Family – Page 18 – Growing 4 Life

I once was blind, but now I see!

1 Comment / February 18, 2013 February 18, 2013

Since my mother was a little girl she has been almost blind. She was quite unable to see or do much of anything without the aid of her eyeglasses. Somewhere during my childhood she got contact lenses and that made it more convenient. But the bottom line was that, unless she had some correction for her eyes, she only saw dark, undefined shapes.

But then a few months ago, she had the opportunity to get Lasik surgery. And I had the privilege of taking her to the appointment for her first eye. My daughter and I went for breakfast together while we waited for the surgeon to work his miracle in about an hour. When we returned we only waited for a few minutes before I was called back to see my mom in recovery.

As I entered the room I saw her sitting there with a clear bubble placed over her eye. She just kept saying, “This is amazing! This is amazing!”

Even with the bubble on, she could see incredibly clearly. She had gone from seeing only a dark, undefined, muddled world to seeing the whole world clearly!

What a great picture of what happens when we get saved. When we repent of our sins and are transformed by His glorious grace–only then are we given “spiritual sight”.

Matthew 13:16-17 puts it this way: “But blessed are your eyes for they see, and your ears for they hear;for assuredly, I say to you that many prophets and righteous men desired to see what you see, and did not see it, and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.“

While some things remain a mystery, we are given the gift of spiritual insight when we turn our lives over to Jesus Christ. Sure, it is not always an instant gift. But God gradually opens our eyes to the treasure of His Word and it becomes a bottomless well of wisdom and an incredible help for life.

But our unbelieving friends don’t understand. They mock us and they make decisions that destroy their lives and we just don’t understand why.

But if we stop and think for a moment, we do know why. They see darkly, unclearly. They don’t know what we do. And that means that, instead of harshly judging them, we should pray for them.

They are not living by the same rule book as you and I are. It seems so basic and yet we Christians seem to have a hard time understanding this.

If you got saved as an adult, you probably understand this so much better than me. You truly experienced a transformation. You know exactly what it means to live in blindness and then have your spiritual eyes opened upon your salvation. While I experienced a transformation as a child, it was much less dramatic.

This is why we should not point fingers of judgment at the world. They don’t get it. They really don’t. That is because they can’t SEE. They have not had spiritual surgery.

Today, let’s mourn–and pray– for our lost family and friends who are honestly unable to see the Truth. And let’s express our humble thanks to the Lord for this undeserved gift of spiritual sight. Only when we are saved can we understand these amazing words:

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound!

that saved a wretch like me

I once was lost, but now am found

Was blind, but now I see!

Heart Hints

Leave a Comment / February 14, 2013 February 14, 2013

So it is February 14, the day we celebrate as Valentine’s Day. Some of us love this holiday. Many of us hate it. Some of us just want to ignore it. But no matter how you feel about the holiday, it is always appropriate to show how much you love someone. So, I thought I would lighten up the blog today a bit and share a few “heart hints” for us to consider.

1. Life is so short. Let’s enjoy and appreciate EVERY MINUTE we are given with the one we love. So often our focus turns instead to the things we don’t like or the stuff that is irritating. Let’s choose instead to be grateful.

2. True love isn’t always nice. Every so often we have to tell someone we love really difficult things. Sure, we need to say it in a loving, kind way, but sometimes no matter how you wrap it, it will sound harsh. But true love tells the truth.

3. Love is just downright hard sometimes. And for my single readers with their (unrealistic) dreams– let me dash them right now: no one rides off into the sunset to their own personal perfect kingdom. The knight’s armor grows rusty, the horse grows old, and the castle is drafty and damp. (I’m telling you the truth because I love you, even thought I know it may sound harsh!) But can we really experience all that love can be if it’s never hard?

4. One of the best places to be in the whole world is in the arms of the man or woman who loves you with all their heart and has proven it over and over again, in spite of your insensitivity and selfishness and big mouth and demanding requests…you fill in the rest of the sentence. Now that is the kind of love that long, happy marriages are made of. (yes, I know I just ended in a preposition, but sometimes it just is the best way to say something!)

5. Love has to look beyond the present pain. When we are going through a bad time, I try to remember how I felt when I fell in love with my husband. Or to our future hopes and dreams. If we get locked into the present and dwell on it, we tend to grow further and further apart. It’s important to keep a broader focus than just that moment.

6.It’s never out of fashion to let someone know you love them. If you aren’t normally a Valentine’s Day gift buyer, well, switch it up this year and go buy your wife or husband a gift! It doesn’t have to be expensive, but just something to show them how much they mean to us. Most of us end up in a rut and we forget to show our spouses just how much we appreciate them.

7. The stages of love are so exciting and such a gift from God! Young love is full of that initial excitement of wanting to be together all of the time, discovering the other person. And then, after marriage, we move into adjusting to living together and learning to give and take. After the kids come, we fall into a routine and have to work a little harder not to take each other for granted and to keep the romance alive. And then the kids grow up and start their own lives and we get to really enjoy one another’s company again. We are comfortable with each other and look forward to spending time together. Each of these stages has its blessings. We need to enjoy them for what they are.

8. It’s important to show love throughout the year with hugs and (real) kisses, holding hands, and with words of love and appreciation. This is especially important during that kid stage, when it is just so easy to lose touch with one another in the circus of busyness surrounding you.

9. Be careful of expectations. I have made this mistake over and over again (my poor husband). I get my hopes up for a special present or date and then when it isn’t up to my expectations I feel let down. I am learning not to have such high expectations. This applies to any relationship in life, not just husband and wife (I have done the same thing for Mother’s Day).

10. Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.Love never fails.* Oh, to love like this! If #10 was the only heart hint on this list it would be enough.

So there are ten things to think about today. And, please remember, I’m learning about love and marriage as I live my life, just like you, so please feel free to add your own heart hints in the comment section. I know you have learned valuable things, too, and I would love to hear them!

*I Corinthians 13:4-8

The Cardinal Rule of Confrontation

2 Comments / February 11, 2013 February 11, 2013

I was a little put out. One of my daughters had been one of the only children not invited to a birthday party among a group of my Christian friends. As I shared my irritation with a friend (mistake #1, I might add), she encouraged me to confront the other mother. After all, Matthew 18:15-17 says if we have a grievance we are to go to that person and share our offense.

But I dragged my feet. Was this a Matthew 18 issue? Sure I was upset. Yes, my daughter’s feelings had been hurt. But was this worthy of a confrontation? Had this mother really “sinned against me”?

Matthew 18 has to do with someone sinning against you. It is not about someone not inviting your child to a party, or your fellow committee member not liking your plan, or a friend bypassing you and turning to someone else for advice. It’s not about the coach not giving your child enough playing time or someone buying something you think they can’t afford.

Look, is there a place for some of these conversations? Absolutely. But not in the context of confrontation.

As I contemplated my situation all those years ago, I came to this conclusion about confrontation:

If I can pinpoint how this person has sinned (and therefore offended God) using scripture, then I need to consider biblical confrontation. If not, then it is probably wise to check my own heart and see if I am not the person who is sinning.

For example, going back to that party, I was offended. But why?

Because my daughter wasn’t important enough for the little girl to invite to her birthday party. Was that a sin on her mother’s part?

Nope. Not at all.

No, the sin was on me. My pride had been hurt and I was placing that before a godly relationship with a Christian sister. Oh, working through this didn’t come easy. But I have learned that if I am hurt or offended, it is wise to wait a few days and to spend some time in prayer, asking God to reveal the state of my heart.

Now, most of us prefer not to ever confront someone and so we ignore Matthew 18 altogether. Instead we gossip and mark the other person as our “un-friend”. We never give them another chance, but, instead, write them off for life.

But perhaps the same rule applies: Did the person really sin? Or did they simply offend me?

So many broken relationships. So many hurt hearts.

As much as it is up to us, we need to just get over it.

Life isn’t perfect. People aren’t perfect. Let’s move on in life. After all, we ourselves are not without our offensive moments, are we? And if there is sin, well, then we’d better obey scripture and confront in a biblical manner.

All these years later, I don’t think that other mother ever knew the hurt that resulted from that missing invitation. I worked through it and we continued our friendship like it never happened.

I have found this rule to be a great one to follow. But, of course, it only works if you are committed to not holding grudges in your heart. But that’s a subject for another day.

The Death of a Friendship

8 Comments / February 4, 2013 June 11, 2013

This post has been sitting in draft mode for at least six months. It is rather difficult to post because of the very vulnerable feelings I have chosen to share. I have also hesitated to post it because I don’t want anyone to think that I am pointing a finger at my old friend. I’m not. However, because I have talked to so many other women who have gone through similar situations, I felt I must share this sometime. That time is today. I hope that there is at least one other person out there who receives comfort and hope from reading what I am going to share.

So here we go–

“This friendship is taking too much work and I just can’t deal with you right now,” were the icy words issuing forth from the mouth of my best friend of fifteen years.

I felt my heart sink deep within as I tried to comprehend her words. I knew that our friendship was on rocky ground, which was why I had requested we meet together over coffee. However, I never expected to be so fully dismissed and rejected in the fell swoop of one sentence.

This woman and I had shared a kindred spirit that many other women envied. We had cried together over our children, she had been there for me through a difficult miscarriage, and I had supported her through a painful time in her marriage. We had discussed our passion for God and living a godly life in countless phone conversations and during dozens of play dates.

As the weeks, and then months, went by I realized that she was serious. Our friendship was completely and utterly over. She had rejected me with an entirety that was astonishing.

All these years later I continue to look back on that moment with bewilderment and hurt. But God also used it to teach me some very important lessons.

I discovered that He never changes. While men and women on earth change constantly, God is the rock that will never move. I can trust Him wholly and completely with my life. Oh, what a comfort in the midst of difficult days!

I learned to trust in God’s sovereignty in all areas of my life. As I reflect back on the final two or three years of that friendship, I realize that it had been draining me of precious energy instead of building me up. Perhaps she felt that way, too, and had the courage to just end it instead of letting it die a long, torturous death. Perhaps God was protecting both of us from further hurt down the road. Whatever the reason, I learned that I must believe that my heavenly Father knows best and rely on His plan, rather than my own.

And God taught me that wherever there is love, there is also great risk for hurt. But I also learned that He will walk with me through that hurt. I had loved deeply and I had been hurt deeply. For awhile afterwards, I held myself at arm’s length from everyone but my family. But over time, I realized that God wasn’t teaching me never to love again but instead that He will be there for me when the inevitable hurt comes around. And choosing to love, if we are believers in Jesus Christ, isn’t an option but a command.

He also taught me that my worth is found in Him alone. I don’t know if you have ever experienced such utter rejection, but I found it the most devastating, empty feeling I have ever experienced. Even now, all these years later, when I think on it, I still feel the sting of it. The tendency is to start making assumptions about yourself. I am a terrible person. I am a rotten friend. I must have done something just awful. God taught me to rest in Him. I wasn’t a perfect friend. I know that. But I have found forgiveness and acceptance from my heavenly Father. He is so faithful! He will never say that I am not worth the effort, but stays by me no matter what mistakes I make. What a comfort in a time of such complete and utter rejection.

And, lastly, I had no choice but to learn that some answers are never going to be available to me. I have come to understand that I will probably never truly know exactly why my best friend chose to end that friendship the way she did. For awhile, I hung onto the hope that we would have a good, long chat to air things out. I knew that the friendship would never be the same, but I was hoping for some insight into the situation. I now know that I need to relinquish my insatiable curiosity and move on with my life.

I will always remember that friendship with great fondness. God provided much needed support through that special friend and He gave me wonderful memories that I will treasure all of my life. I will also remember the friendship with great sadness. It was a tragic end to a beautiful relationship. But I know that God has taught me many things through this trial and for that I am deeply grateful. God knows best and I know that I can rely on Him to see me through even the hardest of times. He has proven this to me over and over again. I may never know why, but I rest in God’s plan and thank Him for helping me to forgive and move on with my life.

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My Way, Please

Leave a Comment / January 17, 2013 January 17, 2013

Last night, I was in the toddler nursery at church. During that hour, I enjoyed playing with three adorable toddlers–something I don’t often have the opportunity to do anymore.

At one point, two of them started fighting over a toy. The little girl’s brown eyes widened with indignation as the little boy headed towards her toy. She was quite talkative, and so she let him (and me) know that this was her toy and she didn’t want him playing with it. He was a little younger, but his big eyes said it all. He was determined to have that toy, as well. My daughter (working in there with me) told them to share and then we watched what would happen. There were a few moments of tension in that room, before she finally walked away and found a different toy.

Later on, the little boy was carrying around two horses and the little girl wanted one. When I asked him to share one of them, he looked down at them and then promptly put out his hand, offering the small red horse to the girl. She gratefully accepted and his face lit up with a smile, as he handed his other horse to my daughter, as if to say, “I like sharing!”

Why am I sharing with you these nursery stories? Because these stories don’t only happen in the nursery and they are related to joy.

Don’t we often stamp our feet and argue and debate and manipulate to get our own way? To keep our own “toy”? And, how do we feel afterwards–even if we were right? Joy and peace are not two words that come to mind. But, if we can be like the little boy, and release what we are holding on to so tightly, while it seems totally contradictory, joy and peace often come.

My point is this: joy is never found in self-seeking. We think we know what we want, but when we get it, most of us aren’t satisfied and want something more. We can create a path of destruction trying to get money and power. We can knock down others as we seek to fulfill ourselves. And yet, when we get to the top, will we experience peace and joy?

I think just a little bit of human observation answers that question in a hurry. True joy is never a result of getting our own way.

The funny thing is, we continually think it is, so many of us try so hard to get that car…or that friend…or that bracket of income. We think we will be satisfied if we just can have a big house, a leaner body, or that brand of clothing. And none of it brings any joy. Oh, it might make us happy for a little while but then we will start feeling empty again.

But joy isn’t related to our circumstances. John MacArthur gives this theology of joy (saying it better than I ever could!): True spiritual joy is not related to circumstances. It is a gift from God to those who believe the gospel of Christ being produced in them by the Holy Spirit because they receive and obey the Word of God mixed with trials and keep their focus on eternal glory.

I love that! Because it so clearly shows that joy does not lie in getting our own way! It isn’t until we yield our will to God’s that we can experience true joy. What a challenge for us in a culture obsessed with personal fulfillment and purpose. How ironic that we need to give up our own definition of personal fulfillment to actually experience being fulfilled in a better way that we could have ever imagined. Isn’t God so amazing?

Don’t forget to check out my 10 day devotional on Joy. You can get it free! See the details here.

January Joy Challenge #2: Finding the Balance

4 Comments / January 14, 2013 June 23, 2013

Balance is very important in the life of a Christian, but most of us have a very, very difficult time finding it. You see, somehow we have to find the balance between —

Accepting where the Lord has placed us

and yet,

Continuing to learn and grow from the trials

And between–

Accepting and resting in the grace of God to cover all of our sins

and yet,

Striving to be more pure and holy with each passing day

And between–

Accepting the way God has made us

and yet,

Never giving up on improving ourselves

This is all especially personal to me, because about this time in life (speaking only for myself, you understand), I am not always accepting with much of anything (just being honest here). My kids are almost grown up and I find myself nearing the end of the only full-time job I ever wanted. I don’t look like I want to look. I often don’t act or react like I think I should. I am frustrated that I haven’t progressed more as a Christian. And, a few years ago, I started to realize that happy endings are mostly in movies. Thankfully, there are a few in real life, but even those take a ton of work. Mostly, you just do the best you can with what you are given.

And, look, I have a great life. I know I do. I am not complaining–not a bit. But, somehow, I have to figure out how to accept who and where I am–right now– without giving in to complacency and apathy. And that’s what is so hard. And that’s where joy comes in.

You see, if I can’t accept the circumstances in which God has placed me or in who God created me to be, then discontent will reign in my heart, pushing out joy (Romans 9:20; Psalm 139:14; Philippians 4:11). But if I am too accepting of myself or of my circumstances, then there is no desire to change for the better, also pushing out joy (Philippians 3:12; I Corinthians 9:24-27; Romans 12:1-2) . And, so, somehow we have to find the balance.

So how exactly do we do this? I confess I am not totally sure. But maybe we should start with this week’s challenge:

Take some time this week to do an inventory of yourself. Think about what you don’t like about yourself or circumstances. Are they things you can change or are they outside your control?

Prayerfully, give the things you can’t control to the Lord (you know–things like the scar on your face, your husband’s horrible boss, the wayward adult child). In fact, go a step further, and thank the Lord for these things, for they have probably led you to a deeper walk with the Lord.

And then, look at the things you don’t like that you can control (things like a huge amount of debt, laziness, bad temper, extra pounds) and develop a plan to start working on them, yielding them prayerfully to the Lord.

Of course, sometimes issues get lost in the big black hole between the can control and the can’t control –things like marriages and wayward teens. Okay then, if that is the case, we do what we can do and then submit the outcome to God, praying confidently for His will to be done. After all, we know it is His will that our marriages stay together and that our teens follow hard after Him.

This challenge is a little deeper this week and a little more work, too. But, I truly believe that until we can find the balance, we will either be stuck in the land of discontent or find ourselves in the fields of laziness and apathy. May we always be striving, instead, for the life of balance, which will lead us to deeper joy.

Joy Killers

4 Comments / January 10, 2013 January 10, 2013

Yesterday, I shared some excerpts from a sermon by Spurgeon on the Joy of the Lord. As I thought about his words, I thought of how often I desire to walk in the joyful sunshine of God’s light but then choose, instead, to walk through the dark, cold shade of my own sinful choices. What are some of those sinful choices–or what I like to call Joy Killers–that are so effective in leading us to the shady side of the street? The list is probably endless, but here are a few that came to mind–

Joy Killers

Holding a grudge
Entertainment that glorifies what God hates
Caring too much about what people think
Loving money
Eating more than your body needs
Wasting time
Gossiping about someone else
Caring more about your physical health than your spiritual health
Watching too much news
Anger and Frustration
Caring too much about what you look like
Focusing only on what’s wrong in the world
Making yourself and your needs your top priority
Complaining
Criticizing
Trying to fix, control, and manipulate people and circumstances
Taking something that isn’t yours
Envy and jealousy
Sex outside of marriage
Hating someone
Putting sports (or anything else) ahead of the spiritual welfare of your family
Language that is filthy and crude
Pretending to be someone you are not (hypocrisy)
Abusing our bodies with substances
Twisting scripture to make it mean what you want instead of what it really does
Living only for today, with no thought for eternity

Many on this list are specific things listed in scripture as sin (see Galatians 5). Others are simply unwise to do if we want to live a life of joy. There are so many others that could be added. We humans have been very creative at concocting ways to steal our own joy!

I have been really convicted lately that we need to pray that we (and those we love) would hate sin. No, we will never be perfect here on this earth, but if we have a heart that is yielded to the Lord and we desire to be pure and holy, it is then, and only then, that we make it possible to have deep, abiding communion with our heavenly Father, thus leading to true and lasting joy.

Do you have anything to add to my list of Joy Killers?

There is room in my heart for…me.

2 Comments / December 20, 2012 December 18, 2019

We were singing the Christmas song Thou Didst Leave Thy Throne in church. I got distracted and wasn’t paying attention to what I was singing. We got to the last line of the song and, instead of the beautiful line “there is room in my heart for Thee”, I sang “there is room in my heart for me.”

What did I just sing? I caught it immediately and grew disgusted with myself. What Christian would ever make such a terrible blunder while singing a song about God?

Well, I am here to tell you — I would. I did.

I sang those words and then, as we went on to the next verse and then the next song, I contemplated about how true those words actually are so many times.

I am ashamed to say that oftentimes there is only room in my heart for myself.

I get so focused on what I want that I forget to leave room in my heart for Jesus and what He wants.

For example, some days I wake up and immediately start thinking of everything that needs to be done that day. I don’t see how I can possibly make time for a quiet time that morning and so I don’t have one. Ironically, I usually do end up having time at the end of my day for a quick game on my ipad or to watch something on TV — something I want. I have room for me.

Or I am short with a family member because there is something I want to do. I know that I would please the Lord by being kind and loving towards them, but I am too busy making room for me at the moment, thank you very much, so they’d better just get out of my way.

Or I am at the store and I see something that I ~~need~~ want and I buy it, making room for me and my desires, before ever contemplating if this is necessary or wise. Leaving no room in my heart for God and what He wants.

Or…well, you get the idea. Think of all of the times that we spend focused on ourselves–oftentimes, so much so, that we squeeze out Jesus. There’s just so much of us that there is little room for Him.

But there is a problem.

There really is only room for one on the throne of our hearts. And we have a choice to make. Is it going to be me or is it going to be Him?

There are spiritual ramifications to even the smallest choice. Will this decision put Christ on the throne of my heart or will it put me on the throne of my heart? As we grow as a Christian, the throne room in our hearts should be filled more and more with Christ and less and less with self.

I want to sing the right words: “there is room in my heart for Thee.” And then I want to follow up my words with a life that matches.

Thy didst leave thy throne and thy kingly crown
When Thou camest to earth for me
But in Bethlehem’s home there was found no room
For Thy holy nativity
O come to my heart Lord Jesus
There is room in my heart for Thee

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Wednesday Wisdom: The Gold and Ivory Tablecloth

Leave a Comment / December 19, 2012 December 10, 2023

This is one of my favorite stories. You may ask, “did this really happen?” as it seems so impossible. I have always thought that it is a true story but cannot verify that for sure. However, no matter if it is or isn’t, I have heard many miraculous true stories and I do know that anything is possible with God.

At Christmas time men and women everywhere gather in their churches to wonder anew at the greatest miracle the world has ever known. But the story I like best to recall was not a miracle — not exactly.

It happened to a pastor who was very young. His church was very old. Once, long ago, it had flourished. Famous men had preached from its pulpit, prayed before its altar. Rich and poor alike had worshipped there and built it beautifully. Now the good days had passed from the section of town where it stood. But the pastor and his young wife believed in their run-down church. They felt that with paint, hammer, and faith they could get it in shape. Together they went to work.

But late in December a severe storm whipped through the river valley, and the worst blow fell on the little church — a huge chunk of rain-soaked plaster fell out of the inside wall just behind the altar. Sorrowfully the pastor and his wife swept away the mess, but they couldn’t hide the ragged hole.

The pastor looked at it and had to remind himself quickly, “Thy will be done!” But his wife wept, “Christmas is only two days away!”

That afternoon the dispirited couple attended the auction held for the benefit of a youth group. The auctioneer opened a box and shook out of its folds a handsome gold and ivory lace tablecloth. It was a magnificent item, nearly 15 feet long. but it, too, dated from a long vanished era. Who, today, had any use for such a thing? There were a few halfhearted bids. Then the pastor was seized with what he thought was a great idea.

He bid it in for $6.50.

He carried the cloth back to the church and tacked it up on the wall behind the altar. It completely hid the hole! And the extraordinary beauty of its shimmering handwork cast a fine, holiday glow over the chancel. It was a great triumph. Happily he went back to preparing his Christmas sermon.

Just before noon on the day of Christmas Eve, as the pastor was opening the church, he noticed a woman standing in the cold at the bus stop. “The bus won’t be here for 40 minutes!” he called, and invited her into the church to get warm.

She told him that she had come from the city that morning to be interviewed for a job as governess to the children of one of the wealthy families in town but she had been turned down. A war refugee, her English was imperfect.

The woman sat down in a pew and chafed her hands and rested. After a while she dropped her head and prayed. She looked up as the pastor began to adjust the great gold and ivory cloth across the hole. She rose suddenly and walked up the steps of the chancel. She looked at the tablecloth. The pastor smiled and started to tell her about the storm damage, but she didn’t seem to listen. She took up a fold of the cloth and rubbed it between her fingers.

“It is mine!” she said. “It is my banquet cloth!” She lifted up a corner and showed the surprised pastor that there were initials monogrammed on it. “My husband had the cloth made especially for me in Brussels! There could not be another like it.”

For the next few minutes the woman and the pastor talked excitedly together. She explained that she was Viennese; that she and her husband had opposed the Nazis and decided to leave the country. They were advised to go separately. Her husband put her on a train for Switzerland. They planned that he would join her as soon as he could arrange to ship their household goods across the border. She never saw him again. Later she heard that he had died in a concentration camp.

“I have always felt that it was my fault — to leave without him,” she said. “Perhaps these years of wandering have been my punishment!” The pastor tried to comfort her and urged her to take the cloth with her. She refused. Then she went away.

As the church began to fill on Christmas Eve, it was clear that the cloth was going to be a great success. It had been skillfully designed to look its best by candlelight.

After the service, the pastor stood at the doorway. Many people told him that the church looked beautiful. One gentle-faced middle-aged man — he was the local clock-and-watch repairman — looked rather puzzled.

“It is strange,” he said in his soft accent. “Many years ago my wife – God rest her — and I owned such a cloth. In our home in Vienna, my wife put it on the table” — and here he smiled — “only when the bishop came to dinner.”

The pastor suddenly became very excited. He told the jeweler about the woman who had been in church earlier that day. The startled jeweler clutched the pastor’s arm. “Can it be? Does she live?”

Together the two got in touch with the family who had interviewed her. Then, in the pastor’s car they started for the city. And as Christmas Day was born, this man and his wife, who had been separated through so many saddened Yule tides, were reunited.

To all who hear this story, the joyful purpose of the storm that had knocked a hole in the wall of the church was now quite clear. Of course, people said it was a miracle, but I think you will agree it was the season for it!

Facing the Fear

4 Comments / December 17, 2012 December 18, 2012

As our congregation bowed in prayer, I found myself distracted by a sudden thought: where is the closest exit? I sighed with relief as I saw a door nearby through half-closed eyes and then went on to think about what I would do if a gunman entered the church. All while we were supposed to be focused on the Lord. I am not excusing myself, but after Friday, I doubt I am the only one finding myself thinking unfamiliar thoughts about murderers and escape routes. What a world we live in.

I never dreamed last week at this time that my heart could feel so heavy for people I have never even met. That I would be writing about death and murder and fear during the holiday season. It just feels…wrong. Jesus came into the world to save us and give us eternal life and, while murder is absolutely horrific any time of the year, it seems especially tragic at Christmastime.

We grieve for families we have never met. We hear the cries for gun control from the media. We see Facebook statuses that promote returning God to our schools. Everyone has an opinion.

But there is one thing I haven’t really heard much about: FEAR.

There have been multiple stories of shootings and assaults– Friday’s was the worst, by far, but there have been others. And, if I am not careful, I can start to become controlled by fear.

When something happens like what happened last Friday, we suddenly become aware that we are not in control of our lives. We could be violently shot down at any time. Life could end for us or our loved ones instantly. We start to fear for ourselves, even more for our children. And then the fear grows as we think about what the world will be like for our children and the worry and anxiety can start overtaking us if we aren’t very careful. Or maybe I should say “I”. I may be alone here. Not really sure.

So what do we do in the face of fear?

This has happened to me in the past and there are a couple of really helpful things I do that I thought I would pass along, just in case I am not alone.

1. I thank the Lord for what I currently enjoy. There is nothing like a tragedy to remind you of the fragility of life and the wonderful gifts we have been given in our spouses, our children, our parents, our siblings, and our friends. We need to thank the Lord everyday for these blessings. Somehow — I can’t explain it — fear lessens in a thankful heart.

2. I memorize God’s Word. When I went through a very fearful time many years ago, I turned to God’s Word and found many scriptures that speak to fear. I memorized a couple of them and when I would be filled with fear, I would start saying them to myself. It was very comforting and I still go to these verses today when I am struggling with fear.

3. I am very careful about what I watch and listen to. I am one who becomes very disturbed in my spirit if I hear all of the negative stuff going on. It will give me such a heavy heart. It is very difficult for me to see that someone’s life has been destroyed and then go about my business of the day. Because of this, I rarely watch any news at all. If something especially tragic happens, I usually will hear about it from someone or see it on Facebook. But I try to be very careful about how much news I feed myself, because that feeds the fear.

4. I discipline my mind. This is so much easier said than done, although, after many years of practice, I have become much better at it. I find in my life a tiny thought will become a gigantic worry if I am not very careful. And so I try to turn my mind away from dwelling on any thoughts of fear and worry. Although, I have to be honest, I am definitely being tested in this — as is obvious by my thought life in church yesterday!

5. Dwell on the Truth. God knows all. Nothing happens without His knowledge. Yes, the world’s going to get worse but His grace is sufficient. If we are truly saved, then we truly have nothing to fear. He will take care of us and our children. He will see us through. I have read missionary biographies attesting to this fact. I have talked to people going through the worst of circumstances and yet they see God’s faithfulness clearly. We are not alone and bereft. God has not left your heart or this country.

Fear won’t disappear in an instant. It will take time. And we will think we have it beat and then it will crop up again in the face of the next tragedy or accident or disease-stricken relative. It is a battle I fight on a regular basis. But we can’t give in to it. We are called to live in love, not in fear.

PSALMS 46:1-3

God is our refuge and strength,
    an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
    and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam
    and the mountains quake with their surging.