Real Life Stories

Loving the Unlovely

8 Comments / July 20, 2023

The little girl’s eyes searched the faces of the waiting adults. She made a move towards me and then saw my young, beautiful daughter standing behind me.  Her eyes lit up and she made a beeline for her.  I watched several girls come out and do the same thing–always moving towards the young, beautiful girls in our group and always passing me by.

We were in Guatemala and we were ministering to orphans. I didn’t think they would care how I looked.  But, of course, while they loved any attention they received from anyone, the young and pretty girls were a definite favorite among the little girls there.

I don’t blame them, quite honestly. I would rather hold the hand of one of them, too, if I was a child.  But I have to admit, I felt hurt and rejected. Oh, I know they didn’t mean it intentionally. Not even a bit. But it hurt, nevertheless.

Thankfully, my daughter had been looking most forward to spending time holding the babies and so I spent most of my time in the baby house cradling little ones and playing with 2 year olds, who really don’t care what you look like as long as you are fun!

But what had happened to me with the little girls got me to thinking about the people that it happens to all of the time. The disabled, the ones that make us feel uncomfortable, the unlovely ones. Do they grow used to being passed by? Does it still hurt after it happens so often?

In the baby house where we spent most of our time, they have a few special needs kids. For the first few days, I felt uncomfortable and avoided all of them. But as I watched a lady from our team love on one of these little guys, I grew braver. What could it hurt to talk to them? The turning point came when I watched one of the “special moms” (this is what the caregivers are called) play peek-a-boo with a severely disabled 15 year-old boy named Alex.  I watched his eyes light up as a big smile came over his face. And I realized that locked inside that boy was a real live person.  He would laugh and tease his “special mom” by moving his head so that she would have to lift it up again. All the while, I could see by his expression that he was having a ball.

I reflected back on what had happened to me earlier that week. How was I any different than those little girls? I would make a beeline for the beautiful babies and the cute toddlers, barely glancing towards the special needs kids.

But I was given a gift that day. An important reminder of something we should never forget: every person has value, no matter what they look like or how unlovely (inside or out) they are.  It is our job to love them, just like Jesus loves us.

After that day, I would always spend a little time with those three special needs boys. Oh, I was still a little uncomfortable– that did not just disappear–but I did it, anyway.  And, little by little, it grew more natural for me to give a big smile and say hello.

I guess it will always be our human nature to run towards the lovely. But, while we are running, may we not forget that there is a person with feelings who knows we didn’t choose them…who stands there forlorn and broken as they get passed by one more time.

John 13:34 A new commandment I give you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you are to love one another. 

John 13:35 By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another. 

John 15:12 This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. 

John 15:17 These things I command you, so that you will love one another.

Eating the Tostada

Leave a Comment / November 19, 2012

As you probably already know, I just recently got back from Guatemala. We had a wonderful time, but it was also a time of stepping out of my comfort zone in many ways. While I may appear adventurous for even going to some of you, I realized just how fearful I really am. It has to do with a tostada and the courage it took for me to eat it.

It was Sunday night. We had just spent a fascinating afternoon and evening with the families of the mountainside ghetto. I had been impressed with the Guatemalans and their incredible neatness despite their poverty-stricken conditions. They obviously worked hard and made use of what they had in creative ways. Their faces showed a warm welcome for the “gringos” that had come for a visit.

We had delivered some food and supplies to four families that were in desperate need and in each home we had heard each family’s story. Their stories were filled with things like not being able to find work and mud slides taking some of their homes with them. And yet, they smiled. Their pride and gracious hospitality in the midst of such dearth was a wonderful sight to see.

After we had climbed up and down the concrete pathways and steep steps, we had ended up at the bottom of the mountain side for a soccer game (gringos against the Guatemalans – who do you think won??) and two big candy-filled pinatas for the kids. We tried to talk to the people around us as best we could. I uttered short phrases like “¿Como se llama?” (what’s your name?) and  “¿Cuantos anos?” (How old are you?) Not speaking the language was a considerable detriment and I found myself wishing that I had worked harder at re-learning the Spanish language before going.

As we sat and watched the soccer game, a young lady brought us tostadas covered with something that looked like guacamole. Now I am fairly adventurous, but eating something that comes from a ghetto where I don’t think hygiene is all that important is WAY outside my comfort zone, so I said a polite “No gracias”. She smiled at me and walked on. But a few minutes later, one of my team members said that our Guatemalan team leader had said we should never turn down anything they offer, as it is considered very rude in their culture.

I had a quick conversation in my mind with myself. Should I? Shouldn’t I? I thought of the travel magazines I read that highly recommend some of the street stands around the world for some of the best ethnic food. Surely, this couldn’t be a whole lot worse than a street stand? I didn’t want to end up sick, but on the other hand, I didn’t want to offend the woman who kindly offered it to me. I was aware of the sacrifice it took to even offer us gringos food. And, let’s be honest, when would I ever have the chance to eat a guacamole covered tostada in a Guatemalan ghetto ever again? And so I put my doubts aside and I bit into one of the most delicious things I have ever tasted. I don’t even like guacamole – at all. But this guacamole was absolutely wonderful.  I ate it with relish.

And, surprisingly enough, no one got sick from the guacamole covered tostadas. Afterwards, as I shared my doubts with our leader, he assured us that he would not allow us to be offered anything that is not safe. I did feel better upon hearing that, but to tell you the truth, I felt so gratified that I had conquered my fear and stepped out in faith to eat something that I normally would not have touched.

Perhaps this happens in our lives in so many more ways than eating a strange food in the midst of a ghetto. Why do we so often let fear keep us from being our best selves?  Why are we so scared to try something new or different–something that may really enrich our lives or, even more importantly, help us to become more like Christ? So often we hang in our comfortable zone, keeping our distance from anything that looks slightly threatening or out of our routine.

Eating the tostada may not seem like a big deal at all for some of you, but, for me, it was a step of faith. Sure, it was just a little thing, but sometimes we grow in our faith by conquering small fears before we can take on larger ones. Fear can quickly strangle us from living life in the most fulfilling way that God would have for us. It is so important that we don’t let it hinder us from doing God’s will and enjoying the blessings that so often come with that choice!

God’s Amazing Ways

15 Comments / November 8, 2012
Guatemala City, Guatemala

Tomorrow, my 17 year old daughter and I plan to leave for Guatemala to minister at an orphanage called Dorie’s Promise, run by Forever Changed International. I have taken a few mission trips before, but always with a team. This time I connected with an orphanage down in Guatemala City and made the decision for us to go down alone.

After making that decision, I felt great trepidation in my heart. I had found the orphanage on the internet. How could I even know it was legit? I actually considered canceling. But I had had a few conversations over the phone with the woman who had started the orphanage. I had been impressed.  So we continued on with our plans, although I was still fearful.

But then God stepped in, like He so often does.  Any given week, teams from all over the country go to this orphanage to minister.  Incredibly, the week we are going is the same week a team is going from a church that is only an hour away from us!  The team could have been from Houston or Seattle or Denver, but no, God in His graciousness put us with a team that is only an hour away from us.  And so we got in touch with the leader who not only is going the same week, but has already been to the orphanage. We met for dinner and she filled us with enthusiasm for the upcoming trip. She had nothing but good to say about the orphanage.

I was thrilled and much relieved, to be honest.

Interestingly enough, the other thing that I was feeling extremely fearful about was going to an international airport alone. Our experience in the Port Au Prince airport last summer was absolutely frightening to us country bumpkins and I was terrified of a similar experience. Especially given that our men would not be there to protect us!

But God even stepped in there. The church team is actually taking the same flight from Houston as we are. Lord-willing, we will join the team in Houston to take the international flight. Isn’t God amazing to work out even the smallest details to comfort us?

And, so, it is with great anticipation that we look forward to our trip tomorrow. But it isn’t completely without fear. For my daughter and me to go so far away alone is a bit scary for me, if I am honest. And I never like being away from my family and so that part will be rather difficult, as well.

But then I think of Amy Carmichael, who left her safe and pleasant home in London to be a missionary, not for a week, but for a lifetime. Amy, who didn’t have comfortable (and speedy) airplanes to travel in, but instead crossed the ocean in a ship– a trip that took months and which often brought on terrible seasickness. And I read of the amazing ways God took care of her.

Ah, I am so pampered. It makes me feel weak and ridiculous.  If Amy and I serve the same God, what should I fear?

With that said, I would covet your prayers this upcoming week.  Pray not only for our health and safety, but please pray that we would be given opportunities to share the Gospel. For why feed their bellies, if we can’t feed their souls?  Thank you so much for praying.

P.S. I don’t know if I’ll be able to make any posts on the blog next week, but I do plan to post photos and prayer requests on my Growing4Life facebook page, which you can “like” up in the right hand corner of this page.

 

Mirror, Mirror on the wall…will you just tell me the truth?

Leave a Comment / November 1, 2012

So the other night, Eric and I joined the girls for some X-Box Kinect “quality bonding time”.  One of the girls thought it would be funny to video us with her iphone. And, let me tell you–it was funny. It was hilarious!  I looked ridiculous. We all laughed and it was all great fun. But when it was all over, there was one thing that nagged at me.

Why didn’t I look that fat when I looked in the mirror? When I get dressed in the morning, I often take a long look at myself. From the front…now turn to the side…and finally over my shoulder at the back.  And I will finally come to the conclusion that it’s not too bad. I mean I know I am a little overweight, but it could be worse, right? But let me tell you, that video didn’t lie. I was so mad at myself for believing the lie in the mirror.

Is it just me that wonders why the mirror shows a skinnier me than videos and pictures do? I think it’s really strange. But then I wondered– perhaps the same thing is going on in the rest of my life?

You see, when we look in a mirror, we often see what we want to see. We can rationalize and ignore and talk ourselves into almost anything. But when someone else comes and takes a “picture” of us–well, that is when we see the ugly truth.

Has that ever happened to you?  I know it has to me. I will be rolling along, looking pretty good to myself in my spiritual mirror. And then, quite suddenly, my husband or my children will show me my true self, either by lovingly confronting me or, more often, by getting in my {selfish} way.  Or perhaps someone will need something that I could sacrificially give and I am confronted squarely in the face with what I truly look like when it comes to care and compassion.  And then I see my true self– the one that still has so far to go.

And while I don’t usually like it, I find that, if I can put off my initial defensive response and really think about what I see, it is then that God grows and changes me. But if I just get mad and walk away…if I think that everybody else’s “picture” of who I am isn’t who I truly am…well, that is when I stay the same old me.

It is hard to hear criticism or to come face to face with areas that need change. Many times we ignore what we see. Or we rationalize our behavior: “It’s just my personality.” And, often, our initial response to someone who is lovingly confronting us is to turn the attack on the person talking to us.  “Well you do _______, so what gives you the right to judge me?”

I know all this, because I have done it.  But when I respond that way, I also know I am missing out on the blessing of God showing me the areas I need to grow.

I would like to change that picture on the video my daughter took, but I can’t. I will never like what I look like in that video. But guess what? There is the possibility to change future pictures.  But only if I face the truth.

Let’s learn to love the truth. Not only when it comes to Bible doctrine and theology, but also when it comes to ourselves. It is only when we see ourselves as we truly are that we can start becoming who we are supposed to be.

 

James 4:10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.

Proverbs 27:6-7 Open rebuke is better than love carefully concealed. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.

 

When the rains come rushing down

2 Comments / November 1, 2012

As I lay in my bed last night trying to figure out what I should write this morning, my daughter came in to say goodnight. We are expecting a major storm here today and so we are all a little nervous.  Before she left my room, she spent a few minutes saying goodnight to Belle, our little white dog. And then she said, “When the winds start to blow and the rain comes rushing down, hug Belle extra hard, ’cause she’s scared of the storms!” She was being silly, but her words struck a chord inside. I knew that God had hugged our family extra hard this year and it was time to tell you about it.

Nine months ago, almost to the day, we made the decision to leave the church we had attended for twenty-five years. I am not going to go into why we made that decision, as we love the people at that church very much and certainly wish them no ill will.  But we both knew that God had made it clear: we were to move on. We had poured our hearts and souls into that church and it is probably the hardest decision we have ever made.  And around us, the winds started to howl and the rains came rushing down. We felt alone and adrift.

We ended up settling in at a large church and decided to just sit back and take in the teaching of Pastor B. He is a godly man who teaches in such a way that all of us not only learn a lot, but also enjoy it. But each Sunday, we would go to church and sit down to listen. After the service, we would get up and we would look around. No one cared that we were there. We didn’t matter. And, lest I give the wrong idea here, let me be clear: our new church was very friendly. They really were. It was just we went from being surrounded by what felt like a comfortable family to being surrounded by strangers.

But then God did something amazing. He brought a family into our lives that truly wrapped their love and care around us. I am not sure they will ever know how much God used them in our tumultuous year. When we were in our loneliest hours, we clung to them. They probably got sick of us always making a beeline for them after any church service, being so thankful not to stand so conspicuously alone.

And slowly, but surely, God did amazing things that came out of our obedience to Him.  I would like to share just a few with you.

When we left our church, one of our secretaries for our business was our old pastor’s wife. We knew when we made our decision to leave, that we were probably going to put our business into an upheaval, as well as our lives. And, a few weeks after we left the church, she handed in her resignation. We had a crazy, terrible month and then God, as He often will, stepped up and provided a wonderful woman who we heard about through a family in our new church. The story of how she came to us and how the situation was perfect for her, as well, is almost…well, miraculous. It could have only been a God thing. She has been such a blessing to us. And then, as if that wasn’t enough, God gave us an extra blessing by bringing her hard-working nephew (also a member of our new church) to work for our company a few months ago. We would have never met either of these employees if we hadn’t switched churches.

Another really cool thing God did was orchestrate an almost instant friendship. I had spoken at a Moms’ Group at a local church last spring. As I spoke I talked about some hard things and mentioned that I had recently switched churches. After I was done, a lady came up to me and told me how much she had appreciated what I had said and we chatted for awhile. I had a feeling we could be friends. And then we realized that we now were going to the same church. Over the course of a few months, our friendship has grown and she has introduced me to several other ladies at the church.  All because I “happened” to speak where she “happened” to be.

I also have a dear friend who has supported my blogging for awhile now. She is such an encouragement to me. Her husband and mine have become friends, as they both are in the same business. We knew this family because our kids go to school together and lo and behold, this family goes to our new church, too. We have so enjoyed getting to know them better.

And, finally, I want to share with you how I have prayed for my children. That, by far, was my biggest concern in switching churches. And so I prayed. A lot. And God has answered in big ways. Oh, it is taking time, as all friendships do, but I can see friendships that are starting to blossom for each one of them.

I am humbled and oh, so thankful.

And, so, God has stepped up to provide for us in ways we could never have foreseen. The rain came rushing down and He hugged us extra hard. He provided for our needs, and even a few wants, as we stepped out in obedience into the unknown.

God is so faithful!

And, so, may I leave you with this? Don’t ever let fear keep you from obeying the Lord. Yes, you may end up in the middle of the field with the wind howling about you and the rain rushing down in a torrent, but that is when God hugs you extra hard.

Lamentations 3:22-24

Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed,
Because His compassions fail not.
23 They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
24 “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
“Therefore I hope in Him!”

Wednesday Wisdom: Every Christian’s Role

Leave a Comment / October 24, 2012

The other day I was flipping around on Sirius radio. There isn’t a whole lot on there worth listening to, so I was fairly limited in choices. I came upon Family Talk Radio and started listening to an unfamiliar voice say some very interesting things. I found out later that the pastor was Dr. Robert Jeffress from First Baptist Church in Dallas. I do not know anything about him. What I do know is that this excerpt is certainly worth sharing with you. While Dr. Jeffress was specifically addressing pastors and leaders, his words are great wisdom for all of us.  I copied down a short section to share with you:

But preaching biblically based messages on controversial topics, encouraging your members to vote, challenging laws that violate God’s laws, are just some the ways that you can fulfill your role as a prophet.

Now at the risk of offending some, let me be blunt.  Pastor, you will never be criticized by the world for building a homeless shelter, you will never be criticized by this culture for asking your members to give sacrificially to build water wells in Africa. In fact, the culture will applaud you as a pastor for doing those things because that’s what a pastor is supposed to do: encourage nice people to do nice things. That is their idea of a pastor.

No one is going to criticize you for that. But if you dare stand up and point your finger at the culture and say “This is wrong, thus saith the Lord,” you’d better be ready to suffer. You may be suffering, not the loss of your life as the Old Testament prophets did, but be prepared to suffer the loss of  your reputation, your career, your livelihood.

That’s why Paul said in Second Timothy 4, verses 2 and 5, be prepared to endure hardship. Timothy was told that if he fulfilled his role as a prophet it was going to get hard at times. But that’s the pastor’s role, not only as a preacher but as a prophet. *

He’s right, we’d better be ready to suffer, because if we are willing to live and vocalize this kind of Christianity, we are not going to be very popular.  But, then again, we should be much more worried about what God thinks than what others think, anyway.

We need to pray for our pastors and leaders, for our families and our friends, that we would all stay strong in this tide of tolerance and relativity, no matter the cost.

 

*From the sermon entitled “For Pastors Only, Part 2” by Dr. Robert Jeffress

Keep Kicking

Leave a Comment / November 7, 2018

The other day, while playing soccer, my daughter’s cleat came off. She was fighting for the ball and as she kicked, her shoe slipped off and landed a few feet away. She kept playing as best she could without one cleat. Thankfully, a couple of seconds later, the action moved a few feet away and she grabbed it and started to put it on. It was almost on, when the ball came right at her.  Girls came flocking at and around her and she stood up and she gave that soccer ball a good kick out of danger, while off went the shoe flying through the air, almost as far as the ball! We all laughed but as I watched her go about putting the shoe on properly, all the while keeping an eye on the action, I noticed she did what she always does – she gave 100 percent. It did not matter if her shoe was off or on or partly on, she just kept playing, as needed.

And then it hit me–what a great lesson for life! So many days something small happens to me and instead of responding with joy and love, I feel myself shrink inside and I withdraw or lash out. I end up laying there on the field struggling to put my shoe on, not paying attention or caring about what’s going on with anyone around me.

These little incidents happen every day to most of us. They are things like unexpected bills, internet that decides to stop working, a rude phone call or email, a disobedient or rebellious child, a vehicle that breaks down, and a scales that is showing a depressing number, just to name a few of the many things that go wrong almost every day.

Sometimes when these things happen, I find myself sinking into a well of self-pity. Why me? Why now? Poor me. Why do we let these things affect our mood?  Instead, we should be putting that shoe back on, all the while keeping an eye out for what’s going in the rest of life’s game. However, sadly, many of us end up laying on the field, holding our shoe, and crying for someone to pay attention to our woes.

Oswald Chambers says this about self-pity:

“Self-pity is of the devil, and if I wallow in it I cannot be used by God for His purpose in the world.”

And I will add this by Elisabeth Elliot:

“Self-pity is a death that has no resurrection, a sinkhole from which no rescuing hand can drag you because you have chosen to sink.”

Have you ever given thought to just how dangerous it is to sit on the field of life and pity yourself? God is always working on me and this week He has helped me to see that taking a break to lick my wounds and say “woe is me!” just isn’t an option for a Christian. No matter what happens to me, I need to keep going.

Okay, so some days it isn’t just a shoe. Last spring, my other daughter took a soccer ball to the wrist during a game. She kept going, but I could see she was in a lot of pain, until finally she told her coach to take her out. She got some Advil and went back in the second half. We found out later that the excruciating pain was due to a broken bone and she was out for a good part of the season. But she kept going to all of the games and sat on the sidelines, cheering and encouraging the girls.

We get broken bones, too, sometimes. Terrible, painful things happen to us, things like disease, death, lost jobs, and broken relationships. Sometimes we need to pull back from life and work through our grief and pain. And so we sit on the sideline for a temporary time, until such a time that we are healed enough to return to the game.

God uses so many things to help us become more like Jesus. Big trials and small annoyances. But if we are wallowing in self-pity, we will never have the opportunity to figure out what he is trying to teach us. Self-pity is a danger to our soul. May we never forget it!

 

 

Can you see that ant?

2 Comments / October 15, 2012
There is an ant here. Can you see it?

 

We recently installed granite in our kitchen. It is a lovely variegated stone with tans and creams and black.  And while I absolutely love how the granite looks, I realized that there is now an awful lot that I can’t see. It is so good at hiding dirt that it is hard to tell that there is any unless you rub your hand across it and feel the gritty surface.

This fall has brought an onslaught of ants to our kitchen sink area and, like you may have already guessed, they are hard to spot on our new counters. They hurry and scurry across the surface, but I really have to look to find them in the multicolored granite.  Now, when my counter tops were a single light color I could easily spot any insect invader.

Hmmm…those ants remind me of sins that go unnoticed in my life, if I am trying to live with one foot in the world and one foot out.  When I am caught up in worldly passions and interests and am trying to mix it all up with my love for Christ and holy living, then I tend to minimize or not even notice the sin in my life.  Instead of contrasting my sin against the purity of Christ, I compare my “weaknesses” and “flaws” to those of  others. “I am not as bad as they are,” I say.

And you know what? When we compare our lives to someone else’s we always have a hard time finding our own sin. It’s there, but it’s like a little miniscule ant getting lost in the big world full of sinners. But when I look towards Christ, my sin all of a sudden shows clearly, like a giant spot of black grease on a white shirt.

I have been thinking about this a lot recently and, to tell you the truth, sometimes it can be overwhelming. When I compare myself to the purity of Christ it isn’t hard to see how and why I don’t measure up in God’s eyes in a thousand different ways. But that makes salvation all the more glorious!  This is one reason it is so important to see my own sin clearly. But not only does this help me appreciate my Savior more, it also gives me an opportunity to show the world that there is victory over sin!

So many of us live in a constant state of defeat. We languish in bad habits and hurtful attitudes for our whole lives. Why?

*Eric Ludy says this: “We are so used to hearing futility, we are so used to hearing about the failure, and we know the failure in our own life, that we don’t believe in victory anymore.”

I believe that’s true.

But it is only by acknowledging sin that we can even begin the journey to victory. And sin, especially in the life of a Christian, can be subtle and hidden.  Oh, God will show us if we are looking for it, but if we aren’t, it tends to get lost in our worldly lifestyles, just like the ants on my granite counter top.

May we be wholly devoted to becoming like Jesus. May we throw away our pride and our rebellion, so that we may instead be aware of the sin in our life, and then repent  and grow as a believer. May we truly understand just how sinful we are so that we can better understand just how awesome our Savior is! And may we show a dying world that there is victory over sin!

 

I Corinthians 15:56-58 The sting of death is sin, and the strength of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord.

 

*Eric Ludy “The Spirit is Willing” 

Who Do You Look Like?

Leave a Comment / November 1, 2012

When my son was just a little boy, he used to play little league baseball. One day, as I was chatting on the sidelines with one of the moms, she said something like this, “Oh, I know who you look like! I have been trying to think of who you look like and now I have figured it out!” I looked at her, very curious to hear who she thought I resembled. Her next words could have knocked me over with a feather.

“You look just like Cindy Crawford!”

What?? That is the first (and last!) time that anyone has ever compared me to a beautiful model.  But I certainly felt honored. I knew this was a situation where she had no need to flatter or impress me, so I knew she had said it sincerely.

As I remembered this incident the other day, I thought about how my heart’s desire shouldn’t be for people to tell me I look like Cindy Crawford (or any other well-known, gorgeous woman) but, instead, to tell me that I look like Jesus.

Now, while I will never resemble Jesus physically, as he is a man from the middle east, I can resemble him by my actions. As we grow in Christ, we should grow more and more like Him.

Stop and take a minute to think about your life. I know for my own life, there are many areas in which I haven’t resembled Jesus at all.

Here are a few areas for us to think about —

1. Do I look like Jesus in how I love others? Look, anyone can feed orphans or go on a mission trip. I am not talking about the socially acceptable “love for others”, I am talking about the love for others we show in our everyday world.  The reactions and choices we make around our families and in our daily living. When a spouse needs some help and we are lying comfortably on the sofa, do we get up? When there is an interruption to a favorite TV show, do we grow quickly frustrated? When we are in a long line at the store, do we give the clerk an angry look or shower her with frustrated words? If someone criticizes you, do you grow defensive or hold a grudge? All of these are just normal, everyday occurrences, where we have the opportunity to look like Jesus…or not.

2. Do I look like Jesus in what I choose to do with my time? This question covers a lot of ground, doesn’t it? Would Jesus spend so much time on _________? (you fill in the blank with your favorite, time-consuming hobby or pastime). Would Jesus spend so many hours doing this, if there is no eternal value? Of course, there is nothing wrong with hobbies, but we do need to keep it all balanced. It also covers this question: do I spend my precious hours on entertainment that will make others think of Jesus? Or do I waste hours and hours on movies, video games, and listening to music that is against everything my precious Savior stands for?

3. Do I look like Jesus in the area of self-disicpline? This is a challenging question that encompasses two big areas: money and food. I covered the question of food in my recent post entitled The Sin No One Wants to Talk About, so I will move on to the other area– money. This is a challenging one. Money is one of those things where we can hide our true state of affairs. In this age of credit and debt, no one really knows how anyone is doing financially until they completely crash and burn. But, whether we make a little or a lot, we need to ask ourselves if we look like Jesus in how we spend our money. Are we focused on the here and now or are we focused on the eternal? Jesus was very clearly focused on the eternal, which is clear in scripture. So, in order to grow more like Christ, my priorities should be the same.

4. Do I look like Jesus in the words I speak? Words are so powerful. They can cut to the core. I have always thought that the old adage “sticks and stones can hurt my bones, but words will never hurt me,” to be one of the dumbest things I have ever heard. Word do hurt– dreadfully. Whether we are talking about someone else behind his back (otherwise known as gossip) or are short-tempered and unkind to someone’s face, words are one of the quickest ways to tell if we resemble Jesus.

 

I don’t know about you, but I see much room for growth in many areas of my own life. In fact, I feel like the older I get, the more work I see ahead of me. But when I look back, I also see that I have come so far. And so, I will keep on going. I know I may not look like Cindy Crawford anymore — it is my guess that, to most people, I never did in the first place — but oh, how I hope I resemble Jesus more and more as I grow older.

I Peter 2:5-11

 But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, 6 to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, 7 to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love. 8 For if these things are yours and abound, you will be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 For he who lacks these things is shortsighted, even to blindness, and has forgotten that he was cleansed from his old sins.10 Therefore, brethren, be even more diligent to make your call and election sure, for if you do these things you will never stumble; 11 for so an entrance will be supplied to you abundantly into the everlasting kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

You are judging me for…that??

Leave a Comment / September 22, 2016

I will never forget this one time that I was at a friend’s house. She offered one of my kids a pop-tart and a glass of milk. We weren’t big milk drinkers (still aren’t, in fact) and so I asked for a glass of orange juice for them, instead. You would have thought I said I was going to have an affair with the mailman.

“You drink orange juice with your pop-tart?! NO ONE drinks orange juice with a pop-tart. You have to drink milk!”

I was so taken aback. I mean – does it really matter what our family chooses to drink with our pop-tarts?

We Christians do this stuff ALL THE TIME. We judge others on the dumbest stuff.

We judge on —

–clothing styles (can you believe she got that dressed up to go there?)

–food choices (I can’t believe they go to fast food restaurants so often)

–cars (He must really be arrogant to drive that car)

–shopping choices (did you see the color of that stroller?)

–words (that was certainly an unintelligent thing to say to his boss)

–decor (that is the ugliest lamp I have ever seen!)

The list could go on and on. I have heard and made judgments about others more times than I can count. But when we stop to think about it, none of that stuff above really matters. Thankfully, God made us all differently and that means that she might like that lamp or the color of that stroller. Perhaps he is driving that car without any sense of arrogance, but instead gratitude towards God for allowing him the privilege to drive it. Perhaps that family chose to go for fast food several times in one week because of a busy schedule and rarely does that.

Ironically, oftentimes, those who judge the harshest on the things that don’t matter completely ignore the things that do matter. And so if someone dares to question a choice that would affect their relationship with God or their personal holiness, the cries of “you are judgmental!” leap from their lips.

For some reason, we have it all backwards in this Christian culture. It’s okay to judge others regarding the stuff that doesn’t matter, but how dare we judge the things that DO matter?

But God tells us in Matthew 16, that we will be able to tell believers and non-believers apart by their fruit. That means that we have to be judging the fruit in order to determine if it is good or bad. We are to be loving, kind, and patient…but we are to look for fruit.  He also tells us in Galatians 6 to restore a brother gently if he is overtaken by a trespass. We cannot do this without looking at the fruit of our Christian brothers and sisters…what so many people like to call “judging”.

Look, I am not condoning that we all go out and conduct a mass judgement on our brothers and sisters in the Lord regarding their spiritual fruits. What I am saying is that A) we should never judge on the stuff that doesn’t matter and B) We need to carefully pray over and confront, if necessary, the stuff that does matter.

Oh, and one more thing–we can’t know what really matters to God if we don’t read His word. There is a lot of leftover legalism that is thrown around yet and so we need to be in God’s word and learning to know Him, so that we can truly understand what sin is and what holiness is and what it really means to please our Father in heaven.

Let’s offer so much grace for the stuff that doesn’t matter. I mean who really cares, anyway? We wouldn’t want to all be alike, now would we?

And let’s offer love and kindness if we do see a sin that needs confronted.

And, most importantly, let’s offer humility if we are the one in sin who gets confronted.

In my opinion, if every Christian would put these three things in practice it would change the entire culture of the church.

Galatians 6:1-2  Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

Matthew 7:13-20 Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it. Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thorn bushes or figs from thistles? Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Therefore by their fruits you will know them.

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