biblical counsel – Page 18

New Isn’t Always Better (and other lessons I’ve learned about change)

1 Comment / June 11, 2014 June 11, 2014

Sometimes you have to learn really expensive lessons. Sometimes you can fix it, sometimes you can’t.

But, before I talk about my lesson, first let me tell you a story–

The dark green recliner sat on the floor of our local Sam’s Club. It was a great price and we thought it would be a great addition to our living room. So we decided to purchase it. We took it home, very pleased with our bargain.

I loved that chair and spent many hours there, nursing babies and holding sick kids. I even spent the nights there when I had a horrible case of mastitis — yes, you read that right — in terrible pain with a breast infection.

About ten years after we purchased it, we moved to a new house. We took the chair with us, but relegated it to our formal living room and bought new furniture for our family room. It now wasn’t used as often. That room became our homeschooling read-aloud room and so the chair became my place to read to my kids. We read about history and God and science. We played games and argued and laughed, all while I was in that chair.

As the kids became teenagers, that room became the confrontation room. It was where we would go to talk privately with one another. The kids knew that if I asked them to go to the living room, I had something serious to discuss with them. I would sit in that chair and they would sit on the sofa opposite, as we would discuss a problem or concern together.

And, then, as, one by one, they headed off to Christian school and college, that chair became the place where I would read the Bible and pray every morning. During my busy homeschooling years, I wasn’t always able to make the time I wanted for the Lord. My time was often with the kids — teaching them to pray and to learn God’s Word. But, suddenly, one day I realized that I actually had the time to spend quietly with the Lord each day and so it was in that chair that I spent many hours reading His Word and petitioning the Lord.

Then, one day, I looked down and saw that the chair was torn.

What a sad day.

I knew I was going to have to replace it, eventually, so I started keeping my eyes open for a new recliner — a leather one this time.

The first furniture store had nothing that thrilled me. The chairs were either too soft or too hard (do I sound like Goldilocks??) or too expensive.

On a whim, I stopped at a furniture store on the way home from a soccer game. The first chair I sat in was perfect and was on sale! I sat in a few more but kept going back to the first one. Yes, that was my new chair. I purchased it and told them someone would be there to pick it up later in the week.

A few days later, my beloved green recliner was removed from my room and the new leather one was put in its place. Oh, joy! I couldn’t wait for my devotions the next morning to sit in my new chair!

Oh, I feel foolish now. I feel foolish even sharing this story. For when I sat in that new chair it wasn’t even comfortable. I squirmed this way and that, but it just wasn’t the same. I got off of it and shifted it to the right. I tried it with the foot rest up and with it down. Nope. It just wasn’t all that comfortable. How could I have made such a mistake? I had a very difficult time concentrating on my devotions that morning.

As the day progressed, I talked myself into believing that it was just in my head and I would get used to it. After all, every piece of furniture takes some breaking in. So, with renewed diligence, I was determined to make this chair work as I sat in it the next morning. But, alas, it felt the same as the morning before. Now, what to do?

And that’s the end of the story. Because I am still not sure what I am going to do. Just get used to the chair? After all, we paid good money for it. Or bring back the old one and sell the new one at a slight loss? And while that’s a possibility, I can’t change the fact that the old one is falling apart and I am going to have to get used to a new one eventually.

There are so many thoughts that surround this incident in my life that I am having a hard time narrowing it down to just one–

1. New isn’t always better. Sometimes we yearn for a change to happen in our life. We think “if only” or “when that happens” and then when we are finally there, it isn’t near as great as we thought it would be.

2. Sometimes change needs to occur. It isn’t pleasant or fun but it is necessary.

3. Sometimes change doesn’t need to occur but we push and push for it because we are impatient and don’t want to be labeled “stuck in the mud” or “traditional”.

4. How do we change without changing what really matters?

5. With all change comes our new normal and it doesn’t take us very long to grow used to it. I just read somewhere (and, boy, do I wish I remember exactly where!) about people’s amazing ability to get used to almost any circumstance in their lives. We start living in the new normal. I think this is the case with Evangelical Christianity. We have gotten so used to the departure from scripture, the inclusion of Catholics and Mormons under the label “Christian”, the lack of standards and morals and holiness, the feel-good and shallow worship, that we have become used to this new normal and accept it as normal. But while it may be our new normal, it isn’t anything close to biblical Christianity.

My mom mentioned yesterday, as we were driving home from the mall, that when she was a girl, it was made quite clear to her that Catholicism was not the same as Evangelical Christianity. The church taught very specifically that we do not believe the same things and that they are two separate religions (which they are). And yet, now, if you try to say that you are immediately branded as someone who causes division and disunity. Because we have gotten used to a new normal and in that new normal, we have forgotten–or choose to ignore– hundreds of years of church history. And this is tragic.

We also talked about how Christians of old were concerned about their behavior. You didn’t dare call yourself a Christian if your behavior didn’t match. And so no one assumed you were a Christian if your behavior was characterized by worldly entertainment and vices. Now, in our new normal, everything is okay and even sanctioned under the word grace. This false definition of grace will leave a lot wondering why they are still here when the rapture occurs. With true grace comes repentance and life transformation. It could not be clearer in scripture (2 Corinthians 5:17). It is a lie that we can continue in our old activities and lifestyle and be saved. And, yet, that has become normal. See what I’m getting at here?

And here is what I’ve learned. No one wants to hear this stuff. It is negative and offensive and uncomfortable.

People may read this post but they won’t like it and they certainly won’t share it. They may even agree with it, but they won’t share it for fear of offending someone (another new “norm” we have grown used to — don’t dare offend anyone lest we be labeled or become susceptible to uncomfortable discussions).

I am weary of this new normal, quite honestly. But I do believe it is here to stay. So now we learn to live –and even thrive– in it. If we respond to this right, it could become a wonderful culture to grow in Christ.

And I go back again to God’s Word. If we know it and are studying it, then so much becomes clear that is clouded otherwise. If you want to truly thrive in this increasingly hostile culture, then study and know God’s Word. It is the only thing we have in this desert of modern Christianity. I hate to even call it Christianity because it isn’t even real Christianity. It’s some shapeless, relative, false religion that has no resemblance to Christ’s teachings whatsoever.

Do I expect this to be one of my more popular posts? No, not at all. But, please, keep your eyes open in your churches and your homes. Be discerning! Satan is using any and all means possible to deceive us and to render us ineffective for the cause of Christ. Don’t let that happen to you.

And so that is the story and my subsequent thoughts on switching a simple chair. And I don’t really even know the end of that story yet. I guess I’ll go try it again this morning and see if I can get used to a new normal!

Crossing the Barrier

4 Comments / June 9, 2014 June 9, 2014

What is true love?

Is it the butterflies you feel in your tummy when that cute guy or gal says a few words to you?

Is it that feeling of flying after your first date with the future love of your life?

Is it the comfortable feeling you get when surrounded by family members?

Is it shown by cards, gifts, and flowers?

What is true love?

I recently heard John MacArthur say something like this —

True love can only happen when we cross the barrier of our emotions.

Wow.

Yes. That’s it.

We can’t truly love someone until we can cross the barrier of our emotions.

Our emotions can be so misleading, can’t they? They tell us we love someone when we think good things about them or have good feelings towards them. They tell us we no longer love them when we think hateful things about them or have angry feelings towards them.

And yet true love has nothing to do with emotions. Only when we cross this enormous barrier of emotions can we experience true love.

I think it may be especially hard because we have been conditioned to live our lives based on our emotions. From easy access to abortions and no-fault divorces to the feeling-driven worship in our churches — we have based almost all of our actions on our feelings. Very little value is placed on deliberate actions taken that go against our feelings. Very little value is placed on forcing our thoughts to go a different direction than our feelings take us.

And, yet…

that leads to shallow living on all accounts. And not very much love.

God doesn’t really care about how we feel as we sway to the music of the worship team. He doesn’t care how we feel when we hold the hand of our newest love. While I am sure he delights in that, his main concern is our obedience. And obedience comes at a great price.

But only with obedience (which will mean turning away from our emotions) can we truly understand what love really is.

There are many times I do not feel like I love my husband. But those feelings always pass. I cannot rely on them to be the barometer of my love for him.

Life is hard, but it is made much harder by the fact that we base so much of our lives and life-changing decisions on our feelings.

We need to cross that barrier — and, yes, it takes purposeful and diligent work to do so — to experience true love as God designed it.

The Snake in the Garden

Leave a Comment / June 2, 2014 June 2, 2014

Your initial thought as you read the title of this post may be that this is some philosophical observation regarding the original snake in the original garden. The title kind of lends itself to that interpretation. But if you were looking forward to that, you will be disappointed. This particular snake was in my garden. Let me tell you the story–

It was a beautiful day and I was excited to see how my garden was doing. It had been a brutal winter –much more so than usual– so I had been keeping a close eye on my fruit plants to see what had returned (amazingly, all but a couple of the blueberry bushes survived! And, honestly, those two bushes didn’t look all that healthy before winter arrived…) I had also planted some tomatoes and peppers a few days before, so I was checking on them, as well.

I walked across my yard in anticipation — and in blessed ignorance. You see, I had never once in the years I had been gardening even seen a snake among the square foot boxes my husband had built. I was almost upon the garden, when my eye caught some movement.

The 4′ (or was it longer??) striped garter snake must have been as surprised as I was! As soon as it became aware of my presence it slid away so fast that my eyes couldn’t even follow it. At that point, I realized that I had no idea where its den was or where it regularly spends its days.

Now. This was certainly a new and rather dreadful thing to ponder. It meant that in my garden–at any moment!– I could come upon one of these detestable creatures.

Of course I knew there were a few harmless snakes about our property. This was not a surprise to me. But I did not know that they spent any time in my garden. I thought they kept themselves hidden far away from the areas where I live and work. That day I was made aware that this assumption was rather naive and demonstrated my ignorance.

And the next time I approached that garden it was with my eyes wide open and the expectation that there may be a snake there.

In fact, any time I go to the garden now, it is with a whole new outlook. No longer do I feel blissfully safe from reptiles, but, instead, I am fully aware that I may very well be surprised by one of those slithering creatures that give me the heebie-jeebies and I’d better prepare myself for it!

Ahhh–as so often happens– this incident brought an analogy readily to mind. I couldn’t help but compare this to our spiritual lives. You will often hear people say that they only want to focus on God’s love and the good things in life. Let’s just ignore Satan, demons, and anything negative. Pretend like it’s not there.

The problem with this is that just because we ignore him doesn’t mean he isn’t there. Just because we pretend he doesn’t exist, doesn’t mean he isn’t prowling about, working behind the scenes. When we are fully aware of his presence and that he is seeking to devour and destroy, we will approach our lives and ministries differently. If we live in blissful ignorance and pretend he’s not there, we become very vulnerable to his bite.

And –quite unlike a harmless garter snake bite– Satan’s bite is of the worst kind, filled with deadly poison. We can’t afford to live in ignorance but, instead, need to recognize that we are in a world where we have an enemy. Things are not all good and happy and “hunky-dory”, nor will they ever be until we reach our home in glory (Revelation 21:1-4).

The snake in my garden was a great reminder that danger lurks everywhere and just because we don’t see it, doesn’t mean it isn’t there. I’d better make sure I have my armor on so that I can withstand the arrows pointed at me (Ephesians 6:11).

2 Corinthians 2:11
2 Corinthians 11:14
I Peter 5:8

Bad Passion

Leave a Comment / May 27, 2014 May 27, 2014

I first noticed the lady sitting over in the waiting area. I didn’t think too much about her, except to feel bad that my Ukrainian friend, my mother, and I were keeping all the nail salon workers busy as they gave us pedicures. She would have to wait awhile.

But before the owner of the salon started my friend’s pedicure, she ran the water for the lady’s pedicure in the chair that sat directly across from mine and directed her to come back, relax in the massage chair, and put her feet in the warm water while she waited.

I watched as she settled in with a magazine. She had short, steel-colored hair, dark tanned skin, and didn’t seem to smile much. I turned my attention back to my friend and mom and didn’t give her much thought after that.

As we sat there, relaxing, our conversation covered many topics. We were thoroughly enjoying one another’s company, especially since we hadn’t all been together for three years.

After awhile, the salon owner started asking us questions about our lives and we reciprocated interest in her life, as well. She shared that she had moved to the United States from Viet Nam when she was 36. That was twelve years ago and she had spent her first couple of years in a different state. She then went on to share how the people in our current town were so much friendlier and seemingly a lot less worried about classes and status than where she had come from.

At that point, I made some kind of light-hearted statement about life being way too short to be worried about how much money someone makes or what family they come from.

Well.

That must have lit a fire under the chair of the lady across from me. Her face became animated as, unasked, she joined our conversation, agreeing with what I had said. She then went on to vehemently state how much she hates the area we live in. In fact, she had moved away many years ago and sounded like that was the best decision she had ever made. She listed about a dozen reasons of why she hated her hometown. Actually, they were pretty much all the same reason, stated in a variety of ways. This went on for an inordinate amount of time and was rather annoying as she continued to bash our town with gusto.

She went on to tell us that her father used to be some high-up executive in the local factory and how people use you when you are in a position like that.

Aha. Now we were getting somewhere. I made an educated guess that someone had used her to get something from her father and, judging by her reaction, it had caused a deep and painful gash in her heart.

As we sat with our toes under the UV light a little later, leaving Miss Negative in her chair at the back of the salon, we put our heads together and whispered about how odd that experience was. My dear Ukrainian friend summed it up best: “She had so much Bad Passion!”

Oh, what a great way to put it. This bitter woman was filled with “bad passion”. I wondered what had caused all of that hurt and bitterness directed towards an inanimate town and all of its inhabitants. Now I have met a few snobs (and worse) in my years here, but I’ve met an awful lot of really nice people, too. Unfortunately, this woman has closed her eyes to anything good from her hometown.

As I thought about this woman later on, I just felt pity for her.

All of us get hurt. All of us get used. This is especially true if you have something other people do not. If you have more money, more beauty, more talent, more connections, more anything, you can be pretty sure someone will use you. If you don’t know how to say no, someone will probably use you. And almost all of us get betrayed at one time or another. This is life. At least here on earth.

But we shouldn’t let these incidents color our whole world black. There are still lots of good people and good things for which to be thankful.

While this lady ranted on and on, I smiled and nodded, not saying much. Truthfully, I was at a loss as to what to say. After we left the salon, we talked about what we should have said.

But my mom summed it up pretty well, “she was the kind that wouldn’t have listened, anyway.” And my mom did have a point. This bitter woman’s negative viewpoint did seem firmly embedded in her heart and mind.

Oh, the sweeping accusations and generalizations we make when we get hurt. We not only hurt ourselves, but we end up hurting others, too.

Why do we do this? Why do we allow one or two or ten people to change how we feel about a whole town? Or a whole race? Or a whole state? We really need to open our eyes to just how foolish this is.

And I go back to my original statement: Life is just too short for stuff like this.

When Worry Overtakes Us

2 Comments / May 22, 2014 May 22, 2014

Sometimes fear just grips us. The “what-if’s” crowd our mind and, if we aren’t careful, we become enveloped by worry and doubts.

There are so many things to worry about, aren’t there?

Health

Finances

Children

Our government

Our culture

What others think of us

Job situation

Church situation

Relationships

Really, there is no end to the list of things we can worry about.

I can’t remember if I shared this before on the blog, but I want you to know that as a young woman I had an all-out battle with my flesh over this sin of worry (yes, I called it a sin). I would lay trembling and sweating in my bed because I was so scared of something that “could” happen. My mind would dwell for hours on the “what-ifs” and I would waste much God-given time on these thoughts. They were all-encompassing and would render me helpless.

This lasted for many years. Oh, I still lived a normal life and most people had no idea of what was going on inside my head. But I knew that the chains of worry had wrapped me tight and that I desperately needed to break free.

That was years ago, but I was reminded of this battle recently as this sin has loomed onto my horizon again after all these years.

I think as we get older, the things to worry about almost multiply and grow bigger. Instead of worrying about a child’s safety, we start worrying more about their eternal destiny. Along with worrying about finances, we become fully aware that we aren’t going to live forever and we can start worrying more about our health and death. Reality hits us square in the face and we see that there aren’t many happy endings in this world. Grandchildren bring more loved ones to worry about. And, of course, if we listen to the news, there is no end of things to worry about.

As a young woman, I was able to overcome this sin of worry through prayer and the Holy Spirit. Through that battle I learned some practical ways that helped me on a daily–even hourly– basis–

1. I ask myself “What’s the worst that can happen?” Sometimes the worst that can happen is really awful (at that point I move on to 2 and 3), but many times it is just something that is silly. For instance, if I need to speak or play a piano solo I can get really worried about messing up. But if I realize that the worst that can happen is that I make a fool of myself and then life moves on, it helps me to put that particular worry into perspective.

2. Train my mind to turn away from thoughts of “what if?” This was not easy to do, but once I developed this habit, it was by far the most helpful thing for me in this battle with worry. When my mind would start dwelling on the health issue and turn toward all its possible outcomes or when my mind would think about problems I was having with a child and then toward what that could mean for the child’s future, I trained myself to just stop thinking about the future and come back to the present. Now, I do recognize that is SO much easier to write than to do. But it is possible.

And one more thing to add here. Many years after my initial battle with worry, I realized that I started feeling heavy with worry after I would watch the news. The sad stories would depress me and the reports of random violence and increased socialism in this country would fill my heart with fear. At that point, I made the choice to stop watching the news. Oh, I still keep up with the important stuff, mostly via my family (who tell me anything going on that is news-worthy). But I made a conscious decision to stop watching on a nightly basis because of my personal battle with worry. Some of you can handle it just fine and that’s good. But I couldn’t.

3. Acknowledge and submit to the sovereignty of God. My brother (Pastor Dean) says that this is one of the most important aspects in our walk with God. As I have been studying scripture on my own, I realize that he is right. We cannot even be saved without this. Humility (by recognizing our sinful state) is the first step of salvation. But it doesn’t end with salvation. We continue to submit to God’s sovereignty as we walk with Him. It is the only way to have peace and joy and freedom from this sin of worry.

(As we grow older, it does help that we have experiences of God’s faithfulness to us during the hard times. We can see how He worked through difficult and heart-breaking situations and brought us through to the other side. Sometimes we can see the good that came out of those situations, but many times we can’t. But we recognize His strength and comfort and peace during that time and it helps us to face the next difficult time that comes along. Reading biographies of Christian men and women or having conversations with them is also very faith-building. God has worked in incredible ways through some very impossible circumstances.)

There is so much more that could be written about the sovereignty of God. If this is something you struggle with, I would suggest you read the book: The Sovereignty of God by A.W. Pink. This helped me tremendously to have a better understanding of God’s sovereignty. In fact, this book was so helpful, it is included on my Books Worth Reading page.

These three things helped me tremendously as a young woman and for many years I didn’t really struggle with worry. But it reared its ugly head again just recently, as my mind started dwelling on all of the changes we are experiencing in this country and the ramifications of these changes. I find myself going back to square one and trying to put into practice these three things once again. I thought I’d share them here, in hopes that you, too, might find them helpful.

Do you struggle with worry? Do you have something to add to this list that might help us, too? I would love to hear how you have overcome your battle with this sin.

A Look Back

3 Comments / May 16, 2014 May 16, 2014

In just a few short weeks my oldest daughter will be getting married. My dining room is filled with boxes and wedding supplies as she prepares for her big day. She and her fiance are busy fixing up an old house they were able to purchase. It is fun to watch them together, as they work on wedding plans and prepare to start their new life together. But it is also frustrating because my daughter lives here and her stuff is here, but she isn’t really here. Know what I mean?

And I wondered how I felt the summer before my August wedding? Was I as in love? Were my parents frustrated with me?

But I didn’t have to just wonder. I could actually look back. Because, as you may already know, most writers journal. And so I have some kind of record of my feelings about life since about 5th grade. I have pulled out those journals every great once in awhile as I have raised my teen girls.

So a few nights ago I decided to pull out my journal from the summer of 1988. I had not read those words since I had written them. It was strange to read the words of my former self. I am the same person. And yet, I am not the same person.

In those pages, I read about events and relationship dynamics that I had totally forgotten. And guess what? I had some of the typical problems with my parents, too, as an adult living at home. Only I had a different perspective back then. I had not remembered any of that.

It was also interesting to see what I had written about my future husband and myself and the problems I anticipated us having as we headed off into marriage. And all these years later, I could see that I was right. They were the problems that we have faced over and over again in our marriage.

As I told my husband about my insight into our future as a 22 year old, he jokingly said, “well, I guess you shouldn’t have married me.”

But I can honestly say that never crossed my mind. I’d marry him all over again in a heartbeat. And so I responded, “If it wouldn’t have been those problems, then it would’ve been different ones.”

Yes, we have issues. Every marriage does. There is no perfect relationship. (Why do we think there will be? Could it be the romance novels we read? Or the chick flicks we watch? Why in the world are our expectations so high?)

But we work through them, one step at a time, with candor, forgiveness, a sense of humor, and total commitment.

And how gratifying to realize almost 26 years later, that we have made some progress. We are not the same people we were when I was writing all those years ago. We have changed and matured and become just a little bit more like Jesus as we have added years. Oh, those flaws flare up and still stare us both in the face sometimes, but it isn’t as often. And it isn’t as severe.

I don’t know if you have your life recorded in journals. If you do, why not pull one out and take a few moments and look back? See how far you’ve come. If you don’t, then just take a few moments and think about how far you’ve come. Whether you are 25 or 95, think about your past years. Has your marriage relationship improved over the years? Have you become more like Jesus? Praise the Lord if the answer is yes. The Holy Spirit is working to sanctify you, just as we believers are promised in scripture (I Peter 1:2). But if it is no, don’t despair! Start today to create a new future! One step at a time. It is never too late! (And remember, real and lasting change can only be found after our relationship with God has been made right. If you don’t know Him personally, please click here.)

Our future is created one moment at a time. We are given choices each and every day–we can choose our attitude, our responses, our reactions — and these small choices are what creates the person we will become.

I didn’t think so deeply back when I was writing that summer of 1988. I didn’t realize all of this. Now, looking back, I can see that the prayers of my parents and grandparents helped to keep me on the right track. So that’s my second point. Pray for your kids and grandkids. There is so much we don’t understand when we are young. And most of us don’t want to listen to anyone tell us about life. Let’s cover the young people we love with much prayer.

It was interesting to take a look back. And in some ways I’m jealous. Starting out in life sounds fun and exciting. But then I realize– I wouldn’t really want to go back and learn everything all over again. So, here I am, middle-aged and headed into the future. Still determined to become more like Jesus through the little choices I make every day. Failing daily, but always brushing myself off and starting over again!

So Who Knew?

4 Comments / May 5, 2014 May 5, 2014

So who knew that for the past two thousand years the church fathers were so wrong? I mean if we believe what the modern day “Christian” leaders tell us, they got more things wrong than right —

–7 Literal Day Creation (Genesis 1)

Modern Approach: They had that all wrong. God just starting the ball rolling and put it in motion. They weren’t literal days.

–Women should not be in church leadership (I Timothy 2:11-12)

Modern Approach: That was all about the culture of the time and has no bearing on today.

–We should separate from the world (I John 2:15-17; James 1:27)

Modern Approach: The exact opposite, we actually need to be like the world to win the world.

–We should be holy (I Peter 1:15-16)

Modern Approach: Holiness isn’t any big deal, it’s love that matters.

–There is a literal hell (Matthew 10:28)

Modern Approach: A loving God would never send anyone to hell.

–Church is designed to grow and encourage believers (Colossians 3:15-16)

Modern Approach: The church is a very hip, safe place to bring our unsaved friends, where they won’t feel judged or uncomfortable and may (or may not) hear the true gospel.

And the most recent— Homosexuality is a sin before God (Romans 1:24-27)

Modern Approach: We may have gotten that all wrong. After all, gay “Christians” are some of the nicest people around.

Oh, dear brothers and sisters, how we have strayed so far from the Word of God. We are relying on the tainted words of so-called leaders to shape and form our doctrine. We listen to songs and popular authors and they redefine what we think about God and His Word. It happens so slowly we don’t even realize it.

In the last fifty to one hundred years, the modern “church” (and I use quotes because I do not believe it is the true church) has turned away from almost every basic doctrine of scripture. The only thing that is left is love and the cross. And some are even turning away from the cross, encompassing anyone who believes in anything as heaven-bound.

Does anyone else find this incredibly disturbing?

But it is also refreshing. And here is why–

I was thinking about this as I read this article about the Jars of Clay band, that is supposedly a Christian group. One of the group members had a series of tweets that very clearly showed that he believes scripture is irrelevant when determining morality. You can read about it yourself, but something someone said in response to him is very worth sharing here–

“This issue will separate the true Bible believers from those who put experience or personal relationships above Scripture, and while it might result in some real challenges for those who hold to the Word, this could be just what the church of America needs today: a wake-up call to arise from our apathy and man-centered, what’s-in-it-for-me gospel, and a determination to follow Jesus regardless of cost or consequence,” Brown said.

We desperately need this wake-up call. For way too long we have straddled the fence, trying to play both sides. The time for that is over. We either believe what the Bible says or we don’t. We cannot have it both ways.

John MacArthur puts it this way in the monthly letter I receive from Grace to You–

But now, with the facade of cultural Christianity crumbling, true Christianity is starting to stand out in a way it hasn’t in our lifetime. Scripture teaches and church history confront that the Body of Christ is most potent and most effective when it simply speaks and lives the gospel without equivocation or apology. With the mask of superficial Christianity gone, I believe the best days of the spread of the true gospel are ahead of us.

The gospel advances by personal testimony to Christ, one soul at a time. When the church acts like the church; when shepherds preach Scripture and confront error with clarity and boldness; when believers are sanctified, built up, and equipped in truth; people are saved. And that’s when the culture truly changes — nothing transforms the culture like genuine conversion.

For far too long we have lived in the muddy waters of a shallow Christianity in this country. As long as you said “the prayer” you can do or be whoever you like and still consider yourself saved. But this is not what scripture teaches. And as the chasm between true Bible believers and those who follow their own man-made, people-pleasing God widens, we can and should expect that life is going to get a bit harder for us. We are no longer mainstream and we are going to need to adjust. We are quickly and consistently getting slapped with labels like “intolerant”, “prejudiced” and even “dangerous”.

Buckle your seat belt and hang on, because I am pretty sure we are in for a rough ride. But just you watch and see God work in amazing ways! I am already seeing Him work in individual lives, drawing them to Himself. He is real and alive and He is faithful!

And, in case you haven’t heard me say this before, get into God’s Word for yourself.

Hebrews 4:12 For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.

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“This issue will separate the true Bible believers from those who put experience or personal relationships above Scripture, and while it might result in some real challenges for those who hold to the Word, this could be just what the church of America needs today: a wakeup call to arise from our apathy and man-centered, what’s-in-it-for-me gospel, and a determination to follow Jesus regardless of cost or consequence,” Brown said.
Read more at http://www.wnd.com/2014/05/pro-gay-jars-of-clay-singerschooled-by-christian-leaders/#D9KgrlTsxROeuJsc.99

Are We Guilty of Treating the Bible like a Ouija Board?

Leave a Comment / May 1, 2014 December 2, 2014

“I can’t figure this out. Both words work. How do I know which one it should be?” The young man asking the question was staring at the Spanish worksheet on his desk. He was to underline which word fit the sentence best.

I was substitute teaching a Spanish class, which was no easy task for me, as my complete knowledge of Spanish is derived from four years of high school Spanish, a few trips to Spanish-speaking countries, and several levels of the Duolingo App.

And here was an example of exactly why I wasn’t sure I had wanted to do this. I knew I wouldn’t be able to answer questions, especially for the more advanced classes. With my limited knowledge, I decided to try and help the student to answer his question. I read, as best I could, the entire paragraph that included the sentence. I then examined the picture above the paragraph and looked up the two word options in my Spanish dictionary. Upon doing all of this, I realized that, while both words would certainly make sense, only one of the words made any sense at all when taking into consideration the context of the paragraph.

What a great example of how we should approach scripture! I heard a preacher say the other day that so many of us Christians treat God’s Word like a Ouija Board. We open it and expect God to magically show us the exact right verse that will guide and direct us.

But that’s not how it works. We can only truly understand what the Bible says if we take the time to study the context of each verse and passage. But that means we must give our time and effort. And most of us have been conditioned to want answers the fast and easy way.

Recently, A friend shared with me something that had happened to her son. He was put in a college class with a professor that wanted nothing more than to prove Christianity wrong. This woman attempted to crush any young believers in her class by using the Bible itself. The young man left her class stunned and full of questions. Was everything he had been taught his whole life a lie??

Thankfully, he decided to study for himself. He got into the Word to try to sort through it all. What a wise young man. What he discovered is that his professor had taken verses out of context and, thus, had totally warped their meanings. What he found was that God and His Word are absolutely trustworthy and that all he had been taught his whole life is true.

You see, we can come up with any message we want to out of the Bible if we ignore context. This is why you have all of these “new” interpretations of scripture that insist that some things are not sin that we thought were sin for the last two thousand years and, its counterpart, some things that are sin in these modern times, that have never been defined as sin before. Fallen man, without the aid of the Holy Spirit, can contrive the Bible to say anything he wants. It is only through careful study and a humble heart that we can really know what the Bible says.

God’s Word is living and active (Hebrews 4:12) and when we study it properly it will change our lives. But if we study it haphazardly or to prove a personal point, we have rendered it almost useless. The Bible is not a Ouija board. It is the inerrant, inspired Word of God given to us, His people. Let’s treat it as such and study it with the respect and awe it deserves.

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Dealing with Difficult People

6 Comments / April 28, 2014 April 28, 2014

Have you ever had to deal with someone you just couldn’t make happy? Or perhaps it is someone who lies constantly, is consistently unkind, or very angry? Or maybe they just absolutely exhaust you by telling you all of their woes? Sometimes, if they are friends, we can gently extricate ourselves from these relationships. But, many times, we can’t. We may go to church together. Or we may work together. More often than not, our difficult relationships are within our own families.

So what then?

So often we continue to live with a sense of constant frustration in this state of affairs. When someone is affecting our personal peace or happiness, we can get really annoyed. But how should we look at these situations?

I have floundered in this area for years. If I was struggling in a relationship, I would grow irritated and hopeless. But then, a few months ago, I heard this sentence in a sermon–

We need to look at difficult people as the tools God uses to shape us to look more like Jesus.

Ever since that time, my whole viewpoint has changed. You see, I used to view these relationships as obstacles that were keeping me from looking like Jesus–unnecessary extra baggage that kept tempting me and causing me to fail (notice my finger of blame was pointed at them, not myself…)

But this one sentence clarified for me that I had it all wrong. ALL wrong. These people in my life are there to help, not hinder, my walk with Christ.

Because I have this new perspective, it changes everything. Oh, I still grow frustrated and annoyed, but I can see the big picture now. Instead of incidents seeming pointless and ridiculous, I see them as challenges I need to rise up and meet as Jesus would have.

I know this is so easy to say in principle. Some of you are almost buried underneath dysfunctional families or bad work situations. This isn’t an easy thing to live for any of us, but for some of you it probably feels impossible. I hope that this helps, at least a little.

You see, we can’t change anyone but ourselves. But, by the power of the Holy Spirit, we can change ourselves. Let’s rise up and meet the challenge of personal change instead of being so worried about the pointless, fruitless endeavor of changing the other person.

Some Things We Must Let Go

2 Comments / April 24, 2014 April 24, 2014

So, on Monday my post was titled Don’t Let It Go. I wrote it because I was checking the lyrics of the popular song to see if there was any phrase I could use for the post I am about to write right now. Instead I found new age nonsense. But, while we certainly shouldn’t let any opportunity to discern go by us, there are a few things that we really do need to let go. Like grudges.

Recently, my husband and I ran into a couple we know. We are very aware of the fact that this couple doesn’t particularly like us and hasn’t for many years. The thing is–we have never figured out exactly why. Oh, we have some guesses and assumptions, but we have never had a sit-down conversation as to why they hold us in such low esteem.

So, when my husband offered his right hand to the woman to shake hers in a gesture of friendliness, we weren’t surprised. You see, while she lifted her hand in a limp shake, she would not look into my husband’s eyes. She kept staring straight ahead. Like he wasn’t there. Because she doesn’t like him. But we don’t know why.

Our families and church families are FILLED with these scenarios. This person doesn’t like that person, often because of something that happened a very long time ago.

And there are two perspectives in these situations to consider — the grudge holder’s and the one the grudge is being held against (hereon out to be referred to as the “grudgee”). I’ve been both, so I thought I’d share a few things I’ve learned.

As Grudge Holder

This one I find to be a ginormous waste of personal energy. As I tell my kids, life is just too short for grudges. Oh, I have people that I do not see eye to eye with, but I am learning to view them with more grace as I grow older. Unbelievers are so much easier. I expect them to hurt me, to revile me, and to be unkind. They are not living by God’s law and I shouldn’t expect them to. I find the hurts dealt by Christian brothers and sisters to be much more painful and challenging to get over. But, here again, grace is the word that comes to mind. Do I know what experiences or trials have led that person to be unkind or to make that choice? And, let’s be honest, do I even know if that person calling him or herself a believer is a genuine believer? There are so many who use the label, but do not truly understand the depth of their sin and the payment for that sin at the cross.

I have had a long and challenging journey in this area. I have learned to just ask God to fill me with His love for those I find so hard to love on my own. And a big part of healing in this area, if we struggle with it, is to control our thoughts. You see, Satan just gets in there and twists and turns and makes every offense even worse than it really was. In fact, sometimes we find offense where there was absolutely none intended.

I believe that grudges cause destruction. I have seen the horrible wreckage and wastelands of families and churches that have been ripped apart by grudges. It is so tragic. And, for some reason I cannot figure out, it seems to be a totally and completely excusable sin in our churches. Why is this okay?

Now the other thing that I have found myself tempted to do is to “Christianize” my grudge. I will hold ill will in my heart towards someone and rationalize why I am sure God must understand, and perhaps even give His blessing, to it. Of course, this is ridiculous. Even if we are standing for righteousness, it gives us no excuse to hold ill will against a particular person. Jesus Christ, as he headed to the cross, set the best example for us, didn’t He? I Peter 2:23 tells us this about the Savior–

who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously.

He set the perfect example by not only reacting in a calm and gracious manner, but by showing us that we are to commit our wills and desires to God, who judges all things righteously and can take care of the person that is hurting us (Romans 12:19).

Bottom Line: Grudges are unacceptable for a believer (Ephesians 4:31-32; Leviticus 19:18; Mark 11:25). Grudges are also a big waste of time and energy.

As Grudgee

Okay, so yes, I know “grudgee” isn’t a word, but exactly what is the concise word for being the person that a grudge is held against? So, I will just call it this.

I have had much experience with this one, as my big and thoughtless mouth has often gotten me into a spot of trouble. I say things before I think and find, sometimes YEARS later, that something I said has caused a person to hold a grudge against me all this time. Usually I find this out via a friend of a friend. It is rarely from the person herself.

My reaction to this has changed quite a bit over the years. Let me share.

Let me say this first– I work very hard to be more careful with my words and my tone. I do not have this down 100%, by any means, but I recognize my tendency and really try to remember this when I am talking to people. But I am sure I still inevitably frustrate and offend people. And God tells us that all of us who are believers should actually expect to offend people when we share the gospel (2 Corinthians 2:15-16). So this is something we have probably all dealt with at one time or another.

Here are a few things I have learned about being the grudgee. First, I recognize that I have control over only one part of this situation — myself and my reaction. We can feel pretty helpless in the shadow of someone’s hostility towards us. Some of us grow angry right back at that person, others of us try to just ignore it, and some of us work so hard to fix it and find ourselves filled with disappointment and bitterness when the “happy ending” we long for isn’t forthcoming. But what is a biblical response? A lot of what I wrote above is also applicable here (Jesus’s example, the verses given), so I won’t repeat myself. But here are a few more specifics —

1. Love the grudge holder. Jesus tells us in Matthew 5:44, that we are to love our enemies. If someone hates us we are to return that hate with love. Sometimes that feels humanly impossible. That is because it is. Here again, I have learned to ask God to fill me with His love, because, on my own, I am empty. Responding with love is difficult, but if we can do it, we are a tremendous testimony of God’s working in our lives. Because this is so outside our human nature, we shine like a giant spotlight in pitch black darkness when we love those who hate us.

2. Pray for the grudge holder. I don’t know how this works, but if we can sincerely lift the grudge holder before God and pray for their salvation or spiritual growth, it changes how you feel about them. Somehow this process gives us more grace to deal with this person.

3. Do something kind for the grudge holder. Now if you do not run into this grudge holder regularly, this might be awkward. But if it is someone you see at church or it is a family member, go out of your way to be nice. I have a friend who often used this phrase, when faced with similar situations: kill them with kindness. Yes! What wisdom! Do you know how hard it is to hate someone who is so nice to you? It will often make a difference.

These things are not easy to do. In fact, they are very difficult. Our feelings cry out in opposition, and yet, if we can choose to obey, in spite of our feelings, the reward is tremendous. No, sometimes, it doesn’t work out the way we want. This is not a cure-all for relationships. The reward is not always a happy ending. But one guaranteed reward is always peace. Peace because we have done the right thing, according to God’s Word (Matthew 5:44). Peace because, as much as it is up to us, we have strived to live in peace (Romans 12:18). And peace because we have followed our Savior’s example (I Peter 2:23).

Bottom Line: We need to love the grudge holder and let the rest up to God.

These are hard things to talk about and most of us are caught up in it in one way or another. Many of us are caught up in both ways. I would love to hear what you have learned and the biblical wisdom you have gained through your own experiences? I am sure I have not covered this whole subject of grudges in completion. Please leave a comment below to help fill in the gaps :)