biblical counsel – Page 31

January Joy Challenge #2: Finding the Balance

4 Comments / January 14, 2013 June 23, 2013

Balance is very important in the life of a Christian, but most of us have a very, very difficult time finding it. You see, somehow we have to find the balance between —

Accepting where the Lord has placed us

and yet,

Continuing to learn and grow from the trials

And between–

Accepting and resting in the grace of God to cover all of our sins

and yet,

Striving to be more pure and holy with each passing day

And between–

Accepting the way God has made us

and yet,

Never giving up on improving ourselves

This is all especially personal to me, because about this time in life (speaking only for myself, you understand), I am not always accepting with much of anything (just being honest here). My kids are almost grown up and I find myself nearing the end of the only full-time job I ever wanted. I don’t look like I want to look. I often don’t act or react like I think I should. I am frustrated that I haven’t progressed more as a Christian. And, a few years ago, I started to realize that happy endings are mostly in movies. Thankfully, there are a few in real life, but even those take a ton of work. Mostly, you just do the best you can with what you are given.

And, look, I have a great life. I know I do. I am not complaining–not a bit. But, somehow, I have to figure out how to accept who and where I am–right now– without giving in to complacency and apathy. And that’s what is so hard. And that’s where joy comes in.

You see, if I can’t accept the circumstances in which God has placed me or in who God created me to be, then discontent will reign in my heart, pushing out joy (Romans 9:20; Psalm 139:14; Philippians 4:11). But if I am too accepting of myself or of my circumstances, then there is no desire to change for the better, also pushing out joy (Philippians 3:12; I Corinthians 9:24-27; Romans 12:1-2) . And, so, somehow we have to find the balance.

So how exactly do we do this? I confess I am not totally sure. But maybe we should start with this week’s challenge:

Take some time this week to do an inventory of yourself. Think about what you don’t like about yourself or circumstances. Are they things you can change or are they outside your control?

Prayerfully, give the things you can’t control to the Lord (you know–things like the scar on your face, your husband’s horrible boss, the wayward adult child). In fact, go a step further, and thank the Lord for these things, for they have probably led you to a deeper walk with the Lord.

And then, look at the things you don’t like that you can control (things like a huge amount of debt, laziness, bad temper, extra pounds) and develop a plan to start working on them, yielding them prayerfully to the Lord.

Of course, sometimes issues get lost in the big black hole between the can control and the can’t control –things like marriages and wayward teens. Okay then, if that is the case, we do what we can do and then submit the outcome to God, praying confidently for His will to be done. After all, we know it is His will that our marriages stay together and that our teens follow hard after Him.

This challenge is a little deeper this week and a little more work, too. But, I truly believe that until we can find the balance, we will either be stuck in the land of discontent or find ourselves in the fields of laziness and apathy. May we always be striving, instead, for the life of balance, which will lead us to deeper joy.

Joy Killers

4 Comments / January 10, 2013 January 10, 2013

Yesterday, I shared some excerpts from a sermon by Spurgeon on the Joy of the Lord. As I thought about his words, I thought of how often I desire to walk in the joyful sunshine of God’s light but then choose, instead, to walk through the dark, cold shade of my own sinful choices. What are some of those sinful choices–or what I like to call Joy Killers–that are so effective in leading us to the shady side of the street? The list is probably endless, but here are a few that came to mind–

Joy Killers

Holding a grudge
Entertainment that glorifies what God hates
Caring too much about what people think
Loving money
Eating more than your body needs
Wasting time
Gossiping about someone else
Caring more about your physical health than your spiritual health
Watching too much news
Anger and Frustration
Caring too much about what you look like
Focusing only on what’s wrong in the world
Making yourself and your needs your top priority
Complaining
Criticizing
Trying to fix, control, and manipulate people and circumstances
Taking something that isn’t yours
Envy and jealousy
Sex outside of marriage
Hating someone
Putting sports (or anything else) ahead of the spiritual welfare of your family
Language that is filthy and crude
Pretending to be someone you are not (hypocrisy)
Abusing our bodies with substances
Twisting scripture to make it mean what you want instead of what it really does
Living only for today, with no thought for eternity

Many on this list are specific things listed in scripture as sin (see Galatians 5). Others are simply unwise to do if we want to live a life of joy. There are so many others that could be added. We humans have been very creative at concocting ways to steal our own joy!

I have been really convicted lately that we need to pray that we (and those we love) would hate sin. No, we will never be perfect here on this earth, but if we have a heart that is yielded to the Lord and we desire to be pure and holy, it is then, and only then, that we make it possible to have deep, abiding communion with our heavenly Father, thus leading to true and lasting joy.

Do you have anything to add to my list of Joy Killers?

Wednesday Wisdom: Spurgeon on Joy

Leave a Comment / January 9, 2013 January 9, 2013

To get us started off on our Wednesday Wisdom for the month of January, I chose three excerpts from a sermon by Charles Haddon Spurgeon entitled “The Joy of the Lord, the Strength of His People”. His words are profound and wise. And even though he lived in the late 1800s, this is still so very applicable to us today. You can read the whole sermon here.

Now, beloved, I have not yet taken you into the great deeps of joy, though these streams are certainly by no means shallow. There is an abyss of delight for every Christian when he comes into actual fellowship with God. I spoke of the truth that God loved us, and the fact that we are related to Him by ties most near and dear; but, oh, when these doctrines become experiences, then are we indeed anointed with the oil of gladness. When we enter into the love of God, and it enters into us; when we walk with God habitually, then our joy is like Jordan at harvest time, when it overfloweth all its banks. Do you know what it means—to walk with God—Enoch’s joy; to sit at Jesus’ feet—Mary’s joy; to lean your head upon Jesus’ bosom—John’s familiar joy? Oh yes, communion with the Lord is no mere talk with some of us. We have known it in the chamber of affliction; we have known it in the solitude of many a night of broken rest; we have known it beneath discouragements and under sorrows and defamations, and all sorts of ills; and we reckon that one dram of fellowship with Christ is enough to sweeten an ocean full of tribulation, and that only to know that He is near us, and to see the gleaming of His dear eye, would transform even hell itself into heaven, if it were possible for us to enjoy His presence there. Alas! Ye do not and cannot know this bliss, ye who quaff. Your foaming bowls, listening to the sound of stringed instruments, ye do not know what this bliss means—ye have not dreamed of it, nor could ye compass it though a man should tell it unto you. As the beast in the meadow knows not the far-reaching thoughts of Him who reads the stars and threads the spheres, so neither can the carnal man make so much as a guess of what are the joys which God hath prepared for them that love Him, which any day and every day, when our hearts seek it, He revealeth unto us by His Spirit. This is “the joy of the Lord,” fellowship with the Father and with His Son, Jesus Christ. Beloved, if we reach this point, we must labour to maintain our standing, for our Lord saith to us “abide in Me.” The habit of communion is the life of happiness.

And here is another excerpt–

Again, “the joy of the Lord” within us is always the sign and symbol of strong spiritual life. Holy vivacity betokens spiritual vigour. I said that he who had spiritual joy gained it by communion with God, but communion with God is the surest fosterer of strength. You cannot be with a strong God without getting strength yourself, for God is always a transforming God; regarding and looking upon Him our likeness changes till we become in our measure like our God. The warmth of the South of France, of which you often hear so much, does not spring from soft balmy winds, but from the sun; at sunset the temperature falls. You shall be on one side of the street in Italy and think it May, cross the street into the shade and it is cold as January. The sun does it all. A man who walks in the sunlight of God’s countenance, for that very reason is warm and strong. The sunlight of joy usually goes with the warmth of spiritual life. As the light of joy varies so does the warmth of holy strength; he who dwells in the light of God is both happy and strong. He who goes into the shade and loses the joy of the Lord becomes weak at the same time. So the joy of the Lord becomes our strength, as being an indicator of its rise or fall. When a soul is really vigorous and active, it is like the torrent which dashes down the mountain side, which scorns in winter to own the bonds of frost: in a few hours the stagnant pools and slowly moving streams are enchained in ice; but the snow king must bring forth all his strength ere he can manacle the rushing torrent. So when a soul dashes on with the sacred force of faith, it is hard to freeze it into misery, its vigour secures its joy.

And another excerpt–

A joyous man, such I have now in my mind’s eye, is to all intents and purposes a strong man. He is strong in a calm restful manner. Whatever happens he is not ruffled or disturbed. He is not afraid of evil tidings, his heart is fixed, trusting in the Lord. The ruffled man is ever weak. He is in a hurry, and doth things ill. The man full of joy within is quiet, he bides his time and croucheth in the fulness of his strength. Such a man, though he is humble, is firm and steadfast; he is not carried away with every wind, or bowed by every breeze, he knows what he knows, and holds what he holds, and the golden anchor of his hope entereth within the veil, and holds him fast. His strength is not pretentious but real. The happiness arising from communion with God breeds in him no boastfulness; he does not talk of what he can do, but he does it; he does not say what he could bear, but he bears all that comes. He does not himself always know what he could do; his weakness is the more apparent to himself because of the strength which the Holy Ghost puts upon him; but when the time comes, his weakness only illustrates the divine might, while the man goes calmly on, conquering and to conquer. His inner light makes him independent of the outward sun; his secret granaries make him independent of the outer harvest; his inward fountains place him beyond dread though the brook Cherith may dry Up; he is independent of men and angels, and fearless of devils; all creatures may turn against him if they please, but since God himself is his exceeding joy, he will not miss their love or mourn their hate. He standeth where others fall, he sings where others weep, he wins where others fly, he glorifies his God where others bring dishonour on themselves and on the sacred name. God grant us the inward joy which arises from real strength and is so linked with it as to be in part its cause.

January Joy Challenge #1: Step Outside Yourself

10 Comments / January 7, 2013 January 13, 2013

Have you ever had one of those days where everything goes wrong? You just want to crawl up in a hole and stay there for the day, but life continues on and the kids still need to go to soccer practice and the milk is all gone, so you have to go to the store, and it just happens to be on the day you have a mandatory meeting at work or church.

I handle those awful days two different ways with two very different outcomes.

The first way is to just keep completely to myself. I don’t look at anyone, I don’t acknowledge the clerk that is checking me out, and I sit in my car, far away from people while I wait for soccer practice to finish. I say very little, if anything, while sitting in a meeting. I play sad music and, quite honestly, just plain out sulk.

The fruit of all that ungodly self-love is: nothing. Well, that is, if you don’t count the terrible example I am setting for my kids and the lack of love I am showing to the people around me. I guess there is fruit, but it certainly isn’t good.

The second way I have handled days like this is to just stop thinking about myself. On those days, on God’s strength alone, I climb out of my self-created pit to say hello to the store clerk and ask her about her day. Most times, she will look up pleasantly surprised that someone cared to ask. On those days, I am able to step outside my frustration and ask the customer service rep what the weather is like in Pakistan today. I am able to listen intently in my mandatory meeting and add some ideas. I will get out of my car and enjoy talking to other moms, building relationships, while we wait for the end of practice together. I usually feel so much better when I stop thinking about myself.

The fruit of this response is: a deep-down joy because I am doing the right thing, the opportunity to encourage or help someone, new or better relationships, and unexpected opportunities to tell others about Jesus, as well as setting a good and godly example.

And honestly, we don’t have to be having a bad day to be self-centered. Sometimes we are preoccupied or worried about something. Many times we are simply in a hurry. And, quite frankly, some of us are just in the habit of never thinking about someone else.

But here’s the problem: I truly believe that we cannot experience joy without stepping outside of ourselves by showing interests in the lives of others. Jesus set a good example for us when He did this with the Samaritan woman in John 4. Samaritans were hated by the Jews, but Jesus showed an interest in her life by talking with her and asking her questions about her life.

This interest in others is becoming rarer and rarer in our self-centered world. Have you ever run into an old friend or acquaintance and realize after the conversation is over that the whole conversation was about them? There was never even a hint of interest in your life? That is the world we live in.

If we can smile and kindly show interest in the lives of others, we will look different to the world around us. And, ironically, we will feel different, too.

So here’s the FIRST CHALLENGE:

When you talk with someone this week, make a concentrated effort to smile and to ask them about themselves.

Treat the customer service rep from India and the store clerk at Wal-Mart like they are real people. Ask the elderly lady at church or the man that sits on the same bench every day when you are walking the dog about their lives. Show an interest in others and see if it doesn’t increase your joy.

Comments welcome! I would love to hear about how it goes :)

Don’t forget my new e-book is ready! If you sign up as a new subscriber to the blog or like the Growing 4 Life Facebook page, I will send you a copy for free. If you are already an e-mail subscriber or facebook fan, but would like a copy, just let me know your e-mail address and I will be happy to send one to you :)

January Joy Challenge: The Explanation

4 Comments / January 3, 2013 January 3, 2013

Well, the time has come. Are you ready to do some work with me? I am hoping to learn a lot about joy this month. And, hopefully, you will learn a thing or two, as well.

The world tells us that joy is something akin to happiness. In fact, dictionary.com gives this definition for joy: the emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying; keen pleasure; elation.

According to that definition there is very little difference between joy and happiness. Both are seemingly related to circumstances and happenings in our lives.

But would this be the biblical view of joy? Let’s see what scripture says–

Psalm 16:11
You will show me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

Psalm 32:11
Be glad in the LORD and rejoice, you righteous; And shout for joy, all you upright in heart!

Psalm 35:9
And my soul shall be joyful in the LORD; It shall rejoice in His salvation.

Psalm 51:12
Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, And uphold me by Your generous Spirit.

In these verses, joy seems to be related to salvation and righteousness. John MacArthur describes biblical joy like this–

Biblical joy consists of the deep and abiding confidence that all is well regardless of circumstance and difficulty. It is something very different from worldly happiness. Biblical joy is always related to God and belongs only to those in Christ. It is the permanent possession of every believer–not a whimsical delight that comes and goes as chance offers it opportunity.*

So, are you ready to learn about joy together? Here is the plan–at least for now :)

Mondays — I will present a challenge every week for us to work on together.

Wednesdays — I will continue with Wednesday Wisdom and we will see what some godly men and women have to say about joy.

Thursdays — I will write a normal blog post, trying to keep it related to our theme of the month.

Meanwhile, I will be posting all kinds of things on Facebook. In fact, I just posted a question for all of us yesterday. Why don’t you stop over there and answer it? You can find it here. I will be doing that periodically throughout the month, as well as some other fun things.

And I just want to say here that this will be so much more fun and interesting if you participate! Let me know how your challenges go by commenting here or on the Facebook page. Tell us all how the Lord is working in your life. I am excited to see what the Lord will do this month, as we try to put into practice this fruit of the Spirit!

And don’t forget, you can get a jump start on joy by getting my little mini-devotional called Jumpstart to Joy. You can get this free by subscribing or by liking the Growing4Life Facebook page (don’t forget to send me your e-mail address). Find out more information here.

*From The Epistle of Joy GTY Study Guide

But First: A Moment of Confession

6 Comments / January 2, 2013 January 2, 2013

Happy New Year! Are you ready to begin our January Joy Challenge? Resolutions like eating right and exercising are beneficial for our physical bodies, but Paul tells us in I Timothy 4:8 that, while bodily exercise profits us a little, godliness is profitable for all things. I can only assume that joy is a part of godliness, since it is listed in Galatians 5:22 as one of the fruits of the spirit. Therefore, joy is an important part of a godly Christian life.

Is that enough to convince you to join me in the January Joy Challenge?

Tomorrow I will give some details about how this is all going to work. But for today–well, I have a confession to make.

Before we get started officially, I have to be honest. When I came up with the idea last month of having a Joy Challenge for all of us for the month of January, I hadn’t given it an extended period of thought. I was just trying to think of a way to liven up the blog a bit and do something new.

Little did I know that the past two weeks would be so difficult for me emotionally. There were a few dynamics in my life that all came together at the same time and threw me onto a bit of a roller coaster ride (but I am not offering that as an excuse–simply an explanation). Suffice it to say, I have not been even slightly joyful. My poor family. I would wake up and think: today will be different. But then I’d fall right back into the pit of sadness and irritability. While I do occasionally get moody, I don’t think that would be the first word that comes to mind when describing me, so this extended state of negative emotions is quite unusual for me.

Several times I contemplated somehow working my way out of the Joy Challenge. But I couldn’t figure out how to back out gracefully. This hung over my head for the past week or so. I mean- honestly – how can you write about joy if you aren’t even slightly joyful?

I shared this with my mom and she gave me some very wise counsel: You can–in fact, you need–to write the truth, no matter what you feel like.

A moment of epiphany. Yes, of course, she’s right.

In fact, isn’t that what I’ve been doing all along? Writing about areas in which I myself need to change and become more like Christ? If only perfect people wrote blogs, there would be no blogs.

And so, my friends, it is with a very humble heart that I start up the January Joy Challenge. I have struggled in this area and am doing it for myself as much as for you.

I hope that you will join me.

P.S. I hope to have my new mini e-book Jumpstart to Joy ready for you in the next day or two. You can find out more details here. I will give a free copy to anyone who subscribes to the blog or who likes the Growing4Life page on Facebook. However, if you are already subscribed to my blog or a fan of the Facebook page, just let me know if you would like a copy. I will be happy to oblige :)

The January Joy Challenge is coming!

4 Comments / December 24, 2012 December 24, 2012

There is so much going on this time of year! But I wanted to take just a moment to wish you a very, Merry Christmas and to thank you for taking the time to read my blog this past year!

I also wanted to share a little bit of what I have in mind for January–

This time of year you can spot the word “Joy” everywhere. I found it on ornaments, sweatshirts, lawn ornaments (didn’t have the opportunity to take that picture, however), towels, and even on a doughnut! It’s such a great word that surfaces especially at Christmastime.

Most of us are very familiar with Luke 2. In verse 10 we find this wonderful text: And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.

Tiding of great joy for all people! Can you imagine being one of those shepherds, hearing this wonderful news?

But somehow in the midst of everyday life, in the humdrum of the daily grind, we forget about joy. Especially in January. January– at least for me– has always been a rather depressing month. My favorite seasons are over (spring, summer, and fall) and winter can no longer be camouflaged by the holiday season.

I can find myself growing a bit down and apathetic in January if I am not careful. And so, I thought I would turn our focus to this word “Joy” starting on January 1. The theme of each Wednesday Wisdom will be joy throughout the entire month and look for various challenges and quotes on the Growing 4 Life Facebook page (find the Facebook page here).

Let’s see how this word should apply to our lives every day and not just at Christmastime!

Until January, I wish you all a wonderful Christmas and a blessed New Year!

There is room in my heart for…me.

2 Comments / December 20, 2012 December 18, 2019

We were singing the Christmas song Thou Didst Leave Thy Throne in church. I got distracted and wasn’t paying attention to what I was singing. We got to the last line of the song and, instead of the beautiful line “there is room in my heart for Thee”, I sang “there is room in my heart for me.”

What did I just sing? I caught it immediately and grew disgusted with myself. What Christian would ever make such a terrible blunder while singing a song about God?

Well, I am here to tell you — I would. I did.

I sang those words and then, as we went on to the next verse and then the next song, I contemplated about how true those words actually are so many times.

I am ashamed to say that oftentimes there is only room in my heart for myself.

I get so focused on what I want that I forget to leave room in my heart for Jesus and what He wants.

For example, some days I wake up and immediately start thinking of everything that needs to be done that day. I don’t see how I can possibly make time for a quiet time that morning and so I don’t have one. Ironically, I usually do end up having time at the end of my day for a quick game on my ipad or to watch something on TV — something I want. I have room for me.

Or I am short with a family member because there is something I want to do. I know that I would please the Lord by being kind and loving towards them, but I am too busy making room for me at the moment, thank you very much, so they’d better just get out of my way.

Or I am at the store and I see something that I ~~need~~ want and I buy it, making room for me and my desires, before ever contemplating if this is necessary or wise. Leaving no room in my heart for God and what He wants.

Or…well, you get the idea. Think of all of the times that we spend focused on ourselves–oftentimes, so much so, that we squeeze out Jesus. There’s just so much of us that there is little room for Him.

But there is a problem.

There really is only room for one on the throne of our hearts. And we have a choice to make. Is it going to be me or is it going to be Him?

There are spiritual ramifications to even the smallest choice. Will this decision put Christ on the throne of my heart or will it put me on the throne of my heart? As we grow as a Christian, the throne room in our hearts should be filled more and more with Christ and less and less with self.

I want to sing the right words: “there is room in my heart for Thee.” And then I want to follow up my words with a life that matches.

Thy didst leave thy throne and thy kingly crown
When Thou camest to earth for me
But in Bethlehem’s home there was found no room
For Thy holy nativity
O come to my heart Lord Jesus
There is room in my heart for Thee

If you enjoyed this post, would you consider sharing it on your facebook page or twitter feed? I do not take in any income or spend any marketing dollars for Growing4Life, but rely solely on my readers to spread the word. Thank you!

Facing the Fear

4 Comments / December 17, 2012 December 18, 2012

As our congregation bowed in prayer, I found myself distracted by a sudden thought: where is the closest exit? I sighed with relief as I saw a door nearby through half-closed eyes and then went on to think about what I would do if a gunman entered the church. All while we were supposed to be focused on the Lord. I am not excusing myself, but after Friday, I doubt I am the only one finding myself thinking unfamiliar thoughts about murderers and escape routes. What a world we live in.

I never dreamed last week at this time that my heart could feel so heavy for people I have never even met. That I would be writing about death and murder and fear during the holiday season. It just feels…wrong. Jesus came into the world to save us and give us eternal life and, while murder is absolutely horrific any time of the year, it seems especially tragic at Christmastime.

We grieve for families we have never met. We hear the cries for gun control from the media. We see Facebook statuses that promote returning God to our schools. Everyone has an opinion.

But there is one thing I haven’t really heard much about: FEAR.

There have been multiple stories of shootings and assaults– Friday’s was the worst, by far, but there have been others. And, if I am not careful, I can start to become controlled by fear.

When something happens like what happened last Friday, we suddenly become aware that we are not in control of our lives. We could be violently shot down at any time. Life could end for us or our loved ones instantly. We start to fear for ourselves, even more for our children. And then the fear grows as we think about what the world will be like for our children and the worry and anxiety can start overtaking us if we aren’t very careful. Or maybe I should say “I”. I may be alone here. Not really sure.

So what do we do in the face of fear?

This has happened to me in the past and there are a couple of really helpful things I do that I thought I would pass along, just in case I am not alone.

1. I thank the Lord for what I currently enjoy. There is nothing like a tragedy to remind you of the fragility of life and the wonderful gifts we have been given in our spouses, our children, our parents, our siblings, and our friends. We need to thank the Lord everyday for these blessings. Somehow — I can’t explain it — fear lessens in a thankful heart.

2. I memorize God’s Word. When I went through a very fearful time many years ago, I turned to God’s Word and found many scriptures that speak to fear. I memorized a couple of them and when I would be filled with fear, I would start saying them to myself. It was very comforting and I still go to these verses today when I am struggling with fear.

3. I am very careful about what I watch and listen to. I am one who becomes very disturbed in my spirit if I hear all of the negative stuff going on. It will give me such a heavy heart. It is very difficult for me to see that someone’s life has been destroyed and then go about my business of the day. Because of this, I rarely watch any news at all. If something especially tragic happens, I usually will hear about it from someone or see it on Facebook. But I try to be very careful about how much news I feed myself, because that feeds the fear.

4. I discipline my mind. This is so much easier said than done, although, after many years of practice, I have become much better at it. I find in my life a tiny thought will become a gigantic worry if I am not very careful. And so I try to turn my mind away from dwelling on any thoughts of fear and worry. Although, I have to be honest, I am definitely being tested in this — as is obvious by my thought life in church yesterday!

5. Dwell on the Truth. God knows all. Nothing happens without His knowledge. Yes, the world’s going to get worse but His grace is sufficient. If we are truly saved, then we truly have nothing to fear. He will take care of us and our children. He will see us through. I have read missionary biographies attesting to this fact. I have talked to people going through the worst of circumstances and yet they see God’s faithfulness clearly. We are not alone and bereft. God has not left your heart or this country.

Fear won’t disappear in an instant. It will take time. And we will think we have it beat and then it will crop up again in the face of the next tragedy or accident or disease-stricken relative. It is a battle I fight on a regular basis. But we can’t give in to it. We are called to live in love, not in fear.

PSALMS 46:1-3

God is our refuge and strength,
    an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
    and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam
    and the mountains quake with their surging.

Ms. Kinect isn’t always right

2 Comments / December 13, 2012 December 13, 2012

Monday’s weather was terrible. It was foggy and damp and downright ugly. It was obvious that I wasn’t going to be able to get my normal walk in so I set up the Your Shape game on XBox Kinect. My knee has been hurting, but I figured I could modify any exercises as needed. I enthusiastically did a few warm up and cardio routines and then decided to go ahead with a 13 minute toning routine.

3…2…1…begin. Arm up higher. Bend lower. The directions came from a mysterious female voice on the TV (I will call her Ms. Kinect) who could see my every move. I could also see my every move and was trying to match it to the “personal trainer” moving beside me on the screen. If you haven’t experienced seeing yourself on Kinect you are missing out. Well, not really. But the technology is pretty incredible. You can actually see yourself on the screen of your TV. Do you remember the old Charlie and the Chocolate Factory movie? If you do, then you will remember Mike TV who ended up shrinking to fit into the TV. Well, that’s what you look like on XBox Kinect. It really is pretty amazing. ANYWAY…

I started doing this toning routine. But it started hurting my knee (and it was a little too hard for me because I’m a bit out of shape, but we’ll just say my knee hurt…!) so I started making up my own modified versions of some of the exercises. I started moving my arms up when the TV trainer’s were down and moving my leg forward when the TV trainer’s leg was behind him. We weren’t in sync at all.

Imagine my surprise when I heard Ms. Kinect say “Bravo!” quite enthusiastically! She went on to say things like “Good Job!” and “Way to go!” all the while praising me for following my TV trainer so impressively.

It made me laugh because I wasn’t following the trainer at all! To her credit, she did catch my errors a few times.

Oh, my. It made me think. Like usual.

Just because someone says “Bravo!” doesn’t mean it’s true. We can always find someone to say what we want them to say.

If we want to get divorced, we will be able to find someone to say “Absolutely! You deserve to be happy!”

If we want to buy an expensive car or television on credit, we will be able to find someone who says “Yes, what a great idea!”

If we want to involve ourselves in the wrong entertainment, there is always someone saying, “Yes, let’s do it! Let’s go! It will be so much fun!”

So, it would seem to me we’d better seek wise counsel, instead of listening to just anyone. Proverbs contains many verses encouraging us to seek wise and righteous counsel. So how do we know if it’s wise counsel? Here are a few tips to help us–

1. First and foremost, does the counselor’s advice match up with the Word of God? If the counsel is full of just their own opinion without any scripture to back it up, how in the world can we know if it is worthy of following?

2. Is the person counseling us striving to live a holy, righteous life? If they aren’t, then it means they are not walking with God. Notice I didn’t say “perfect life”. It is not about being perfect, but about a desire to walk with God in holiness and purity. If someone is not trying to please God with their life, they will not know how to counsel wisely, because they don’t know Him at all.

3. Let’s be extra cautious if the counselor says exactly what we want them to. There are many people-pleasers who say something just so they will make us happy and no one will be mad at them. These people are not the ones we want to go to for wise counsel. Only those who will tell us the truth are worthy counselors. Only those brave enough to be honest can be trusted.

These are three things to be on the look-out for when seeking wise counsel for any problem, large or small.

By the way, when I use the term “counsel” I am not necessarily talking about professional counselors. We are all counselors, whether it be to our own kids or our friends or our co-workers. And so, let’s not only seek to find wise counsel, but also to give wise counsel.

This world is full of people-pleasers not willing to tell the truth. It’s full of “counselors” telling others to make themselves happy, no matter the cost.

But just because they are saying it, doesn’t mean it is true. When I heard Ms. Kinect’s words, it was easy. I knew that her words were false praise. I obviously wasn’t doing the right thing. It’s not always so easy in life. But we are called to be discerning and to have a heart ready to listen to wise counsel, whether we like the advice or not. Let’s keep our focus on God’s Word and listen to those who also make it a priority in their lives. And let’s be people who are qualified to give wise counsel– walking with God and willing to tell the truth.

Proverbs 1:5 A wise man will hear and increase learning, And a man of understanding will attain wise counsel.

Proverbs 12:5 The thoughts of the righteous are right, But the counsels of the wicked are deceitful.

Proverbs 15:22 Without counsel, plans go awry, But in the multitude of counselors they are established.

Proverbs 19:20 Listen to counsel and receive instruction, That you may be wise in your latter days.