Have you ever thought about just how powerful trust is? If we trust someone, we will —
1. Want to be like them.
2. Believe what they tell us about others.
3. Believe what they tell us about the world.
For example, think about someone you really trust and admire. If they told you something about someone, would you believe them? I had the “privilege” of hearing two sides of a personal confrontation a few months ago. Each side had their own personal interpretation on what had happened and were influencing people’s opinions of the other person by the tale they were telling to the people who trust them.
Or let’s think about our kids for a moment. We have such power to influence positively or negatively because of trust. If, as Christian parents, we love them enough to set boundaries, have the hard discussions, and live out our faith, we will build the trust that will make it so much easier for our children to follow the Lord. But if we are self-absorbed hypocrites, well, then there is little trust and our kids will probably walk away from the Lord.
How about pastors and teachers that we trust? If they tell us the entire world was created from a rock, we will give them credence, because we trust them to tell us the truth. Or perhaps they interpret a certain passage of scripture differently then we have ever heard– if we trust them, we will believe them. Or political leaders? If they tell us they will put more money in our pockets by lowering taxes, then we will…well, I guess that’s not such a good example, is it? Not a whole lot of trust when it comes to the government anymore.
My point is this: the more that others trust us, the more responsibility we have to honor that trust. We do this by —
1. Being extremely careful with our words. Words are so powerful, and even more so if people are actually listening to our words. The more people that listen, the more powerful our words become. I don’t want someone to form an opinion about someone else based on my experience with that person. Just because I didn’t have a good encounter with a particular person, doesn’t mean that everyone else won’t. And judging people on one encounter is never a good idea, anyway. It’s better to just keep our mouths shut about others. And if we are just natural “venters” then we should at least counter our words with something like this: “but I know I probably didn’t handle it right, too” or some other such phrase. (I would add here that I am talking about personal relationships and not about warnings regarding false teachers, which is something we are called to do in scripture Acts 20:29-32).
If people trust us, our words also can be used to sway them towards God or away from God. We can set a good example by speaking words of truth and faith and love and kindness or we can pull them away from God by our complaining and skeptical words.
2. Being extremely careful with whom we respect and trust as Christian leaders and pastors. If people trust us, then we want to make sure that we are being very careful with where we place our own trust so that we are directing them to godly men and women who know and follow the traditional interpretation of the Word of God (2 Thessalonians 2:15). I look for men and women who are humble and holy (Titus 1:5-9) and for one who has not fallen into heresy or capitulated to worldly compromise (James 1:27) Unfortunately, my list of respected Christian leaders grows smaller almost every day. I try to be very careful with the links (listed to the right) I recommend because of this. I don’t want to be responsible for directing anyone astray. In fact, last year, there was a link listed there of a ministry I did trust but when I became aware of some heresy in that ministry, I immediately removed it. Sometimes we don’t know about a certain ministry, but when we do find out, we need to carefully withdraw our support of that ministry.
3. Being extremely careful with our actions. Oh, this is a tricky one and I often feel the weight of it. You see, I know my kids (and probably others) are watching me to see what I am watching, reading, listening to, and wearing. If I make a choice to do or wear something that is on the line, then I will, in essence, be giving my approval of that thing. Even if, afterwards, I recognize that it was not a good decision the damage will have been done. Occasionally, I will watch a movie that may be questionable by myself first before allowing my kids to watch it but, more often than not, I just don’t watch it. In fact, the older I have gotten the more I lean towards just not wasting my time on something that includes things that offend my God. Life is just too short for that and the trust issue too great. I still do mess up sometimes, though, on this one.
Our actions, of course, also include things like flaring up in anger or gossiping to our friends or lying to our boss. People, and especially our kids, are watching us all the time. It is critical to do the right thing not only to please the Lord (which is the primary reason) but also because of the observant eyes of the ones who are looking to us as an example.
Trust is a mighty thing. If we have it, we need to be very careful with it. It can be lost in a moment by doing something stupid. And there is a constant struggle going on inside with the perpetual question: “Do I want my kids (or anyone else who trusts me) to be like me?” If I am honest, my answer is always no. I have such a long way to go in my walk with God. But I keep trying, knowing that people are watching and that I have a responsibility to be the most godly person I can be based on what I have learned about God and His Word so far.
This won’t be my typical post. For a few years now I have started to enjoy taking pictures. Oh, I have always enjoyed taking pictures of my kids. But my interest has stretched out to encompass a few other subjects. One of those is the sky. Many is the evening I will glance out my front window and just have to go and grab my camera. God paints us amazing sky views almost every day. Whether it be a sunset, a brewing storm, or a bright blue sky filled with white, puffy clouds, I find the sky beautiful.
Now I am not a professional photographer by any means, nor do I want to be. However there may be a few of you who would enjoy some of the shots I have taken over the past few years. Photos like this help me to remember that God is so big and I am so small. They also remind me that God is the source of beauty. I apologize if I included too many. I had a such a difficult time narrowing it down!
This week’s Wednesday Wisdom comes from John MacArthur, one of my very favorite resources for biblical teaching. All of his sermons are available for free download from his website Grace to You (gty.org) and I highly recommend them. He has really helped me grow in my understanding of God’s Word. The portion I present here today is from the blog that is found on the Grace to You website. It’s about just how incredibly powerful our thought life is (something we often forget)–
Do you realize that the difference between a sincere, Spirit‑controlled, devoted, godly, obedient Christian and a defeated, weak, struggling Christian is what takes place in the mind? They may be attending the same church, active in the same ministries, and externally doing the same things, but one is defeated and the other lives a spiritually fruitful life. The difference is the thought life.
One day the difference will be made manifest. Paul told the Corinthians that when the Lord comes, He “will both bring to light the things hidden in the darkness and disclose the motives of men’s hearts” (1 Corinthians 4:5). Jesus said something similar: “Nothing is hidden that will not become evident, nor anything secret that shall not be known and come to light” (Luke 8:17). And, “Beware of the leaven of the Pharisees, which is hypocrisy. But there is nothing covered up that will not be revealed, and hidden that will not be known” (Luke 12:1-2).
I urge you to look deeply into the mirror of God’s Word (James 1:23-24), which is a powerful “discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart” (Hebrews 4:12, KJV). As Jeremiah counseled Israel, “Wash your heart from evil, O Jerusalem, that you may be saved. How long will your wicked thoughts lodge within you?” (Jeremiah 4:14). And as Paul said, “let us cleanse ourselves from all defilement of flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God” (2 Corinthians 7:1).
How can we deal with the problem of evil thoughts? The process is like mortifying any other sin.
First, confess and forsake the sin. “Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; and let him return to the Lord, and He will have compassion on him; and to our God, for He will abundantly pardon” (Isaiah 55:7, emphasis added). If your thought life harbors sins of immorality, sins of anger toward someone, sins of vengeance, sins of bitterness, sins of covetousness, or whatever, confess them to God. Repent and ask forgiveness. If we confess, He is faithful and just to forgive and keep on cleansing (1 John 1:9).
Refuse to entertain those thoughts. Purpose to abandon your wrong thought patterns immediately and begin to build new, righteous habits. If you find yourself slipping into old ways of thinking, confess your sin and refuse once again to give place to evil thoughts. Consciously direct your mind to fix itself on pure things: “Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things” (Philippians 4:8). In other words, reprogram your mind with truth and righteousness.
Feed on the Word of God. “Your word I have treasured in my heart, that I may not sin against You” (Psalm 119:11). The Word insulates the mind. It strengthens the heart. It occupies the soul and fortifies it against evil thoughts. Only as we use the sword of the Spirit skillfully can we mortify our fleshly imaginations (Ephesians 6:17).
Avoid evil attractions. Don’t expose yourself to activities, images, or conversations that provoke evil thoughts. Like Job, make a covenant with your eyes (Job 31:1)—or with your ears, or with whatever sensations lead you into evil thoughts. Refuse to feed any tendencies that draw your imagination into wickedness. This is what Jesus meant figuratively when he said, “If your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. If your right hand makes you stumble, cut it off and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to go into hell” (Matthew 5:29-30).
Cultivate the love of God. David said in Psalm 119:97, “O how I love Your law! It is my meditation all the day.” And then four verses later he said, “I have restrained my feet from every evil way.” If we set our minds on things above, things on the earth will cease to hold the same fascination for us (Colossians 3:2). “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matthew 6:21)—and where your affections are set, your thoughts will be there as well.
David ended Psalm 19, his great paean to the sufficiency of Scripture, with these words:
Who can discern his errors? Acquit me of hidden faults. Also keep back Your servant from presumptuous sins; let them not rule over me; then I will be blameless, and I shall be acquitted of great transgression. Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my rock and my Redeemer (vv. 12-14).
That is the state of mind of every truly godly person. It is also the goal of biblical instruction: “love from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith” (1 Timothy 1:5).
So, how’s your thought life?
You can find this post here, along with many other helpful resources.
Being a Christian soldier in this culture is exhausting. Everywhere you turn, Satan is attacking. The battle is being fought all around us, leaving us with little, if any, time to put down our battle gear and take a rest.
Sometimes the enemy’s deadly sword looks like a big, giant lollipop coming at you. It’s really only through serious study and discernment that we can pick up on the fact that it is a sword made to look like a lollipop.
Think with me for a moment about the book The Shack. It’s just a story, right? But it single-handedly changed how many Christians think about God. I read this quote recently and it really summed up why The Shack is a problem–
“Christian idolatry is betrayed in this telltale phrase: ‘I like to think of God as________________.’ I like to think of God as a loving Father–as a mother–as an artist–as forgiving–as an architect…But the problem is that such thoughts are often coupled with a denial of something else the Scriptures teach about God–for example, that He is Judge…[We] don’t like to think of Him as a judge, but as a loving Savior.”
That is exactly why I believe this book is dangerous. It is a very one-sided and incomplete view of who God is. And yet evangelical Christians, by the thousands, love this book.
And so if you stand up and say, “Hey, wait a minute! Something’s not right here!” we are labeled.
We are judgmental, critical, narrow-minded, ridiculous, unintelligent, among a variety of other names.
And we get tired. Exhausted, even.
We decide the hassle isn’t worth it and we shut up (exactly what our enemy wants, by the way).
But these kinds of subtle deceptions aren’t our only battlefield. No, standing for Truth even goes into the arena of entertainment, dress, and life where somehow in this crazy mixed-up world, we find ourselves being ostracized and looked down upon by Christians because we believe books that glamorize witchcraft and the occult are dangerous, R-rated movies inappropriate fodder for our minds, bikinis inappropriate clothing for our daughters, and gambling and drinking unacceptable ways to spend our God-given time and money.
Have you stopped recently and thought about how CRAZY that is??
Sometimes it feels quite surreal that this is what modern Christianity has become in the year 2013. This can’t possibly be reality, can it?
But this is not the Christianity I was taught as a girl and this is certainly not Christianity as defined in the Bible.
Here are a few things the Bible says —
I should not even look at evil (Psalm 101:3; 119:37)
Those who practice sorcery will be burned in the lake of fire (Revelation 21:8)
God hates sexual immorality, whether it’s in our life or on a screen (Colossians 3:5)
To not let filthiness, coarse jesting, and foolish talk be among us (Ephesians 5:4)
To be separate from the world (James 1:27)
I am to be modest (I Timothy 2:9)
That I am different if I am a believer (I Peter 1:14-16)
I am not sure when Satan made his inroad into the Church. Perhaps it was when marriage became less sacred and divorce more common, leading to a breakdown of the family. Perhaps it was when shallow, me-centered music became part of the worship service. Maybe it was when worship became more about “The Show” than about God and pastoring became more about entertaining than about feeding and caring for the flock. But, most likely, it was when the church was sold the lie that people will only be won for the Gospel if we become like them. And thus the word “relevance” pretty much destroyed any purity and separation that was left within the churches.
I don’t know when exactly it happened. And I guess it doesn’t really matter. What matters now is how we Christians respond to this madness.
Are we going to melt into the crowd and do what everybody else is doing? Or are we going to take a stand?
Are we going to fight for the spiritual health of our families? Or are we going to die on the alter of peer pressure?
Are we going to grow tired and weary and give up the battle? Or are we going to stay and fight in the strength of the Lord?
My husband and I are tired. So tired. It is especially wearying on the home front, where we have spent many years trying to explain from scripture why many of the popular movies, music, video games, and books are not glorifying to God, all while most of their friends are out having a good time doing all that we are encouraging our kids not to do. We feel so outnumbered and have even questioned our sanity on a number of occasions.
But whenever we take a moment to re-look at something or to question a stand, we end up back at the same place–God’s Word calls us to live holy, pure lives separate from the world. Period.
If we want to serve Him, we can’t ignore this command. We can’t get around it. We can’t push it under a box. We are soldiers in the Lord’s army and this is a big part of our duty.
And, so…here we are. Weary warriors but still fighting. Anyone else with us?
Next week it will be 150 years since that terrible battle of Gettysburg. Over the weekend, we spent some time there visiting the delightful little town. Only a few bullet holes gave evidence that such a terrible battle had been fought there. As we drove through the beautiful, rolling hills of the countryside, there wasn’t a sign of the tragedy anywhere. Sure, there were a few cannons and fences–but the human tragedy that played itself out those three days wasn’t seen on any of the faces around us. 150 years is a long time. Long enough to recover from the terrible human losses and financial setbacks.
As I wandered through the halls of the Visitor’s Center, those three days were played out vividly in my mind. I thought of the young boys who had given their lives by the thousands in this battle. I thought of the innocent farmers and townspeople who got stuck in the crossfire and lost everything they had. I thought of the thousands of people who poured into the town, looking for their loved ones after the terrible days were over. No matter which side you were on, the casualties were high.
I was about halfway through when I came across this quote written by a soldier named T.T. Fogle and taken from a letter to his sister: “O, sister, you folks at home have no idea what a soldier has to endure…I have been cold, hot, wet, dry, ragged, dirty, hungry, and thirsty, marched through clouds of dust, waded mud knee deep, and suffered from fatigue and loss of sleep.”
It reminded me of Paul’s passage in 2 Corinthians, where he talks about what he has endured for the sake of the cross–
in journeys often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils of my own countrymen, in perils of the Gentiles, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren; in weariness and toil, in sleeplessness often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness. ~2 Corinthians 11:26-27
That passage reminds me that we believers are soldiers in a battle. For a long time now, we have been able to hang around the edges of the battlefield, enjoying our accommodations quite nicely. But the battle here in this country is heating up considerably. It only takes a few moments of internet surfing or tv news-watching to realize it. And we are being flanked on all sides — from the media, the lawmakers, and the so-called church, which has twisted Christianity into something that would be unrecognizable to the godly men and women who have gone on before us.
Are we prepared to fight the battle? Or are we still back in our tents playing games?
I make no prediction as to whether this country will survive this attack on its core values. That battle will be won or lost by the will of God. But the fight, more importantly, is for the destiny of each human soul. The battle is raging in our homes, our churches, and our workplaces. Are we standing up for the truth? Are we willing to take a bit of ribbing or name-calling or even the loss of reputation to stand for what is right?
I think we can join Sallie Myers, who said this a few days before the battle: “We may expect a battle both near and soon. God help us! For surely our cause is one of justice and humanity.”
The beauty and hope of this whole battle is the future! Just like Gettysburg has recovered 150 years later, so we, too, shall be fully recovered if we know Jesus Christ personally. The hope of eternity grows brighter and brighter as the battle before us grows more and more frightening. We know where we will be in 150 years. Let us hold on to that hope, as we fight in the trenches here.
To close, I leave you with this quote from the NY Times from those days, which profoundly describes the heated battle we are in for this country right now: “The contest touches everything and leaves nothing as it found it. Great rights, great interests, great systems of habit and of thought disappear in its progress. It leaves us a different people in everything.”
I stumbled upon this song quite by accident but it struck a chord within me. In a one-dimensional world of Christian music, mostly based only on ME, this song fell like refreshing rain as this turns our focus instead towards God and glorifying Him, no matter what befalls us. What is the purpose of trials, anyway? The line in the song says it best: “I long for nothing else, as long as YOU are glorified.” Comfort, convenience, pain-free, tear-free are all nice things to be but they are no guarantee when we walk with the Lord. This songs says it better than I ever could. (I have included a link after the lyrics, if you’d like to hear it)–
As Long As You Are Glorified
Shall I take from Your hand Your blessings
Yet not welcome any pain,
Shall I thank You for days of sunshine
Yet grumble in days of rain
Shall I love You in times of plenty
Then leave You in days of drought
Shall I trust when I reap a harvest
But when winter winds blow then doubt
Oh, let Your will be done in me
In Your love I will abide
Oh I long for nothing else as long
As You are glorified.
Are You good only when I prosper
And true only when I’m filled
Are you King only when I’m carefree
And God only when I’m well
You are good when I’m poor and needy
You are true when I’m parched and dry
You still reign in the deepest valley
You’re still God in the darkest night.
So quiet my restless heart!
Quiet my restless heart!
Quiet me restless heart in You.
All around us we see youth from Christian homes who have turned their backs on the one true God. A decent percentage of them have walked away to live lives in utter, immoral chaos. But, more often than not, most are trying to live good lives, attending church on the Christian holidays, and trying to make a decent living and raise a responsible family…all in their own power, not truly knowing the Savior who gave His life for them.
When I read Titus 2, I realize just how far we have strayed from God’s plan for who we are supposed to be. Paul, in this letter to Titus, defines what we are to look like as believers in this passage.
These words seem almost ridiculous in a culture that prides itself on staying young, partying, living for the moment, and having a good time. Here are the adjectives that should be used to describe a godly man: sober, reverent, temperate, sound in faith, in love, in patience.
And godly older women: reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things. We read on to discover what these good things are.
Somehow, in the last five years or so, I became one of the older women. It comes to all of us at one time or another. And here is what the Bible says I am supposed to be teaching younger women: to love their husbands and children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, and obedient to their husbands.
And let’s go on to the young men, who do not escape Paul’s descriptions. Here is what he says they are to be like: sober-minded, in all things showing yourself to be a pattern of good works; in doctrine showing integrity, reverence, incorruptibility,sound speech that cannot be condemned, that one who is an opponent may be ashamed, having nothing evil to say of you.
So, if this is what true believers are to look like, then why do so many of us not look like this? Or, in the light of our imperfections, perhaps an even more important question is: why do believers not want to look like this?
Could it be that we older people have dropped the ball?
It starts in our homes, where many of us allow our toddlers to control everything from the TV to the schedules. And then it blossoms into the churches, where we have allowed the youth to determine everything from worship style to church programs. When and why did the older generation relinquish their responsibility?
Was it when we, too, became more enamored with our stuff than with our Lord?
Was it when we got scared of the accusations and name-calling (fuddy-duddy, traditionalist) and ran away?
Was it when we made ourselves our priority and stopped spending time with our adult children?
Or perhaps it was when we started listening to worldly wisdom instead of God’s Word?
I have no idea, but somewhere there has been a breakdown of godly living being passed down from one generation to the next.
May the Lord help us not to be one of those weak links! I pray that my kids and grandkids would be stronger and holier and bolder for Jesus Christ than I am! I want my family to grow stronger in the Lord, not weaker.
Yes, this takes work–the kind that never ends. It takes late nights and long phone conversations and confrontations. Sometimes it is lonely. But we have a responsibility and we need to step up to the plate and take it seriously! Let’s stand strong and encourage those who come behind us to stand strong with us!
But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine: 2 that the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience. 3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; 4 that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. 6 Young men likewise exhort to be sober minded. 7 In all things shewing thyself a pattern of good works: in doctrine shewing uncorruptness, gravity, sincerity, 8 sound speech, that cannot be condemned; that he that is of the contrary part may be ashamed, having no evil thing to say of you. Titus 2:1-8
It all started when I decided to start running again. I began getting severe pain in my left knee, but I figured it was just because I hadn’t run in awhile, so I pushed through it. But when the pain became excruciating, I decided to use the elliptical machine for a little while to try to settle it down a bit. About a week before my scheduled Color Run (the reason I started running again), I decided to finally go see the doctor.
He looked at it, poked and prodded a bit, and then put me on an anti-inflammatory, telling me to use it as much as I was able and to come back if it doesn’t get better.
Fast forward four weeks. I took the pills, ran only about a third of the 5K and walked the rest. And then I came home and limped around for awhile. But the more I used the knee the more excruciating the pain became until I was forced to return to the doctor. He scheduled an MRI, which I had done yesterday. I am now waiting for the official results.
So why do I tell you this? I assure you that it is not to garner your pity, concern, or prayers. It’s just a knee. I can still walk and do what I have to do. I am not dying.
But here’s the thing– every time I sit down, every time I get up, every time I move that left leg, every time I bend or lift or stand or walk, I feel pain.
And I realized something. I have had over 45 years of trouble-free knees that I took completely for granted. I never thought about how well they worked or how much my life would be affected if they don’t. All of a sudden, I am calculating just how much walking a trip to the mall will be or just how long I can work in the garden without completely debilitating myself. Almost everything is now done with that painful knee in mind.
Chicago sang a song in the 80s called “Hard Habit to Break.” In that song is this line:
You don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone, and I found out a little too late.
That’s just so true, isn’t it? This singer is singing this song about a relationship he lost with a special girl, but we could sing these lines about many valuable blessings in our lives that were never appreciated until they were lost, couldn’t we?
~Our babies and toddlers.
~Our youthful, wrinkle-free bodies
~Our good health
~The financial means to meet our needs and many of our wants
~A job
~Our parents
~Our siblings
~Our spouse
~Our vehicle, or refrigerator, or washing machine, or dishwasher
~Our cell phone
How many of these things have we ever said thank you for? How many of them have we lost and then went on to complain about? Whether it be the death of a loved one (a BIG deal) or a broken cell phone (so minor in the scope of life, it’s hardly even worth mentioning)?
To keep myself filled with a heart of a gratitude, I started a journal about six months ago. In it, I write three things for which I am thankful. I don’t write every day or even every other day. But a few times each month, I stop for a moment to truly ponder what I am thankful for and to give whole-hearted thanks to God.
Funny how my knees never made it in on that list. I guess I will be writing “working knees” the next time.
I want to appreciate what I have while I have it, instead of missing it and realizing a little too late just how incredibly much I had been blessed.
Last Sunday was Father’s Day. What a wonderful day to celebrate the men who have shaped us and who are shaping our children. I feel indeed blessed to not only have had an exceptional father, but also to have an exceptional father for my children.
I heard this blog post read the other day and was struck by its simplicity, its truth, and its applicability (is that a word??) to both dads and moms. But before we move on to the article, we need to face a hard truth: it is a rare father that does all 21 of these things. And mine certainly didn’t. But then he (and my husband) both have their own unique personalities and good traits that aren’t listed in this article.
If we are mothers reading this, then let’s appreciate the good things that are written here and also the wonderful things that may not be included here about our fathers and husbands. Let’s apply what we can and become better mothers.
If you are a father reading this, then I present this as encouragement and inspiration–not as a source of dissatisfaction or hopelessness. Be the best, most godly father you can be with the resources you have. That is all God asks of you.
And on a personal note, in this article the author shares how his father rubbed his legs when he was suffering from growing pains as a child. His mention of this brought one of my own favorite memories of my father rushing to my memory. How well I remember him rubbing my aching legs in the middle of the night, while we talked about what heaven will be like. It is one of my fondest memories of time spent with my dad.
This was written by father and pastor, JoshMcPherson. You can find his original post here.
I don’t want to be a good dad—I want to be a great dad.
But the longer I live and more ministry I do, the more I have come to realize there are precious few examples of grace in action when it comes to fatherhood. So on this Father’s Day, I wanted to take a moment, heed Paul’s exhortation (Eph. 6:1), and honor my own father, Greg.
Was he perfect? Nope.
Did he make mistakes? Sure.
Does he wish he could do things differently? I have no idea.
But in a land where few men finish well when it comes to the daunting task of fatherhood, I’ve found myself reflecting and marveling at the grace of God in my dad’s life. He loved Jesus, repented often, and poured his life into his two sons. How much more could a boy ask for?
In your life, Dad, I have found a roadmap for my own role as father. So I wanted to take a few moments, and tell you thanks from the heart of a grateful son. Specifically, thank you for . . .
1. NEVER PUTTING ME DOWN
Not once. You never made fun of me, mocked me, or talked about me like I wasn’t there. Never was I the butt of your jokes. In everything you built me up, encouraged me, and moved me forward. You always spoke of my future with great hope. “The Lord will give you great opportunities, Josh. Jesus has great plans for you, son.” This sort of prophetic encouragement every boy needs, and I got it in bushels. Thanks, Dad.
2. RUNNING INTO MY ROOM
. . . the night I screamed in agony from growing pains. I was eight. You were half asleep. Tripping on a toy you went sprawling across the room in your underwear. We both burst out laughing. Then you rubbed my leg-cramps for an hour. I slept in the next day; you were up at 5 a.m. and out the door. You put my need to be comforted in front of your need for sleep. Thanks, Dad.
You loved Jesus passionately and it drew me in.
3. BEING THE TOUGHEST MAN I KNOW
. . . and crying in front of me often. It’s good for a boy to see both. I’ve seen you cut down trees, fix tractors, build things, and tackle gut-wrenching church conflict with unflinching courage and razor-sharp biblical clarity. I’ve also seen you listen intently, hug often, and tear up quickly when moved by someone’s pain or God’s grace. Not the helpless, whimpering, cowardly sort of tears—the genuine, earnest, heartfelt tears of a man who feels and thinks deeply. You cry easily when talking about Jesus, the gospel, redemption, and the day God called you into ministry. I love that. Thanks, Dad.
I never felt more safe and loved than when held in your arms.
4. RAISING YOUR HANDS
. . . and singing loudly with the church. I distinctly remember as a young boy looking up and seeing tears roll down your cheek during worship. I couldn’t articulate it then, but I knew that you were singing to someone who meant everything to you, who was great and big and awesome and worthy of your allegiance, and who gave you great joy. That is a gift to a young man. You didn’t tell me to love Jesus passionately—you loved Jesus passionately and it drew me in. Thanks, Dad.
5. SPANKING US, THEN HUGGING US
That is a powerful parenting combination that no child’s heart can resist. I never felt more safe and loved than when held in your arms as the sting of the spank faded and the assurance of your unshakable love filled my little heart. Redemptive discipline is a precious thing. Thanks, Dad.
6. LEAVING ME NOTES ON THE BATHROOM MIRROR
Sometimes they were a verse written out you’d read that morning, or a prayer for something big I was facing, or an apology for something said the night before. No matter the occasion, they were always encouraging, full of Scripture, and right on point. This told me you were thinking about me even when you were gone, and were vested in my success. Huge. I still have most of them to this day. Thanks, Dad.
Always you were there, Bible in hand, heart open, mind working.
7. PUTTING MY FRIENDS TO WORK
Mowing the lawn, cleaning the garage, working on a project in the shop. Every time my friends came over to our house, you worked us like dogs. I could never figure out why all the guys always wanted to come to my house.
But I figured it out later: you treated them like men. And then you’d fire up the BBQ and spend the rest of the day asking us what we wanted to do with our life that would make an eternal impact. Thanks, Dad.
8. READING YOUR BIBLE EVERY MORNING
That is the biggest memory I have: you, at the kitchen table, worn Bible in front of you, studying away. Not checking Facebook. Not returning email. Not reading the paper. Soaking in the Word. Sometimes tears were running down your face. Sometimes your eyebrows were burrowed in thought. Sometimes your head was bowed in prayer. Sometimes your pen was scratching furiously in your journal. But always you were there, Bible in hand, heart open, mind working. It left an indelible imprint on the life of a young boy about how a real man starts his day. Thanks, Dad.
9. LAUGHING LOUD, LONG, AND LOTS
At the dinner table. On a hunting trip. Or just whenever. Some of the most fun memories I have include watching you slap your thigh, throw back your head, and roar with laughter. I loved hearing your laugh. Still do to this day. You took many things in life blood-earnest, but you laughed at yourself often. That is a gift that has served me well in ministry. Thanks, Dad.
10. CHARGING ME RENT
You did this the day I turned 18 and was still living in your house. All of my other friends learned to freeload. I learned to work. And it wasn’t done as a cruel punishment, but a teaching moment for taking responsibility and growing up as a man. Thanks, Dad.
You were not living life unless you’re serving others and God’s kingdom.
11. LOVING ME WITHOUT QUESTION OR HESITATION
I have questioned many things in my life, doubted many things, faced many unknowns. But there is one thing of which I have never questioned: your love for me has been unwavering and relentless, dependable and true. It’s taught me a lot about how I am loved by my better heavenly Father. Thanks, Dad.
12. TURNING DOWN SPEAKING ENGAGEMENTS
. . . so you “wouldn’t miss the important years.” I didn’t appreciate it then. I do now. Thanks, Dad.
13. WRESTLING WITH US AS KIDS
. . . every night when you came home from work. You were probably exhausted from work, but knew we were waiting behind the couch to launch a surprise attack. You could have said you were too tired. But you didn’t. You wrestled until, giggling and short of breath, we begged for mercy (and asked for more at the same time). Thanks, Dad.
14. FILLING THE DINNER TABLE WITH STORIES OF GOSPEL VICTORIES
These were the best moments ever. To hear of a broken person made whole through the redeeming work of Jesus. My big takeaway from our dinner conversations was that you were not living life unless you’re serving others and investing in God’s kingdom. You whetted our appetite for gospel ministry early. Thanks, Dad.
15. READING THE PICTURE BIBLE EVERY NIGHT BEFORE BED
And oh, how you brought it to life! When Moses faced the Red Sea, I was overwhelmed with despair. When David stared down Goliath, I trembled with fear. When Jesus rose from the grave, we cheered and clapped for joy. Dad, when you read the Bible, The Story came to life. It’s no wonder your two boys have given their life to teaching others that same Bible. Thanks, Dad.
16. BUYING A HOT TUB
. . . so we could have a place to “hash things over.” Some of my best memories as a teen are coming home after something happened at school or with sports or with friends and asking, “Wanna hit the tub, Dad?” and knowing that you’d never say no, so we could have life-shaping conversations. Thanks, Dad.
17. TEACHING US THE IMPORTANCE OF MENTORS
You did this by having multiple mentors yourself and regularly showing us how they helped you. To this day, learning from men around me is a deeply held value of mine, one that has served me, my wife, our family, and our church well. Thanks, Dad.
A wise man is not a perfect man, but a repentant man.
18. SITTING ON THE FRONT ROW
. . . at church, Bible open, taking furious notes and bellowing hearty “Amen’s” while I preach. In this, you show me what it’s like for a man to be a lifelong learner.
19. CONFESSING SIN OFTEN
You were not perfect, but when you messed up, you were quick to confess it and repent of it. These made me feel safe, like I could follow you without fear. There was integrity in your life, and it gave me confidence in your leadership. You taught me by your example that a wise man is not a perfect man, but a repentant man. Thanks, Dad.
20. BEING THE FIRST PERSON I WANTED TO CALL
. . . when we found out Ella Mae would be born with Spina Bifida. That was a dark-night-of-the-soul moment. A confusing time. And all I knew was I needed to call my dad. You listened and affirmed your love for us and God’s plan in all the pain. Then you prayed with us and invited us over to the house. We needed to “talk it out and make a plan for this new little blessing God’s bringing into our lives.” I needed someone to tell me that day that this little girl would be a blessing, and you did. Thanks, Dad.
21. LOVING MY WIFE LIKE YOUR OWN DAUGHTER
She feels your love, she feels your support. She knows that if we came to you for counsel with a relationship conflict between us, that you’d take her side first before you’d take mine. “I think we love her more than we love you, Josh. I know we like her more,” you’ve said with a wink and a laugh. But it’s communicated the point. And that’s a wonderful thing for a daughter-in-law to know. Thanks, Dad.
I could go on but I’m way over word-count. So thanks, Dad, for loving Jesus and living a life that makes it easy to remember and honor. I love you deeply and am still watching closely as you follow Jesus and finish well. You have lived a life worth emulating, and I’ve been taking notes. May I learn from God’s grace in your life to love my children the same.
I was taking a Sunday afternoon nap. Sound asleep, I was suddenly jarred awake by a little white ball of fur leaping on my bed. My dog, Belle, did a quick circle and then hopped back down and literally ran out the door. I settled down for a moment or two before she returned, this time making her way up to my pillow and laying down right above my head, panting madly.
I knew she was trying to tell me something, but I could not figure out what it was. The other night, she had acted similarly during a storm, but this particular afternoon the weather was clear and, to my knowledge, nothing else traumatic was going on. What was she trying to tell me? When I asked her what was wrong, she didn’t magically speak to me but instead just stared at me, as if trying to send a message with those dark brown eyes.
Trying to understand what she was trying to tell me felt a little like trying to understand what God is trying to tell me about a specific decision sometimes. Sometimes I just want to say, “God, how about if you send a lone bolt of lightening for YES and big loud thunderclap for NO?” Wouldn’t that be nice?
Unfortunately, it is a rare occasion that God makes the answer to a decision extremely clear, but–on the bright side– there are some good biblical principles to follow which will help us discern the right direction–
1) What does the Bible say? Search the scriptures and discern everything God’s Word has to say about what you are agonizing over. You may have to do a generalized search. For example, if you are trying to decide about a new house or car, then search God’s Word for everything you can find about material wealth and our attitude towards it. If you are married and trying to decide about a business lunch with an attractive co-worker, then find all the passages you can on marriage and falling into adultery.
2) Obey what you know. There are some basics in God’s Word that we know we are to do: The Ten Commandments, loving God with all our hearts, loving others as we love ourselves, submitting to our husbands, loving our wives, submitting to our bosses, praying for our leaders. Let’s obey in the areas that are clear, so that we will be in right relationship with God and will be better able to understand the Holy Spirit’s guidance in the areas that are unclear.
3) Examine your motives. Is this decision all about me? Am I concerned with my feelings, my experience, my life, at the cost of anybody else’s?
4) Think about the outcome. What will be the fruit of this decision? Will it mean being in debt? Will it put you far away from family? Will this damage your reputation? Will this decision be a detriment to your relationship with Christ or others? Just spend a few minutes contemplating the fruit of the decision.
And if you do all of that and you still don’t know, I’ll tell you what I do: I pick a path and start walking, all the while praying that the Lord will close the doors if I didn’t pick the right one. He is faithful! He does show us which way we should go when we are in fellowship with Him; when we truly desire to please Him more than fulfilling our own selfish desires.
So much confusion and strife results when I make a decision based on what I want…when I live my life based on my desires and ambitions. I know this, because I have done it many times and continue to struggle with this.
Life can be tough and we rarely, if ever, get a message from God telling us what to do. But, thankfully, we have His Word as a guide and His promise to care for us. This is great comfort in the midst of making a decision.
I Peter 5: 6-11Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world. But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you. To Him be the glory and the dominion forever and ever. Amen.
