Life – Page 49 – Growing 4 Life

What does Facebook say about you?

1 Comment / January 23, 2012 May 18, 2016

I wonder if most of us realize what Facebook tells the world about us? When I was in that wonderful stage of dating (do you hear the sarcasm??), my parents had no idea what my date’s favorite bands were, what he liked to watch on television, or if he went to R-rated movies. They didn’t know if he was a whiner or a busy-body or used bad language.

Aah- how life has changed. As a parent, I love the tool of Facebook. I can tell immediately where someone’s heart is by looking at their info page. I can judge pretty quickly if the young person would be a friend that builds up or a friend that tears down. Because, like it or not, Facebook often shows our true character. It shows what we love, what we believe is important, and with what we fill our minds.

But it isn’t only our info pages that tells the world about us. Have you ever stopped to think what Facebook statuses and comments say about you? If we aren’t careful, we can fall into bad habits of complaining or bragging on this modern town square bulletin board.

When I first got my Facebook account, I tended to do some of this. It is easy to complain and now I had a chance to complain to the “whole world”! There is also a great temptation to share only the good stuff to make yourself look like your life is totally together. But, after awhile, I realized that neither of these tactics was uplifting or benefiting anyone, including me.

Now there is certainly not anything wrong with sharing exciting news or family photos. It is fun to share our lives and reconnect with far-flung family and long-lost friends. And there is certainly nothing wrong with asking for prayer about a difficult situation or sharing with the world something that we are really struggling with (if we are truly okay that the whole world knows it!) Facebook can be a great networking tool for people without jobs or in a situation where we need encouragement. But when we find ourselves in a pattern of only writing the negative, it says something about us. It says we are a complainer. And we all know what God says about complaining: Do all things without complaining and disputing (Philippians 2:14) In fact, in the Old Testament, God hated complaining so much that he swallowed some of the Israelites up with fire!

Numbers 11:1 Now when the people complained, it displeased the LORD; for the LORD heard it, and His anger was aroused. So the fire of the LORD burned among them, and consumed some in the outskirts of the camp.”

The other thing we can tend to do on Facebook, if we are not careful, is to make underhanded comments or statuses meant to hurt or embarrass others. Have you seen these statuses? They will be stated in such a way that they are not quite accusatory and they certainly do not mention names, but everyone makes their own deductions about who these statements are directed towards, while the intended party of the accusation or embarrassing statement is left to figure out how best to deal with the slight. This isn’t a healthy way to use Facebook and certainly not a good way to communicate with others.

And, finally, I have noticed another trend recently. It is the trend for people to only care about their own statuses. They share all of the interesting news in their own lives but never show any interest in anyone else’s. But, then, I guess that is the case in much of life in the real world, too, isn’t it? I think it is so important to show we care about others and what is happening in their lives, both virtually (if you are part of that world) and in the real world (Philippians 2:3).

Facebook can be a great tool for connecting with others. It can be a great way to stand for the Truth in this very dark world. May we use it in a way that glorifies God. Colossians 3:17 says: And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him. Believe it or not, “Whatever” includes Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn.

Disclaimer: All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. ;)

**If you enjoyed this post, would you help me get the word out about Growing4Life by sharing it? Thank you!

Parenting with Purpose

5 Comments / January 19, 2012 January 19, 2012

My four kids in 2003-- where does the time go?

This morning I am speaking at a local MOPS group on the subject of parenting. As I thought about my life as a mom, I realized how many mistakes I have made and how much I have learned. And I thought of the moments we have as parents that are so proud…and the moments that are so devastating. It is only by the grace of God that we raise kids who love the Lord. Below I have included a condensed version of what I am saying this morning, including some resources I recommend.

1. PERSPECTIVE We need to keep perspective on what is truly important. If we are believers, then we only have 18 short years to mold kids who love the Lord with all of their hearts, souls, minds, and strength and love their neighbors as themselves (Mark 12:30). How do we keep proper perspective? I would like to make three suggestions: 1) We need to pray humbly and often. 2) We need to always think about what’s best for our children, rather than get caught up in our own insecurities and feelings. 3) We need to be very careful where we get our information. Look for biblical resources as you face issues with your children. God’s Word must reign supreme. Godly advice has rarely been found in secular books and magazines.

These three things will help us to remember what is truly important as we go about the job of raising kids.

2. PLAN We need to stop parenting out of convenience and reaction. We need to carefully plan each of the following:

–Conversations: use conversation starters like, “What’s your favorite song?” , “Why do you think that person did that bad thing?” or “What scares you the most and why?”

–Activities: When I over-scheduled myself and my children, I would end up short-tempered, with irritable kids, a messy house, and an unhappy husband. I eventually learned that the strife wasn’t worth it. We need to carefully plan our activities and only do the things that are truly important.

–Entertainment: This encompasses so much of our lives. It includes TV shows, movies, music, and video games. We should give great care and thought to, not only on what we allow them to watch and play, but also how often. We should be encouraging our children to be producers (creating, imagining, and building) rather than consumers (watching).

–Chores: We should be actively involving our children in the work around the house, so that they are learning self-discipline and the sense of accomplishment that comes along with hard work. We want to raise adults who are willing to serve others. This starts at home with chores.

3. PRAISE and PUNISHMENT It is important to establish parental authority in our homes when our children are young. It will not get easier as they get older. While listening to our children’s thoughts and feelings on matters is important and even, on occasion, may lead us to change our minds on an issue, we need to be the authority in our homes, as God designed.

We need to be very careful in our use of praise and punishment. Neither should be overdone. Punishment should only be for defiance and not for accidents. It should be thought out and never be born out of our split-second angry reaction. Ha! I write this and I know that I still struggle with this. Angry reactions are what comes natural to me. “Give me your ipod! I am keeping it for a year!” Thankfully, my husband usually helps me see reason and we develop a more reasonable punishment.

And, on a side note, I have never seen a child’s psyche damaged because they can’t wear or eat what they want. However, I have seen great damage occur when a child always gets their own way and believes themselves to be the center of the universe.

4. PROPER PRIORITIES Our priorities should look like this: 1. God 2. Marriage Relationship 3. Children. In many homes, it appears that the children take the number one spot. In fact, I heard Tim Keller talk about this the other day on a podcast. He talked about how the child-centered family of today, instead of being a healthy Christian model, is nothing like a Christian family should look like. Many of us have made our children idols and the troublesome thing is – in most Christian circles we believe this is the right thing to do.

5. PRIVILEGE We need to remember what an incredible privilege it is to raise children who love the Lord! Many are those who only wish they could do it once or do it over. We need to remember how blessed we are and continue on doing our very best even when the road grows difficult and we grow tired.

There is a war going on for the souls of our children. We need to fight for them! God has entrusted many of us with one or more of these souls. May we approach this opportunity with purpose and whole-hearted devotion.

Some resources I recommend:

Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp

What the Bible Says About Parenting by John MacArthur

Dare to Discipline by James Dobson

Creative Correction by Lisa Welchel

Speaking God’s Language

Leave a Comment / January 12, 2012 January 12, 2012

My worried mom decided to take my brother to the doctor. He was three years old and he wasn’t talking. At all. His communication consisted of making weird, throaty noises that sounded like “gunk! gunk!” and pointing. At the time, I was four years old (we are only 17 months apart) and quite talkative. In fact, I embarrassed my mom at times with my blunt observations of things going on around me.

An appointment was set and off we went to the doctor. After talking a bit with my mom and observing my brother and me, the doctor pointed to me and said, “She’s your problem.”

The doctor had correctly diagnosed that I was talking for my brother, making it quite unnecessary for him to speak a word. I understood his primitive “gunk” language and functioned as his interpreter. When my mom and dad started keeping a closer eye on me, my brother started talking in full sentences almost immediately. My brother already knew how to talk. He just didn’t have to.

As parents, there comes for each of us the day when our teens will start talking in full “spiritual” sentences. Oh, the process may be delayed if we keep interpreting for them, as I did for my brother. We can be tempted to make assumptions about whether or not our child is saved. We often make excuses for our child’s behavior and motives. But when we finally step back and our child starts speaking with his choices and actions about the things that matter, will he be speaking God’s language?

Many of us think our 3 year olds are too young to understand life. We think our 8 year olds care nothing for anything except playing with legos or dolls. But we have found in our home that children do care.

We have discussed a lot of topics in our home. We talked about heaven and hell. We talked about trials and hard decisions we were facing. We talked about God’s Sovereignty and we talked about the debate of election vs. free will. We talked about respect for authority, holiness, godly leadership and consequences of bad choices. We have always used God’s Word as our resource. If it isn’t in there, we can’t stand on it. We have even had discussions of traditions we, as parents, held dear to our hearts, but after discussing it with our family, realized were just that: traditions. They weren’t biblical and we admitted that. And, through it all, our kids listened to these discussions. And, as they got a little older, they participated. Oftentimes, they began some of these discussions with their own questions or thoughts. These discussions continue in our home even now on a very regular basis.

We have seen in the lives of our children the fruit of these discussions. Oh, they aren’t perfect, as many of you can attest to. But as we have let them “talk” on their own, we have seen that they were listening all along.

Raising kids is so difficult. But we can do ourselves a great favor by not underestimating our children’s ability to understand adult topics. Sure, there are some things they do not need to know. But don’t protect them from life’s hard decisions and discussions. If you show an example of relying on biblical Truth, they will see that. Then when we step back to let them start talking with their lives, they will use the Bible as their guide, as well. Are there some kids who are exceptions to this pattern? Yes. I acknowledge that there are.

We have a great responsibility as parents to teach our children God’s Truth. This can’t be done if the only things we are discussing at the dinner table is sports, the neighbor’s dog, and how the party went last night. Let’s discuss the important stuff, so that when our kids start talking in spiritual sentences, they are speaking God’s language.

Rook and the Christian Life

1 Comment / January 9, 2012 October 29, 2014

Have you ever heard of the game “Rook”? Over the holidays we had the opportunity of spending an evening playing Rook with a large group of friends. It was set up so that you rotate tables and each hand is played just a little differently. It was a little confusing trying to remember which color was trump or if we were going to double our score at the end, but it was a lot of fun! And then came the hand where the instructions were to lose. The winners would take the losers’ score and the losers would take the winners’ score. Now that was a mind stretcher, at least for me. It was hard to play to lose when you have been playing to win. Everything changed. Instead of laying down the highest card, I needed to lay the lowest. Instead of strategizing with my partner and trying to help him win, I needed to make sure we both lost. It was a complete change of direction and every decision made in that game relied on me remembering that change of direction.

It reminded me of the Christian Life and the change of direction that is required and the struggle that often comes with that change. The only difference is that in life we have been playing to lose. We have been playing for our own glory, our own gain, our own selfish pursuits. We have been causing havoc by demanding our own way, by not caring who we hurt, by using our material wealth for ourselves instead of helping others. And then God saves us. Suddenly, all of the rules have changed. Now we are supposed to be playing for God – His glory, His gain. We are supposed to be denying ourselves and thinking of others. It is a complete change of mind and direction. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says it perfectly: Therefore, if anyone is in Christ,he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.

For most of us, this change in direction presents quite a few challenges. If we are trying to live for God’s glory and not our own selfish desires, it changes everything. Self-denial comes hard– whether we are talking about what entertainment I fill my head with, what kind of steward I am with God’s money, or how I treat my friends.

The other day I sat down to watch a sitcom that my husband and I used to find quite entertaining. Reruns have come back on TV and as I had loved that show, I thought it would be fun to record them for a fun half hour break from life. The disappointing thing was when I watched, my conscience was pricked to the point that I didn’t even enjoy the show. I knew that filling my mind with this show was dishonoring my heavenly Father. The main character was a pathetic human being, bent on getting his own way no matter who he hurt in the process (and this was glorified and turned into comedy) and the dialogue was suggestive and impure.

I was excited to realize that I am growing spiritually! What I used to watch no longer even appealed to me. This is a sign that the change of direction is taking place.

Unfortunately, while this may be a positive change in my spiritual life, the more mature I grow in Christ, the more aware I am of the overwhelming sin in my life. And so, while I am thankful for that small bit of growth, I realize just how miniscule it is when compared to the spiritual growth that still needs to occur in my life.

In the card game, we returned to our original direction of playing to win in the next hand. But once we are a Christian, we should always be playing to win! Let’s not wallow in our losing, selfish state, as we are so apt to do. If you enjoy the same entertainment you did ten years ago, what does that say about your spiritual growth? If you are using your resources– time, money, and energy– the same way you did ten years ago, what does that say about your spiritual growth?

Let’s always play to win! And by so doing, we may stand out among the world as losers (John 15:18-19) but we can rest assured knowing we are heading in the right direction for eternity!

Your House is on Fire!

Leave a Comment / January 5, 2012 January 5, 2012

It was early morning, as I stepped out into the crisp fall air. My nose wrinkled as the smell of burning leaves assailed it. Assuming that the neighbor was burning leaves, I glanced towards their house. But instead of burning leaves, I saw a burning house! Could it be? Yes! The house was definitely on fire. What to do? “Call the fire company!” I shrieked to someone standing nearby, as I ran towards the burning house.

“Mr. Brown! Mr. Brown! Your house is on fire!” I screamed. The front door was unlocked, so I pushed my way through. The fire seemed to be at the very back of the house, so we were safe for now.

I found Mr. Brown lying on the couch, fast asleep.

“Mr. Brown! Your house is on fire!”

Mr. Brown raised his head and stared at me. “Okay. Thanks for telling me, ” he said, as he put his head back down on the maroon-colored pillow.

I stood for a few seconds in amazed disbelief and then tried again.

“Mr. Brown, do you understand what I am saying? Your house! It’s on fire!” I shouted.

Mr. Brown, looking half-annoyed this time, said, “Yes! I heard you the first time! I believe you. There is no need to tell me again.” and closed his eyes again.

Thinking he may be half-asleep and not quite with it, I decided to make one last ditch effort at warning him.

“Mr. Brown! If you don’t get out of here, you may lose your life! We need to get out now!”

This time Mr. Brown sat up and looked me in the eye. “Look, I hear what you are saying. Will you just leave me alone? Please? I will get out after awhile. I only smell a bit of smoke. You go on ahead.”

I stared at him. Was he losing his mind? I didn’t know what else to do, so I turned and left him laying there on his sofa in his burning house. As I stumbled through the rocky soil to my house, I couldn’t believe what had just happened. Could it be that this man, who seemed to be pretty intelligent, was just laying there as his house burned down around him? The morning had grown quite foggy and smoky and I couldn’t see…where was I going? I stumbled and fell. I hit my head…

And then, suddenly, I found myself in my bed. It was a dream. And, yet, something about it was very real.

If Mr. Brown believed that his house was on fire, like he said he did, why didn’t he get up? Why didn’t he do something about it? Why did he just continue to lay there on that old sofa like it was any old morning?

If Mr. Brown truly believed, he would get off of that sofa and out of the house. His mouth spoke the words that he believed what I was saying, but his actions showed that he really didn’t believe.

As the details of that dream continued twisting and turning in my head, I thought of all of the people who say that they believe in Jesus. They say they are Christians. And yet that belief hasn’t yielded any change at all in their lives. They still continue in their worldly habits. Most of their time is consumed with selfish pursuits. They do not thirst for Truth. They may or may not go to church. There is no evidence of spiritual growth and a deepening understanding of God and His Word.

While I knew it wasn’t my place to judge their eternal destinies, I knew that I had to change my thinking from this day forth. I couldn’t believe someone was saved just because they said they believed in Jesus. If their life didn’t match the words, I had to consider that they might not be saved. This was not about judging their outward behavior. This was about loving them enough to care about their eternal destiny.

You see, true belief requires action, whether we are referring to a burning house or our eternal destiny.

May we all be more careful about placing that “saved” stamp on those who say with their mouths they believe but have no fruits to go along with that statement. And may we continue, as always, in growing in our knowledge of God and His Word and in examining our own hearts and minds for sin.

I John 2: 3-5 Now by this we know that we know Him, if we keep His commandments. ⁴ He who says, “I know Him,” and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him. ⁵ But whoever keeps His word, truly the love of God is perfected in him. By this we know that we are in Him.

Matthew 7: 17-19 Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. ¹⁸ A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. ¹⁹ Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. ²⁰ Therefore by their fruits you will know them.

James 2: 17-24 Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead. ¹⁸ But someone will say, “You have faith, and I have works.” Show me your faith without your works, and I will show you my faith by my works. ¹⁹ You believe that there is one God. You do well. Even the demons believe—and tremble! ²⁰ But do you want to know, O foolish man, that faith without works is dead? ²¹ Was not Abraham our father justified by works when he offered Isaac his son on the altar? ²² Do you see that faith was working together with his works, and by works faith was made perfect? ²³ And the Scripture was fulfilled which says, “Abraham believed God, and it was accounted to him for righteousness.” And he was called the friend of God. ²⁴ You see then that a man is justified by works, and not by faith only.

Just do it.

1 Comment / January 2, 2012 January 2, 2012

For many of us, January 2 brings the opportunity for a fresh start. Some of us have specifically set New Year’s resolutions. But, if you are like me, those resolutions usually last about a month…if that. So what truly brings about lasting change? Why can even people who do not know the Lord change for the better?

Could it be that they just do it? They just make up their mind to behave a certain way and then follow through on that decision? When Nike came out with their logo of “Just do it” I wasn’t sure what to think. But recently, I realized the wisdom of that phrase.

Our language is so peppered with words like “try” and “maybe” and “perhaps” because we are so afraid to commit to change. And maybe that is because we are so afraid to fail. When we make the statement, “I will lose weight,” or “I will stay on a budget,” it sets us up for failure. It is much easier to say “I will try to lose weight,” or “perhaps this is the year we will work on the budget,”. Now, we have a way out. A bit of a loophole that we can crawl through if it doesn’t work.

As I was thinking about this, I realized that the Bible never tells us to try to trust the Lord. There is never a verse that says perhaps we should love the Lord with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength. Instead, the Bible is filled with verses of commands we are to obey. There is no loop hole there. Below, I have placed a few verses that I looked up as I was writing this. I didn’t find one verse that gave me a way out of obedience.

So, how does that affect our resolutions? I think it is because many of the resolutions we set have to do with sin issues in our lives. Perhaps we are overweight (gluttony) or we are in debt (money is our idol) or we are wrapped up in an evil habit (spoken against in God’s Word). So we know that these are areas that God wants us to have victory. What are some steps we can take to assure that we succeed this year?

First: We need to set attainable goals. I am in the process of trying to figure out what are realistic goals for me. If we make a resolution to run an hour a day and we are having a hard time even finding 15 minutes of extra time for exercise, we are setting ourselves up for failure. In his book, Total Money Makeover, Dave Ramsey recommends paying off the smallest debt first, so that there will be some reward early on. I think the same is true for setting goals. Set one that you can actually reach. And when that one becomes a habit, then stretch yourself a bit further. It doesn’t have to be New Year’s Day in order to set a goal.

Second: We need to pray and ask the Lord for His guidance as we set goals. It is important that we make sure the goals we set are in accordance with His Word and His will for our lives. Let’s ask Him to give us strength. We need His help.

And third: Once we have determined realistic and attainable goals and we have asked the Lord for guidance and strength, let’s commit each morning to doing them for just that day. Let’s actually follow through. We make it seem so hard. But it’s not hard. It just takes commitment. We just need to do it.

Here’s to 2012 and attainable goals!

Proverbs 3: 5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; ⁶ In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct^[a] your paths.

Mark 12:30 And you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ This is the first commandment.

Philippians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there isany virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.

Colossians 3: 12-13 Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; ¹³ bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.

James 1: 2-3 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, ³ knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.

James 4: 7-8 Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. ⁸ Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

Representing the King

Leave a Comment / December 29, 2011 December 29, 2011

In my last post I gave some ways to make 2012 a great year. They were ideas from across the spectrum of life. Since that post, I have had some more ideas. But only one that I think is important enough to add to my list. And here it is:

Remember who your Father is.

Can you remember when you were a child and you first became aware of the fact that when you did something wrong, you not only made yourself look bad, but you made your parents look bad, too? As you grew into a teenager, you became very aware that your actions said something about your parents. You might not have cared what your actions were saying about your parents…but a message was being given. You see, while we were still living with our parents, we were, in effect, representing their household.

Now let’s think a moment about our relationship with God. If he is our Heavenly Father, what do our actions say about Him? He is All-Powerful and All-Knowing. He is King of Kings. If we are saved by grace, through the blood of Jesus Christ, we are children of this King. We, in essence, belong to the household of God. Our words and actions–if we call ourselves “Christians”–say something about God, our Heavenly Father.

So what message are we giving? Do our actions speak highly of the one Who saved me by His grace, showing deep love and respect? Or are my actions rebellious and seeking for ways to rationalize activities that are clearly spoken against in God’s Word, with no inclination or care towards what He thinks?

Going back to my original illustration, we can see this principle clearly at work in real life. Which teenager represents his parents well? Which teenager shows through his actions that he loves and respects his parents? The rebellious teen who makes unwise choices or the obedient teen who makes wise choices? Of course, the obedient teen best represents his parents and what they stand for.

In a perfect world, all parents are worthy of being represented. But, here on earth, that is not the case. Parents aren’t perfect and life gets messy. However, we do not have the same issue when it comes to our Heavenly Father. God loves us perfectly. Any rebellion or foolishness or sin on our part doesn’t stem from anything He said or did.

And so as we head into 2012, let’s remember who our Father is. In every little thing we say. In every little thing we do. Let’s remember that we are a child of the King of kings! We are His representatives here on earth. Let’s represent Him well this coming year.

I wish you a very Happy New Year!

25 Ways to Make 2012 a Great Year

2 Comments / December 26, 2011 December 26, 2011

As we anticipate the new year, we often make lofty resolutions or set impossible goals. But sometimes small, thoughtful actions can reap wonderful rewards. Here are a few simple ideas on how to make next year a great one:

1. Smile. A lot.

2. Ask someone a question about their life. Be genuinely interested.

3. Don’t waste time or energy thinking about things you can’t change.

4. So everyone has a bad day. Find perspective and choose joy.

5. Study God’s Word. Simply reading it isn’t enough.

6. Open your mind to a different type of music. Try classical, jazz, or hymns.

7. Try something new and interesting this year. How about painting, photography, ice skating, gardening, camping, baking, running, or learning to play an instrument? The ideas are endless. And, for goodness’ sake, stop telling yourself you are too old to try something new!

8. Read a book that goes beyond boy meets girl. Read something that will deepen your understanding of humanity.

9. Find ways to serve others. Don’t waste your time, energy, or money trying to impress them.

10. Turn the TV off. Only turn it on if you know specifically what you are going to watch. Make a rule never to turn it on while your family is sharing a meal together.

11. When someone says something hurtful, don’t defend yourself. Just walk away.

12. Listen to someone’s point before jumping in with your own opinion.

13. Make a budget and stick to it.

14. Only eat when you are hungry.

15. Pick one area you would like to see changed in your life and pray about it daily. Watch God work. He may change the circumstances or He may change your attitude.

16. Don’t try to change people. Instead inspire them.

17. Stop hedging and tell the truth.

18. Visit a museum and take the time to read the displays and increase your knowledge of the world around you.

19. Appreciate the ordinary moments. Life can change in a heartbeat.

20. Train your mind to gloss over real (or imagined) offenses of the past, whether they happened 5 years ago or 5 minutes ago. Grudges aren’t beneficial to anyone.

21. Develop a relationship with an elderly person. We can learn so much from their experiences. Don’t be so arrogant to think they couldn’t possibly understand you or your predicament. Life hasn’t changed that much.

22. Remember that every choice has a consequence.

23. Think before you talk.

24. Think before you act.

25. While you are thinking, ask yourself these questions: Will this glorify God? Will it encourage someone? Is it necessary? What will be the consequences of these words or this action?

As I was writing this list, I realized that there are some changes that I would really like to implement. However, it almost feels impossible to make a permanent change. But perhaps, instead of seeing the looming, overwhelming need for a permanent change, we just think about the next 24 hours? Which of these can we work on today? And then do the same thing again tomorrow. Before you know it, a year has gone by and we have changed.

Can you think of other ideas I should have added to this list? I would love to have your input on other changes we can all make that would make 2012 a great year – for ourselves and, more importantly, for those around us.

The law of imperfection

2 Comments / December 19, 2011 December 14, 2014

The other night we had the blessing of going to our daughter’s Christmas Concert at school. She was only in two numbers during the whole two hours, so we had kind of psyched ourselves up to get through the evening. When we arrived, we found some good friends to sit by and proceeded to move to our chairs. Except when we went to sit down, we found ourselves bumping elbows and hips. The seats were so closely put together that it was almost impossible to sit comfortably.

I started to complain almost immediately. “Who set up these chairs? What were they thinking?” I tried in vain to wiggle my chair to the left and then to the right. It was so uncomfortable. I turned my head to the end of the row. Could we possibly inch the chairs to the left or right? Nope. No chance. They would obviously be out of line with the rest of the rows and there was not an inch of space between any of them. I sat back and resigned myself to sitting diagonally on my seat to get through what was going to be a very long evening. My husband (whom I nicknamed “MacGyver” a long time ago) came up with a great solution. We folded up an unused chair. Aahhh. Space to sit comfortably. We adjusted our chairs and actually enjoyed the rest of the evening, which was filled with the songs of Christmas.

But as I pondered on my reaction, I realized something. I complained when the chairs weren’t set up correctly, but I wouldn’t have even thought about the chairs if they would have been set up in a comfortable way. I would never have entered the row and exclaimed how lovely it was that the chairs were positioned so comfortably. We could just have easily solved that problem (i.e. fold up an extra chair) without my unnecessary complaining. Are complaining and negative words necessary for solving an uncomfortable or difficult dilemma?

So why this human tendency to focus on imperfection? Why do we so often notice the bad stuff but tend to ignore the good stuff? Why do we feel the need to complain and criticize when something doesn’t suit us? Why don’t we notice how wonderful something is? Why don’t we appreciate when something goes as planned?

We find this law at play in our company. We have several hundred customers we service regularly. I bet you can guess who we hear from most often. Yep- you guessed it! The ones who are dissatisfied. We are always so very thankful for those customers who take the time to write a note thanking us or to pick up the phone and call just to tell us how pleased they are with the work we did for them. What a blessing to us and to the employees who did the work.

Let’s take this thought and apply it to our homes, shall we? When was the last time we thanked our husband or wife for doing something good- or even something very routine- that we expected them to do? On the other hand, when is the last time we scolded, criticized, or even yelled at that same person for doing something we didn’t like? Play the same scenario out in your head with your children, your friends, your parents, your pastor, and your co-workers. You see, it is applicable in almost every area we find ourselves in.

Sure, sometimes the negative has to be addressed. I am not talking about the unhealthy choice of ignoring serious problems. What I am referring to are the things we say that just do not need to be said. It’s the unnecessary comment I made about the chairs. It’s the negative comments we make about our favorite sports team, our children’s schools, the restaurant, or the store where we shop. It includes the unkind comments we make to our close friend about someone’s hair…or clothes…or choice of dog…or how they use their money. Unless it is a biblical issue and against a commandment we find there, does it really matter?

The Christmas season is upon us. What a great time to encourage others and set a good example with our language. Let’s edify one another with our words and comments as we gather together for Christmas celebrations.

Proverbs 10: 19 In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, but he who restrains his lips is wise.

Colossians 4:6 Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.

Proverbs 25:11 A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.

Scheduled for Surgery

2 Comments / December 15, 2011 December 15, 2011

The young doctor picked up the scalpel to make his first cut. His hand shook over the patient’s abdomen. Within the middle-aged woman’s body there was a tumor the size of an orange raging a war against her. It was destroying her life. The doctor just stood there, shaking. Sweat from his brow ran down his face. He looked at the nurse by his side and finally spoke his thoughts, “I just can’t do it. I will hurt her. She might have scars. She might be mad at me. Let’s just send her back to her room.”

A joke, right? What surgeon in his right mind would send a patient from the operating room because he was worried about hurting or scarring him or her? What honorable physician would be worried that his patient might be angry with him? And, yet, when God tries to “operate” on us, we raise our fists and shout, “why, God? How could you do this to me? I don’t deserve this!”

Somehow I think we keep forgetting that God is our Creator. He knows everything. I often don’t understand why He has allowed something….whether it be in my life or someone else’s. Many times life appears to be very unfair. But God sees our hearts. He sees where we are diseased and broken. Just as the surgeon wields his instrument, cutting and stitching in ways we could never understand, to improve our physical health, so our Heavenly Father cuts away and stitches to improve our spiritual health.

That trial that we are finding hard to bear may be what it will take to topple an idol held firmly in the wrong place within our heart. Or perhaps it may work on our deadly habits of selfishness or greed. Possibly the trial will even change the direction we are headed in life. Any pain or scars that results from the surgery will be well worth it, because God knows best. How He must shake His head with sadness when we cry out in arrogant anger, thinking with our finite minds that we know best.

James 2:2-4 says: My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, ³ knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. ⁴ But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.

We are to count it joy when we face a trial because it changes us…it perfects us. This is so much easier to write than it is to do. I realize this. But if we are going to obey God’s Word, then we have no choice but to submit to His will and joyfully trust that He knows best.

So if we know we are scheduled for spiritual surgery–and we all are, we just don’t know when–how can we prepare? It is a known fact that physical surgery goes so much better if we are healthy and in good physical shape. Recovery time is considerably shorter, as well. Might I suggest that spiritual surgery may be similar? We will be much better prepared for spiritual surgery if we are in God’s Word daily, living a life of prayer and thankfulness. We will especially be better prepared if we are practicing joy in the little cuts and bruises of life.

If we are believers, we are scheduled for spiritual surgery. We don’t know when. We don’t know how invasive. But we are scheduled.