timothy 6:6)

And once again, we realize that our worries, problems, anxieties, frustrations and confusions have a solution (notice I didn’t say easy solution) by immersing ourselves in scripture and knowing solid, biblical theology–

1.       The doctrine of sovereignty reminds us that the day we are living is exactly the day that God has ordained for us. (Psalm 37:23; Psalm 139).  We are in the season we are in by His divine design. Perhaps we are living the horrible consequences of our own sin and yet we know that He can make something beautiful from our bad choices. We have to trust in God, realizing that we will never be content with any season we are in until we submit wholly and fully to His sovereignty.

2.       If we have been saved by grace we have a real reason to rejoice right now! (Psalm 33:21; I Peter 1:8) Knowing that we have a Savior allows us to rejoice today, not tomorrow when we perceive that things will be easier or better. Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say rejoice! (Philippians 4:4)

If we have grown discontent because we perpetually long for tomorrow, perhaps we need to re-orient our thinking. Let’s remember that we have many reasons to rejoice today. Let’s choose to be content right now.

A Pleasant Fragrance

pocketbacs

I had the most hilarious thing happen to me the other week. Okay– so maybe not the most hilarious. But it was certainly funny!

But, first, let me preface this story by filling you in on something about me–

I am just a tad bit OCD about keeping my hands germ-free.

With this being the case, I am rarely without a PocketBac. What are PocketBacs, you may ask? They are the little containers of hand sanitizer that Bath and Body Works sells in all kinds of delightful fragrances.

And before you comment or message me about how I am actually making myself less healthy and more susceptible to diseases by my constant usage of this modern day concoction, let me assure you that I do already know that. But old habits die really hard. (I am way more easygoing about this than I used to be, however– just ask my family!)

Okay, so back to the story–

A few weeks ago, I attended a conference. After lunch, I found myself growing a little tired, as I sat in a session with 15 or 20 other people. I tried to pay attention, but finally decided that perhaps a little candy might help me stay alert.

As is my habit, I first needed to make sure my hands were clean before touching something I was going to put in my mouth (even as I write this, I sound a little over-the-top. I think I may have a serious problem here!) and so I put a little dab of hand sanitizer on my hands and discreetly rubbed them together under my desk. I then put a couple of candies in my mouth and turned my attention back to the class.

Suddenly, the teacher stopped, sniffed the air, and then said, puzzled, “I smell something fruity…”

Uh-oh. I knew that the apricot-mango scent of my new pocketbac was rather strong, but I didn’t realize it was that strong. I am pretty sure that she was smelling my hand sanitizer.

I sat there like I knew nothing.

“I do, too!” said one classmate.

“Me, too…” said another.

And I continued to sit there like I knew nothing.

Finally, one lady said, “Oh, it’s the air-conditioner.”

What??

But everyone nodded their heads and murmured, “yes, it must be the AC”, the answer was accepted by the teacher as correct, and the class moved on.

I still have to chuckle when this incident comes to mind–the air conditioner??

It is absolutely amazing to me what “group think” can lead people to believe. But that’s a post for another day. I actually want to think about the word “fragrance” for a moment.

We are so often like I was as Christians. We are this pleasant fragrance of kindness and love that wafts through the room but when someone questions what that fragrance is, we hesitate to mention the name of Jesus. We will mention church but, for some reason, be scared to witness boldly about the change that Jesus Christ has wrought in our lives. So we, instead, hope that people will see that we are genuine believers and then just take in the gospel by osmosis.

But, more often, I fear, is our tendency, as believers, to not be the pleasant fragrance in the room.  Instead of bringing joy and kindness and love wherever we go, we bring gossip, anxiety, or frustration. Instead of serving, we are demanding. Instead of thankful, we are complaining. Instead of bringing humility to our roles of leadership, we bring self-righteous pride. And the stench is not pleasant but instead something that no one else wants.

So, this leads to two questions we have to ask ourselves–

1. Am I the pleasant fragrance of Christ to a lost and dying world?

2. If I am a pleasant fragrance, do people know that it’s because of Jesus Christ or do they just think I’m a “nice guy”?

As this world becomes more and more wicked and unstable, we will shine as lights if we are living for Christ. Our lives should be a beacon of hope in the darkness that surrounds us as we choose to live in obedience to God’s Word. We can choose to give God the glory in all of our circumstances — be they tragic or incredibly wonderful– and we will be the incredible fragrance of life to those who are searching.

Of course, we need to remember that we will not be a pleasant fragrance to those who are delighting in their sin and have hardened their hearts against God. But, that’s okay. That’s how Paul told us it would be (2 Corinthians 2:14-16). Our responsibility is to live a godly life and be a bold witness for Christ. God will take care of the rest.

So let’s be a pleasant fragrance today wherever we may go and let’s be sure to tell people the reason for the hope that is within us (I Peter 3:15), if given the opportunity!

 

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What a Smile Can Do

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Going to a new place where you know few people is never easy. Fitting in at a new church can be especially hard. Finding myself in this position last summer, I finally made a decision to help with the children’s ministry on a weekly basis so that I could possibly get to know a few people. And, happily, this did help me feel much less like a stranger when I walked in the church doors every Sunday morning. But little did I know that one of the best things that would result from my weekly service would be my acquaintance with one of the little guys I saw every week.

This little boy, for whatever reason, started giving me a giant “hi!” and a big hug whenever he would see me. He would smile so brightly at me and it would make me feel so much better– no matter what mood I was in. This started many months ago and continues even now when I see him on Sundays, even though we are taking a summer break. Needless to say, he has certainly taken a special place in my heart.

Now, I don’t really know him and he doesn’t really know me, but can I even begin to tell you the warmth that fills my heart when he smiles at me? His smile says to me, “I think you are special!” and his hug says, “I like you!”

You see, he’s a little boy, so I know there are no social mores or hidden agendas behind his smile. I know that his hugs are genuine and his smiles from his heart.

What happens to us as we get older? We may smile, but it often doesn’t reach our eyes. We may even offer hugs, but they are often born out of a sense of duty. Why can’t we freely give smiles and hugs like little children? Why do we have to grow out of this delightful habit?

It’s probably because life teaches us some pretty difficult lessons and we learn that we can’t trust everybody. We become skeptics. We build walls and put on our armor and then cover it all up with a fake smile.

But thinking about this sweet boy who has brought joy to me in such a simple way has made me realize that I, too, can bring joy to others simply by giving them a genuine smile — and even a hug, if the situation is appropriate– making them feel important and loved.

You see, it doesn’t really take money or fame or wisdom or stuff to impress most people. No, most people just want to be loved.

And a genuine smile is a great start to showing that we truly care about others.

As I write, one final thought comes to mind — perhaps we should start giving some genuine smiles to our immediate family members. So often we save our best smiles for friends and acquaintances. Let’s try this week to show our families that we are genuinely glad to see them. What a simple–but effective– way to add some joy to our homes this week.

Are you ready to smile with me this week?

:)

 

 

 

Worldview Changes Everything

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We hadn’t seen the girl for a long time. We knew her like we know our postman. Barely. But enough to smile and say Hi. I didn’t even know her name.

She referred to her husband in the past tense in the course of our conversation. Which made us wonder. Was everything okay?

Turns out everything wasn’t okay.

Unbeknownst to me, my small question had just opened the door for a very interesting conversation.

She shared about how she and her husband had never really felt anything for each other. They had just dated as kids and after you date you get married. She realized that they had really only been just friends more than anything else and she decided after a few years that this wasn’t the way she wanted to live the rest of her life. There was no enmity, no arguing–but there wasn’t any love, either.

I got the distinct impression that this was more about her not feeling love than him not feeling love. She went on to share that her choice had left him broken-hearted and devastated. She truly felt bad for him, but not that bad. The separation had recently become final with that ugly word divorce.

It all made complete sense. If you have the world view that your happiness is your first priority then it made complete and absolute sense. I don’t fault her. She is just living out what all of us have been taught for at least the last 30–if not 40– years: Our personal happiness is the most important thing in the world. We cannot be the human being we were always meant to be (although with most of the world believing in evolution, what does that even mean, anyway? What exactly were we meant to be if we are just a bunch of cells thrown together??) But I digress. As I was saying–we are taught that we cannot possibly be all that we were meant to be if we aren’t happy. Many marriages, children, parents, friendships, and other relationships have been sacrificed on the altar of personal happiness.

But there is an intrinsic problem with this world view–we are searching for something that can’t be found, even if we have more money, a better body, or the perfect marriage. Happiness cannot be found in perfect circumstances. Even when we think we have found it for a year or two, it is so elusive, that as soon as we think we have grabbed a hold of it permanently, it disappears again and we are left empty-handed or frustrated, continuing our search elsewhere.

No, true happiness isn’t to be found in changing our circumstances, but instead it is found in fixing our eyes on Jesus and submitting ourselves to God’s plan for our lives. True happiness is found in obedience to God’s Word. (Psalm 37:4, Proverbs 16:20, Proverbs 28:14, and almost all of Psalm 119)

The time wasn’t right, but I so wanted to share with her that God can fill her heart with love — deep and abiding love– for her husband. I wanted to tell her that Jesus isn’t just a name or some historical figure that people talk about but that He’s real and is making a real difference in my life and many other lives of true believers. That He has radically saved and changed me. And my husband. And our kids. I mostly wanted to tell her that He can radically save and change her.

But after she had told us about what had been going on in her life, we were out of time and we had to head different directions. And so I had to walk away from that conversation rather dissatisfied at the outcome. Thinking I could have done better. Said something wiser. But, alas, the opportunity was over.

But we left realizing that the world view that most of us have taken to heart is an outright lie from the pit of hell.  And, lest we Christians become a little “uppity” here at this point, think for just a moment about how important your happiness is in your own life. Oh, we may not walk away from a marriage or do anything so drastic, but this quest for personal happiness plays itself out in millions of small ways every day, causing arguments, strife, and heartache. You see, whether we are Christians or not, when we fall for this lie– when we make our own happiness our most important priority– we not only end up bringing disappointment and turmoil to our own lives, but to many lives around us, as well.

Let’s find our happiness and joy in Jesus, delighting in and obeying His Word and submitting to His will for our lives. **Only then are we be able to say that we are truly happy.

 

** At least until the next time we find ourselves focusing on ourselves yet again–it’s such a cycle. Permanent and everlasting happiness will come in heaven and not before. Another thing to remember.

 

 

Only God

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It was a cold, windy day and I had two boxes of flowers in my car. We had them left over from a garden show and I was determined to keep them from a lonely death in my garage, while giving a few friends a little taste of spring in this long winter. As I pulled up to a friend’s house, I remembered that there was another lady there at her house. As I got out of the car, I decided spontaneously to take an extra hyacinth in with me and give it to her. I don’t know her all that well, but, hey, who turns down a spring-scented flower? Especially after this winter!

As I handed her the flower, her face lit up and she thanked me.

I thought no more of it. Until I got a thank-you card from this woman a week or so later.

You see this woman’s mother lives with her. And she has terminal cancer. She had given up. This is a portion of the note:

I don’t know flower names, but the minute Mom saw it she exclaimed, “Where did you get that! I love hyacinths. We can plant it in the front yard come spring.” That is the first time my mother looked ahead with any joy.

Now, here is the thing– I had NO idea that her dying mother’s favorite flower was a hyacinth. I didn’t even know she had a mother who has cancer. I could just as easily have given her a daffodil or tulip, both of which were with me in my car. Why did I choose to give her a hyacinth?

But God knew. God knew that a hyacinth, specifically, would brighten up this woman’s mother’s day like nothing else. He knew it would be a source of encouragement to both of them in ways I could never have imagined.

It’s funny, but I continue to be amazed at how much God cares about the small stuff in our lives. How can this be? There is so much hurt and pain and tragedy everywhere. There are wars and rumors of wars. There are failing economies. And yet, amidst all of this, God cared enough to bring this woman the “right” flower.

What an awesome God we serve.

 

 

 

This Is the Day

1327541_20901547As I have muddled through the last few days, I have struggled. The winter has been long and filled with snow and ice. It has been absolutely frigid and cloudy most days and now I am fighting a cold. It is starting to feel like spring will never arrive.

But then God reminded me that He has made this day and I am to rejoice in it (Psalm 118:24). These days. This winter. And I have to continue to be faithful even when all I feel like doing is putting on sweatpants, wrapping up in a blanket, and watching TV.

There are no conditions attached to this verse. Wouldn’t it be easier for our flesh if there were?

This is the day the Lord hath made, rejoice if everything is going your way or rejoice if you got that promotion you wanted, or rejoice if the sun is shining.

But, as much as we would like to, we can find no conditions attached to this verse. We are to rejoice in each new day God grants us.

The best way to get a good start on our day is to get up with these words on our lips: “This is the day the Lord hath made, I will rejoice and be glad in it!”

There is lot to be done and I am to do it cheerfully! How much easier is this task if I acknowledge that, no matter what the day brings I can rejoice, knowing that God is in control and that I can rest in His hands, trusting Him.

And, ironically, it is when I can fight my flesh and actively accomplish my work for the day, I am energized and fulfilled. On the other hand, when I give in to my fleshly cravings and lay around all day, I am filled with lethargy and a vague sense of dissatisfaction.

So which will it be today? I choose to rejoice!

I am so thankful that God cares enough about me to remind me that He has made this day and that I am to rejoice in it!

 

Summer to Winter in Three Hours Flat

Summer WinterAs we lay on rafts in the blue Caribbean sea, soaking up the sun one last morning, it was with the knowledge that in just a few short hours we would be back in Pennsylvania where a cold front had swept in which included not only cold temperatures but a biting wind.

As we left the warm water we drank in one last glimpse of the palm trees, turquoise water, and white sand and then headed in to do our final packing.  A few hours later, we climbed on to a big plane that flew us north to winter.

And winter it was, too. Within a three hour flight we went from almost 90 degree temperatures to 32 degree temperatures. Talk about a shock to the system. Thankfully, we were prepared for the cold temps with warm coats waiting in the car. We went home to a warm house and climbed into a bed toasty warm with a down comforter, while the winds raged all around. There was a moment or two during the night that I felt fairly certain we would be carried to Oz. But, no, when we woke up we were still in cold Pennsylvania.

As I lay there listening to the bitter winds blowing, I couldn’t help but think of the warm, tropical evenings we had experienced the previous week– just a few short hours south by plane. And then I thought about how often our personal “winters” often come on so suddenly, as well.

We will be happily enjoying a summer-like existence filled with peace and good things and Bang! We will get a diagnosis or a pink slip or a phone call. And life changes. In an instant, we are transferred from summer to winter.

But many of us do not have our winter coats and warm blankets in place for that moment. Instead we have poured all our energy and efforts into enjoying life and fulfilling ourselves and finding our “purpose”.

We forget that a deep relationship with God is what prepares us for those long winter days and evenings ahead of us. We forget that studying and knowing God’s Word is the warmest coat possible and that a consistent prayer life functions as the warm blanket that keeps our winters bearable.

When things are going well, our relationship with God doesn’t seem quite as important. We don’t really need Him in our daily lives, because we have everything we could possibly need available to us and feel quite confident in our self-sufficiency. It becomes hard to fit in time with God amidst our busyness and we can’t always see the importance of it. At that point, we have a choice to make: will we forget God or will we strive to know Him more in our good season of life?

Warm coats and blankets do not appear out of thin air and neither does a deep relationship with God.

When our summer suddenly turns to winter, will we be caught alone without any protection or will we already be relying on Him for our daily decisions and choices?

 

 

The Magic Pants

microfiber

I feel a little silly even writing this post. I know that some of you won’t get it at all. But there may be just a few of you who do. So I am going to share this story.

I made the mistake of wearing my favorite pants the first day of my mission trip. I knew the first half of the day would be spent traversing the hills and rocky pathways of two different ghettos. I wanted to be comfortable. And while I knew we would be doing some painting in the afternoon, I also knew there was also some outdoor work that needed done. I hoped to be assigned to that.

But as we sat at lunch and were assigned our afternoon duties, it became clear that there wasn’t enough work outside for more than one person to be assigned the outdoor duty — and it was going to be a man, not a woman. My heart sank, as I looked at my precious pants.

You may wonder why I was so attached to these pants. Well, for starters, they cost more than I usually spend on any piece of clothing. They were made of microfiber and were super comfortable, while still looking really nice. I was just not quite ready to cover them with paint splatters, rendering them useless for future wear.

I silently berated myself for putting them on in the first place.

As we started on our project– a small dingy kitchen with semi-green walls and lots of spider webs and dirt, I concentrated on clean-up. Maybe I wouldn’t have to paint at all! I felt a little surge of hope.

That hope died, however, as it became clear I would need to help paint. I sighed with resignation and went and got a bowl of white paint and a brush to get started on a door.

As I started moving the brush up and down, I had a little dialogue going with God.

“I really didn’t want to mess up these pants, God.”

“They are just pants.”

“I know, but they are my favorite pants!”

“They are just pants. You can get more.”

“Maybe, but what if I can’t?”

“Look at these people and how they live? Some don’t even have enough to eat! How can you be worried about a pair of pants, when you have so many other pairs at home?”

The conversation went on like this for several minutes. Not that He was actually talking to me, it was just the back and forth going on in my mind between my desires and the TRUTH of the situation.

Until, finally, I surrendered my favorite pants to Him.

And, so, when the first drop of paint spilled on my pants, I took it “like a man”. I may have given a tiny little sigh, but I had already resigned myself to the inevitability of it. I will admit that I did continue to paint very carefully, being cautious not to wipe my hands on my pants. This was a challenge for me, as I am usually a very messy painter.

When I got about three spots on my pants, I decided that it couldn’t hurt to see if I could wipe them off, so the spots would at least be less noticeable. Perhaps I could at least save them enough for wear around home.

Imagine my surprise, when not only did the spots become less noticeable, but disappeared completely! Apparently, the fabric did not soak up the paint, but instead kept it only on the top layer. Whatever the reason, my pants, with the aid of a few wet wipes, were spotless after an afternoon of painting. I was speechless.

I would get to keep my favorite pants, after all! After that initial conversation with God, I had come to a place where I had sacrificed them with a heart of joy and surrender, and God had seen fit to give them back to me.

I don’t know why, but I am thankful to Him for this little way He showed He cares. I know I don’t deserve it.

 

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