growing in christ – Page 36

The lemon that never grew up

Leave a Comment / February 28, 2013 February 28, 2013

I have this Meyer lemon tree that is actually still living and it’s been almost a year. I am not known for my indoor green thumb (it only works outdoors) and so no one is more surprised than me that the tree is still alive.

But here is the strange part: do you see that lemon hanging off the tree that looks a lot like a lime? That thing has been hanging there since last fall. The plant blossomed profusely but only one baby lemon started growing. It kept growing and growing and then one day it just stopped. And it has looked like this –like a lime–for the last six months at least.

I know I have to cut it off. I am sure it is taking valuable nutrients from the plant. But I just hate to do it.

I wonder if there are a bunch of us Christians walking around half-ripe? We never mature. We just hang on to the vine, taking valuable nutrients and energy from the other lemons.

Of course, not growing up is a popular thing to do in this country. Just watch any sitcom on TV where you will find men portrayed as video-game-playing, crude, joke-cracking boys stuck in their teens. They need their wives to guide and direct them to be responsible. What a bunch of nonsense!

Women, on the other hand, are the focus of the commercials where we are conditioned to believe that growing up — growing mature — is bad. Looking young is the ultimate goal. Products line the shelves that help keep the wrinkles at bay and the gray hair covered.

And, maybe unknowingly, this has transferred to the Church, where so many of us have no interest in growing up.

Paul compares immature Christians to babies who are still on milk (Hebrews 5:12-14). These Christians should be eating meat, but they are still drinking only milk. Instead of being the teacher, they still need to be taught.

If we choose to remain half-ripe or immature, a few consequences take place that are worth some consideration:

1) We are never able to glorify God in the way that we should.

2) We set a terrible example for our children.

3) We rob the Church of precious energy that should be poured into new babes in Christ.

So how do we grow up? I really only know of one way: Read and study the Word of God. While this is a simple thing to do, there are some principles to follow in our study.

1) Read it in context, not pulling verses out from everywhere to fit our own personal situation.

2) Find a good, traditional commentary or Bible Study guide to help (I highly recommend the resources at Grace to You).

3) Listen to solid, biblical preachers, not only in church, but also on podcast or mp3. (Both Grace to You and Truth for Life are filled with mp3s available to listeners at no charge. They are invaluable resources for helping me understand difficult passages. )

4) We need to have the proper heart attitude. We need to approach our study with humility and a willingness to change. If we approach God’s Word with pride and arrogance, we will not grow. If we approach God’s Word with a selfish heart, we will not grow.

5) We can’t expect to fill our hearts and minds with everything God hates for 12 hours a day (music, books, tv, movies, talk radio) and then expect to grow because we read the Bible for 30 minutes. Discernment is critical.

I wish I could shout to the whole Christian world the importance of studying God’s Word. So many of us don’t do it. Some of us know we should but we just don’t make time. Some of us don’t even try–after all, we have our fire insurance. And some of us languish in the world of half-page devotionals with one verse, never venturing into the true study of God’s Word. Don’t get me wrong–there is nothing wrong with devotionals. They just should never replace actual study of God’s Word.

And, so, the choice to grow past the half-ripe stage is up to us. Are we going to hang onto the branch, never ripening, like that lemon of mine or are we going to take ownership of our spiritual health and grow up?

A.W. Tozer puts it better than I ever could: “Why do some persons “find” God in a way that others do not? Why does God manifest His presence to some and let multitudes of others struggle along in the half-light of imperfect Christian experience? Of course, the will of God is the same for all. He has no favorites within His household. All He has ever done for any of His children He will do for all of His children. The difference lies not with God but with us.”

Wednesday Wisdom: This World– Playground or Battleground?

Leave a Comment / February 27, 2013 February 27, 2013

This excerpt from A.W. Tozer needs no introduction. It is profound (as usual) and the truth of it rings in my ears. The frightening and serious ramifications of modern Christianity’s wrong view of the world are becoming more and more evident each day.

Things are for us not only what they are—they are what we hold them to be. That is to say, our attitude toward things is likely in the long run to be more important than the things themselves. This is a common coin of knowledge, like an old dime worn smooth by use, yet it bears upon it the stamp of truth and must not be rejected simply because it is familiar.

It is strange how a fact may remain fixed, while our interpretation of the fact changes with the generations and the years. One such fact is the world in which we live. It is here and has been here through the centuries. It is a stable fact, quite unchanged by the passage of time, but how different is modern man’s view of it from the view our fathers held! Here we see plainly how great is the power of interpretation. The world is for all of us not only what it is—it is what we believe it to be. And a tremendous load of woe or weal rides on the soundness of our interpretation.

Going back no further than the times of the founding and early development of our country, we are able to see the wide gulf between our modern attitudes and those of our fathers. In the early days, when Christianity exercised a dominant influence over American thinking, men conceived the world to be a battleground. Our fathers believed in sin and the devil and hell as constituting one force, and they believed in God and righteousness and heaven as the other. By their very nature, these forces were opposed to each other forever in deep, grave, irreconcilable hostility. Man, our fathers held, had to choose sides—he could not be neutral. For him it must be life or death, heaven or hell, and if he chose to come out on God’s side, he could expect open war with God’s enemies. The fight would be real and deadly and would last as long as life continued here below. Men looked forward to heaven as a return from the wars, a laying down of the sword to enjoy in peace the home prepared for them.

Sermons and songs in those days often had a martial quality about them, or perhaps a trace of homesickness. The Christian soldier thought of home and rest and reunion, and his voice grew plaintive as he sang of battle ended and victory won. But whether he was charging into enemy guns or dreaming of war’s end and the Father’s welcome home, he never forgot what kind of world he lived in—it was a battleground, and many were wounded and slain.

That view is unquestionably scriptural. Allowing for the figures and metaphors with which the Scriptures abound, it is still a solid Bible doctrine that tremendous spiritual forces are present in the world. Man, because of his spiritual nature, is caught in the middle. The evil powers are bent upon destroying him, while Christ is present to save him through the power of the gospel. To obtain deliverance he must come out on God’s side in faith and obedience. That in brief is what our fathers thought, and that, we believe, is what the Bible teaches.

How different today. The fact remains the same, but the interpretation has changed completely. Men think of the world not as a battleground, but as a playground. We are not here to fight; we are here to frolic. We are not in a foreign land; we are at home. We are not getting ready to live, but we are already living, and the best we can do is rid ourselves of our inhibitions and our frustrations and live this life to the full. This, we believe, is a fair summary of the religious philosophy of modern man, openly professed by millions and tacitly held by many more millions who live out that philosophy without having given it verbal expression.

This changed attitude toward the world has had and is having its effect upon Christians, even gospel Christians who profess the faith of the Bible. By a curious juggling of the figures, they manage to add up the column wrong and yet claim to have the right answer. It sounds fantastic, but it is true.

The idea that this world is a playground instead of a battleground has now been accepted in practice by the vast majority of fundamentalist Christians. They might hedge around the question if they were asked bluntly to declare their position, but their conduct gives them away. They are facing both ways, enjoying Christ and the world, gleefully telling everyone that accepting Jesus does not require them to give up their fun—Christianity is just the jolliest thing imaginable. The “worship” growing out of such a view of life is as far off center as the view itself—a sort of sanctified nightclub without the champagne and the dressed-up drunks.

This whole thing has grown to be so serious that it is now the bound duty of all Christians to reexamine their spiritual philosophy in the light of the Bible. Having discovered the scriptural way, they must follow it, even if to do so, they must separate themselves from much that they had accepted as real, but which now in the light of truth is seen to be false.

A right view of God and the world to come requires that we have a right view of the world in which we live and of our relationship to it. So much depends upon this that we cannot afford to be careless about it.

—Excerpt from This World: Playground or Battleground? by A.W. Tozer

My Compass in Uncharted Territory

2 Comments / February 25, 2013 February 25, 2013

After a busy, busy weekend, I was completely exhausted. I decided to turn on the TV. One of my favorite shows from the 90s was on. It was almost over, but I made myself comfortable and started to watch. I laughed at the family dynamics that are so part of any household.

One of the boys, on the cusp of teenager-hood, had done something really stupid. As the credits rolled, the parents joked about how their moms had wanted them to have kids just like them and now it had happened. It was funny and everyone was laughing.

But then the Dad said, “Seriously, what are we going to do?” He was wondering how they were going to handle this boy as he grew into an adult. The Mom put her arm around Dad and said, “Well, we just be the best parents we can be.”

I was immediately struck by what was missing. There was no God there. No power higher than themselves as they struggled through this journey of raising kids. They were relying on themselves alone. It made me feel empty….for them.

Oh, I know it was just a television show. But millions of parents around the world approach parenting this same way. They have no lifeline, no Helper, no power outside themselves.

I guess before seeing that little clip on TV, I had never thought about just how precious prayer is in the raising of our kids.

I mean I mess up–all the time. I am growing every day, but I still have such a long way to go. I can’t imagine approaching raising kids without a Heavenly Father to go to for comfort, for answers, and for grace.

Anything my kids are or will be is because of His grace.

We love our kids and we work so hard to raise them right. But, inevitably, we make mistakes and run into problems outside of our control.

But God is so faithful to answer prayer. Sometimes, it is not on our timetable. Sometimes, it hurts as we go through difficult days and nights of pain watching our kids make mistakes and paying the consequences of those mistakes. But we never stop praying for them and trusting God for their spiritual growth.

Because there is a Power outside of ourselves. The world will tell you that you are the power. That you can do anything, including raising your kids. You can do it alone and without help.

Well, I am here to tell you – even if that is true (and it’s not) – I wouldn’t want to.

How thankful I am that I don’t have to. I serve a God who cares about the smallest thing. I serve a God whom I can talk to when it looks like my child is moving away from Him. I serve a God who comforts me. I serve a God who is my compass when I am utterly and totally lost. My help comes from the Lord!

Psalm 33:20 Our soul waits for the Lord; He is our help and our shield.

Psalm 60:11 Give us help from trouble, For the help of man is useless.

Psalm 121:1-2 I will lift up my eyes to the hills, from whence comes my help? My help comes from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth.

7 Ways to be an Awesome Employee

2 Comments / February 21, 2013 February 21, 2013

My husband and I have owned a business for…well, I guess this May will be 26 years now. For most of those years we have had the pleasure–and aggravation– of being the “bosses”. While there are some advantages to being the “boss”, there are a few disadvantages, too. But we take our role seriously and truly desire to provide a good and pleasant place to work for our employees.

Some of those employees step up and are just an absolute joy to have with us, a few have been a nightmare, and then there is everything in between. But all of these people walking in and out of our doors for the last 26 years have given us a good idea of what makes a good employee. And, before I go any further, I want to state here very clearly, since a few of our employees may stumble upon this, this list is in no way directed at any of our current employees. We feel absolutely blessed right at this moment and thank God for it. Life changes and employee nightmares come and go, but for right now–at this moment– while life is never perfect, we are blessed and we know it.

But, that aside, if you are an employee, either full-time or part-time, you may be interested in knowing what the boss thinks makes a good employee. It may be different than you think.

Here are seven ways to become a beloved and invaluable employee for your boss–

1. Be willing to take the blame and admit your mistakes if you mess up and then step up to fix the problem in any way you can.

2. Be honest. Bring integrity to all of your communication with others. Don’t steal. And before you say you don’t, keep in mind that wasting time by talking too much or making personal calls or surfing the internet during work hours is stealing.

3. Be willing to learn new things and take on extra responsibility. Take initiative and step up to new challenges. Take the initiative and think outside the box when solving problems.

4. Be flexible. Things happen that are outside your boss’s control. When the bad stuff happens, good employees can help take the sting out of it by not getting so ruffled if the routine breaks a bit.

5. Be company-minded. Take ownership of your job. Treat equipment and spend money as if the company was your own.

6. Be respectful. It does not go over so well when you act like you know more than your boss. Of course, in this day and age this can get a little tricky -because sometimes you DO know more than your boss in certain situations. But even if you do, be respectful and kind in your communication — not condescending and arrogant.

7. Be friendly and courteous consistently to not only your bosses and managers, but also to your co-workers and the customers, always being willing to go the extra mile. Treat people kindly no matter your mood.

When one of our employees exhibits even a few of these qualities they become a very valued member of our team.

There are lots of verses in the Bible that talk about servants and masters, but when it comes to employees do these same principles apply? They probably do–

Colossians 3:22 — obey with sincerity, not as men-pleasers

Titus 2:9 – Be well-pleasing and don’t answer back

But, there is a flip side to this, isn’t there? God’s Word also gives instruction to masters that may well be applied to bosses–

Ephesians 6:9 — do not threaten and do not show partiality

Colossians 4:1--be just and fair

Soooo….I am curious. What are some ways to be an awesome boss?? I’d really like to know what you think and would be interested in your suggestions.

Wednesday Wisdom: Sentimental Love is Making Us Sick

4 Comments / February 20, 2013 June 6, 2016

This article was in the Wretched Radio Newsletter. What a great commentary on the modern definition of “love”, which resembles biblical love so slightly, they can hardly be called the same thing.

Sentimental Love is Making Us Sick

Sentimental love flows from the polluted well of postmodernism. Sentimental love is the offspring of moral relativism, which denies absolute truth. Sentimental love is not based on fact or truth, but on emotions.

What does sentimental love look like?

– You can’t make a woman keep a baby if she doesn’t want it.

– You can’t deny two men the joy of marriage if it makes them happy.

– You can believe whatever you want to as long as you believe it is true.

– Women should have equal rights, therefore, they should be allowed to go into military combat.

– If pot makes people happy, then we should legalize it.

While the world continues to define love predominantly as “sentimentality,” Christians are commanded to show agape love to both Christian and heathen alike. What is agape love? It is one of the four types of love described in the Bible.

1. Eros love: sensual, romantic love.

2. Philial love: brotherly love.

3. Storge love: familial love.

4. Agape love: self-sacrificing love.

Here is the rub; sentimental love is purely emotional, while agape love is based on what is true, right and good. In the world’s mind, sentimental love always trumps agape love. That is why your love for the world is so often received as hatred.

– Tell a woman that abortion is murder and you are waging war against her.

– Tell two men that gay sex is bad for them and you are intolerant.

– Tell women that combat is a man’s job and you are labeled a Neanderthal.

As the world continues to grow increasingly sentimental, we must continue to genuinely love them by telling them the truth. Even if they hate us for it.

I once was blind, but now I see!

1 Comment / February 18, 2013 February 18, 2013

Since my mother was a little girl she has been almost blind. She was quite unable to see or do much of anything without the aid of her eyeglasses. Somewhere during my childhood she got contact lenses and that made it more convenient. But the bottom line was that, unless she had some correction for her eyes, she only saw dark, undefined shapes.

But then a few months ago, she had the opportunity to get Lasik surgery. And I had the privilege of taking her to the appointment for her first eye. My daughter and I went for breakfast together while we waited for the surgeon to work his miracle in about an hour. When we returned we only waited for a few minutes before I was called back to see my mom in recovery.

As I entered the room I saw her sitting there with a clear bubble placed over her eye. She just kept saying, “This is amazing! This is amazing!”

Even with the bubble on, she could see incredibly clearly. She had gone from seeing only a dark, undefined, muddled world to seeing the whole world clearly!

What a great picture of what happens when we get saved. When we repent of our sins and are transformed by His glorious grace–only then are we given “spiritual sight”.

Matthew 13:16-17 puts it this way: “But blessed are your eyes for they see, and your ears for they hear;for assuredly, I say to you that many prophets and righteous men desired to see what you see, and did not see it, and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.“

While some things remain a mystery, we are given the gift of spiritual insight when we turn our lives over to Jesus Christ. Sure, it is not always an instant gift. But God gradually opens our eyes to the treasure of His Word and it becomes a bottomless well of wisdom and an incredible help for life.

But our unbelieving friends don’t understand. They mock us and they make decisions that destroy their lives and we just don’t understand why.

But if we stop and think for a moment, we do know why. They see darkly, unclearly. They don’t know what we do. And that means that, instead of harshly judging them, we should pray for them.

They are not living by the same rule book as you and I are. It seems so basic and yet we Christians seem to have a hard time understanding this.

If you got saved as an adult, you probably understand this so much better than me. You truly experienced a transformation. You know exactly what it means to live in blindness and then have your spiritual eyes opened upon your salvation. While I experienced a transformation as a child, it was much less dramatic.

This is why we should not point fingers of judgment at the world. They don’t get it. They really don’t. That is because they can’t SEE. They have not had spiritual surgery.

Today, let’s mourn–and pray– for our lost family and friends who are honestly unable to see the Truth. And let’s express our humble thanks to the Lord for this undeserved gift of spiritual sight. Only when we are saved can we understand these amazing words:

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound!

that saved a wretch like me

I once was lost, but now am found

Was blind, but now I see!

The Cardinal Rule of Confrontation

2 Comments / February 11, 2013 February 11, 2013

I was a little put out. One of my daughters had been one of the only children not invited to a birthday party among a group of my Christian friends. As I shared my irritation with a friend (mistake #1, I might add), she encouraged me to confront the other mother. After all, Matthew 18:15-17 says if we have a grievance we are to go to that person and share our offense.

But I dragged my feet. Was this a Matthew 18 issue? Sure I was upset. Yes, my daughter’s feelings had been hurt. But was this worthy of a confrontation? Had this mother really “sinned against me”?

Matthew 18 has to do with someone sinning against you. It is not about someone not inviting your child to a party, or your fellow committee member not liking your plan, or a friend bypassing you and turning to someone else for advice. It’s not about the coach not giving your child enough playing time or someone buying something you think they can’t afford.

Look, is there a place for some of these conversations? Absolutely. But not in the context of confrontation.

As I contemplated my situation all those years ago, I came to this conclusion about confrontation:

If I can pinpoint how this person has sinned (and therefore offended God) using scripture, then I need to consider biblical confrontation. If not, then it is probably wise to check my own heart and see if I am not the person who is sinning.

For example, going back to that party, I was offended. But why?

Because my daughter wasn’t important enough for the little girl to invite to her birthday party. Was that a sin on her mother’s part?

Nope. Not at all.

No, the sin was on me. My pride had been hurt and I was placing that before a godly relationship with a Christian sister. Oh, working through this didn’t come easy. But I have learned that if I am hurt or offended, it is wise to wait a few days and to spend some time in prayer, asking God to reveal the state of my heart.

Now, most of us prefer not to ever confront someone and so we ignore Matthew 18 altogether. Instead we gossip and mark the other person as our “un-friend”. We never give them another chance, but, instead, write them off for life.

But perhaps the same rule applies: Did the person really sin? Or did they simply offend me?

So many broken relationships. So many hurt hearts.

As much as it is up to us, we need to just get over it.

Life isn’t perfect. People aren’t perfect. Let’s move on in life. After all, we ourselves are not without our offensive moments, are we? And if there is sin, well, then we’d better obey scripture and confront in a biblical manner.

All these years later, I don’t think that other mother ever knew the hurt that resulted from that missing invitation. I worked through it and we continued our friendship like it never happened.

I have found this rule to be a great one to follow. But, of course, it only works if you are committed to not holding grudges in your heart. But that’s a subject for another day.

What would your biography say?

2 Comments / February 7, 2013 February 7, 2013

Over the weekend, we were at an away basketball game. While there, the visiting team held their senior night to honor the students that would soon be leaving them. They had each senior write a letter of dedication, thanking those who had encouraged them and giving words of advice to the teammates they were leaving behind. A few days later, a friend and I were discussing this and she made mention of these kids and their “obituaries”. As soon as she said it we both started laughing. Of course, she meant their dedications. It was a funny moment. But it did make me think…of course!

What if someone was going to write my obituary tomorrow? Or perhaps a biography about me? What would it say?

And, look, I am not talking here about curing cancer or breaking a world’s record or even giving gobs of money to a good cause.

No, I am thinking more along the lines of Galatians 5:22-23. The fruits of the Spirit. When I die will people be able to say they saw the fruits of the Spirit in my life?

Love. Joy. Peace. Patience. Kindness. Goodness. Faithfulness. Gentleness. Self-Control. Nine fruits that are evidences of God’s working in our lives.

Would any of them be mentioned in my biography (should anyone ever write one, which, of course, they won’t)? Do any of these come to mind when someone thinks about me?

It is a sobering thought, at least for me. I can see several on that list that are seriously lacking. Others that aren’t quite so bad, but still need much improvement. And ZERO that are perfect in my life and need no work at all.

This week I read these words about Puritan preacher, Matthew Henry (the guy who wrote the commentary many of us still use). This is what it says in his biography, written by Charles Chapman:

“[Matthew Henry] possessed the desirable disposition and power of looking on the bright side of everything….There was a loveliness in his spirit, and a gladness in his heart, which caused others to feel “how happy a thing it must be to be a Christian.” Though not given to indulgence he enjoyed the blessings of Providence of thankfulness…”

Hmmm…that begs the question: Do I cause others to think “how happy a thing it must be to be a Christian?”

And the thing that makes this so hard is that it isn’t characterized by a one-time deed or outward lifestyle. No, this kind of biography is built brick by torturous brick. Making the choice one moment at a time to deny ourselves and to instead yield our lives to our Savior. The smallest decisions are important, not only because they show the condition of our hearts, but because they are the bricks that build our lives.

You see, most of us won’t have lives characterized by being the President or creating some kind of new technology or even going on to the mission field to minister to cannibals. But we can have lives characterized by the fruits of the Spirit right here, right where we are today. Could there truly be anything that is more important than this if we are a Christian?

What would your biography say about you?

Wednesday Wisdom: 8 Symptoms of False Doctrine

2 Comments / February 6, 2013 December 17, 2022

It is almost unreal that what I am going to share today was written over 100 years ago. It sounds like it was written yesterday.

It is so incredibly applicable, that it almost feels prophetic. It was written by J.C. Ryle (who is an excellent author, by the way!)–

Many things combine to make the present inroad of false doctrine peculiarly dangerous.

1. There is an undeniable zeal in some of the teachers of error: their “earnestness” makes many think they must be right.

2. There is a great appearance of learning and theological knowledge: many fancy that such clever and intellectual men must surely be safe guides.

3. There is a general tendency to free thought and free inquiry in these latter days: many like to prove their independence of judgment, by believing novelties.

4. There is a wide-spread desire to appear charitable and liberal-minded: many seem half ashamed of saying that anybody can be in the wrong.

5. There is a quantity of half-truth taught by the modern false teachers: they are incessantly using Scriptural terms and phrases in an unscriptural sense.

6. There is a morbid craving in the public mind for a more sensuous, ceremonial, sensational, showy worship: men are impatient of inward, invisible heart-work.

7. There is a silly readiness in every direction to believe everybody who talks cleverly, lovingly and earnestly, and a determination to forget that Satan often masquerades himself “as an angel of light” (2 Corinthians 11:14).

8. There is a wide-spread “gullibility” among professing Christians: every heretic who tells his story plausibly is sure to be believed, and everybody who doubts him is called a persecutor and a narrow-minded man.

All these things are peculiar symptoms of our times. I defy any observing person to deny them. They tend to make the assaults of false doctrine in our day peculiarly dangerous. They make it more than ever needful to cry aloud, “Do not be carried away!”

~ J.C. Ryle

The Death of a Friendship

8 Comments / February 4, 2013 June 11, 2013

This post has been sitting in draft mode for at least six months. It is rather difficult to post because of the very vulnerable feelings I have chosen to share. I have also hesitated to post it because I don’t want anyone to think that I am pointing a finger at my old friend. I’m not. However, because I have talked to so many other women who have gone through similar situations, I felt I must share this sometime. That time is today. I hope that there is at least one other person out there who receives comfort and hope from reading what I am going to share.

So here we go–

“This friendship is taking too much work and I just can’t deal with you right now,” were the icy words issuing forth from the mouth of my best friend of fifteen years.

I felt my heart sink deep within as I tried to comprehend her words. I knew that our friendship was on rocky ground, which was why I had requested we meet together over coffee. However, I never expected to be so fully dismissed and rejected in the fell swoop of one sentence.

This woman and I had shared a kindred spirit that many other women envied. We had cried together over our children, she had been there for me through a difficult miscarriage, and I had supported her through a painful time in her marriage. We had discussed our passion for God and living a godly life in countless phone conversations and during dozens of play dates.

As the weeks, and then months, went by I realized that she was serious. Our friendship was completely and utterly over. She had rejected me with an entirety that was astonishing.

All these years later I continue to look back on that moment with bewilderment and hurt. But God also used it to teach me some very important lessons.

I discovered that He never changes. While men and women on earth change constantly, God is the rock that will never move. I can trust Him wholly and completely with my life. Oh, what a comfort in the midst of difficult days!

I learned to trust in God’s sovereignty in all areas of my life. As I reflect back on the final two or three years of that friendship, I realize that it had been draining me of precious energy instead of building me up. Perhaps she felt that way, too, and had the courage to just end it instead of letting it die a long, torturous death. Perhaps God was protecting both of us from further hurt down the road. Whatever the reason, I learned that I must believe that my heavenly Father knows best and rely on His plan, rather than my own.

And God taught me that wherever there is love, there is also great risk for hurt. But I also learned that He will walk with me through that hurt. I had loved deeply and I had been hurt deeply. For awhile afterwards, I held myself at arm’s length from everyone but my family. But over time, I realized that God wasn’t teaching me never to love again but instead that He will be there for me when the inevitable hurt comes around. And choosing to love, if we are believers in Jesus Christ, isn’t an option but a command.

He also taught me that my worth is found in Him alone. I don’t know if you have ever experienced such utter rejection, but I found it the most devastating, empty feeling I have ever experienced. Even now, all these years later, when I think on it, I still feel the sting of it. The tendency is to start making assumptions about yourself. I am a terrible person. I am a rotten friend. I must have done something just awful. God taught me to rest in Him. I wasn’t a perfect friend. I know that. But I have found forgiveness and acceptance from my heavenly Father. He is so faithful! He will never say that I am not worth the effort, but stays by me no matter what mistakes I make. What a comfort in a time of such complete and utter rejection.

And, lastly, I had no choice but to learn that some answers are never going to be available to me. I have come to understand that I will probably never truly know exactly why my best friend chose to end that friendship the way she did. For awhile, I hung onto the hope that we would have a good, long chat to air things out. I knew that the friendship would never be the same, but I was hoping for some insight into the situation. I now know that I need to relinquish my insatiable curiosity and move on with my life.

I will always remember that friendship with great fondness. God provided much needed support through that special friend and He gave me wonderful memories that I will treasure all of my life. I will also remember the friendship with great sadness. It was a tragic end to a beautiful relationship. But I know that God has taught me many things through this trial and for that I am deeply grateful. God knows best and I know that I can rely on Him to see me through even the hardest of times. He has proven this to me over and over again. I may never know why, but I rest in God’s plan and thank Him for helping me to forgive and move on with my life.

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