Life – Page 45 – Growing 4 Life

Drifting…

2 Comments / July 2, 2012 July 23, 2014

We were enjoying a day at Assateague Island. It is a beautiful, family-oriented beach complete with wild ponies, although we didn’t see any that particular day. We trudged through the sand, looking for a good place to set up. We found one fairly close to the lifeguard, which made us all feel a bit safer, as the surf was in fine form that day. It didn’t take long for the kids to grab their boogie boards and start riding waves. I took my sand chair down to the water’s edge and set up for one of my favorite activities at the beach: people-watching.

Now, if you are a mom you have the art of “ocean scanning” down to a science. Scanning and counting…scanning and counting…over and over again. There’s one…two…there’s kid three…and (sigh of relief) the fourth. I count over and over, making sure they are all safe several times each hour. This started when they were small and even though two are now classified as adults officially, the “mom instinct” doesn’t quit and I am still counting to four several times each hour when we are all together.

This particular day, I got distracted in my people-watching and hadn’t “counted” for awhile. When I finally looked up to start scanning once again, I didn’t see anyone familiar in front of me. My eyes strayed further down the beach and there I spotted our group, several hundred yards away from where they had started. They had drifted, unknowingly, down the beach, away from the lifeguard.

This is such a great picture to what happens to us in life if we aren’t careful. It may be in our marriage, where small selfish decisions become larger and more frequent until we find that we have drifted into indifference. Or perhaps it is our listening and watching habits, where a lack of discernment finds us drifting further and further into the cesspool of what is the American entertainment industry. Or it may be the lure of materialism, where we find ourselves buying “one more thing” and trying to convince ourselves that we will be content, only to find ourselves drifting further and further away from contentment. Drifting is how affairs get started, how relationships break down, and often why our kids walk away from the Lord. We think this one time…this one thing…this won’t hurt. But the next time, it’s so much easier to rationalize once again. And it gets easier and easier. Drifting is a dangerous business.

The only way to keep from drifting is to never let our guards down. Ever. We are to be a watchman for our own lives and for our children. Yes, it is exhausting. It is hard work. And it is time-consuming. But if we are true believers and desire to obey God’s Word, it is required. Too easily, we humans drift into bad habits and dangerous places. Before we know it, we drift away from the lifeguard and the safe place He has provided for those who live in obedience and we move into dangerous territory filled with sharp rocks, giant waves, and dangerous undercurrents. We rarely come away unscathed when we drift away from safety.

Drifting is a natural occurrence. It is only through knowing and obeying God’s word that we can we keep from drifting. It is only through diligent and purposeful examination of each choice we make that we can stay in the vicinity of our Lifeguard. Perhaps we should all examine how close we are to the Lifeguard this day and if we find ourselves far down the beach, may we ask the Lord humbly and sincerely to carry us back to safety.

Hebrews 2:1 Therefore we must give the more earnest heed to the things we have heard, lest we drift away.

I Corinthians 16:13 Watch, stand fast in the faith, be brave, be strong.

The Reign of Incompetence

Leave a Comment / June 28, 2012 June 28, 2012

“Ummm…just a second…I will go check.” The young man who was on the phone with my husband was less than unsure. Eric impatiently waited as the young man went to look for the needed item. When he came back he stammered out an explanation of the item in his hand. That is when Eric realized that he didn’t even have a clue what he was looking for.

Now, you might think that we are being awfully hard on this young man, but the fact of the matter is, what Eric needed was a very basic item found in a hardware store. He should have been able to call and get a quick yes or no. But, instead, he ended up on the phone with someone who was incompetent.

A few weeks later we went out to eat and fell into the hands of an incompetent waitress. She was a pleasant girl, but seemed to be struggling with the very basics of her job. It was a frustrating meal, as we all would try to catch her attention and she wouldn’t even look our way.

We all run into incompetent people now and again, but am I the only one who feels like it is becoming more and more often? So what can we do?

First, we should realize that the clueless person is a person with feelings. Chances are they were thrown into the job without proper training. Or perhaps they are trying to do a job for which they are not suitable. Hopefully, they figure that out sooner rather than later, but our rudeness isn’t going to help them either way. And, as a Christian, we are responsible to treat them with courtesy and kindness, no matter how frustrated we may be (so much easier to write than to do!)

And then, second, I can’t help but think that we, as believers, should never be found to be incompetent. Oh, I know that there are those beginning days of a new job when we are uncertain about things. But we should learn as quickly as we can, always thinking about the next thing, and working hard to know the job. Colossians 3:23-24 are two of my favorite verses. They say: And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ.

As believers, we are to do all we do with our best effort, for we are serving the Lord, not men. This is hard to remember when you are in a job atmosphere where workers slack off when the boss isn’t around. Or where there is great laziness and disinterest in the job. But, as believers, we are called by God to be competent, diligent, and hard-working, despite the crowd around us.

And, just a word of caution, this is not the popular thing to do. Oh, your boss will love it (if you don’t have an incompetent, lazy boss who is worried about you surpassing him!) but your co-workers may grow resentful; they may even call you names. Be prepared. Doing what God calls us to in all aspects of life isn’t always easy. In fact, I would venture to say it is usually the rockier route to travel.

And, finally, as parents, business owners, and teachers, let’s work hard to instill this passion for doing the best job we can into our children, employees, and students. Let’s expect competence and diligence from them. Let’s encourage their hearts, while demanding excellence. It is up to us to train the next generation. How are we going to do that if we lazily do our own thing? We have a responsibility and we need to take it seriously.

Incompetence may reign in our culture – but it doesn’t need to reign in the lives of ourselves or our families. Let’s show that we are different because we serve the Lord. Are you ready to travel the rocky path and do what’s right, no matter the cost?

Java Joe’s and the Death of a Dream

2 Comments / June 25, 2012 March 19, 2017

There is an old brick house we pass each year on the way to the beach. One year I saw that this house had become Java Joe’s, an adorable little coffee house. It looked like a great place to enjoy a cup of coffee with a friend and I wished I live closer. But then I noticed a year or two later that Java Joe’s looked deserted. I wondered why it looked closed on a weekday. It seemed so odd. And then last week, on our way to the beach, we passed it again and saw that the building is for sale. Sadly, I realized that the cute little coffee shop is no longer in existence.

My thoughts turned towards the owner who first dreamed of opening a coffee shop someday. I imagined how he must have found the proper piece of real estate to make his dream come true. He probably excitedly prepared plans to turn the old house into a coffee shop and was filled with anticipation as opening day approached. I wondered if the first few months were all he hoped or if it seemed destined for failure from the beginning? This owner had a dream and he went for it! But the dream died the day Java Joe’s closed permanently. Perhaps the owner moved on to bigger and better dreams or maybe he gave up and still bares the scars of his dead dream. I don’t really have any way of knowing.

But I guess all of us have had to say good-bye to dreams at one time or another. They are hard, hard moments. Perhaps it is a wayward child entrapped in a life of abuse. Or a failed business that we poured our heart and soul into. Maybe we have never found Mr. or Miss Right and we have had to say good-bye to our dreams of marriage and family. For some of us, our children will never know their grandparents due to an untimely death. For others of us, we are finding it impossible to have a family at all because of infertility issues or the children we do have are handicapped in some way and their future isn’t what we longed for for our child. Perhaps we suffer with a chronic illness and have had to realize we can’t do what we had always dreamed of. And many have said good-bye to their fairy tale dreams of the perfect marriage while they flounder in the real world of being married to a sinner. So many dream deaths. So many tears. So much sadness. If you have lived on this fallen earth then you have had to say goodbye to a dream.

How do we handle the death of our dreams–especially the ones that we hold so near and dear to our heart? Oftentimes, the disappointment and lingering ramifications are invisible to others, making it even harder to work through it all. Most of us don’t share our deepest innermost feelings with the world and so we bare the pain and grief all alone. We are filled with a desire to shout out–

I am in mourning here! Why don’t you care?!?

But the world just keeps going on, business as usual. It doesn’t care. No one cares.

That is the lie we tell ourselves.

But is it true?

Eventually, if we are believers, we understand that it’s not true. That the God of the universe loves and cares for us (Psalm 55:22; I Peter 5:7). We remember that He is Sovereign and All-Powerful. We submit to His will and we make a purposeful choice to have a good attitude, asking Jesus to shine brightly through us, even through life’s disappointments. We choose to grow stronger, instead of bitter, when we have to say farewell to a precious dream.

Is it easy? Absolutely not.

Is it instant? No way.

But it is possible.

It is all a process of submission and leaning on the Lord for strength. We seldom remain unchanged when working through the death of a dream. The question to ask ourselves is this:

Will I become more like Christ or will I cave in to my bitter, hopeless feelings?

Paul tells us that all is loss, when compared to knowing Christ. I can’t honestly say that I feel that way all of the time but my goal is to grow to that place where I can say along with Paul:

Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ (Philippians 3:8).

And so we remember, once again, that we are a tiny speck on the timeline of the universe. Smaller than a speck of dust. And we remember that God is God. He can see the whole timeline. And so we move forward, knowing that God is with us–even through the death of our dreams.

6 reasons to be thankful when following a (very) slow driver

6 Comments / June 14, 2012 November 4, 2017

This week I have found myself behind a plethora of slow drivers. They have included white-haired grandpas, distracted businessmen on cell phones, a new teen-aged driver, and even a granny on a motorcycle. After about the 10th time of being forced to go 10 (or 15!) miles per hour under the speed limit, I figured the Lord may be trying to teach me something. So I started thinking of reasons why I could actually be thankful for the slow (and, if I am honest, aggravating) driver ahead of me.

1. I am receiving a lesson in patience. Oh, how long will it take me to learn it? My brother once wisely said, “I refuse to let a slow or annoying driver steal my peace.” I find myself thinking of his words often.

2. I am enjoying treasured extra moments with my kids. Tonight while driving home at a snail’s pace, we talked about what to look for in a husband, what to do when our friends don’t agree with us, and why kids should go to youth group. We learn so much about each other and have wonderful conversations in the car. Slow drivers give us a few more of those special minutes.

3. I am receiving a lesson in time management. I am sure I am the only one who does this, but I have a bad habit of leaving my house without time to spare. If it takes 15 minutes to get where I am going and I need to be there at 7pm, I leave at 6:45pm. This adds considerable stress to my life if I find myself behind someone who is going really slow. I have not included this lost time in my calculations and it means I may be late! This lesson is having a difficult time making its way into my hard head!

4. I have the opportunity to listen to a podcast or uplifting music for a little while longer. We are so blessed with having wonderful Bible Teachers and hymns and worship music at the touch of a button. Does anyone remember the days when you had to move the record needle back to the song if you wanted to hear it twice? And the interminable waiting for our favorite songs or programs to come on the radio? I would even arrange my schedule around what time Focus on the Family was on the radio. Now we can choose our favorite song or preacher and worship while we lollygag behind the unhurried driver in front of us.

5. God may be protecting me from an accident up ahead. We can rest in His Sovereign plan that He knows best. And since He knows when a sparrow falls, He certainly knows my current situation.

6. Perhaps these few extra minutes are a gift to me for prayer and meditation on God’s Word. But instead, in my frustration, I usually end up fretting and fussing them away.

I wrote this list to help me personally. You may have complete and total patience when driving or you may even be the slow driver! But, on the outside chance that one of my readers also struggles with this issue, I decided to post it. Have a great day!

Choosing our path…and then living with our choice

2 Comments / June 11, 2012 February 2, 2016

The other day I was taking a walk on a beautiful day. As I listened to my head phones, my dog was excitedly exploring from the end of her leash. It didn’t take me long to realize that my athletic sandals were not the thing to wear on a path filled with little stones. I would walk a few feet and a little stone would fly into my shoe, right under my heel. I would try to walk a bit, then I would sigh and stop to remove it. This played itself out several times over the course of my walk. The walk wasn’t as delightful as it could have been because of the shoes I had worn on the path of my choice. How could I have kept this from happening? It is quite simple : I could have chosen a) to walk a different path or b) to wear different shoes.

I think this may be something like marriage. To begin with, some of us get on a path we really shouldn’t be on. We choose to marry a person who isn’t a Christian. Oh, we may have thought they were a believer, but it turns out, they aren’t so sold out for Jesus, after all. We all have the opportunity to inspect our future path. If I marry this person, what will my life’s path look like? Will it be smooth, with just occasionally stony areas? Or will the whole terrain be filled with huge rocks that will feel impossible to get around? How do we know, you ask? Our pastor recently gave us four basic things to look for in a potential spouse.

1. The person needs to be saved. This isn’t just with their lips, but showing forth in their life’s choices, as well. (2 Corinthians 6:14)

2. The person needs to be spiritual. They should thirst for God’s Word and think on spiritual things. (Proverbs 12:7)

3. The person should show biblical love. Biblical love is selfless, kind, and forgiving. It is not self-seeking or rude. A good test to know if your future mate practices biblical love is to watch how they treat their parents or the waitress in a restaurant. (I Corinthians 13)

4. The person should show godly character. Lying, cheating, anger, greediness, drinking, laziness, nagging, immodesty, immorality are all red flags showing there will be some pretty big rocks ahead of you. On the other hand, self-control, joy, kindness, and generosity signal good things ahead. And just a note here…of course, no one is perfect. What if you find a great guy or girl that struggles with a sin issue like anger or laziness–does that totally discount them? Not necessarily. But ask these questions: Do they want to change? Do they admit that it is sin? Are they teachable? And we do need to realize that there will be stones in our path ahead because of these character issues. (Titus 2:1-8 and Galatians 5:16-23)

So this is all well and good for those of you who haven’t gotten married yet. But what about those of us who chose our path long ago? It is too late for us to take all of this into consideration now. We have committed to this path and the Bible tells us to stay on it (which is quite opposed to what our culture tells us, by the way). So if we find ourselves already on a path that is a bit stony, it is time to take a look at our footwear.

Just like wearing the appropriate footwear can keep us protected on a stony path in real life, so we can be appropriately attired for our rocky marriage path. Here are a few ways that will clothe us properly and help our marriages, no matter what kind of path we find ourselves on:

1) Dedicate some time to our inward beauty. Many of us do not think twice to spend money on our hair, our nails, or to go to the gym. We spend hours shopping for just the right clothing and preparing our hair. But how much time do we spend fixing up our “inside”? Are we putting into practice what we hear the preacher say at church? Are we reading books that help us to grow spiritually? Are we listening to podcasts that challenge and convict us in our walk with Jesus? (I Peter 3)

2) Focus on our own need for change. This one is really important. Most of us try to change our husbands. We do this in a variety of ways, including nagging and cold shoulders. But I ask you: has any method to change your husband ever been effective? In my case, the answer is no. I have been very convicted of this, as of late. I have to worry about me. Are my responses and reactions godly? Am I being the wife I should be? Do I need to change? If I am honest, my response to that question has to be a resounding YES, I do need to change. I have much growing to do. And so I continue to be challenged to work on me and pray about the areas in which I think my husband should change. I serve a great God…I can trust Him to work in my husband’s life. And He will! He is faithful! I have personally experienced this many times. It is sad that I so easily forget! (Proverbs 21:9)

3) We need to submit to our husband’s leadership. This isn’t popular or easy to do. But God tells us this in several different passages, so it must be important. Each home has different challenges in this area. Some homes have a man who willingly gives up his leadership to his wife. But that is not God’s plan, so we need to turn that around. Other homes are filled with fireworks, because the husband and the wife both tend to be very opinionated and vocal. But when push comes to shove, the husband should make the final decision. It isn’t always easy for the wife but this is the way clearly commanded in scripture. And then there are other homes where the husband is a natural leader and the woman a born follower and she has a difficult time giving any opinion. Wherever we find ourselves in this scenario, it is very clear from scripture where we should be. We have a responsibility, as wives, to do our part in this area. (Ephesians 5:22-32)

Marriage is tough, isn’t it? No matter how wisely we choose our spouse, we will all have some stony areas, and even big rocks, to navigate around. First and foremost, we need to use great wisdom in choosing our path. My very wise husband often tells our children that their choice of spouse will either make for a wonderful life or a very difficult life. They get to choose.

But after that is all behind us – and, for most of us, it is – we need to appropriately attire ourselves so that we are pleasing the Lord and making our marriage the very best it can be!

Defining Legalism

12 Comments / June 7, 2012 March 1, 2020

I don’t think I can actually count the amount of times I have been labeled a “legalist” in the last 30 years. So I have had to do a little soul-searching through the years. Am I a legalist? Is that label appropriate for me and my family because we stand for what the Bible teaches? The following is what I discovered.

First and foremost, legalism is the belief that you have to do something in order to be reconciled to God.

Dictionary.com gives this definition officially:

Legalism– the doctrine that salvation is gained through good works.

This goes completely against scripture where it clearly states in Ephesians 2:8 For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.

Clearly, we are not saved by our own works and if I believed that we were, then I would be a heretic officially. So do I adhere to the doctrine of legalism? Certainly not!

But if Christianity is made up of just saying a prayer asking the Lord to “come into your heart”, then what is the cost? Why wouldn’t everyone take this “fire insurance” from hell?

It is because Christianity is more than a prayer. With true belief comes sacrifice. With true belief comes a desire to grow in holiness and purity. And this is where we get confused.

You see, I don’t think I should have high standards and keep myself separate from the world to be saved. I believe I should have high standards and keep myself separate from the world because I am saved.

All Christians agree that we should love each other and help the poor. There is no argument there, so let’s talk about this separation from the world thing a bit more.

If scripture clearly teaches that we are to be separate from the world, that we are to desire to grow in holiness and purity, the question becomes not: “what am I allowed to do?” but, instead, “why would I want to?”

The more mature we grow in Christ, the less we should actually desire to see two people fornicating on a movie screen, or listen to a song about the ecstasy of drug use, or hear the crude language of our friends. It is not “Can I?”… It becomes “I don’t desire to.”

It is true that all believers are at a different point in their Christian growth. I remember a friend who had no problem wearing a bikini as a college student. I have no doubt that she was saved but, in the area of immodesty, she was blind. However, as she has grown as a believer, she has seen that immodesty does not please the Lord, and has since changed not only how she dresses personally but how she and her husband allow their daughters to dress, as well. We all have blind spots in our walks with God. This is not about pointing fingers.

And while it is not our job to place rules on others, it is our place to stand for what is right and wrong. Here in America, there seems to be a race going on as to who can call themselves Christians and still be the most worldly. Holding to absolutes is frowned upon, not only in the world, but even in our churches. Everything has become wishy-washy and up for grabs. But I want you to know that we serve a God of absolutes! Yes, He is loving and He has shown us grace and mercy. But He is also just and He hates sin. He stands for what is right and wrong and I am to do no less.

If God makes it clear in His Word that He hates adultery, fornication, strife, orgies, drinking parties, drunkenness, crude and profane language, lewdness, taking His name in vain, sorcery, and immodesty then why in the world would we even desire to make any of that a part of our life- whether by actually doing those things, or by wasting our precious time watching movies, listening to music, playing video games, or reading things filled with these things God hates?

You see, being a Christian is a sacrifice. It is not some fun journey we are on to find our personal purpose in life and live however we want with the promise of heaven. Christianity is hard. We are going to be hated in this world – not loved. Jesus was persecuted and we should expect no less (Matthew 5:10-12; John 15:18-20; 2 Timothy 3:12). Standing for the Truth is not for cowards. It will mean great sacrifice. In America, we are fortunate – it doesn’t mean losing our homes, or prison, or death. But it can possibly cost us jobs, relationships, and our reputations.

I write all of this with a humble heart, knowing I have much growing to do in my own Christian walk…knowing that I am blind, too, in areas that are not pleasing to my heavenly Father. These blind spots are why it is so very important that we regularly confess our sins, study God’s Word, and ask the Lord to help us walk in the Spirit. We need to continually be checking our desires, our thoughts, and our longings (2 Corinthians 13:5). Are they in tune with the works of God or the works of the flesh? May we desire to be in tune with God and keep working towards this goal until the day we die. Not to be saved…but because we are saved.

Always Looking

3 Comments / June 4, 2012 June 26, 2023

My husband and I were sitting in a Texas Roadhouse eating dinner on Friday night. Three out of four of our kids’ planned activities had been cancelled so we invited them to come with us. We knew it would end up being a rather expensive evening, but it had been a long week, so we decided to splurge.

Just as we were getting ready to ask for the check, our waiter came up and informed us that an anonymous party had paid for our meal. Can I tell you that that was the nicest surprise we have had in a very long time? Nothing like that had ever happened to us before. We have our suspicions about who it was, but we will never really know…but isn’t that a nice thing not to know? It made us feel special just that someone would do that for us.

The next morning, I was getting a few groceries when I was distracted by a distressing phone call. My thoughts left grocery-shopping and went in a completely different direction. I hurried to get my few things and checked out. As I grabbed my bag and started heading to my car, two young men were walking toward me. One of them shouted, “Hey, you forgot your milk!” I looked back. Sure enough, there sat my gallon of milk in the cart. After giving my heartfelt thanks for saving me some extra hassle on that busy day, I went back and got my milk.

The next afternoon we had lunch at my in-laws because she knew I was having a party at my house later that day that was going to take some time to prepare for and she didn’t want me to have to cook lunch. So after church, we headed there for a quick lunch, where I didn’t have to cook or clean up after a meal for my family.

So what do all of these things have in common? All of these people saw something and then acted upon it. They saw a neat opportunity to surprise someone…a way to save a lady some time…and a daughter-in-law that needed some extra help. I am so grateful to those who were so kind to me.

And I wonder if I am so observant? Do I see needs in the lives of others and then act upon them? Or am I so caught up in my own world that my focus is stuck “inward” at all times?

Am I so set on my shopping list, that I don’t notice the little old lady who is starving for conversation?

Am I so wrapped up in my busy schedule, that I don’t have time to help my neighbor with their project?

Am I so engrossed in my own conversation, that I don’t bother to give a smile and word of encouragement to a distressed mom in the restaurant?

You see, as believers, we are called to think outside of ourselves at all times. Jesus said, “And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise.” (Luke 6:31). Do we realize that this doesn’t mean just on Sundays or just on mission trips or just when we feel like it? This is a command that should dominate our every moment. We should always be looking for ways to bless, encourage, and help others…just as we long to be blessed, encouraged, and helped.

This is so difficult for me, because I have my own life and problems to worry about. And yet, ironically enough, when I stop thinking about me and my own problems, I am so much happier! It doesn’t seem like it should be that way, but it is true. When I live in my own self-centered little world I am unhappy, dissatisfied, and unpleasant to be around but when I think outside of me I feel like I am being of some use to my Heavenly Father and I feel content.

So let’s open up our eyes and see where we can be of some encouragement and meet some needs. Let’s take our focus and turn it outward. Let’s always be looking for ways to bless others!

Facing the Music

Leave a Comment / May 31, 2012 May 31, 2012

A few months ago we were forced to get a new washer. I actually was fine with that, as I had hated my front loader from the day we got it. When I went shopping for a new washer I knew I wanted a top loader. I found a great washer but what they didn’t tell me in the store is that when the load is finished, I get to hear a little song. Not a buzzer or a bell, but a sweet (and rather annoying) little song.

The pleasant tune will play faithfully, not minding what I am doing–I can be in the middle of baking bread or writing or cleaning a closet. If the washer cycle is through, I will hear that song. And if I am going to have clean, fresh-smelling laundry I need to go to my washer as soon as I hear that song. Sometimes I am busy and I forget. Sometimes I am lazy and I think I will do it later and then forget. Or sometimes I am not home. But if I don’t “face the music”, the next time I go to my washer, I will have a musty smell coming from my washer and end up having to wash the same load all over again (have you ever done that or is it just me??)

Sounds a little bit like life, doesn’t it? Sometimes we hear an annoying little song in our relationships. They are warning signs we shouldn’t ignore, perhaps a husband who won’t talk to his wife, a wife who doesn’t like to spend time at home, a child that throws tantrums on a regular basis, a teen that hangs with the wrong friends, just to name a few. These signs signal us that there is a problem that we need to take care of. But we are often too busy or too lazy to worry about it. Or perhaps we have already checked out of the relationship and find ourselves indifferent (this is especially true in marriages and friendships).

Of course, oftentimes, we just aren’t sure what to do so we do nothing. I know exactly what to do when I hear the little song in my washer. I go to the washer and I move the wet laundry from the washer to the dryer. But relationships aren’t always so cut and dried, are they?

But one thing that is for sure: that annoying song probably won’t go away on its own. And it will probably get louder. Every divorce started with small steps in the wrong direction. Most rebellious teens showed signs years before the rebellion occurred. Most friendships showed signs of wear before a break was completely made.

Just like my washer cannot be ignored, neither can our relationships. We have a responsibility to do all we can to mend broken relationships. We need to look at ourselves – how do I need to change? We need to do all we can personally do to fix the problem. And all the while, we need to be committing it to prayer on a regular basis. It can be a painful, torturous process, but the reward is so worth it!

Let’s take necessary steps to do what we can to heal the problems we see in our relationships. Sure, we are only ever half of the equation. But we are half! Have a blessed day as you face the music in your life!

2 Thessalonians 3:13 But as for you, brethren, do not grow weary in doing good.

Replacing “What If” with “What Is”

Leave a Comment / May 29, 2012 November 26, 2014

All of us, at one time or another, have said “what if?” What if I had never taken this job? What if I had moved sooner? What if I hadn’t bought this lemon of a car? What if my mom and dad wouldn’t have been abusive? What if I had raised my kids better? What if a certain person hadn’t died? What if I was a movie star…or professional sports athlete…or music performer? There is no end to the “what ifs” in life. We all have at least a few.

But we don’t have “what if”. We only have what IS. I actually heard that statement on Adventures in Odyssey (find this wonderful series here) the other day and it really struck me. You see, I had been saying “if only” about a particular issue in my life fairly frequently lately. I wish I would have done something in the past and I didn’t do it. So now what? Can I go back and change it? Can I change any consequences of my past decision? Can I wave a magic wand and make everything all better? Of course not.

So, perhaps, it would be better to focus on the what IS. Instead of regretting the past, let’s be thankful we are no longer there and move on with God’s strength and guidance, thankful for the life lessons we have learned. Instead of wishing for a different life, let’s focus on the life we have and live it with enthusiasm and a grateful heart. Instead of wishing we didn’t live in a particular house or drive a particular car, let’s stop complaining and be content or take the necessary steps to buy something that suits our family better.

Through it all, we need to be examining our hearts. Should I even want a better car or house? Why do I want to be a movie star? What am I so upset about the past? We may even find out that our desire isn’t from God, but from our own selfish motives. However, oftentimes, it isn’t about anything like that, but instead it is frustration at something we did or didn’t do and we cannot now go back and change. Or we are grieving and lost and lonely because of something that happened outside of our control. So what about that?

Let’s try to focus on possible good that has come because of unfavorable circumstances. Perhaps a friendship grew out of a mutual desire to live a frugal life because of a lack of income. Or someone came to know the Lord because you delayed in making that decision to leave your job as soon as you believe you should have. Maybe you came to know the Lord because of your abusive background. Only God can see how the consequences and circumstances have changed not only your life, but the lives of others, as well.

We can only live our lives and make decisions based on what we know (which is why it is so important to know scripture!) and then we need to leave the rest up to God. He, in His sovereignty, will guide us and we need only to submit ourselves to His will for our lives. After that step, then we need to make the best of wherever it is we find ourselves in life. Instead of living with regrets, let’s live with a passionate commitment to Christ and a heart of gratitude. Let’s be devoted to making the very best of where we find ourselves right now– at this very moment.

Instead of focusing on what IFs, let’s focus on what IS.

Are you really saved?

8 Comments / May 24, 2012 July 24, 2023

I have a great fear that in this day and age of “easy-believism” there is a trend to blindly consider ourselves saved and then to continue living our sinful, selfish, and worldly lives without ever changing at all. But if our life has not been transformed or changed in any way are we even really a believer? The testimony found below would indicate that we probably are not saved if this is the case. Spiritual growth happens at different paces and in a multitude of ways– but it always happens in the lives of those that are saved.

Last week a college friend e-mailed me to say “hello”. I hadn’t heard from him personally for some time, but my brother (a good friend of his) had shared his amazing testimony with me a few years ago. This young man had grown up in Christian family and spent all of his life attending church. He attended Christian school and even a Christian college. He was a “good” guy. He thought he was saved but then the Lord, in His amazing grace and mercy, showed Him that he was not. I asked him if I may share his story with you. He kindly said, “yes” and e-mailed me this:

I professed to be a Christian at the age of six years old. My parents had been taking me to church since I was born, and continued taking me as long as I was under their roof. My parents sacrificed to send me to the Christian schools all but three years of my elementary and high school education. I attended two years at Grace College. When I applied at Grace, I was asked if I was a Christian. I assured them I was. I went on a short term mission trip with 59 other high school age kids when I was 17. Again, one of the questions to get on this mission team was if I was a Christian. I assured them I was. I met a wonderful young woman at Grace. When I went to pick her up for the first time at her house, her father grilled me in concern for his daughter. The first question he asked me is if I was a Christian. I assured him I was. Before this young lady went out with me for the second time she asked me if I was a Christian. I assured her I was. After being married for a while she continued to ask me at various intervals if I really was a Christian. Time after time I assured her I was. There were many times during my life that I asked myself that same question: was I a Christian? I assured myself I was. After all, I grew up in the church. I walked up the aisle at church and said that I wanted to ask Jesus into my heart. I was baptized, twice. At each and every step in my life my spiritual state was questioned and I always answered the same: “Of course I am!”

I mentioned that my wife repeatedly asked me if I was a Christian after we were married. She did this because she saw things in my life that seemed contrary to what a Christian is. The biggest thing she saw in my life was apathy towards God. When I sat down in church, as soon as the singing was over I settled down for a nap. I never read the Bible on my own. She never saw me praying. Most of my actions and behavior growing up and after marriage screamed that I was unsaved. In thirty-three years of claiming to be a Christian there was absolutely no growth, no good fruit. How could this be? How could someone claiming to be a Christian for over thirty years have nothing to show for it?

I want to tell you today that the reason there was no good fruit in my life and the reason I was totally apathetic and bored with Biblical things was because I was not a Christian. The knowledge of who Jesus Christ was never made it to my heart. I knew many things about Him. I wanted Him as my Savior, to keep me out of hell. I wanted all the benefits of being a Christian. But I refused to put Jesus as the Lord of my life. I did not serve Him. I did not love Him. I loved myself. I served my sinful desires. Matthew 6:24 says, “No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.” Matthew 7:18-23 is a passage that really wakes a person up. It says, “A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus by their fruit you will recognize them. Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord’, will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophecy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me you evildoers!’

I was a bad tree because I bore no good fruit. Every aspect of my life was bad fruit. But just a few short years ago, when things were getting really bad in my life, I realized that all my fruit was bad because I was not saved. At that moment I turned my life over to Jesus, asked Him to forgive all those years I did things in His name, but in actuality was an evil doer. I asked Him to heal my broken life and help me to love Him with all my heart, mind, strength, and soul. The apathy left me immediately. From that moment on I have loved reading, hearing, and talking about my Savior. Making Jesus my Lord meant that everything I did was with Him in mind. See, I had always believed the basics of the Bible, but we are told that even demons believe, and tremble. All those years, though I believed what the Bible said, I had been a slave to my sinful self, a slave to sin, but now I am a slave to my Savior Jesus Christ. So now I can truly call Him my Savior and Lord.

You see, being a Christian is not just growing up in the church, being good most of the time, doing things in the name of Christianity, and even believing what the Bible says. It is a personal relationship with Jesus. It is loving His name. It is serving Him. And it is longing to be with Him. For years I had a list of things that I wanted to do before going to heaven. But now there is nothing in this world that I desire more than to be with Jesus for all eternity.

I want to thank my friend, Trent, for allowing me to share his testimony with you. He became saved over five years ago now and his thirst for God increases each day. His whole life has changed because he is now truly born again!

Do you yearn to know God more? Are you growing in your knowledge of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ? Do you love the things He loves and hates the things He hates? Are you serving God or are you serving yourself? This is a great day to take an honest look at yourself. Are you really saved?