Struggles

Getting Dropped

2 Comments / April 30, 2012
Watching our car go up in smoke

I read through the letter in my hand. Disbelief was first. Then came anger. And, finally, resignation. After all, what could we do?  What I was looking at was a letter from the auto insurance company we had been with for over 20 years. I held a letter stating that they were dropping our family due to two cars being totaled within two years. Really? These were the first big accidents that had occurred in our family in all of those years. Apparently that doesn’t matter in the auto insurance world.

And, suddenly, we were on the hunt for a new auto insurance company, which wasn’t going to be easy given that we were just “dropped” by our former company. I called a couple of different agents and they started running the numbers. It wasn’t looking great. Finally, I got a call with a pretty decent number. The estimate was e-mailed and as I went over it my eyes slid to the words “6 month policy”. Oh, great. No wonder the number was decent – it was only for 6 months. So that meant the quoted number was multiplied times two for what looked like a pretty outrageous yearly rate.

Frustration set in. It just didn’t seem fair. In fact, when the agent called me about setting up the policy I started complaining about  how unfair life is in the insurance world. She kindly said she understood and the conversation continued on like that for a moment.

And then, all of a sudden, I stopped. It dawned on me that we are all still alive after two serious accidents. It really was amazing that we walked away without injuries or even death. And then I thought of something else to be thankful for: we can afford to pay the new policy. Oh, we don’t like it and it is annoying…but we can afford it. I was ashamed. I was complaining when I should have been thanking the Lord, once again, for sparing my family in not one, but two, accidents. I should have been thanking the Lord that we were not making a choice between driving and eating.

Oftentimes the irritations we face in life are such small trials in the scope of life. They are inconvenient and annoying. We view them as major trials because they take us out of our comfort zones and force us to go a different direction than we wanted to go. Meanwhile, all around us, are people who are going through what I would call real trials – a loved one with cancer, a birth defect that changes everything, or the loss of a job and questions about survival, just to name a few.

James 1:2 tells us to count it all joy when you fall into various trials. We all face various trials – some are very small and some are very large. But through it all, it is very important to keep perspective and a thankful heart. Many of the small trials grow very dim in the light of the many blessings we have.

And so our family is paying an exorbitant amount for auto insurance this year. But we are all alive and it won’t keep us from eating so I am thankful!

Pushing Too Hard

4 Comments / April 26, 2012

A few evenings ago I found myself grating soap for a project*.  Three bars of Fels-Naptha soap had to be grated into a bucket for this project to be completed.   And so I unwrapped the first bar and started grating.  I pushed really hard on the grater and could feel its plastic frame bending beneath the pressure.  My arm grew tired and I started wondering what I had gotten myself into.  When I had only a little bit of that first bar left, it hit me.  Pushing the soap onto the grater so strongly may be hindering this process…not helping.  And so with the next bar, I decided to let the grater do the work.  Instead of pushing, I simply guided the soap.  The last two bars went so much more smoothly than that first one and were half the work.  And I realized that had I kept pushing so hard, I would have probably broken my grater and came away from the project with a very sore arm.

And I wondered…could this be similar to how it works with someone we love?  Specifically, I was thinking of my husband and older children.  When I see something in their lives that just isn’t honoring the Lord, do I tend to push (nag, complain, punish, constantly bring it up)?

Of course, there are situations where we have to push.  But, more often than not, in my own personal experience, pushing leads to broken relationships and a very tired “pusher”.  Could it be that guiding and praying is a better way to deal with some situations?

I can think of several issues over the years where this has been true, but most recently, a specific issue comes to mind.  A few years ago I became very concerned about a pattern I was seeing in the life of one of my children.  This child was drinking multiple sodas every day and eating a ton of candy. They were old enough to make their own decisions and spent enough time outside our home that I could not control what they were putting into their body. I grew worried about the long-term ramifications of this pattern and so I started pushing. “You shouldn’t be drinking this.”  “You shouldn’t be eating that.”  I was mostly ignored. “I’ve got to die from something, Mom,” they would say. After awhile, I realized that my words weren’t helping and I backed off and started praying.

That was probably a year ago now.  A few months ago, this child started making changes in their eating patterns. Awareness had dawned and changes were following. Only a few weeks ago, this same child came to me one morning and shared their serious intention to start curbing their sugar intake.  Their choices since then shows that they meant what they said that day. Wow.  Really?  Thank you, Lord!  You can change my child without my constant pushing and nagging!

Parenting is tough. Marriage is tough. But perhaps sometimes we make it so much harder when we try to push and pull and be the ones to bring about change in the lives of the ones we love instead of leaving it up to God?

And that is what I learned from grating a few bars of soap.

 

 

*In case you are curious, the project was making my own powdered detergent for my HE washer. I found the recipe on Pinterest and thought I would give it a try. I have used it for several loads already and so far, so good!

“Enough” Day

Leave a Comment / July 14, 2015

Perhaps it is time to let the Joneses know that the war is over and they have won. Perhaps we should declare Enough Day. Enough of keeping up with the Joneses, enough gadgets, enough clothing. As I browsed through a New York City store on Saturday, I became aware of how important this declaration is. As my daughter and I walked through the store and saw the expensive earrings, the amazing dresses, and the stylish shirts, the gnawing of “if only” started in our hearts. If only we could afford this. If only we could buy that.

But if we buy it we are only going to want something else. We realize that, right? It doesn’t solve the “want it right now” problem–we just find a different thing to want. I have first-hand experience with this, so you can trust that I know what I am talking about.

So what are some ways to help curb our appetite for “stuff”?

1)  Go shopping as little as possible. You really don’t even know what you are missing if you don’t pay too close attention. It isn’t until I walk through a store that I realize what I can’t (or shouldn’t) buy.  It isn’t until I walk through the store that I even care.

2) Realize that we don’t need the next best thing. Technology is the place where we really struggle with this insatiable desire. And Apple and Microsoft play off of this, don’t they?  We buy the latest and greatest and within a few short months it is outdated and old. I found this true with my iPad 1.  I was so excited to get an iPad.  And I do use it quite a bit for both business and personal use. But shortly after I bought it, iPad 2 came out. Oh well, I don’t really need a camera on my iPad. Then iPad 3 came out. Wow, they keep talking about the incredible retina display. Perhaps it is time to upgrade? But after a few minutes of thought, I realized I don’t need an iPad 3. It was that unhealthy desire creeping in. In the world we find ourselves in, a cool new thing is introduced every few months. Oh, how we need to learn to be content with what we have.

3) Stop making our stuff such a priority.  Have you ever seen someone get angry if they find a tiny scratch in their car? Or perhaps really get upset if someone accidentally breaks their latest gadget? We tend to put too much importance on our stuff. It becomes more important to us than  it should. This is a tough one. Sometimes we value our stuff more than we value people. We often have our priorities all turned around.  We need to get them back to the way they should be.

4) Use our material blessings for the glory of God. We need to remember that, as believers, all we own isn’t ours, anyway. If we have been blessed with a spacious home, then let’s use it for Christian hospitality. If we have some extra money in our budget, let’s give it away instead of buying something for ourselves. Let’s remember that everything we have has been given to us by God to use for His glory. We are to be good stewards of any material possessions that have been graciously provided to us. Sometimes we forget this important fact.

5) Keep our eyes off of others’ stuff. This is true in more ways than one. First, we need to keep our eyes off of others so we don’t covet what they have. If we see that so-and-so has a brand new car, we tend to grow discontent that we can’t have one, too. But we also need to keep our eyes off of others so that we don’t judge them when it comes to material possessions. We need to remember that what someone has or owns is between them and the Lord. We don’t know that person’s heart or their salary. We should never judge anyone for what they do or do not have. Let’s worry about our own lives and hearts and what God is calling us to do and keep our eyes off of others.

The declaration of “Enough” day actually came from a sermon by David Jeremiah that I was listening to the other day. It hit home for me. I truly do need to learn to be content with what I have. Because it is only through contentment that we can experience the true joy and peace that should come along with being a Christian.

Philippians 4:11-12 Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.

Our View of God, Our View of Man, and Why It Matters

Leave a Comment / October 2, 2016

Following is an abbreviated version of the talk I prepared for a Mom’s group this morning.  I thank them for having me and, as this is the second request to speak on this particular topic in a matter of months, I thought some of you might be interested in it, as well.

Holiness.  What is it?  And why does it matter?  Why has this word almost disappeared from mainstream Christianity?

I think it is in great part because we do not have a biblical definition of Who God is.  We like to read about a “god” who meets our every need, who helps us find our purpose, and who grants our wishes. We aren’t so thrilled about a God who requires us to live holy and pure lives. We fill our minds with books that tell us who we want God to be, instead of the biblical description of God. God is holy, all-knowing, supreme, and loving. He hates sin and cannot tolerate it in any form.  We need to get to know the God of the Bible in order to properly understand holiness. God doesn’t exist to give me purpose and He doesn’t exist to fulfill my every need. His wrath is mentioned in scripture more times than His love. We can’t fully understand holiness if we are trying to define God in a way that pleases our emotions.

I also believe that an unbiblical understanding of who we are as human beings is to blame. I heard a song on Christian radio a few months ago that says “Jesus help me understand that I was worth dying for.”  I turned it off immediately. That isn’t biblical at all. The Bible tells us we WEREN’T worth dying for. That is the amazing beauty of salvation. It is God’s free gift to us, even though we were without any merit whatsoever. Over and over, outside the church and inside the church, we hear the common theme of how beautiful we are to Jesus. But this is not a biblical theme. Only through Jesus do we become pure and white and beautiful.  Only through Him do we have any merit.

If we have a LOW view of God and a HIGH view of ourselves, it leads us to have a very LOW view of sin.  We start believing that sin isn’t important.  That God understands and will forgive.  We don’t care about pleasing Him…we are more concerned with receiving blessings from the big “genie” in the sky. We become wrapped up in our own selfish desires, rights, and concerns and expect God to meet us there…instead of bending ourselves to His will and purposes. Holiness isn’t about a list of do’s and don’ts (what many like to call “legalism”), but it is instead a desire to show our love and gratitude to the God who has made a way for me, a sinner, to be reconciled with Him through the amazing sacrifice of His Son.

And this idea should affect all areas of our lives. I like to use the word “peas” to help me remember some of these areas (I really wanted to think of a meaningful word–but, alas, “peas” is the only thing my mind could come up with!)

1. Presentation–how do we present ourselves?  What kind of language do we use?  Are we modest in our dress?  Do we complain all of the time?  What do our priorities show about what we view as important? Can people tell we love the Lord by how we present ourselves?

2.  Entertainment–what do we watch?  What do we listen to?  What do we read?  If we couldn’t invite Jesus to join us…if our choices are full of the things God hates…then we can be sure we shouldn’t be watching, listening to, or reading it.  I fail to understand the rationalization that goes on in this area on a consistent basis by believers. If God hates it, we shouldn’t want any part of it — in real life OR on a page, a screen, or our car radio.

3.  Attitude–Who are we at home?  Are we kind, loving, and patient, or do we only put that face on when we are at church or work?  How would our families describe us? Do we think of others and their needs? Do we have an attitude of graciousness and kindness or do others view us as selfish, unpleasant, or angry?

4.  Stewardship–How do we spend our money?  Do we live in constant debt? How do we treat the bodies we have been blessed with? Do we overeat or eat to comfort ourselves?  How about the hours of each day?  Do we waste hours on activities that have no eternal value whatsoever?

Each of us probably struggles in one area more than another, but we all struggle.  I, personally, REALLY struggle with some of the things I have just mentioned.  But all four of the things listed above aren’t options but should be an outpouring of the love we feel for our God.

You see, holiness is about pleasing the Lord with every area of our life.  Eric Ludy puts it this way: ” Anything that turns the mind to self instead of the heavenly is opposite of Jesus; if it will not serve the purposes of Jesus Christ it has no allowance to be there.”

You know in your heart today where you struggle.  You know what part of your life you are struggling to live in purity and holiness.  We are all different.  But we are all the same in this:  We battle against our flesh and selfish desires.

But let us remember this:

 “God is only truly known in the soul as we yield ourselves to Him, submit to His authority, and regulate all the details of our lives by His holy precepts and commandments.”  A.W. Pink

 May we never give up our quest to please our heavenly Father with our life and our choices.  May we keep Him and knowing Him as our priority. May we turn away from our rebellious hearts.  And may we be wise and discerning in what we allow in our minds and our lives.  And may we never forget that the Lord will be with us all of the way, to strengthen and guide us.  He is faithful forever.  What a great God we serve!

 

Resources:

The Attributes of God by A.W. Pink (book) I wish every Christian would read this book.  It has been invaluable in helping me understand who God is.

The Power of a Holy Life by John MacArthur (article) Excellent article on how Holy Living affects the world around us.

No More Games: Living and Breathing the Holiness of God by James MacDonald (sermon series) I haven’t heard this whole series but what I have heard is excellent!

The Impossible Task

2 Comments / April 16, 2012

Saturday dawned bright and beautiful.  It was the perfect temperature to work outside and I took it upon myself to clean up my back patio.  Unfortunately, you can’t help but notice the gas grill if you are out there.  I am not one to clean my gas grill every year, so I knew it was in desperate need of attention.  I was also pretty sure that it wouldn’t be a high priority for my husband anytime soon.  So I went inside and googled “How to clean a gas grill” (yes, I realize that shows just how infrequently I have cleaned my grill!)  I found some good information and, armed with instructions encased in a sheet protector, went outside to get started.   I put the grates in a big tub of soapy water and then started scrubbing the main grill.  And rubbing.  And scrubbing.  Maybe a vacuum would work better.  I pulled out my little handheld vacuum to suck up the debris on the bottom.  Some of it came up and some of it was so glued to the bottom from greasy residue it didn’t want to budge.  I stood and stared at the dumb thing.  What to try?  I got a magic eraser.  Aahh…now that was working…a little.  But, oh, the effort that took just to show a tiny glimmer of the old silver shine.  I worked at that for about a half hour and then decided that it was foolish to clean it perfectly, as it would end up back the way it was after a few weeks of grilling, anyway.  I instead turned my attention to the grates soaking in the tub.  I had less success with these than I had had with the grill!  I could hardly rub even a small area to a silver gleam.

As I scrubbed, I couldn’t help but think of the parallel to the Christian life.  I could try to make myself as clean as possible, so as to stand pure and righteous before God, but I could never “scrub” my life enough to make myself completely white.  There would always be sticky, greasy, stains and large blotches of black, no matter how much effort I put forth.  It gave me good insight into why Jesus had to die for my sins in order for me to be saved.  His sacrifice enables me to stand white and pure before God, because He took my punishment.  I had never thought of it like that before.  Praise filled my heart.

And then my thoughts turned towards living life.  So, if Jesus makes me white, why bother cleaning up my life at all?  Kind of like the grill, my best efforts to clean up my life don’t really amount to much.  I might get a corner cleaned up over here or a small piece of the grate shining brightly over there…but I will never be able to come even close to perfection.  Again the question–why bother?

Of course, we are to live godly lives because we love the Lord (I John 2) but could there be another reason?  As I contemplated this, I realized that cleaning my grill makes it work better.  It is more efficient and burns cleaner.  It grills the food better and it looks nicer.  Sure, I can’t get it perfect, but my efforts are still not without their rewards.  Our lives are like that, too.  Sure, we won’t ever make ourselves perfect.  But following God’s commandments will lead to rewards in our lives here on earth.  And just like my dirty grill said something about me (laziness or too busy, perhaps?); so our lives, if we claim to be a Christian, say something about God. What does our life say about the Holy God we claim to serve?  Isn’t He and His reputation worth giving ourselves a good “scrubbing” for?

And, unlike my solo task of scrubbing that grill, we have help with cleaning up our lives.  God sent the Holy Spirit as our Helper (John 14:15-17).  Isn’t that an encouraging thought?  We do not have to work at this alone.

As I finished cleaning the grill, I can’t say I was filled with a great sense of accomplishment.  But, surprisingly, when I pulled everything back together, it did look a lot cleaner than it was before.  My efforts did show.  Life is often the same way–while we are in the midst of change we can get discouraged and lost.  But if we keep working at it, we will come out on the other side saying- Yes, I can see a difference.  It’s not perfect, but it’s a lot better!

Isn’t it amazing what  you can learn while cleaning your grill?

Using Words Wisely

Leave a Comment / April 12, 2012

Before I start today, I just want you to know that I have my husband’s permission to tell this story.  He learned a good lesson through this incident several years ago. I feel so blessed to be married to someone who admits his mistakes and chooses to grow from them.  Now on to the story–

“What does he want now?  He always has a problem, doesn’t he?  He is such a pain!” These words, or at least words like these, spilled out of my husband’s mouth as he spewed much of the frustration he had felt towards a troublesome customer for some years.  His employee was at the complaining customer’s property and had called with a question.  Unfortunately for my husband, the employee on the other end of the call was using his Nextel and had put it on speaker phone.  He had called with the customer right beside him and said customer had just heard my husband’s entire deluge of words directed at him.

What to do?  Our employee handled it as best he could.  He left my husband know immediately and in a nonchalant way that the man was right beside him and listening.  The conversation became stilted and was finished quickly.  My husband’s heart sank.  What kind of mess had he gotten himself into now?   He tries to treat all customers courteously and kindly, but every now and again, one stretches him to his limits.

After the mortifying realization of what had occurred, he made the decision to go and apologize to this man.  And, quite honestly, he was very well received.  After the apology and some open discussion, our relationship with this customer improved considerably and he is still our customer to this day.

As we laugh about it now, we also realize that there are some important lessons to be learned from the unfortunate incident.

1.         There will be people who frustrate us in life.  It is important that we apply scriptural principles in our dealings with them.  In Luke 6:31, Jesus says: And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise.  If we apply this principle with the irritating people in our lives, it should change our responses.

2.         It is important to choose our words carefully, even when we are frustrated or irritated.  Too often we spout off words we don’t even mean in the heat of the moment.  Whether they are about someone or directly to that person, we need to use self-control when we express our frustration.

3.         Don’t be too proud to apologize.  The last thing my husband wanted to do was to go to this customer and apologize.  First, he doesn’t know him that well personally and second, it was just downright embarrassing.  So many times we are afraid to face the person we have offended or hurt, so we just pretend it will go away.  But it doesn’t!  That pain and hurt, even if forgiven, often lingers on in the heart of the person we hurt.  It is important that we offer our sincere apology immediately.   In the case of this customer, it was the best thing my husband could have done.  And, from my own experience (with my many mistakes in life!), it does get easier the more you do it.  If you are out of practice of apologizing, the first time will be agonizing.  You will stumble over your words and hesitate and feel foolish.  But try it!  I think you will find it so beneficial to your relationships, and at the very least, you will know that you have done the right thing.

4.         It is important to choose our words carefully always, but especially when we are in a public setting–on the phone, in the bleachers or on the sidelines, in a church hallway, or at a family gathering.  Ephesians 4:29 says: Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.  Does my speech impart grace to the hearers?  What a great test for our language.

Life is full of unpleasant, uncomfortable, and awkward circumstances.  It is important that we don’t miss the life lessons hidden in those moments.  The story above was just one such moment and even now, years later, we still think on the lessons we learned from that unpleasant incident.

Are You Sure About That?

3 Comments / May 17, 2016

The headlines read “26 Years Later, Haven’t Lost Anyone”. The article went on to give the lawn company’s philosophy and why they never – yes, it said NEVER – have lost a customer. Having owned a lawn company for 25 years, my husband first recognized the impossibility of this statement. And then he started laughing as he realized that he was actually bidding some work for one of their unhappy customers. The credibility of that company and of the newspaper that ran the article was thrown into question after reading what we knew, firsthand, to be an outright lie.

Around this same time, our daughter was in a car accident with another driver, a young girl. There were not any witnesses of the incident and the young girl proceeded to lie about what had occurred. Our auto insurance is headed to battle over it, as the dents in the cars tell the true story and they believe they will be able to prove it was not our daughter’s fault.

We also had two incidents with buying mowers recently. In one, a verbal agreement was made and we were on our way to pick it up (a drive of several hours) when we were called and told that he had sold the mower to someone who had offered to pay him more. In the other case, we traveled to Philadelphia to pick one up, being told it was in mint condition, only to hear a tap in the motor.

So, what do all of these stories have in common? Integrity.

No longer do people feel it necessary to be truthful in advertising…to keep their word…to be honest in their interactions with others.  Instead they do whatever is to their own advantage, with no concern for the truth.

The lack of concern about the truth in this culture is truly frightening. But the lie that there are no moral absolutes has seeped its way into the culture so thoroughly, that now we are reaping the consequences. And they will be heavy consequences. You could see it happening twenty years ago. I remember a song in the 80s talking about this change in teaching absolute truth to our public school students. You could see it happening when TV sitcoms would (and still do) glorify and make light of someone telling a lie to get something they wanted. You could also see it coming, when parents started to set examples of lying on their taxes and being dishonest about sick days and why they couldn’t come to the phone. Another big red flag was when a person’s “happiness” became the ultimate goal for life.  You see, these things set the stage for a generation that has no respect for the truth, unless it is to their advantage.

So, as a Christian (and, hopefully, as one who practices telling the truth), what are we to do? Well, first and foremost, of course, is that we stand out in this culture by being honorable and trustworthy. We should tell the truth, no matter what the outcome (Proverbs 14:5). We also need to be unwavering and to set a godly example as we teach our children the importance of honesty and integrity.

Another important thing we need to do in this day and age is to listen to everything with the proverbial grain of salt .  Whether it is in the newspaper, on the TV news or on a reality show, or even hearing a story about someone else’s tragic circumstances from a friend, we shouldn’t be so quick to believe what we hear.  So many are the agendas and slants given to stories, that we need to be really careful in what we believe.

As I write on this topic, I find myself filled with sadness at the state of this culture. I could see it coming and now I realize that we are here.  I also know the inevitable outcome of a country that holds no respect for the truth. But, alas, here we are. And so it is our duty and responsibility to live the Christian life with integrity in a culture that holds no esteem for the truth.

 

 

Righteous Anger

8 Comments / March 29, 2012

I found myself really angry the other day. My daughter, Susan (names have been changed to protect the innocent), had said something very hurtful to me. We were sitting as a family at the dinner table eating and talking, when out popped this comment from Susan’s mouth. I felt myself grow hot with anger. My pride was hurt and I grew cold and quiet. I escaped to my office and spent the rest of the night working, as far from Susan as I could get. The following morning I did not treat Susan very kindly. She finally asked me about why I wasn’t being very nice. And, I am ashamed to say, that all of that coldness and those hurt feelings came welling up in me and I started explaining to her in a very loud and not-so-nice voice why her comment had been hurtful, unkind, and downright wrong. And then I walked out and I may have even slammed the door.

I was immediately totally and completely ashamed of myself. My whole reaction from the time the comment was made to the moment I spoke unkindly was sinful. What had I just done? And why was I so angry? I was angry because of a derogatory comment directed towards me. My sinful self shines so brightly in situations like this. And I am mortified at how quickly it shows itself. And so, within five minutes, I was apologizing, and a few minutes later we had a good long talk as to why that comment was made in the first place (which was actually frustration about a totally different situation).

So what does it matter? Why do I feel this is worth a blog post? In a conversation with a woman the other day she was telling me about her husband’s anger and how he will use the excuse that Jesus got angry. Many of us do that. Well, Jesus got angry, so I am allowed to get angry. We don’t view anger as the sin it is.

But, let’s stop and think for just a moment about that incident in the temple (Mark 11). Jesus went into the temple and drove out the moneychangers. Why was He angry that they were there? He was angry because they were offending God the Father. They were turning worship into a business.

And then let’s turn back to the last time we got angry. Was it because someone used God’s name in vain? Or because they are murdering babies in the womb every day? Or perhaps because they have glorified sin and have offended my Savior? In my case, it was because someone offended my pride. Other times it is because I don’t get my own way. Or perhaps someone did something hurtful to my child and I get angry about that.

Truly righteous anger is when we are offended because someone is offending our God. Any other anger is sinful. That is hard to swallow if we are someone who grows angry rather quickly. Some of us are so prone to outbursts of anger that we don’t even give it a thought anymore. It is just part of who we are and we don’t even feel conviction about it. We tell our spouses and children that it is just who we are and we can’t change it (which is just a lie and an excuse, of course).

And some of us rarely get angry. Our personalities are just pretty laid back and we don’t get riled about much of anything. If you are like this, you are probably wondering why I would even write on this topic.

And some of you are like me – very convicted about how angry and offended we get and realizing that this is not an attitude that pleases God. And so we continue the cycle of growing angry and then apologizing. And while I don’t expect perfection on this side of heaven, I have seen many people grow and mature in this area of anger. Even in my own life I have noticed that these angry moments have grown fewer and farther between. We can have victory in Christ! We don’t have to let our anger rule over us…but instead must choose to rule over it.

As I look out my window this morning, I see a beautiful sun-drenched sky. I see the beginning of a new day. Let’s take our focus off of ourselves for this one day. Let’s turn away from our offended and angry thoughts and stop and think for just a second about why we are so angry instead of letting our emotions take over. Let’s say YES to the Spirit and NO to the flesh. (Galatians 5: 16-25).

My Heart, Christ’s Home

Leave a Comment / March 15, 2012

Below is an old story that has brought delight and conviction to others for many years.  When I read it the first time, my heart was smitten.  I realized how much of my life I was withholding from the Lord.  We truly are to surrender all.  I believe this little story is a good reminder for all of us.

My Heart, Christ’s Home

by Robert Boyd Munger

One evening I invited Jesus Christ into my heart. What an entrance He made! It was not a spectacular, emotional thing, but very real. It was at the very center of my life. He came into the darkness of my heart and turned on the light. He built a fire in the cold hearth and banished the chill. He started music where there had been stillness, and He filled the emptiness with His own loving, wonderful fellowship. I have never regretted opening the door to Christ and I never will – not into eternity!

This, of course, is the first step in making the heart Christ’s home. He has said, “Behold I stand at the door and knock: if any man hear my voice and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.” (Revelation 3:20). If you are interested in making your life an abode of the living God, let me encourage you to invite Christ into your heart and He will surely come.

After Christ entered my heart and in the joy of this new relationship I said to Him, “Lord, I want this heart of mine to be Yours. I want to have You settle down here and be perfectly at home. Everything I have belongs to You. Let me show You around and introduce you to the various features of the home that you may be more comfortable and that we may have fuller fellowship together.” He was very glad to come, of course, and happier still to be given a place in the heart.

The Library

The first room was the study – the library. Let us call it the study of the mind. Now in my home this room of the mind is a very small room with very thick walls. But it is an important room. In a sense, it is the control room of the house. He entered with me and looked around at the books in the bookcase, the magazines upon the table, the pictures on the walls. As I followed His gaze I became uncomfortable. Strangely enough, I had not felt badly about this before, but now that He was there looking at these things I was embarrassed. There were some books were there that His eyes were too pure to behold. There was a lot of trash and literature on the table that a Christian had no business reading, and as for the pictures on the walls – the imaginations and thoughts of the mind –  these were shameful.

I turned to Him and said, “Master, I know that this room needs a radical alteration. Will You help me make it what it ought to be? – to bring every thought into captivity to you?”

“Surely!” He said. “Gladly will I help you. First of all, take all the things that you are reading and looking at which are not helpful, pure, good and true, and throw them out! Now put on the empty shelves the books of the Bible. Fill the library with Scriptures and meditate on them day and night. As for the pictures on the walls, you will have difficulty controlling these images, but here is an aid”  He gave me a full-size portrait of Himself. “Hang this centrally,” He said, “on the wall of the mind.” I did, and I have discovered through the years that when my thoughts are centered upon Christ Himself, His purity and power cause impure thoughts to back away. So He has helped me to bring my thoughts into captivity.

May I suggest to you if you have difficulty with this little room of the mind, that you bring Christ in there. Pack it full with the Word of God, meditate upon it and keep before it the immediate presence of the Lord Jesus.

The Dining Room

From the study we went into the dining room, the room of appetites and desires. Now this was a very large room. I spent a good deal of time in the dining room and much effort in satisfying my wants.  I said to Him, “This is a favorite room. I am quite sure You will be pleased with what we serve.”

He seated Himself at the table with me and asked, “What is on the menu for dinner?”  “Well,” I said, “my favorite dishes: money, academic degrees, and stocks, with newspaper articles of fame and fortune as side dishes.” These were the things I liked – worldly fare. I suppose there was nothing radically wrong in any particular item, but it was not the food that should satisfy the life of a real Christian.

When the food was placed before Him, He said nothing about it. However, I observed that He did not eat it, and I said to Him, somewhat disturbed, “Master, don’t You care for this food? What is the trouble?”

He answered, “I have meat to eat that you do not know of. My meat is to do the will of Him that sent Me.” He looked at me again and said, “If you want food that really satisfies you, seek the will of the Father, not your own pleasures, not your own desires, and not your own satisfaction. Seek to please Me and that food will satisfy you.”

And there at the table He gave me a taste of doing God’s will. What a flavor! There is no food like it in all the world. It alone satisfies. Everything else is dissatisfying in the end.

Now if Christ is in your heart, and I trust He is, what kind of food are you serving Him and what kind of food are you eating yourself? Are you living for the lust of the flesh and the pride of life – selfishly? Or are you choosing God’s will for your meat and drink?

The Living Room

We walked next into the living room. This room was rather intimate and comfortable. I liked it. It had a fireplace, overstuffed chairs, a sofa, and a quiet atmosphere. He also seemed pleased with it. He said, “This is indeed a delightful room. Let us come here often. It is secluded and quiet, and we can fellowship together.”

Well, naturally as a young Christian I was thrilled. I couldn’t think of anything I would rather do than have a few minutes with Christ in intimate companionship. He promised, “I will be here early every morning. Meet me here, and we will start the day together.” So morning after morning, I would come downstairs to the living room and He would take a book of the Bible from the bookcase. He would open it and then we would read together. He would tell me of its riches and unfold to me its truths. He would make my heart warm as He revealed His love and His grace He had toward me. These were wonderful hours together. In fact, we called the living room the “withdrawing room.” It was a period when we had our quiet time together.

But, little by little, under the pressure of many responsibilities, this time began to be shortened. Why, I’m don’t know, but I thought I was just too busy to spend time with Christ. This was not intentional, you understand; it just happened that way. Finally, not only was the time shortened, but I began to miss a day now and then. It was examination time at the university. Then it was some other urgent emergency. I would miss it two days in a row and often more.

I remember one morning when I was in a hurry, rushing downstairs, eager to be on my way.  As I passed the living room,  the door was open. Looking in, I saw a fire in the fireplace and Jesus was sitting there. Suddenly in dismay I thought to myself, “He was my guest. I invited Him into my heart! He has come as Lord of my home. And yet here I am neglecting Him.”

I turned and went in. With downcast glance, I said, “Blessed Master, forgive me. Have You been here all these mornings?” “Yes,” He said, “I told you I would be here every morning to meet with you.” Then I was even more ashamed. He had been faithful in spite of my faithfulness. I asked His forgiveness and He readily forgave me as He does when we are truly repentant.

“The trouble with you is this: you have been thinking of the quiet time, of the Bible study and prayer time, as a factor in your own spiritual progress, but you have forgotten that this hour means something to me also. Remember, I love you. I have redeemed you at great cost. I value your fellowship. Now,” He said, “do not neglect this hour if only for my sake. Whatever else may be your desire, remember I want your fellowship!”

You know, the truth that Christ desires my companionship, that He loves me, wants me to be with Him, wants to be with me and waits for me, has done more to transform my quiet time with God than any other single fact. Don’t let Christ wait alone in the living room of your heart, but every day find some time when, with your Bible and in prayer, you may be together with Him.

The Workroom

Before long, He asked, “Do you have a workroom in your home?” Down in the basement of the home of my heart I had a workbench and some equipment, but I was not doing much with it. Once in a while I would play around with a few little gadgets, but I wasn’t producing anything substantial or worthwhile.

I led Him down there.  He looked over the workbench and what little talents and skills I had. He said, “This is quite well furnished. What are you producing with your life for the Kingdom of God?” He looked at one or two little toys that I had thrown together on the bench and held one up to me. “Are these little toys all that you are doing for others in your Christian life?”

“Well,” I said, “Lord, that is the best I can do. I know it isn’t much, and I really want to do more, but after all, I have no skill or strength to do more.” “Would you like to do better?” He asked.

“Certainly,” I replied. “All right. Let me have your hands. Now relax in me and let my Spirit work through you. I know that you are unskilled, clumsy and awkward, but the Holy Spirit is the Master-Worker, and if He controls your hands and your heart, He will work through you.” And so, stepping around behind me and putting His great, strong hands over mine, controlling the tools with His skilled fingers He began to work through me.

There’s much more that I must still learn and I am very far from satisfied with the product that is being turned out, but I do know that whatever has been produced for God has been through His strong hand and through the power of His Spirit in me.

Do not become discouraged because you cannot do much for God. Your ability is not the fundamental condition. It is He who is controlling your fingers and upon whom you are relying. Give your talents and gifts to God and He will do things with them that will surprise you..

The Rec Room

I remember the time He asked me about the playroom. I was hoping He would not ask about that. There were certain associations and friendships, activities and amusements that I wanted to keep for myself. I did not think Christ would enjoy them or approve of them, so I evaded the question.

But there came an evening when I was on my way out with some of my friends, and as I was about to cross the threshold, He stopped me with a glance and asked, “Are you going out?” I replied, “Yes.” “Good,” He said, “I would like to go with you.”

“Oh,” I answered rather awkwardly. “I don’t think, Lord Jesus, that You would really want to go with us. Let’s go out tomorrow night. Tomorrow night we will go to prayer meeting, but tonight I have another appointment.”

He said. “That’s alright. Only I thought that when I came into your home, we were going to do everything together, to be close companions. I just want you to know that I am willing to go with you.” “Well,” I said, “we will go someplace together tomorrow night.”

That evening I spent some miserable hours. I felt wretched. What kind of a friend was I to Jesus when I was deliberately leaving Him out of my associations, doing things and going places that I knew very well He would not enjoy? When I returned that evening, there was a light in His room, and I went up to talk it over with Him. I said, “Lord, I have learned my lesson. I can’t have a good time without You. From now on we will do everything together.”

Then we went down into the playroom of the house and He transformed it. He brought into life real joy, real happiness, real satisfaction, new friends, new excitement, new joys. Laughter and music have been ringing through the house ever since.

The Hall Closet

There is just one more matter that I might share with you. One day I found Him waiting for me at the door. An arresting look was in His eye. As I entered, He said to me, “There is a peculiar odor in the house. There is something dead around here. It’s upstairs. I think it is in the hall closet.” As soon as He said this, I knew what He was talking about. Yes, there was a small closet up there on the landing, just a few feet square, and in that closet, behind lock and key, I had one or two little personal things that I did not want anyone to know about and certainly I did not want Christ to see them. I knew they were dead and rotting things left over from the old life. And yet I loved them, and I wanted them so for myself that I was afraid to admit they were there.

Reluctantly, I went up with Him, and as we mounted the stairs the odor became stronger and stronger. He pointed at the door. “It’s in there! Some dead thing!” I was angry. That’s the only way I can put it. I had given Him access to the library, the dining room, the living room, the workroom, the playroom, and now He was asking me about a little two-by-four closet. I said to myself, “This is too much. I am not going to give Him the key.”

“Well,” He said, reading my thoughts, “if you think I’m going to stay up here on the second floor with this odor, you are mistaken. I will take my bed out on the back porch. I’m certainly not going to put up with that.” Then I saw Him start down the stairs.

When you have come to know and love Christ, the worst thing that can happen is to sense His fellowship retreating from you. I had to surrender. “I’ll give You the key,” I said sadly, “but You’ll have to open the closet and clean it out. I haven’t the strength to do it.” “I know,” He said. “I know you haven’t. Just give me the key. Just authorize me to take care of that closet and I will.” So with trembling fingers I passed the key to Him. He took it from my hand, walked over to the door, opened it, entered it, took out all the putrefying stuff that was rotting there, and threw it away. Then He cleaned the closet and painted it, fixed it up, doing it all in a moment’s time. Oh, what victory and release to have that dead thing out of my life!

Transferring the Title

Then a thought came to me. I said to myself, “I have been trying to keep this heart of mine clear for Christ. I start on one room and no sooner have I cleaned that then another room is dirty. I begin on the second room and the first room becomes dusty again. I am so tired and weary trying to maintain a clean heart and an obedient life. I am just not up to it!”

So I ventured a question: “Lord, is there any chance that You would take over the responsibility of the whole house and operate it for me and with me just as You did that closet? Would You take the responsibility to keep my heart what it ought to be and my life where it ought to be?”

I could see His face light up as He replied, “Certainly, that is what I came to do. You cannot be a victorious Christian in your own strength. That is impossible. Let me do it through you and for you. That is the way. But,” He added slowly, “I am not owner of this house. I am just a guest. I have no authority to proceed, since the property is not mine.” I saw it in a minute and dropping to my knees, I said, “Lord, You have been a guest and I have been the host. From now on I am going to be the servant. You are going to be the owner and Master and Lord.”

Running as fast as I could to the strongbox, I took out the title deed to the house describing its assets and liabilities, location and situation and condition. I eagerly signed it over to belong to Him alone for time and eternity. “Here,” I said. “Here it is, all that I am and have forever. Now You run the house. I’ll just remain with You as a servant and friend.”

He took my life that day and I can give you my word, there is no better way to live the Christian life. He knows how to keep it in shape and deep peace settles down on the soul. May Christ settle down and be at home in your heart as Lord of all!

Sympathy isn’t a Substitution for Service

2 Comments / March 1, 2012

This quote caught my eye yesterday.  Sympathy isn’t a substitution for service.  All around us, every single day, we hear of horrifying circumstances in which people find themselves.  Oftentimes, they occur in other countries  but on occasion, they happen to our neighbors.  Sometimes, there is literally nothing we can do but pray, and other times we know the person well, but just don’t know what to do.  And so we do nothing but feel sympathy for the situation.  And then we forget and our thoughts turn back to our own little worlds.  But wait!  Is this what God has called us to?  Is this how we are to respond to those who are suffering through trials and tragedies around us?

I know when I read that quote, I immediately was ashamed.  Natural catastrophes have horrified me.  I have been brought to tears over the heartbreak others are enduring because of illness, death, and accidents.  And, yet, in reading that quote, I realized that was not enough.  Feeling sad for someone accomplishes absolutely nothing.

Most of us do not have the funds or the connections to hop on a plane and help with disaster relief in a foreign country.  But there are some ways we can serve others in need– right here and right now:

14 Practical Ways to Serve Others

1.  Tell someone who is going through a trial that you will pray for them and then remember to actually do it!

2.  Sponsor a child in a foreign country.

3.  Prepare a meal or buy a gift card from a restaurant for a struggling mom.

4.  Offer to run an errand or drive to an appointment for someone without transportation.

5.  Take a homemade goodie or flowers to someone who is facing a rough time.

6.  Use Social Media (Facebook, Twitter, etc.) to let someone know you have been thinking of them.

7.  Ask someone about their trial (instead of ignoring it) and truly listen to them if they want to talk.

8.  Write an encouraging hand-written note and send it the old-fashioned way.

9.  Support, E-mail, or otherwise encourage a Missionary.

10. Find a lonely, elderly person who doesn’t have family and visit them regularly.

11. Offer to babysit the children of a young couple who are struggling financially and do not have family living close by to help out.

12. Learn the specific places (towns and villages) and perhaps even some names of people where horrendous tragedy has struck, so we can pray intelligently for the situations for which we truly cannot offer any physical help.

13.  Recruit the whole family to collect money sacrificially and then give the funds to a trustworthy organization who is doing some real good in places we don’t have access to.

14.  Use the internet to find out practical ways you can help, such as collecting clothing, blankets, or shoes.

This is just a short list of possible ways to serve.  I would love to hear your ideas!  I hope this encourages all of us to think outside of our own little world today.  Just imagine what would happen if each one of us did just a couple of things on this list.  Together we could, as the true church of Jesus Christ, make a real difference.

Matthew 25: 37-40 “Then the righteous will answer Him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You drink? 38 When did we see You a stranger and take You in, or naked and clotheYou? 39 Or when did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ 40 And the King will answer and say to them, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.’

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