Struggles – Page 11 – Growing 4 Life

My Personal Christmas Carol

2 Comments / December 21, 2015 December 6, 2017

“Men’s courses will foreshadow certain ends, to which, if persevered in, they must lead,’ said Scrooge. ‘But if the courses be departed from, the ends will change. Say it is thus with what you show me.” Charles Dickens

I sat cozily in my recliner with a mug of hot coffee on the table beside me. This was the morning I would catch up on my Bible reading. Somehow with all of the holiday activity, I had managed to fall a few days behind schedule. I opened up my chronological Bible to pick up where I had left off. I looked down and saw that I was starting Ephesians. What I didn’t realize was just how convicted I’d be by the end of reading this short epistle of Paul’s.

As I read through all six chapters that morning, several verses jumped out at me, pointing out a particular sin in my life that I had downplayed until I almost believed it wasn’t a sin. Almost. It brought to mind Hebrews 4:12–

For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.

This particular December morning, God’s word was certainly piercing my soul, showing me a sinful habit that has yielded unwanted fruit in my life. And will continue to do so unless I change it.

A little later on that same day, I turned on my favorite version of A Christmas Carol. It stars George C. Scott as Scrooge and Edward Woodward as the “ghost” of Christmas Present. It’s a great version.

I was working on something else while watching so I wasn’t paying real close attention to the dialogue. But as Scrooge knelt over his own grave asking if these things of the future would be or just might be, it hit me–

All of us have futures that will be that are based on the choices we are making today. Unlike Scrooge, most of us do not have the opportunity to have our future illuminated so clearly before our eyes by the “ghost” of Christmas future. But we do have the Word of God which clearly shows us the narrow path of righteousness and the dreadful consequences of walking the broad way.

So why then do we stay on our path to destruction?

I think it is because it happens so subtly and so gradually.

Scrooge never set out to be a miserable, stingy old man. When asked what they want to be, no twenty year old ever says that they hope to be a homeless drunk or a lonely, cold-hearted woman.

But every action, every choice, and every attitude we cultivate about our circumstances add up and lead us somewhere. And we have a great deal of freedom in determining where that place will be. For some of us it is leading us to miserable loneliness and to the devastating health and financial consequences of self-indulgence. For others, it is leading to peace of mind and strong family bonds.

How easy it is to talk ourselves into sin with a mental promise to change tomorrow. Our pride and love for self keep us careening on the path to destruction, somehow talking ourselves into postponing change. As we read, it is probably very easy for us to think of someone who is really on the pathway to destruction–like a friend who drinks too much or a father who spends too much time at the office but I’d like to throw out a challenge to you: what are the behaviors and attitudes that are leading you to a place you don’t want to go? Where have you decided you are going to do things your way and ignore the principles of God as laid down in His Word?

Of course, the great news is that we don’t have to keep going in the wrong direction in our lives. We can choose to leave the broad way of destruction and take up traveling on the the narrow path of righteousness. Whether it’s an addiction to drugs, food, alcohol, or even to social media, we can make a choice this very day to change. Whether it’s anger, a habit of lying, an unforgiving heart, gossip, sexual sin, or any other sin named in scripture, we can choose, by the strength of the Holy Spirit living in us, to make changes.

God used Ephesians to convict and challenge me to change. And it won’t be easy.

Sometimes change feels downright impossible, but God promises us victory– maybe not 100% of the time (as we will continue to fight our flesh all our years on this earth) but we can have victory over sinful habits. We don’t have to throw up our hands in defeat and shout “I give up!” Check out I Corinthians 15:57; I Corinthians 10:13; I John 1:9; Ephesians 6:10; Psalm 3:8; Romans 8:31-32; and Proverbs 21:31 for some biblical encouragement.

I have had victory over other sins. I know that God not only can deliver me from sinful habits, but He already has done that many times over the years.

And, so as I was reading the other morning, I realized that I don’t need any ghost to tell me about my future, because I have the Bible. And that is enough for me. Because it’s only by being in the Word that we can ever have any hope of real and lasting change–the kind of change that reaches way down deep into our hearts and changes us from the inside out.

Obstacles

9 Comments / December 7, 2015 December 7, 2015

The dogs are menacing and terrifying– much more so than the barking dog in the picture above. Since I don’t get my camera out in the middle of an attack, I have no picture of the actual dogs. But let me start at the beginning.

Around five years ago, I started running and I would always hate passing this particular house. The dogs would run out on to the road and I would try to act like I didn’t care, shouting at them, and scooting past as quickly as possible. But then came knee surgery and that was the end of running for me.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago, when I decided that I would see if I could get into the habit of walking. Since my dogs love going for walks (and my Chocolate Lab could stand to lose a little weight!), I decided to take them with me. Unfortunately, I need to pass this house where these dogs reside to reach both developments I like to walk in.

The first few times, the owner saw me coming and called them inside. I started to relax when I walked by, thinking she had them under control now.

And then there was the day last week that we were on our way back home. I crested the hill and spotted the dogs. My heart started pounding in fear. I was across the road from where they were, so I scrambled up the embankment next to the road and onto the field to put as much distance between me and them as I could. And then I started walking really fast.

But before I could blink, those dogs had run right across the road, up the embankment, and stood circling my dogs and growling. And this was no friendly growl. I have not been that frightened in a long time. I started screaming at them and, finally, after what seemed like an eternity– but was probably only a few seconds–the owner came out and called them and they left us.

My heart was beating like crazy. I had not been that scared for a very long time. What would I have done if the owner had not heard me? I had no idea.

Now what? I thought about this the whole way home. Would I keep walking? Or just give up?

I decided that I was not going to let a couple of dogs scare me and so I continued to walk, always taking great care when I’d go by that house and yet assuming that the owner wouldn’t let such a thing happen again, as she could visually see (and hear) just how frightened I was by her dogs.

But I assumed quite wrong. This past Saturday, my daughter and I decided to take the dogs for a walk in the beautiful sunshine. As we approached the house, my eyes scanned the horizon for the dogs but didn’t see them. I breathed a sigh of relief. Unfortunately, the relief was naive and short-lived, for as soon as I passed the barn, I saw my two formidable enemies standing there. I knew what was coming. I told my daughter to pick up and hold our small dog and I stood there, this time with a can of Mace in my hands, and tried to defend myself and my Lab as much as possible.

We must have been quite a sight there in the middle of the road–me with my flying can of mace, screaming at the top of my lungs and my large Chocolate Lab that may as well have been Winnie-the-Pooh, for all the responding she did. She literally just stood there–which I guess is good or it could have grown very, very ugly.

Just about the time I thought those teeth were going to sink themselves into my dog, the owner came out and called them off. I asked her-as kindly as I could muster–to pleeeease put up a fence for her dogs. But even as I asked it, I knew that it would never happen. It’s just something she says to the people who feel threatened as they walk by her house.

So now I am not sure what to do. But I am leaning towards never walking by her house again. It’s just too frightening and I really don’t know what those dogs would do with their bared teeth, should their owner happen to be occupied.

And it makes my heart sink, because I had been working myself into a good habit of walking until this. It’s so discouraging.

But as I was thinking about this, I realized that most of life is like this. Whenever we want positive change, we will run into obstacles. Things we didn’t count on. The stuff you can’t plan. Whether you are working on a healthier body, a better marriage, sticking to a budget, or you have a goal to be in God’s Word, you can almost be guaranteed that something will happen along the way to derail you– if you let it.

What is the best way to respond to these obstacles? How do we keep from jumping ship? For many of us (myself included) the path of least resistance is to throw up our hands in defeat and comfort ourselves with the fact that at least we tried.

But will this take us to where we want to go? And, more importantly, is this how God would want us to respond?

Godly Christian living is really hard work. It’s full of obstacles and discouragement. But we can’t let that stop us from doing what’s right. For if we do, we will stop growing. And if we aren’t growing, we are shrinking. There is really no neutral.

And so, I have been trying to think outside the box a bit. How do I get past that house with my dogs in peace? I can’t walk the other direction, because there is a dangerous hill where cars fly. That feels even more dangerous than passing the dogs. I haven’t really solved the problem yet but I haven’t given up. At least not yet. Although, I have to admit, it’s very tempting.

But all of us face obstacles. Any positive change we try to make is hindered by obstacles and trials. And so we pray for strength and we keep walking in the right direction. Sure, our best laid plans may have gone awry, but the Lord knows all that. No obstacle or trial surprises God. Even menacing watch dogs don’t escape His notice. And somehow, there is great comfort in that.

Mixed Signals

2 Comments / November 30, 2015 November 30, 2015

Did you ever date someone who gave you mixed signals? I had a few experiences like that. They would say they didn’t want to date me, but then their actions would not match their statement. I am sure many of us had to work our way through those mixed signals given to us by the opposite sex in our dating years.

Unfortunately, mixed signals are quite common when it comes to the world of religion, as well. Have you ever been around one of those people that claims to be a Christian but doesn’t live it? They don’t only claim to be one, but they use all the right vocabulary when they talk about religion, sprinkling their conversations with a generous amount of Bible verses and good-sounding theology.

Meanwhile, their lives are filled with all of the things God hates with no conviction to change. They look just like the world in almost every way and defend it as acceptable in the eyes of God.

They are what we would generally call a “hypocrite.”

Hypocrite: : a person who claims or pretends to have certain beliefs about what is right but who behaves in a way that disagrees with those beliefs

Last night my daughter was telling me about a young TV star who presents quite the confusing Instagram. She claims to be a Christian, but on her page she posts verses alongside almost pornographic images of herself. While this is a blatant example of hypocrisy, this is not uncommon among movie stars and athletes.

But it isn’t just movie stars and athletes that are hypocrites. There are plenty around. I am sure you can think of at least one right now.

And these hypocrites can really wreak havoc when we are trying to share the good news of the gospel. Their lack of holy living, their arrogance, and their disinterest in interpreting the Word of God correctly can really be stumbling blocks for many people. They do an immense amount of damage for the cause of Jesus Christ. And it can be frustrating for those of us who are really trying to live out a godly life and share the good news with others.

So what do we do about these folks giving mixed signals?

These are the folks that are living in sin, so while some confrontation may be in order, you have to decide very carefully if it should come from you. If you do decide it should, make sure your heart is brimming over with love for that person.

But if you don’t believe you should be the one confronting the person, then what can you do with all of the damage this person is doing by their mixed signals?

I would make a few suggestions–

Keep striving to live a holy, godly life. The seeds we plant will yield fruit in the future. And people will see that fruit. They will see the fruit of the hypocrite and they will see the fruit of the one who was dedicated whole-heartedly to God. Just keep doing what’s right.
When these names come up in your conversations about salvation with others, point their eyes away from the hypocrite and to the Word of God. As believers, Jesus is our perfect example. We need to keep our eyes on Him and get them off of people– whether they be sincere Christians who struggle with sin (of which I am one) or blatant hypocrites.
Pray for the hypocrite. Pray that God would open his or her eyes so that they could see the truth of God’s Word. So often we express frustration or irritation with someone, but we rarely will pray for that person. And, honestly, it is actually pretty hard to pray for someone who is making your life more difficult, so that does make sense. But praying for someone not only helps them, but also changes your heart–filling it with genuine love from the Father for this person.

While it seems that hypocrites are increasing by leaps and bounds in this current age, I doubt this is a new problem. Wherever you find freedom of religion and a pop culture that includes Christianity, you will find hypocrites. After all, you won’t be a hypocrite if you know your freedom–sometimes even your very life– is on the line. I guess that would probably be the one bright spot in being part of the persecuted church. No fakers there.

But, while persecution is probably coming to the Western world sooner rather than later, in the meantime we need to not only put up with hypocrites, but try to genuinely love them, praying that the blinders would be lifted from their eyes.

Two Types of People

Leave a Comment / November 25, 2015 November 25, 2015

I was listening to Gateway to Joy the other day and heard Elisabeth Elliot say something like this: “there are only two kinds of people: the kind who complain and the thankful kind.”

And I had to ask myself:

Which kind am I?

I guess none of us are either kind all the time, but which kind am I most of the time?

The really great thing about this question is that we get to choose what kind of person we will be. It isn’t like the question are you short or tall? While we can’t change our height, we can change if we are a complainer or if we are thankful.

I would say that I am overall a pretty happy person, but these last couple of years have challenged that a bit. I have been thrown out of my norm, forced to develop a new normal, and I have rebelled a bit against that. I have had many moments– even months– that I have not been thankful. I have blamed it on my circumstances.

But God, I don’t want this in my life.

Slowly but surely, God is teaching me that my joy is not dependent on my circumstances. My grateful heart is not dependent on what’s going on in my life. Instead it comes from a heart surrendered to the will of the Father, trusting in Him and knowing that whatever is going on in my life is for His glory and my best.

This is a very hard lesson to learn, no matter what change in life we face. Or what circumstances. We all have them, don’t we? We traverse on this troubled and fallen earth where trials abound. We can all think of plenty of reasons to complain. But when we choose thanksgiving, we are like a lighthouse on this dark earth.

Let me give you an example.

I know two older women who have now lived out most of their lives. They have married, raised a family, and watched grandchildren grow up. They have health issues and life has changed considerably for both of them over the past ten or so years, giving them much to complain about.

But these two women are like night and day in how they face their circumstances and the contrast is remarkable.

The one complains frequently about her circumstances. The other one chooses to be thankful despite her circumstances. The complainer talks negatively about everyone around her. The other one does not. The complainer rarely has a positive thing to say. The other one is inspiring and full of joy. The complainer is lonely and has few friends. The other one is loved dearly by many. One is showing me what not to be like when I am old and one is creating a beautiful legacy.

One of these women is joining the roiling, heaving mass of discontented humanity and the other one is standing out like a lighthouse on the shore, offering hope despite life’s hard times.

This contrast has given me cause for great thought. I want to be creating a beautiful legacy of joy and thanksgiving. But how do I get there?

Perhaps the change starts in our minds, where we first get our initial thought of complaint. Most of us are wallowing in sinful, negative thoughts before ever speaking. And if we want to change, we need to recognize this. 2 Corinthians 10:5 commands us to take every thought captive. Captive. Instead of letting our thoughts take control of us, we are to take control of them. This is where I fail so often.

I have that thought of sadness or irritation and I will feed it. Instead of taking it captive, I will set it out to pasture to gobble up all of my peace. And yet, life is so much better when I take those thoughts captive as instructed in scripture.

And so I am learning to choose joy and thanksgiving. In my Bible Challenge reading this week, I read that wonderful passage in I Thessalonians 5, including verse 18 about giving thanks always. God’s Word speaks to so many of our problems and struggles. But changing is no easy process and needs to be done very intentionally through the power of the Holy Spirit, just like the rest of our Christian lives. Intentional submission to God’s sovereignty, intentional scripture study and prayer time, intentional choices that lead to pure, holy, and thankful lives. Until one day God calls us into His presence to live with Him forever. The Hope of Heaven–now that is something for which to be truly thankful!

Forsaking and Fleeing

2 Comments / November 12, 2015 November 8, 2021

Then all the disciples forsook Him and fled.

These words startled me when I was reading my assigned passage from the gospels for the Bible Challenge the other day. I have read through Matthew many times, but for some reason, these words from the second half of Matthew 26:56 really made me stop and think that morning.

Peter’s denial happens later on in that chapter but before Peter ever denies Christ, Matthew tells us that all of the disciples have left their Messiah’s side when they realized that Jesus was being arrested. As I went on in the chronological reading, I discovered that Mark recorded this in much the same way–

Then they all forsook Him and fled. (Mark 14:50)

These eleven men (the twelfth had just betrayed Jesus), had seen Jesus, our Savior, Himself in the flesh. They had walked and talked with Him. And yet they fled from His side when the going got rough. They had seen Him turn water into wine (John 2:1-12), watched Him raise a dead man (John 11:38-44), and had witnessed the healing of the multitudes (Matthew 12:15). These same eleven men had watched as a few fish and several loaves of bread fed a huge, starving crowd–twice! (Matthew 14:17-21 and Matthew 15:33-39). Astonishing and incredible miracles were just part of the course of a day with Jesus and these eleven men had witnessed them over and over again as His disciples.

Not only did they see miracles, but they sat under the teaching of Jesus, the perfect Teacher. They had learned wisdom and doctrine from God Himself.

They have spent three amazing years following and serving the true Messiah. And yet, when things get a little frightening, they all flee.

All of them.

Not one single one of them stood by Jesus when He was arrested.

Thankfully, their legacies do not stop there, amidst failure and fear. Instead, every single one of those disciples (with the exception of Judas, of course) went on to live devoted and whole-hearted lives for Christ. They traveled to places like India, Russia, and Persia spreading the gospel. They all, without exception, went on to do big things for the sake of Jesus Christ. (See Below)

What encourages me about this is that, quite clearly, failures and lapses in courage do not disqualify us from running the race that has been set before us. God knows our thoughts and desires. He can see when our hearts are stubbornly rebellious or when we are repentant and ready to submit to Him. He sees every sin we commit. Every failure. Every time we cower in fear. And yet, despite all of this, He loves and forgives us.

Somehow, knowing that the disciples forsook Jesus at such a critical time but then went on to spread the gospel far and wide is reassuring for me. It means that we can forsake and we can run, but there is forgiveness waiting for us when we choose to continue moving on for the sake of Christ.

God’s free gift of salvation and forgiveness for sins is not for perfect people who have mastered their sinful natures. Instead, it is for me. And for you. It is for cowardly, sinful people who make really bad choices and fail over and over again. How thankful I am for God’s marvelous grace and mercy!

If you are not familiar with what happened to each of the disciples, here is a brief overview taken from this article at Christianity.com—

Into All the World
Reports and legends abound and they are not always reliable, but it is safe to say that the apostles went far and wide as heralds of the message of the risen Christ. An early legend says they cast lots and divided up the world to determine who would go where, so all could hear about Jesus. They suffered greatly for their faith and in most cases met violent deaths on account of their bold witness.

PETER and PAUL were both martyred in Rome about 66 AD, during the persecution under Emperor Nero. Paul was beheaded. Peter was crucified, upside down at his request, since he did not feel he was worthy to die in the same manner as his Lord.

ANDREW went to the “land of the man-eaters,” in what is now the Soviet Union. Christians there claim him as the first to bring the gospel to their land. He also preached in Asia Minor, modern-day Turkey, and in Greece, where he is said to have been crucified.

“Doubting” THOMAS was probably most active in the area east of Syria. Tradition has him preaching as far east as India, where the ancient Marthoma Christians revere him as their founder. They claim that he died there when pierced through with the spears of four soldiers.

PHILIP possibly had a powerful ministry in Carthage in North Africa and then in Asia Minor, where he converted the wife of a Roman proconsul. In retaliation the proconsul had Philip arrested and cruelly put to death.

MATTHEW the tax collector and writer of a Gospel, ministered in Persia and Ethiopia. Some of the oldest reports say he was not martyred, while others say he was stabbed to death in Ethiopia.

BARTHOLOMEW had widespread missionary travels attributed to him by tradition: to India with Thomas, back to Armenia, and also to Ethiopia and Southern Arabia. There are various accounts of how he met his death as a martyr for the gospel.

JAMES the son of Alpheus, is one of at least three James referred to in the New Testament. There is some confusion as to which is which, but this James is reckoned to have ministered in Syria. The Jewish historian Josephus reported that he was stoned and then clubbed to death.

SIMON THE ZEALOT, so the story goes, ministered in Persia and was killed after refusing to sacrifice to the sun god.

MATTHIAS was the apostle chosen to replace Judas. Tradition sends him to Syria with Andrew and to death by burning.

JOHN is the only one of the company generally thought to have died a natural death from old age. He was the leader of the church in the Ephesus area and is said to have taken care of Mary the mother of Jesus in his home. During Domitian’s persecution in the middle 90’s, he was exiled to the island of Patmos. There he is credited with writing the last book of the New Testament–the Revelation. An early Latin tradition has him escaping unhurt after being cast into boiling oil at Rome.

The Prison of Worry

2 Comments / November 5, 2015 November 5, 2015

I would like to tell you that I am worry-free. But, alas, I am not. There are just so many things that can go wrong! If we are the kind of person that thinks too much, we can tend to be worriers. Am I the only one who thinks there is something desperately wrong if I am unable to get a hold of my child on their cell phone for ten minutes or if I have a strange pain somewhere?

Worry can be so debilitating.

It steals our peace.

It controls our thoughts.

It takes our joy.

And the wonderful reward for all this worry?

Nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

The time we spend worrying steals our present, yet makes no difference in the future. Worry keeps us locked up in a prison of our own making, far away from the joys and blessings of life.

When I was a young twenty-something, I was positively crippled by worry. I would lay on my sofa for wasted hours feeling sick because of worry. It was so awful. But God rescued me. He taught me to take my thoughts captive. I learned to move my mind from my worry to something else. Oh, the first few months it felt impossible. But it got easier and easier, until it became a habit. Of course, every now and then, a few question marks show up in my life to remind me that I haven’t mastered worry.

Theologically, I have learned that worry is really an affront to God. When we worry, we are telling Him that He doesn’t know what He is doing. That we can’t trust Him.

But this week as I was reading in Luke 12 for the Bible Challenge, I found some very practical and helpful principles for this raging battle with worry and anxiety that so many of us face–

We are loved and valued by the Father. Luke 12:7 tells us that not even a sparrow is forgotten before God and that we are of far more value to Him than many sparrows. We need not fear.
The Holy Spirit will guide us through trials. Luke 12:11 tells us that the disciples brought before magistrates and authorities for the sake of Christ will be given words to answer the accusations through the Holy Spirit. When I read this verse the other day, I felt comforted to know that if (or when) the church faces persecution, we will not be alone. And there are other verses throughout scripture to show us that the Holy Spirit is there to comfort and to counsel us: John 14:26; Romans 15:13; 2 Timothy 1:14.
Worry changes nothing. Luke 12:25-26 asks this: And which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature? ²⁶If you then are not able to do the least, why are you anxious for the rest?
When things are outside our control, many of us tend to stew and fret and make those around us miserable (if we are honest!) and yet, all that frustration and misery won’t change one thing. That is sobering to think about, isn’t it? Especially for us worriers. How many precious hours have we wasted on this time-sapping activity?
God promises to take care of us. A little further on in Luke we read this in verse 28: If then God so clothes the grass, which today is in the field and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will He clothe you, O you of little faith? Worry is probably a timeless sin that has affected almost all human beings at one time or another. And yet, Jesus tells us here that we can trust the Father. He will care for us.
Knowing God and making Him known needs to be our first priority. I don’t think it is an accident that verses 34-35⁽Sell what you have and give alms; provide yourselves money bags which do not grow old, a treasure in the heavens that does not fail, where no thief approaches nor moth destroys. ³⁴For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.) follow right after this whole passage on worry. After all, worry is often the result of having our priorities a little out of order. It is much easier to yield our will to the Father’s when we can keep our worldly possessions in perspective or when we truly want to please the Father in all things first and foremost– even before our own health or popularity, before any relationship, or before our reputation. When we really keep God first in our lives and seek His kingdom, it helps us to sift and sort through all of the trivial–and not so trivial– things we worry about.

Of course, all of these principles are well and good, but if you are in the midst of a battle with worry this may feel a little rote to you. And some of you are facing really big struggles right now, with no good conclusion forthcoming. Illnesses, loss of jobs and income, straying kids. There are very legitimate causes for concern in so many of our lives. If this is the case, I encourage you to pray, begging God to help you live out these principles in your life. If you are a true believer, the Holy Spirit is there to comfort and guide you.

Sometimes in the midst of a deep, dark trial that has me captured by worry, I find myself unable to even pray. If you find yourself in a similar place ask a friend or family member to pray for you until you get though the worst of this.

But, most of all, let’s keep our eyes on the Father, the author and finisher of our faith. He will never leave or forsake us. Let’s glorify Him by showing the world that we trust Him implicitly instead of staying locked up in our prison of worry.

Finding Peace

2 Comments / October 26, 2015 October 26, 2015

Peace is hard enough to find in the best of times. But when tragedy strikes, it can feel impossible. Just yesterday I read of the terrible thing that occurred at the Oklahoma State University homecoming parade and the group prayer that followed at the football game. There is something in us that seeks for the peace we know only comes from God when something awful happens. Even atheists and agnostics will send up vague prayers, begging for God’s grace and mercy in the midst of a calamity.

But there is only one way of actually experiencing the peace that God promises us in the Bible. Only one.

As some of you already know, my brother pastors a small church. A few weeks ago terrible tragedy hit their small congregation. Because it is such a close-knit group, the loss of any is felt acutely. But perhaps even more so when one is removed so suddenly and tragically.

It was just a normal morning. A man from their congregation was traveling with his oldest son to a special event. Little did his wife know that it would be the last time she would see him this side of heaven. There was a terrible car accident that ended the life of her husband. Her son, left with a serious brain injury, was not expected to live.

Many, many people prayed and asked God to spare this teenager. In what seemed a miraculous turn of events, her son went from being at death’s door to being released from the hospital only a week later. The doctors and nurses have shared their amazement and disbelief with the family. They had told his mother to prepare for his death when he first arrived at the hospital. It is truly an awesome blessing from God.

And yet, there is still the devastating loss of his father–a godly man who loved the Lord and led his family well. He was not only a wonderful husband and father, but a vibrant Christian testimony in his workplace and community. He was also a dear friend of my brother’s.

How in the world do we find peace in such the midst of such heart-wrenching circumstances?

During the course of the week, my brother, Pastor Dean, wrote some update emails to an ever-growing list of recipients regarding this dear family. One of the emails was so profound–so helpful– in answering this very question, I asked him if I could share it here. My brother loves the Word of God and this is not his family’s first taste of tragedy. His counsel, straight from the Word of God, may not be the popular answer of the day but it is truth–

I am truly astounded at the recovery of {the son} – it is almost miraculous (those of you who know me, know I don’t use that word lightly!). We abundantly thank the Lord for restoring him to us. But we also mourn the death of our brother in Christ, Mark. I know for me, the mornings have been the most difficult, just when I wake up. It is of great importance that we, like David, encourage ourselves in the Lord our God (1 Sam. 30:6). We deal with an event like this either in faith or unbelief. The difference is not in whether or not we weep, but whether or not we trust the Lord and His eternal and perfect promises. He is the Rock, immovable and unchanging, and those who find refuge in Him (that is in His written Word and in Christ), will never be moved. To see examples of how David encouraged himself in the Lord, see Psalm 18 and 27. We must call upon Him, submit to Him, trust Him, and obey Him on the basis of what He has said to us in His Word. As believers in Christ we do not weep as those who have no hope (1 Thess. 4:13-17).

But there are some who are reading this e-mail who do not have the peace of God because they do not have the God of peace. You cannot have the peace of God without being reconciled to Him through His Son the Lord Jesus Christ (Colossians 1:15-23). The reason we do not have peace is because we are sinners, rebels against God and His truth (Ps. 2:1-3). We disobey His commands and refuse to believe His Word. The result is death . . . and restlessness – “There is no peace, saith my God, to the wicked” Is. 57:21. The first problem is that people do not think of themselves as wicked, but the Bible informs us that we all are wicked from birth (Ps. 51:5; 58:3). Not only do we sin, but we are incapable of doing anything that is good in God’s sight (Romans 3:10-19; 8:8). There is only one way to be reconciled to God, according to His Word (John 14:6) . . . it is through His Son Jesus Christ, who, as the Son of God, was sent by God to fulfill the Law on our behalf and be our Substitute by dying in our place (read Isaiah 53 – a prophecy about the Messiah written 700 years before Christ died on the Cross). When we call upon the Lord through Jesus Christ, confessing our sins and repenting from our sins, we are forgiven and reconciled to God (“Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ” – Rom. 5:1). Apart from faith in Christ, there is no hope for the sinner: “When a wicked man dies, his expectation shall perish, and the hope of unjust men perishes” (Prov.11:7). There is no ritual, there is no form of meditation, there is no pill, there is no action that you can take that will give you eternal peace – a peace that only God gives to His children who are born again through faith in Christ.

For those who do not know Christ, my prayer is that this day, they would call upon the Lord in faith. For those who know Him, my prayer for you is that of Paul’s for the Ephesian believers in Ephesians 3:14-21:

For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, that he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man; that Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; and to know the love of Christ, which passes knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fullness of God. Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.

Lessons from A Phone Bill

2 Comments / October 22, 2015 October 22, 2015

About a month ago, I received an email that our business cell phone account had used all of its shared data. This was quite unusual, but since I literally hate to make phone calls to the customer service departments of large companies, I decided on a “wait and see what happens” approach.

And then a few days ago, in the middle of the following billing cycle, I received another one of those warnings. So at this point, I knew that I needed to make that dreaded call to get to the bottom of the “mysteriously disappearing data.”

I dialed the number and after pushing several numbers to get to a real, live person, I was pleasantly surprised to be connected to an English speaker that I was actually able to understand. She was quite friendly as I shared my problem and we started going over the bill together. She blamed the problem on an unauthorized change to our account that had happened almost a year ago and started trying to fix it. While I had my doubts that this was actually the cause of the “mysteriously disappearing data”, I also realized that this problem did need to be fixed so I let her do her thing. However, she didn’t really seem to know what she was doing exactly and I grew just a little more nervous as the minutes–very long minutes— ticked by.

After I had been on the call for over an hour, I finally told her that I had to go and asked if she would call me back or email me when she had sorted through it all. A half hour later I received a rather unsatisfactory email from her. A few moments after that, I received another notice that our data was almost 100% used up.

*Sigh*

Obviously, whatever she had done had not solved the problem.

I really did not want to make another phone call to this company. I think I’d rather go to the dentist than make phone calls like this. They are long and time-consuming and generally very frustrating. I put it off for a short time. But the next day I decided I may as well get it over with as the problem–unlike the data– was not going to disappear.

This time, I ended up getting connected to a very nice lady who was also quite knowledgeable. Within a few moments, she had solved my problem and then handed me off to her supervisor to get the authorization for a very sizable credit that was due us.

Those two calls were like night and day. Literally. One phone call lead to over an hour of wasted time spent listening to an incompetent representative try to solve a problem that was way over her head. The second call was with someone who knew exactly what she was doing and she solved the problem efficiently and quickly.

This incident brought to mind a few spiritual correlations-

1. We cannot grow or change without a little self-examination. If we just live at status quo our whole lives we will not only remain baby Christians but will also reap the costly consequences of this choice. When we don’t examine ourselves, we are like our company with that phone bill–thinking everything is fine, when, unknowingly, something is really wrong and we are actually paying dearly (2 Corinthians 13:5).

2. Sometimes deeper, abiding issues come to light when we start examining our lives. I had no idea when I called about this more recent problem with our cell phone account, that there was also a completely separate issue going on. Actually, as we investigated our account thoroughly together, we found two other problems along with the original issue. This is true of our own self-examination, as well. Sometimes we will recognize a sin in our lives and when we start reading and studying the Word, other hidden and connected sins will come to light. For example, perhaps we struggle with being overweight. We know we shouldn’t overeat and we go to scripture for insight. In the process, we may come face to face with our own prideful heart as we discover the reason we really want to lose weight. Examination can lead to some real eye-opening moments.

3. Waiting can be costly. While the phone company gave me that nice credit for the mistakes of the past year, life, unfortunately, gives no credits. Emotional and spiritual harm compounds as we live in ignorance and can never be completely rectified. Only the Holy Spirit in a saved heart can take something so broken and heal it, but still there will be scars. It is wiser to deal with our sin issues immediately, rather than letting them smolder in the background of our lives.

4. Make sure you are talking to someone who knows what they are doing. How frustrating my first encounter was with the lady who thought she knew everything but didn’t really know anything. There are so many people who give counsel to us as we navigate life’s problems and yet so many have absolutely no idea what they are doing. So how do we know if they are someone who can help? The first test for me is always this question: Are they taking me to the Holy Bible? The Bible is God’s Word and it speaks to all of our problems. If the person who is counseling us is only using their personal experiences or their own human wisdom, they are probably not going to be much long-term help to the situation.

But we also need to remember that there is no person who will always give us perfect counsel. We are all flawed and born sinners. While people can– and often do–help us on our way, we need to seek our counsel first and foremost from God and His Word.

5. When we get connected to the right person, it is amazing how quickly a problem can be solved. I experienced nothing but frustration until I got connected to the lady who knew what she was doing. Our spiritual life is a little like this. We will experience no true victory in the Christian life until we are connected to Jesus. Until we repent and place our faith and trust in Jesus Christ we will remain separated from God (John 14:6). Upon this saving faith, we know that our prayers will be heard (I John 5:12-15) and we can fully expect God to work as we surrender our lives and wills to Him.

And so I guess that phone bill incident wasn’t a complete waste of time. After all, I got a whole post out of it. But I will be very happy if I don’t have to make another call like that anytime soon!

The Wish List

4 Comments / October 12, 2015 October 11, 2015

I have 244 items on my Amazon Wish List. Seriously. The great majority of the items are books I would like to read someday.

Someday.

That elusive word that helps us feel so much better about our now. But as I have grown older, I am starting to understand something–

Someday doesn’t usually come around without some intentional work in the now.

I will never reach someday with my wish list of books unless I make a priority to actually read them. This is so true about much in life, isn’t it?

We will never grow our business without lots of hard work. Or lose weight without making changes in how we eat and/or exercise. We will never be stable financially if we don’t work at staying on a budget. Our desires and dreams will rarely come true without some kind of effort and sacrifice and someday is probably not going to come without some intentional behavior on our part right now.

Most of us have at least one thing on our wish list that is pretty important to us. We wish to be thin. Or we wish to be rich. Or perhaps it is a great career that we long for. Some of us really wish for kids who will grow up to serve the Lord. Or maybe we wish for a great marriage. What is on your wish list? And what are you doing to get there?

But something much more important to reflect on is our spiritual “wish list”. Are we intentionally working to learn to know God and His Word? Are we giving deliberate effort to our purity and holiness? With all of the other wishes consuming our thoughts we often neglect the most important area of our lives– our own growth as a believer in Jesus Christ.

Stop and ponder this for just a moment. Where would you like to be as a believer in five years? What about twenty years?

What are you doing to get there?

Unfortunately, we can’t magically inhale the Bible one day and just know the Word. Instead, we have to study and memorize it. If we do so with humility and a heart of obedience, we will be changed.

One of my favorite verses is Hebrews 4:12–

For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.

And 2 Timothy 3:16-17 —

All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.

If becoming a godly man or woman is on our wish list (and it should be for all genuine believers), it will never happen without serious dedication to the Word of God. God’s Word is so powerful. It teaches us truth and pure doctrine, giving us a solid grid through which to judge false teaching and every other thing that comes our way. By studying the Holy Bible, we become convicted of the sin in our lives and are trained in holy and righteous living.

But learning and studying the Word takes precious time. Time that we would often prefer to spend somewhere else.

I can almost hear some of you saying, “I don’t have a choice. You have no idea how busy I am.” And I get it. I remember those days when I felt like I was meeting the needs of my kids 24/7. I know that many of you are extremely busy with families or jobs. But may I submit to you–

You always have time for the things you put first.

Where does God and growing as a believer fit in your list of priorities?

I have no idea how many of the books I will ever check off of my Amazon wish list. Some of them are much more important to me than others and they are the ones that I will read. The rest will probably just sit there on the list until I clean it up one day and purposefully remove them.

Perhaps it is time that we reflect on our “wish list”. Is it filled with things that should be important to us from an eternal perspective? And, if so, what are we doing to get there? And what is on the wish list of our lives that is taking up space and could be removed? Is godliness even on our wish list as a priority? These are certainly some questions to consider.

Face Value

Leave a Comment / October 5, 2015 February 16, 2018

I remember the conversation like it was yesterday. It was so unexpected. I was with a fellow Christian that I had known for a long time. We were different ages and in different circles but ended up working together fairly frequently. I had always assumed that we had the same respect and admiration for each other and that our occasional disagreements and debates were viewed as a healthy part of a relationship.

But, on that particular day, I found out that I was quite wrong.

This person did not have the same feelings toward me as I had towards them. In fact, that conversation showed me that they viewed me as a particularly irritating part of their life. There was no confession and no closure. Just a statement that needed no further elaboration. I didn’t really know them well enough to follow up the conversation any further and so I walked away that day with a shocking and hurtful realization:

People can act like they like you when they really don’t.

For many years after that, I found myself just assuming that most people did not like me. I assumed that I was irritating and that most people did not enjoy my company. Even if someone was really nice to me and I thought I had found a friend, I would hear a voice in the back of my head saying: They don’t really like you. They are only pretending. Just like _________.

It would take a long time for me to trust someone and believe that they actually did enjoy my company. After all, a fellow Christian had pretended to be my friend and it had never been true.

Isn’t it amazing how one conversation can change your life?

By my very nature, I am quite outgoing and outspoken (I can almost hear the “amens” even as I write this from those of you who know me!) It is so hard for me to just sit in a room quietly without speaking. I suppose my parents knew they had a problem on their hands when, as a young child, I spoke my unfiltered thoughts about a lady walking towards us on the street.

I’ve had a lifetime of trying to curtail my mouth. To learn to think before I speak. To honor God with the right tone, looks, and body language.

And I do think I have made progress, in large part due to God’s amazing grace and the Holy Spirit working in my life. I am not the same person I was. But I do still mess up sometimes. I still–quite unintentionally–make enemies. And I still worry about that. Especially when people are so good at covering their true feelings.

But, recently, I believe that God has been teaching me to take people at “Face Value”. I cannot know anything about a person that they do not choose to share with me. I cannot be responsible for their grudges and unforgiving hearts if they do not choose to come to me with their issues. If someone treats me like they like me, then I should assume that they do. If they are pretending, that is not my concern. That is between them and God. I can’t spend my time worrying about it and I can’t make assumptions that may not be true.

And since that first conversation, I have learned a few things. First, sometimes people are just really shy. It doesn’t mean they don’t like me. It just means they don’t know me. And, second, I’ve learned that moods often determine how people interact with me. Some people just aren’t friendly if they have had a rough day. It doesn’t mean that they have some deep, abiding hatred of me.

Instead of focusing on the reactions and thoughts of others (which are completely outside my control), my concern is to treat people with love and kindness. If there is a truth that needs communicated, then it is to be covered with prayer and spoken with much thought and tremendous grace. If I do these things, then I must let the rest up to God.

It’s been a long journey that I am still on, but I keep learning that I need to get the focus off of me and my feelings and keep it where it belongs– on God and His Word.

If someone doesn’t like me because of my stand for God, then I am okay with that. If they don’t like me because I’ve sinned against them, then, unless they tell me, there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. If they do confront me, it is my job to be humble and willing to receive the criticism with an open mind.

Relationships can be so tough. We can make assumptions and we have expectations. When we are disappointed or devastated in a relationship, it can really make a difference in how we treat others for the rest of our lives. But God’s Word shows us how to have healthy relationships. And the first step is almost always putting aside our own desires and thinking of what’s best for the other person. (Philippians 2:2-3). It’s painful. It’s so hard. But it works.