Sometimes in our quest to stand for the truth, we can find it difficult to love others. We can’t understand why they don’t see things as we do and we get a little ruffled–or sometimes downright rude–when they don’t stand with us for biblical Truth. And so, in our grand efforts to stand for Jesus Christ, we defeat our purpose by lacking love in the process.
Jesus Christ is both Truth AND Love. We cannot present one without the other. They are like two sides of a coin and cannot be separated when we present the Gospel. They cannot be separated when we stand for biblical Truth.
I heard the song below in church on Sunday and the lyrics really made me think. So often we think that loving our fellow man means giving them the necessities of life to help them in their poverty-stricken state– and this is one way to love. But, perhaps, sometimes we need to bring it a little closer to home and think about how we are showing love with our words, our tone, and our attitudes, right here and right now. If we can’t show love in our own homes and churches, it is a little ridiculous to think we will be able to do so on a mission trip in a foreign land.
And so this song made me contemplate my own words and attitudes. Am I showing love in my passion for Biblical Truth? If not, then I am just like a clanging cymbal (I Corinthians 13:1) It is probably a good reminder for us all.
BY OUR LOVE (by Christy Nockels)
Brothers, let us come together Walking in the Spirit, there’s much to be done… We will come reaching, out from our comforts And they will know us by our love…
Sisters, we were made for kindness We can pierce the darkness as He shines through us… We will come reaching, with a song of healing… And they will know us by our love!
The time is now Come Church arise… Love with His hands See with His eyes… Bind it around you, Let it never leave you, And they will know us by our love…
Children, You are hope for justice, Stand firm in the Truth now, set your hearts above You will be reaching, long after we’re gone, And they will know you by your love!
Sometimes this American culture that we find ourselves in feels just a bit surreal to me. Yes, we are in a culture where celebrities gyrate in obscene ways on our TV screens and the general population, which includes more than a few Christians, feels comfortable watching it. Yes, we are in a culture where our college kids are thrown together into co-ed dorms to romp and play for four years (of course, I know there are moral kids in co-ed dorms who do not do this but just the fact that it is allowed is just so wrong). Yes, we are in a culture where college professors hold seminars on sexual activities I wouldn’t even dare write about here. And yes, we are in a culture that praises–maybe even worships–sexual freedom and touts abortion as the answer to any unwanted consequences of that freedom. The whole thing makes me just a little sick to my stomach.
How can this be?
But it is. So what now? How do we respond to this crazy, sexually saturated culture?
Well, for starters, we have to be different. And if we are, we will definitely be noticed, and oftentimes, not even believed.
I was reminded of this, once again, when I went to the doctor with one of my daughters. The doctor came in and asked all of the proverbial questions. Do you smoke? No. Do you drink? No Do you use illicit drugs? No. Are you pregnant? No.
Are you sure? Have you been tested?
My daughter looked at her, speechless, and then looked at me. I piped up. NO, she hasn’t had sex. She can’t be pregnant.
The doctor then stated very matter-of-factly that many young girls lie about this in front of their parents, which I am sure is very true. This type of conversation was not new to me. I have had it before with doctors and I am sure I will have it again.
“No, I am not interested in Gardisil for my daughter because she is not sexually active.”
“Well, I know that is what you would like to believe, but…”
“Actually, I trust her.”
Usually after this conversation–and I’ve had this same conversation with the same doctor three times–the doctor (whom we like very much) kind of sighs and moves on to the next topic. I know that he does not have the same faith in my daughters that I have. But then, he also does not have the same faith in the one and only true God that my daughters and I have, either. Of course he is skeptical.
Now, I know how easy it is for kids to make mistakes in this area of sex and it does happen. And if it would happen to one of my kids, I would continue to love and support them, anyway. But I also know that my kids have committed to remain pure before marriage. But if you say this to any health professional they look at you like you (and your kids) have two heads and then treat you as if you just lied to them. My kids also experience this in the work world. I am sure your young people have had the same experiences if they have stood for what is right in this area. Many are the Christian boys and girls who are ridiculed because they have chosen to wait to have sex until they are married, while their peers share their “fascinating” sexual experiences with one another.
Can I just go on record saying it is possible to wait for sex until you are married? I know because I have done it. I don’t say this in a self-righteous kind of way but in a To God Be the Glory kind of way. And, yes, I stayed pure 25 years ago but there are many who follow through on this commitment in this present, treacherous age–young people who love the Lord and each other more than they love themselves.
I would also like to go on record saying that I have never, ever been sorry for waiting. I have only one body to give and I have always been very thankful that I waited to give that body to the love of my life, my husband.
Why do we treat teenagers and twenty-somethings like they have impulses they cannot control? I just don’t get it. But I digress.
I can’t help but wonder if those boys and girls who stand against the strong tide of sexual impurity aren’t admired and envied for their perseverance? Oh, it will rarely be said, but deep down inside there are many who can only wish they had waited, while they pick up the broken pieces of their hearts and lives.
The point–the whole point– is that, as believers, we are called to be holy, which in its very essence, makes us very different from those around us. And this particular topic–the biblical view of sex– goes against the flow in this current culture big-time. As believers, we should stand for godly marriage, waiting for sex until marriage, modest dress, and sexual purity in the movies we watch, the books we read, and the music we listen to.
And while we work to remain pure ourselves, we need to encourage others on towards purity and continue to love even when there are mistakes. We won’t make any difference in the world at all if we stay in our own little worlds pointing fingers at everyone. This world needs to hear that the life God calls us to as believers is about love and grace and holiness and blessing.
This culture is absolutely sex-crazy. Unless you move to a remote cabin in the woods somewhere, you can’t escape it. It is a strange land we find ourselves in. But we need to keep our eyes on the Lord and show that there is a different–a better–way to live. We need to show that not only is it possible to be sexually pure, but it is a blessing! We don’t have to be like the world. In fact, it is quite imperative that we are not like the world. And when we stand strong in this area of sexual purity, we will shine like a brilliant lighthouse in the midst of a very stormy sea.
It seems appropriate to take a moment and focus on marriage today, as my husband and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary yesterday. It feels like it was just last week that we were two excited kids getting started on our life together…and yet it feels like a lifetime ago. During those years we have grown and changed and evolved into two very different people than when we started. It really is a miracle that two people can love each other and live together in peace (most of the time!) for so long. We are both sinners who still struggle against selfishness and pride on a very frequent basis. Unfortunately, “sinners” do not magically become “non-sinners” the day they say “I do”. Both Eric and I will attest that it takes a lot of love, forgiveness, humility, and communication to make our marriage enjoyable. Most of all, the success of our marriage depends on taking every issue we face back to God and His Word, always using it as our guide.
But this is Wednesday Wisdom, which means I bring someone else’s writing to you instead of my own. And so I would like to share a paragraph I found in a book entitled What’s It Like to Be Married to Me? I thought it summed up, quite nicely, the beauty of marriage–
Emotional intimacy is being “naked and unashamed.” To be fully known; my darkest thoughts, hateful words, biggest disappointments, and greatest fears—and yet be fully loved and accepted. To know that I have given my heart to my husband, that he takes seriously the role of protector; that he is careful with my heart. And I am careful with his heart. It is knowing him so well and having such a deep understanding of him that I can trust him beyond circumstances. It is being so entwined with one another, yet so different, that we are like one plant putting off two very different blooms.
Dillow, Linda (2011-02-01). What’s It Like to Be Married to Me?: And Other Dangerous Questions (p.89-90). David C Cook. Kindle Edition.
Have you ever just stood by the ocean and contemplated just how deep and wide is the love of God? There are few songs that express the love of God as fully as this one. Thanks to the CCM group, Mercy Me, there is a generation of young people who have become familiar with it. If you have never heard it, I encourage you to listen to their version here. It is a beautiful old hymn.
THE LOVE OF GOD
(Verse 1)
The love of God is greater far
Than tongue or pen can ever tell;
It goes beyond the highest star,
And reaches to the lowest hell;
The guilty pair, bowed down with care,
God gave His Son to win;
His erring child He reconciled,
And pardoned from his sin.
Refrain:
Oh, love of God, how rich and pure!
How measureless and strong!
It shall forevermore endure—
The saints’ and angels’ song.
(Verse 2)
When hoary time shall pass away,
And earthly thrones and kingdoms fall,
When men who here refuse to pray,
On rocks and hills and mountains call,
God’s love so sure, shall still endure,
All measureless and strong;
Redeeming grace to Adam’s race—
The saints’ and angels’ song.
(Verse 3)
Could we with ink the ocean fill,
And were the skies of parchment made,
Were every stalk on earth a quill,
And every man a scribe by trade;
To write the love of God above
Would drain the ocean dry;
Nor could the scroll contain the whole,
Though stretched from sky to sky.
But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us, Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are saved); And hath raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus.Ephesians 2:4-6
But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8
Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend into heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there. If I take the wings of the morning, And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, Even there Your hand shall lead me, And Your right hand shall hold me. Psalm 139:7-10
Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 1 John 4:10
The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee. Jeremiah 31:3
For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39
Last Sunday was Father’s Day. What a wonderful day to celebrate the men who have shaped us and who are shaping our children. I feel indeed blessed to not only have had an exceptional father, but also to have an exceptional father for my children.
I heard this blog post read the other day and was struck by its simplicity, its truth, and its applicability (is that a word??) to both dads and moms. But before we move on to the article, we need to face a hard truth: it is a rare father that does all 21 of these things. And mine certainly didn’t. But then he (and my husband) both have their own unique personalities and good traits that aren’t listed in this article.
If we are mothers reading this, then let’s appreciate the good things that are written here and also the wonderful things that may not be included here about our fathers and husbands. Let’s apply what we can and become better mothers.
If you are a father reading this, then I present this as encouragement and inspiration–not as a source of dissatisfaction or hopelessness. Be the best, most godly father you can be with the resources you have. That is all God asks of you.
And on a personal note, in this article the author shares how his father rubbed his legs when he was suffering from growing pains as a child. His mention of this brought one of my own favorite memories of my father rushing to my memory. How well I remember him rubbing my aching legs in the middle of the night, while we talked about what heaven will be like. It is one of my fondest memories of time spent with my dad.
This was written by father and pastor, JoshMcPherson. You can find his original post here.
I don’t want to be a good dad—I want to be a great dad.
But the longer I live and more ministry I do, the more I have come to realize there are precious few examples of grace in action when it comes to fatherhood. So on this Father’s Day, I wanted to take a moment, heed Paul’s exhortation (Eph. 6:1), and honor my own father, Greg.
Was he perfect? Nope.
Did he make mistakes? Sure.
Does he wish he could do things differently? I have no idea.
But in a land where few men finish well when it comes to the daunting task of fatherhood, I’ve found myself reflecting and marveling at the grace of God in my dad’s life. He loved Jesus, repented often, and poured his life into his two sons. How much more could a boy ask for?
In your life, Dad, I have found a roadmap for my own role as father. So I wanted to take a few moments, and tell you thanks from the heart of a grateful son. Specifically, thank you for . . .
1. NEVER PUTTING ME DOWN
Not once. You never made fun of me, mocked me, or talked about me like I wasn’t there. Never was I the butt of your jokes. In everything you built me up, encouraged me, and moved me forward. You always spoke of my future with great hope. “The Lord will give you great opportunities, Josh. Jesus has great plans for you, son.” This sort of prophetic encouragement every boy needs, and I got it in bushels. Thanks, Dad.
2. RUNNING INTO MY ROOM
. . . the night I screamed in agony from growing pains. I was eight. You were half asleep. Tripping on a toy you went sprawling across the room in your underwear. We both burst out laughing. Then you rubbed my leg-cramps for an hour. I slept in the next day; you were up at 5 a.m. and out the door. You put my need to be comforted in front of your need for sleep. Thanks, Dad.
You loved Jesus passionately and it drew me in.
3. BEING THE TOUGHEST MAN I KNOW
. . . and crying in front of me often. It’s good for a boy to see both. I’ve seen you cut down trees, fix tractors, build things, and tackle gut-wrenching church conflict with unflinching courage and razor-sharp biblical clarity. I’ve also seen you listen intently, hug often, and tear up quickly when moved by someone’s pain or God’s grace. Not the helpless, whimpering, cowardly sort of tears—the genuine, earnest, heartfelt tears of a man who feels and thinks deeply. You cry easily when talking about Jesus, the gospel, redemption, and the day God called you into ministry. I love that. Thanks, Dad.
I never felt more safe and loved than when held in your arms.
4. RAISING YOUR HANDS
. . . and singing loudly with the church. I distinctly remember as a young boy looking up and seeing tears roll down your cheek during worship. I couldn’t articulate it then, but I knew that you were singing to someone who meant everything to you, who was great and big and awesome and worthy of your allegiance, and who gave you great joy. That is a gift to a young man. You didn’t tell me to love Jesus passionately—you loved Jesus passionately and it drew me in. Thanks, Dad.
5. SPANKING US, THEN HUGGING US
That is a powerful parenting combination that no child’s heart can resist. I never felt more safe and loved than when held in your arms as the sting of the spank faded and the assurance of your unshakable love filled my little heart. Redemptive discipline is a precious thing. Thanks, Dad.
6. LEAVING ME NOTES ON THE BATHROOM MIRROR
Sometimes they were a verse written out you’d read that morning, or a prayer for something big I was facing, or an apology for something said the night before. No matter the occasion, they were always encouraging, full of Scripture, and right on point. This told me you were thinking about me even when you were gone, and were vested in my success. Huge. I still have most of them to this day. Thanks, Dad.
Always you were there, Bible in hand, heart open, mind working.
7. PUTTING MY FRIENDS TO WORK
Mowing the lawn, cleaning the garage, working on a project in the shop. Every time my friends came over to our house, you worked us like dogs. I could never figure out why all the guys always wanted to come to my house.
But I figured it out later: you treated them like men. And then you’d fire up the BBQ and spend the rest of the day asking us what we wanted to do with our life that would make an eternal impact. Thanks, Dad.
8. READING YOUR BIBLE EVERY MORNING
That is the biggest memory I have: you, at the kitchen table, worn Bible in front of you, studying away. Not checking Facebook. Not returning email. Not reading the paper. Soaking in the Word. Sometimes tears were running down your face. Sometimes your eyebrows were burrowed in thought. Sometimes your head was bowed in prayer. Sometimes your pen was scratching furiously in your journal. But always you were there, Bible in hand, heart open, mind working. It left an indelible imprint on the life of a young boy about how a real man starts his day. Thanks, Dad.
9. LAUGHING LOUD, LONG, AND LOTS
At the dinner table. On a hunting trip. Or just whenever. Some of the most fun memories I have include watching you slap your thigh, throw back your head, and roar with laughter. I loved hearing your laugh. Still do to this day. You took many things in life blood-earnest, but you laughed at yourself often. That is a gift that has served me well in ministry. Thanks, Dad.
10. CHARGING ME RENT
You did this the day I turned 18 and was still living in your house. All of my other friends learned to freeload. I learned to work. And it wasn’t done as a cruel punishment, but a teaching moment for taking responsibility and growing up as a man. Thanks, Dad.
You were not living life unless you’re serving others and God’s kingdom.
11. LOVING ME WITHOUT QUESTION OR HESITATION
I have questioned many things in my life, doubted many things, faced many unknowns. But there is one thing of which I have never questioned: your love for me has been unwavering and relentless, dependable and true. It’s taught me a lot about how I am loved by my better heavenly Father. Thanks, Dad.
12. TURNING DOWN SPEAKING ENGAGEMENTS
. . . so you “wouldn’t miss the important years.” I didn’t appreciate it then. I do now. Thanks, Dad.
13. WRESTLING WITH US AS KIDS
. . . every night when you came home from work. You were probably exhausted from work, but knew we were waiting behind the couch to launch a surprise attack. You could have said you were too tired. But you didn’t. You wrestled until, giggling and short of breath, we begged for mercy (and asked for more at the same time). Thanks, Dad.
14. FILLING THE DINNER TABLE WITH STORIES OF GOSPEL VICTORIES
These were the best moments ever. To hear of a broken person made whole through the redeeming work of Jesus. My big takeaway from our dinner conversations was that you were not living life unless you’re serving others and investing in God’s kingdom. You whetted our appetite for gospel ministry early. Thanks, Dad.
15. READING THE PICTURE BIBLE EVERY NIGHT BEFORE BED
And oh, how you brought it to life! When Moses faced the Red Sea, I was overwhelmed with despair. When David stared down Goliath, I trembled with fear. When Jesus rose from the grave, we cheered and clapped for joy. Dad, when you read the Bible, The Story came to life. It’s no wonder your two boys have given their life to teaching others that same Bible. Thanks, Dad.
16. BUYING A HOT TUB
. . . so we could have a place to “hash things over.” Some of my best memories as a teen are coming home after something happened at school or with sports or with friends and asking, “Wanna hit the tub, Dad?” and knowing that you’d never say no, so we could have life-shaping conversations. Thanks, Dad.
17. TEACHING US THE IMPORTANCE OF MENTORS
You did this by having multiple mentors yourself and regularly showing us how they helped you. To this day, learning from men around me is a deeply held value of mine, one that has served me, my wife, our family, and our church well. Thanks, Dad.
A wise man is not a perfect man, but a repentant man.
18. SITTING ON THE FRONT ROW
. . . at church, Bible open, taking furious notes and bellowing hearty “Amen’s” while I preach. In this, you show me what it’s like for a man to be a lifelong learner.
19. CONFESSING SIN OFTEN
You were not perfect, but when you messed up, you were quick to confess it and repent of it. These made me feel safe, like I could follow you without fear. There was integrity in your life, and it gave me confidence in your leadership. You taught me by your example that a wise man is not a perfect man, but a repentant man. Thanks, Dad.
20. BEING THE FIRST PERSON I WANTED TO CALL
. . . when we found out Ella Mae would be born with Spina Bifida. That was a dark-night-of-the-soul moment. A confusing time. And all I knew was I needed to call my dad. You listened and affirmed your love for us and God’s plan in all the pain. Then you prayed with us and invited us over to the house. We needed to “talk it out and make a plan for this new little blessing God’s bringing into our lives.” I needed someone to tell me that day that this little girl would be a blessing, and you did. Thanks, Dad.
21. LOVING MY WIFE LIKE YOUR OWN DAUGHTER
She feels your love, she feels your support. She knows that if we came to you for counsel with a relationship conflict between us, that you’d take her side first before you’d take mine. “I think we love her more than we love you, Josh. I know we like her more,” you’ve said with a wink and a laugh. But it’s communicated the point. And that’s a wonderful thing for a daughter-in-law to know. Thanks, Dad.
I could go on but I’m way over word-count. So thanks, Dad, for loving Jesus and living a life that makes it easy to remember and honor. I love you deeply and am still watching closely as you follow Jesus and finish well. You have lived a life worth emulating, and I’ve been taking notes. May I learn from God’s grace in your life to love my children the same.
One more child graduated from high school on Saturday. Three down –only one to go. Where in the world has the time gone? As I sat listening to the commencement speaker address the group of gifted kids that made up my daughter’s senior class, my mind started to wander (no reflection on the speaker–just on my easily distracted mind). What would I say if I had the opportunity to address these kids? Trust me, I am under no grand illusion that anyone will ever ask me to speak to a group of graduating seniors but it did make me wonder: What would I say to a group of kids ready to embrace life as an adult?
In some ways, it feels like just yesterday that I was the one hugging my friends, saying good-bye to favorite teachers, and smiling for the camera. But it wasn’t yesterday, it was a lifetime ago. And it is amazing what one learns in a lifetime. And so here it is in a nutshell–my commencement address to anyone who is finishing up an education, whether it be high school or college–
1. Develop a deep love for the Word of God. Let it function as your guide and help for the many tough decisions you will be facing. Make it your moral compass. Many has been the time that my husband and I have said to each other that we don’t know what we would do without the Bible. It truly is a source of comfort, strength, and guidance—like a solid rock amidst the crazy sea of life.
2.Who you marry matters–A LOT. It will make or break your life. Make a decision right now to only marry someone who not only says they are a believer, but actually lives like they are one. You will spare yourself much, much heartache in the long run. I have seen so many young people make the wrong assumption that the person they marry will eventually be saved or they will change that bad habit, but, while it does happen on occasion, it is much more likely that you will end up in a very difficult marriage. Choose wisely!
3. Make every decision with the desire to please the Lord. Whether it be the smallest thing (what movie am I going to see tonight?) or the largest (what career should I choose?), seek the Lord’s will. Rather than trying to gratify your temporal desires now, live with an eternal perspective. I’d like to say this gets easier as you get older, and while in some aspects it does, as long as we are on a fallen earth, this is difficult to do.
4.Don’t sweat the small stuff. Life has enough big stuff to work through without making the small stuff so significant. This one I have certainly learned (or shall I say continue to learn) firsthand. I have the personality that can get very easily distraught over something very trivial. It has taken many years –and still I sometimes catch myself doing it– to relinquish the worry and frustration over the stuff that just doesn’t matter in life. But I have learned that life is so much sweeter if you don’t let the small stuff get to you.
5.Feed your mind well. If you spend your nights watching mindless television shows that mock all things Christian, you will never grow as a believer. Do not accept the mindless entertainment of this culture but, instead, think deeply, and then teach that to your children. Choose a church that will help you to grow in your knowledge of biblical doctrine and in the application of God’s Word. And remember–just because something has a Christian label, doesn’t mean it is Christian. Do you remember that verse about Satan coming as an angel of light (2 Corinthians 11:14)? There are a lot of books, music, and other media that twist the truth just enough to be completely out of whack. Know the truth, so that you can spot the lies.
6. Whatever you do, do it well. Some of you know what path you are headed on and some of you are still trying to figure it out. As you choose to go a direction, sometimes God will close doors and make it clear He wants you somewhere else. But whatever job you happen to be in right now–wherever He leads you–do your work heartily, as unto the Lord and not to men (Colossians 3:23). This world desperately needs people with a good and honest work ethic. Be that kind of worker.
7. Feelings matter but the truth matters more. Be careful not to base your life on your feelings. This is especially hard in a culture where almost everything is based on feelings. You don’t feel like going to work? Just call in sick. You love that guy who doesn’t know the Lord? Just marry him. You don’t love that girl anymore? Just get divorced. You are depressed about having a baby? Just kill it. But God calls us to live righteously even when our feelings don’t agree. Your life will end up so much better –in the here and now and for eternity– if you follow this advice: Do what is right and don’t worry about your feelings.
8. Make people a priority. Material stuff is very enjoyable. I mean who doesn’t like a cool car or a new iPhone? But keep people more important than your stuff. Don’t get so wrapped up in texting or the world online that you miss the potential relationships right in front of you.
9. And, finally, stay humble enough to learn from those who have gone before you. Learning from the elderly is not “cool” in our culture. Youth, and all things young, are what it’s all about. But you will spare yourself much heartache if you take the time to ask godly men and women questions and then listen to their answers. Sure some of us older people can be downright irritating–we know it, too–but that is because we love you so much. Give us a break and don’t write us off completely because we have learned a lot and we would love to share it (at least most of us).
I know I will never have the opportunity to share this in front of a group of graduating seniors, but this is what I would say. I don’t mean any offense to the educational gurus out there, but let’s face it, by the time you are 35 or 40, no one cares where you went to school. In fact, they don’t even really care if you went to school. But they do see how you are living your life. Live a life dedicated to Jesus Christ and by doing so, go out and make a difference for Him. Live with conviction and integrity so that you will shine like a bright light in the midst of a very dark world. After all, that is what really matters.
I can’t remember where I heard this a few weeks ago, but wherever it was, I can’t stop thinking about it: The reason people refuse to face the truth is because it will cost them.
That is probably one of the most profound things I have heard in a very, very long time.
All of us have heard the excuses. But the bottom line, in most cases, is that facing the truth will cost something we don’t want to pay. And, many times, most of us don’t consider the greater cost at the end of the line.
I thought of this the other day when I watched a movie. It was an unrealistic, poorly cast movie about a couple who had adopted a little girl from an Eastern European country. In a few weeks, the wife came across some clues that this child was probably not an under-privileged child growing up in an orphanage, but instead a child maliciously stolen from her loving mother. As she dug further, she became sure that this was the case and went to a federal agent. At one point in their conversation the agent looked this brave woman in the eye and told her that the outcome for this would not be good for her. The child would most likely be reunited with her biological mother and she would go back to a life of waiting for a baby to become available. This was the time that she could choose to look the other way and move on with her new life of motherhood. No one would be the wiser. She could go home, treat this child as her own, and be a happy family.
Fortunately for the child’s biological mother, this woman had the character and the courage to do what would cost her the most. She faced the truth.
Oh, she and her husband tried to rationalize keeping the baby for a few moments: The baby would have a better life in America and they could give her so many privileges and opportunities that she would never have in her country. But when the decision had to be made, they bravely did the right thing.
Would we have done the same?
I would like to think so. But sometimes we can’t even face our teenagers. Our spouses. Our friends. Our bosses.
Most of us walk right by truth and try hard to ignore it. Consider these examples–
–Our child wants to do something which we know is not a good idea. We will often cave because the cost (them being mad at us or screaming “I hate you!”) is not a price we are willing to pay.
–We find out our boss or a co-worker is dishonest. We will often ignore it because the cost (getting embroiled in drama, being harassed, or losing our job) is not worth it.
Many times, we can’t even face ourselves. Because to look at ourselves honestly is to see a sinner. And most of us do not want to see that. Even if we are saved and came to that conclusion a long time ago, we don’t want to be reminded of it over and over again.
And so we just live as if everything is just fine. Except everything is not fine.
There are a few of us who wisely look down the road and see if we don’t face the truth now, it will cost us in the end and so we do face the truth head-on –at least in the things that affect us personally.
But when it comes to a boss (who cares?) or our church (it’s none of my business) or a friend (it’s their life) we are much less apt to be willing to stick our noses in.
We often don’t have enough love for our co-workers and friends and church family to do what will help them the most because of the cost to ourselves.
And, honestly, I’ll grant you this: it takes a lot of tact, careful words, kindness, love, and, most of all, courage, to speak the truth, even when it’s going to hurt our reputations or affect our comfort level.
But perhaps being able to see ourselves and the world honestly and then being willing to act on what we see is one of the most courageous and vital things we can do. Instead, many–if not most–of us have been molded by our culture to shy away from it. We have also been scared by our culture and what happens to people who stand for truth–especially for God’s Truth.
We don’t have to be a preacher to share God’s Truth, we just have to know it (by knowing His Word) and then share it and stand for it. It’s that simple. But it’s that difficult.
But let’s always remember this: The price we pay for speaking truth may be very, very dear. And through the journey we may have many questions. But God faithfully and lovingly cares for us when we do the right thing. Always. He comes alongside those who stand for what is right in a way that sometimes seems even miraculous. Yes, it is difficult, but God is faithful and it is worth it.
I normally shy away from writing about current events, but recently I saw an interview by a popular sports announcer regarding the sexual sin in this country. He was straight forward in expressing what God’s Word says and yet very loving in how he presented it. I admire him very much. It took great courage for him to say what he said.
Why?
Because, as Christians, our views are not only unpopular, but considered downright unloving and repressive in the eyes of the world. It has become an anything goes world and if anyone dares to say that something is actually wrong, they are labeled a bigot and many other choice words.
But this sports announcer hit on a very important topic in his little speech. It is this: I still love you, no matter what you do, but don’t call yourself a Christian while living in perpetual sin. That’s where it gets tough, doesn’t it?
These people want to call themselves believers, even though they go against everything in God’s Word.
So how do we respond?
For me, it is so much easier to extend grace to those who do not claim to be believers. How could they know what is right and wrong if they have not heard? Many in this country today have only a vague notion of who Jesus Christ is. Many have assumed that evolution and abortion and homosexuality are all quite normal views, because Christians have become so marginalized. It is a sad state of affairs, but a good majority of people do not realize that a Christian world view was normal just a short time ago in this country. And so they are doing what they have been taught to do by our public schools, our talk shows, and our magazines–look out for number one: themselves. And honestly, can you blame them? They don’t know any better.
The problem comes for me when people who call themselves Christians do the same thing. Scripture assures us that a true believer will not live a lifestyle of perpetual sin (I Corinthians 6:9; Matthew 7:16-20; I John 2:3-6). YES, Christians make mistakes and may get caught up in something for awhile, but the Holy Spirit convicts us and changes us, so that we cannot stay in that state for a lifetime. If we are doing something wrong, the Spirit’s presence creates in us such an unrest that we can’t find peace until we confess our sin. This is the marvelous, amazing work of the Spirit in the life of a true believer.
So how do we respond to these people who claim Christianity, while going against everything God stands for?
Many of us grow disgusted and angry. How dare they sully the name of my Lord with their profane and ungodly lives? Many of us say absolutely nothing. Hey, if they want to do such and such, it’s their lives. Many of us grow confused. Maybe what I was taught all of these years wasn’t really the right thing, after all, if the whole world says it’s wrong?
Thankfully, scripture shows us in many places what our proper response should be–
COLOSSIANS 4:5-6 Walk in wisdom toward those who are outside, redeeming the time. Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.
II CORINTHIANS 6:14Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?
2 THESSALONIANS 3:14-15 if anyone does not obey our word in this epistle, note that person and do not keep company with him, that he may be ashamed. Yet do not count him as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother.
I CORINTHIANS 14:33 For God is not the author of confusion but of peace, as in all the churches of the saints.
I CORINTHIANS 16:13-14Watch, stand fast in the faith, be brave, be strong. Let all that you do be done with love.
Could it be that God knew our human response is to grow angry in the face of opposition? Is that why the words “let all you do be done with love” is added after Paul’s exhortation to stand fast in the faith?
Note that in all of these verses, there is nothing about anger or malice. There is also a strong recommendation to avoid the company of those who claim to be a believer but aren’t living like one. This doesn’t mean we can’t be friends with them–we still need to pray for them and love them and talk with them but I do believe it means that we do not seek their company. They are not our closest confidantes and we should not turn to them for advice or to share our deepest struggles and joys.
This is a crazy, crazy world. I knew it was going the wrong direction even as a teenager, but not even I could have guessed the deplorable condition we would find ourselves in this many years later. As I watch brothers and sisters in Christ suffer persecution across the world, it is with the awareness that an immense thundercloud is just above our heads in this country. We are kidding ourselves if we think the toleration that is extended to everyone else will be extended to us. God’s Word is clear that we will be hated in this world.
And so it comes down to this: do we stand or do we cave? Do we speak truth or do we back ourselves into a corner and try to remain inconspicuous?
And if we stand and speak, we are commanded to do so with love. Love for a lost world, love for blinded people who think they are going to heaven, love for those we meet each and every day who have no idea that Jesus can truly change their lives.
And we need to remember that the biblical definition of love is quite different than what the world is telling us. True love tells the truth. Worldly love says any opinion is valid. True love extends grace and mercy. Worldly love is conditional. True love speaks with kindness and gentleness. Worldly love turns hostile and malicious in the face of disagreement.
May we stand strong but may we do so with true and biblical love!
In this current day it is not difficult to find something to worry about. The economy, financial woes, diseases and illnesses, the future of our country and the church, and struggling relationships are just a few things that can cause us to worry. But our generation doesn’t have the corner on the anxiety market. Throughout the ages, people have struggled with anxiety and fear. Thankfully, the Bible speaks to this sin (yes, it is a sin and not a disorder). In God’s Word we find that not even a sparrow falls unless it is God’s will. When we worry we forget just how big and powerful God is. We forget that His will, His timing, and His ways are not ours. Of course, this is so much easier to write than to live out. John MacArthur wrote a blog series on this topic on his Grace to You website last fall and I want to share one post here today. You can find a link to the whole series after this post. I hope you are challenged by this as much as I was–
If you worry, what kind of faith do you manifest? “Little faith,” according to Jesus (Matthew 6:30). If you are a child of God, you by definition have a heavenly Father. To act like you don’t, nervously asking, “What will I eat? What will I drink? What will I wear for clothing?” is to act like an unbeliever in God’s eyes (vv. 31-32).
Christians who worry believe God can redeem them, break the shackles of Satan, take them from hell to heaven, put them into His kingdom, transform their nature, and give them eternal life, but just don’t think He can get them through the next couple of days. That is pretty ridiculous. We can believe God for the greater gift and then stumble and not believe Him for the lesser one.
The Worrier Strikes Out at God
Some might say, “Why make a big deal out of worry? It’s just a trivial sin.” No, it is not. I suspect many mental illnesses and some physical illnesses are directly related to worry. Worry is devastating. But more important than what worry does to you is what it does to God. When you give in to worry you are saying, in effect, “God, I just don’t think I can trust You.” Worry strikes a blow at the person and character of God.
The Worrier Disbelieves Scripture
It breaks my heart to hear some Christians say, “I believe in the inerrancy of Scripture,” but then live as perpetual worriers. That’s blatant hypocrisy. It is incongruous to say how much we believe the Bible and then live in doubt and worry that God won’t fulfill what He has said in it.
The Worrier Is Mastered by Circumstances
When you or I worry, we are choosing to be mastered by our circumstances instead of by the truth of God. The uncertainties and trials of life pale in comparison to the greatness of our salvation. Jesus wants us to realize it doesn’t make sense to believe God can save us from eternal hell, but can’t help us in the practical matters of life. The apostle Paul reflects a similar desire in Ephesians 1:18-19.
I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you will know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the surpassing greatness of His power toward us who believe.
When you catch yourself worrying, go back to Scripture and have your eyes opened again.
The Worrier Distrusts God
When we worry, we are not trusting our heavenly Father. That means we don’t know Him well enough. Take heart—there’s an effective remedy: study the Word of God to find out who He really is and how He has supplied the needs of His people in the past. That will build your confidence in Him for the future. Stay fresh in God’s Word every day so that His truth is constantly on your mind. Otherwise Satan is apt to move into the vacuum and tempt you to worry about something. Instead, let God’s track record in Scripture and in your own life assure you that worry is needless because of God’s bounty, senseless because of God’s promise, useless because of its impotence to do anything productive, and faithless because it is characteristic of unbelievers.
Find this entire post here, and the entire series on attacking anxiety here.
This weekend I had the not-so-delightful opportunity to be on both sides of the expectation equation.
On one occasion, I fell woefully short of someone’s expectations of me. The feelings that arise in that situation — frustration, irritation–come rushing over me like a waterfall. I chafe a bit under expectations that I can’t possibly meet and grow quickly frustrated before eventually tossing the whole thing to the wind and trying to forget about it. But it does cause some blocks to be built in the dividing wall of a relationship.
And, then, I was on the other side, as well. I expected someone to do something and when they didn’t do it, those familiar emotions came whirling back into my heart and head. And again some block-building takes place.
Frustration and irritation and wall-building are all routine in the World of Unmet Expectations.
This world is fraught with other dangers, especially if it is a regular occurrence–
–breakdown of communication
–grudges
–anger
–vengeance
You see, we grow to expect certain things. We expect our kids to behave in a certain way, we expect our spouses to treat us in a certain way, we expect our family, friends, leaders, and pastors to do certain things. And the funny thing is–we all have very different opinions of what those expectations are.
Much of it is built during our childhood and what we saw in our homes and churches growing up. Some of it is built from the books we read and the movies we watch. And some of it is simply human nature.
But, wherever those expectations come from, they can cause serious chaos if we don’t make careful effort to keep them as a lower priority than the actual person we are expecting something from.
Let me give an example. Let’s say that I am expecting my child to do something and they choose not to do it. If I make my expectation more important than my child, then I will place myself at the center of the offense and yell and scream and altogether handle it badly. If I make my child more important than my expectation, then I will focus on what exactly needs to be fixed (if there was actually sin involved) and handle it calmly and rationally.
Many times expectations aren’t even sin issues, but simply two people who desire to do two different things.
I am sure you have heard the joke about the newlyweds who fight over the toothpaste tube. Should they roll it or just squeeze it? Or the toilet paper roll. Should it go over or under? That is all about expectations.
And in those situations, someone has to give. That has been a hard lesson for me over the years, one I continue to have to work on. When I have an agenda that includes someone else and they have a different idea, then I have to learn to release my expectations wholly and completely–no sarcastic or hurtful remarks, no sulking, no holding grudges.
When I can do that, my family and friends desire to spend time with me. If I can’t, then I become one of those people that they would prefer not to be around–because they can never make me happy.
Think about the last time you had an argument with someone. Was it over something serious or moral or was it just an unmet expectation of relative insignificance? Was it something that was worth standing on or something that was simply opinion?
We need to keep this in mind when the next situation crops its ugly head–which will probably be today, so let’s keep our eyes open, our hearts humble, and our minds ready!
