biblical counsel

Wednesday Wisdom: Six Reasons Not to Worry

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This world is crazy, isn’t it? It is changing rapidly and it’s a little scary. Yesterday the government shut down. Our “normal” seems to hang in the balance, tossed about in the hands of a socialist leader. Meanwhile, we hear of other bad news, constantly bombarded with stories of violence and diseases and accidents, affecting strangers, as well as those we love dearly. We are constantly confronted with this fact: I control nothing in my life. This can cause some of us to worry. I heard this sermon yesterday and it seemed especially appropriate in light of the current climate of our country. I found it very helpful and I hope you will, too. It is based on Luke 12:22-34 and is by R.W. Glenn, pastor of Redeemer Bible Church. It’s fairly long, but please read through to the end, as he asks four questions that really get to the heart of why we worry.  

The world is a dangerous place. Lots of things can happen. The present economy being what it is, you could lose your job. You could be mugged or raped. Your spouse could commit adultery. Or he or she could suddenly abandon you. Your teenage son could repudiate the faith. Your parents could die in a car accident. You could suffer a debilitating injury. You could contract a fatal illness. Your house could burn down. You could lose your life’s savings in bad investments.

And even less significant things could happen. Your car could fail to start. You could fail an exam. You could sprain your ankle. Your colleagues could misunderstand you. Your friend could break your favorite toy. Life is full of risks.

Along with the potential dangers, there are simply lots of things that need to get done. There are bills to pay, mouths to feed, and households to manage. There are quotas to meet and sales to close. There are meetings to give, budgets to meet, and moves to make. There are church, family, work, and personal responsibilities. There are vacations and weddings and socials and all manner of events to plan. There are sermons to prepare and Sunday school lessons to arrange. There is so much to do, and it seems, so little time in which to accomplish it.

And according to the ADAA, the Anxiety Disorders Association of America, an estimated 19 million adult Americans suffer from what they call anxiety disorders, including…

  • Generalized anxiety disorder
  • Agoraphobia
  • Social phobia
  • Obsessive-compulsive disorder
  • Sexual aversion disorder
  • Sleep terror disorder
  • Avoidant personality
  • Persecutory delusions
  • Panic disorder
  • Paranoid schizophrenia
  • Other specific phobias
  • Post-traumatic stress disorder
  • Nightmare disorder
  • Paranoid personality
  • Separation anxiety disorder2

And in the background of these clinical diagnoses are quietly running (or not so quietly) all kinds of fears…

  • Fears for your safety and the safety of those you love.
  • Fears about how you will die: a progressively debilitating disease, cancer, Alzheimer’s disease, being alone, being penniless.
  • Fears about what happens after death: being forgotten, being maligned, being judged, being extinct.
  • Fears about living a meaningless life.
  • Fears about being unloved or alone.
  • Fears about being in love and the high probability of being hurt.
  • Fears about what you might lose: your figure, boyfriend, girlfriend, hair, youth, mind, money, job, spouse, health, hobbies, purpose, faith.3

The point here is that anxiety is commonplace; Jesus assumes it and tells us that there are lots of reasons to worry. But then he heaps up six better reasons NOT to.

REASON #1: Your life is bigger than your worries – v. 23.

For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing.

This is what happens when you’re anxious: you blow up your worry out of proportion to its size. And it becomes so big that it crowds out and takes over your life. It becomes the thing you think about all the time:

  • Your relational worries
  • Your work performance worries
  • Your personal appearance worries
  • Your financial worries

What you worry about becomes the center of your life, but here Jesus reminds us of a truth we can take to the bank: YOU WERE MADE TO LIVE YOUR LIFE FOR SOMETHING BIGGER AND BETTER THAN WHAT YOU WORRY ABOUT.

“BUT,” you say, “I thought you just said that Jesus’ original audience wasn’t worrying about TRIVIA; their worries were a matter of life and death. So how is “your life is bigger than your worries” supposed to comfort me when I’m worrying about a life-and-death issue?”

TWO THINGS:

  1. Jesus is talking about anything and everything you might worry about. By addressing life-and-death issues he’s including all the lesser worries leading up to it.
  2. When Jesus says that your life is bigger than your life-and-death worries, he’s saying something more than “In the grand scheme of things, your worry is not that big a deal.” INSTEAD, he’s saying a Christian’s life doesn’t end with this life. The timeline of your life extends BEYOND death to RESURRECTION life – the time when everything sad becomes untrue.

SO, “your life is bigger than your worries” is meant to remind you that your life is WAY BIGGER than even your life-and-death worries. After this life, you’ve got eternity to go!

So, reason #1 not to worry: Your life is bigger than your worries.

REASON #2: The Lord takes care of CROWS – v 24.

Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds!

Crows are scavengers, the garbage men of the bird world, UNCLEAN birds according to the OT law – and yet God takes care of them. How much more are YOU.

REASON #3: Worrying accomplishes NOTHING – vv 25-26.

25 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? 26 If then you are not able to do as small a thing as that, why are you anxious about the rest?

This is just a simple, logical reason. Do you ever really help your situation by worrying about it? No, of course not.

REASON #4: God puts clothes on the WEEDS – vv 27-28.

27 Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 28 But if God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field today, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith!

This is similar logic to the logic of the crows: if he feeds crows, he’ll certainly take care of you. Only Jesus does one better. And you’re going to LOVE how David Powlison explains it…

This promise is far more than “God will take care of you.” This is “God will clothe you in nothing less than His radiant glory!” I promise you. “So why do you worry about the clothes you wear? I’ll dress you in My own glory! Why do you worry about your health? I’ll raise you from the dead to eternal life. Why do you worry about a few dollars? I’ll give you the whole earth as your inheritance. Why do you worry when someone doesn’t like you? I’ll make you live in the kingdom of My love!”4

So reason #4 – God clothes the WEEDS, and is going to clothe you with GLORY. So why worry.

REASON #5: Your loving father KNOWS what you need – v 30.

For all the nations of the world seek after these things, and your Father knows that you need them.

And when your dad happens to be the ALMIGHTY, ALL-POWERFUL, SOVEREIGN GOD – you’re in good hands, aren’t you! And to say that he knows what you need means that he cares.

REASON #6: This is the most significant reason of ALL because “Jesus makes it as personal, intimate, and generous as possible.”5 YOUR LOVING FATHER IS HAPPY TO GIVE YOU THE KINGDOM – v 32.

“Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.”

Let’s break that down:

“Fear not” – It’s a comfort command. It’s a command, so worry is a sin; but more than that, Jesus is saying you don’t have to worry.

“Little flock” – The shepherd of a little flock knows every sheep by name – EVERY DETAIL. He knows your situation. How you feel. What you’re facing.

“Your Father’s” – This is your dad we’re talking about. If yours was terrible, invert his terribleness and multiply it by infinity! If yours was great, skip the inversion, and STILL multiply it by infinity!

“good pleasure” – You don’t have to twist your father’s arm AT ALL. He’s full ofgenerosity toward you. It’s the same word that Luke uses earlier in Ch 3 (the only other time in the Gospel of Luke this used) to describe the Father’s pleasure with Jesus.

“to give you” – This gift-giving language. The language of GRACE. He doesn’t pay you the kingdom. He gives it to you as a GIFT.

“the kingdom” – The kingdom is both a present and future reality. In the future, the kingdom is God’s RULE when everything sad becomes untrue. When everything is set right in the world. When you can finally EXHALE and REST. Nothing left to fear. ALL the monsters have been destroyed.

In the present, receiving the kingdom means experiencing something of that rest in the here and now. Your dad is the most powerful person in the universe and he has nothing but love for you. So he’s going to give you his peace and joy and rest TODAY. How do we know that? He’s given you the King – King Jesus! How will he not with King Jesus freely give you EVERYTHING – that peace, that rest?

So then, six reasons – better than your reasons to worry – six reasons NOT to worry:

  1. Your life is bigger than your worries.
  2. God feeds CROWS.
  3. Worrying accomplishes nothing!
  4. Your loving father knows what you need.
  5. God puts clothes on WEEDS.
  6. Your loving father is happy to give you the kingdom.

Those are some good reasons!

STILL, as encouraged as you may be right now, you may be wondering how it is that Jesus’ teaching on anxiety is better than what you can find outside the church (the case we’re making in this series).

Well, to address that, I want to walk you through four questions – questions to ask yourself and especially others – that I hope will help you see how RELEVANT Jesus’ teaching really is.

QUESTION #1: What specifically do you worry about?

This can be extremely helpful because when you are really anxious it seems like there are a million things going on inside you. “Anxieties feel endless and infinite – but they are [actually] finite and specific.”6

So what is it for you? Talk it over with a friend to help you identify it. The act of naming what it is will be massively helpful to you.

QUESTION #2: How specifically do you express your anxiety?

  • Is it feelings of panic?
  • Is it tightness in your throat?
  • Is it through your dreams?
  • Is it repetitive/obsessive thoughts?
  • Is it anger (that’s a big one)?
  • Is it depression (another big one)?
  • Is it binging on Ben & Jerry’s?
  • Is it taking the edge off with a few martinis?
  • Is it cleaning your house?
  • Is it headaches?
  • Is it planning/strategizing?
  • Is it through superstitions?

This is a helpful question because it will ALERT you to the fact that anxiety is driving you at that moment.

So, question #2: How do you specifically express your anxiety? What does it look like when you’re worried? How do you behave?

QUESTION #3: This is the KEY QUESTION because it not only allows you to move beyond the anxiety to what motivates it, but it is the key question also because it shows why Jesus is the TRUE ANSWER to our struggles with worry (a better prescription than anything or anyone out there.) Question #3 is: WHY are you anxious?

Here in our passage Jesus gives three underlying reasons – all of which I’m sure will resonate with your own experience.

1. Anxiety is a TREASURE issue – v 34.

For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

Worry is what happens when what you value is threatened. Do you know what it is you value? You value what you worry about and you worry about what you value. I’ll say that again: you value what you worry about and you worry when what you value is threatened.

So if you want to find out what you really value, what makes you tick, what you’re ten fingers and ten toes are committed to, look to what makes you anxious. Fear is an inverted desire. If I’m afraid of being seen as an idiot, then I value being seen as intelligent. If I’m afraid of my job’s insecurity, then I value job security. And on and on. The point is that if you want to find out what you really value, identify what you worry about. You value what you worry about.

But you also worry when what you value is threatened. If I value my children’s welfare, then I worry when they are in danger. If I value my livelihood, then I worry when there are company layoffs. If I value my reputation, then I worry when people think ill of me. Again, we could go on and on. The point here is that you worry when what you value is threatened.

Now because Jesus is the only thing TRULY and ULTIMATELY worth valuing, and because he is completely unassailable, if you value Jesus Christ, can anyone take Jesus Christ from you?  No. That’s what Jesus is talking about when he says look, money is a good way of seeing what you value – v 33.

Sell your possessions, and give to the needy. Provide yourselves with moneybags that do not grow old, with a treasure in the heavens that does not fail, where no thief approaches and no moth destroys.

It’s unassailable. Your anxiety is a treasure issue – it’s about what you VALUE. And because deep down you know that any treasure other than Jesus Christ is weak, powerless, failing and futile, OF COURSE you’re worried.

Anxiety isn’t just a treasure issue.

2. Anxiety is a KINGDOM issue – v 31.

Instead, seek his kingdom, and these things will be added to you.

There are two kingdoms at war in every human being’s life – the kingdom of SELF and the kingdom of God. They are kingdoms in conflict.

If you could live perfectly for the right kingdom – the one ruled by King Jesus – you wouldn’t worry at all, ever because you know he’s got your life in his hands and promises ONLY to do good to you.

The worry comes because you are afraid that your will won’t be done, that you won’t get what you think you deserve. You’re afraid that somehow my project of building my own kingdom about me is threatened. So you worry…

  • “Do I have any real friends?”
  • “What if I don’t make the team? What if I forget my lines in the play? What if someone else gets picked for that committee?”
  • “Will I ever find a husband or wife?”
  • “If I do find one, will he or she be faithful to me?”
  • “Will I be able to have kids?”
  • “If I have kids, how will they turn out?”
  • “What about my health? Some of my friends are dying of cancer. It’s painful. Is that going to be for me? Will I be able to have the strength to go through that? What if I get Alzheimer’s? The thought of ending my life not even able to recognize the people I love: what about that?”

On and on and on, your health, your money, your relationships, your achievements.7

But in the END, it’s all about ME – my wants, my needs, my desires. Worry is focused INWARD. It is self-protective and self-reliant. It chooses kingdom of self over the kingdom of God. This is why Jesus is the only answer to worry – you need a new king. Only Jesus is a king sufficient to take away your worries.

SO anxiety is a KINGDOM issue.

3. Jesus says anxiety is a FAITH issue – v 28.

But if God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field today, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith!

As Calvin has said, “Unbelief is the mother of every anxiety.” People who worry do not trust the true and living God. And in the absence of trusting God, we trust false gods. And, of course, this SHOULD make us anxious. Our false gods are powerless to help us when things go rough…because they’re not real. They are the figment of our imagination.

Oh, most of us don’t make dashboard idols that we give fruit and meats to – but we are idolaters nonetheless. The prophet Ezekiel talks about idols of the heart – the things we live for and long for – the things we seek above God – power, fame, sex, money, approval, intelligence, comfort, security – whatever.

Now whatever we live for other than God will only do two things: lower the boom or raise the bar (I owe this language to my friend Dick Kaufmann). If you fail to live up to the standard of your idol of choice, they lower the boom – make you feel terribly guilty so you’re always trying to live up to the standard your idol sets for you from fear of it lowering the boom. So you’re anxious!

On the other hand, if you DO live up to the standard of your idol, if you get what you crave, it only raises the bar. It says, “Not good enough. You need more.” And so you’re anxious, too, only this time, you’re not afraid as much you’re insecure. “Did I do enough?” When is enough, enough?”

But, of course, your idol of choice is simply yourself. We love to trust ourselves. And whenever you trust yourself, you cannot trust God at the same time. The moment your faith shifts from God to self, your faith in God lessens. It’s just the way it works. So when you worry, you are transferring your faith from God to self, and essentially telling God that you can run the universe better than he can, so you’ll take it from here!

No wonder you’re worried! Running the universe, with all its contingencies, is a BIG JOB.

But if you remember what Christ has done for you, if you trust that your Father’s good pleasure is to give you the kingdom, if you believe that you are valuable to God, then your worries begin to evaporate.

Anxiety is a FAITH issue. Trusting yourself is loaded with uncertainty and insecurity. Trusting God you can take to the BANK because he’s proved himself at the cross. He must love you and must be interested in what you’re going through, otherwise he wouldn’t have sent Jesus for you.

This is why the question “Why are you anxious?” is so important. Beneath your fears and worries are misplaced treasures, kingdoms in conflict, and unbelief in the gospel. No other strategy can get to the bottom of your anxiety.

NOT: (1) thoughtless optimism, a kind of carelessness. “Don’t worry. Be happy.” “Everything’s gonna be alright”; (2) logic and the statistical improbability of such-and-such a thing happening to you; (3) distraction – “You’ve gotta do something to get your mind off it.” (4) plan and scheme with the person to show them that they have things well enough under control; (5) tell them you’ll always be there for them (you won’t).

None of these things are real encouragements because none of them direct us to the gospel. Only Jesus is true treasure. Only Jesus is the true King. Only Jesus is trustworthy.

So then, question #3: Why specifically do you worry? What’s driving the bus for you?

QUESTION #4: What better reason has Jesus given you specifically not to worry?

Is it that your life is bigger than your worries? That you father feed CROWS or puts clothes on WEEDS? That your father knows (and cares about) what you need? Or is it that your loving Father is happy to give you the kingdom?

Some days it will be one of those. Some days it will be a combination. Some days it will be a couple of those. But what specifically are you bringing to bear?

What we need to do for each other is to make the connection of something specific in the gospel to something specific in others’ lives. We miss all the time! We are SO VAGUE. We just throw a verse out at a person! No wonder why people outside the church say that we don’t understand the nature of the human condition. We’re just throwing out a band-aid. You and I live our lives in DETAIL, in HD, so you and I need a gospel sensitive to the details – specific enough to make a difference.

So ask yourself and one another:

  • What specifically are you worried about?
  • How are the specific ways?
  • How specifically is your anxiety expressing itself?
  • Why specifically are you anxious?
  • What better reason does Jesus give you specifically not to worry?

And as you do that, remember, above all, this GOOD WORD of JESUS: “Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.” Amen.

 

The Cluttered Past

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Let me first state here that I tend to be a Type A personality to a certain extent.  I like my i’s dotted and my t’s crossed. I like a plan and I like life to go according to that plan.

Of course, God has been working on me in this area for a long time. Obviously,  life doesn’t always–or even often– go according to plan. Sometimes things in life do not fit into a neat little box.

Take e-mail for instance.

Yes, e-mail.

Being inundated by e-mails is one of those modern-day issues that didn’t exist at all a mere 20 years ago. But now–in 2013–it is how businesses and stores and marketers and charities and, oftentimes, even family and friends communicate with us. That makes for a lot of e-mails.

Let me take you back a few years. Back to the day I decided to sign up for a g-mail account. As the e-mails started pouring in, I would go crazy trying to organize them. I would spend hours deleting, filing, and sorting e-mails.

Of course, the problem was that I would have to do it all over again the next day. The other problem was that I would inevitably delete something I would need weeks or months down the road. I was so frustrated and couldn’t figure out how to make it easier.

And then came the conversation.

I was having a conversation with a young twenty-something about my frustration with this. His response to me was simple: just leave them all there.

The internal dialogue started. What? Leave all of the e-mails in my box, cluttering cyberspace, not to mention my screen??  Why, I could never do that! It goes against all that is within me. It’s not even right.

But his suggestion made my wheels start turning and a day or two later, I started entertaining the idea. What if I did do that?  Any e-mail I needed would be available with a quick search. Would it really be that big of a deal to let them just sit there? Perhaps it was a just a head thing that I was bothered by the screen full of e-mails? Eventually, I came to the conclusion that I didn’t have much to lose if I put his suggestion into practice for a day or two.

And so I decided to give it a temporary try. I forced myself to put my obsessive compulsion to have a clean inbox aside and let the messages sit there staring at me.

At first, it was hard. But, very gradually, over time, I got used to it. So much so that it became my normal.

Now, years later, I have thousands of messages in my g-mail account. If you e-mailed me last October, it is still there. If you e-mailed me three years ago, it is there. In fact, unless it was definitely junk with zero chance of ever needing to be recalled and therefore deleted, it is there.

And I bet you are thinking so what?

Well, I got to thinking about my life.

A few months ago, because of knee issues, I was told that I will never run again. I was and continue to be disappointed about this. No, I was never a marathon runner or even called myself an “official” runner. But I enjoyed running as a form of exercise. When I ran, I felt free and powerful. And now those days are over.

I have struggled to work through this. The typical thoughts —This isn’t fair! Why me? Now what do I do for exercise? — all raced through my mind.

But, no matter what, this experience is now part of who I am. It is woven into the fabric of my life. I cannot delete it. I cannot go back and edit it. I am now the woman with the arthritic left knee that can no longer run.

I am also the mother of four almost grown children.

I am a woman who has had a miscarriage.

I am the woman who drove a car into a barn (and no, I am not telling that whole story, so don’t ask!)

All of this stuff makes up my past. It is messy. Some of it is embarrassing. Some of it is painful. And some of it is wonderful. But all of it is what makes me who I am.

Sometimes, I just want to clear out my life “in-box” and be given a second chance. A second chance at being a wife (learning to be submissive in marriage has been painful for both me and my husband), a second chance at being a mother (all that yelling and frustration was pointless and hurtful).  Even a second chance at being a church member, a co-worker, a daughter.  Of course, this isn’t possible.

But I am not the same person I was then. I’ve grown in grace, in spiritual maturity, and in love. Oh, I have a long way to go yet, but, looking back, I can see that there has been some progress. And all of my experiences from my past were used by God to change me.

Instead of viewing the untidy mess of our past as a liability, let’s view it as a blessing. Oh, maybe not what we typically view as a blessing, but a blessing, nevertheless.

For we would not be who we are now, if it weren’t for what we went through then.

If you are a committed Christian, then God has used all of your circumstances to mold you to be more like Jesus.

And, just like my e-mails that sit somewhere in cyberspace, so the moments of our lives take space in the recesses of our mind, molding and making us into the person we have become.

And, while the current e-mails stare at me when I hop on g-mail, the ones written three years ago are hidden way deep in cyber space. I don’t look at them every day. I don’t search for them. Our memories should be a little like that, too. We shouldn’t be wallowing in despair and discouragement and regret over the past (unless there is something unresolved and unforgiven–a topic for another post on a different day).

And, unlike e-mail, our pasts come with baggage. And we have a decision to make. Will it make me a better person or will it make me a bitter person? Will I grow more like Christ from my past experiences or will I grow less like Christ?

That is the question.

If you are reading this right now can you look back and see how God has created beauty from the ashes of your life? Or have you been so wrapped up in despair and self-pity, that you haven’t been able to see any growth or change at all? Only you can answer that question.

 

 

The Choice to Trust

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There are some stories in life you could not possibly make up. We experienced one of those stories this weekend. It all started with the sighting of a kitten.

It was Saturday morning and my husband had decided to clean the garage that morning. A few minutes after he got started, he walked into the house and announced that we had at least one kitten staying in our garage. A streak of black had rushed by his feet in the midst of moving things around but he couldn’t find it now.

I was more than a little dismayed because A)  We have no official cats anymore, B) I was really looking forward to having birds around to feed this year, now that we have no official cat, and C) I’m not a real big cat lover and I knew the inevitable outcome of combining a motherless kitten with the nurturing 14-year-old that resides in our home.

*Sigh*

At any rate, thus began the search for the black kitten that had been spotted.  The kids could not find it  and at lunch the announcement was made that there was probably at least one more–maybe even more. Oh, great.

The kids enthusiastically renewed their efforts to find the kittens as soon as lunch was over.  I cleaned up the lunch dishes and then went to check and see how the hunt was going. I saw my son, my oldest daughter’s boyfriend, and my 14 year old daughter all gathered around the back corner of the garage. Apparently they had found the kitten. But it wasn’t the black kitten. It was a gray kitten.

The poor animal had backed itself way back under the step and the kids were having a very difficult time getting it out. It was hissing and using its sharp claws to defend itself. The little thing was scared to death and had no way of knowing that we were not the enemy.

Finally, my son donned some work gloves and with the combination of a few long-handled tools and the gloves, they were able to pull it out.

At first, it threw a fit, clawing and biting, but surprisingly, it settled down into my son’s arms within a matter of minutes and lay there just as if she was used to people. She was really skinny and rather pathetic-looking but her striking gray eyes and gray fur led me to believe that she had the makings of becoming a very beautiful cat–and for me to say that is something, because I am not a huge cat fan (as already mentioned earlier). The one peculiar thing we noticed was that she did not have a tail.

Our daughter excitedly grabbed our prior cat’s crate and set up a little home for it. She googled kittens so that she could care for it properly and also googled “cats without tails” to try and solve the mystery of this lacking body part. (She came to the conclusion that it must be part manx cat. Who knew??)

As she carted that crate around the rest of the day, she and the other kids would search for the black kitten every so often. It had been last spotted headed up the attic steps in the back of the garage. There is no door to get to the upper level, so it was probably in a hiding spot among our Christmas decorations or boogie boards.

The kids would search but they just couldn’t find it.

After discussing it, we had finally made an educated guess as to how the kittens had come to be in our garage in the first place (although we will not truly ever know). Because we live next to our business with its large shop and various outbuildings, we do have cats around here. They are wild, mangy creatures who help control the mice population and forage in our dumpster. We co-exist peacefully –they keep their distance and we keep ours.

A few months ago, however, a black cat had started showing its face during the day and the office girls had named it Nevin. One day they watched it walk towards our house. It started making this journey several times each day until finally they concluded that Nevin must be a girl (Oops! Oh, well, they weren’t changing its name now!) with a litter of kittens somewhere in the vicinity of our home. And so we had gone searching for them. That had been at least a month ago and we never did find them. Until Saturday. It might be important to note here that Nevin has not been seen for the last few weeks, either, which would explain the kitten’s skinny, starving body.

Okay, now back to our ongoing search for the missing black kitten–

Sunday dawned as a lovely, cool autumn day. After church, Eric searched for the missing kitten once more but with no success. Meanwhile, the little gray one was just eating up all of the attention she was getting and had quietly settled into her {temporary} home.

Around 3pm, my oldest and youngest daughters decided to go on one last search for the missing kitten. I didn’t think too much of it as I sat reading on the sofa.

Until I heard an urgent voice calling my name.

Now what I expected to see was a mangy, sick kitten. I sat unresponsive for a nano-second, gearing myself up to save the kitten for the sake of my girls (wouldn’t be the first time) when, all of a sudden, I heard words I had never expected to hear.

“It hung itself.”

What?!?

“The poor thing hung itself on the volleyball net. It must have gotten so worked up and flustered that it just kept pulling the net tighter and tighter around itself until it choked itself to death.”

I felt sick to my stomach. Even though I am not a great lover of cats, I wouldn’t wish this on any animal. The poor, poor thing. If it would have just come out when we called to it. But instead it had cowered in fear and eventually grew so frightened that its manic, crazy actions had actually caused its own death.

I just couldn’t help but make a comparison. Do you see where I am headed?

Wow. It couldn’t be any clearer. The tiny gray kitten fought and scratched but eventually submitted its will to the girl who truly cared about her.  She was able to find food and water and a warm bed, where before she had only known starvation and a cold concrete floor. But it’s tiny sibling was not so fortunate. He had lived a {very} short life of great fear and had ended up sacrificing his own life because of it.

We do the same thing, don’t we?

We don’t trust that God knows better than we do and we stay hunkered down in our corners, on the concrete floor or caught in a net, starving, dying…unwilling to let the God who loves us provide for us a much better life.

And, yet, if like that gray kitten, we would settle down and rest in the will of our Heavenly Father, we would be amazed at the love and joy and peace that would flood our existence.

Why can’t we see it?

Why couldn’t the black kitten see it?

I don’t know. I don’t know why some see and others don’t. That is a question only God can answer.

But what I do know is that submission to God leads to indescribable peace and joy and protection.

The safest place to be is living a life of submission and obedience to God and His Word. We need to trust Him wholly and completely. He knows best.

Tis’ so sweet to trust in Jesus
Just to take Him at His Word
Just to rest upon His promise
Just to know, “Thus saith the Lord”

 

 

Wednesday Wisdom: Soul Erosion

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This morning I want to share with you a few paragraphs from a book I am reading. This week I will write my comments after the excerpt–

Nothing erodes progress toward godliness more than today’s entertainment mindset and the modern church’s casual Christianity. Devotion to Christ, which characterizes the godly man, is cultivated not with a game console in hand by the hour but by gradually increased time spent with a Bible in hand. It does not grow by hours a week spent before a television, computer, or theater screen but by more and more understanding of the person, work, and ways of Jesus Christ through increased time spent in His Word. This is foundational. Godliness is not accidental; it is intentional. “The Lord hath set apart him that is godly for himself,” (Psalm 4:3) and the godly man thrives on this personal time with God. The Christian who would be godly cannot fill his time with entertainments and recreations. They have their place but should be sampled more like salt sprinkled sparingly on a meal rather than a plate of salt consumed as the main course.

Furthermore, this devotion to Christ is not fueled by high-energy Christian pop concerts, sentimental Kumbaya campfire experiences, or emotional charismatic services. Energy, enthusiasm, and emotional experiences are no substitute for the daily, personal pursuit of Christ in the Word.

The believer must personally and regularly observe Christ in his Bible, meditate upon what he sees, and respond in contrition, commitment, and praise to his Lord and Savior. There is much going on between the godly man and his God, and his personal quiet time with God is measured, not by minutes a week but eventually by hours a week.

Thus, the godly man’s life is notably Christ-centered rather than self-centered. It is his chief distinction. It is this way because he has purposefully cultivated the pursuit of the excellence of Christ-likeness and sought the knowledge of Christ in His Word. Godliness has the imprint of this kind of personal devotion to Jesus Christ as its hallmark. Many men today are Christian, but alarmingly few are godly.

Wow. That is convicting, isn’t it? This is from the book Essential Virtues: Marks of the Christ-Centered Life by Jim Berg. He does go on to say a few paragraphs later that we should not panic if we are not spending hours each week in God’s Word, as this is an eventual outcome of a holy, righteous life. But this excerpt certainly did make me think about the hours of time I spend on entertainment and pleasing myself. I love these two sentences: The Christian who would be godly cannot fill his time with entertainments and recreations. They have their place but should be sampled more like salt sprinkled sparingly on a meal rather than a plate of salt consumed as the main course.

As I read this, I did find myself wondering something.  Are “many men” actually Christians? Is it possible to be Christian and not be striving towards godliness? The answer to this question scares me a bit. It would seem that the very essence of transformation would be a change in priorities and desires. Of course, we are all at different places, but is it possible to focus ONLY on me with no movement towards godliness and still be saved? Any thoughts? 

 

The Mouse and The Camper

1127727_13591352The tell-tale droppings were found in the most horrible of places — the silverware drawer.

“Oh, no, not again!” was my first thought.

It is first important for you to understand that we live in a home surrounded by fields. It is beautiful and I wouldn’t want it any other way, but along with the fields come the mice. The bothersome rodents always seem to find a way into the camper during the winter but this was mid-summer–August, in fact. What were they doing invading my space now? After checking all of their favorite places for evidence, I–once again– pulled everything out to wash and disinfect.

I expressed my frustration to my husband, who decided to set a few traps and put out some poison. I then doused cotton pads with peppermint oil and put them everywhere (supposedly mice hate the smell of peppermint oil).

A few days later, Eric went down to the camper to check his trap. And there it was! The tiny, gray creature that had caused me so much frustration. My husband disposed of it and we figured that was the end of the mice…at least for the summer.

Boy, were we wrong!

A few days later, as Eric pulled out one of the bagged chairs for a picnic, out fell three baby mice. The mouse had built a nest right in one of our chairs. Had we not found them we would have multiplied our mice trouble times three!

The things is, we can’t figure out how or where these annoying pests are entering our camper. They can get through the smallest space, so it is imperative that we seal even the most minuscule place of entry.

When we got this camper last year, my husband assured me that my mice troubles would be over as he was sure this model was sealed up tight, unlike our old one. How frustrating to realize that there is still some small way of entry.

I think we get ourselves into trouble with sin sometimes when we have that philosophy. Our pride leads us to believe that we are locked up tight against sin and we let our guards down.

When we see the tell-tale signs of a short temper or apathy or prayerlessness (to name a few), instead of finding the problem, we just “wash” the outside and keep going on.

But, just like the mice multiply, when we don’t find the sin and eradicate it, it just keeps growing and clean-up becomes messier and harder with each season.

We have to figure out what’s going on. What is causing the symptoms that are showing up in our lives?

Is it–

Greed? A lack of discernment? Anger? Pride? Disobedience? A rebellious heart? Fear? Doubt? Messed up priorities?

You see, until we can figure out the true reason of what’s going on in our lives and confess it and start working on it with the help of the Holy Spirit, we will continue to put out the numerous fires that are started because of it.  We will continue to use our human efforts to wipe up the messes we leave behind but never solve the problem that caused the messes in the first place.

And just like we “accidentally” found those baby mice, if we pray with a heart that truly longs to know, then God will show us sin in areas we never even dreamed there was any.

Some of us leave many openings for sin to invade our souls. We have ungodly friends, we pour wretched, sin-filled entertainment into our minds, and we go to places and participate in activities that are full of worldly temptation.

Others of us work really hard to keep ourselves locked up as tight as possible from the sin that can destroy. And we do so by keeping ourselves in God’s Word. We pray. We discern. But we can never rest. Sin is like that mouse–there is almost always a way in. We can never let our guards down.

On our camping trip this past weekend, our camper was mouse-free. We are thankful, but we will not rest. We will continue to give our efforts to keeping our living space free of rodents and other creatures.

We need to give as much (or more) effort to keeping our lives sin-free.

 

 

Life with Almost Grown Birdies

93189_7381revWe have a nest full of almost grown birdies in our home right now, with two young adult children almost ready to fly, a college student, and a 9th grader. While we enjoy their company and are glad to have them with us for right now, one of the greatest challenges we face is determining correct boundaries for these almost full-grown birdies.

I have seen parents that have completely eliminated rules and expectations after their kids have graduated high school. Usually this has not turned out very well.

I have also seen parents who have tried to micromanage the lives of their young adults. This, too, does not often turn out well.

But how do we find the balance in this area?

I have had a couple of different friends ask me about this recently. I thought I might take a few moments to let you know what we do in our home–not that this is the “perfect” formula– but we do have a good relationship with our young adult children (most days) and I thought I would share how we have managed to do that. (And don’t stop reading here if you have young children! The peace we enjoy now is because of some things we did when they were small, which I will talk about in this post, as well).

First, we have given them the control of their personal choices and decisions that are outside our home. They are now old enough to determine where they want to go, who they want to be with, and how to spend their money. It is important for them to experience the consequences of bad choices and the blessing of good choices. If we constantly monitor and rescue, they will experience neither.

Second, we continue to have good conversations and discussions about the things that matter– morals, standards, discernment, world view, budgets, time management. Our kids often ask us for advice and, while they don’t always follow it, they will generally give consideration to what we are saying. The only reason we can do the first thing is because of the second thing.

Third, we continue to hold standards and rules for our home that they must follow if they are going to live here. Some examples of this are, as a general rule, we do not allowed R-rated movies in our home, we do not allow music that is offensive to God to be played aloud, and we do not allow them to come in at all hours of the night. We ask them to be considerate of our preferences in these areas if they choose to live with us. However, we do make exceptions on occasion and, for example, as long as we know they are coming in at 2am and it isn’t happening every day, it is fine.

Fourth, we do not punish our twenty-somethings. We believe that the relationship has moved beyond that. We do not take their cars, their phones, their TV. I do not check up on their phones or their internet use. We can do this because we trust them. With that said, we do “fine” them on occasion!

Fifth: the couple thing. Both of our twenty-somethings are dating. When they first started dating as teenagers, we would really watch over them. We would not allow them in the basement or bedrooms alone and we kept a close eye on them when they were in our home –or driveway ;). It was our way of helping to protect them from themselves. But as they have grown older, we realize that their purity is a reflection of their relationship with God and that they are now accountable to Him, and we have relaxed in this area a bit. But again, we can do this because we trust them.

Sixth, we do require some simple chores to be done. For some reason, young adults feel that they “grow out” of chores, and yet the chores still remain and, in some cases, are enlarged, as the kids become adults. It is very important (in our opinion) to expect the young adult kids to help with chores around the house. It gives them some sense of what to expect in the future (although they truly do not really have a clue!) and also helps to lighten the loads of Mom and Dad a bit. A question some of you might have is what to do about rent. At this point, we do not charge our kids rent. I am still not really sure if this is in their best interest or not, but I see them saving their money and not spending it too unwisely so we feel that this is the best option to give them the best start in their lives. If we felt that they were wasting their money we would probably have to re-visit that.

What we are doing works for us. It works for us because of some really important things we did when our kids were younger. If you have younger kids, start this now, so that your young adults will be joys instead of headaches–

1. Listen. Listen. Listen. Kids of all ages have big questions. Listen to them and then find the answers. Yes, it takes work but it is worth it. Take the time for conversations of substance.

2. Teach your kids about the Lord. Take them to church. Help them hide His Word in their hearts. Make God the priority of your family instead of sports, education, or anything else. Enjoy all of these things, but don’t sacrifice God because of them.

3. Teach them to respect you as an authority, so that when it is time for God to be their final authority they have already developed a spirit of submission and obedience.

4. Make boundaries that are driven by scripture, not by man made traditions. Explain why the boundaries are there and don’t budge if you have scripture as your basis.

5. Be a person they can relate to. It is so important to be humble and admit mistakes. It is so important to be fun and to laugh with your kids. It is so important to show your fear, your sadness, and your joy with them. Only when they realize that you are a fallible human being, just like them, will they be able to open up their hearts to you.

6. Love unconditionally. Let your kids know that there is absolutely nothing they could do that would stop you from loving them.

7. Pray. Alot. I almost always end my parenting posts with this thought. I cannot express just how important I believe this is. Pray for their spiritual welfare. God wants them to know Him. We need to pray for the hearts of our children every day.

Whew. This post covered a lot. That wasn’t my original intention. Hope I didn’t overwhelm you!

Our kids are still growing up and are still making mistakes — kind of like their parents. And as I write this, I don’t want you to think we have it all together — because we so don’t. God’s grace has covered SO much. But if we give our best efforts and make choices with a desire to please Him, we have found that He meets us half-way (or is it a quarter of the way??) and takes it from there. God is good. When we choose to honor Him with our lives and with the way we raise our families, He will guide and sustain us.

Are there some exceptions to this pattern? I know there are and it must be heart-breaking. I do not point fingers of judgment at any who have lost children to the world. Young adults make their own choices. We, as parents, can only do so much. We need to keep loving and praying. Never stop loving and never stop praying. We can pray with confidence because we know that God wants our children to be saved.

May God bless you as you raise your children to love and serve Him!

 

Wise Counsel for A Son

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I came across this the other day. It was written by hymn writer, Paul Gerhardt, who lived from 1607-1676. I found it on the Hope Blog (you can find the original post here). I believe the counsel given here is incredibly wise and timeless– beneficial for both our sons and our daughters, and perhaps even for ourselves. Hope you enjoy this–

Now that I have reached the 70th year of my life and also have the joyful hope that my dear, holy God will soon rescue me out of this world and lead me into a better life than I have had until now on earth, I thank Him especially for all His kindness and faithfulness which, from my mother’s womb until the present hour, He has shown me in body and soul and in all that He has given me. Besides this, I ask Him from the bottom of my heart that when my hour comes He would grant me a happy departure, take my soul into His fatherly hands, and give my body a peaceful rest in the ground until the dear Last Day, when I, with all of my [family] who have been before me and also may remain after me, will reawake and behold my dear Lord Jesus Christ face to face, in whom I have believed but have not yet seen. To my only son whom I am leaving behind I leave few earthly goods, but with them I leave him an honorable name of which he will not have to be ashamed.

My son knows that from his tender childhood I have given him to the Lord my God as His possession, that he is to become a servant and preacher of His holy Word. He is to remain now in this and not turn away from it, even if he has only few good days in it. For the good Lord knows how to handle it and how sufficiently to replace external troubles with internal happiness of the heart and joy of the spirit.

Study holy theology in pure schools and at unfalsified universities and beware of the syncretists [those who mix religions or confessions], for they seek what is temporal and are faithful to neither God nor men. In your common life do not follow evil company but rather the will and command of your God. Especially: (1) Do nothing evil in the hope that it will remain secret, for nothing is spun so small that it is not seen in the light of day. (2) Outside of your office and vocation do not become angry. If you notice that anger has heated you up, remain still and speak not so much as a word until you have first prayed the Ten Commandments and the Christian Creed silently. (3) Be ashamed of the lusts of the flesh, and when you one day come to the years in which you can marry, then marry with God and with the good advice of pious, faithful, and sensible people. (4) Do good to people even if they have nothing with which to repay you, for the Creator of heaven and earth has long since repaid what humans cannot repay: when He created you, when He gave you His beloved Son, and when He accepted you in Holy Baptism as His child and heir. (5) Flee from greed as from hell. Be satisfied with what you have earned with honor and a good conscience, even if it is not all too much. But if the good Lord gives you something more, ask Him to preserve you from the burdensome misuse of temporal goods.

In summary: Pray diligently, study something honorable, live peacefully, serve honestly, and remain unmoved in your faith and confessing. If you do this, you too will one day die and depart from this world willingly, joyfully, and blessedly. Amen.

Source: Christian Bunners, Paul Gerhardt: Weg Werk Wirkung (Goettingen: Vandenhoeck & Ruprecht, 2006), 301-302. Translated by Benjamin T. G. Mayes, 5/4/2007

Who, If Not Us?

IMG_3902revDo you remember when Jell-O was the “in” thing? Oh, I know they still sell it and people still eat it, but in the 70’s Jell-O was really cool. Moms and Grandmas would mix it with cranberries and carrots and maybe a few nuts, add some cool whip or cream cheese, pour it into a mold, and present it as a salad for Thanksgiving. Green salads weren’t really the thing back in the day and so this sugar-laden concoction was the only salad we had at the meal.

Fast forward to now. Some good changes have taken place. Jell-O salad is no longer quite as popular. Green, leafy salads complete with fruits and nuts have moved in to take its place. Oh, we can still find a Jell-O salad occasionally at one of our meals–they are awfully pretty–but it certainly has changed in the last forty years.

As strange as it sounds, it sort of reminds me of Michael Jackson. He was the a cute little kid who sang with his brothers back in the day. As he grew up he became one of the best known artists of the 80’s, raking in millions with his songs “Thriller”, “Billy Jean”, and “Beat It”. Even if you didn’t care for his music, you probably knew who this guy was.

But sometime in the 90s, he fell out of favor. Instead of a big, honored star, he slowly became a pathetic creature that some despised and others pitied.

So why in the world am I talking about Jell-O salads and Michael Jackson?

Here’s why–

Everything will fade away, except for God and His Word. There is no fad that will not fade. There is no movie star who will not grow old and wrinkled. There is no athlete who will stay fit enough to compete at the professional level. There is no car that will not eventually rust.

So why do we give so much time, efforts, money, and energy to these temporal things? We spend hours and hours of our time (and often quite a bit of of our money) —

~caring for our toys (cars, boats, etc.)

~watching popular tv shows and movies

~fishing and hunting

~watching and playing sports

~baking and crafting

~surfing the internet, checking out Facebook, tweeting on Twitter, and pinning on Pinterest

~primping (hair, nails, etc.)

Am I saying that it is wrong to do these things? Absolutely not –unless the thing we are spending our time doing is filled with the things that are offensive to God (as many of the current TV shows and movies are). No, I am not saying that doing these things is wrong, but I guess what I am saying is that perhaps we need to occasionally evaluate how we are spending our time and on what we are spending our money?

I find that if I don’t, on a regular basis, take a moment to evaluate where I am spending all of my time and my money, I will end up wasting a lot of both. It is so easy to invest our God-given resources on stuff that doesn’t matter in the long run.

Finding the balance –and it is a balance–can be tricky. Of course we have some temporal things we have to do, such as caring for our families and homes, caring for our own bodies, and going to work.  We also have the opportunity for leisure time in this culture, used for building relationships and getting needed downtime to re-charge, which is such an incredible blessing.

I am not going to say what the balance is for you because I am still trying to figure out what it is for me.

No, I am not going to give a formula because it is probably different for everyone. But I do know that I, personally, waste  more of my resources of time and money on temporal things than I should.

Have you thought about this recently? Or are you in a rut like I was–where you haven’t evaluated yourself for awhile? Most of what is popular and exciting today will be old and useless 100 years from now. The trends and styles will change. Everything will rust and fade away.  Why do we get so wrapped up in the temporal?

Who is going to spread the gospel to our neighbors and friends, if not us? Who is going to know God’s Word and stand for Truth, if not us? Who is going to teach our children and teens about God, if not us? Who is going to know doctrine and minister in God’s church, if not us? Who is going to pray for revival, if not us? Who is going to tell the world about Jesus, if not us? Perhaps we should use more of our God-given blessings of time and money to live for Jesus Christ.

Only one life, the still small voice, 
Gently pleads for a better choice 
Bidding me selfish aims to leave, 
And to God’s holy will to cleave; 
Only one life, ’twill soon be past, 
Only what’s done for Christ will last.

 

The Party on the Cruise Ship

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It was a beautiful summer evening. The stars were starting to twinkle and the moon was shining brightly. The huge cruise ship sailed through the smooth waters, while the passengers drank and gambled and danced. It was like a giant party.

Meanwhile, a small fishing vessel bobbed nearby. The crew looked with envy and longing at the wonderful time the passengers on the ship seemed to be having. They could hear the laughter and the clinking of wine glasses. They saw young people swaying their bodies to the loud music and couples holding cocktails while they stared out at the sea. It all looked like such a good time. And it was. For awhile.

But, suddenly, a thunderous sound ripped through the night! It was the terrible sound of metal hitting rock. The ship shook and rocked and heaved. Glassed tumbled out of hands and broke as they hit the floor. Some of the partiers went flying over the side of the ship and fell into the cold, unforgiving sea at the sudden movement.

The crew on the little fishing boat watched with horror. The ship had sailed unsuspectingly into a group of rocks that sat treacherously just below the surface of the water. Suddenly, the night noises went from glee and happiness to terror and anguish.

Another fishing boat had been watching. The crew on that ship had watched with concern as they saw the ship steer closer and closer to the rocks they knew were underneath the water. They had tried to radio a warning. They had sent up flares. But all was done in naught. No one on the ship was paying attention.

Except for–over there–was someone waving? Why yes! There was one couple up on the third deck who had seen their warning. They called out to the small vessel and upon understanding the danger that was ahead, chose to heed the warning to get off of the ship in order to save their lives. After trying to warn their fellow passengers and finding themselves completely ignored, the young couple had lowered a life boat and rowed over to the fishing boat and climbed aboard. From this safe place, they joined the small crew in their efforts to save the ship.

Life had changed dramatically in just a few minutes for all on the cruise ship.

So what is the purpose of this little story?

The world is the cruise ship. They are having a great time but heading for sure disaster. And most of them, just like the ship passengers, have no idea.

If we are Christians, we are not on that big ship, nor should we long to be, for we know where it’s headed. Why do so many of us bob around in little boats, dissatisfied with the incredible blessings of a life lived at peace with God, and looking at the ship with envy and longing?

Why aren’t more of us sending up flares and sounding a warning?

Sure, we would never be able to turn the whole ship around but we could help some jump to safety. But most of us are so worried about being like those on the ship — partying it up, having a good time, and keeping temporal things our priority — that we do not bother with the lost souls on the ship. Many of us do not even give their horrible destiny a passing thought.

Why don’t we care?

What boat are you sailing in today? Are you part of the world’s party on the cruise ship having a good time but heading for disaster? Are you on a small boat looking at the world with envy and perhaps even trying to have your own version of the world’s diversions on your own little vessel? Or are you on a boat that is trying desperately to sound a warning and save as many as possible?

Where are you?

 

Wednesday Wisdom: By Our Love

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Sometimes in our quest to stand for the truth, we can find it difficult to love others. We can’t understand why they don’t see things as we do and we get a little ruffled–or sometimes downright rude–when they don’t stand with us for biblical Truth. And so, in our grand efforts to stand for Jesus Christ, we defeat our purpose by lacking love in the process.

Jesus Christ is both Truth AND Love. We cannot present one without the other. They are like two sides of a coin and cannot be separated when we present the Gospel. They cannot be separated when we stand for biblical Truth.

I heard the song below in church on Sunday and the lyrics really made me think. So often we think that loving our fellow man means giving them the necessities of life to help them in their poverty-stricken state– and this is one way to love. But, perhaps, sometimes we need to bring it a little closer to home and think about how we are showing love with our words, our tone, and our attitudes, right here and right now. If we can’t show love in our own homes and churches, it is a little ridiculous to think we will be able to do so on a mission trip in a foreign land.

And so this song made me contemplate my own words and attitudes. Am I showing love in my passion for Biblical Truth? If not, then I am just like a clanging cymbal (I Corinthians 13:1) It is probably a good reminder for us all.

 

BY OUR LOVE (by Christy Nockels)

Brothers, let us come together
Walking in the Spirit, there’s much to be done…
We will come reaching, out from our comforts
And they will know us by our love…

Sisters, we were made for kindness
We can pierce the darkness as He shines through us…
We will come reaching, with a song of healing…
And they will know us by our love!

The time is now
Come Church arise…
Love with His hands
See with His eyes…
Bind it around you,
Let it never leave you,
And they will know us by our love…

Children, You are hope for justice,
Stand firm in the Truth now, set your hearts above
You will be reaching, long after we’re gone,
And they will know you by your love!

 

Find a beautiful youtube video of this song here.

 

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