growing in christ

The Fifty Dollar Bill

50

Taking our anger out on those we love most seems to be a pretty typical pattern for many of us.

If something bad happens at work, on the team, or at church, most of us tend to keep our cool. It isn’t until we are in our own homes that we react emotionally to the painful incident or bad day and end up hurting those closest to us by lashing out in anger.

The other day, I found an old checkbook that I no longer use. I ripped up the few remaining checks and threw the whole thing in the trash. For some reason, I glanced down at the wastebasket. Was I surprised when my eyes fell on “part” of a $50 bill!

At first, my thought was no way! and I quickly reached down and pulled out the piece, not quite believing that it was actually real. Then I panicked a bit — did I actually just rip up a $50 bill?

I started searching a bit frantically for the pieces. In just a moment, I had found all three. I carefully put the pieces in order and then started taping them back together.

Will the bank accept this bill? I think so –although I’m not quite sure — never having done this particular foolish thing before.

But will it ever be the same again?

No, it will not. I can never make that bill magically into one whole piece again. It will always be taped for the remainder of its days in circulation.

What makes this even sadder is that I never intended to rip up that $50 bill. It just kind of got in my way, unknowingly hidden within the pages of an old checkbook (I still have no idea why it was there or any recollection of putting it there).

What a great picture of what so often happens with our closest relationships–

We are frustrated or upset about an issue that has nothing to do with anyone at home. Yet, as we are letting go of the angry or hurt emotions, we often end up ripping our loved ones into pieces. It isn’t our intention, it just happens.

The thing is, just like that $50 bill can never be put back together whole, so we can never truly repair the damage we do to our relationships. Oh, we can patch things up and forgive each other and move on but the damage has been done. While we can forgive, we rarely forget. How helpful it would be if we just didn’t let these things happen in the first place.

Life is so short. And most of us have been so blessed with deep, abiding relationships with our families and even some friends. Let’s make sure that no person is ever in the path of any ungodly anger or emotion we end up displaying (which is certainly sinful under any circumstances, but seems to be doubly bad when we end up hurting others in the process).

Let’s protect our relationships. They are fragile. And oh so precious. No bad day is worth causing those we love hurt and pain. Let’s not let something that won’t matter a bit in eternity erode our relationships with our spouse and children. It’s so not worth it.

Alone in the Store

The actual rainbow I saw as I came out of the store
The actual rainbow I saw as I came out of the store

The sky grew darker and darker. Billows of black clouds rolled above my head. I couldn’t believe it wasn’t raining yet. I nervously drove towards the grocery store, wishing I had just stayed home. (I am pretty sure that the tornado that ripped through the development just down the road almost ten years ago is still affecting my nerves when the sky grows dark!) But I was almost there already, so I wasn’t going back home now.

The leaden sky and heaviness in the air made it very clear that the storm was approaching quickly and I saw people scurrying around as I got out of my car. I asked myself again: What exactly am I doing out in this?

I grabbed a cart and decided that I was probably going to need to wait this out in the store. I really wanted to be at home, but I wasn’t and so I decided I just needed to make the best of it.

Just as I went inside and made my way to the produce aisle, I heard the deluge begin on the roof above me. The fact that the wind and rain could be heard so loudly inside a building with hardly any windows was actually a little scary. But I continued to shop.

The store at this time was abuzz with activity. Lots of people traveling hurriedly among the aisles and cashiers busily checking out customers. But about ten minutes later, I realized something. I was the only customer. Well, maybe not the only one, but I didn’t see another one as I traveled the aisles and the store had grown deadly silent aside from a few excited store employees moving about as they discussed a leak in the back of the store.

What was I missing?

Why had everyone gone out in the pouring rain instead of waiting it out in the store? I have to confess that about that time I started wondering if there was a tornado warning or something that I should know about. I called my daughter and texted my husband. All was okay at home. I breathed a sigh of relief. And then I started imagining the shelves caving in on me when the dreaded tornado blew through (it’s one of the downfalls of being a writer–this vivid imagination!) My eyes started searching the store — where would I be the safest? And then I just laughed at myself. There certainly wasn’t much I could do about it, so I just kept shopping, taking my good old time, because I certainly wasn’t going to venture outside in such weather. (A few days later I found out that there was indeed a tornado warning!)

About the time I was ready to check-out, I heard one of the cashiers exclaim to her co-worker, “It looks like the sun is out!” And then, “there’s a rainbow!”

I breathed a sigh of relief and checked out as hurriedly as I could. I had spent enough time in the grocery store for one day!

As I pushed my cart outside, there was indeed a rainbow, vivid in its colors, along with a fainter, second rainbow just above it. It was beautiful!

I can’t help but relate this experience to how I feel as a biblical Christian in the current culture. The storm is upon us and with each new heresy, tons of Christians are jumping ship–

There’s no hell? Yes, I like that idea. And there goes several thousand.

You can be gay and be a Christian, too? Yes, that satisfies my flesh and my thinking just fine. And there goes several thousand more.

Christianity is based more on my experience and how I feel than on what God’s Word says? Oh that feels real good. And off go a great big bunch.

God didn’t create the world in seven literal days? Well, whatever the secular scientists say must be right. And we lose many more.

You only have to say a prayer asking Jesus into your heart and then can continue to live however you want? Heaven and my flesh, too? Perfect. And there goes several hundred thousand.

Until those of us who are adhering and obeying God’s Word in its totality feel completely and utterly alone in the “store” wondering if we are missing something? Of course, many who are jumping ship were never believers in the first place, but what puzzles most of us is why fellow believers are venturing out into such a relentless and severe storm of demoralizing confusion? Is there something we don’t know?

I think what we do know is that, in the end, many will be deceived. Many will lose their love for truth and instead want their ears tickled with pleasing fancies and fables (2 Thessalonians 2:10-12; 2 Timothy 4:3-4; Matthew 24:24).

But I am committed to “staying in the store” no matter what weather blows outside because I am safest there (Psalm 91:1-3). Would you consider staying here with me? Let’s be the ones that stick together until the end — loving God more than we love ourselves, desiring to please, obey, and glorify Him alone.

There is still a precious remnant who wants to honor the Lord and obey His whole Word. There are still some of us who are sticking to the traditional faith, where whole-hearted repentance of sin, faith in Christ alone for salvation, and a transformed life because of this faith are the defining signs of a genuine believer. There are still a few of us who adhere to the Bible as the literal and inerrant Word of God. We are not alone. Let’s weather the storm together, knowing that when it’s over our reward will be far greater than a beautiful rainbow (James 1:12; I Corinthians 2:9; Romans 8:18).

 

The Illusion of Permanent Happiness

Woman-taking-off-wedding--007

We hadn’t seen the girl for a long time. We knew her like we know our postman. Barely. But enough to smile and say Hi. I didn’t even know her name.

She referred to her husband in the past tense in the course of our conversation. Which made us wonder. Was everything okay?

Turns out everything wasn’t okay.

Unbeknownst to me, my small question had just opened the door for a very interesting conversation.

She shared about how she and her husband had never really felt anything for each other. They had just dated as kids and after you date you get married. She realized that they had really only been just friends more than anything else and she decided after a few years that this wasn’t the way she wanted to live the rest of her life. There was no enmity, no arguing–but there wasn’t any love, either.

I got the distinct impression that this was more about her not feeling love than him not feeling love. She went on to share that her choice had left him broken-hearted and devastated. She truly felt bad for him, but not that bad. The separation had recently become final with that ugly word divorce.

It all made complete sense. If you have the world view that your happiness is your first priority then it made complete and absolute sense. I don’t fault her. She is just living out what all of us have been taught for at least the last 30–if not 40– years: Our personal happiness is the most important thing in the world.

Disney has been telling us to follow our hearts since its inception and many voices have joined the chorus, crying out that we cannot possibly be all that we were meant to be if we aren’t happy. Many marriages, children, parents, friendships, and other relationships have been sacrificed on the altar of personal happiness.

But there is an intrinsic problem with this world view: We are searching for something that can’t be found. Even if we had more money, a better body, or the perfect marriage, we wouldn’t be happy. Not for long because happiness cannot be found in circumstances. Even when we think we have found it for a year or two, it is so elusive, that as soon as we think we have grabbed a hold of it permanently, it disappears again and we are left empty-handed or frustrated, continuing our search elsewhere.

No, true happiness isn’t to be found in changing our circumstances, but instead it is found in fixing our eyes on Jesus and submitting ourselves to God’s plan for our lives. True happiness is found in obedience to God’s Word. (Psalm 37:4, Proverbs 16:20, Proverbs 28:14, and almost all of Psalm 119)

The time wasn’t right, but I so wanted to share with her that God can fill her heart with love — deep and abiding love– for her husband. I wanted to tell her that Jesus isn’t just a name or some historical figure that people talk about but that He’s real and is making a real difference in my life and many other lives of true believers. That He has radically saved and changed me. And my husband. And our kids. I mostly wanted to tell her that He can radically save and change her.

But after she had told us about what had been going on in her life, we were out of time and we had to head different directions. And so I had to walk away from that conversation rather dissatisfied at the outcome. Thinking I could have done better. Said something wiser. But, alas, the opportunity was over.

But we left realizing that the world view that most of us have taken to heart is an outright lie from the pit of hell.  And, lest we Christians become a little “uppity” here at this point, think for just a moment about how important your happiness is in your own life. Oh, we may not walk away from a marriage or do anything so drastic, but this quest for personal happiness plays itself out in millions of small ways every day, causing arguments, strife, and heartache. You see, whether we are Christians or not, when we fall for this lie– when we make our own happiness our most important priority– we not only end up bringing disappointment and turmoil to our own lives, but to many lives around us, as well. And we all fall for it sometimes. Hopefully, less and less as we mature in the faith.

May we find our happiness and joy in Jesus, delighting in and obeying His Word and submitting to His will for our lives. Only then are we be able to say that we are truly happy…at least until the next time we find ourselves focusing on ourselves yet again–it’s such a cycle. Permanent and everlasting happiness and joy will come but not until we are with our loving Savior in our eternal home.

Removing the Junk

chocolate-peanut-butter-cup-ice-cream-3-550

I have a feeling my husband might be a little upset with me today. Well, let me begin at the beginning.

I have spent the last year or so on a very slow and arduous journey. It has taken me to the highest mountain and to the lowest valley. I have felt the exhilaration of success and the sting of defeat.

Most of you know I am not an athlete, so you probably are wondering what in the world I am talking about?

It’s called Weight Loss.

Ugh.

Can anyone relate? My journey is so slow that when I went to the doctor in April, I had lost only 18 pounds in one year. But, as I figure it, that is 18 pounds less than I weighed a year ago. That is 18 less pounds that do not need to be carried by my bad knees. 18 less pounds of fat surrounding and impeding my internal organs. 18 less pounds. I consider that somewhat of a success. At least for someone who can’t run anymore.

I do have lots to share about the past year. If you are discouraged in your weight loss journey by physical limitations or simply hopelessness, please contact me privately. I am not ready to share anything publicly yet, as I have such a long way to go.

But, on to why my husband may be upset with me…

So my doctor’s visit in April was a wonderful success and then I let my guard down. Everything was crazy busy with the wedding, I was doing great, and…

I got lazy.

This morning I stepped on the scales with great trepidation. And, rightly so. I had gained several of those pounds back.

I thought over the last few weeks and realized that there was a good reason I was seeing that number on the scales. I had completely left my guard down and had brought junk food back into my home. It’s also ice cream season and I have a hard time resisting ice cream. I had grown apathetic and had not exercised as regularly as I should.

The funny thing is that all of this bad stewardship of my body wasn’t making me feel better in any way. Nope. All that extra sugar and fat was making me feel lethargic and gross.

As I was thinking about that this morning, I decided that today is a new day! I am going to feed my body well. But I was also fully aware that as I progress through the day, this bright morning resolution was likely to dim considerably as the ice cream would start calling my name from the depths of the freezer.

Something drastic had to be done.

And so I gathered the container of Chocolate Peanut Butter ice cream that I can’t resist and the half-eaten bags of Dieffenbach’s chips and threw them away.

You see, I know what I can and cannot resist and those two things were making it difficult for me to continue on my path  to health and wellness. Enough is enough and they had to be removed. Now, my husband does not like when I throw away food. Do you think it is okay if, in this one instance, I went ahead and did it, anyway? I think so, since I am pretty sure me being healthy is more important than a few dollars wasted.

The ridiculous thing is that when I bought these items at the grocery store, I knew full well that they would be difficult for me to eat in moderation. And so a wise person wouldn’t have purchased them in the first place. But I had this insatiable desire for sugar and salt and decided to completely ignore the voice in my head that told me to walk by them in the store.

Our spiritual lives are so similar, aren’t they? We know full well what sins we can or cannot resist. And yet we flirt with them, thinking somehow that we won’t reap the sorry consequences of our choices. But a spiritual diet of all junk food is just as devastating to our spiritual health. For we always reap the consequences of our actions. I can’t eat a regular diet of junk food without reaping the consequences of extra weight. It’s the same in the spiritual realm.

And so we need to carefully think about what we are allowing in our lives and discard anything that is keeping us from being the healthiest we can be spiritually.

And, just like eating a good, balanced diet helps me to feel so much better and be my most healthiest self, so feeding ourselves biblical truth through Bible study, solid preaching, and books that help us understand scripture correctly helps us to be our healthiest spiritual self.

And so let’s think about our lives. What do we need to discard today? What is keeping us from growing like we could be? Perhaps it’s a favorite tv show or an addiction to movies (get rid of cable)? Or an insatiable desire to buy stuff (cut up your credit cards)? We all struggle with different things. But we all struggle. Let’s be fully conscious of the things that are keeping us from being the healthiest we can be–in all areas of our lives!

When We Are Wrongly Accused

1409592_81898043

The accusations came in an e-mail. From someone I thought was my friend. In the e-mail, she stated falsehoods about me as facts. There was no doubt or indecision in her statements. Just a break of friendship because of a, b, and c that she had heard about me. Things I had said or done that made it impossible to be my friend anymore.

My first reaction was to write a letter of self-defense. After all, I was being unjustly accused of something that wasn’t even true. The hurt ran very deep. She didn’t even value my friendship enough to talk to me in person about these accusations.

But as I talked it over with my husband, I decided against it. I realized that if she was willing to end our friendship via an e-mail, without any offer to get together and talk about it, then she probably had never been a friend at all. And, honestly, I just wasn’t interested in making her choose who to believe. To write a letter would have meant I needed to accuse someone she loved dearly of lying. I didn’t see any good coming from that.

A few years after that e-mail, something similar happened. Eric and I made a decision that we knew was very risky to some future relationships. We definitely felt the Lord’s direction and guidance and decided to obey Him. We tried to make the necessary change as gracefully and lovingly as we possibly could. After the decision was made, several friendships which we valued grew very icy. We couldn’t figure out why.

A few months later, we had a pretty good idea what had happened.

You see, friends we value very highly actually came to us and told us that someone had lied blatantly about us. They valued our friendship enough to ask if what they heard was true. It wasn’t true at all. And we grew almost depressed knowing that this person was telling such vicious lies about us. The feeling of powerlessness that happens in a situation like this is almost overwhelming. But, again, we realized that more harm than good would come from a confrontation and so–as painful as it was–we chose to just let it roll.

This all happened a long time ago, but it came to my mind recently, for some reason. I think it may be because we find ourselves in a bit of a complication with the state of Pennsylvania because we have been wrongly accused of not paying our unemployment compensation to the state. They are stating that we did not pay our taxes due from the third quarter of 2011. In the aftermath of that, they have increased our rate substantially and revoked our sales tax license. When I talked to them on the phone, explaining that they are wrong and that we have paid the tax, there isn’t much belief or help on their part. I am in the middle of that mess and e-mailed bank copies of the cashed checks in the exact amount to them yesterday.

I have found that there are few things that make you feel more helpless and powerless than when you are wrongly accused of something.

But if we choose to stand up for what is righteous and true, this will probably happen to us. We will have enemies who want to take us down and discredit us. It is the very nature of the world that the wicked will try to take down the righteous. David talks about this in Psalm 109 and Psalm 41:7-9. And Peter tells us that we will suffer for Christ’s sake (I Peter 4). Part of this suffering will be verbal, reputation-ruining rumors and gossip about us.

So how do we deal with this?

Do we get all huffy and upset? Do we return evil for evil and start spreading our own gossip? That is what the flesh wants to do, isn’t it? At least my flesh!

What I have found is that, after I have vented to someone I trust wholly and completely (usually my husband or my mom), it is best to just ignore the false accusation (unless it has to do with taxes or hurts someone else — then we should not ignore it!).

If we are given an opportunity to defend ourselves (such as in court or in a conversation with friends) we should not be afraid, for the Holy Spirit will guide and direct us (Mark 13:9-13). And it’s important that any defense is spoken in a calm and loving manner. If we pitch a fit of temper and defend ourselves heatedly, we will almost always automatically disqualify ourselves to our listeners.

And, in the end, God knows the truth about you. He has told us that vengeance is His (Romans 12:19) It is so very important that we do not allow ourselves to grow bitter. This is probably what we Christians struggle with the most, don’t you think? We allow ourselves to hate those that have lied about us.

One of the hardest things I have done is to treat those that have accused me falsely with kindness. The first time you see them, your heart just sinks and you want to avoid them. But if we can face them with a smile and loving-kindness that first time, the next times grow easier and easier. You see, we can’t control them. We can only control us. And this verse comes constantly to mind when I am dealing with people who have accused me falsely–

 If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. (Romans 12:18)

Isn’t it interesting that the verse right after this ones talks about how God will avenge us? Our job is to live peaceably with men as much as it is up to us. God will take care of the rest.

These things are not easy. I know from personal experience. They take great effort of the mind to pull away from the thoughts of anger, vengeance, and bitterness. But if we allow the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with love, grace, and mercy for these souls that have hurt us so deeply—if we can respond in this completely unnatural way (according to human standards)–we are a shining example to the world of the transformed life that God has wrought in us.

In fact, we can turn something Satan wanted to use to further his kingdom into something that furthers God’s kingdom. It’s completely up to us.

 

 

Spreading the Rose Petals

wedding

As most of you already know, Saturday was Wedding Day around here. Our oldest daughter was married on Saturday and is now happily honeymooning with her groom in the Caribbean.

Saturday dawned bright and clear. It all felt a little surreal, quite honestly. After a flurry of activity and many camera clicks, we were finally ready for the five o’clock ceremony.

I walked down the aisle with the best man, aware that all eyes were on me for that brief moment. I breathed a sigh of relief as I sat in my appointed seat and eyes were moved elsewhere.

I then watched my daughters walk down as maids of honor, followed by the bridesmaids and groomsmen.

And then came the children.

If you know my daughter, you know that she loves children. First came two beautiful nieces, their hands tightly holding the strings that were attached to the big, round balloons floating above their heads. And then came a handsome and very serious nephew, pulling a wagon which was supposed to hold two baby nieces. However, we heard a howl in the back and so only one adorable and wide-eyed baby girl was in that wagon.

And then came the official flower girl and ring-bearer. The ring-bearer was another nephew and the bride has been the flower girl’s nanny since she was born. This charming couple was tightly holding hands. Meanwhile, the basket holding the white rose petals stayed filled to the brim. They carefully walked down the aisle. I thought she forgot about the rose petals, but when they got to the front, they dropped hands to go different directions and that is when she put her small hand into that basket and pulled out a handful of petals. And then another. And another. She just kept pulling out those petals and spreading them over the ground where the bride and groom would soon be standing.

I finally told her that it was probably enough and she dutifully moved to her position beside the maid of honor.

I then had the privilege of standing and turning, as all eyes turned towards the stunning bride. It was an overwhelming moment and the next hour flew by, as we listened to two of our favorite pastors in all the world present very helpful challenges not only to the couple, but to us, the witnesses.

It was a beautiful ceremony and reception and I am proud of all the thought and effort that my daughter put into making the evening a wonderful experience for all who attended. It was her hope– and ours– that it would be God-honoring, first and foremost, and also enjoyable. I hope that we accomplished that.

I heard later that the flower girl told her mother, very logically, that it wasn’t possible to drop the petals before she let go of the ring-bearer’s hand. Ah, the wisdom of children.

As I was thinking about her words this morning, I had to smile. You know, she may be on to something there.

How often do we try to hold on to our own dreams and desires and please God, too? It’s like we want the best of both worlds. And, yet, it is absolutely impossible. We cannot totally experience the all-surpassing peace and joy that God promises us until we let go of our own desires. Of course, the most awesome thing of all is that when we do this, God changes us and fills our hearts with desires that please Him.

During the ceremony, one of the pastors talked about how God’s purpose for marriage can only be accomplished if we die to ourselves. He then added that living for Christ can really only be done well if we die to ourselves.

Yes, that is exactly what I saw in the flower girl’s actions. You can’t really do what you have to do until your hands are free.

You have to love the simple lessons we can learn from children.

Now, I’d better get going. I have a ton of wedding clean-up to do :)

 

New Isn’t Always Better (and other lessons I’ve learned about change)

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Sometimes you have to learn really expensive lessons. Sometimes you can fix it, sometimes you can’t.

But, before I talk about my lesson, first let me tell you a story–

The dark green recliner sat on the floor of our local Sam’s Club. It was a great price and we thought it would be a great addition to our living room. So we decided to purchase it. We took it home, very pleased with our bargain.

I loved that chair and spent many hours there, nursing babies and holding sick kids. I even spent the nights there when I had a horrible case of mastitis — yes, you read that right — in terrible pain with a breast infection.

About ten years after we purchased it, we moved to a new house. We took the chair with us, but relegated it to our formal living room and bought new furniture for our family room. It now wasn’t used as often. That room became our homeschooling read-aloud room and so the chair became my place to read to my kids. We read about history and God and science. We played games and argued and laughed, all while I was in that chair.

As the kids became teenagers, that room became the confrontation room. It was where we would go to talk privately with one another. The kids knew that if I asked them to go to the living room, I had something serious to discuss with them. I would sit in that chair and they would sit on the sofa opposite, as we would discuss a problem or concern together.

And, then, as, one by one, they headed off to Christian school and college, that chair became the place where I would read the Bible and pray every morning. During my busy homeschooling years, I wasn’t always able to make the time I wanted for the Lord. My time was often with the kids — teaching them to pray and to learn God’s Word. But, suddenly, one day I realized that I actually had the time to spend quietly with the Lord each day and so it was in that chair that I spent many hours reading His Word and petitioning the Lord.

Then, one day, I looked down and saw that the chair was torn.

What a sad day.

I knew I was going to have to replace it, eventually, so I started keeping my eyes open for a new recliner — a leather one this time.

The first furniture store had nothing that thrilled me. The chairs were either too soft or too hard (do I sound like Goldilocks??) or too expensive.

On a whim, I stopped at a furniture store on the way home from a soccer game. The first chair I sat in was perfect and was on sale! I sat in a few more but kept going back to the first one. Yes, that was my new chair. I purchased it and told them someone would be there to pick it up later in the week.

A few days later, my beloved green recliner was removed from my room and the new leather one was put in its place. Oh, joy!  I couldn’t wait for my devotions the next morning to sit in my new chair!

Oh, I feel foolish now. I feel foolish even sharing this story. For when I sat in that new chair it wasn’t even comfortable. I squirmed this way and that, but it just wasn’t the same. I got off of it and shifted it to the right. I tried it with the foot rest up and with it down. Nope. It just wasn’t all that comfortable. How could I have made such a mistake? I had a very difficult time concentrating on my devotions that morning.

As the day progressed, I talked myself into believing that it was just in my head and I would get used to it. After all, every piece of furniture takes some breaking in. So, with renewed diligence, I was determined to make this chair work as I sat in it the next morning. But, alas, it felt the same as the morning before. Now, what to do?

And that’s the end of the story. Because I am still not sure what I am going to do. Just get used to the chair? After all, we paid good money for it. Or bring back the old one and sell the new one at a slight loss? And while that’s a possibility, I can’t change the fact that the old one is falling apart and I am going to have to get used to a new one eventually.

There are so many thoughts that surround this incident in my life that I am having a hard time narrowing it down to just one–

1.  New isn’t always better. Sometimes we yearn for a change to happen in our life. We think “if only” or “when that happens” and then when we are finally there, it isn’t near as great as we thought it would be.

2. Sometimes change needs to occur. It isn’t pleasant or fun but it is necessary.

3. Sometimes change doesn’t need to occur but we push and push for it because we are impatient and don’t want to be labeled “stuck in the mud” or “traditional”.

4. How do we change without changing what really matters?

5. With all change comes our new normal and it doesn’t take us very long to grow used to it. I just read somewhere (and, boy, do I wish I remember exactly where!) about people’s amazing ability to get used to almost any circumstance in their lives. We start living in the new normal. I think this is the case with Evangelical Christianity. We have gotten so used to the departure from scripture, the inclusion of Catholics and Mormons under the label “Christian”, the lack of standards and morals and holiness, the feel-good and shallow worship, that we have become used to this new normal and accept it as normal. But while it may be our new normal, it isn’t anything close to biblical Christianity.

My mom mentioned yesterday, as we were driving home from the mall, that when she was a girl, it was made quite clear to her that Catholicism was not the same as Evangelical Christianity. The church taught very specifically that we do not believe the same things and that they are two separate religions (which they are). And yet, now, if you try to say that you are immediately branded as someone who causes division and disunity. Because we have gotten used to a new normal and in that new normal, we have forgotten–or choose to ignore– hundreds of years of church history. And this is tragic.

We also talked about how Christians of old were concerned about their behavior. You didn’t dare call yourself a Christian if your behavior didn’t match. And so no one assumed you were a Christian if your behavior was characterized by worldly entertainment and vices. Now, in our new normal, everything is okay and even sanctioned under the word grace. This false definition of grace will leave a lot wondering why they are still here when the rapture occurs. With true grace comes repentance and life transformation. It could not be clearer in scripture (2 Corinthians 5:17). It is a lie that we can continue in our old activities and lifestyle and be saved. And, yet, that has become normal.  See what I’m getting at here?

And here is what I’ve learned. No one wants to hear this stuff. It is negative and offensive and uncomfortable.

People may read this post but they won’t like it and they certainly won’t share it. They may even agree with it, but they won’t share it for fear of offending someone (another new “norm” we have grown used to — don’t dare offend anyone lest we be labeled or become susceptible to uncomfortable discussions).

I am weary of this new normal, quite honestly. But I do believe it is here to stay. So now we learn to live –and even thrive– in it. If we respond to this right, it could become a wonderful culture to grow in Christ.

And I go back again to God’s Word. If we know it and are studying it, then so much becomes clear that is clouded otherwise. If you want to truly thrive in this increasingly hostile culture, then study and know God’s Word. It is the only thing we have in this desert of modern Christianity. I hate to even call it Christianity because it isn’t even real Christianity. It’s some shapeless, relative, false religion that has no resemblance to Christ’s teachings whatsoever.

Do I expect this to be one of my more popular posts? No, not at all. But, please, keep your eyes open in your churches and your homes. Be discerning! Satan is using any and all means possible to deceive us and to render us ineffective for the cause of Christ. Don’t let that happen to you.

And so that is the story and my subsequent thoughts on switching a simple chair. And I don’t really even know the end of that story yet. I guess I’ll go try it again this morning and see if I can get used to a new normal!

Crossing the Barrier

young-couple-holding-hands

What is true love?

Is it the butterflies you feel in your tummy when that cute guy or gal says a few words to you?

Is it that feeling of flying after your first date with the future love of your life?

Is it the comfortable feeling you get when surrounded by family members?

Is it shown by cards, gifts, and flowers?

What is true love?

I recently heard John MacArthur say something like this —

True love can only happen when we cross the barrier of our emotions.

Wow.

Yes. That’s it.

We can’t truly love someone until we can cross the barrier of our emotions.

Our emotions can be so misleading, can’t they? They tell us we love someone when we think good things about them or have good feelings towards them. They tell us we no longer love them when we think hateful things about them or have angry feelings towards them.

And yet true love has nothing to do with emotions. Only when we cross this enormous barrier of emotions can we experience true love.

I think it may be especially hard because we have been conditioned to live our lives based on our emotions. From easy access to abortions and no-fault divorces to the feeling-driven worship in our churches — we have based almost all of our actions on our feelings. Very little value is placed on deliberate actions taken that go against our feelings. Very little value is placed on forcing our thoughts to go a different direction than our feelings take us.

And, yet…

that leads to shallow living on all accounts. And not very much love.

God doesn’t really care about how we feel as we sway to the music of the worship team. He doesn’t care how we feel when we hold the hand of our newest love. While I am sure he delights in that, his main concern is our obedience. And obedience comes at a great price.

But only with obedience (which will mean turning away from our emotions) can we truly understand what love really is.

There are many times I do not feel like I love my husband. But those feelings always pass. I cannot rely on them to be the barometer of my love for him.

Life is hard, but it is made much harder by the fact that we base so much of our lives and life-changing decisions on our feelings.

We need to cross that barrier — and, yes, it takes purposeful and diligent work to do so — to experience true love as God designed it.

 

What Kind of Driver Are You?

driver

What does how you drive say about you?

This morning I was headed into town when I came upon a tractor mowing the weeds along my side of the road. As he forced all the traffic to a single lane, my side waited as cars zipped by in the other lane. Finally, the two cars ahead of me cautiously passed the tractor. I looked ahead and saw a car pretty far off in the distance and decided to pass, as well.

As I did so, I noticed that, instead of slowing down, the car in the other lane sped quickly towards me, as if he was frustrated that I would move into his lane. Although, if he had just stayed the same pace, there would have been plenty of time for me to get around, causing him no inconvenience.

And I had to wonder…why would he be so selfish?

And I started thinking about this driving thing. Have you thought about how drivers have changed as our culture has changed?

I used to be able to merge quickly into a lane of oncoming traffic, because a friendly driver would wave me on through. But since we have become a much more me-centered culture, these friendly drivers are less and less frequent. And so I find myself sitting at the entry to the freeway or some other similar place just waiting and waiting.

As I thought about it, my own self-focused driving came to mind. Just yesterday, I was discussing something with my daughter as we drove home, totally in my own little world. I saw the girl waiting to cross the street but didn’t really think, “Oh, I should stop.”

As I passed her, I saw the lady in the car on the other side of the road give me a look of utter disgust. And I deserved it. It wasn’t until I saw that look that it sunk in—I should have stopped to let that girl cross. I muttered, “sorry”, as I passed by, but, of course, there was nothing I could do about it at that point. Because I didn’t know the girl or the driver I had just offended.

And that’s the thing about driving. For the most part, we are anonymous. And so how we drive says a lot about who we really are—

Are we selfish and just want to get where we are going?

Are we texting (or otherwise distracted), putting the lives of others at risk?

Do we think of the other drivers on the road with us?

Do we consider the pedestrians who need to cross a busy road?

Do we swear or curse when someone slow or annoying is ahead of us?

Do we tail the old man going at a snail’s pace ahead of us?

I remember a conversation I had with my brother years ago about this topic of driving. He said that while he used to get upset at other drivers while driving, one day he just made a decision–

“I wasn’t going to let another driver steal my peace.”

That phrase has stuck with me these many years. It comes to me when I am following someone who is going really slow and I’m running late.

It comes to me when someone pulls out in front of me.

I don’t always practice it, but I still think of it!

I have no idea what kind of driver you are. But let’s be sure to carry our faith into our cars with us so that even if we are anonymous we still leave a testimony of kindness and courtesy wherever we go.

 

The Snake in the Garden

garter snake

Your initial thought as you read the title of this post may be that this is some philosophical observation regarding the original snake in the original garden. The title kind of lends itself to that interpretation. But if you were looking forward to that, you will be disappointed. This particular snake was in my garden. Let me tell you the story–

It was a beautiful day and I was excited to see how my garden was doing. It had been a brutal winter –much more so than usual– so I had been keeping a close eye on my fruit plants to see what had returned (amazingly, all but a couple of the blueberry bushes survived! And, honestly, those two bushes didn’t look all that healthy before winter arrived…) I had also planted some tomatoes and peppers a few days before, so I was checking on them, as well.

I walked across my yard in anticipation — and in blessed ignorance. You see, I had never once in the years I had been gardening even seen a snake among the square foot boxes my husband had built. I was almost upon the garden, when my eye caught some movement.

The 4′ (or was it longer??) striped garter snake must have been as surprised as I was! As soon as it became aware of my presence it slid away so fast that my eyes couldn’t even follow it. At that point, I realized that I had no idea where its den was or where it regularly spends its days.

Now. This was certainly a new and rather dreadful thing to ponder. It meant that in my garden–at any moment!– I could come upon one of these detestable creatures.

Of course I knew there were a few harmless snakes about our property. This was not a surprise to me. But I did not know that they spent any time in my garden. I thought they kept themselves hidden far away from the areas where I live and work. That day I was made aware that this assumption was rather naive and demonstrated my ignorance.

And the next time I approached that garden it was with my eyes wide open and the expectation that there may be a snake there.

In fact, any time I go to the garden now, it is with a whole new outlook. No longer do I feel blissfully safe from reptiles, but, instead, I am fully aware that I may very well be surprised by one of those slithering creatures that give me the heebie-jeebies and I’d better prepare myself for it!

Ahhh–as so often happens– this incident brought an analogy readily to mind. I couldn’t help but compare this to our spiritual lives. You will often hear people say that they only want to focus on God’s love and the good things in life. Let’s just ignore Satan, demons, and anything negative. Pretend like it’s not there.

The problem with this is that just because we ignore him doesn’t mean he isn’t there. Just because we pretend he doesn’t exist, doesn’t mean he isn’t prowling about, working behind the scenes. When we are fully aware of his presence and that he is seeking to devour and destroy, we will approach our lives and ministries differently. If we live in blissful ignorance and pretend he’s not there, we become very vulnerable to his bite.

And –quite unlike a harmless garter snake bite– Satan’s bite is of the worst kind, filled with deadly poison. We can’t afford to live in ignorance but, instead, need to recognize that we are in a world where we have an enemy. Things are not all good and happy and “hunky-dory”, nor will they ever be until we reach our home in glory (Revelation 21:1-4).

The snake in my garden was a great reminder that danger lurks everywhere and just because we don’t see it, doesn’t mean it isn’t there. I’d better make sure I have my armor on so that I can withstand the arrows pointed at me (Ephesians 6:11).

2 Corinthians 2:11
2 Corinthians 11:14
I Peter 5:8
Scroll to Top