Encouragement – Page 26 – Growing 4 Life

Never Lost

Leave a Comment / June 19, 2014 June 19, 2014

I reached down into my pocket and felt nothing. Just to be sure I patted both pockets to make sure nothing was hiding in there. Nope.

Okay, so I must have laid it down. I started looking on all of the surfaces around me. Nothing.

I started looking underneath the chair I had been sitting on. And then lifted the cushion and ran my hands down the side cracks of the chair. I found a few other things, but not what I was looking for.

Where could I have left it?

The car!

I sometimes do leave my phone in the car, so I walked outside with a renewed sense of hope. I looked in the cupholder–it’s usual home in my car– to no avail. I looked beneath and between the seats. I looked outside the car on the ground. It was nowhere to be found.

I walked back into the house, now growing a bit frustrated–and a little panicky, if I’m honest. At this point, I am wondering if somehow it was stolen or was permanently lost. (I am also thinking about how I have become far too dependent on my phone–but that’s another story for another day).

As I rush around, my youngest daughter realizes that she, too, cannot find her phone. We are like two crazy people searching the house madly.

My other daughter gave a half-hearted effort to help us and then, a few minutes into it, said, “Have you tried ‘Find My iPhone’?”

Of course! Why didn’t I think of that?

I plugged my info into my iPad and there it came– up on the satellite. My iPhone was definitely somewhere on our property. It looked like it was outside somewhere. So now what?

I noticed the option to have my phone play a sound. That could help. I pressed the button and then listened. Nothing.

I walked towards the car because that is where I had last remembered having my phone. And, suddenly, I heard a wonderful, and yet annoying, sound coming from my car. So it was in the car. I opened the door and started looking around again, this time with certainty that what I was searching for would be found.

And there it was! It had slid underneath the center console and I hadn’t even thought to look there. Sometimes…

Meanwhile, in another part of the house, my daughters were finding the other lost iPhone, using the same method. That phone had become lost in the recesses of the new leather chair (by the way, yes, that’s the chair that I wrote about last week. We put it in the family room and I am now happily back in my old chair!)

You know…

We are kind of like iPhones. Stay with me here.

We can never really get lost.

Oh, we can be alone, somewhere far away, not knowing anyone, but we are never lost to God. He always knows where we are and nothing can separate us from His love and care (Romans 8:38-39).

We can be in our own homes, surrounded by loved ones and yet feeling so lost and lonely it hurts. But God knows and walks with us in those times (Isaiah 43:2).

He won’t leave us or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5).

God always knows where we are, even if we don’t always know ourselves!

I guess God can use even a lost iPhone to remind us of His precious promises.

The Messy Middle

Leave a Comment / June 17, 2014 June 17, 2014

Before I even begin this post I may as well just make a confession.

I do not excel at cleaning my house.

You know how you go into some homes and everything is so spotless that you don’t even have to look into the closets to just know that they are probably organized by color and size? The fact that you could eat from the floor gives pretty solid proof that their pantries probably do not hold any old boxes of crackers, a bag of chips with just a few crumbs remaining, or empty tasty-cake boxes?

Anyway, that’s not my house.

I am just not one of those women who is checking my pantry every day for empty boxes. I am not one of those women who is cleaning out my cabinets every week…er…month…or even year?? I confess, I just believe there are so many other important things to do!

If you are one of those women who keeps a really neat house, then your family is blessed! Many have been the–shall we call them discussions?– regarding my method of housecleaning. Now, I do want you to understand that I do not keep a hovel. My house is basically clutter-free and clean–at least the areas that you can see when you visit!

BUT if you look into any given cabinet or closet…well, just don’t do it, okay? It may be dangerous. I try to stay after them. I really do. But–like I said– there are so many other things to do and, with six “not-so-tidy” people living here, well, they quickly become disorganized again, anyway.

But yesterday, I decided to tackle my family room. I don’t think I had actually thoroughly cleaned the cabinets in that room for several years. They were therefore unusable. I had a basic idea what was in there, but knew I would probably find a few surprises, too. I also decided to change the furniture around to make for more seating and to clean out a few other baskets.

The messy middle came about 30 minutes into the project. This was exactly why I didn’t want to start in the first place! And why I had put it off for so long.

So. Much. Stuff.

What is this? What if I give this away and then I need it again later? What in the world does this cord belong to? Where is the case for this dvd? Why do we even have this dvd? If I haven’t read this magazine from last year, I wonder if I ever will?

While I was in the midst of all that clutter and stuff, which was spread all over my kitchen table and family room floor, one of the kids came in.

“Wow, this is a mess.”

Yes, I know. Thanks for telling me.

Another one came in.

“Whoa! What are you doing?”

?? Really? I thought it was obvious.

I started to get discouraged and overwhelmed. I would escape to my computer every 15 minutes or so to check e-mail and Facebook. Anything to escape the dreariness of what lay ahead. I did not want to finish this job. But it had to be done. For goodness’ sake, we couldn’t even eat a family meal until this job was finished.

And so, I finally made myself sit and work without any escape. I forced myself to finish the big job I had undertaken, even though I didn’t really feel like it.

After it was all done, I looked over my rearranged and clean family room with the satisfaction of a job well-done. It was so miserable in the middle, but the end result made it so worth it!

Oh, how true this is in so many areas of life! Raising kids can get very messy in the middle, can it not? Marriages can get pretty messy, too. As can extended family relationships, church situations, and job situations.

Oftentimes, we warily stand back, so fearful to address an issue. Sometimes we are just lazy. And sometimes we are just too busy. We just figure it will have to go away sometime. And, very occasionally, that does happen.

But, just like my messy cabinets weren’t going to disappear, most problems aren’t going anywhere, either. And just like the cabinets grew worse– more layers of dust, more stuff, more disorganization, so do our problems grow bigger and deeper. And so we need to face them head on and deal with them. And, YES, dealing with it will be messy and unpleasant and hard work. But we can’t give up in the middle. We have to keep going so that we can get to the other side.

And when we do, we will feel a peace and satisfaction that is comparable to little else this world has to offer.

The messy middle is no fun. That’s the truth, plain and simple. But the results are so worth it.

And now you know far more about me and my house-cleaning practices than I wish you did but don’t let it be said that I’m not willing to sacrifice my reputation for the Lord ;)

A Look Back

3 Comments / May 16, 2014 May 16, 2014

In just a few short weeks my oldest daughter will be getting married. My dining room is filled with boxes and wedding supplies as she prepares for her big day. She and her fiance are busy fixing up an old house they were able to purchase. It is fun to watch them together, as they work on wedding plans and prepare to start their new life together. But it is also frustrating because my daughter lives here and her stuff is here, but she isn’t really here. Know what I mean?

And I wondered how I felt the summer before my August wedding? Was I as in love? Were my parents frustrated with me?

But I didn’t have to just wonder. I could actually look back. Because, as you may already know, most writers journal. And so I have some kind of record of my feelings about life since about 5th grade. I have pulled out those journals every great once in awhile as I have raised my teen girls.

So a few nights ago I decided to pull out my journal from the summer of 1988. I had not read those words since I had written them. It was strange to read the words of my former self. I am the same person. And yet, I am not the same person.

In those pages, I read about events and relationship dynamics that I had totally forgotten. And guess what? I had some of the typical problems with my parents, too, as an adult living at home. Only I had a different perspective back then. I had not remembered any of that.

It was also interesting to see what I had written about my future husband and myself and the problems I anticipated us having as we headed off into marriage. And all these years later, I could see that I was right. They were the problems that we have faced over and over again in our marriage.

As I told my husband about my insight into our future as a 22 year old, he jokingly said, “well, I guess you shouldn’t have married me.”

But I can honestly say that never crossed my mind. I’d marry him all over again in a heartbeat. And so I responded, “If it wouldn’t have been those problems, then it would’ve been different ones.”

Yes, we have issues. Every marriage does. There is no perfect relationship. (Why do we think there will be? Could it be the romance novels we read? Or the chick flicks we watch? Why in the world are our expectations so high?)

But we work through them, one step at a time, with candor, forgiveness, a sense of humor, and total commitment.

And how gratifying to realize almost 26 years later, that we have made some progress. We are not the same people we were when I was writing all those years ago. We have changed and matured and become just a little bit more like Jesus as we have added years. Oh, those flaws flare up and still stare us both in the face sometimes, but it isn’t as often. And it isn’t as severe.

I don’t know if you have your life recorded in journals. If you do, why not pull one out and take a few moments and look back? See how far you’ve come. If you don’t, then just take a few moments and think about how far you’ve come. Whether you are 25 or 95, think about your past years. Has your marriage relationship improved over the years? Have you become more like Jesus? Praise the Lord if the answer is yes. The Holy Spirit is working to sanctify you, just as we believers are promised in scripture (I Peter 1:2). But if it is no, don’t despair! Start today to create a new future! One step at a time. It is never too late! (And remember, real and lasting change can only be found after our relationship with God has been made right. If you don’t know Him personally, please click here.)

Our future is created one moment at a time. We are given choices each and every day–we can choose our attitude, our responses, our reactions — and these small choices are what creates the person we will become.

I didn’t think so deeply back when I was writing that summer of 1988. I didn’t realize all of this. Now, looking back, I can see that the prayers of my parents and grandparents helped to keep me on the right track. So that’s my second point. Pray for your kids and grandkids. There is so much we don’t understand when we are young. And most of us don’t want to listen to anyone tell us about life. Let’s cover the young people we love with much prayer.

It was interesting to take a look back. And in some ways I’m jealous. Starting out in life sounds fun and exciting. But then I realize– I wouldn’t really want to go back and learn everything all over again. So, here I am, middle-aged and headed into the future. Still determined to become more like Jesus through the little choices I make every day. Failing daily, but always brushing myself off and starting over again!

Dealing with Difficult People

6 Comments / April 28, 2014 April 28, 2014

Have you ever had to deal with someone you just couldn’t make happy? Or perhaps it is someone who lies constantly, is consistently unkind, or very angry? Or maybe they just absolutely exhaust you by telling you all of their woes? Sometimes, if they are friends, we can gently extricate ourselves from these relationships. But, many times, we can’t. We may go to church together. Or we may work together. More often than not, our difficult relationships are within our own families.

So what then?

So often we continue to live with a sense of constant frustration in this state of affairs. When someone is affecting our personal peace or happiness, we can get really annoyed. But how should we look at these situations?

I have floundered in this area for years. If I was struggling in a relationship, I would grow irritated and hopeless. But then, a few months ago, I heard this sentence in a sermon–

We need to look at difficult people as the tools God uses to shape us to look more like Jesus.

Ever since that time, my whole viewpoint has changed. You see, I used to view these relationships as obstacles that were keeping me from looking like Jesus–unnecessary extra baggage that kept tempting me and causing me to fail (notice my finger of blame was pointed at them, not myself…)

But this one sentence clarified for me that I had it all wrong. ALL wrong. These people in my life are there to help, not hinder, my walk with Christ.

Because I have this new perspective, it changes everything. Oh, I still grow frustrated and annoyed, but I can see the big picture now. Instead of incidents seeming pointless and ridiculous, I see them as challenges I need to rise up and meet as Jesus would have.

I know this is so easy to say in principle. Some of you are almost buried underneath dysfunctional families or bad work situations. This isn’t an easy thing to live for any of us, but for some of you it probably feels impossible. I hope that this helps, at least a little.

You see, we can’t change anyone but ourselves. But, by the power of the Holy Spirit, we can change ourselves. Let’s rise up and meet the challenge of personal change instead of being so worried about the pointless, fruitless endeavor of changing the other person.

De-Sensitized

Leave a Comment / April 1, 2014 October 22, 2017

SO…I spent most of the past week battling some type of cold or flu. Not sure what it was, but besides making me all around miserable and even a permanent resident on my sofa for a couple of those days, it also made me lose all sense of taste and smell. While I can recall having bad colds and flus before, I cannot ever recall losing almost all sense of taste and smell. It’s actually really weird.

It first started with my morning coffee one day last week. It just tasted…off. I dumped it down the drain and tried a different k-cup. Maybe the first one was old. But, no, it was the same thing with the second cup. Coffee is usually one of the first things to go when I have a cold, so I wasn’t all that surprised. But then my fruit-infused water tasted off and basically anything I put in my mouth had no flavor. I could just barely taste salty and really sweet things.

I am still not tasting very well. It makes it very easy not to eat. Maybe someone should look into this for a new weight loss technique?

But, of course, as usual, it got me thinking. Why doesn’t anything taste good? Because I’m sick. Why can’t I smell anything? Because I’m sick.

And I started thinking over the years of my life and how my hunger for God’s Word has grown in the recent years. As a young person, I had a really hard time sitting down to read the Bible. And I wonder if I wasn’t a little like my physical body–so sickened spiritually by all the junk I was taking in or the sinful habits that had ensnared me, that I was de-sensitized to the beautiful, life-changing Word of God.

I think sometimes we wonder why God’s word doesn’t “taste” good to us (Psalm 119:103). We sit down and try to read it and we find it dry and boring. I have been there. But now I realize that it is me– not the Bible– that is the cause of my lack of interest.

If we are making a conscious effort to please God, with a humble heart and a deep desire to be holy, then, while we will make mistakes and still sin (obviously), God’s Word will fill a deep hunger inside us that will be nonexistent otherwise. And it will taste wonderful. Like life-giving water.

I’m still growing and still learning, so this is just a theory. I still have some days where I am reading the Bible and I grow disinterested or distracted. But, after this week’s experience, I may just take my spiritual temperature on those days because I know it is my problem.

You know I believe a very large part of the problem in the modern day church stems from biblical illiteracy. If we don’t know our Bibles we can not really even know God, we won’t be able to discern and defend truth, and we will fall prey to any wind of false doctrine that comes along. If Satan can trap us in a sinful habit or busyness or worldly entertainment, he knows it will diminish our hunger for the bread of life.

Wow. The things you can learn from being sick. I’ll just think about this while I sip my coffee that still tastes like…not much of anything. I am very much anticipating the return of my taste buds!

SEE–

2 Timothy 3:16

Hebrews 4:12

Psalm 119

James 1:21-22

But Why, God?

2 Comments / March 24, 2014 March 24, 2014

Something terrible happened over the weekend to a really nice family. I don’t know them all that well, but I do know that, from my purely human point of view, they certainly didn’t deserve this tragedy in their lives.

I found myself really questioning the goodness of God as I tried to sort through all of this in my mind. Bad things happen to godly people. We know this is a fact of life. And, yet, sometimes, it just hits us and our spirit cries out to the Lord, asking “But why, God?”

It wasn’t that I was questioning Him. I know (in my head) that He is good all the time. And I know that He loves this family and that hasn’t changed because He has allowed this tragedy in their lives. But my heart was having a really hard time wrapping itself around the why. What good purpose could this possibly have?

I don’t have the answer to that. Just like good purposes and lessons learned do not always show forth through the hard moments and difficult times in my own life, I may never know why this family has suffered so.

But God knows. I try to remember that He sees the whole tapestry, while I only see a tiny speck of it. One tiny dot in the scope of all of time in the whole world. I can’t help but realize that I really know nothing and should not judge God based on my very limited perspective.

As I was pondering all of this, I just “happened” to read the following in a *fiction book I am reading–

“See, typically we measure goodness by whether we like something or not. I like this, so it’s good. I don’t like that, so it’s not good. We can do this with God, pretty easily, in fact. If He does something we like or agree with, then He’s good. If He does something or allows something we don’t like, we’re not so sure anymore. We won’t usually say it out loud; that would be impolite. But we can go there in our hearts. And once we do, we start to pull away from the Lord . Do you think that could have happened here?”

And this–

“God doesn’t just do good, Shawn. He is good. His goodness flows from his very nature. Because we don’t always understand what He’s doing, some of it doesn’t seem good to us. But that’s where our faith comes into play. We must believe, as Paul says, that God is working all things together for our good. In time, His goodness and good purposes will become clearer to us. But it can take time.”

Wow. A sermon to me right in the middle of a novel, just when I needed it. And people say there is no personal God? I beg to differ.

Of course, that last sentence — about His purposes becoming clearer in time–while that is sometimes true, it isn’t always true, is it? Sometimes we will never find out this side of heaven.

But how convicted I was by that first thought— Wasn’t I judging God’s goodness based on my perception of what is good? Only God knows the ramifications of any tragedy. He knows whose hearts will be touched and what seeds will be planted. He knows the spiritual growth that will take place and the relationships that will be changed. We can’t see it all, because we are limited by time and our own perspectives. I keep coming back to that word “limited”.

And I realized something — how dare I judge God based on my own limited and humanly flawed knowledge? How dare I? Who do I think I am, anyway?

I remember a friend once saying that she believes it is actually a sin to question God and to ask why. I am not sure about that, but I do believe that if we don’t come to a place of utter submission to His will after our initial and natural questioning, we will struggle all of our lives in our relationship with Him. It is about sovereignty and submission. Very very unpopular words in this culture we find ourselves.

And, interestingly enough, as I was thinking through all of this, another friend who is going through an extremely difficult time in her life shared with me a really amazing way she has seen the Lord take her tragedy and bring someone to Himself because of it. Now if that isn’t an encouragement to keep trusting, I don’t know what is.

But, no matter what outcomes we do or do not see, scripture teaches us that we are to keep submitting and trusting, knowing that our heavenly Father loves us and will keep us in His care, no matter what we face (I Peter 5:7; Lamentations 3:25; 2 Corinthians 1:3-4).

*Walsh, Dan (2010-06-01). Homecoming, The: A Novel (Kindle Locations 3581-3584 & 3588-3591). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

Only God

2 Comments / March 6, 2014 March 6, 2014

It was a cold, windy day and I had two boxes of flowers in my car. We had them left over from a garden show and I was determined to keep them from a lonely death in my garage, while giving a few friends a little taste of spring in this long winter. As I pulled up to a friend’s house, I remembered that there was another lady there at her house. As I got out of the car, I decided spontaneously to take an extra hyacinth in with me and give it to her. I don’t know her all that well, but, hey, who turns down a spring-scented flower? Especially after this winter!

As I handed her the flower, her face lit up and she thanked me.

I thought no more of it. Until I got a thank-you card from this woman a week or so later.

You see this woman’s mother lives with her. And she has terminal cancer. She had given up. This is a portion of the note:

I don’t know flower names, but the minute Mom saw it she exclaimed, “Where did you get that! I love hyacinths. We can plant it in the front yard come spring.” That is the first time my mother looked ahead with any joy.

Now, here is the thing– I had NO idea that her dying mother’s favorite flower was a hyacinth. I didn’t even know she had a mother who has cancer. I could just as easily have given her a daffodil or tulip, both of which were with me in my car. Why did I choose to give her a hyacinth?

But God knew. God knew that a hyacinth, specifically, would brighten up this woman’s mother’s day like nothing else. He knew it would be a source of encouragement to both of them in ways I could never have imagined.

It’s funny, but I continue to be amazed at how much God cares about the small stuff in our lives. How can this be? There is so much hurt and pain and tragedy everywhere. There are wars and rumors of wars. There are failing economies. And yet, amidst all of this, God cared enough to bring this woman the “right” flower.

What an awesome God we serve.

Bird in a Blizzard

2 Comments / February 13, 2014 February 13, 2014

As I looked out my window at the blowing snow this morning, I couldn’t help but notice the four little sparrows hopping around our bird feeder. One was on the feeder, while it blew in the wind, and three were on the ground below, their feathers all fluffed out as they searched for fallen seeds. The temperatures are cold this morning–26 degrees Fahrenheit– and I know I wouldn’t want to be outside. And I couldn’t help thinking–

I’m so glad I’m not a bird today.

But then I remembered that God created them with very specific features. They have exactly what they need to survive this day.

And so the sparrows that sit in the trees and sing on warm summer mornings are the same sparrows that have to endure winter. But God has prepared them and, most likely, they will survive to see summer come again.

Thinking about this made me realize that God will prepare you and me for whatever winters come our way, as well. I was talking with some friends the other day about the great Christians who have been martyred in other times and other lands. As we talked we pondered about the possibility of that happening in our country and whether or not we would have the strength to stand for what is right if it came. I said, “God would give us the grace. He promises to give us the grace.” But as I said it, inside my head I wondered a bit. Would He really??

And then this morning He showed me the birds. And I knew. He will prepare us for whatever is to come. He will not leave us or forsake us through the dark valleys that are ahead. Just as the birds have been prepared for their winters, so will we be prepared for ours. If we are a true believer and Jesus Christ has saved us, then we can rest in this thought.

This Is the Day

4 Comments / February 10, 2014 February 10, 2014

As I have muddled through the last few days, I have struggled. The winter has been long and filled with snow and ice. It has been absolutely frigid and cloudy most days and now I am fighting a cold. It is starting to feel like spring will never arrive.

But then God reminded me that He has made this day and I am to rejoice in it (Psalm 118:24). These days. This winter. And I have to continue to be faithful even when all I feel like doing is putting on sweatpants, wrapping up in a blanket, and watching TV.

There are no conditions attached to this verse. Wouldn’t it be easier for our flesh if there were?

This is the day the Lord hath made, rejoice if everything is going your way or rejoice if you got that promotion you wanted, or rejoice if the sun is shining.

But, as much as we would like to, we can find no conditions attached to this verse. We are to rejoice in each new day God grants us.

The best way to get a good start on our day is to get up with these words on our lips: “This is the day the Lord hath made, I will rejoice and be glad in it!”

There is lot to be done and I am to do it cheerfully! How much easier is this task if I acknowledge that, no matter what the day brings I can rejoice, knowing that God is in control and that I can rest in His hands, trusting Him.

And, ironically, it is when I can fight my flesh and actively accomplish my work for the day, I am energized and fulfilled. On the other hand, when I give in to my fleshly cravings and lay around all day, I am filled with lethargy and a vague sense of dissatisfaction.

So which will it be today? I choose to rejoice!

I am so thankful that God cares enough about me to remind me that He has made this day and that I am to rejoice in it!

Thankless Jobs

6 Comments / February 6, 2014 February 6, 2014

As my husband crawled into bed last night, exhausted after several nights of little sleep and hours and hours out in the cold, he said these words to me: “There is one thing about snow removal. It is such a thankless job.”

He went on to talk about his day and the lack of gratitude he gets in the snow removal business. I dealt with my own end of that this past week, where the east has been coated in snow and ice. I am the lucky girl who gets to take the phone calls. And, trust me, people do not call to say how awesome of a job we did. It is always a complaint. Mostly by people who aren’t very kind as they express their frustrations. Now, I will say this, some people are very nice when they call and that helps so much. And I am also thankful that we have an AWESOME crew who does a GREAT job and so the calls are fairly infrequent. But it does remind me of a couple of things —

1. We need to thank someone who does something we take for granted. Someone is working hard, often during the hours you are asleep, so that you can get to work tomorrow or walk safely on the sidewalks leading into the bank or the grocery store. If you see them out working, tell them you appreciate them. But this isn’t just about snow removal. Think about other thankless jobs people do each and every day and then intentionally start thanking those people.

2. We need to do our duty, with or without the praise of men. Sometimes we find ourselves relying on someone saying thank you or good job and when it doesn’t come we get discouraged and want to quit. But Colossians 3:23-24 says And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ. Yes! We serve the Lord, not man. Whether we are doing the dishes, plowing snow, or collecting garbage, we are to do it out of a heart of love for our Lord.

And so the long winter continues, but it has not been without its life lessons and good reminders. And while I am thankful for what God is teaching me, I do find myself longing for the sunny summer days. I guess they will come soon enough.