Relationships

A Better Question for the New Year

2 Comments / December 31, 2025

Today I am writing about something I’ve never written about before. And, until just recently, I have never given it a lot of thought. But several things over the course of the past few weeks have brought this to light and really made me start thinking about it. On this New Year’s Eve, as we prepare for a new year and a fresh start, I’d like to turn our focus to this specific thing.

Have you, like me, noticed how many broken relationships there are? How many people are outright rejected? Parents rejected by children who have written them off and never talk to them. Friends rejected by friends who simply disappear. Siblings rejected by siblings because of past hurts, current disagreements, or different life philosophies.

Rejection is a common, recurring theme in today’s world.

This is a relatively new thing. How and when did it start? And why have those calling themselves “Christians” jumped on board and joined the movement?

I have to confess that I have, a time or two in years past, said “life is too short” for a friend that has sapped my energy. And sometimes family members can try our patience, can’t they? People can be demanding and unpleasant and downright annoying.

Psychology has labeled these people “toxic” and told us to run from them in order to keep our personal peace.

But I have been thinking a lot about this over the past few days. Is this biblical counsel? Would Jesus tell us to avoid people we have decided are “toxic”?

Let’s take a moment to be reminded of our life’s calling as a believer—

Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God. (I Corinthians 10:31)

This verse tells us something very important about our new life in Christ: Instead of being “me-centered”, I now desire to be “God-centered”.

And so this naturally should cause our questions to change. Instead of “Is this person messing with my personal peace?” or “Is this person toxic?”, our question should become “What would bring God glory in this situation?”

Instead of basing my decision on how I feel, we want to base our decision on what will most honor God.

I know some of you may be thinking right now—but you don’t know my situation. You don’t know how this or that person brings strife and drama to my life.

That is 100% true. And I’d rather guess that there are situations where the strife caused may merit separation.

But even in those situations, it has to be about honoring God instead of giving ourselves peace.

What will most honor the Lord? Is the question we need to be asking as we navigate difficult relationships.

There are certain beliefs that have crept into Christian culture through humanistic psychology and this is one of them. I have no doubt some of you have even heard you need to flee a toxic relationship from your “Christian counselor”.

Fleeing “toxic people” is nowhere to be found in scripture. Instead, we see the opposite. We see that we are to love others like we love ourselves (note we already love ourselves, we don’t have to learn that!) (Mark 12:31); we see that we are to have speech filled with grace (Colossians 4:6); we are to treat others as we want to be treated (Matthew 7:12); we are to live peaceably with others, as much as it is up to us (Romans 12:18); we are to honor our parents (Ephesians 6:2) There are other verses that direct our relationships with others.

I can’t find even one about rejecting toxic people.

Now, keep in mind: There ARE quite a few verses about being very careful who we hang out with because of the danger they are to our spiritual health. That is a completely different subject and we would do well to heed scripture’s counsel on this.

If someone is dragging us towards sin or the world, we are to quickly flee from them. If someone is sinking us down into the mire of false teaching, we are to mark and avoid them.

But, that is not generally the reason that people reject others, is it? No, it’s for far more selfish reasons.

I don’t know today if you have chosen to reject someone and remove them from your life. I hope that if you have done this, that you will make the subject a matter of prayer and ask the Lord what He would have you do.

And I don’t know if you have been rejected—utterly and outright—by a precious child, or by a dear friend, or by someone you trusted. Rejection is a deep, searing type of pain, isn’t it? And it’s being experienced by so many these days. If we are that person, may we continue steadfast in prayer and keep our hearts from bitterness.

Life IS short. And that is why we must live for eternity.

So as we head into the new year, may we change our question from “what will bring me personal peace?” to:

What will most honor God?

The Truth Will Mess with Your Peace (and that’s a good thing!)

2 Comments / July 29, 2025

Once upon a time, a man (we will call him John) went to the doctor due to a severe headache that wouldn’t go away. As the doctor examined him, he told him it could be due to a number of different reasons—some even fatal.

“What would you like to be the cause of your headache?” Asked the doctor.

Not expecting that response, John said wryly, “well, it doesn’t really matter what I want it to be, now, does it?”

“Well,” responded the doctor, “we are trying a new method—one where we let the patient decide what is wrong. This way we don’t mess with their peace or make them upset. We just assume that what they say is true and treat from their diagnosis.”

Silly story. And, yes, it’s just a story. (I wrote a longer post about this called Lindy’s Headaches, you can read that here.) But have you noticed that, while this would never happen in the medical world, it happens all the time in the spiritual world? As if we can all just decide what is sin and what isn’t. As if we can all just decide for ourselves what is truth and how we get to heaven.

And if we don’t like what someone says or they don’t agree with us, we can just unfriend them, delete them from our lives, and move on.

A friend told me he saw a meme on Facebook awhile back. It said this:

“If it messes with your peace, it’s not worth it.”

Have you noticed that this is the philosophy of so many today?

But here’s the thing: The truth will mess with your peace. It just does.

I can look back over my life and recall many times where someone told me the truth about something and it made me very uncomfortable and, sometimes, even angry. But, looking back now, I am so very grateful for those people who were willing to speak the truth to me.

After all, how do we grow if we only surround ourselves with people who are just like us and will never say anything that offends us? How will we grow if we are determined to do things our way, without wise counsel of godly, older people? How will we grow if we refuse to listen to anyone we don’t agree with? How will we grow if we ignore everything in God’s Word that we don’t like??

Well, we won’t. Approaching life this way will lead to looking inward towards self for strength and wisdom. Rather than looking towards God, His Word, and godly men and women that have walked the narrow path ahead of us, so many are looking to self (and to those who agree with self).

And, listen, that is the world’s way. Frank Sinatra released the song “I Did it My Way,” in 1969. The world has been on a the runaway train of self-esteem, self-improvement, self-promotion, self-strength, self-wisdom, and self-glory ever since.

It’s taken the Christian world awhile to follow after the world, but here we are. Most everyone today believes this:

If it doesn’t encourage me or make me feel good, it’s not worth it.

This is probably the main reason families and the visible church are in such a shambles. If someone makes me uncomfortable, it’s not worth it. If the relationship takes work, it’s not worth it. Truth and biblical doctrine can make us uncomfortable. Serving others sacrificially does not always make us feel good.

How much easier is it to run away from the hard? How much more fun and entertaining is it to go to a concert-like worship experience and then listen to a few shallow minutes of encouragement?

Of course, we can’t change this. We can’t change where the secular or the Christian culture finds itself these days.

But we can evaluate our own lives and we can, by God’s grace, intentionally determine not to be SELF-obsessed.

I am currently reading a biography of a missionary. As she has been describing her life, I have grown more and more disturbed. Would I have been willing to do what she did? I don’t think so. If I am honest, I have to say I don’t think so.

And it makes me realize that I, too, have fallen for the cult of self. I, too, put self on a higher pedestal than God all too often.

I think we all struggle with this at some level. As my daughter-in-law said recently: Do we ever do anything with a pure motive?

It is disconcerting to think about, isn’t it? But God knows this and I am so thankful for His grace and His mercy. Jesus came to die for us to pay the price for every sin, every insincere act of service, every time we didn’t do what was right and didn’t even realize it.

Praise the name of Jesus!

But it is my prayer that this short post, in the midst of a tsunami of internet information that will tell you the opposite, will encourage us to love God more than self. That it will bring awareness that this love for self is something we must fight and never embrace. That love for self is the antithesis of true, biblical Christianity. That this love for self is really part of our sin nature and it is called our “flesh” in scripture.

Look, we aren’t going to always agree with others. Even if we both love the Lord with all of our hearts, we will not agree on everything. I don’t expect you to always agree with me and I won’t always agree with you. But what a joy it is to have relationships where we can have open, honest conversations without malice and rancor and bitterness. What joy it is to talk about God’s Word and to grow together with those who also hold the Bible as their anchor and final authority.

Recently, I had the privilege of watching two of my best friends play this out right in front of my eyes. I watched one speak the truth in love and I watched the other one hear the truth with love. It was a beautiful thing. It is how it is supposed to be for us believers. Iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17) and it is a wonderful encouragement when we can have this kind of relationship with someone.

Hearing the truth is a good thing! Being called away from self and towards God through our reading of God’s Word and the counsel of godly family and friends is a great thing!

May we, as believers, be willing to turn from self, experience discomfort, have our “peace messed with”, and hear the truth with love—so that we will grow in our faith and become more Christ-like as the years pass by.

Older and Wiser

3 Comments / June 24, 2025

Life is designed in such a way that the older we get, the wiser we become. Our experiences teach us more than any teacher ever could. And so, hopefully, as believers, we are learning not to be so hasty; when to speak and when to keep quiet; we are growing less angry and more forgiving. And the list could go on and on.

This not only should inform our daily living in a good way by changing our choices and decisions and even our thought processes but it also gives us insight for those that come behind us.

As I was reading in II Chronicles 10 last week, I came across this interesting passage. It’s regarding Rehoboam, who asked two groups of men—old men and young men— how he should respond to a question the people have asked him—

𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘙𝘦𝘩𝘰𝘣𝘰𝘢𝘮 𝘵𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘭 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘮𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘚𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘮𝘰𝘯 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘩𝘦 𝘺𝘦𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘥, 𝘴𝘢𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘭 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦? 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘴𝘱𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘪𝘮, 𝘴𝘢𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘐𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶 𝘣𝘦 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘬 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘺 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳. 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘭 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘮𝘦𝘯 𝘨𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘮, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘭 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘶𝘱 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘩𝘪𝘮, 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘮. (II Chronicles 10:6-8)

Instead of heeding the wiser, older men, he decided to go with what the young men had said (which was to be harsh with the people).

In this case, the older men had a much wiser answer for Rehoboam and had he followed it, his kingdom would have had a very different ending. Following the wrong advice can change everything, just as it did for Rehoboam.

Of course, older men do not always give the best advice—especially in a culture where so many older men and women spend the last twenty years of their lives playing and selfishly pursuing their own desires.

But there is still a principle to be found in this story from the Bible. We spend almost the entirety of our lives younger than some and older than some, so what are principles we need to consider from this story as a younger person and as an older person?

We live in a culture that is a bit upside down. In the past, the wisdom of old age was valued and elderly men and women were respected. In the world we find ourselves in, it is youth that people listen to and it is the young people that are respected.

It wasn’t until the mid-1900s that youth culture took on a life all its own and became a force to be reckoned with. There were no “youth groups” in the 1800s. No Botox or plastic surgery so we could look “younger”.

While growing older always has had its challenges, there was no shame in it back in the day. It was just a part of life. No one was trying to be younger. They just were taking life as it came.

But we live in this culture where youth is admired and old age is despised. How do we live in this culture but not be “of it”? Since we are all both “younger” and “older” for most of our lives we need to ask—according to scripture—what are things we need to consider as a younger person and what do we need to think about as an older person?

First, it’s important that we consider what those older than us have to say. Particularly, those who are walking with God.

There are lots of foolish old men and women in this materialistic, self-centered culture. But there are also many wise men and women who love the Lord and have so much to offer those of us who are younger than they are. May we be humble enough to listen to what they have to say and take time to reflect on it.

Some of my dearest friends have been women considerably older than me. One was thirty years older and one was twenty-two years older than me. Both were incredible blessings in that they had so much wisdom to offer me, because they loved the Lord and had lived longer than me. If we still have our parents and they love the Lord, we will find that they are also a wonderful resource for godly counsel.

Older people just think about things we never even considered. They understand dynamics we can have no clue about. They have been through what we are going through and can look back and see what they did right and what they did wrong. Hind sight is 20/20 and they have the blessing of having the hind sight we can’t possibly have.

And so may we be humble and teachable and willing to learn from those who are a bit ahead of us on this path called life.

Second, may we be worthy counselors.

We are all older than someone. May we be studying the Word and growing more like Christ through our life experiences, so that we may be a counselor of value as we get older.

As I mentioned above, many older men and women live selfishly. But as believers, we not only must turn away from that, we must realize the absolute privilege it is to build into the lives that are around us. Many of us have children (and their spouses), grandchildren, and even great-grandchildren whom we can support and encourage. We have nieces and nephews, Sunday School children, young parents, co-workers, and our church families. There is always someone younger than us that can use some support and encouragement to honor and obey the Lord.

But before we offer any counsel…

It is critical that we are an excellent listener. Spewing unwanted and condescending advice will be never be a blessing to anyone.

Compassionate listening with a well-spoken word of advice as God gives opportunity is what we are after.

We can’t change the world, but we can change our own hearts and attitudes, can’t we? May we be willing to listen and consider the counsel of those who are ahead of us and may we be willing encourage and build up in the Word those who are behind us.

And, in doing these things, we will be obeying scripture and be living out the pattern that God established for His people.

Judgements, the Bible, and Incomplete Information

1 Comment / June 10, 2025

We all make judgments. We make judgments about what is beautiful and what isn’t. And about what is “normal” and what “isn’t normal”. We make judgments about whether someone is doing something right or something wrong; And about whether someone is doing something wise or something foolish. We all do it. And we all do this quite naturally, whether we speak our judgments aloud or not.

But there are two things that we believers really should consider before we pass judgment. Before I go on I’d like to mention that this is something God has been teaching me, oh so gradually, over the course of my lifetime and I am definitely not the same person I used to be. But I am still growing in this area. It’s so easy to write about something the Bible teaches, but learning to live it out takes a lifetime.

The FIRST thing for our consideration is this: Is my judgment based on God’s Holy Word or is it based on my opinion?

If it’s based on my opinion then does it really matter? What makes one opinion better than another?

Here’s a silly example (albeit a practical one). Let’s consider a woman’s shirt. Let’s say I notice a co-worker’s new shirt and I just don’t like it. It’s bright and loud in a color I do not care for and I find it very unappealing. Why is my opinion about that shirt better than the wearer’s opinion? And does it really matter?

Now, let’s take that same shirt and let’s say that it is cut very low and is very immodest. The Bible tells us to dress modestly (I Timothy 2:9-10). So now I am making a judgment between right and wrong which, in fact, we are supposed to do (Matthew 7, I Thess. 5:21-22, and others).

Judgments that are based on our opinions don’t always need to be said. But sometimes they do need to be shared. For example, in committee meetings or family gatherings, when a plan is being developed or a vacation planned. At that point, we speak up with the understanding that there is really no “right” or “wrong” in the situation but that our opinion is simply based on preference.

But what we do with our biblical judgments? Are we to speak each one? This is probably worth a post all its own but, for the sake of time and space here today, let’s just nutshell it in this way: True love discerns, through prayer, when speaking truth is appropriate and is willing to confront when necessary. A lot of harm has been done by parents, pastors, teachers, and others who were simply unwilling to speak biblical truth into the lives of others because they were worried about offending.

This leads to the SECOND thing which we must consider: Are we are aware that we may have incomplete information as to why someone made a choice?

This is not regarding the actual making of judgments but, rather, about our attitudes that accompany our judgments.

When we make biblical judgments, we make them based on our own life experiences. This leads many of us to give no grace, no mercy, no lee-way for other life experiences.

So, for example, someone growing up in a Christian home will naturally know the Bible better than a baby Christian who just got saved as an adult and is learning. Do we have grace for the baby Christian who is just learning?

Or another example is that perhaps someone made a decision for a very good reason but you, looking from the outside, are not privy to the reason for that decision and are judging them for doing something unwise based on your incomplete information. We don’t always know the facts and perhaps they didn’t do anything unwise at all.

Do we give people the benefit of the doubt? Or do we fall prey to having a “holier than thou” attitude?

We only have our life experience from which to form judgements. But it’s so important to recognize that our life experiences are not the gold standard. Only the Bible can and should inform all of our judgments.

And this should lead us to grace and mercy as we remember our life is not their life. And they may have challenges about which we have no idea at all. This doesn’t mean we don’t talk with them when we see sin or worldliness. It just means we have a humble, loving attitude that acknowledges we may not know everything.

So… what if a judgment is based on scripture and you find yourself concerned about someone you love? What to do?

Our natural response is to gossip or to make sarcastic, passive-aggressive remarks letting others know how we feel. The godly response is to keep quiet and go to that person personally and find out the whole story; find out why they made the choice they did and lovingly and kindly point to the scripture that shows that it is wrong.

Can you see why correct interpretation and honest hermeneutics of God’s Word are so critical to life? There are so many manmade “rules” and “laws”—rules and laws that man has created that are simply not in scripture. And there are also so many principles and commands that go completely ignored and neglected by professing Christians who love the world.

And can you see why it’s so important to be able to recognize an opinion-based judgment from a scripture-based judgement?

I have been judged for many things throughout my life. One that sticks out in my memory is being judged for drinking orange juice with my pop-tart instead of milk. Someone made me feel like a fool because of this decision.

As I reflect on that experience, which is over twenty years ago now, I find it such an unnecessary judgement. It’s a silly example but there are so many just like it that happen every day.

Judgments like this build walls instead of building unity. They create division instead of creating a loving, safe place to grow together.

Oh, that we may recognize the difference between our subjective, opinion-based judgments and objective, scripture-based judgments. May we handle any judgment in a loving, biblical manner that will support and encourage God’s family, rather than tear it down.

Shining As Lights (Life Lessons from Philippians)

1 Comment / April 9, 2024

I was outside and, as my eyes moved towards the trees that are to the south, I noticed some bright white. Ahh, I had forgotten just how beautiful the blooming wild pear trees look among all of the leafless branches. The other trees would soon be full of the bright green leaves of summertime, but during this short window of time the pear trees would shine brightly in the midst of the trees still wearing their winter garb.

I was reminded of this beautiful view when I read these verses in Philippians this morning–

That ye may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world; Holding forth the word of life; that I may rejoice in the day of Christ, that I have not run in vain, neither laboured in vain. (Philippians 2:15-16)

As believers, we are to be like those trees, standing strong and pure and white in the midst of a dark, wintry world. We represent life and light to those who are perishing. How exactly do we do this?

This can only be done by standing out as different from the dark world around us. If we look like all of the other wintry trees, we will blend in with the rest of the world and never shine as a light. Paul actually gives us several ways we can accomplish this “looking different” earlier in the chapter.

First, we find that we will look different by desiring true biblical unity with fellow believers–

 Fulfil ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. (Philippians 2:2)

Biblical unity with fellow believers is only possible when we are unwilling to argue or debatae over things that have no biblical consequence, by forgiving easily and never holding grudges, and by being filled with grace and mercy for our fellow believers.

Paul then goes on to write, in verses 3-4–

 Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.

We shine as lights through our humility. We esteem others better than ourselves. Have you noticed how these verses are in direct contrast to the messages we hear from the world? But we know that pride and self-focus quickly eclipses the light we should be shining as a redeemed child of God. Pride also causes incalculable damage to relationships.

Paul continues– Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus…

He goes on to give this marvelous description of Christ, which deserves a post, in and of itself. If you haven’t read Philippians 2:5-11 for awhile, I hope you will consider reading it right now. It is an amazing passage that tells us about our Savior. And Paul says that we are to strive to have the same humble and obedient mind as Christ.

Paul then tells us we are to work out our salvation with fear and trembling. This does not mean we can lose our salvation nor does it mean that our salvation is dependent upon us.

Imagine if you will, a mine of precious gems. The gems are there but it takes work to find them. Our Christian walk is similar to this. When God redeems us as His child, we are given the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 1:13-14), along with all we need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3). But we don’t just know everything immediately. Our sanctification and growth takes work. This is the work Paul refers to here. And why do we fear and tremble? Lehman Strauss (Devotional Studies in Philippians, p. 122) puts it better than I ever could–

     Now here in Philippians he is telling them to work out their own salvation with fear and trembling, not fear and trembling lest they lose their salvation, for not truly saved person will be lost, but because of the weakness of the flesh, the ways of the world, and the wiles of the devil.
     We need to fear the flesh since it is weak and will fail us every time. We need to fear the world because it is ready to let loose its criticism at our failures. We need to fear Satan because he is ever seeking to break down our resistance that we might fall into temptation. We can do with some of this reverential fear and holy trembling before God to serve as a bulwark against trusting in ourselves…

A person who will shine as a light in this dark world is intentionally learning and growing in the things of the Lord.

And, finally, Paul gives us a simple command regarding something that so many of us struggle with–

 Do all things without murmurings and disputings (Philippians 2:14)

A person who will shine as a light in a crooked and perverse world will not be known for their constant complaints or their tendency to quarrel over everything.

So, in quick summary, if we want to shine as lights for God we will–

  1. Strive to live in biblical unity with our Christian siblings
  2. We will esteem others more than ourselves
  3. We will be known for our humble and obedient mind
  4. We will be always learning and growing more like Christ
  5. We will not be known for complaining or for arguing

In this world, where easy is better and people can get instant food, instant fame, and much reward without little effort, thinking about this may feel a bit overwhelming. But, since the fall, man has had to work to eat, work to live, and, yes, work to mine those gems that are his in the Lord, if he is a redeemed child of God’s.

The gems are there, but they must simply be mined and polished. And as we do this, we sparkle brighter and brighter in a world that is so full of darkness.

And as we consider this idea that we are to shine as lights in this crooked and perverse world, we must remember that there are those who hate that light. We must not be dismayed or discouraged if people are angry with us for Christ’s sake. John puts it like this–

And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved. (John 3:19-20)

And so as we endeavor to shine our lights for Christ, may our guideline and litmus test for doing so be the Bible and not the responses of others to our efforts.

So let’s shine our lights for Christ! Don’t give up and don’t give in! And, in doing so, we will point people to Jesus Christ, the only answer in this dark and dying world. He alone can give LIFE. He alone can save from sin. Oh, that we may be shining examples of His grace and His mercy that completely and utterly transforms the sinner who has been a slave to self into an eternally saved child of God that desires to serve Him.

It Starts With Us

2 Comments / April 7, 2021

It seems like we live in a world where everyone is offended by something. They are offended by things you did in the past. Things you are doing now. And even who you innately are. They are offended by your words, by your actions, and by your choices.

And, just like a snowball that grows in force and speed as it rolls down a hill, so, too, this world where everyone is offended is growing quickly in epic proportions. (The snowball actually started a long time ago. We are simply watching it hurl towards the bottom of the hill now.)

But, as the church, are we really any different? It seems like we find the same dynamic there. People are offended because they weren’t asked to be on a committee or invited to a get-together. They are offended because the pastor doesn’t talk to them or didn’t say what they thought he should say. They are offended because something they donated years ago has been replaced. They are offended because the lady in the hat sings too loud.

It’s in families, where offended parties avoid each other. Where criticism reigns freely but grace is in short supply. Where differences of opinions about politics and religion and money cause chasms that can’t seem to be crossed.

It seems like anywhere we turn, people are just offended these days.

So how can we change this? Obviously there is little we can do. But there is a little we can do.

We can start with ourselves.

We can intentionally choose to not be offended. To let things roll. To give people grace. To stop being worried about ourselves and how we feel.

That’s the bottom line, isn’t it? Offended people are often consumed by themselves and how they feel.

Speaking from my own experience, when I feel offended, this is why. My pride or my feelings have been hurt and I am purely focused on myself.

But Christianity calls for the exact opposite of this.

God calls us to cast self aside and to esteem others better than ourselves.

Philippians 2:2-4 Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. 4 Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.

God asks us to treat others like we would want to be treated.

Luke 6:31 And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise.

God tells us to love our enemies and to pray for those who persecute and use us.

Matthew 5:44-47 But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, 45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. 46 For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47 And if you greet your[p]brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the[q]tax collectors do so?

God loved us so much that He sent His son to die for our sins. We are to respond to this gift with love–both for God and for others.

Mark 12:30-31 And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ [l]This is the first commandment. 31 And the second, like it, is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”

We get a good description of this love in I Corinthians 13, where we read that it is long-suffering, doesn’t seek its own, and is not provoked (ESV version uses the word “resentful”).

I Corinthians 13:4-7 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not [b]puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, [c]thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

In fact, loving our Christian brothers is so important that we are told that we are a liar if we say we love God but hate a brother. Think about the ramifications of that for a moment.

I John 14:20-21 If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, [d]how can he love God whom he has not seen? 21 And this commandment we have from Him: that he who loves God must love his brother also.

We also find in Matthew that if we don’t forgive those who trespass against us, God won’t forgive us our sins. That is a very indicting statement! This is how critical it is that we forgive others instead of our natural “old man” tendency to hold a grudge. This is an extremely big deal.

Matthew 6:14-15 For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

As we learn to respond to offenses in a manner worthy of being called a Christian, the wonderful effects of this will ripple out to our children and extended family. It will ripple out to our co-workers and church family. As we choose very intentionally not to be offended about every little thing or even about big things, we set an example that hopefully inspires others to do the same. As we choose to forgive instead of holding grudges, we help to create the warm and loving atmosphere that should be in every Christian home and biblical church.

We get to help instead of hinder.

We help to build our families and churches rather than tear them down.

This isn’t easy. And many are the times that I (personally) have to catch myself. I have to ask myself: Why am I so offended by this or that? When I take a moment to examine, it is always because of selfishness and pride. Oh, how ugly these things are. How much division and dissension they cause in Christian homes and churches.

As we face a world that is so offended all the time, may we true Christians stand out like beacons of light in the darkness as we choose to forgive and extend grace. And may this difference draw people to us and give us abundant opportunities to plant seeds for God’s Kingdom.

 

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Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. 18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. 19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it[i] to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” 20 To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Romans 12:17-21

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Who Me? I’d Never Hold a Grudge…

4 Comments / October 6, 2020

Recently, I saw someone say something rather unkind to someone. The person being spoken to had every opportunity to get offended or defensive, but they just laughed and let it roll right off their back. The humility in that response was also played out in the next hours and days, never affecting the relationship.

Lord, I want to be like that.

How often do we allow harsh words, trivial disagreements, or gossip to destroy our relationships? How often do we let really big disagreements destroy them?

If we are a Christian, this just should not be.

We all know the scriptures, don’t we? We are to forgive others (Matthew 6:12-15; Luke 17:3; Colossians 3:13, etc) What we sometimes forget is that this isn’t just the big, ghastly things that are obvious.

This is about the sarcastic remark spoken to you by a family member.

This is about the harsh words lashed out after you made a mistake.

This is about the time that friend embarrassed you in front of everyone.

I believe grudge-holding is one of the worst and most accepted sins in the church today. For some reason, Christians seem to brush this sin aside.

Oh, many pretend they are okay but they start distancing themselves. Suddenly, they aren’t calling or texting that friend anymore. They are avoiding a family member. The relationship has changed, no matter what they say about forgiving that person with their mouth.

I think the current events have me thinking about this a bit more. There’s so much division. The opinions held by people are at extreme odds. Disagreements and ugly arguments are a regular part of social media these days. They may even be part of your own family or circle of friends.

And then there is the uncertainty. I mean we always knew way down deep inside that life can change in a second. If you’ve lost someone you love, you know this. But somehow, with everything up in the air and the future a deep, unsettled fog around us, it reminds us of what’s really important.

And our relationships rank pretty high up on the list of what’s important.

So what destroys them? Why do we let a thoughtless word or sarcastic comment get to us? Why do we struggle so to forgive?

I believe it can be summed up in one word: PRIDE.

Pride is deadly. The longer I live, the more deadly I realize it is. It makes us prickly and quick to defend ourselves. It is the root of all grudge-holding and of an unforgiving spirit.

The other evening, my family brought up something rather embarrassing about me in front of someone I didn’t know very well.

My normal reaction would be to defend myself and get a bit blustery about it. But at that moment, God gave me the strength to respond in the right way. I laughed with them and admitted my fault in what they were discussing.

A bit later, my husband commented on how well I had handled that moment.

You see, I don’t usually respond so well. It felt unnatural to do so. But, afterwards, I knew in my heart I had done the right thing.

Not only had I cast my pride aside, but I had set a good example for my family.

I don’t hold myself up as any icon of humility. This is abnormal for me. I am not saying “look at me”. I’m saying this is what happened one time and it was good. Why don’t I do it more often?? Why can’t I get over myself?

Look, we all have our good moments and bad moments, right? Our hope is that our good moments grow and our bad moments diminish. But sometimes we just need to examine our lives. Where are we at? How are we changing for the better? Are we looking more like Christ?

And one area that we often skip in our examinations is this area of relationships. Am I easily offended? Do I hold grudges? Do I get defensive? Can I laugh at myself?

So how do we build stronger relationships?

If being easily offended and pride and holding grudges and not forgiving destroys them then we can assume that the opposite builds them.

1. Let things roll. When someone says something hurtful, we must choose to just let it roll. Right off our backs and far away. We should ask the Lord to help us forget it and move on.

2. Be humble. A big part of humility is thinking of others. It is taking the focus off of ourselves (and our wounded pride) and thinking of others. We should offer lots of grace and cast that ugly pride aside. This is often much easier said than done!

3. Listen carefully to words spoken and then respond with love. Instead of letting ourselves get so defensive and offended, why not actually listen to see if there is a nugget of truth in the words being spoken? Perhaps God is using that person to show us an area in which we need to grow? We should listen instead of lash out. Listen and then respond with love.

4. Learn to laugh at ourselves. Life is just too short to get all uptight and offended about the small stuff. If someone tells an embarrassing story, we may as well just laugh along with them. After all, it was funny! I have so many of these. So does my mom. I’ve learned from her well. She just laughs along and sets the greatest example of not taking herself too seriously. I thank her for teaching me that.

5. Agree to disagree. We aren’t going to agree with everyone. We don’t have to prove we are right. Our job is to point people to the Word and let the Holy Spirit do the convicting and convincing. When we remember this, it makes it so much easier to step back after we’ve made our argument and just walk away.

6. Pray for a humble and forgiving spirit. Ask the Lord to fill you with humility. Ask Him to help you forgive not only big things but the little things, too, that may eat at you. He is so faithful and He will help you!

If you are like me, you are still working on these. And may we be very intentional in our efforts. May this be something at the forefront of our minds so that we don’t allow grudges or a defensive spirit to worm their way into our lives.

Because I think we can all agree: Life is just too short and relationships are far too precious for this.

 

The Domino Effect

2 Comments / November 19, 2019

Once upon a time there was a young man. He married his high school sweetheart and together they had a few kids. But one day, after several years of marriage, this man chose not to turn his eyes and his heart away when he looked at a woman who was not his wife. Eventually this choice led to a broken-hearted wife and devastated children who would struggle to heal from his rejection for years to come.

He made a choice for his “personal happiness” and, yet, his happiness wasn’t the only thing affected.

Stories like this have happened over and over again throughout history. Replace the pronouns. Sometimes it is wives who do this same thing. For personal happiness and gain, a choice is made that negatively affects the rest of someone’s life. Forever.

You may have been on the receiving end of something like this. And it’s not always an affair. But it is always sin.

Galatians 5:19-21 is a great list to reference for these “domino effect” sins–

Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: [d]adultery, [e]fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, 21 envy, [f]murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Each one of these sins–when chosen–does not affect the sinner alone. It affects all those who surround the sinner.

As sin grows, it spills over on to those we love and on to all those that are in our circle.

We can change their day by an angry outburst or we can change their life by choosing adultery.

Thankfully we know through many examples (David, Peter, etc) in the Bible that we can choose repentance and we can be restored after we make sinful choices. But, after all is said and done, the consequences remain.

Better to not have made the sinful choice at all.

I don’t think we often give much thought to how our daily choices are affecting those around us.

The first example I gave was an extreme example, right? Kids from broken homes –especially homes with a parent who disappears or, maybe worse yet, uses them as a pawn in a battle–have some extra challenges to work through in life.

But let’s think further how our even our most mundane choices affect our kids, grandkids, and anyone who is watching us.

What are some of the things that have a domino effect on our families and circle of friends?

What about how we handle affliction and trials? Anger and discontentment often snake their way down family trees. Are we setting a godly example in how we respond when things don’t go our way?

What about choosing to live in an unhealthy way or being unwise in how we spend money? We set our kids up for failure because they are always watching. And, often, they will choose to live how we chose to live. Think about your life right at this moment. Would you want the children in your life to have your life? I am not talking about the things we can’t control–like diseases or unexpected financial setbacks. I am referring to being wise and godly in the choices we can control.

What about how we fill our minds (tv, movies, books, music)? Are these leading those who are watching us towards God and His Word or are they leading them away from Him?

What about choosing to extol a false teacher? Giving credence to a false or heretical teacher puts our friends and family in grave spiritual danger. Deception often starts by a casual comment, such as “have you read the book…?”

You see, these choices aren’t ever just about us. And these choices have the potential to lead someone toward the broad way or the narrow way. Very few things are neutral. By our example, we lead those who are watching us towards a godly life or towards a carnal life. We encourage them to walk in the Spirit or to walk in the flesh.

So you think no one is watching you at home when you privately watch that terrible tv show?

Well, that might be true. Maybe only God knows that.

BUT…

You think that show isn’t affecting you?

All that goes into our brains–whether we will admit it or not–affects us. And this, in turn, affects others.

Our philosophies; our sensitivity to worldliness; our choice to follow human wisdom or God’s wisdom; our love for God–these are all affected by what we fill our minds with. And this mind-filling will, quite naturally, spill out on to others in our conversations and our discussions.

No sin is private.

Unless you are living on an island far far away with no one else on it, there is a domino effect.

We may feel this more acutely as a parent. (Oh, the weight of being a godly example when you are a parent!) But this doesn’t disappear as we move into our grandparent years. And it still exists, even if we never have kids or are a single adult living alone.

People watch us.

Choices may be made to abandon Christianity or to embrace it by someone watching how we live.

 

Interestingly enough….

This domino effect also works the other way around.

When we live lives that please God and we obey His commands, we find that this also affect others. As they watch us, they are emboldened to live for Christ or they are drawn to His Word. We can encourage them to live for Him by our choice to live for Him! We can encourage them to be courageous and stand for Truth by our choice to live courageously and stand for Truth!

We can have a good influence on others or we can have a negative influence.

But we will have an influence.

What kind of influence will you have? When you have left this earth what will have been your domino effect?

May we give this serious consideration before it’s too late.

 

 

What is Your M.O.?

6 Comments / August 6, 2019

Frustration filled the voice of the caller. She had just had a meeting with someone and they were inflexible, unkind, and unhelpful. The real rub was that the person she had just talked to was supposedly a Christian–the kind that actually holds to what the Bible teaches.

This can often be the M.O. ( *modus operandi) of Bible-believing Christians. I am not sure how or why this is but, too often, the terms “unloving” and “harsh” apply all too well to those who call themselves believers.

On the other hand, love and kindness are often what we encounter when we meet up with Christians that care very little about doctrine. Despite their disinterest in most of the Bible, for some reason they have grabbed hold of the passages about love in the scriptures and they take them seriously.

Why is this? Why is it so hard to be passionate about truth and love?

There are probably a few reasons that make sense. A commitment to truth can yield arrogance in a prideful heart. Because of that commitment to truth, they consider themselves better than those who are not committed to truth. Another reason may be that they believe to be separated from the world means not talking to, not conversing with, having nothing to do with the world and so they respond coldly to anyone seeming to be from the world. And, of course, for most it may simply be cultural. They know no different and they have never even thought of being different. They are like their parents and their grandparents and their aunts and uncles. This is the way of the church they grew up in. The legalistic, judgemental church where you must wear the right thing, say the right thing, and do the right thing in order to be a “good Christian”.

In an age where the majority of those who call themselves Christians are ignoring all biblical commands in favor of living a worldly life, there are still a handful of us clinging to biblical truth.

But how is God going to use us if, as we cling to truth, we forget about love?

Loving others should be part of who we are. In fact, in I John 4, we read this–

 If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, [d]how can he love God whom he has not seen? 21 And this commandment we have from Him: that he who loves God must love his brother also.

Loving others is not simply a command. It is a test for whether or not we are a true believer!

Love is not an option but it is, rather, a natural outpouring of God’s work in our lives. If it is missing, we have serious cause for concern.

Now, of course, let me say here, there is a worldly definition for love that does not apply when we are having this discussion, right? The kind that agrees with sin, that applauds the sinner in their sin, that affirms and approves, no matter what the choice. That isn’t love. That is foolishness.

But when it comes to real love and kindness–what would people say about you?

Personally, I have come to realize that when I get in a discussion regarding something I feel passionate about, I can become rather intense as I discuss. I don’t mean to be harsh or unkind but I have finally recognized that this is how some people perceive me. I have gone back to apologize more than once and try to stay very conscious of this tendency, but I am still learning how to balance my passion for truth with heartfelt love.

It is important to consider what is our M.O. as we walk through our lives. When our family and friends think of us, do the words love and kindness come to mind?

I have written many posts about loving the truth because it is so important and because it is so terribly lacking in today’s church. But we also need to recognize the importance of love.

Let’s consider three reasons that we should–and even must–love others–

First, it is commanded and proves that we are a true believer. This could not be clearer, as demonstrated by the verses above.

Second, no one wants to listen to us talk about anything–much less God and truth–without love. If someone speaks to you in a harsh, unkind, or sarcastic way, do you even care what they are saying? They have already discredited themselves and their words considerably.

And, third, life is so much sweeter when we love. Have you thought about that? If we are all caught up in manmade rules and policing others, we lose so much joy. When we can understand that God takes each person on their own journey of spiritual growth and that we are not responsible for them, it yields so much more peace and joy in our lives. Whether it is our child, our spouse, or a friend, we must release them to God and just keep loving them and challenging them with biblical truth as we are given the opportunity. But there is no need to pound truth over their heads or to spend our lives frustrated and irritable. And there is certainly no cause for thinking that we are somehow better than they are. There, but for the grace of God, go I!

 

Oh, how important and necessary is this balance of truth and love. One without the other is like the day without the night. Both must be present in order to function best as a believer. The fact that both are present is not only an assurance of our salvation but is a demonstration to the world that we belong to Christ.

So go out and show some kindness! Love the people God has placed in your life today!

 

* modus operandi—a particular way or method of doing something, especially one that is characteristic or well-established.

 

Thinking Beyond the Obvious (Part 5)

4 Comments / September 7, 2023

This is Part 5 in a series that is exploring just how the world’s ways and philosophies sneak into our lives unawares. So often when people think of worldliness, it is with a very narrow definition. Perhaps they believe worldliness is equal to worldly entertainment and so they discern in this area, while letting the world affect their thinking in so many other areas. Perhaps they believe worldliness to equal materialism and so they are sure to live simply and generously, while worldly music and movies dominate their entertainment. You see, worldliness is not just one thing but it is a whole way of thinking that is anti-God.

The natural bent for all of us is to go towards the world. This is for a number of reasons. First, it is always easier to row downstream than upstream. When we become a believer we are rowing upstream and against the natural, sinful inclinations that we are born with. It is exhausting and takes a lot of effort. Second, we like to be like the world, insomuch that we don’t stick out and get made fun of. In other words, we want to be part of the crowd, even if it’s at the very edge. Otherwise, we look strange or eccentric or like some kind of fanatic. This is very important to most of us and this desire keeps many of us at the edges of the world hanging around the fence. And, third, and probably the biggest reason, is that the modern day false religion going by the name of Christianity says we can have salvation and keep the world, too. We can be like the world and still be saved, as long as we said “the prayer”. If one believes this, there is no reason to turn away from the world because they can have both things at the same time. Of course, this type of person can not possibly be in the Word because we can see over and over that this is not the case. But so many who would call themselves believers live in the world without nary a conviction because of the wave of easy-believism that has infected the ranks of true Christians in the last 50 or so years.

Today I want to take a look at how worldliness has seeped into our relationships. As I have been reflecting on this the past week, I became aware that there is far more world in the relationships of us believers than I first realized.

This will be hard to keep to a normal blog post length, but I am going to do my very best to be concise and to the point! Here we go–

8. RELATIONSHIPS. Relationships can be challenging under the best of circumstances. Even in a relationship where both are growing believers, there can be some hard moments. But, often, the holier we are the less challenges we will face. Each type of relationship has its own special challenges. But we can also find encouragement and guidance from scripture for each of these, as well, as we try to swim upstream in our relationships in a downstream world.

I want to take a look at a few of the most common relationships we all have and explore how the world’s thinking may be permeating them and then take a look at what the Bible teaches–

A. In Marriage

The World: In practice, the world promotes the woman as the head of the home, while the husband meekly follows her. While many men are involved with their kids (which is a good thing!) it is often in the capacity as servant to their wife’s desires. What she says he just does with very little leadership coming from him. I see this even in many Christian homes where the husband will just obey the wife, whatever she asks. This is completely opposite of what God designed for marriage.

The world would also tell us that our happiness is primary, so we are free to leave a marriage when it isn’t working for us. There are no parameters on this except for our own feelings of happiness.

A very loud minority of the world is demanding that marriage can be between any two consenting people, including those of the same sex. Even many who have called themselves Christians are abandoning God’s Holy Word and agreeing with this definition of marriage so that the minority is quickly becoming a majority with the onslaught of this philosophy literally coming at us from all angles.

What the Bible Says:

–On ROLES

God says that the man is to be the leader. Not only does he get to make the decisions but he also has to take responsibility for those decisions. I have always been glad that I am not a man! It is a real weight to bear if one is serious about their family’s well-being. Husbands are to love their wives and wives are to submit to their husbands. When it is done God’s way it is a beautiful thing. A wife well-loved finds it much easier to submit. God’s way always works best (Ephesians 5:22-24).

–On HAPPINESS

The only option to leave a marriage is if there is sexual immorality (Matthew 19:9). Our lack of happiness is never given as an acceptable reason to leave a marriage. I think there are many of you that could probably testify that some of your greatest spiritual growth has taken place through a really bad marriage. While we always must counsel young people to be oh, so careful in who they marry and while some marriages cannot be saved due to an unsaved or unwilling spouse, it is possible to grow and thrive spiritually in a bad marriage. And sometimes God will use this to bring an unbelieving spouse around. God speaks specifically to women regarding this in I Peter 3:1–Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives,

How important that we never give up hope, even in the midst of a bad marriage.

–On the DEFINITION OF MARRIAGE

Could there be anything more unpopular than speaking the words “I believe marriage is between one man and one woman”? And, yet, that is exactly what we find in scripture (Genesis 2:24). And, in fact, anything other than this is an abominable corruption of God’s design (Romans 1:26-27).

Marriage has been seriously attacked by the enemy. And he is winning in many places. How important that we do not allow him to win in our own homes! With time in the Word, prayer, and serious dedication to living a holy life, God will help us to navigate our marriage relationships.

Okay, I’ll be briefer with the last five. Promise!

B. Adult Children with Parents

I remember watching the interchange with someone with their elderly parent one day and was amazed and rather saddened at the lack of respect that was shown. While I am not yet dealing with elderly parents, I can only imagine that this would be a real challenge and frustration to adult children. And yet, as believers, we must respect our parents even when –or perhaps especially when–they grow old and frail. They have little dignity left and one way we can bless them is to continue to respect them and their desires.

The world says that there is no value in anything old. New is always better. This has filtered its way into how we feel about people. Youth is what matter in this culture while the elderly are often cast aside.

As adult children with parents, we can start to be affected by this worldly attitude and become disrespectful if we aren’t very careful. Of course, sometimes the disinterest and disrespect is a result of a parent who was always demanding or unkind getting their due, but, as believers, this is not an option for us–no matter what kind of relationship we have with our parents (Proverbs 20:29 and I Corinthians 13)

May we treat our parents with love and respect throughout all of their days.

C. With Friends

The world says friends are there to hang out, have fun, and party with. But God’s Word says something very differently. Who we hang around with is a very clear indication of our spiritual health. It is best to find friends who can help us grow and encourage us in our spiritual walk. A true friend will tell us the truth. If they see us going a wrong direction they will gently let us know and we will be thankful! (Proverbs 13:20; 27:5-6, and 27:17) Friendship between two believers is a truly wonderful thing!

D. With Co-Workers

The world says climb the ladder and step over whoever you want. The world says gossip and malign and tear down. But God says to consider others and to do nothing out of a selfish motive. God tells us to edify (build up) with our words. We should be a blessing and not a burden in the workplace. We should be the kind of person that people want to talk to instead of talk about. We should be the kind of person that gently steers the conversation a different way when the gossip is started in the break room (Philippians 2:3-4 and Proverbs 16:28).

When we are surrounded by unbelievers, it is so easy to become like them. Getting started in the Word each day and even memorizing some verses will help us remember that we are to be a light in a dark place.

E. In Broken Relationships/With Our Enemies

I touched on this a bit last time, but it bears repeating. The world will tell us that anyone that offends us or disagrees with us is our enemy and that we should treat them with ridicule, antagonism, and anger–maybe never even talk to them again. But, of course, we know that, as believers we are to respond completely opposite. We are to lovingly confront when we are upset and we are to forgive without measure. We are to extend grace to those who offend us and to those whom we disagree with. And when that same grace is not extended to us, we are to keep on loving that person anyway and “killing them with kindness” despite their ill treatment of us. This is far easier said than done and all of this–the grace, the forgiveness, the love–can only be done through the power of the Holy Spirit. There is no other way (Matthew 5:43-48; Colossians 3:13; Ephesians 4:31-32).

F. With Those in Authority

Whether it’s church leadership or a police officer or the boss at work, the general current consensus from the world is that “no one is going to tell me what to do!” You hear some form of this almost every day if you are out in the world. The lack of respect towards anyone in authority is astounding. But I guess not so much when you consider that the entertainment industry really breeds disrespect and rebellion. Think of what has been going on in pop culture since the 1960’s and it is pretty easy to see how we got here.

But the really sad thing is how this attitude has permeated the lives of Christians. No one is going to tell them what to do–even someone who holds a place of authority in their life.

When it all comes right down to it, the root of this is pride, plain and simple. There is a lack of humility and teachability in a person who is disrespectful and this breeds disrespect for the leaders that God has placed in his or her life.

But we are told in God’s Word that rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft! (I Samuel 15:23) That’s certainly a sobering thought, now, isn’t it?? And we are also told to show proper respect to everyone and to honor those in leadership (I Peter 2:17; Romans 13:1-7; I Thessalonians 5:12-13).

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I feel like each one of these would have been worth a whole post but I can’t write about this topic forever, right? I hope that this post has been helpful in getting you to think how worldliness may be affecting how you view certain relationships. Just one more way the world has seeped into our hearts and lives–sometimes without us even realizing it!

**If this series on worldliness is a blessing to you would you consider letting me know? It is so hard to know if what I am writing is helpful–especially when it comes to a series…

(You can find the entire series at this link.)

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