growing in christ

Why How We Live Is So Important

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Many times, as believers, we really struggle with this concept of holiness. If we are truly saved, it is something we know is required of us and so we work and strive to be more “holy”. But do we truly understand why?

I think that is a question with several answers, but one was just made very clear to me by our scripture reading this past week.

As you read the detailed description of the tabernacle, did your eyes glaze over? I have to confess that as I read all of the specifics about the Tabernacle, I found it hard to stay focused on what I was reading. In this day and age of “soundbite” information, such detail can be hard for us to read.

So why did God place so many details about the Tabernacle in His Word? That was the question my youngest daughter and I found ourselves discussing the other day.

If God gave 50+ chapters in the Old Testament to let us know His exact requirements for the place His Spirit would reside with the children of Israel in the wilderness, then it must be important. As we discussed this question, it dawned on me that it could have something to do with helping us to understand just how holy is the place His Spirit demands as a sanctuary. It gives us some insight into just how holy and awesome God is!

Now, jump with me, if you will, to the New Testament. Suddenly, personal holiness takes on a whole new meaning–

Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? (I Corinthians 6:19)

 That good thing which was committed to you, keep by the Holy Spirit who dwells in us. (2 Timothy 1:14)

For there are three that bear witness in heaven: the Father, the Word, and the Holy Spirit; and these three are one.(I John 4:7)

If, now, in this church age, we have become the place in which the Holy Spirit dwells, then our sin takes on a whole new light, doesn’t it? It becomes even more offensive and not something to brush off lightly, as we are so apt to do.

I would often ask my kids if they would take Jesus to that movie or listen to that radio station if Jesus were sitting in the car with them as they were growing up. But God is with them at all times. God, the Holy Spirit, is with them. With me. With you. At all times. We have a responsibility to live a holy and pure life so that we are a fitting place for the Holy Spirit to dwell.

If God gave all of that detail in the Old Testament showing us what He required (and it’s clear that the sacrifice of Jesus did eliminate all of the ritual and blood sacrifices of old — just read Hebrews 9) and if we read all of the specifics of gold and silver and bronze, of the colors of blue and purple and scarlet, the carvings of orange and almond blossoms, we have to understand that God demands the best.

Not perfection. Perfection isn’t an option in this sinful world. But the best, purest, most holy me I can be. Because if I believe what the Bible says then I understand that when I became a believer, His Spirit came to dwell within me.

Doesn’t that make us view even the smallest choices with much greater care? And even our “smallest” sins with much greater remorse? Doesn’t daily confession and the idea of repentance make much more sense with this insight? We not only represent a Holy God, but His Spirit dwells within us!

In this day and age of casual living, we tend to view God as our buddy and friend (and we are called His friends in John 15:14) but may we learn from our Old Testament reading that God is also holy and awesome and omnipotent. This hasn’t changed just because of Jesus’s sacrifice on the cross. And a Holy God demands a holy dwelling place. Let us not forget!

 

Please Note: I am presenting the insight and understanding that I am learning as we read through the Bible with each Thursday post, but may I encourage you to please do your own study using good resources to gain insight and grow in the Lord. I am doing my best to give biblical, solid food for thought as we read through the Bible, but I would be the first to admit that I am no theologian!

 

 

Our Undoing

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Many of us cannot fathom how Fifty Shades of Gray is accepted as normal entertainment, not only by the world, but also for many in the church. We just can’t understand.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot over the last few days. Why is something so obviously wrong embraced so eagerly by people who call themselves Christians?

I think I may have the answer.

Somewhere in the not-too-distant past, Christians decided that what we entertain ourselves with just doesn’t matter. It is considered completely separate from the rest of our spiritual lives.

I remember a conversation I had with my daughter a few years ago. She was trying hard to process the fact that so many Christians who live otherwise godly lives spend so much time watching shows and movies that are filled with all of the things that God hates and somehow have no conviction about this. And she finally suggested that perhaps entertainment is the one big blind spot in the lives of most Christians today.

I think she may be on to something there. For what other explanation could there possibly be to explain how Christians would fill their minds with such filth and call it okay?

Sure, Fifty Shades of Gray is a little out there for most of us reading this blog, but do you honestly think God hates S&M any more than He hates adultery and fornication? Or the glorification of theft and illicit drugs? Really? Or what about homosexuality? Or sorcery? Or crude and profane language? Or violence for no reason? The God of the Bible hates all sin. And yet most Christians will put any or all of the above before their eyes on a regular basis and call it okay.

Actually, we might wonder why there is such a to-do about Fifty Shades. We watch just about everything else and call it okay, don’t we?

I am so excited that so many of you have joined the Bible Challenge this year. I love hearing all that you are learning in God’s Word. We know that His Word never returns void (Isaiah 55:11). And I am sure you are finding out, like me, that Hebrews 4:12 is true.

But I do have a concern as we continue on in our challenge.

Imagine with me, if you will, an elderly lady knitting a beautiful sweater. She is carefully crafting it for her only granddaughter and it is in an intricate design of flowers and hearts. She has spent hours and hours on it.

The curious thing is that after she has knitted for a few hours, she spends the next few hours undoing all that she has done. Not because there is anything wrong in her work, but because she just loves to undo her knitting as much as she loves to knit.

Sound strange and completely unrealistic?

Of course it does. No person in their right mind undoes so much hard work. And, yet, I propose that many of us do just that by how we entertain ourselves.

Why do we believe that we can watch, read, and listen to anything we feel like and yet think we will grow by leaps and bounds towards the Lord? Unless we use very careful discernment, we are going to undo every good thing that has come from our Bible reading and study.

Look, I am not going to give you a list of acceptable entertainment. This is not about a list of rules but, instead, about a heart that wants to please the Father in all we do (I Corinthians 10:31).

And I just want to shout out a warning to any of you who are giving effort to reading and studying your Bibles (in any way, not just through the G4L Bible Challenge)–

If you leave your Bible and then go fill your mind with ungodly music, movies, tv shows, or books, don’t expect this to be a year of great growth. The Christian life is about learning God’s Word and biblical truth but it’s also very much about living a holy, pure life before God. Both are required for a life that would glorify God. Giving our time to learning God’s Word and then filling our minds with ungodly entertainment could be likened to the elderly lady with the sweater. It’s the undoing of so much of the good work being wrought in our lives through God’s Word.

Unfinished Houses

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As we traveled through the Ukrainian countryside, I took in the scenery with amazement. For there, dotting the countryside in great numbers, were unfinished houses. Some of these brick structures were only half-built, but most looked almost finished, slowly fading in the Ukrainian sunlight as they waited for owners to fill them with life.

When I expressed my wonderment at this unusual sight– for there were many of these houses, not just a few– whoever I asked just shrugged their shoulders and said that the owners ran out of money. Apparently, after the Soviet Union broke apart, these bricks and other building supplies were available at deeply discounted prices and so lots of people started building these beautiful homes. But a functioning house is much more than the lumber and bricks of its shell. And so funds ran out and the owners walked away.

Because they did not count the cost.

I was reminded of this incident a few weeks ago in our Sunday School class. We are doing the Radical series by David Platt and he was talking about Christianity as Jesus defines it in the Bible.  It is very different from the cultural Christianity that demands nothing– that requires no sacrifice– that only needs a prayer to declare oneself as officially in the Lamb’s Book of Life. He used the following quote by John Stott. Actually, this is a bigger portion than he used, but it’s all so good, I wasn’t sure what to eliminate–

Jesus never concealed the fact that his religion included a demand as well as an offer. Indeed, the demand was as total as the offer was free. If he offered men his salvation, he also demanded their submission. He gave no encouragement whatever to thoughtless applicants for discipleship. He brought no pressure to bear on any inquirer. He sent irresponsible enthusiasts away empty. Luke tells of three men who either volunteered, or were invited, to follow Jesus; but no one passed the Lord’s test. The rich young ruler, too, moral, earnest and attractive, who wanted eternal life on his own terms, went away sorrowful, with his riches intact but with neither life nor Christ as his possession…The Christian landscape is strewn with the wreckage of derelict, half built towers—the ruins of those who began to build and were unable to finish. For thousands of people still ignore Christ’s warning and undertake to follow him without first pausing to reflect on the cost of doing so. The result is the great scandal of Christendom today, so called “nominal Christianity.” In countries to which Christian civilization has spread, large numbers of people have covered themselves with a decent, but thin, veneer of Christianity. They have allowed themselves to become somewhat involved, enough to be respectable but not enough to be uncomfortable. Their religion is a great, soft cushion. It protects them from the hard unpleasantness of life, while changing its place and shape to suit their convenience. No wonder the cynics speak of hypocrites in the church and dismiss religion as escapism…The message of Jesus was very different. He never lowered his standards or modified his conditions to make his call more readily acceptable. He asked his first disciples, and he has asked every disciple since, to give him their thoughtful and total commitment. Nothing less than this will do”
John R.W. Stott, Basic Christianity

I guess the deeper my relationship grows with Jesus Christ, the more I realize that much of what passes today as Christianity isn’t really true Christianity. This is such an unpopular message. And I can understand why! Because true Christianity costs us something. Yes, it’s a free gift, but it costs everything. But when our hearts are changed by the power of the Holy Spirit, our lives are transformed. This isn’t a begrudging obedience to God’s laws — a list of do’s and don’t’s that plague us and keep us from having any fun.

Instead our stone hearts start beating with love for the Father and following His will not only becomes a pleasure, but our main priority.

This brand of Christianity sounds so foreign to most of us. Even as I write, I realize this. And I wonder– what does this mean for all of us in this day and age? How does this kind of Christianity look in a Western culture where indulgence and comfort reign supreme?

All I know is that I am not walking away from an unfinished house. I will keep working and building until I die or my Lord returns. Yes, it’s hard. And yes, there is sacrifice required. Great sacrifice. There is turning away from the world, being unpopular with people, doing what’s right at all costs. It means we love and forgive even when we don’t feel like it. It means we stand alone if we have to. And that our time and resources are no longer our own. This does not sound all that appealing, does it? But when we read in the New Testament, we can’t help but conclude that this is what it’s all about.This is what Jesus demands of His disciples.

And, honestly, the costs for us are really nothing compared to so many of our Christian brothers and sisters. I can’t help but think of them as they give up homes, loved ones, and even their lives for the sake of Christ. I can’t help but wonder how comfortable, indulged America would respond in the same situation. Oh, may we be found faithful if (or shall I say when?) that happens to us!

If you have started your house of faith but are ready to walk away, please don’t. If the enemy of your soul is throwing arrows and you are just so tired, hang in there. Open your Bible and read Ephesians 6, put on your armor, and beg the Lord for strength to keep going. Let’s keep our eyes focused on eternity instead of the here and now. And, remember, God’s great power is shown best through our great weakness. You aren’t alone. Don’t give up. Keep building.

 

Why didn’t I ever see this before?

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I can’t imagine why I never noticed this before. I have read the story of Joseph and his brothers many times. And yet, I had never considered this one thing.

You see, I have always viewed this story from Joseph’s point of view. I have thought of how it would feel to be him—lonely, despised, framed, imprisoned. I have admired and respected his strong stand for God as he suffered many persecutions and rightly so.

But I missed one really important point. Until today.

When Joseph’s brothers traveled to Egypt for food they were completely unaware that their brother would be the one giving them food. But we know as we read the story how it ends. And today I realized that God took something completely evil and not only rewarded Joseph but rewarded the evil-doers! God used the brothers’ gross sin against Joseph and actually turned it into something good not only for Joseph but for the brothers, as well.

I just never thought about that before.

I mean we often trust God to use the evil, hurtful things against us for good, but I guess I never thought about the fact that God can take something I did that was sinful to bring about something good for me.

Doesn’t this give us a different perspective about our past?

I guess as I think about this, it does make sense. For some of us have had the same thing happen to us—

-Out of sexual immorality came a beautiful child.

-Out of a broken marriage or a stay in jail came eternal salvation.

-Out of a rebellious youth, where we chose to marry an unbeliever, God drew us to Himself and rescued both for His glory.

We have seen these occur. And we see how God plucks some (not all) from the mire and mess they have made and blesses them.

I don’t know the hearts of the brothers. We know by some of their conversation that selling Joseph has weighed very heavily on their hearts for a very long time. It would seem that they are extremely sorry about what they did. (Genesis 42:21-24)

And so could it be that God will not choose to bless us until we come to a point of repentance, where we admit our guilt?

And, once again, we come upon that word humility. If there is anything I have learned through my Old Testament readings it is how much God hates pride!

And so, let us remember that God can use even our most wicked sin and turn it into something good for us. But, first, we need to have a heart of repentance and humility.

Now, the following is specifically for my Bible Challenge readers–

I hope that you are sticking with me on the Bible Reading Challenge. By now, it may be getting rough. You have read things that don’t make any sense and you are struggling. Or life has happened and you are behind a couple of (or more) days. I want to encourage you to keep going! You will be so glad you did! I promise you this. I also want to encourage you to focus more on what you do understand and the lessons you are learning from these stories than on what you don’t understand. You won’t understand everything but that’s okay. Just keep reading. Remember we are reading to know and understand God better–it’s not about us or our enjoyment of what we are reading! It may be helpful for you to read (or re-read) the most common Bible Study Trap, at this point.

Thighs are jiggly in the real world

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I saw a video on Facebook the other day that showed real women exercising. Their bodies weren’t perfect, their thighs jiggled, most had a little tummy, and they broke a real sweat. They looked like they were having a great time. It was a commercial put out by a foreign athletic company for the same reason that the Dove soap commercial came out a few years ago with Jamie Lee Curtis–to present the truth about women. And it was beautiful.

Sometimes I get so weary of trying to be perfect, don’t you? We are constantly barraged by photos on our computers, tablets, and smartphones that tell us we do not measure up. We’re not skinny enough, our houses aren’t beautiful enough, our kids aren’t perfect enough. There is always this elusive, impossible standard that hangs over our heads.

That standard didn’t really exist even 25 years ago. It was just starting to affect us. Now it can control us if we aren’t careful. A big problem in our pinterest-facebook-instagram world is the standards and expectations we set for ourselves because of the pictures we see.

It reminds me of a blog I landed on a few weeks ago. It was a young mom’s home and she had taken some holiday pictures of it that were gorgeous! She obviously has an eye for decorating and design. But even as I scrolled down through, I felt inadequate.

Now, don’t get me wrong– I don’t think there is anything necessarily wrong with posting beautiful pictures. Our world is a much more creative place now that the online world is filled with blogs and Pinterest. But, oh, how careful we need to be as we surf the online world.

Life is so much more than the pictures you see on social media. It’s full of jiggles and cellulite. It’s full of dirt and messes. It’s okay if our houses don’t look like they belong on a blog post. It’s okay if we have a little tummy pooch. Who in the world ever gave us the impression that’s it’s not? And why do we listen to them?

This post is not about losing weight or enjoying interior design but, instead, about trying to be someone we are not because of pictures we see. It’s about young, healthy moms who think they are overweight because they don’t look like the single girl they graduated with ten years ago. It’s about being discontent with our body shapes and our possessions. It’s a vicious cycle, isn’t it?

And if we get into that cycle of discontentment, all gratitude is gone. And without gratitude, we lose sight of our many blessings — a critical part of a healthy relationship with God.

We need to be careful of the subtle call of discontentment and view it for what it is and then take necessary steps to change it. Because life is just too short to try to be something we aren’t. Let’s instead live lives of joy and gratitude and turn to God’s Word for our standards of living. Because, in the end, the fruits of the spirit and a godly life will be so much more important than any external change we may have made.

I Timothy 4:8 For bodily exercise profits a little, but godliness is profitable for all things, having promise of the life that now is and of that which is to come.

 

 

Why Waiting Is Sometimes the Best Option

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I think I may have done the same thing. It’s hard to know, isn’t it? But if my husband would have been promised heirs as numerous as the dust and I very obviously couldn’t have children, I may have tried to fix it, too. Because that’s what we humans do. We try to fix uncomfortable, inconvenient, unpleasant situations.

Only sometimes –many times– it backfires.

I couldn’t help but think of this as I read Genesis 16. If you are doing the Bible Challenge this year, you will have recently read (or will soon read) about Sarai giving her maid, Hagar, to Abram to bear children for her.  In a culture like theirs we can’t conceive of giving our husband another woman, but that was a different time and place and Sarai was obviously desperate for a baby. So instead of waiting, she took matters into her own hands. As we read on, we see that her decision to do that not only caused heartache for her and her family, but caused strife and anguish for generations to come. She took matters into her own hands and many, many people suffered –and continue to suffer–because of it. For Ishmael is considered to be the ancestor of the Arab nation and this seems to be the birthplace of the historical strife between them and the Jews.

It is easy for me to sit back and point a finger at Sarai. How could she be so hasty and foolish to think she could fix a problem that only God could fix? And, yet, how often I am guilty of the same thing.

I have been known to rush in and try to “fix” my husband and my kids on many occasions. I have tried to fix situations at church and in my extended family. These efforts are usually not helpful and I have been slowly learning to back away and pray instead.

Of course, sometimes, God would lead us to confront someone (Matthew 1815-17) or to pull them from the fire (Jude 1:22-23) but this should only be done with much humility and after much prayer. There is a place for thinking outside of the box to solve problems and giving our energy to changing our own bad habits but human efforts should never be done impulsively or out of desperation. They should never take precedence over God’s will. And we should never, ever try to change someone else’s bad habits unless they ask for our help. Because I have learned that this is a completely fruitless and utterly hopeless task.

Of course, this is so easy to write about but much harder to put in place. For example–

The other day, I found myself growing extremely frustrated that once again my floor was filled with muddy footprints. I found myself in a bit of a panic, as Bible Study was going to be taking place in my home shortly and my family seemed to have no care about this, but continued to walk across my clean floor with their wet boots on. And so I took matters into my own hands and started yelling. Yeah, like that’s going to fix it. In my experience, yelling has never fixed anything. So why do I keep doing it?

Thankfully, this pathetic effort at trying to fix something in my life in the wrong way only humbled me and reminded me of my great sinfulness. I was absolutely mortified to be yelling at my family just before my friends walked in my house. And instead of fixing the situation, I had just made it worse.

Which is what usually happens when I try to fix something without praying and considering the ramifications beforehand.

And this was just a wrong response to a muddy floor– a tiny blip in the timeline of my life with no long-lasting consequences. I can’t imagine how Sarai must have felt after she tried to take matters in her own hands. A lifetime of strife would follow and she was to blame. Taking matters into our own hands can have minor consequences or they can have major ones, but there are always consequences.

And so perhaps we would be better off if we would wait quietly, taking time to consider and pray, bringing our baffling problems and unsolvable puzzles to the Lord instead of trying to impulsively fix them ourselves.

And the wonderful thing about doing this is that so many times, the Lord proves Himself so faithful in these situations! Even just recently, a friend shared how God worked in an absolutely astounding and surprising way to solve an impossible situation. For it’s only when we can’t solve it ourselves that we really see God work, just as He did in Sarai’s life by giving her baby Isaac. For, with God, nothing is impossible.

 

What Kind of Advertisement Are You?

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Have you ever seen an unfit, overweight personal trainer? How much confidence would you have in them helping you reach your goals? I am reminded of a shop I was in that had a prominent display for some magic weight loss formula sitting on the counter. Staring up at me were photos of smiling, super-fit people and words that held incredible promises for a changed body. My eyes inevitably swung to the shop owner.  It seemed to me that if this wonderful weight loss product worked miracles, this owner would be living proof. But that was not the case.

And I’d be lying if I didn’t say that it rather undermined my confidence in trying that particular product.

And I guess that is exactly how it is when we Christians try to tell people how wonderful Jesus is, all the while standing in a filthy mire of our own making. We don’t trust, we don’t forgive, we love the world, we worry, we use foul and crude language, we walk away from distasteful and unpleasant situations, we lie, we cheat, we quarrel, we envy, we betray, we complain incessantly, we have a bad work ethic, and our entertainment choices are just like everybody else’s. In other words, it would appear as if Jesus just doesn’t make a bit of a difference. Why would we expect someone to want what we have?

Of course, sometimes Christians fail. That is a fact of life. There are lovely, godly people who are divorced, who have spiritually lost their children, and who have had abortions. I am not talking about the past. And I am not talking about the flesh that continues to plague us even after salvation. We do slip in our language sometimes. We go to a movie and realize half-way through that this was definitely a wrong choice. We struggle through forgiving. But the key word is struggle— sincere believers are continually fighting their sin.

What I am talking about are the patterns of sin that are so ingrained in us, we aren’t even aware of them.

What kind of advertisement are we for our Savior? Seriously. Let’s stop for just a minute and think about our last 24 hours. If someone saw where we went, the words we spoke, the entertainment we set before our eyes and ears, and the food and drink we consumed, would they give evidence that we are a follower of Jesus Christ?

There is so much talk about “God looking on the heart”– and so he does–but that doesn’t excuse sinful actions, for out of a pure heart comes a holy life. We certainly do not need works to be saved but our works our evidence that we are saved. (See I John 2:3-6; 2 Peter 1:5-9; Matthew 7:16-20)

You can have righteous actions without a right heart, but you cannot have a right heart without righteous actions. It’s impossible.

I hope and pray that I am a good example of a believer. I mess up so often– especially at home. Many times I don’t even feel qualified to be writing. And yet God leads me on and continues to nudge me to keep writing.

I just know I don’t want anyone to wonder at my funeral whether or not I was a believer. I don’t want any “I think so’s” or “she said a prayer when she was little but…”

Instead, I want people to say with confidence that I was someone who followed hard after God. I am certainly far, far from perfection. Each day brings me deeper and fuller knowledge of just how far, but I want to be going the right direction, without question and without wavering.

I hope that you want the same to be said of you. Because it is only through this that we can make any difference at all. After all, what good are we if we look just like everyone else? If our decisions are made from our feelings and emotions, just like everyone else? If we don’t handle life’s tough situations differently, if we don’t bring integrity to the work place, or love and kindness to our relationships, then we are like that shop owner. We are advertising something that obviously isn’t working.

 

 

What If I Don’t “Get” The Bible?

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People will sometimes share their hesitation in reading scripture because they just find the Bible uninteresting or so hard to understand. Even if we don’t say it out loud, these thoughts often lurk in the back of our minds, casting a shadow over our best intentions to read the Word.

I’ve been there myself. I, too, have struggled with disinterest, lack of comprehension, and terrible guilt about not loving God’s Word as I ought to as a believer. My lack of love for God’s Word was a big shadow over my Christian life for many years.

And so I started praying about it–asking specifically that God would give me a love for His Word.

And He answered that prayer.

It wasn’t instant and sometimes I still struggle, but He truly has instilled in me a love for scripture. It is just one of the many ways God has proven Himself faithful to me. I am not special. If you ask Him, He will do the same thing for you. There are a few things we can do to prepare our hearts, though, to be receptive to the Word.

We first (and most importantly) need to recognize our sinfulness and be sure to have a humble and submissive spirit when we read. This can take some work in this world of “rights”, with the great focus always on “me”. It’s not how we have been trained to think. I have also found in my own life that it is a purposeful choice that I have to make almost daily. I have not found humility something that I master and then can move on. Pride and selfishness sneak their way in so subtly.

We also need to bring a spirit of obedience– being ready to obey even the things that make us uncomfortable or that may require sacrifice. This can be very difficult and I can truly understand why so many people struggle with this and may even stop reading. Stepping out of our comfort zone and giving up the things we love is never easy– for any reason. But if you are willing to do this, you will not walk away from your Bible reading unchanged. Slowly, but surely, God uses His Word to transform us and make us more Christlike.

I would also like to add here– and this is really important– I do not understand every passage I read in the Bible. There are many moments where I am scratching my head, really puzzled over what a particular passage is saying or why something happened the way it did.

I know at this point, skeptics and scoffers would call me naive and perhaps even ridiculous to keep reading. But here’s the thing–I am okay if I don’t understand everything about God. In fact, if I did understand everything, I would really be bringing Him down to my level– putting Him inside a box of my own finite and limited understanding. The fact that I can’t understand everything is okay with me because I understand enough. And, quite frankly, I have to agree with Mark Twain, who said–

“It ain’t those parts of the Bible that I can’t understand that bother me, it is the parts I do understand.”

I agree. I think many times we are so disconcerted and uncomfortable about what we can understand, that we often use the excuse we can’t understand it as a reason to just give up.

And I will state right here– that is the easier choice. Yes, it is. It is easier to just say we can’t understand it and put it aside. At least it is easier if you are looking only at right now.

At this present moment.

But what I just wish I could help you understand is the great peace and joy and comfort that comes with submitting your life to Christ in all ways, first and foremost by spending time getting to know Him in the Word. I cannot even begin to tell you how God has used His Word in my life.

Again, let me just confirm once more — I am not anything special. I am just a middle-aged mom from Small-town, America. Let me also make sure you understand that I still fight sin and my selfish desires every single day. This is not about me but about what God is doing in me. He can do the same thing for you. I know He can. If you will submit and obey Him. And the first start to that is by getting into His Word.

I am going to pray that this is the year you are given the faith and the courage to pick up your Bible and read it. Really read and study it. If you do, I can promise you that you will never be the same.

Try a Growing4Life Challenge (see menu at the top of this page). All of the challenges can be used during any year. Or try a 2-year plan. Or an inductive study of a single book. Or just take a book of the Bible and read it for 30 days straight.

But do something. I can promise you that you will not be sorry.

Knowing When to Disengage

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Christmas is a wonderful time for holiday parties and family reunions. But many of us dread these get-togethers because of the inevitable disagreements and heated discussions that are sure to take place. For some of us, it takes a lot of joy out of the holiday season. I think all of us have had disagreements at one time or other with people. The sin nature we are born with makes it impossible for us all to get along 24/7. Even Christians. Perhaps it is even harder for us because we know that we should get along!

So what happens when you just can’t see eye to eye with someone?  I am still growing in this area but I have learned a few things.

First, it is best to ask a few questions–

Does this really matter? Will I care in 50 years? 10 years? Tomorrow?

If I don’t get my own way in this, what will happen?

If I do get my own way, what will it cost me?

If it really doesn’t matter, then it may be time to back down. I am still working on this, but the Lord has really been teaching me. Why argue over something that happened 20 years ago? My memory is terrible and I’ve learned that I am wrong at least 90% of the time.

It is also good to consider the ramifications of winning and losing an argument. We may “win”, but in the process lose respect. And we may lose and find that it doesn’t matter at all.

We can answer these questions quickly and easily in our head to see if we should disengage. Think about all the little stuff that starts arguments and end up turning into grudges that often last a lifetime. Seriously. Families, churches, and work cultures are destroyed over the silliest things.

Does it really matter? Asking this question has really helped me with the inane, unimportant disagreements.

But what about the topics that really do matter? How do we handle debates and discussions we have regarding religion, politics, entertainment, how to raise kids, or treat elderly parents? These conversations encompass abortion, homosexuality, gun control, education, and racism. And we haven’t even mentioned the long-standing disagreements over various biblical doctrines and theology. Let’s face it–there are a lot of things that truly do matter in life. And many of us have very strong opinions about these really important issues. Now what?

We need to consider two things as we take part in these deeper, more philosophical, discussions–

1. How am I presenting myself in this disagreement? What tone am I using? Am I growing frustrated? If you find that your words have become arrogant and rude and the discussion is growing heated, then it is time to step back and disengage yourself from the conversation. We can quickly ruin our Christian testimony by how we handle these situations.

2. Will I change this person’s mind? If the person is adamantly arguing against creation or the right to life or against some other clear principle from God’s Word and you see no softening of the heart and absolutely no interest in your point of view, then it’s time to disengage and pray instead. Never discount prayer. Even the hardest heart can be changed. But it won’t be by you or me. Only God can change a heart. Start praying and always be ready for opportunities that may open for a good, healthy discussion in the future. You just never know when one will be dropped in your lap!

I do offer one word of caution. It is so critical that we look to God’s Word and see what He has to say on these issues. Of course, not all things are crystal clear in scripture, but our opinions should always be drawn first and foremost from the principles within God’s Word or they can do great, long-term damage. Consider Karl Marx or Charles Darwin for just a moment. The strong opinions of these men, drawn from wrong premises, have affected the lives of millions and millions of people in a very negative way. It is so very important that our opinions are based on the Word of God and not drawn from our own human experiences or emotions.

And one final–but extremely important–thought. If we find ourselves in one of these heated discussions, let’s try to assume that the other person may not truly understand just how hurtful their tone sounded or how angry their words were and extend grace. I try to offer this grace to the other person because I know that sometimes I am misunderstood, too, and I hope that people will extend the same grace towards me.

So this holiday season, let’s try to anticipate our family reunions and work parties with great joy, remembering that they do not need to be dominated by unpleasant conversations and heated debates. Let’s disengage ourselves before we sin and instead be a bearer of peace and selflessness this holiday season. And, by all means, let us offer grace and mercy to those who offend us. For that is exactly what the Christ Child did for us, after all.

 

 I Corinthians 13:4-7 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Waiting for “Just Right”

wildflower planting form Jeff Fitlow5

I could feel the socks sinking further down into my boots with each step. About five minutes into my walk, my socks were big lumps underneath my feet. Great. I looked up and saw a bench in the distance and decided I would sit down and try to pull them up as tightly as you can pull ankle socks up, all the while reminding myself that this is exactly why you don’t wear ankle socks with boots.

I got them back to their original positions and tentatively took a few steps. I thought I should be good for a few minutes, but I quickly realized that I was wrong. They were back in their undesired position before I could walk even a half minute down the path.

At this point I had a decision to make. I had three options. I could–

A) Remove the sock.

B) Let them remain uncomfortably wadded at the bottom of my boots.

C) Just stay where I was for the remainder of my days.

Obviously, “C” was not a viable option– although many of us take this option in real-life scenarios, which I’ll explain if you’ll just stay with me a few more minutes here. But back to my options–  I was left with A or B. The ground was wet and muddy, with nowhere to sit or lean in sight, making option A a bit perilous, so I settled for option B.

Interestingly enough, by the time I was approaching my house, I realized that I had totally forgotten about the discomfort. My thoughts had taken me elsewhere and I could enjoy the walk even with lumps in my boots.

And I realized that it’s ok. It is ok to walk and not have everything be “just right”.

I have brought this thought process with me to many challenges in my life. It has to be just right for me to work at losing weight, to write a book, to have my quiet time. We all do it. We won’t leave a miserable job until we are forced to, go to church until our spouse joins us, or stick to a budget until it feels like we have enough money. We are waiting for that person to apologize before we forgive, we are waiting for our families to be perfect, before we will change our own attitudes, and we are waiting for our kids to like us, before we will put discipline into place. The interesting thing is that the thing we are waiting to do is often something that would improve our life tremendously.

And I wonder. Is “just right” a trap to keep us from pleasing our heavenly father and living the best life possible while here on earth? Does it keep us stymied in a place of discontent and dissatisfaction, while we wait for our circumstances to come to a point where the thing we want to do will be easy?

How stuck we get in wrong thinking.

This is the time when many of us are starting to think of New Year’s Resolutions and beginning over again. If we are young we enthusiastically set new goals. If middle-age has set in we are, most likely, remembering the days when we used to do that and have caved in to the futility of goal-setting.

But perhaps this is the year. This could be the year that you lose the weight, develop a regular quiet time or read through the Bible (I can help with that here!) or change jobs. Perhaps this is the year that you will create a budget and stick to it. Or organize your photos. Or start cooking for your family. Or forgive.

I don’t know what you are waiting to do. But what I do know is that if you wait for “just right” it will never come. I know this because I’ve been waiting for it for a long time and just when one thing improves another thing rears its ugly head, demanding attention. That is the way of life. We cannot allow it to keep us from growing as a Christian or as a person. We cannot choose Option C, remaining where we are forever. We’d like to choose that because it is comfortable there. The other options take work and we don’t want to work. But Option C isn’t really an option, is it? Because there is no standing still in life. If we aren’t moving forward, then we are sliding backwards.

Perhaps Paul says it best–

Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Therefore let us, as many as are mature, have this mind; and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal even this to you.

Here Paul is talking about moving forward in maturing in Christ Jesus. But many of our goals will help us do that, won’t they? Controlling our appetites, teaching our children to obey, forgiving, being organized or sticking to a budget (which shows that we are a good steward of our material possessions and time) are all good steps to take as we strive to grow as believers.

I think my walk helped me realize that I can still move forward with a goal, even if everything isn’t lined up just the way I think it should be. Sure, my goal or the change I want to make may require a little more creativity, but that’s okay! In fact, it may even be more rewarding that way. Let’s not give up trying to change. Let’s not swallow the lie that things will never change. With some perseverance, through the work of the Holy Spirit, we can change. So get busy making a few goals. Go. Do it now.

 

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