It seems appropriate to take a moment and focus on marriage today, as my husband and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary yesterday. It feels like it was just last week that we were two excited kids getting started on our life together…and yet it feels like a lifetime ago. During those years we have grown and changed and evolved into two very different people than when we started. It really is a miracle that two people can love each other and live together in peace (most of the time!) for so long. We are both sinners who still struggle against selfishness and pride on a very frequent basis. Unfortunately, “sinners” do not magically become “non-sinners” the day they say “I do”. Both Eric and I will attest that it takes a lot of love, forgiveness, humility, and communication to make our marriage enjoyable. Most of all, the success of our marriage depends on taking every issue we face back to God and His Word, always using it as our guide.
But this is Wednesday Wisdom, which means I bring someone else’s writing to you instead of my own. And so I would like to share a paragraph I found in a book entitled What’s It Like to Be Married to Me? I thought it summed up, quite nicely, the beauty of marriage–
Emotional intimacy is being “naked and unashamed.” To be fully known; my darkest thoughts, hateful words, biggest disappointments, and greatest fears—and yet be fully loved and accepted. To know that I have given my heart to my husband, that he takes seriously the role of protector; that he is careful with my heart. And I am careful with his heart. It is knowing him so well and having such a deep understanding of him that I can trust him beyond circumstances. It is being so entwined with one another, yet so different, that we are like one plant putting off two very different blooms.
Dillow, Linda (2011-02-01). What’s It Like to Be Married to Me?: And Other Dangerous Questions (p.89-90). David C Cook. Kindle Edition.
Have you ever just stood by the ocean and contemplated just how deep and wide is the love of God? There are few songs that express the love of God as fully as this one. Thanks to the CCM group, Mercy Me, there is a generation of young people who have become familiar with it. If you have never heard it, I encourage you to listen to their version here. It is a beautiful old hymn.
THE LOVE OF GOD
(Verse 1)
The love of God is greater far
Than tongue or pen can ever tell;
It goes beyond the highest star,
And reaches to the lowest hell;
The guilty pair, bowed down with care,
God gave His Son to win;
His erring child He reconciled,
And pardoned from his sin.
Refrain:
Oh, love of God, how rich and pure!
How measureless and strong!
It shall forevermore endure—
The saints’ and angels’ song.
(Verse 2)
When hoary time shall pass away,
And earthly thrones and kingdoms fall,
When men who here refuse to pray,
On rocks and hills and mountains call,
God’s love so sure, shall still endure,
All measureless and strong;
Redeeming grace to Adam’s race—
The saints’ and angels’ song.
(Verse 3)
Could we with ink the ocean fill,
And were the skies of parchment made,
Were every stalk on earth a quill,
And every man a scribe by trade;
To write the love of God above
Would drain the ocean dry;
Nor could the scroll contain the whole,
Though stretched from sky to sky.
But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us, Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are saved); And hath raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus.Ephesians 2:4-6
But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8
Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend into heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there. If I take the wings of the morning, And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, Even there Your hand shall lead me, And Your right hand shall hold me. Psalm 139:7-10
Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 1 John 4:10
The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee. Jeremiah 31:3
For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39
This reading, taken from Spurgeon’s Morning and Evening devotions seems especially appropriate as this is the time of year where we really start enjoying the fresh fruits and vegetables of an abundant harvest. Just as harvest time brings glorious days for the farmer, so, too, it is a great time to remember the mercy and provision of our heavenly Father.
All the year round, every hour of every day, God is richly blessing us; both when we sleep and when we wake His mercy waits upon us. The sun may leave us a legacy of darkness, but our God never ceases to shine upon His children with beams of love. Like a river, His lovingkindness is always flowing, with a fulness inexhaustible as His own nature. Like the atmosphere which constantly surrounds the earth, and is always ready to support the life of man, the benevolence of God surrounds all His creatures; in it, as in their element, they live, and move, and have their being. Yet as the sun on summer days gladdens us with beams more warm and bright than at other times, and as rivers are at certain seasons swollen by the rain, and as the atmosphere itself is sometimes fraught with more fresh, more bracing, or more balmy influences than heretofore, so is it with the mercy of God; it hath its golden hours; its days of overflow, when the Lord magnifieth His grace before the sons of men. Amongst the blessings of the nether springs, the joyous days of harvest are a special season of excessive favour. It is the glory of autumn that the ripe gifts of providence are then abundantly bestowed; it is the mellow season of realization, whereas all before was but hope and expectation. Great is the joy of harvest. Happy are the reapers who fill their arms with the liberality of heaven. The Psalmist tells us that the harvest is the crowning of the year. Surely these crowning mercies call for crowning thanksgiving! Let us render it by the inward emotions of gratitude. Let our hearts be warmed; let our spirits remember, meditate, and think upon this goodness of the Lord. Then let us praise Him with our lips, and laud and magnify His name from whose bounty all this goodness flows. Let us glorify God by yielding our gifts to His cause. A practical proof of our gratitude is a special thank-offering to the Lord of the harvest.
A dear friend of mine gave me a book called Essential Virtues: Marks of the Christ-Centered Life by Jim Berg. It is based on the first chapter of 2 Peter, more specifically 2 Peter 1:5-11.
Before he writes about how we can and why we should grow more like Christ, he first takes a minute to make sure we actually belong to Christ. He gives one of the best analogies I have ever heard and uses the natural process of a seed to make his point. It is my hope that this may help clarify why the lie of “easy-believism” is so dangerous–
You have probably walked out of a superstore or other retail shop only to have the alarm go off as you exited the building. An alert store clerk may have approached you and asked to see your receipt. He was asking you to produce something that would demonstrate you truly did own the goods you were saying were yours.
Peter is doing the same thing in this passage, saying in effect, “If you do not have these virtues growing and developing in you, and you have no motivation to cultivate them, then you better check to see if you, indeed, possess, any saving faith upon which these are built.”
Do you remember in grade school when your teacher gave you a paper cup with potting soil in it, and you planted a bean or corn seed in the cup for a science experiment? You set your cups on the classroom windowsill, and in a few days some sprouts began to appear.
Suppose that nothing sprouted in your cup. Your teacher would say, “I’m sorry, but I guess your seed is dead.” You might even protest, “No, it’s not. I remember planting the seed.”
Regardless of whether you remember planting the seed, your seed is dead. Many believers who show no evidence of growth in Christ still protest that they remember a time when they asked God to save them. Peter, however, warns them to understand that if there is no growth, there is no saving faith. The receipt that they possess salvation is the evidence of some measure of Christ-likeness in their life. “Lack of spiritual growth is a sign of spiritual death.” If there is no desire to develop and no evidence of these virtues, there is no saving faith. The person has what James called a “dead faith” (James 2:14-26). His greatest need is to bow in repentance before The God he has ignored and accept Christ as his Savior from his sins. He will then possess an eternal life that will sprout likeness to Christ in him.
This is from the newsletter of Jan Markell at OliveTree Views.org. I do believe that we Christians often forget that we know the ending of the story. I found this encouraging and hope that you do, too–
If you’re like me, you’re fed up. You’re disgusted that evil always seems to win! You wonder why God allows serial liars in government and elsewhere to keep prospering and even to win re-election in many places. Just being aware of the fact that we’re in an Isaiah 5:20 world isn’t enough: that we’re likely in the midst of evil being called good.
We have unspeakable atrocities going on at the highest levels. People are being silenced on Benghazi and the perpetrators are still running free. America funds one of the most evil outfits on earth: the Muslim Brotherhood. All Americans are being spied on! What I’m typing here in real time is likely being recorded somewhere. You and I are being watched and listened to as if we were criminals. Truth is, we are being watched by criminals — the ones who are murdering the Constitution. And soon we’re going to have to trust the most corrupt institution there is – the IRS – to administer our healthcare.
And even if we rioted in the streets, or started a third, fourth, or fifth political party, we wouldn’t see much of a change for the good. Government is supposed to serve us yet it is clearly operating the other way around and to many, government has now become a god. Just quoting the familiar verse from Proverbs 29:2, “When the wicked rule, the people mourn,” is not a comfort. We want to throw the wicked bums out and cannot.
Most of us are weary of being outraged. We’re outraged at media obsession or, the other side of the coin, media neglect. We’re outraged that those in power never let a good crisis go to waste so they stoke the flames, lie even more, and promote an evil agenda.
And it isn’t enough to suggest that because we’re in the last of the last days that we have to sit and watch as tornadoes, floods, fires, droughts, and more, rip apart the lives of good people who just happened to be in their path. It’s too heartbreaking. On many days, we cannot echo the words of Job, “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him” because if God is all powerful, He would put a stop to the mayhem and wipe out the corrupt. (That happens, but later!)
Set aside the world for a minute and let’s consider the church. We’re outraged that people love false teachers and that they cannot see that they are false! We’re driven nuts by the death of discernment. We watch a lot of Christians today beat up on one another probably for their own personal gain. We’re sick of the religious Left deluding Christians to take their focus off of the gospel and onto global warming, immigration, and social justice. And we’re even more outraged when these Christian Leftists parade around as evangelicals, but then we’re saddened that the word evangelical has become so trashed.
My favorite political commentator, Erick Erickson, says, “I think the world is going to hell. But I believe in God the Father and in His son, Jesus Christ, and the Second Coming, and a judgment, and a final victory over death and sin and evil, and a life everlasting where I will walk one day beside my very real Creator. The rest? It’s rather small potatoes in the eternal scheme of things. God is permanent and politics and political coalitions are not.”
Erickson continues, “I get why so many on the secular left, who don’t believe in a Heaven or a Hell, get so upset about certain things and want to politicize everything. To them, this life is all there is and every advantage, in politics and culture, is fair game.”
He concludes, “The grand story is that there is good news available. God didn’t ignore the evil that the Fall produced by sin. He spoke by the entrance of His Son, Jesus, into the world (Hebrews 1:2). When Jesus cried those anguished three words on the cross, ‘It is finished,‘ it signaled the beginning of the end. The power of sin and death, which so strangles the human soul, which ravages the planet, which obscures the glory and grandeur of our great God — this has been defeated, and like a helium balloon, is dying a slow death.
“Evil, my friends, is not winning. The story of the Bible is that there is hope in the death, burial, and resurrection of the Perfect One, the Son of God.”
Thanks, Erick, for putting things into a proper perspective!
Yes, war is coming to the Middle East, the dollar will continue to melt, the economy will not recover, people will continue to let you down and betray you, selfishness will always be out of control, and everyone you know will tell big and little lies to cover up their basically rotten human nature. The very person you just put a trainload of trust in will make a whopper of a mistake and get away with it. The love of money will get even more out of control and mankind will continue to thump his chest and declare that he is the best at you-fill-in-the-blank.
Nothing in this world works very well. That’s by design.
That is why Paul exhorts us to forget the things behind us and to look forward to what lies ahead. He pressed on to win the goal of a Heavenly prize leaving behind all the earthly, broken systems. (Philippians 3:13-14)
Fear is a choice. Frustration is a choice. Trust is a choice. “Do not fear” is in the Bible 365 times.Is there a message there? It is an act of faith to look at this world and not fear. Not be anxious. Not be angry. Not be frustrated. Focusing on eternal things neutralizes the attitude and the angry juices in your gut telling you that you can’t stomach one more dilemma.
My sister-in-law sent me an e-mail the other day. In it she included three or four of the life resolutions that Jonathan Edwards had written. They were compelling and I found myself searching for the book that contained them. What I found was a small book written in 1723 by 20 year-old Edwards containing 70 life resolutions. His goal was to read over the resolutions once each week. No sowing wild oats for him. No wasting time on the pursuits of most 20 year-olds. Here was a young man who took his spiritual life very, very seriously. Here are several of the resolutions that gave me cause for thought–
Resolution 7 Resolved, never to do anything, which I should be afraid to do, if it were the last hour of my life.
Resolution 15 Resolved, never to suffer the least motions of anger to irrational beings.
Resolution 20 Resolved, to maintain the strictest temperance in eating and drinking.
Resolution 21 Resolved, never to do anything, which if I should see in another, I should count a just occasion to despise him for, or to think any way the more meanly of him.
Resolution 24 Resolved, whenever I do any conspicuously evil action, to trace it back, till I come to the original cause; and then both carefully endeavour to do so no more, and to fight and pray with all my might.
Resolution 25 Resolved, to examine carefully, and constantly, what that one thing in me is, which causes me in the least to doubt of the love of God; and to direct all my forces against it.
Resolution 28 Resolved, to study the Scriptures so steadily, constantly and frequently, as that I may find, and plainly perceive myself to grow in the knowledge of the same.
Resolution 33 Resolved, always to do what I can towards making, maintaining, establishing and preserving peace, when it can be without over-balancing detriment in other respects.
Resolution 34 Resolved, in narrations never to speak anything but the pure and simple verity.
Resolution 36 Resolved, never to speak evil of any, except I have some particular good call for it.
Resolution 37 Resolved, to enquire every night, as I am going to bed, wherein I have been negligent, what sin I have committed, and wherein I have denied myself: also at the end of every week, month and year.
Resolution 41 Resolved, to ask myself at the end of every day, week, month and year, wherein I could possibly in any respect have done better.
Resolution 52 I frequently hear persons in old age say how they would live, if they were to live their lives over again: Resolved, that I will live just so as I can think I shall wish I had done, supposing I live.
Resolution 56 Resolved, never to give over, nor in the least to slacken my fight with my corruptions, however unsuccessful I may be.
Resolution 57 Resolved, when I fear misfortunes and adversities, to examine whether I have done my duty, and resolve to do it; and let it be just as providence orders it, I will as far as I can, be concerned about.
Resolution 58 Resolved, not only to refrain from an air of dislike, fretfulness, and anger in conversation, but to exhibit an air of love, cheerfulness and benignity.
Resolution 61 Resolved, that I will not give way to that listlessness which I find unbends and relaxes my mind from being fully and fixedly set on religion, whatever excuse I may have for it — that what my listlessness inclines me to do, is best to be done, etc.
Edwards, Jonathan (2012-04-16). The Resolutions of Jonathan Edwards. Counted Faithful. Kindle Edition.
My youngest daughter and her cousin started a charity organization called Hearts4theWorld awhile ago. You can read about their organization over at Hearts4theWorld.net. They started off with a bang, but, as is often the case, are now struggling to keep the public’s interest. In her blog there, my daughter has expressed some of the feelings, frustration, and thoughts about the last few months. As I was proofreading it for her, her thoughts encouraged me. If we feel like we are definitely doing something the Lord wants us to do, we need to keep doing it until He makes it clear that we should stop. But sometimes that is hard and discouraging, as these two young girls are finding out. I am proud of the lesson my daughter is learning, written here by her, and believe her thoughts will encourage you, too–
Have you ever had that feeling where you wanted to do something important, something big? What did you do with it? Did you waste it? Did you start… And then when it got a little bit too hard, did you quit? Or did you follow through?
We had all these questions when we were thinking about starting Hearts4theWorld. We got the motivation to do something, something bigger than we had ever done before. But when we thought through it a little more, we realized that this might be a little harder than we thought. How would we send the Bibles where they need to go? Who would hand them out? How would we get our name out there? Would people even like our bottle cap creations? We had to think about all of these questions. We prayed a lot about everything, because we knew that we would get nowhere without God. God provided us with an awesome link in Haiti, and there began our mission. In the beginning, our friends and family bought from us and told their friends. We were so excited and everything was working out perfectly! But as time continued, business slowed down, likes on our page decreased, and views on our Etsy site got fewer and fewer. We were confused, we were disappointed, and weren’t sure what exactly went wrong. But we knew we couldn’t give up. We decided not to quit in the beginning and aren’t gonna even think about it now.
But, we have to admit, we did think it might be easier if we just took a “break” for a little while. But we knew that’s not what we should do. As people say “when the going gets tough, the tough get going”. We thought about other things we had done in life. Did we give up when something went wrong? Of course not! We kept on trying! So as we’re at this point, where we’re just not quite sure how to put our business out there for people to see and to like what they see. We decided not to give up, but to completely and totally lean on God. After all, He is the one who planted this idea and love for the world in our hearts. So He can do what He wants and in His own time! After all, patience is a virtue! ;) But that’s not to say that we’re just gonna stand back and say God run the business! No! Of course that’s not what we mean. We’re obviously going to keep trying new ideas, but we just want to put everything that we do in God’s hands and in His time.
So what does this mean for you in your life? Well the point we’re trying to get across is never give up. No matter if it’s a sport, an instrument, school or a mission like this! And if you have motivation to do something (If it’s motivation to do something good) then go for it! What do you have to lose? Maybe you’ll say “It’ll be embarrassing if it doesn’t work out” or “My friends wouldn’t think this would be cool”. Who cares?! All that really matters at the end of the day is did you do your best and do it for the glory of God? Now I’ll be honest, I was a little embarrassed at times because it’s not like there’s a lot of kids starting their own organizations or anything. But then I would think… What is our goal in life? Is it to fit in and be “cool” or is it to honor God in everything I do? You have to make that decision for yourself. But for us, the answer is clear. So we hope you think about what we’ve said and make your own decision to rely on God when your dream isn’t working out exactly as you had planned.
This week’s Wednesday Wisdom comes from John MacArthur, one of my very favorite resources for biblical teaching. All of his sermons are available for free download from his website Grace to You (gty.org) and I highly recommend them. He has really helped me grow in my understanding of God’s Word. The portion I present here today is from the blog that is found on the Grace to You website. It’s about just how incredibly powerful our thought life is (something we often forget)–
Do you realize that the difference between a sincere, Spirit‑controlled, devoted, godly, obedient Christian and a defeated, weak, struggling Christian is what takes place in the mind? They may be attending the same church, active in the same ministries, and externally doing the same things, but one is defeated and the other lives a spiritually fruitful life. The difference is the thought life.
One day the difference will be made manifest. Paul told the Corinthians that when the Lord comes, He “will both bring to light the things hidden in the darkness and disclose the motives of men’s hearts” (1 Corinthians 4:5). Jesus said something similar: “Nothing is hidden that will not become evident, nor anything secret that shall not be known and come to light” (Luke 8:17). And, “Beware of the leaven of the Pharisees, which is hypocrisy. But there is nothing covered up that will not be revealed, and hidden that will not be known” (Luke 12:1-2).
I urge you to look deeply into the mirror of God’s Word (James 1:23-24), which is a powerful “discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart” (Hebrews 4:12, KJV). As Jeremiah counseled Israel, “Wash your heart from evil, O Jerusalem, that you may be saved. How long will your wicked thoughts lodge within you?” (Jeremiah 4:14). And as Paul said, “let us cleanse ourselves from all defilement of flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God” (2 Corinthians 7:1).
How can we deal with the problem of evil thoughts? The process is like mortifying any other sin.
First, confess and forsake the sin. “Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; and let him return to the Lord, and He will have compassion on him; and to our God, for He will abundantly pardon” (Isaiah 55:7, emphasis added). If your thought life harbors sins of immorality, sins of anger toward someone, sins of vengeance, sins of bitterness, sins of covetousness, or whatever, confess them to God. Repent and ask forgiveness. If we confess, He is faithful and just to forgive and keep on cleansing (1 John 1:9).
Refuse to entertain those thoughts. Purpose to abandon your wrong thought patterns immediately and begin to build new, righteous habits. If you find yourself slipping into old ways of thinking, confess your sin and refuse once again to give place to evil thoughts. Consciously direct your mind to fix itself on pure things: “Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things” (Philippians 4:8). In other words, reprogram your mind with truth and righteousness.
Feed on the Word of God. “Your word I have treasured in my heart, that I may not sin against You” (Psalm 119:11). The Word insulates the mind. It strengthens the heart. It occupies the soul and fortifies it against evil thoughts. Only as we use the sword of the Spirit skillfully can we mortify our fleshly imaginations (Ephesians 6:17).
Avoid evil attractions. Don’t expose yourself to activities, images, or conversations that provoke evil thoughts. Like Job, make a covenant with your eyes (Job 31:1)—or with your ears, or with whatever sensations lead you into evil thoughts. Refuse to feed any tendencies that draw your imagination into wickedness. This is what Jesus meant figuratively when he said, “If your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. If your right hand makes you stumble, cut it off and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to go into hell” (Matthew 5:29-30).
Cultivate the love of God. David said in Psalm 119:97, “O how I love Your law! It is my meditation all the day.” And then four verses later he said, “I have restrained my feet from every evil way.” If we set our minds on things above, things on the earth will cease to hold the same fascination for us (Colossians 3:2). “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matthew 6:21)—and where your affections are set, your thoughts will be there as well.
David ended Psalm 19, his great paean to the sufficiency of Scripture, with these words:
Who can discern his errors? Acquit me of hidden faults. Also keep back Your servant from presumptuous sins; let them not rule over me; then I will be blameless, and I shall be acquitted of great transgression. Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my rock and my Redeemer (vv. 12-14).
That is the state of mind of every truly godly person. It is also the goal of biblical instruction: “love from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith” (1 Timothy 1:5).
So, how’s your thought life?
You can find this post here, along with many other helpful resources.
I stumbled upon this song quite by accident but it struck a chord within me. In a one-dimensional world of Christian music, mostly based only on ME, this song fell like refreshing rain as this turns our focus instead towards God and glorifying Him, no matter what befalls us. What is the purpose of trials, anyway? The line in the song says it best: “I long for nothing else, as long as YOU are glorified.” Comfort, convenience, pain-free, tear-free are all nice things to be but they are no guarantee when we walk with the Lord. This songs says it better than I ever could. (I have included a link after the lyrics, if you’d like to hear it)–
As Long As You Are Glorified
Shall I take from Your hand Your blessings
Yet not welcome any pain,
Shall I thank You for days of sunshine
Yet grumble in days of rain
Shall I love You in times of plenty
Then leave You in days of drought
Shall I trust when I reap a harvest
But when winter winds blow then doubt
Oh, let Your will be done in me
In Your love I will abide
Oh I long for nothing else as long
As You are glorified.
Are You good only when I prosper
And true only when I’m filled
Are you King only when I’m carefree
And God only when I’m well
You are good when I’m poor and needy
You are true when I’m parched and dry
You still reign in the deepest valley
You’re still God in the darkest night.
So quiet my restless heart!
Quiet my restless heart!
Quiet me restless heart in You.
Last Sunday was Father’s Day. What a wonderful day to celebrate the men who have shaped us and who are shaping our children. I feel indeed blessed to not only have had an exceptional father, but also to have an exceptional father for my children.
I heard this blog post read the other day and was struck by its simplicity, its truth, and its applicability (is that a word??) to both dads and moms. But before we move on to the article, we need to face a hard truth: it is a rare father that does all 21 of these things. And mine certainly didn’t. But then he (and my husband) both have their own unique personalities and good traits that aren’t listed in this article.
If we are mothers reading this, then let’s appreciate the good things that are written here and also the wonderful things that may not be included here about our fathers and husbands. Let’s apply what we can and become better mothers.
If you are a father reading this, then I present this as encouragement and inspiration–not as a source of dissatisfaction or hopelessness. Be the best, most godly father you can be with the resources you have. That is all God asks of you.
And on a personal note, in this article the author shares how his father rubbed his legs when he was suffering from growing pains as a child. His mention of this brought one of my own favorite memories of my father rushing to my memory. How well I remember him rubbing my aching legs in the middle of the night, while we talked about what heaven will be like. It is one of my fondest memories of time spent with my dad.
This was written by father and pastor, JoshMcPherson. You can find his original post here.
I don’t want to be a good dad—I want to be a great dad.
But the longer I live and more ministry I do, the more I have come to realize there are precious few examples of grace in action when it comes to fatherhood. So on this Father’s Day, I wanted to take a moment, heed Paul’s exhortation (Eph. 6:1), and honor my own father, Greg.
Was he perfect? Nope.
Did he make mistakes? Sure.
Does he wish he could do things differently? I have no idea.
But in a land where few men finish well when it comes to the daunting task of fatherhood, I’ve found myself reflecting and marveling at the grace of God in my dad’s life. He loved Jesus, repented often, and poured his life into his two sons. How much more could a boy ask for?
In your life, Dad, I have found a roadmap for my own role as father. So I wanted to take a few moments, and tell you thanks from the heart of a grateful son. Specifically, thank you for . . .
1. NEVER PUTTING ME DOWN
Not once. You never made fun of me, mocked me, or talked about me like I wasn’t there. Never was I the butt of your jokes. In everything you built me up, encouraged me, and moved me forward. You always spoke of my future with great hope. “The Lord will give you great opportunities, Josh. Jesus has great plans for you, son.” This sort of prophetic encouragement every boy needs, and I got it in bushels. Thanks, Dad.
2. RUNNING INTO MY ROOM
. . . the night I screamed in agony from growing pains. I was eight. You were half asleep. Tripping on a toy you went sprawling across the room in your underwear. We both burst out laughing. Then you rubbed my leg-cramps for an hour. I slept in the next day; you were up at 5 a.m. and out the door. You put my need to be comforted in front of your need for sleep. Thanks, Dad.
You loved Jesus passionately and it drew me in.
3. BEING THE TOUGHEST MAN I KNOW
. . . and crying in front of me often. It’s good for a boy to see both. I’ve seen you cut down trees, fix tractors, build things, and tackle gut-wrenching church conflict with unflinching courage and razor-sharp biblical clarity. I’ve also seen you listen intently, hug often, and tear up quickly when moved by someone’s pain or God’s grace. Not the helpless, whimpering, cowardly sort of tears—the genuine, earnest, heartfelt tears of a man who feels and thinks deeply. You cry easily when talking about Jesus, the gospel, redemption, and the day God called you into ministry. I love that. Thanks, Dad.
I never felt more safe and loved than when held in your arms.
4. RAISING YOUR HANDS
. . . and singing loudly with the church. I distinctly remember as a young boy looking up and seeing tears roll down your cheek during worship. I couldn’t articulate it then, but I knew that you were singing to someone who meant everything to you, who was great and big and awesome and worthy of your allegiance, and who gave you great joy. That is a gift to a young man. You didn’t tell me to love Jesus passionately—you loved Jesus passionately and it drew me in. Thanks, Dad.
5. SPANKING US, THEN HUGGING US
That is a powerful parenting combination that no child’s heart can resist. I never felt more safe and loved than when held in your arms as the sting of the spank faded and the assurance of your unshakable love filled my little heart. Redemptive discipline is a precious thing. Thanks, Dad.
6. LEAVING ME NOTES ON THE BATHROOM MIRROR
Sometimes they were a verse written out you’d read that morning, or a prayer for something big I was facing, or an apology for something said the night before. No matter the occasion, they were always encouraging, full of Scripture, and right on point. This told me you were thinking about me even when you were gone, and were vested in my success. Huge. I still have most of them to this day. Thanks, Dad.
Always you were there, Bible in hand, heart open, mind working.
7. PUTTING MY FRIENDS TO WORK
Mowing the lawn, cleaning the garage, working on a project in the shop. Every time my friends came over to our house, you worked us like dogs. I could never figure out why all the guys always wanted to come to my house.
But I figured it out later: you treated them like men. And then you’d fire up the BBQ and spend the rest of the day asking us what we wanted to do with our life that would make an eternal impact. Thanks, Dad.
8. READING YOUR BIBLE EVERY MORNING
That is the biggest memory I have: you, at the kitchen table, worn Bible in front of you, studying away. Not checking Facebook. Not returning email. Not reading the paper. Soaking in the Word. Sometimes tears were running down your face. Sometimes your eyebrows were burrowed in thought. Sometimes your head was bowed in prayer. Sometimes your pen was scratching furiously in your journal. But always you were there, Bible in hand, heart open, mind working. It left an indelible imprint on the life of a young boy about how a real man starts his day. Thanks, Dad.
9. LAUGHING LOUD, LONG, AND LOTS
At the dinner table. On a hunting trip. Or just whenever. Some of the most fun memories I have include watching you slap your thigh, throw back your head, and roar with laughter. I loved hearing your laugh. Still do to this day. You took many things in life blood-earnest, but you laughed at yourself often. That is a gift that has served me well in ministry. Thanks, Dad.
10. CHARGING ME RENT
You did this the day I turned 18 and was still living in your house. All of my other friends learned to freeload. I learned to work. And it wasn’t done as a cruel punishment, but a teaching moment for taking responsibility and growing up as a man. Thanks, Dad.
You were not living life unless you’re serving others and God’s kingdom.
11. LOVING ME WITHOUT QUESTION OR HESITATION
I have questioned many things in my life, doubted many things, faced many unknowns. But there is one thing of which I have never questioned: your love for me has been unwavering and relentless, dependable and true. It’s taught me a lot about how I am loved by my better heavenly Father. Thanks, Dad.
12. TURNING DOWN SPEAKING ENGAGEMENTS
. . . so you “wouldn’t miss the important years.” I didn’t appreciate it then. I do now. Thanks, Dad.
13. WRESTLING WITH US AS KIDS
. . . every night when you came home from work. You were probably exhausted from work, but knew we were waiting behind the couch to launch a surprise attack. You could have said you were too tired. But you didn’t. You wrestled until, giggling and short of breath, we begged for mercy (and asked for more at the same time). Thanks, Dad.
14. FILLING THE DINNER TABLE WITH STORIES OF GOSPEL VICTORIES
These were the best moments ever. To hear of a broken person made whole through the redeeming work of Jesus. My big takeaway from our dinner conversations was that you were not living life unless you’re serving others and investing in God’s kingdom. You whetted our appetite for gospel ministry early. Thanks, Dad.
15. READING THE PICTURE BIBLE EVERY NIGHT BEFORE BED
And oh, how you brought it to life! When Moses faced the Red Sea, I was overwhelmed with despair. When David stared down Goliath, I trembled with fear. When Jesus rose from the grave, we cheered and clapped for joy. Dad, when you read the Bible, The Story came to life. It’s no wonder your two boys have given their life to teaching others that same Bible. Thanks, Dad.
16. BUYING A HOT TUB
. . . so we could have a place to “hash things over.” Some of my best memories as a teen are coming home after something happened at school or with sports or with friends and asking, “Wanna hit the tub, Dad?” and knowing that you’d never say no, so we could have life-shaping conversations. Thanks, Dad.
17. TEACHING US THE IMPORTANCE OF MENTORS
You did this by having multiple mentors yourself and regularly showing us how they helped you. To this day, learning from men around me is a deeply held value of mine, one that has served me, my wife, our family, and our church well. Thanks, Dad.
A wise man is not a perfect man, but a repentant man.
18. SITTING ON THE FRONT ROW
. . . at church, Bible open, taking furious notes and bellowing hearty “Amen’s” while I preach. In this, you show me what it’s like for a man to be a lifelong learner.
19. CONFESSING SIN OFTEN
You were not perfect, but when you messed up, you were quick to confess it and repent of it. These made me feel safe, like I could follow you without fear. There was integrity in your life, and it gave me confidence in your leadership. You taught me by your example that a wise man is not a perfect man, but a repentant man. Thanks, Dad.
20. BEING THE FIRST PERSON I WANTED TO CALL
. . . when we found out Ella Mae would be born with Spina Bifida. That was a dark-night-of-the-soul moment. A confusing time. And all I knew was I needed to call my dad. You listened and affirmed your love for us and God’s plan in all the pain. Then you prayed with us and invited us over to the house. We needed to “talk it out and make a plan for this new little blessing God’s bringing into our lives.” I needed someone to tell me that day that this little girl would be a blessing, and you did. Thanks, Dad.
21. LOVING MY WIFE LIKE YOUR OWN DAUGHTER
She feels your love, she feels your support. She knows that if we came to you for counsel with a relationship conflict between us, that you’d take her side first before you’d take mine. “I think we love her more than we love you, Josh. I know we like her more,” you’ve said with a wink and a laugh. But it’s communicated the point. And that’s a wonderful thing for a daughter-in-law to know. Thanks, Dad.
I could go on but I’m way over word-count. So thanks, Dad, for loving Jesus and living a life that makes it easy to remember and honor. I love you deeply and am still watching closely as you follow Jesus and finish well. You have lived a life worth emulating, and I’ve been taking notes. May I learn from God’s grace in your life to love my children the same.
