Growing 4 Life

Never Lost

Leave a Comment / June 19, 2014 June 19, 2014

I reached down into my pocket and felt nothing. Just to be sure I patted both pockets to make sure nothing was hiding in there. Nope.

Okay, so I must have laid it down. I started looking on all of the surfaces around me. Nothing.

I started looking underneath the chair I had been sitting on. And then lifted the cushion and ran my hands down the side cracks of the chair. I found a few other things, but not what I was looking for.

Where could I have left it?

The car!

I sometimes do leave my phone in the car, so I walked outside with a renewed sense of hope. I looked in the cupholder–it’s usual home in my car– to no avail. I looked beneath and between the seats. I looked outside the car on the ground. It was nowhere to be found.

I walked back into the house, now growing a bit frustrated–and a little panicky, if I’m honest. At this point, I am wondering if somehow it was stolen or was permanently lost. (I am also thinking about how I have become far too dependent on my phone–but that’s another story for another day).

As I rush around, my youngest daughter realizes that she, too, cannot find her phone. We are like two crazy people searching the house madly.

My other daughter gave a half-hearted effort to help us and then, a few minutes into it, said, “Have you tried ‘Find My iPhone’?”

Of course! Why didn’t I think of that?

I plugged my info into my iPad and there it came– up on the satellite. My iPhone was definitely somewhere on our property. It looked like it was outside somewhere. So now what?

I noticed the option to have my phone play a sound. That could help. I pressed the button and then listened. Nothing.

I walked towards the car because that is where I had last remembered having my phone. And, suddenly, I heard a wonderful, and yet annoying, sound coming from my car. So it was in the car. I opened the door and started looking around again, this time with certainty that what I was searching for would be found.

And there it was! It had slid underneath the center console and I hadn’t even thought to look there. Sometimes…

Meanwhile, in another part of the house, my daughters were finding the other lost iPhone, using the same method. That phone had become lost in the recesses of the new leather chair (by the way, yes, that’s the chair that I wrote about last week. We put it in the family room and I am now happily back in my old chair!)

You know…

We are kind of like iPhones. Stay with me here.

We can never really get lost.

Oh, we can be alone, somewhere far away, not knowing anyone, but we are never lost to God. He always knows where we are and nothing can separate us from His love and care (Romans 8:38-39).

We can be in our own homes, surrounded by loved ones and yet feeling so lost and lonely it hurts. But God knows and walks with us in those times (Isaiah 43:2).

He won’t leave us or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5).

God always knows where we are, even if we don’t always know ourselves!

I guess God can use even a lost iPhone to remind us of His precious promises.

The Messy Middle

Leave a Comment / June 17, 2014 June 17, 2014

Before I even begin this post I may as well just make a confession.

I do not excel at cleaning my house.

You know how you go into some homes and everything is so spotless that you don’t even have to look into the closets to just know that they are probably organized by color and size? The fact that you could eat from the floor gives pretty solid proof that their pantries probably do not hold any old boxes of crackers, a bag of chips with just a few crumbs remaining, or empty tasty-cake boxes?

Anyway, that’s not my house.

I am just not one of those women who is checking my pantry every day for empty boxes. I am not one of those women who is cleaning out my cabinets every week…er…month…or even year?? I confess, I just believe there are so many other important things to do!

If you are one of those women who keeps a really neat house, then your family is blessed! Many have been the–shall we call them discussions?– regarding my method of housecleaning. Now, I do want you to understand that I do not keep a hovel. My house is basically clutter-free and clean–at least the areas that you can see when you visit!

BUT if you look into any given cabinet or closet…well, just don’t do it, okay? It may be dangerous. I try to stay after them. I really do. But–like I said– there are so many other things to do and, with six “not-so-tidy” people living here, well, they quickly become disorganized again, anyway.

But yesterday, I decided to tackle my family room. I don’t think I had actually thoroughly cleaned the cabinets in that room for several years. They were therefore unusable. I had a basic idea what was in there, but knew I would probably find a few surprises, too. I also decided to change the furniture around to make for more seating and to clean out a few other baskets.

The messy middle came about 30 minutes into the project. This was exactly why I didn’t want to start in the first place! And why I had put it off for so long.

So. Much. Stuff.

What is this? What if I give this away and then I need it again later? What in the world does this cord belong to? Where is the case for this dvd? Why do we even have this dvd? If I haven’t read this magazine from last year, I wonder if I ever will?

While I was in the midst of all that clutter and stuff, which was spread all over my kitchen table and family room floor, one of the kids came in.

“Wow, this is a mess.”

Yes, I know. Thanks for telling me.

Another one came in.

“Whoa! What are you doing?”

?? Really? I thought it was obvious.

I started to get discouraged and overwhelmed. I would escape to my computer every 15 minutes or so to check e-mail and Facebook. Anything to escape the dreariness of what lay ahead. I did not want to finish this job. But it had to be done. For goodness’ sake, we couldn’t even eat a family meal until this job was finished.

And so, I finally made myself sit and work without any escape. I forced myself to finish the big job I had undertaken, even though I didn’t really feel like it.

After it was all done, I looked over my rearranged and clean family room with the satisfaction of a job well-done. It was so miserable in the middle, but the end result made it so worth it!

Oh, how true this is in so many areas of life! Raising kids can get very messy in the middle, can it not? Marriages can get pretty messy, too. As can extended family relationships, church situations, and job situations.

Oftentimes, we warily stand back, so fearful to address an issue. Sometimes we are just lazy. And sometimes we are just too busy. We just figure it will have to go away sometime. And, very occasionally, that does happen.

But, just like my messy cabinets weren’t going to disappear, most problems aren’t going anywhere, either. And just like the cabinets grew worse– more layers of dust, more stuff, more disorganization, so do our problems grow bigger and deeper. And so we need to face them head on and deal with them. And, YES, dealing with it will be messy and unpleasant and hard work. But we can’t give up in the middle. We have to keep going so that we can get to the other side.

And when we do, we will feel a peace and satisfaction that is comparable to little else this world has to offer.

The messy middle is no fun. That’s the truth, plain and simple. But the results are so worth it.

And now you know far more about me and my house-cleaning practices than I wish you did but don’t let it be said that I’m not willing to sacrifice my reputation for the Lord ;)

Teaching Our Children to Work

Leave a Comment / June 16, 2014 June 16, 2014

One of the most disheartening changes in this culture over the past 30 or so years is that children are no longer taught to work. Instead of teaching our children a good work ethic and diligence, we are teaching them that everything else is more important. We have an epidemic of laziness in this country.

This becomes obvious rather quickly, I am afraid, when you watch young (and some not so young!) people work in public. We can size up pretty quickly which waitress or cashier we don’t really want. They are slow and incapable. They are more interested in their conversation with a co-worker. They don’t give any effort to their job because it’s “just a job”.

Owning a business that hires young people as our employees has also made this change rather obvious to my husband and me. It is a rare thing to find a hard-working, diligent young person these days. Most applicants expect to be given a good salary, great benefits, and lots of extra incentives, but they don’t want to work for it. They expect it all to be handed to them on a silver platter, giving nothing in return. Thankfully, there are still some hard-working, young people full of integrity out there but the pickings are getting slimmer every year.

I know many of us feel that there will be enough time for work when our children grow up, which is true to a certain extent. However, if they are never taught to work when they are young, they will not magically learn this when they grow older.

Of course, I am not suggesting that we use our children as our slaves, but we need to stop the sports and playtime long enough to have them join some of the family chores. Kids who know how to work are better citizens, less self-centered, and tend to look at what they can give to the world, rather than what they can get from it.

Have them join Dad in helping to fix the shed or do the lawn work on a Saturday or help Mom bake or do laundry during the week. Don’t worry if it isn’t done perfectly. It is more important that your child learn to help fold towels, than that the towel is folded just right. Sometimes when teaching children to work it is hard to remember our priorities, isn’t it?

And, YES, your kids will complain. If they don’t complain when you ask them to do something, be pleasantly surprised. My kids complained most of their lives. And sometimes they still do. But we have made it clear that if they are going to live here and take part in all of the benefits of living here, they will also take part in the work involved to have what we have.

We cannot forget that we are responsible for preparing our precious children for their future lives. Their future life is, most likely, not going to be about sports or dance or getting good grades. There is a place for these things but how important it is that we not get so busy running around with activities that we have no time left to teach our kids how to work.

But there is a second aspect to this, as well. Not only are we to teach them how to work, but we are to set a good example. How do we talk about our necessary duties? What attitude do we have about Mondays? Do we work for God’s Glory and enjoy each day or are we “Working for the Weekend”, as the old 80s song says?

I failed at this one many times, I am afraid. Being a homemaker has its challenges–a big one being that we determine our own schedules, task lists, and priorities. The other challenge is that we never get to pack up for the day and leave it behind. We are always on call, 24/7. This can be a bit of a challenge for someone like me. I have learned a lot over the years, but this was not originally an easy thing for me. Having a positive, selfless, and diligent attitude was not something at which I excelled, quite honestly. I would change that now. Hindsight is always 20/20.

It is so sobering to realize that these little (or not so little) lives that we have been entrusted with are counting on us to teach them everything they need to know before being thrust into a pretty hard and cold world. We can’t get so caught up in our desires to provide them with special and fun experiences that we forget to teach them how to work.

And, trust me, your kids will thank you later. And so will their boss!

please note: This post has been updated and expanded from its original form, which was written for The Prudent Life, my homemaking blog.

New Isn’t Always Better (and other lessons I’ve learned about change)

1 Comment / June 11, 2014 June 11, 2014

Sometimes you have to learn really expensive lessons. Sometimes you can fix it, sometimes you can’t.

But, before I talk about my lesson, first let me tell you a story–

The dark green recliner sat on the floor of our local Sam’s Club. It was a great price and we thought it would be a great addition to our living room. So we decided to purchase it. We took it home, very pleased with our bargain.

I loved that chair and spent many hours there, nursing babies and holding sick kids. I even spent the nights there when I had a horrible case of mastitis — yes, you read that right — in terrible pain with a breast infection.

About ten years after we purchased it, we moved to a new house. We took the chair with us, but relegated it to our formal living room and bought new furniture for our family room. It now wasn’t used as often. That room became our homeschooling read-aloud room and so the chair became my place to read to my kids. We read about history and God and science. We played games and argued and laughed, all while I was in that chair.

As the kids became teenagers, that room became the confrontation room. It was where we would go to talk privately with one another. The kids knew that if I asked them to go to the living room, I had something serious to discuss with them. I would sit in that chair and they would sit on the sofa opposite, as we would discuss a problem or concern together.

And, then, as, one by one, they headed off to Christian school and college, that chair became the place where I would read the Bible and pray every morning. During my busy homeschooling years, I wasn’t always able to make the time I wanted for the Lord. My time was often with the kids — teaching them to pray and to learn God’s Word. But, suddenly, one day I realized that I actually had the time to spend quietly with the Lord each day and so it was in that chair that I spent many hours reading His Word and petitioning the Lord.

Then, one day, I looked down and saw that the chair was torn.

What a sad day.

I knew I was going to have to replace it, eventually, so I started keeping my eyes open for a new recliner — a leather one this time.

The first furniture store had nothing that thrilled me. The chairs were either too soft or too hard (do I sound like Goldilocks??) or too expensive.

On a whim, I stopped at a furniture store on the way home from a soccer game. The first chair I sat in was perfect and was on sale! I sat in a few more but kept going back to the first one. Yes, that was my new chair. I purchased it and told them someone would be there to pick it up later in the week.

A few days later, my beloved green recliner was removed from my room and the new leather one was put in its place. Oh, joy! I couldn’t wait for my devotions the next morning to sit in my new chair!

Oh, I feel foolish now. I feel foolish even sharing this story. For when I sat in that new chair it wasn’t even comfortable. I squirmed this way and that, but it just wasn’t the same. I got off of it and shifted it to the right. I tried it with the foot rest up and with it down. Nope. It just wasn’t all that comfortable. How could I have made such a mistake? I had a very difficult time concentrating on my devotions that morning.

As the day progressed, I talked myself into believing that it was just in my head and I would get used to it. After all, every piece of furniture takes some breaking in. So, with renewed diligence, I was determined to make this chair work as I sat in it the next morning. But, alas, it felt the same as the morning before. Now, what to do?

And that’s the end of the story. Because I am still not sure what I am going to do. Just get used to the chair? After all, we paid good money for it. Or bring back the old one and sell the new one at a slight loss? And while that’s a possibility, I can’t change the fact that the old one is falling apart and I am going to have to get used to a new one eventually.

There are so many thoughts that surround this incident in my life that I am having a hard time narrowing it down to just one–

1. New isn’t always better. Sometimes we yearn for a change to happen in our life. We think “if only” or “when that happens” and then when we are finally there, it isn’t near as great as we thought it would be.

2. Sometimes change needs to occur. It isn’t pleasant or fun but it is necessary.

3. Sometimes change doesn’t need to occur but we push and push for it because we are impatient and don’t want to be labeled “stuck in the mud” or “traditional”.

4. How do we change without changing what really matters?

5. With all change comes our new normal and it doesn’t take us very long to grow used to it. I just read somewhere (and, boy, do I wish I remember exactly where!) about people’s amazing ability to get used to almost any circumstance in their lives. We start living in the new normal. I think this is the case with Evangelical Christianity. We have gotten so used to the departure from scripture, the inclusion of Catholics and Mormons under the label “Christian”, the lack of standards and morals and holiness, the feel-good and shallow worship, that we have become used to this new normal and accept it as normal. But while it may be our new normal, it isn’t anything close to biblical Christianity.

My mom mentioned yesterday, as we were driving home from the mall, that when she was a girl, it was made quite clear to her that Catholicism was not the same as Evangelical Christianity. The church taught very specifically that we do not believe the same things and that they are two separate religions (which they are). And yet, now, if you try to say that you are immediately branded as someone who causes division and disunity. Because we have gotten used to a new normal and in that new normal, we have forgotten–or choose to ignore– hundreds of years of church history. And this is tragic.

We also talked about how Christians of old were concerned about their behavior. You didn’t dare call yourself a Christian if your behavior didn’t match. And so no one assumed you were a Christian if your behavior was characterized by worldly entertainment and vices. Now, in our new normal, everything is okay and even sanctioned under the word grace. This false definition of grace will leave a lot wondering why they are still here when the rapture occurs. With true grace comes repentance and life transformation. It could not be clearer in scripture (2 Corinthians 5:17). It is a lie that we can continue in our old activities and lifestyle and be saved. And, yet, that has become normal. See what I’m getting at here?

And here is what I’ve learned. No one wants to hear this stuff. It is negative and offensive and uncomfortable.

People may read this post but they won’t like it and they certainly won’t share it. They may even agree with it, but they won’t share it for fear of offending someone (another new “norm” we have grown used to — don’t dare offend anyone lest we be labeled or become susceptible to uncomfortable discussions).

I am weary of this new normal, quite honestly. But I do believe it is here to stay. So now we learn to live –and even thrive– in it. If we respond to this right, it could become a wonderful culture to grow in Christ.

And I go back again to God’s Word. If we know it and are studying it, then so much becomes clear that is clouded otherwise. If you want to truly thrive in this increasingly hostile culture, then study and know God’s Word. It is the only thing we have in this desert of modern Christianity. I hate to even call it Christianity because it isn’t even real Christianity. It’s some shapeless, relative, false religion that has no resemblance to Christ’s teachings whatsoever.

Do I expect this to be one of my more popular posts? No, not at all. But, please, keep your eyes open in your churches and your homes. Be discerning! Satan is using any and all means possible to deceive us and to render us ineffective for the cause of Christ. Don’t let that happen to you.

And so that is the story and my subsequent thoughts on switching a simple chair. And I don’t really even know the end of that story yet. I guess I’ll go try it again this morning and see if I can get used to a new normal!

Crossing the Barrier

4 Comments / June 9, 2014 June 9, 2014

What is true love?

Is it the butterflies you feel in your tummy when that cute guy or gal says a few words to you?

Is it that feeling of flying after your first date with the future love of your life?

Is it the comfortable feeling you get when surrounded by family members?

Is it shown by cards, gifts, and flowers?

What is true love?

I recently heard John MacArthur say something like this —

True love can only happen when we cross the barrier of our emotions.

Wow.

Yes. That’s it.

We can’t truly love someone until we can cross the barrier of our emotions.

Our emotions can be so misleading, can’t they? They tell us we love someone when we think good things about them or have good feelings towards them. They tell us we no longer love them when we think hateful things about them or have angry feelings towards them.

And yet true love has nothing to do with emotions. Only when we cross this enormous barrier of emotions can we experience true love.

I think it may be especially hard because we have been conditioned to live our lives based on our emotions. From easy access to abortions and no-fault divorces to the feeling-driven worship in our churches — we have based almost all of our actions on our feelings. Very little value is placed on deliberate actions taken that go against our feelings. Very little value is placed on forcing our thoughts to go a different direction than our feelings take us.

And, yet…

that leads to shallow living on all accounts. And not very much love.

God doesn’t really care about how we feel as we sway to the music of the worship team. He doesn’t care how we feel when we hold the hand of our newest love. While I am sure he delights in that, his main concern is our obedience. And obedience comes at a great price.

But only with obedience (which will mean turning away from our emotions) can we truly understand what love really is.

There are many times I do not feel like I love my husband. But those feelings always pass. I cannot rely on them to be the barometer of my love for him.

Life is hard, but it is made much harder by the fact that we base so much of our lives and life-changing decisions on our feelings.

We need to cross that barrier — and, yes, it takes purposeful and diligent work to do so — to experience true love as God designed it.

What Kind of Driver Are You?

2 Comments / June 5, 2014 June 5, 2014

What does how you drive say about you?

This morning I was headed into town when I came upon a tractor mowing the weeds along my side of the road. As he forced all the traffic to a single lane, my side waited as cars zipped by in the other lane. Finally, the two cars ahead of me cautiously passed the tractor. I looked ahead and saw a car pretty far off in the distance and decided to pass, as well.

As I did so, I noticed that, instead of slowing down, the car in the other lane sped quickly towards me, as if he was frustrated that I would move into his lane. Although, if he had just stayed the same pace, there would have been plenty of time for me to get around, causing him no inconvenience.

And I had to wonder…why would he be so selfish?

And I started thinking about this driving thing. Have you thought about how drivers have changed as our culture has changed?

I used to be able to merge quickly into a lane of oncoming traffic, because a friendly driver would wave me on through. But since we have become a much more me-centered culture, these friendly drivers are less and less frequent. And so I find myself sitting at the entry to the freeway or some other similar place just waiting and waiting.

As I thought about it, my own self-focused driving came to mind. Just yesterday, I was discussing something with my daughter as we drove home, totally in my own little world. I saw the girl waiting to cross the street but didn’t really think, “Oh, I should stop.”

As I passed her, I saw the lady in the car on the other side of the road give me a look of utter disgust. And I deserved it. It wasn’t until I saw that look that it sunk in—I should have stopped to let that girl cross. I muttered, “sorry”, as I passed by, but, of course, there was nothing I could do about it at that point. Because I didn’t know the girl or the driver I had just offended.

And that’s the thing about driving. For the most part, we are anonymous. And so how we drive says a lot about who we really are—

Are we selfish and just want to get where we are going?

Are we texting (or otherwise distracted), putting the lives of others at risk?

Do we think of the other drivers on the road with us?

Do we consider the pedestrians who need to cross a busy road?

Do we swear or curse when someone slow or annoying is ahead of us?

Do we tail the old man going at a snail’s pace ahead of us?

I remember a conversation I had with my brother years ago about this topic of driving. He said that while he used to get upset at other drivers while driving, one day he just made a decision–

“I wasn’t going to let another driver steal my peace.”

That phrase has stuck with me these many years. It comes to me when I am following someone who is going really slow and I’m running late.

It comes to me when someone pulls out in front of me.

I don’t always practice it, but I still think of it!

I have no idea what kind of driver you are. But let’s be sure to carry our faith into our cars with us so that even if we are anonymous we still leave a testimony of kindness and courtesy wherever we go.

The Snake in the Garden

Leave a Comment / June 2, 2014 June 2, 2014

Your initial thought as you read the title of this post may be that this is some philosophical observation regarding the original snake in the original garden. The title kind of lends itself to that interpretation. But if you were looking forward to that, you will be disappointed. This particular snake was in my garden. Let me tell you the story–

It was a beautiful day and I was excited to see how my garden was doing. It had been a brutal winter –much more so than usual– so I had been keeping a close eye on my fruit plants to see what had returned (amazingly, all but a couple of the blueberry bushes survived! And, honestly, those two bushes didn’t look all that healthy before winter arrived…) I had also planted some tomatoes and peppers a few days before, so I was checking on them, as well.

I walked across my yard in anticipation — and in blessed ignorance. You see, I had never once in the years I had been gardening even seen a snake among the square foot boxes my husband had built. I was almost upon the garden, when my eye caught some movement.

The 4′ (or was it longer??) striped garter snake must have been as surprised as I was! As soon as it became aware of my presence it slid away so fast that my eyes couldn’t even follow it. At that point, I realized that I had no idea where its den was or where it regularly spends its days.

Now. This was certainly a new and rather dreadful thing to ponder. It meant that in my garden–at any moment!– I could come upon one of these detestable creatures.

Of course I knew there were a few harmless snakes about our property. This was not a surprise to me. But I did not know that they spent any time in my garden. I thought they kept themselves hidden far away from the areas where I live and work. That day I was made aware that this assumption was rather naive and demonstrated my ignorance.

And the next time I approached that garden it was with my eyes wide open and the expectation that there may be a snake there.

In fact, any time I go to the garden now, it is with a whole new outlook. No longer do I feel blissfully safe from reptiles, but, instead, I am fully aware that I may very well be surprised by one of those slithering creatures that give me the heebie-jeebies and I’d better prepare myself for it!

Ahhh–as so often happens– this incident brought an analogy readily to mind. I couldn’t help but compare this to our spiritual lives. You will often hear people say that they only want to focus on God’s love and the good things in life. Let’s just ignore Satan, demons, and anything negative. Pretend like it’s not there.

The problem with this is that just because we ignore him doesn’t mean he isn’t there. Just because we pretend he doesn’t exist, doesn’t mean he isn’t prowling about, working behind the scenes. When we are fully aware of his presence and that he is seeking to devour and destroy, we will approach our lives and ministries differently. If we live in blissful ignorance and pretend he’s not there, we become very vulnerable to his bite.

And –quite unlike a harmless garter snake bite– Satan’s bite is of the worst kind, filled with deadly poison. We can’t afford to live in ignorance but, instead, need to recognize that we are in a world where we have an enemy. Things are not all good and happy and “hunky-dory”, nor will they ever be until we reach our home in glory (Revelation 21:1-4).

The snake in my garden was a great reminder that danger lurks everywhere and just because we don’t see it, doesn’t mean it isn’t there. I’d better make sure I have my armor on so that I can withstand the arrows pointed at me (Ephesians 6:11).

2 Corinthians 2:11
2 Corinthians 11:14
I Peter 5:8

Bad Passion

Leave a Comment / May 27, 2014 May 27, 2014

I first noticed the lady sitting over in the waiting area. I didn’t think too much about her, except to feel bad that my Ukrainian friend, my mother, and I were keeping all the nail salon workers busy as they gave us pedicures. She would have to wait awhile.

But before the owner of the salon started my friend’s pedicure, she ran the water for the lady’s pedicure in the chair that sat directly across from mine and directed her to come back, relax in the massage chair, and put her feet in the warm water while she waited.

I watched as she settled in with a magazine. She had short, steel-colored hair, dark tanned skin, and didn’t seem to smile much. I turned my attention back to my friend and mom and didn’t give her much thought after that.

As we sat there, relaxing, our conversation covered many topics. We were thoroughly enjoying one another’s company, especially since we hadn’t all been together for three years.

After awhile, the salon owner started asking us questions about our lives and we reciprocated interest in her life, as well. She shared that she had moved to the United States from Viet Nam when she was 36. That was twelve years ago and she had spent her first couple of years in a different state. She then went on to share how the people in our current town were so much friendlier and seemingly a lot less worried about classes and status than where she had come from.

At that point, I made some kind of light-hearted statement about life being way too short to be worried about how much money someone makes or what family they come from.

Well.

That must have lit a fire under the chair of the lady across from me. Her face became animated as, unasked, she joined our conversation, agreeing with what I had said. She then went on to vehemently state how much she hates the area we live in. In fact, she had moved away many years ago and sounded like that was the best decision she had ever made. She listed about a dozen reasons of why she hated her hometown. Actually, they were pretty much all the same reason, stated in a variety of ways. This went on for an inordinate amount of time and was rather annoying as she continued to bash our town with gusto.

She went on to tell us that her father used to be some high-up executive in the local factory and how people use you when you are in a position like that.

Aha. Now we were getting somewhere. I made an educated guess that someone had used her to get something from her father and, judging by her reaction, it had caused a deep and painful gash in her heart.

As we sat with our toes under the UV light a little later, leaving Miss Negative in her chair at the back of the salon, we put our heads together and whispered about how odd that experience was. My dear Ukrainian friend summed it up best: “She had so much Bad Passion!”

Oh, what a great way to put it. This bitter woman was filled with “bad passion”. I wondered what had caused all of that hurt and bitterness directed towards an inanimate town and all of its inhabitants. Now I have met a few snobs (and worse) in my years here, but I’ve met an awful lot of really nice people, too. Unfortunately, this woman has closed her eyes to anything good from her hometown.

As I thought about this woman later on, I just felt pity for her.

All of us get hurt. All of us get used. This is especially true if you have something other people do not. If you have more money, more beauty, more talent, more connections, more anything, you can be pretty sure someone will use you. If you don’t know how to say no, someone will probably use you. And almost all of us get betrayed at one time or another. This is life. At least here on earth.

But we shouldn’t let these incidents color our whole world black. There are still lots of good people and good things for which to be thankful.

While this lady ranted on and on, I smiled and nodded, not saying much. Truthfully, I was at a loss as to what to say. After we left the salon, we talked about what we should have said.

But my mom summed it up pretty well, “she was the kind that wouldn’t have listened, anyway.” And my mom did have a point. This bitter woman’s negative viewpoint did seem firmly embedded in her heart and mind.

Oh, the sweeping accusations and generalizations we make when we get hurt. We not only hurt ourselves, but we end up hurting others, too.

Why do we do this? Why do we allow one or two or ten people to change how we feel about a whole town? Or a whole race? Or a whole state? We really need to open our eyes to just how foolish this is.

And I go back to my original statement: Life is just too short for stuff like this.

When Worry Overtakes Us

2 Comments / May 22, 2014 May 22, 2014

Sometimes fear just grips us. The “what-if’s” crowd our mind and, if we aren’t careful, we become enveloped by worry and doubts.

There are so many things to worry about, aren’t there?

Health

Finances

Children

Our government

Our culture

What others think of us

Job situation

Church situation

Relationships

Really, there is no end to the list of things we can worry about.

I can’t remember if I shared this before on the blog, but I want you to know that as a young woman I had an all-out battle with my flesh over this sin of worry (yes, I called it a sin). I would lay trembling and sweating in my bed because I was so scared of something that “could” happen. My mind would dwell for hours on the “what-ifs” and I would waste much God-given time on these thoughts. They were all-encompassing and would render me helpless.

This lasted for many years. Oh, I still lived a normal life and most people had no idea of what was going on inside my head. But I knew that the chains of worry had wrapped me tight and that I desperately needed to break free.

That was years ago, but I was reminded of this battle recently as this sin has loomed onto my horizon again after all these years.

I think as we get older, the things to worry about almost multiply and grow bigger. Instead of worrying about a child’s safety, we start worrying more about their eternal destiny. Along with worrying about finances, we become fully aware that we aren’t going to live forever and we can start worrying more about our health and death. Reality hits us square in the face and we see that there aren’t many happy endings in this world. Grandchildren bring more loved ones to worry about. And, of course, if we listen to the news, there is no end of things to worry about.

As a young woman, I was able to overcome this sin of worry through prayer and the Holy Spirit. Through that battle I learned some practical ways that helped me on a daily–even hourly– basis–

1. I ask myself “What’s the worst that can happen?” Sometimes the worst that can happen is really awful (at that point I move on to 2 and 3), but many times it is just something that is silly. For instance, if I need to speak or play a piano solo I can get really worried about messing up. But if I realize that the worst that can happen is that I make a fool of myself and then life moves on, it helps me to put that particular worry into perspective.

2. Train my mind to turn away from thoughts of “what if?” This was not easy to do, but once I developed this habit, it was by far the most helpful thing for me in this battle with worry. When my mind would start dwelling on the health issue and turn toward all its possible outcomes or when my mind would think about problems I was having with a child and then toward what that could mean for the child’s future, I trained myself to just stop thinking about the future and come back to the present. Now, I do recognize that is SO much easier to write than to do. But it is possible.

And one more thing to add here. Many years after my initial battle with worry, I realized that I started feeling heavy with worry after I would watch the news. The sad stories would depress me and the reports of random violence and increased socialism in this country would fill my heart with fear. At that point, I made the choice to stop watching the news. Oh, I still keep up with the important stuff, mostly via my family (who tell me anything going on that is news-worthy). But I made a conscious decision to stop watching on a nightly basis because of my personal battle with worry. Some of you can handle it just fine and that’s good. But I couldn’t.

3. Acknowledge and submit to the sovereignty of God. My brother (Pastor Dean) says that this is one of the most important aspects in our walk with God. As I have been studying scripture on my own, I realize that he is right. We cannot even be saved without this. Humility (by recognizing our sinful state) is the first step of salvation. But it doesn’t end with salvation. We continue to submit to God’s sovereignty as we walk with Him. It is the only way to have peace and joy and freedom from this sin of worry.

(As we grow older, it does help that we have experiences of God’s faithfulness to us during the hard times. We can see how He worked through difficult and heart-breaking situations and brought us through to the other side. Sometimes we can see the good that came out of those situations, but many times we can’t. But we recognize His strength and comfort and peace during that time and it helps us to face the next difficult time that comes along. Reading biographies of Christian men and women or having conversations with them is also very faith-building. God has worked in incredible ways through some very impossible circumstances.)

There is so much more that could be written about the sovereignty of God. If this is something you struggle with, I would suggest you read the book: The Sovereignty of God by A.W. Pink. This helped me tremendously to have a better understanding of God’s sovereignty. In fact, this book was so helpful, it is included on my Books Worth Reading page.

These three things helped me tremendously as a young woman and for many years I didn’t really struggle with worry. But it reared its ugly head again just recently, as my mind started dwelling on all of the changes we are experiencing in this country and the ramifications of these changes. I find myself going back to square one and trying to put into practice these three things once again. I thought I’d share them here, in hopes that you, too, might find them helpful.

Do you struggle with worry? Do you have something to add to this list that might help us, too? I would love to hear how you have overcome your battle with this sin.

What Would You Do?

2 Comments / May 19, 2014 May 19, 2014

For years and years, we have lived in relative comfort as believers in the Westernized world. This is actually rather an unusual circumstance, if you study any history at all. True believers have been persecuted throughout almost all of history and many are being persecuted today in other parts of the world, as well. We have been so blessed.

Or have we?

While I do think it is an awesome blessing to not have had to suffer the loss of our lives, well-being, and material possessions, I do wonder if we can really know how spiritually strong we are without persecution?

I just finished a book over the weekend entitled Things We Couldn’t Say by Diet Eman. In it, Diet tells of her experience in the Dutch Resistance Movement during World War II. This books unfolds a little-known and fascinating piece of history and I highly recommend it.

But what really surprised me — or maybe really did not surprise me — was the fact that so many people who called themselves Christians didn’t do a thing to help the Jews. To them, the lives of God’s chosen people were not important enough to risk their own.

And I just have to wonder…

What would I have done?

I want to think that I would have gladly dug a little hidden basement or false wall in order to save a few from a horrible death. And I do think I would have. But then I have to ponder– would I really have been courageous enough?

Or let’s turn our thoughts to Africa and the Middle East, to any Muslim country, where a profession of faith in Jesus Christ is a death sentence. I just heard of a young, pregnant woman who was sentenced to death for her choice to follow Christianity. This is not uncommon. When Muslims accept Jesus Christ, they are basically saying that He means more to them than their life. Could we say that?

What if you knew that tomorrow you would be arrested and imprisoned for following Jesus Christ? What would you do? What if you knew that your life and the lives of your family members could possibly be at stake. Would you still choose to call yourself a Christian?

You may say, “Well, why even bother talking about that? That isn’t my situation.” Sure, this is purely hypothetical at this point so why even bother discussing it? But I do believe this discussion can help us to think through some things. I want to think about this right now in my own life for two reasons–

1) I want to be prepared if (or should I say when?) persecution comes. And so I have to think what I can do right now to prepare myself for it. I believe that to stand strong in suffering and persecution I need to have very deep roots grown in the soil of biblical Truth. I want to study God’s Word and hide it in my heart. I want to know God well and be trusting Him now, in the small stuff of life. I want to lean on Him, fellowship with Him, and have Him as my highest priority right now so that my relationship with God is mature and my faith is built on the solid foundation of The Word when suffering comes.

2) The winds are a-changing and the persecution that we have eluded for so long seems to not be such an impossibility anymore. Clouds are appearing slowly (or not so slowly) on the horizon. The sky is darkening and we can feel the heaviness in the atmosphere. Unless something changes drastically, it won’t be long now.

And I have to ask myself: Will I be ready for it? Will you be ready for persecution? Will our children be ready to face what comes?

Let’s dig deep into the Word of God. Let’s memorize scripture. Let’s get to know God on a deep level. The time for casual Christianity is over (not that there is ever a time for that, truthfully) and we need to put on our armor and prepare ourselves for battle.

I want to stand with courage and confidence in those days. The third verse of the old hymn “Stand Up for Jesus” may just say it best–

Stand up, Stand up for Jesus!
Stand in His strength alone;
The arm of flesh will fail you,
ye dare not trust your own.
Put on the gospel armor,
each piece put on with prayer;
where duty calls or danger,
be never wanting there.