Struggles

The lemon that never grew up

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I have this Meyer lemon tree that is actually still living and it’s been almost a year. I am not known for my indoor green thumb (it only works outdoors) and so no one is more surprised than me that the tree is still alive.

But here is the strange part: do you see that lemon hanging off the tree that looks a lot like a lime? That thing has been hanging there since last fall. The plant blossomed profusely but only one baby lemon started growing. It kept growing and growing and then one day it just stopped. And it has looked like this –like a lime–for the last six months at least.

I know I have to cut it off. I am sure it is taking valuable nutrients from the plant. But I just hate to do it.

I wonder if there are a bunch of us Christians walking around half-ripe? We never mature. We just hang on to the vine, taking valuable nutrients and energy from the other lemons.

Of course, not growing up is a popular thing to do in this country.  Just watch any sitcom on TV where you will find men portrayed as video-game-playing, crude, joke-cracking boys stuck in their teens. They need their wives to guide and direct them to be responsible. What a bunch of nonsense!

Women, on the other hand, are the focus of the commercials where we are conditioned to believe that growing up — growing mature — is bad. Looking young is the ultimate goal.  Products line the shelves that help keep the wrinkles at bay and the gray hair covered.

And, maybe unknowingly, this has transferred to the Church, where so many of us have no interest in growing up.

Paul compares immature Christians to babies who are still on milk (Hebrews 5:12-14). These Christians should be eating meat, but they are still drinking only milk.  Instead of being the teacher, they still need to be taught.

If we choose to remain half-ripe or immature, a few consequences take place that are worth some consideration:

1) We are never able to glorify God in the way that we should.

2) We set a terrible example for our children.

3) We rob the Church of precious energy that should be poured into new babes in Christ.

So how do we grow up? I really only know of one way: Read and study the Word of God. While this is a simple thing to do, there are some principles to follow in our study.

1) Read it in context, not pulling verses out from everywhere to fit our own personal situation.

2) Find a good, traditional commentary or Bible Study guide to help (I highly recommend the resources at Grace to You).

3) Listen to solid, biblical preachers, not only in church, but also on podcast or mp3.  (Both Grace to You and Truth for Life are filled with mp3s available to listeners at no charge. They are invaluable resources for helping me understand difficult passages. )

4) We need to have the proper heart attitude. We need to approach our study with humility and a willingness to change. If we approach God’s Word with pride and arrogance, we will not grow.  If we approach God’s Word with a selfish heart, we will not grow.

5) We can’t expect to fill our hearts and minds with everything God hates for 12 hours a day (music, books, tv, movies, talk radio) and then expect to grow because we read the Bible for 30 minutes. Discernment is critical.

I wish I could shout to the whole Christian world the importance of studying God’s Word. So many of us don’t do it. Some of us know we should but we just don’t make time. Some of us don’t even try–after all, we have our fire insurance. And some of us languish in the world of half-page devotionals with one verse, never venturing into the true study of God’s Word. Don’t get me wrong–there is nothing wrong with devotionals. They just should never replace actual study of God’s Word.

And, so, the choice to grow past the half-ripe stage is up to us. Are we going to hang onto the branch, never ripening, like that lemon of mine or are we going to take ownership of our spiritual health and grow up?

A.W. Tozer puts it better than I ever could: “Why do some persons “find” God in a way that others do not? Why does God manifest His presence to some and let multitudes of others struggle along in the half-light of imperfect Christian experience? Of course, the will of God is the same for all. He has no favorites within His household. All He has ever done for any of His children He will do for all of His children. The difference lies not with God but with us.”

 

 

Wednesday Wisdom: This World– Playground or Battleground?

624782_35801667This excerpt from A.W. Tozer needs no introduction. It is profound (as usual) and the truth of it rings in my ears. The frightening and serious ramifications of modern Christianity’s wrong view of the world are becoming more and more evident each day. 

Things are for us not only what they are—they are what we hold them to be. That is to say, our attitude toward things is likely in the long run to be more important than the things themselves. This is a common coin of knowledge, like an old dime worn smooth by use, yet it bears upon it the stamp of truth and must not be rejected simply because it is familiar.

It is strange how a fact may remain fixed, while our interpretation of the fact changes with the generations and the years. One such fact is the world in which we live. It is here and has been here through the centuries. It is a stable fact, quite unchanged by the passage of time, but how different is modern man’s view of it from the view our fathers held! Here we see plainly how great is the power of interpretation. The world is for all of us not only what it is—it is what we believe it to be. And a tremendous load of woe or weal rides on the soundness of our interpretation.

Going back no further than the times of the founding and early development of our country, we are able to see the wide gulf between our modern attitudes and those of our fathers. In the early days, when Christianity exercised a dominant influence over American thinking, men conceived the world to be a battleground. Our fathers believed in sin and the devil and hell as constituting one force, and they believed in God and righteousness and heaven as the other. By their very nature, these forces were opposed to each other forever in deep, grave, irreconcilable hostility. Man, our fathers held, had to choose sides—he could not be neutral. For him it must be life or death, heaven or hell, and if he chose to come out on God’s side, he could expect open war with God’s enemies. The fight would be real and deadly and would last as long as life continued here below. Men looked forward to heaven as a return from the wars, a laying down of the sword to enjoy in peace the home prepared for them.

Sermons and songs in those days often had a martial quality about them, or perhaps a trace of homesickness. The Christian soldier thought of home and rest and reunion, and his voice grew plaintive as he sang of battle ended and victory won. But whether he was charging into enemy guns or dreaming of war’s end and the Father’s welcome home, he never forgot what kind of world he lived in—it was a battleground, and many were wounded and slain.

That view is unquestionably scriptural. Allowing for the figures and metaphors with which the Scriptures abound, it is still a solid Bible doctrine that tremendous spiritual forces are present in the world. Man, because of his spiritual nature, is caught in the middle. The evil powers are bent upon destroying him, while Christ is present to save him through the power of the gospel. To obtain deliverance he must come out on God’s side in faith and obedience. That in brief is what our fathers thought, and that, we believe, is what the Bible teaches.

How different today. The fact remains the same, but the interpretation has changed completely. Men think of the world not as a battleground, but as a playground. We are not here to fight; we are here to frolic. We are not in a foreign land; we are at home. We are not getting ready to live, but we are already living, and the best we can do is rid ourselves of our inhibitions and our frustrations and live this life to the full. This, we believe, is a fair summary of the religious philosophy of modern man, openly professed by millions and tacitly held by many more millions who live out that philosophy without having given it verbal expression.

This changed attitude toward the world has had and is having its effect upon Christians, even gospel Christians who profess the faith of the Bible. By a curious juggling of the figures, they manage to add up the column wrong and yet claim to have the right answer. It sounds fantastic, but it is true.

The idea that this world is a playground instead of a battleground has now been accepted in practice by the vast majority of fundamentalist Christians. They might hedge around the question if they were asked bluntly to declare their position, but their conduct gives them away. They are facing both ways, enjoying Christ and the world, gleefully telling everyone that accepting Jesus does not require them to give up their fun—Christianity is just the jolliest thing imaginable. The “worship” growing out of such a view of life is as far off center as the view itself—a sort of sanctified nightclub without the champagne and the dressed-up drunks.

This whole thing has grown to be so serious that it is now the bound duty of all Christians to reexamine their spiritual philosophy in the light of the Bible. Having discovered the scriptural way, they must follow it, even if to do so, they must separate themselves from much that they had accepted as real, but which now in the light of truth is seen to be false.

A right view of God and the world to come requires that we have a right view of the world in which we live and of our relationship to it. So much depends upon this that we cannot afford to be careless about it.

—Excerpt from This World: Playground or Battleground? by A.W. Tozer

My Compass in Uncharted Territory

954282_65316292 (1)After a busy, busy weekend, I was completely exhausted. I decided to turn on the TV. One of my favorite shows from the 90s was on. It was almost over, but I made myself comfortable and started to watch. I laughed at the family dynamics that are so part of any household.

One of the boys, on the cusp of teenager-hood, had done something really stupid. As the credits rolled, the parents joked about how their moms had wanted them to have kids just like them and now it had happened. It was funny and everyone was laughing.

But then the Dad said, “Seriously, what are we going to do?” He was wondering how they were going to handle this boy as he grew into an adult. The Mom put her arm around Dad and said, “Well, we just be the best parents we can be.”

I was immediately struck by what was missing. There was no God there. No power higher than themselves as they struggled through this journey of raising kids. They were relying on themselves alone.  It made me feel empty….for them.

Oh, I know it was just a television show.  But millions of parents around the world approach parenting this same way. They have no lifeline, no Helper, no power outside themselves.

I guess before seeing that little clip on TV, I had never thought about just how precious prayer is in the raising of our kids.

I mean I mess up–all the time. I am growing every day, but I still have such a long way to go. I can’t imagine approaching raising kids without a Heavenly Father to go to for comfort, for answers, and for grace.

Anything my kids are or will be is because of His grace.

We love our kids and we work so hard to raise them right. But, inevitably, we make mistakes and run into problems outside of our control.

But God is so faithful to answer prayer. Sometimes, it is not on our timetable. Sometimes, it hurts as we go through difficult days and nights of pain watching our kids make mistakes and paying the consequences of those mistakes.  But we never stop praying for them and trusting God for their spiritual growth.

Because there is a Power outside of ourselves. The world will tell you that you are the power. That you can do anything, including raising your kids. You can do it alone and without help.

Well, I am here to tell you – even if that is true (and it’s not) – I wouldn’t want to.

How thankful I am that I don’t have to. I serve a God who cares about the smallest thing. I serve a God whom I can talk to when it looks like my child is moving away from Him. I serve a God who comforts me. I serve a God who is my compass when I am utterly and totally lost. My help comes from the Lord!

Psalm 33:20 Our soul waits for the Lord; He is our help and our shield.

Psalm 60:11 Give us help from trouble, For the help of man is useless.

Psalm 121:1-2 I will lift up my eyes to the hills, from whence comes my help?  My help comes from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth.
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I once was blind, but now I see!

693495_77038354Since my mother was a little girl she has been almost blind. She was quite unable to see or do much of anything without the aid of her eyeglasses. Somewhere during my childhood she got contact lenses and that made it more convenient. But the bottom line was that, unless she had some correction for her eyes, she only saw dark, undefined shapes.

But then a few months ago, she had the opportunity to get Lasik surgery. And I had the privilege of taking her to the appointment for her first eye. My daughter and I went for breakfast together while we waited for the surgeon to work his miracle in about an hour. When we returned we only waited for a few minutes before I was called back to see my mom in recovery.

As I entered the room I saw her sitting there with a clear bubble placed over her eye. She just kept saying, “This is amazing! This is amazing!”

Even with the bubble on, she could see incredibly clearly. She had gone from seeing only a dark, undefined, muddled world to seeing the whole world clearly!

What a great picture of what happens when we get saved. When we repent of our sins and are transformed by His glorious grace–only then are we given “spiritual sight”.

Matthew 13:16-17 puts it this way: “But blessed are your eyes for they see, and your ears for they hear; for assuredly, I say to you that many prophets and righteous men desired to see what you see, and did not see it, and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.

While some things remain a mystery, we are given the gift of spiritual insight when we turn our lives over to Jesus Christ. Sure, it is not always an instant gift. But God gradually opens our eyes to the treasure of His Word and it becomes a bottomless well of wisdom and an incredible help for life.

But our unbelieving friends don’t understand. They mock us and they make decisions that destroy their lives and we just don’t understand why.

But if we stop and think for a moment, we do know why. They see darkly, unclearly. They don’t know what we do. And that means that, instead of harshly judging them, we should pray for them.

They are not living by the same rule book as you and I are. It seems so basic and yet we Christians seem to have a hard time understanding this.

If you got saved as an adult, you probably understand this so much better than me. You truly experienced a transformation. You know exactly what it means to live in blindness and then have your spiritual eyes opened upon your salvation.  While I experienced a transformation as a child, it was much less dramatic.

This is why we should not point fingers of judgment at the world. They don’t get it. They really don’t. That is because they can’t SEE. They have not had spiritual surgery.

Today, let’s mourn–and pray– for our lost family and friends who are honestly unable to see the Truth. And let’s express our humble thanks to the Lord for this undeserved gift of spiritual sight. Only when we are saved can we understand these amazing words:

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound!
that saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now am found
Was blind, but now I see!      
 
 

The Cardinal Rule of Confrontation

1360662_61612758I was a little put out. One of my daughters had been one of the only children not invited to a birthday party among a group of my Christian friends. As I shared my irritation with a friend (mistake #1, I might add), she encouraged me to confront the other mother. After all, Matthew 18:15-17 says if we have a grievance we are to go to that person and share our offense.

But I dragged my feet. Was this a Matthew 18 issue? Sure I was upset. Yes, my daughter’s feelings had been hurt. But was this worthy of a confrontation?  Had this mother really “sinned against me”?

Matthew 18 has to do with someone sinning against you.  It is not about someone not inviting your child to a party, or your fellow committee member not liking your plan, or a friend bypassing you and turning to someone else for advice.  It’s not about the coach not giving your child enough playing time or someone buying something you think they can’t afford.

Look, is there a place for some of these conversations? Absolutely.  But not in the context of confrontation.

As I contemplated my situation all those years ago, I came to this conclusion about confrontation:

If I can pinpoint how this person has sinned (and therefore offended God) using scripture, then I need to consider biblical confrontation.  If not, then it is probably wise to check my own heart and see if I am not the person who is sinning. 

For example, going back to that party, I was offended. But why?

Because my daughter wasn’t important enough for the little girl to invite to her birthday party. Was that a sin on her mother’s part?

Nope. Not at all.

No, the sin was on me. My pride had been hurt and I was placing that before a godly relationship with a Christian sister. Oh, working through this didn’t come easy. But I have learned that if I am hurt or offended, it is wise to wait a few days and to spend some time in prayer, asking God to reveal the state of my heart.

Now, most of us prefer not to ever confront someone and so we ignore Matthew 18 altogether.  Instead we gossip and mark the other person as our “un-friend”. We never give them another chance, but, instead, write them off for life.

But perhaps the same rule applies: Did the person really sin? Or did they simply offend me?

So many broken relationships. So many hurt hearts.

As much as it is up to us, we need to just get over it.

Life isn’t perfect. People aren’t perfect. Let’s move on in life. After all, we ourselves are not without our offensive moments, are we?  And if there is sin, well, then we’d better obey scripture and confront in a biblical manner.

All these years later, I don’t think that other mother ever knew the hurt that resulted from that missing invitation. I worked through it and we continued our friendship like it never happened.

I have found this rule to be a great one to follow. But, of course, it only works if you are committed to not holding grudges in your heart. But that’s a subject for another day.

 

The Death of a Friendship

1300094_10119213This post has been sitting in draft mode for at least six months. It is rather difficult to post because of the very vulnerable feelings I have chosen to share. I have also hesitated to post it because I don’t want anyone to think that I am pointing a finger at my old friend. I’m not.  However, because I have talked to so many other women who have gone through similar situations, I felt I must share this sometime. That time is today. I hope that there is at least one other person out there who receives comfort and hope from reading what I am going to share.

So here we go–

“This friendship is taking too much work and I just can’t deal with you right now,” were the icy words issuing forth from the mouth of my best friend of fifteen years.

 I felt my heart sink deep within as I tried to comprehend her words. I knew that our friendship was on rocky ground, which was why I had requested we meet together over coffee. However, I never expected to be so fully dismissed and rejected in the fell swoop of one sentence.

This woman and I had shared a kindred spirit that many other women envied. We had cried together over our children, she had been there for me through a difficult miscarriage, and I had supported her through a painful time in her marriage. We had discussed our passion for God and living a godly life in countless phone conversations and during dozens of play dates.

As the weeks, and then months, went by I realized that she was serious. Our friendship was completely and utterly over. She had rejected me with an entirety that was astonishing.

All these years later I continue to look back on that moment with bewilderment and hurt. But God also used it to teach me some very important lessons.

I discovered that He never changes. While men and women on earth change constantly, God is the rock that will never move. I can trust Him wholly and completely with my life. Oh, what a comfort in the midst of difficult days!

I learned to trust in God’s sovereignty in all areas of my life. As I reflect back on the final two or three years of that friendship, I realize that it had been draining me of precious energy instead of building me up. Perhaps she felt that way, too, and had the courage to just end it instead of letting it die a long, torturous death. Perhaps God was protecting both of us from further hurt down the road. Whatever the reason, I learned that I must believe that my heavenly Father knows best and rely on His plan, rather than my own.

And God taught me that wherever there is love, there is also great risk for hurt. But I also learned that He will walk with me through that hurt. I had loved deeply and I had been hurt deeply. For awhile afterwards, I held myself at arm’s length from everyone but my family. But over time, I realized that God wasn’t teaching me never to love again but instead that He will be there for me when the inevitable hurt comes around. And choosing to love, if we are believers in Jesus Christ, isn’t an option but a command.

He also taught me that my worth is found in Him alone. I don’t know if you have ever experienced such utter rejection, but I found it the most devastating, empty feeling I have ever experienced. Even now, all these years later, when I think on it, I still feel the sting of it. The tendency is to start making assumptions about yourself. I am a terrible person. I am a rotten friend. I must have done something just awful. God taught me to rest in Him. I wasn’t a perfect friend. I know that. But I have found forgiveness and acceptance from my heavenly Father.  He is so faithful! He will never say that I am not worth the effort, but stays by me no matter what mistakes I make. What a comfort in a time of such complete and utter rejection.

And, lastly, I had no choice but to learn that some answers are never going to be available to me. I have come to understand that I will probably never truly know exactly why my best friend chose to end that friendship the way she did. For awhile, I hung onto the hope that we would have a good, long chat to air things out. I knew that the friendship would never be the same, but I was hoping for some insight into the situation. I now know that I need to relinquish my insatiable curiosity and move on with my life.

I will always remember that friendship with great fondness. God provided much needed support through that special friend and He gave me wonderful memories that I will treasure all of my life. I will also remember the friendship with great sadness. It was a tragic end to a beautiful relationship. But I know that God has taught me many things through this trial and for that I am deeply grateful.  God knows best and I know that I can rely on Him to see me through even the hardest of times. He has proven this to me over and over again. I may never know why, but I rest in God’s plan and thank Him for helping me to forgive and move on with my life.

 

This post was shared here–

Jesse Wilcox Smith~ On His Knee

Wednesday Wisdom: Light and Joyfulness

SONY DSCOkay, so by now you are probably getting tired of the joy theme. I am actually ready to move on to something else myself. But hang in with me for this.  If I could pick one post for you to read about joy this entire month of January, it would be this one. It is, by far, the most concise and best thing I have read about joy. It is written by Andrew Murray in a book entitled The New Life: Words of God for Young Disciples of Christ.  I hope you will be as challenged and blessed as I was by Rev. Murray’s words:

Chapter 32: Light and Joyfulness

‘Blessed is the people that know the joyful sound: they walk, O Lord, in the light of Thy Countenance. In Thy name do they rejoice all the day.’ — Psalm 89:15, 16
‘Light is sown for the righteous, and gladness for the upright in heart.’ — Psalm 47
‘I am the Light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in the darkness, but shall have the light of life.’ — John 8:12
‘I will see you again, and your heart shall rejoice, and your joy no one taketh away from you.’ — John 16:22
‘As sorrowful, yet always rejoicing.’ — 2Cor. 6:10
 

 A father will always be eager to see his children joyful. He does all that he can to make them happy. Hence God also desires that His children should walk before Him in gladness of heart. He has promised them gladness: He will give it. (Psalm 89:16, 17; Isaiah 29; see John; 1Peter 1:8) He has commanded it: we must take it and walk in it at all times. (Psalm 32:1; Isaiah 12:5-6; 1Thessalonians 5:16; Phil. 4:4)

The reason of this is not difficult to find. Gladness is always the token that something really satisfies me and has great value for me. More than anything else is gladness for what I possess a recommendation of it to others. And gladness in God is the strongest proof that I have in God what satisfies and satiates me, that I do not serve Him with dread, or to be kept, but because He is my salvation. Gladness is the token of the truth and the worth of obedience, showing whether I have pleasure in the will of God. (Deut. 28:47; Psalm 40:9; Psalm 119:11) It is for this reason that joy in God is so acceptable to Him, so strengthening to believers themselves, and to all who are around the most eloquent testimony of what we think of God. (Neh. 8:11; Psalm 68:4; Proverbs 4:18)

In the Scriptures light and gladness are frequently connected with each other. (Esth. 8:16; Proverbs 13:9; Proverbs 15:30; Isaiah 60:20) It is so in nature. The joyful light of the morning awakens the birds to their song and gladdens the watchers who in the darkness have longed for the day. It is the light of God’s countenance that gives the Christian his gladness: in fellowship with his Lord, he can, and always will, be happy: the love of the Father shines like the sun upon His children. (Exodus 10:23; 2Samuel 23:4; Psalm 36:10; Isaiah 60:1, 20; 1John 1:5; 1John 4:16) When darkness comes over the soul, it is always through one of two things, through sin or through unbelief. Sin is darkness, and makes dark. And unbelief also makes dark, for it turns us from Him, who alone is the light.

The question is sometimes put, Can the Christian walk always in the light?  The answer of our Lord is clear, ‘He that followeth Me shall not walk in darkness.’  It is sin, the turning from behind Jesus to our own way, that makes dark. But at the moment we confess sin, and have it cleansed in the blood, we are again in the light. (Joshua 7:13; Isaiah 58:10; Isaiah 59:1, 2, 9; Matthew 15:14, 15; 2Cor. 6:14; Ephes. 5:8, 14; 1Thes. 5:5; 1John 2:10) Or it is unbelief that makes dark. We look to ourselves and our strength; we would seek comfort in our own feeling, or our own works, and all becomes dark. As soon as we look to Jesus, to the fulness, to the perfect provision for our needs that is in Him, all is light. He says, ‘I am the Light: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.’  So long as I believe, I have light and gladness. (John 12:36; John 11:40; Romans 15:13; 1Peter 1:8)

Christians, who would walk according to the will of the Lord, hear what His word says: ‘Finally, my brethren, rejoice in the Lord. Rejoice in the Lord always: again, I will say, Rejoice.’ (Phil. 3:1; Phil. 4:3) In the Lord Jesus there is joy unspeakable, and full of glory: believing in Him, rejoice in this. Live the life of faith: that life is salvation and glorious joy. A heart that gives itself undividedly to follow Jesus, that lives by faith in Him and His love, shall have light and gladness. Therefore, soul, only believe. Do not seek gladness; in that case you will not find it, because you are seeking feeling. But seek Jesus, follow Jesus, believe in Jesus, and gladness shall be added to you. ‘Not seeing, but believing, rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory.’

Lord Jesus, Thou are the Light of the world, the Effulgence (meaning radiance or brilliance) of the unapproachable light, in whom we see the light of God. From Thy countenance radiates upon us the illumination of the knowledge of the love and glory of God. And thou art ours, our light and our salvation. O teach us to believe more firmly that with Thee we can never walk in the darkness. Let gladness in Thee be the proof that Thou art all to us, and our strength to do all that Thou wouldst have us do. Amen.

  1. The gladness that I have in anything is the measure of its worth in my eyes: the gladness in a person, the measure of my pleasure in him: the gladness in a work the measure of my pleasure in it. Gladness in God and His service is one of the surest tokens of healthy spiritual life.
  2. Gladness is hindered by ignorance, when we do not rightly understand God and His love and the blessedness of His service: by unbelief, when we still seek something in our own strength or feeling: by double-heartedness, when we are not willing to give up and lay aside everything for Jesus.
  3. Understand this saying: ‘He that seeks gladness shall not find it; he that seeks the Lord and His will, shall find gladness unsought.’  Think over this. He that seeks gladness as a thing of feeling, seeks himself: he would fain be happy: he will not find it. He that forgets himself to live in the Lord and His will, shall be taught of himself to rejoice in the Lord. It is God, God Himself, who is the God of the gladness of our rejoicing: seek God, and you have gladness. You have then simply to take and enjoy it by faith.
  4. To thank much for what God is and does, to believe much in what God says and will do, is the way to abiding gladness.
  5. ‘The light of the eyes gladdens the heart.’  God has not intended that His children should walk in the darkness. Satan is the prince of the darkness: God is light: Christ is the Light of the world: we are children of the light: let us walk in the light. Let us believe in the promise, ‘The Lord shall be to thee an everlasting light. Thy sun shall no more go down, for the Lord shall be to thee an everlasting light, and the days of thy mourning shall be ended.

The New Life: Words of God for Young Disciples of Christ by Andrew Murray

(This book, valuable for young and old disciples of Christ, is only .99 for Kindle and $7.49 for the hard copy. You can find it here.)

 

Joy Challenge #4: An Important Question

1243996_56375506Oh, my! What a morning! I had planned out awhile ago what the 4th Joy Challenge would be, but last night when I sat down to get started on this post, I was completely blank. I walked away from the computer, deciding to try afresh in the morning.

How gracious of God to make it happen right in His timing. Since I am only writing now and it is already almost noon, it is a little late according to my plan! But, as always, He knows best.

So, anyway,  last night I had trouble falling asleep (for whatever reason) and so I slept straight through until 7am. I knew there was a possibility of a school delay this morning and so I looked out my window as soon as I woke up. Sure enough, the roads were snow-covered and I assumed the kids were going to be off or at least have a delay. But just to be sure, I called my husband, who had already been out for an hour or two salting parking lots. He is almost always aware of the school closings.

“They are on a two hour delay. I heard it on the radio.”

I gratefully sighed in relief and almost lay back down in my warm bed but then decided I’d better get up and write today’s blogpost. After all, I didn’t want to be late. I was just getting started, when my daughter came downstairs and told me that one of her friends said that the school didn’t have a delay. Now I was confused. Just about that time, I received a text from a friend I was meeting for breakfast who said she couldn’t meet today because the kids did have a delay.  I told my daughter to just go back to bed, since her friend obviously didn’t know what he was talking about ;)

Over the course of the next several minutes I tried to get to the bottom of what was going on.  Apparently, a local radio station had broadcasted in error the delay of our school district. When I figured it out, I called school to let them know we’d be late (and why) and then told the girls to get up and get ready.

It was a crazy morning. And it could have been very stressful. However, I learned a long time ago that things like this don’t really matter. Okay, if I am honest, I don’t always remember this. But this morning I did–perhaps because of what I knew I had to write when I got home!

Years ago, I remember reading a book called Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff. It was an interesting secular book, but lacked one key thing. While this book gave helpful reasons why not to “sweat the small stuff”, we Christians do not have to sweat the small stuff because of some very good, eternal reasons.

1. We are saved from the penalty of our sins by Jesus’s sacrifice on the cross. This salvation is not based on my works but on God’s grace alone.

2. We know that we will have a home with God in Heaven eternally.

3. We know the final ending of the story of the world.

It’s called having an eternal perspective.  When’s the last time you thought about Heaven? I mean really thought about it — not with just a passing thought, but focused on what is to come for you and your saved loved ones? It is an amazing, incredible thought. Revelation 21 gives this amazing description of Heaven. And we are going to go there! At least we are, if we have been transformed by the saving grace of Jesus Christ alone. This is what God promises us in His word (John 14:1-3).

And so we know that we have been saved from the penalty of our sin and that we are going to live with Jesus in this awesome place called Heaven after we die. Can anything be too terrible when compared with that?

I am not trying to make light of trials, but somehow so many trials and frustrations pale when compared to this hope we have within us.

Somehow getting it wrong about the school delay this morning and having to drive my kids to school in the snow (which I really hate to drive in) doesn’t really matter.

If we can just ask ourselves: DOES THIS REALLY MATTER? We could really avoid a lot of stress and conflict, which would in turn increase our joy.

However, many times we lose sight of eternal perspective and down we slide on the slippery slope of complaints and criticism and worry and fear and stress. The fruit of a short-term perspective is rarely good.

So here’s our FINAL JOY CHALLENGE:  Spend some time this week thinking about Heaven. Read Revelation 21 and John 14. And then, when you are faced with small frustrations this upcoming week — a bad cold, a potty training accident, a car that breaks down — ask yourself: DOES THIS REALLY MATTER IN THE SCOPE OF ETERNITY?

 

So How Do We Know?

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So how do we know if we have true, biblical joy?

I recently started a Bible Study guide on the books of Thessalonians and this week, in the first chapter of I Thessalonians, I came across this verse:

And you became followers of us and of the Lord, having received the word in much affliction, with joy of the Holy Spirit (v.6)

Hmmm…the word joy pops up so much more in scripture now that I’m thinking about it for this month! It reminds me of getting a new car. You don’t really think about how many cars there are like yours until you have one.  Then all of a sudden, your color and make of car are everywhere!

But back to the topic at hand–

My eyes then fell to the Bible Study guide notes. And this is what it said:

See Romans 14:17. Joy in the midst of suffering evidenced the reality of their salvation, which included the indwelling Holy Spirit (I Cor. 3:16; 6:19)

Joy in the midst of suffering evidenced the reality of their salvation.

And I thought about the last few times I have suffered.  I cringed as I realized that I probably didn’t show a whole lot of joy. And then I thought of the big things in life that were really hard. I may have come around to joy, but I don’t think I would have been accepting the praise of Paul over how I showed the joy of the Holy Spirit.

Perhaps the phrase “Holy Spirit” is the key here. As I have been focusing on joy this month, I realize that I have spent most of my life trying to concoct this holy joy on my own. And so I work hard to act like I have joy and peace — because that’s what we Christians do– but haven’t always felt that way on the inside.

But I am starting to wonder about that.

Yesterday, as I was listening to a radio program, I heard the testimony of a woman who was very tempted to have an affair.  She and her husband were missionaries and she fell in love with another man. She talked about how she allowed herself to think things that eventually turned into the fruit of betrayal. While the affair never went into physical betrayal, she got herself so involved emotionally that she wrestled greatly with the thought of turning her back on her husband and walking away.

But here is why I am telling you this: When she talked about making the decision to stay with her husband and to walk away from the potential affair, her heart (never follow your heart! Jeremiah 17:9) urged her to go with the other man. It took everything in her being to go against her feelings. But she did it. And, eventually, this woman felt love for her husband again and the marriage was able to heal.

What does that have to do with biblical joy? I think we have a choice to make. And our feelings will not always be ahead of that choice, but will often come afterwards.

The joy of the Holy Spirit isn’t something we always feel immediately in affliction. But if we are given the gift of it during our time of trial, we know it is not of our own making, but purely the mercy of God. And the verse in I Thessalonians showed me that this joy is one of the evidences of our salvation.

That is a sobering thought, isn’t it? Have you shown evidence of your faith during your last trial? Let’s obey and let the Holy Spirit do the work of giving us the feelings that go with the obedience.

As I read over what I just wrote, it feels a bit disconnected. Like maybe I tried to stuff too much into one post. But this post is full of all I am learning this month and I am not sure what to leave out, so I am going to just leave it as it is. I hope that it is possible for you to at least walk away with a tidbit or two, even if the whole thing only makes sense to me!  ~Leslie

 

Wednesday Wisdom: Can you have one without the other?

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Today’s post isn’t specifically about joy. However, I think these two things are so closely related that you can’t have joy without this being part of your life.

What is it? It is a heart of GRATITUDE.

In her book, Choosing Gratitude: Your Journey to Joy, Nancy Leigh DeMoss shares what she calls the Instigators of Ingratitude.  I found them so practical that I knew I had to share them with you. If we find ourselves stuck in the habit of something on this list, we can almost guarantee that we will experience very little joy.  Here it is in her words:

So much of what is wrong in our lives-out of sync, out of sorts, out of harmony- can be traced back to this root of ingratitude. So we must guard our hearts against it at every turn, watching for the telltale signs, feelings, and attitudes that can set it off in us; things such as:
 
Unrealistic Expectations. We can start to expect a lot– from life, from work, from others in general–until no matter what we’re receiving in terms of blessing, it’s never as much as we’re hoping for. Needing God but not always wanting God, we expect others to take the place of God in our lives, depending on them to guide our decisions, to love us continuously and unconditionally, to provide for us emotionally, physically, socially, totally. And when they disappoint us — which inevitably happens–rather than being grateful for God’s unchanging love and His faithfulness in meeting our needs, those unfulfilled expectations easily turn to resentment that poisons our hearts and relationships.
 
Forgetfulness. God warned the Israelites to be careful after they entered the Promised Land, not to forget the One who had rescued them from brutal slavery under the Egyptian taskmasters and had brought them into this good land. (Here she lists several verses to show her point). Forgetfulness and ingratitude go hand in hand. They forgot to thank God for His deliverance, His faithfulness, His provision, His protection, and His miracles on their behalf. 
     We must never forget that “he has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son” (Colossians 1:13). We must remember that He has faithfully met our needs and sustained  us by His grace.
     To forget is not only to invite ingratitude but (as God told the ancient Hebrews in Deuteronomy 8:19) to “perish”– to watch a little of us die every day when we could be experiencing abundant life. 
 
Entitlement. …When we take simple blessings for granted as if they were owed to us, or conversely, when we start to think that our house, our car, our wardrobe, or our general station in  life is beneath what we deserve, ingratitude finds all the oxygen it needs to thrive. 
     One of the unseemly side-effects of all the effort and energy our society has invested in building our individual and collective self-esteem is that our culture is now rife with this super-high level of deservedness. The more affluent we are, the higher our standard of living, it seems, the more demanding and discontented we become. Be careful where you place the bar for what you can and can’t live with or without. The height of that baseline affects just about everything.
 
Comparison. This is more than just keeping score on who has what and being perturbed because we don’t have as much as they do. It is every bit as dangerous and deceptive for us to focus on the many sacrifices we’re making, the hard work we’re performing, the extra hours we’re putting in, comparing our level of labor and commitment with what others are investing. Any time our focus is on ourselves — even if it’s on the good things we’re doing–it keeps us from being grateful for what others are contributing. We lose our appreciation for our spouse, children, friends, and coworkers when we constantly view them through our own shadow. 
 
Blindness to God’s Grace. We are debtors. We are the ones who owe. The mercies of God that are “new every morning” (Lamentations 3:23) are not blessings we deserve but graces given by God’s loving hand to fallen creatures, those whom He has redeemed by His good pleasure. To ignore such unmerited favor or consider it God’s obligation to us is to miss out on the vision of His loveliness and glory that will sustain us through life’s battles and keep joy flowing into and out of our heart. 
 
Ingratitude steals it all–healthy relationships, humility, contentment, enjoyment, and the sweet walk with Christ that provides our only access to abundant life. *

 
How’s that for convicting? I see several things on that list that are a daily struggle for me.  And yet, because we don’t tend to view these attitudes specifically as sin, we live in them without examination or any work at eradicating them from our life.

But ingratitude is listed with some pretty serious sins in 2 Timothy 3:2–

But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away!

Perhaps we had better take this sin a little more seriously!  And while we work on it, we will see our joy increase as our ingratitude decreases. How cool is that?

 

*Choosing Gratitude: Your Journey to Joy, pages 53-57
 
 
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