Leslie A

Just do it.

1 Comment / January 2, 2012

For many of us, January 2 brings the opportunity for a fresh start.  Some of us have specifically set New Year’s resolutions.  But, if you are like me, those resolutions usually last about a month…if that.   So what truly brings about lasting change?  Why can even people who do not know the Lord change for the better?

Could it be that they just do it?  They just make up their mind to behave a certain way and then follow through on that decision?    When Nike came out with their logo of “Just do it” I wasn’t sure what to think. But recently, I realized the wisdom of that phrase.

Our language is so peppered with words like “try” and “maybe” and “perhaps” because we are so afraid to commit to change.   And maybe that is because we are so afraid to fail.    When we make the statement, “I will lose weight,” or “I will stay on a budget,”  it sets us up for failure.  It is much easier to say “I will try to lose weight,”  or “perhaps this is the year we will work on the budget,”.  Now, we have a way out.  A bit of a loophole that we can crawl through if it doesn’t work.

As I was thinking about this, I realized that the Bible never tells us to try to trust the Lord.  There is never a verse that says perhaps we should love the Lord with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength.  Instead, the Bible is filled with verses of commands we are to obey.  There is no loop hole there.  Below, I have placed a few verses that I looked up as I was writing this.  I didn’t find one verse that gave me a way out of obedience.

So, how does that affect our resolutions?   I think it is because many of the resolutions we set have to do with sin issues in our lives.  Perhaps we are overweight (gluttony) or we are in debt (money is our idol) or we are wrapped up in an evil habit (spoken against in God’s Word).   So we know that these are areas that God wants us to have victory.   What are some steps we can take to assure that we succeed this year?

First:  We need to set attainable goals.  I am in the process of trying to figure out what are realistic goals for me.  If we make a resolution to run an hour a day and we are having a hard time even finding 15 minutes of extra time for exercise, we are setting ourselves up for failure.   In his book, Total Money Makeover, Dave Ramsey recommends paying off the smallest debt first, so that there will be some reward early on.  I think the same is true for setting goals.  Set one that you can actually reach.  And when that one becomes a habit, then stretch yourself a bit further.  It doesn’t have to be New Year’s Day in order to set a goal.

Second:  We need to pray and ask the Lord for His guidance as we set goals.  It is important that we make sure the goals we set are in accordance with His Word and His will for our lives.  Let’s ask Him to give us strength.  We need His help.

And  third: Once we have determined realistic and attainable goals and we have asked the Lord for guidance and strength, let’s commit each morning to doing them for just that day.  Let’s actually follow through.  We make it seem so hard.  But it’s not hard.  It just takes commitment.   We just need to do it.

Here’s to 2012 and attainable goals!

 

Proverbs 3: 5-6  Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; 6 In all your ways acknowledge Him,  And He shall direct[a] your paths. 

Mark 12:30  And you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ This is the first commandment.

Philippians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there isany virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.

Colossians 3: 12-13  Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; 13 bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. 

James 1: 2-3  My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 

James 4: 7-8  Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. 8 Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 

Representing the King

Leave a Comment / December 29, 2011

In my last post I gave some ways to make 2012 a great year.   They were ideas from across the spectrum of life.  Since that post, I have had some more ideas.  But only one that I think is important enough to add to my list.  And here it is:

Remember who your Father is.

Can you remember when you were a child and you first became aware of the fact that when you did something wrong, you not only made yourself look bad, but you made your parents look bad, too?   As you grew into a teenager, you became very aware that your actions said something about your parents.  You might not have cared what your actions were saying about your parents…but a message was being given.  You see, while we were still living with our parents, we were, in effect, representing their household.

Now let’s think a moment about our relationship with God.  If he is our Heavenly Father, what do our actions say about Him?  He is All-Powerful and All-Knowing.  He is King of Kings.  If we are saved by grace, through the blood of Jesus Christ, we are children of this King.  We, in essence, belong to the household of God.  Our words and actions–if we call ourselves “Christians”–say something about God, our Heavenly Father.

So what message are we giving?  Do our actions speak highly of the one Who saved me by His grace, showing deep love and respect?  Or are my actions rebellious and seeking for ways to rationalize activities that are clearly spoken against in God’s Word, with no inclination or care towards what He thinks?

Going back to my original illustration, we can see this principle clearly at work in real life.  Which teenager represents his parents well?  Which teenager shows through his actions that he loves and respects his parents?  The rebellious teen who makes unwise choices or the obedient teen who makes wise choices?  Of course, the obedient teen best represents his parents and what they stand for.

In a perfect world, all parents are worthy of being represented.  But, here on earth, that is not the case.   Parents aren’t perfect and life gets messy.  However, we do not have the same issue when it comes to our Heavenly Father.  God loves us perfectly.  Any rebellion or foolishness or sin on our part doesn’t stem from anything He said or did.

And so as we head into 2012, let’s remember who our Father is.  In every little thing we say.  In every little thing we do.  Let’s remember that we are a child  of the King of kings!  We are His representatives here on earth.  Let’s represent Him well this coming year.

I wish you a very Happy New Year!

25 Ways to Make 2012 a Great Year

2 Comments / December 26, 2011

As we anticipate the new year, we often make lofty resolutions or set impossible goals.  But sometimes small, thoughtful actions can reap wonderful rewards.  Here are a few simple ideas on how to make next year a great one:

1.  Smile.  A lot.

2.  Ask someone a question about their life.  Be genuinely interested.

3.  Don’t waste time or energy thinking about things you can’t change.

4.  So everyone has a bad day.  Find perspective and choose joy.

5.  Study God’s Word.  Simply reading it isn’t enough.

6.  Open your mind to a different type of music.  Try classical, jazz, or hymns.

7.  Try something new and interesting this year.  How about painting, photography, ice skating, gardening, camping, baking, running, or learning to play an instrument?  The ideas are endless.  And, for goodness’ sake, stop telling yourself you are too old to try something new!

8.  Read a book that goes beyond boy meets girl.  Read something that will deepen your understanding of humanity.

9.  Find ways to serve others.  Don’t waste your time, energy, or money trying to impress them.

10. Turn the TV off.  Only turn it on if you know specifically what you are going to watch.  Make a rule never to turn it on while your family is sharing a meal together.

11. When someone says something hurtful, don’t defend yourself.  Just walk away.

12. Listen to someone’s point before jumping in with your own opinion.

13. Make a budget and stick to it.

14. Only eat when you are hungry.

15. Pick one area you would like to see changed in your life and pray about it daily.  Watch God work.  He may change the circumstances or He may change your attitude.

16. Don’t try to change people.  Instead inspire them.

17. Stop hedging and tell the truth.

18. Visit a museum and take the time to read the displays and increase your knowledge of the world around you.

19. Appreciate the ordinary moments. Life can change in a heartbeat.

20. Train your mind to gloss over real (or imagined) offenses of the past, whether they happened 5 years ago or 5 minutes ago.  Grudges aren’t beneficial to anyone.

21.  Develop a relationship with an elderly person.  We can learn so much from their experiences.  Don’t be so arrogant to think  they couldn’t possibly understand you or your predicament.  Life hasn’t changed that much.

22.  Remember that every choice has a consequence.

23. Think before you talk.

24. Think before you act.

25. While you are thinking, ask yourself these questions:  Will this glorify God?  Will it encourage someone? Is it necessary? What will be the consequences of these words or this action?

As I was writing this list, I realized that there are some changes that I would really like to implement.  However, it almost feels impossible to make a permanent change.  But perhaps, instead of seeing the looming, overwhelming need for a permanent change, we just think about the next 24 hours?  Which of these can we work on today?  And then do the same thing again tomorrow.  Before you know it, a year has gone by and we have changed.

Can you think of other ideas I should have added to this list?   I would love to have your input on other changes we can all make that would make 2012 a great year – for ourselves and, more importantly, for those around us.

So what really happened the night before Christmas?

3 Comments / December 12, 2018

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the stable
The real Christmas, mind you…this isn’t a fable
The young couple had traveled from far, far away
They had spent hours traveling all the long day

The innkeeper smiled and then shook his head
“No, I don’t have a room, I’m sorry,” he said
“But, listen, I do have a stable out back–
Please make yourself comfortable among the haystacks.”

The young man heart’s sunk; this wasn’t ideal
He thought of his wife–how would she feel?
The baby was coming, she was already in labor
Would she mind terribly to have beasts as her neighbors?

But then she spoke softly to him on that night
“It’s a soft place to lay down, far out of sight.”
He sighed and then turned to the man at the door
“We’ll take it,” he said and then turned to implore-

“Can you show us the way? Is it just right out back?
My wife needs to lay down, that is a fact.”
The innkeeper directed a young servant boy
To show them the way, amidst all the noise

For people had come from far and from near
To register for taxes on this night so clear
And Bethlehem rang with the noise of the crowd
As young Joseph and Mary followed the boy down

Down to the stable, so small and so dim
The animals moved restlessly, causing a din
Inside they found a stall filled with hay
A comfortable place for Mary to lay

And right there it was, a manger so small
They carefully placed it right by the wall
Joseph wiped it all down with a rag that he found
And carefully lay a soft covering all ’round

And then came the most difficult night
Either had experienced in all of their life
For a baby boy was born on that night
And it wasn’t painless or without fright

For whenever a baby in this world is born
There is pain and discomfort before the morn
This has been part of the process since time began
When sin came into the world through the choice of a man

But as Mary lay there in the dim light
In fields near the town, an angel interrupted the night!
The shepherds looked up and what did they see?
A sight so incredible, they wanted to flee

This angel told them where to go
To see the Savior born in a manner so low
And then, much to their surprise
A Heavenly Host filled all the sky!

“Glory to God in the Highest” they sang
Their beautiful voices, through the whole sky, they rang
And when it was over, the shepherds looked all around
And knew they just had to start into town

And when they arrived at that stable so small
They heard a small cry, there–in that stall
And as they walked over towards that place in the barn
They saw smiling Mary, a small babe in her arms

And so it was on that first Christmas night
That Jesus was born to make all things right
For this was not just any old birth
For Jesus brought hope and joy to the earth!

And many years later he would die on a cross
To save you and me, when all was thought lost
And, so that is truly the Christmas story
Let’s celebrate Jesus, in all of His glory!

The law of imperfection

2 Comments / December 14, 2014

 

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The other night we had the blessing of going to our daughter’s Christmas Concert at school.  She was only in two numbers during the whole two hours, so we had kind of psyched ourselves up to get through the evening.  When we arrived, we found some good friends to sit by and proceeded to move to our chairs.  Except when we went to sit down, we found ourselves bumping elbows and hips.  The seats were so closely put together that it was almost impossible to sit comfortably.

I started to complain almost immediately.  “Who set up these chairs?  What were they thinking?”  I tried in vain to wiggle my chair to the left and then to the right.  It was so uncomfortable.  I turned my head to the end of the row.  Could we possibly inch the chairs to the left or right?  Nope.  No chance.  They would obviously be out of line with the rest of the rows and there was not an inch of space between any of them.  I sat back and resigned myself to sitting diagonally on my seat to get through what was going to be a very long evening.  My husband (whom I nicknamed “MacGyver” a long time ago)  came up with a great solution.  We folded up an unused chair.  Aahhh.  Space to sit comfortably.  We adjusted our chairs and actually enjoyed the rest of the evening, which was filled with the songs of Christmas.

But as I pondered on my reaction, I realized something.  I complained when the chairs weren’t set up correctly, but I wouldn’t have even thought about the chairs if they would have been set up in a comfortable way.  I would never have entered the row and exclaimed how lovely it was that the chairs were positioned so comfortably.  We could just have easily solved that problem (i.e. fold up an extra chair) without my unnecessary complaining.  Are complaining and negative words necessary for solving an uncomfortable or difficult dilemma?

So why this human tendency to focus on imperfection?  Why do we so often notice the bad stuff but tend to ignore the good stuff?  Why do we feel the need to complain and criticize when something doesn’t suit us?  Why don’t we notice how wonderful something is?  Why don’t we appreciate when something goes as planned?

We find this law at play in our company.  We have several hundred customers we service regularly.  I bet you can guess who we hear from most often. Yep- you guessed it!  The ones who are dissatisfied.  We are always so very thankful for those customers who take the time to write a note thanking us or to pick up the phone and call just to tell us how pleased they are with the work we did for them.   What a blessing to us and to the employees who did the work.

Let’s take this thought and apply it to our homes, shall we?  When was the last time we thanked our husband or wife for doing something good- or even something very routine- that we expected them to do?  On the other hand, when is the last time we scolded, criticized, or even yelled at that same person for doing something we didn’t like?  Play the same scenario out in your head with your children, your friends, your parents, your pastor, and your co-workers.  You see, it is applicable in almost every area we find ourselves in.

Sure, sometimes the negative has to be addressed.  I am not talking about the unhealthy choice of ignoring serious problems.   What I am referring to are the things we say that just do not need to be said.  It’s the unnecessary comment I made about the chairs.  It’s the negative comments we make about our favorite sports team, our children’s schools, the restaurant, or the store where we shop.  It includes the unkind comments we make to our close friend about someone’s hair…or clothes…or choice of dog…or how they use their money.  Unless it is a biblical issue and against a commandment we find there, does it really matter?

The Christmas season is upon us.  What a great time to encourage others and set a good example with our language.  Let’s edify one another with our words and comments as we gather together for Christmas celebrations.

Proverbs 10: 19 In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, but he who restrains his lips is wise. 

Colossians 4:6 Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.

Proverbs 25:11 A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.

Scheduled for Surgery

2 Comments / December 15, 2011

The young doctor picked up the scalpel to make his first cut.  His hand shook over the patient’s abdomen.  Within the middle-aged woman’s body there was a tumor the size of an orange raging a war against her.  It was destroying her life.  The doctor just stood there, shaking.  Sweat from his brow ran down his face.  He looked at the nurse by his side and finally spoke his thoughts, “I just can’t do it.  I will hurt her.  She might have scars.  She might be mad at me.  Let’s just send her back to her room.”

A joke, right?  What surgeon in his right mind would send a patient from the operating room because he was worried about hurting or scarring him or her?  What honorable physician would be worried that his patient might be angry with him?  And, yet, when God tries to “operate” on us, we raise our fists and shout, “why, God?  How could you do this to me?  I don’t deserve this!”

Somehow I think we keep forgetting that God is our Creator.  He knows everything.  I often don’t understand why He has allowed something….whether it be in my life or someone else’s.  Many times life appears to be very unfair.  But God sees our hearts.  He sees where we are diseased and broken.  Just as the surgeon wields his instrument, cutting and stitching  in ways we could never understand, to improve our physical health, so our Heavenly Father cuts away and stitches to improve our spiritual health.

That trial that we are finding hard to bear may be what it will take to topple an idol held firmly in the wrong place within our heart.  Or perhaps it may work on our deadly habits of selfishness or greed.  Possibly the trial will even change the direction we are headed in life.   Any pain or scars that results from the surgery will be well worth it, because God knows best.   How He must shake His head with sadness when we cry out in arrogant anger, thinking with our finite minds that we know best.

James 2:2-4 says: My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.

We are to count it joy when we face a trial because it changes us…it perfects us.  This is so much easier to write than it is to do.  I realize this.  But if we are going to obey God’s Word, then we have no choice but to submit to His will and joyfully trust that He knows best.

So if we know we are scheduled for spiritual surgery–and we all are, we just don’t know when–how can we prepare?  It is a known fact that physical surgery goes so much better if we are healthy and in good physical shape.  Recovery time is considerably shorter, as well.  Might I suggest that spiritual surgery may be similar?  We will be much better prepared for spiritual surgery if we are in God’s Word daily, living a life of prayer and thankfulness.  We will especially be better prepared if we are practicing joy in the little cuts and bruises of life.

If we are believers, we are scheduled for spiritual surgery.  We don’t know when.  We don’t know how invasive.  But we are scheduled.

What IS that smell?!

Leave a Comment / December 12, 2011

I noticed it on Thursday.  Something smelled wrong and it was definitely coming from the laundry room.  I knew we had 10 puppies in the garage, just beyond the laundry room door, that did not give off the most pleasant aroma…but this smelled different.  As the day wore on the smell got stronger.   I started washing everything in sight.  I emptied the trash.  I opened up the windows.  I looked behind the washer and dryer.  I looked in the closet.  But I could not figure out what was causing this terrible stench.  As the evening wore on we all commented on it…and then we would forget about it…until we had to go near the laundry room.

However, upon my nose being assailed with an even worse odor–if that was even possible–on Friday morning, I realized that this smell was not going to vanish on its own.  I started to panic a little because we were having a large Christmas gathering at our house that night.  What was I going to do?  I was going to have to solve this mystery…and sooner rather than later.  So I did what I often do in these circumstances: I asked my husband to help me when he came to the house for a few minutes from the office.

Within a matter of minutes he found the culprit.  When we were making room in the freezer for our recently acquired venison, someone had put a bag of chicken on top of the freezer and forgot about it.  Boy, did that thing smell!  It was put there on Wednesday morning and by Friday it smelled like the chicken had actually died right there on the freezer and was laying in the hot sun.  We quickly discarded the offensive chicken and then I went about trying to remove all remnants of that terrible odor from my house.

There seems to be a spiritual parallel here, doesn’t there?  If there is a bad odor surrounding me, then something is causing it.  Let me give a few examples.  If I am angry, there may be a deeper issue of selfishness at work.  If I tend to yell a lot, there may be a deeper issue of  lack of self-control.  If I brag about my accomplishments and boast about my kids, there may be pride in my heart.  If I arrogantly express that no one is going to tell me what to do, then there is probably a root of rebellion at work.  If I entertain myself with the things God hates, then I am lacking discernment.  If I am sweet and kind on Sunday, but not so nice the rest of the week, then I am a hypocrite.

Anger…indulgence…pride…rebellion…a lack of discernment…hypocrisy…they all give off a bad odor.  They are not the fragrance of Christ.  Paul talks a little about this in 2 Corinthians 2:14-16.  He says:

Now thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and through us diffuses the fragrance of His knowledge in every place. 15 For we are to God the fragrance of Christ among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing. 16 To the one we are the aroma of death, leading to death, and to the other the aroma of life leading to life. And who is sufficient for these things? 

If our fragrance is from Christ, then those who are being saved will find our fragrance refreshing and wonderful.  But those whose hearts are hardened will not like our fragrance.  It will irritate them.  We will be the aroma of death.

I think it is pretty clear that not only are we to dig out the roots of sin in our lives that give off a bad odor but we are to conduct ourselves in such a manner that we will give off the fragrance of Christ.  A rather inadequate analogy would be that it is like the difference between being around a person who has just come from digging in a manure pile and a person who has just freshly showered and has applied a sweet-smelling perfume.

This incident has made me think about what sin is in my life…and what aroma I am giving off?  Not only to those who do not know me all that well, but also to those who know me really well…my family.  What about you?  What do you smell like?

 

 

The blessing of a gift

Leave a Comment / December 8, 2011

Around this time of year, the choruses of “I don’t need anything” start to ring out across the nation.   Gift-giving becomes a burden.  Gift cards sell like hotcakes because we just don’t know what else to get that person who has everything.  When so many people are in need across the world, why do we buy anything for each other, anyway?   And, in a lot of ways, I agree with that statement.  But I think we need to take a brief look at a different point of view.

For several years in a row, someone at church gave us a hand-crocheted heart with a card thanking us for our service in the church.  I want to tell you about what that gift meant.   You see, serving in any capacity, whether as a parent, a teacher, a church worker, or an employer is a pretty thankless job.   The fact that someone took the time to write a note and crochet a heart meant a lot.  It meant that what we did mattered.

And what about gift-giving as a way to express our appreciation and love for someone?   We seem to have lost sight of that, as well.   Some of us have stopped giving gifts, period.   And some of us become so overwhelmed with our Christmas to-do list that we  just start buying whatever is convenient or perhaps we just end up stuffing some money or a gift card inside an envelope.  We do this instead of really thinking about the person and what kind of gift they would enjoy most.

I know a couple of people who literally suck all of the joy out of gift-giving.  Do you know anyone like that?  If they are around, they take all of the joy out of giving.  They tend to make you feel guilty for buying gifts, for giving gifts, for receiving gifts.

But they are missing the point.  Gifts aren’t necessarily about what we need.  Gifts are to show love, appreciation, and care.  I think we have this gift-giving thing all mixed up.  We rush around and feel burdened to “buy” a gift, instead of enjoying it.  Gift giving should be a blessing.

Think with me for a moment about your closest family and friends.  Have you expressed your love for them recently?  Think about those who serve you in some capacity…perhaps it is a mailman or a babysitter…a teacher or a crossing guard.  Do they know you appreciate them and what they do for you?  Think with me about your neighbors.  Do these people know you care?  (Do you care??)  Gifts do not have to be elaborate or expensive to make a statement.  They just need to be heartfelt and sincere.

And so it would be correct to say that many of us do not need anything.  But is that really the only thing that matters when it comes to giving gifts?  Perhaps it is time to start putting our hearts and some of our time into thoughtful gift-giving.   Let’s choose to bless someone this holiday season!

 

 

On purses and bad decisions

Leave a Comment / December 5, 2011

 

“Mom, can you cancel my bank card right now?” The distressed voice said quietly in my ear.  My mind quickly thought of a few scenarios that may have triggered this request, but I wasn’t expecting to hear that my daughter’s car was broken into while she and her boyfriend were delivering turkey dinners to the needy for Thanksgiving.

After a long and drawn out conversation with my bank to deactivate the card, I called my daughter back to get the longer version of what happened.  She had hidden and locked her purse in the car around 10am, when they had joined a group to deliver the dinners.  About five hours later she returned to a broken car window and a missing purse (along with a few other items).  Thankfully, she still had her iPhone and the car key.  But her favorite purse- a loss in and of itself- had contained a special key chain with all of her other keys, her glasses, her camera, her bankcard (with $300 stolen in a matter of hours), her license, and a number of other items hidden within the depths of that purse.

When she returned home, we had a long conversation about why it isn’t ever wise to leave your purse in a locked car in the city.  It wasn’t wrong–it just wasn’t wise.  If she had asked me (the older and wiser person in this case) I could have steered her in a different direction…at the very least I would have suggested she put it in the trunk.  While it caused some major inconvenience and expense, we all make mistakes and thankfully it wasn’t the end of her world.  You can get a new license.  You can get new glasses. You can buy a new camera.  And supposedly the bank is even going to return her money.

But it did make me wonder–how often could we spare ourselves consequences if we listened to someone wiser than ourselves?  Not only on the black and white issues that are clearly stated in God’s Word, but on the gray issues, too.

Some mistakes aren’t just inconvenient and expensive.  Some mistakes cost a lifetime…or a relationship…or your life savings.  Why are we so slow to ask for…and then follow…advice from someone older and wiser than ourselves?  Perhaps we don’t always need to learn the hard way.  What if there are people who learned through some very difficult circumstances and can tell us where our current path will probably lead?

That lady who married an unbeliever may tell you marrying an unbeliever is like playing Russian roulette.

The workaholic, now aware of his mistakes, may tell you that what he gained financially wasn’t worth what he lost in relationships.

The recovering alcoholic may tell you that it all started with a weekly trip to the bar.

The nagging wife may tell you that all her nagging got her was an unhappy marriage.

The recovering gambler may tell you that he would give anything to never have walked into a casino.

Oh, the wisdom that can be gained from listening to those who are older and wiser than ourselves.  But, no, we think it won’t happen to us.  We won’t become the alcoholic who destroys our family or the gambler that puts our family into financial jeopardy.  We think the person we marry will become saved… eventually.  We believe that “nagging is just my personality”.  Oh, we come up with all kinds of rationalizations, moving full speed ahead.

But do we have to always learn things the hard way?  Or does a wise person learn from the mistakes of others?  In fact, God’s Word, in Proverbs 19:20, instructs us to “listen to counsel and receive instruction, that you may be wise in your latter days.”   The person who shuts his eyes and proceeds to travel a dangerous path is going to fall.  It is not a matter of if…it is when.

Pride and stubbornness lead to heartache.  An unwillingness to listen to wise counsel leads to heartache.  And do you know what is the most heart-wrenching thing about this principle? It is that nine times out of ten–if the person would have just listened– they could have saved themselves such dreadful consequences.

As I write this, I think of a girl who just made this statement.  She has found herself in a terrible, awful mess.  About the worst you could find yourself in as a 22 year old.  And as she ended up tumbling down to the bottom of a very deep emotional chasm, she said to the person who had counseled her wisely several months before: “I should have listened to you.”  She wishes she would have listened to the wise counsel given to her.  But, for her, it is too late.  She has a long, dreary, difficult road ahead of her now.

We have one opportunity to live this life.  Only one.  And there is no guarantee on how long it  will last.  May we be wise and teachable.  May we learn from our elders.  May we not be so arrogant and naive to think we will be spared the obvious consequences of unwise behavior.  May we never think we are too old and wise to learn from the experiences of others. And most of all–may we desire to please the Lord in all that we do.

 

What’s It Like to Be Married to Me?

1 Comment / December 1, 2011

The title of this book caught my eye as I perused Amazon.  I can’t even remember what I was looking for…but it wasn’t a book on marriage.  But that title…it was a sermon in and of itself.  And I found myself really contemplating it.  What is it truly like for my husband to be married to me?  I have spent so many thoughts on what it is like to be married to him that I forgot the other side of the equation.

As I read Colossians 3 this morning, and then the similar passage in Ephesians 5, I realized something.  Oh, it was not a new thought to me, but God brought it to my attention this morning once again.   You want to hear my big insight?  Here it is:  I can only control me.  I can only control my actions, my thoughts, my words, my reactions, my heart, my mind, my body.  I am the only one who can control me and I am incapable of controlling anyone else.  This especially hits home in a marriage.

Whether my husband treats me wonderfully or badly…I still have a responsibility to respond in a way that pleases the Lord.  Whether my husband gets me roses or a vacuum for Valentine’s Day….I still have a responsibility to respond in a way that pleases the Lord.  Whether my husband gives me a back rub or a bag of laundry…I still have a responsibility to respond in a way that pleases the Lord.  You get the idea.

What is it like to be married to me?  I am not sure it is all that it should be.  In fact, I am sure it could be a much better experience for my dear husband.   May I continue to ask that question throughout the rest of my marriage.   It is my hope to be a blessing to my husband.  Sometimes we get so caught up in the busyness of life we forget to love and respect our husbands the way God instructs us in His Word.

And we could actually take a similar question and apply it to almost any of our relationships:

What’s it like to be my child?

What is it like to work with me at the office?

What is it like to be my parent? my sibling? my friend?

What is it like to go to church with me?

What if I was my neighbor?

What if I was on a committee with me?

If we find ourselves in a difficult relationship that is full of hurt and anger or just a stilted, uncomfortable relationship, perhaps this is a good place to start.  Let’s “put the shoe on the other foot”.  Let’s think about how we present ourselves–what kind of tone we use, our body language, our facial expressions. Let’s think for a moment what we may have said, how we may have acted or reacted, the expression or lack of expression that may have been hurtful or unkind.

I think, so often–at least in my life–I spend most of my time thinking about how the other person did something, said something, hurt me, etc.  instead of the reverse question.  Because, after all, it is much easier to think about the faults of others than my own faults.

And so, God continues to use His Word to teach me.   And sometimes He uses wise authors who, even by the title of their book, can speak to me.  I haven’t read the book yet (see link below) but I did buy it.  Because you are never too old to work on your marriage!

http://www.amazon.com/Whats-Like-Married-Dangerous-Questions/dp/1434700569/ref=tmm_pap_title_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1322698701&sr=1-1

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