growing in christ – Page 8

The Smallest Crack

5 Comments / May 10, 2018 May 10, 2018

If you live in the country you know that mice can get in the smallest, teeniest, tiniest crack there is. They can slip under a door or scurry through a small hole in the wall. They will find any area that has not been sealed properly. Even when you think you have everything boarded up tight, you will find that mice will often find a way in. Especially in the fall when it’s starting to get cold.

As I was finishing up the final chapter of a *Bible Study based on the book of James last week, there was a list of questions given at the end that made me realize that pride is just like that mouse. It slips in quietly, often unnoticed, in the unsealed places of our hearts and minds. We had spent the last several chapters of the study learning about biblical humility and pride. James does not mince words, as we can see in chapter 4, verses 6–

But He gives more grace. Therefore He says:

“God resists the proud,
But gives grace to the humble.”

God resists the proud. And He gives grace to the humble. We already know this. But have we given thought recently to just how pride will slip in through even the smallest crack in our spiritual armor? It slithers in unbeknownst to us while we are patting ourselves on the back for not being prideful. It slides down into our hearts when we are least expecting it. Compliments and applaud and rewards make us even more vulnerable.

The more I study the Bible, the more I understand these three things: 1) how much God hates pride 2) just how deadly pride is to godly, righteous living and 3) how susceptible I am to it at all times.

As I worked on that final chapter and read through those questions, I thought that you all might appreciate this, as well. I think these questions are very revealing. They help us understand that pride isn’t simply boasting or having an arrogant attitude. It is so very much more than that, as we will see by this list of questions. At the end of the final chapter of his Bible Study on James, Steve Pettit says this–

Sometimes we view humility as the absence of outrageous vanity and boasting. But evaluating our pride should go much deeper than such surface observations. Consider the following questions (I have added a few comments in parentheses):

1. Am I a critical person?

2. Do I regularly question authority?

3. Do I make fun of weaker, less privileged people?

4. Do I treat people differently based on their status? (Or on their wealth or their position in the company where I work or their leadership role at church?)

5. Am I dissatisfied with God’s Word as sufficient for life and godliness? (Or do I crave a supernatural experience that will make me feel special and important?)

6. Do I make plans without making the Lord the center of my life?

7. Do I shift blame instead of taking responsibility for my actions? (Do I get defensive if someone confronts me?)

8. Do I widely proclaim my views but rarely listen? (At home, at work, at church, on the sidelines–am I more concerned with being heard or with hearing others?)

9. Do I hold grudges instead of extending forgiveness?

10. Do I put up a front instead of confessing my faults to those who can help? (Do I confess my sins to God? To others? Am I willing to humbly apologize?)

11. Do I pray sparingly? (Lack of prayer indicates that we believe we can do life on our own.)

I don’t know about you, but this is quite a list! How did you do? Were you as convicted as me?? Does this list help you recognize that pride is something very real in your life? That it has seeped into the cracks of your armor–even when you didn’t realize it? Like that tiny mouse or a slithering poisonous snake, it slides through the smallest crack and takes up residence in our heart before we even know it.

Pettit gives this final paragraph–

The point of these questions is not to drive you to simply to do better. Answering yes to some of these questions is the first step toward repentance and receiving God’s grace, because a humble person is honest. He understands what David confessed–that God wants us to have integrity in our hearts (Psalm 51:6). Recognizing spiritual unfaithfulness and pride does not mean we pull ourselves up by our own bootstraps. It means running to Christ for superabundant grace. It means humbling ourselves to get back on the path of wisdom from above.

We have to face the fact that we can’t fix ourselves. In this day and age of self-help, we think we should be able to. Removing ourselves from the path of earthly, human wisdom means discarding our pride and putting on humility, recognizing that only God can give us the grace and strength we need for permanent change and righteous living.

And then we must remain in the Word and keep our eyes open because that deadly pride will slip in through the cracks once again, as soon as we leave even the slightest chink in our armor. We will see it when we argue with our spouse. It will crop up when someone criticizes something we did. And when we are tempted to criticize someone else. It rears its ugly head when we are hurt and rejected, when someone tells us what to do, when someone compliments us, or when we get too busy to pray. It is a constant danger to all believers and we must be on the lookout at all times.

So, over the next few days, let’s reflect on how pride tends to manifest itself in our own lives. Let’s ask the Lord to grow us in humility. Let’s be sure to keep our spiritual armor on (Ephesians 6:10-20), so that we may withstand those arrows of temptation thrown at us every day. And let’s thoroughly and regularly examine our spiritual armor for chinks and gaps so that– while we are busy defending ourselves from the “bigger sins”–pride doesn’t slip in, quiet as a mouse, and take up residence in our hearts.

*From Wisdom from Above: A Study in James by Steve Pettit

How to Have a Productive Quiet Time

2 Comments / April 26, 2018 April 26, 2018

As believers, we recognize the value of a quiet time each day with the Lord. While we aren’t commanded anywhere specifically to have this time, the Bible does tell us to meditate on and to delight in the Word (Psalm 1:2; Psalm 19; Psalm 119) and to spend time in our closets in prayer (Matthew 6:6).

From the time I was a little child, I remember being encouraged to have my “devotions”, in which I would read from a book that would give a few verses and then a paragraph or two about those verses. The older I got, the more I recognized that many of those devotional books aren’t real meat. While there isn’t anything wrong with some of them, they are more like a dessert. Most aren’t giving enough scripture to be the meat we need for our sustenance as a growing believer. But they are easier and so we like them. We can read the portion for the day and then check “quiet time” off our day’s to-do list.

It wasn’t until I started reading the actual Bible every day that I started to really grow. But, let’s be honest, Satan doesn’t want us in the Word. Since the power for life and godliness is within its pages, he wants to do all he can to keep us out of it. Biblical illiteracy and neglect renders us ineffective for Jesus Christ’s purposes and it often keeps us imprisoned by sin. (For those of us who would point fingers at the “obvious” sins, don’t forget that a complaining or anxious or selfish heart is also sin…very real temptations for all of us!)

And so as we start studying the Word in a deeper way and spending more time in prayer, what can we do to make sure our quiet time is as productive as possible? I thought I would break this down a bit today and offer a few helpful suggestions. Interestingly enough, this post is born out of my own distractions the other day. I started thinking about this while I was supposed to be having my quiet time!! Anyway…here are six things that may be keeping us from having the best quiet time we can have–

1. Life

Life is just busy. Sports schedules, workouts and training, committee meetings, church activities, jobs–all of these can wear us out and distract us from our relationship with the Lord. If we have preschool or home-schooled children, it can add a whole different dynamic to this idea of finding a half hour to dedicate to this. How do we keep from being distracted by life duties and pressures? Here are a few suggestions–

First, plan a time. Morning, evening, afternoon–it doesn’t really matter. But plan it like you plan your workout or coffee with a friend or your favorite TV show. If you say you don’t have time, then I encourage you to examine your schedule to see what you can eliminate. Nothing should be more important than this. Sure, some of us are temporarily caught up in a whirlwind of activity beyond our control, but that is not the case for most of us. If you have kids at home, designate a quiet time for all of you. I did this when I home-schooled and it became the hour that energized me for the rest of the day. At 1pm every day the children would go to their rooms. They didn’t have to sleep but they did have to look at or read books or quietly rest. And then I would have my quiet time. Or at least that was the idea–but, instead, I’d often be distracted by my “to-do” list. Which leads me to…

Second, make your time with the Lord a priority. Recognize the value in spending time with Him and realize that whatever is calling your name is not more important than your time with Him. I look back and can see this now. I hope I can encourage you to not make the same mistake I did!

2. Feelings

Feelings can be SO deceiving. And think of how often we obey them! We think if we don’t feel like praying or getting in the Word, then it is perfectly fine not to do so. I struggle with this so much. And, yet, I find that when I ignore my feelings and do it anyway, my feelings soon tag along afterwards and I am so glad that I moved ahead and did the right thing, despite my feelings. This is worthy of a blog post alone because this is what is driving so many choices regarding all of life! If we can say NO to our feelings and YES to doing the right thing, we will have won a HUGE victory in our battle with the flesh.

3. Technology

Have you ever been in the middle of praying when suddenly you hear that little ding or buzz go off on the table beside you? Your curiosity drives you to look at your phone–interrupting your prayer time. Or perhaps you are reading scripture and it brings something to mind you want to look up…and since your phone or tablet is right beside you and you can look anything up at any time…

I confess that this is something I really struggle with. I have learned it is best for me to keep my phone and iPad in a different room when I am praying and reading my Bible every morning.

Technology is a wonderful thing, but it is also a very exacting taskmaster. We have become enslaved to our phones and instant communication. We believe it is our responsibility to be available to everyone at all times. But will the world really stop if we don’t respond for 30 minutes?

This is such a struggle for me. Did I mention that? Sometimes I really long for the old days–at least when it comes to having my quiet time…

4. Self-Absorption

Track with me here as I unpack this one. I have recognized that my quiet time can often be overtaken by my absorption with myself. Whether it’s reading the scripture, greedily searching for some personal comfort or it’s my prayer time being consumed with my own selfish desires, I find I quickly fall into the trap of selfishness during my quiet time. This attitude will keep me from having a productive quiet time. A truly quality quiet time has us humble and yielded before the Lord with a heart that desires to obey. Coming before the Lord with a prideful, greedy, selfish heart will keep us from having a close relationship with the Lord–no matter how many hours we may spend with Him.

5. Sinful Attitudes

This is a bit similar to #4 but I don’t think we always see that. When we come to our quiet time with an unforgiving heart or with a grudge against someone, we are putting a wall up between us and the Lord. Walls are also built by our anxious heart (we are saying with our actions that we don’t trust the Lord), our envious or jealous heart (we are discontent with what the Lord has provided), and our prideful heart (we are saying we don’t need the Lord). These things keep us from drawing near to the Lord in spirit, even if we are physically sitting and reading the Bible.

6. Improper View of God and Man

Okay, so this is a little deeper theologically than the others, but please keep reading. I think this is really important. This really encompasses all of the above.

I believe we are often kept from a productive quiet time because we don’t really know God. We don’t give any thought to the fact that He is omnipotent (all-powerful), omniscient (all-knowing), immutable (never-changing), and absolutely sovereign. We don’t have a big enough view of Him and we treat Him like a casual friend. Yes, He is our friend but He is so much more than that! He is God! We should have reverence and godly fear when we approach Him.

And, then, we have a wrong view of self. We have nothing to offer God. We couldn’t even live and breathe if God didn’t allow it. We must recognize our dependence upon God for every single thing. Realizing this naturally changes how we approach scripture and prayer.

Having a proper view of God and self are so critical to a thriving and vibrant walk with the Lord. And proper views will help us navigate and eliminate the first five items on this list.

Well…

That was a lot to take in, wasn’t it? But I hope that this list of six things may give you some ideas on improving your quiet time. I know it really made me think as I wrote it. If we love God and we want to walk as closely with Him as possible, it is imperative that we make our quiet time as productive as we possibly can.

How Do I Respond to My Enemies?

2 Comments / April 23, 2018 April 23, 2018

So often Christians find themselves at odd with other Christians. There will be two true believers who just do not agree. Whether it’s a disagreement over something as simple as a remodeling project at church or it’s a deeper issue of how a certain scripture passage should be interpreted, we will always find someone that we will disagree with about something.

What keeps two people who disagree with each other from being enemies? What brings true Christian unity?

Please keep in mind that this post is referring to unity between true believers and not to the “fake” unity that warmly embraces all perversions of the Gospel and even religions that don’t adhere to the Gospel at all to be unified under the broad term of “Christianity”. We know that this kind of unity is not biblical, according to Galatians 1:9–

As we have said before, so now I say again, if anyone preaches any other gospel to you than what you have received, let him be accursed.

But there is something that is called true, Christian unity. This unity can only exist between brothers and sisters in Christ. This kind of unity keeps us moving toward the same goals and embracing the same purpose. This unity builds bridges instead of walls. It will fill Christians with loving concern for one another instead of filling them with grudges, resentment, and jealousy.

This sounds so wonderful, doesn’t it? But it is often hard to find. Why is this?

Why does someone decide they do not like someone?

Sometimes we don’t care for someone based on a shallow, silly thing. And then there are also better reasons, based on things like biblical error or a prideful, arrogant spirit that is consistently divisive.

But we have to ask ourselves: Are any of these reasons good enough? If you were to stand before God today and tell Him your reason for not liking a certain person, would He say, “Way to go, my child. I agree with you completely.” ??

Of course we know the answer, don’t we? Because we know that God is love. We shouldn’t view anyone as an enemy, much less a brother or sister in Christ.

Romans 12:8 puts it like this–

If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.

We should, to the best of our ability, work at being at peace with everyone, believer and non-believer. This verse naturally brings two thoughts to my mind.

First, what if someone won’t be at unity with me?

Of course, since we know that the world will hate us (John 15:19), we know that it isn’t always possible to be at peace with those in the world. But sometimes it is a fellow Christian who refuses to forgive us. Or perhaps they just don’t like us but won’t tell us why. What then? These kinds of situations are heart-breaking and lead to feelings of helplessness as we try to navigate the back-biting, the whispering, and the cold shoulders.

I have a friend who taught me an important lesson about this very thing. Our daughters were playing soccer together and something happened to her little girl that could have started some real drama on the team. And this was her advice to her daughter, “kill them with kindness”. I heard her say that so often when her daughter would feel slighted or frustrated about something. And then, following her example, I started to say this to my kids. Yes, this is what we are called to do.

In fact, Jesus takes it even further in Matthew 5:43-44, telling us to love them, bless them, do good to them, and to pray for them!–

You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ ⁴⁴But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you.

This is a tall order, is it not? But there it is. Commanded by Jesus in the Holy Bible. Instead of gossiping, instead of returning the coldness, instead of resentment or anger, we love, we bless, we do good things, and we pray for them.

But we do this because it is right, not because it will necessarily change anything. Let’s go back to the beginning of Romans 12:18–

“if it is possible, as much as it depends on you”

We know from these words that Paul realized it isn’t always possible. It is part of living life as a sinner, alongside sinners, in a fallen world. Sometimes we just have to follow Jesus’s words and find contentment even when there is no resolution and no forgiveness. A hard thing, indeed. But, you know what? This is just another thing that God uses to grow us and to teach us that we must find our peace and joy in Him alone.

Second, we won’t be best friends with everyone.

Even among truly unified Christian brothers and sisters, there will be those who are “kindred spirits” and those who are not. And that’s okay. But so often special friendships between Christians are viewed with resentment or jealousy. As believers we should realize that we will be better friends with some than others. It is how God designed us. Remember David and Jonathan? If you read I Samuel 18, you will realize that their friendship was very special. Once in a while, God will bring these special Christian friends into our world. They are true treasures and, instead of feeling jealous, we should be glad for others if they have found a special friend.

If we are still longing for this type of friendship, then pray and ask God to bring you a friend. I remember as a young mom feeling the need for this type of friend and so, unbeknownst to me, my mom started praying. And within a year or so of her prayers, God led me to Deb. We realized we were kindred spirits as we sat in a group of women and chatted and, shortly after, became best friends. Don’t underestimate the power of prayer if you need a friend!

And then there are those fellow Christians in our lives who could never be a kindred spirit. In fact, some of them drive us a little crazy. We may feel guilty if we don’t appreciate a Christian brother or sister like we know we should. What then?

God made us all different and certain personalities may grate on us. We may find them hard to get along with or their mannerisms alone might irritate us. They may be boastful or arrogant.

But if we take a look at Philippians 2:1-2, we have to acknowledge that God doesn’t give us any caveat for difficult people–

Therefore if there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, ²fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind.

We are to be like-minded with all Christians–as much as it depends on us. We obviously can’t control the other person.

So how do we do this? How can we be like-minded? These verses show us–we have the same love, the same accord, the same mind as our fellow Christians. This can only be done if we are diligently studying the scriptures together, submitting our desires and wills to God, joyfully obeying the commands we find there, while increasing our knowledge of God. When people are not getting along, it often goes back to this. Biblical illiteracy once again rears its ugly head in church matters.

And, along with knowing God’s Word, we find the oil that keeps things working together smoothly in Colossians 3:14–

And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

I Corinthians 13:4-6 gives us a description of this love that will break down barriers and bind Christians together in perfect unity–

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

And I Peter 4:8 is further confirmation of this idea that love will bring unity–

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

Even when we don’t particularly appreciate a fellow Christian, we can love them. We are commanded to love them. And we should thank the Lord for them, for they are helping us to grow in patience and self-control!

Enemies are just part of life. If we are going to take any stand at all on the things that matter, we will have enemies. We cannot control how they treat us, but we can control how we treat them. And let’s intentionally work at not having needless enemies. We must back away from the stuff that doesn’t matter. Will it matter in a hundred years what color carpet is used in the church? Is a slight difference in how someone interprets the book of Revelation really a cause for division? Let’s wisely and, oh so carefully, choose our battles. Most hills we choose to stand on are just not worth dying on. We don’t always have to be right. We don’t always have to have our way. So often it just doesn’t matter.

And most of all, when we find ourselves in the midst of a heated disagreement with a fellow Christian or facing a full-blown enemy, then let’s love them. Love them, bless them, do good to them, and pray for them. If you don’t remember anything else from this post, I hope you will remember these words of Jesus.

How Do You Listen to Gossip?

6 Comments / April 19, 2018 April 19, 2018

Have you ever had one of those conversations where you are talking about a TV show like it’s really happening? The people, the situations, the happenings? I had one of those the other day and as I walked away from that conversation, I realized that we often have more loyalty for and kindness and grace towards people on TV.

I know it seems silly to even compare the two, since we are obviously personally affected by real people so that makes all the difference in the world, but it does seem sad that we can keep so level-headed and impartial when discussing TV friends and completely lose that when discussing real people.

Of course, we shouldn’t really be discussing real people most of the time. Sure, there are instances where we need to work through a problem with a trusted, godly friend or mentor, but, overall, we should not be talking about people. Ephesians 4:29 says this: Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.

But this is not a post about spreading or speaking gossip. It’s a post about listening to gossip and our subsequent actions after we’ve heard it.

So many of us hear will listen to someone talk about someone and, instead of defending them or kindly asking them to stop, we will just jump right in and join the conversation. Or we will listen without speaking while making assumptions that will change our friendship with the person being spoken about. There is no grace. No kindness. No loyalty.

Or perhaps someone will talk about someone behind their back, telling you terrible things that person said about you. What do you do? Do you do what you should?

This happened to friends of ours. But let me first give some background. We had made a really, really tough decision after much prayer and agony. Because of the nature of the decision, there were many rumors flying around about us and lies told. We know of at least three specific lies that were told about us that made their way to our ears “through the grapevine”.

But only one couple actually loved us enough to call us. The wife called and asked us specifically if we had said such-and-such about them. My heart sank when I realized that someone I had trusted had said such a vicious thing about us. But, even in my dismay, I realized that this couple–instead of believing the worst–loved us enough to confront us and ask us about it.

We lost a lot of friends through those swirls of rumors and accusations, but these two remain our friends to this day. They exemplified what true biblical love and friendship are. They didn’t believe the worst about us, as seems to be the natural thing to do, but they bravely went right to the source. They cared enough to ask.

So what do we do when we hear gossip? Do we automatically believe it? Do we jump on the bandwagon and join the fun? Do we internalize it and allow it to create a cool distance with the person who has absolutely no idea what was said behind their back?

We have to be oh, so careful of this, don’t we? So many of us who wouldn’t ever be caught gossiping just aren’t very good at listening to gossip.

So how should we listen to gossip? Let’s see what scripture says–

First, we should view them as innocent until proven guilty. If there is a personal accusation involved, ask them lovingly and kindly if the words spoken are true. If they aren’t, move on. If they are, forgive and move on. Life is just too short for grudges. It really is. (Of course, this is the “simplified model” of relationships and it doesn’t always work. Especially with those who have no evidence of the fruit of the Spirit in their lives.)

Colossians 3:12-14 Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; ¹³bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. ¹⁴But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection.

Second, we should not let it affect our relationship with them. Does it really matter? Does it affect you personally? If the answer is no (and most times it is) then just continue your relationship with that person. Remember that you don’t know any of the details at all. You don’t know the situations, the circumstances, the agony, the fear, the anxiety that was all part of that person’s journey to whatever choice they made. Unless it is something that is currently hurting you, them, or others around them, just forget you heard it. We all have done things in the past we aren’t proud of, am I right??

Luke 6:31 And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise.

Third, if what you hear is about a Christian involved in sin (such as that person is involved in an affair or addicted to a substance), prayerfully consider speaking to them about it. Talk with a trusted leader in your church or some other godly person you know to ask for their advice.

Galatians 6:1 Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted.

Fourth, pray for that person. Instead of letting gossip fill your heart with disgust or anger or frustration, let it fill your heart with love and compassion that will remind you to pray. Oh, how often we accuse, examine, and talk about without ever lifting that person up before the throne of Grace.

James 5:16 Confess your trespasses^[e] to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.

Fifth, and when appropriate, steer the conversation a different way. You be the one to change the course of the discussion. Instead of joining, be the deflector. Instead of listening, be the one who changes the direction.

Proverbs 16:24 Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, Sweetness to the soul and health to the bones.

As always, I offer this post not as someone who has this nailed down but, instead, as a lowly servant of Jesus Christ who still struggles with all of this. As I write, I can see so many weaknesses in my own handling of gossip. God’s Word powerfully convicts you and me to grow in our faith and move beyond the status quo Christianity that so easily ensnares us.

I leave you with these beautiful verses from I Corinthians 13. We most often hear these spoken at weddings, as two people pledge their lives to one another. But perhaps we should read them every day. They remind us of not only the spirit with which we should listen to gossip, but also give us a pattern for how we should treat others in every other way, as well.

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; ⁵does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; ⁶does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; ⁷bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

The Chains of “Cool”

4 Comments / April 16, 2018 April 16, 2018

I am not sure what the latest word is that would describe someone who is dressed in the latest fashions and has the latest everything. We used to say they were “cool” and then “hip”. I am not sure what that word is now. (Yes, I know I am definitely showing my age here, but hopefully you will stick with me…)

When we were teens we were so driven by peer pressure. Can you remember those days? When I was in high school, the “in” thing to have was designer jeans. Jordache, Calvin Klein, and Gloria Vanderbilt jeans were the thing to wear. We didn’t have a lot of money growing up but my mom took me school shopping late one summer and we found a good deal on Calvin Klein jeans. Wow, those jeans made me feel amazing! I finally looked “cool” (at least I thought I did–I’m not sure that anyone else thought that!)

We often think peer pressure is for young ones and goes away as we get older, but it really doesn’t. For some of us it does get better, but for many of us we continue to live driven by what people think of us.

Now, before we dig a little deeper into this subject of adult peer pressure, there is value in considering the thoughts and feelings of others. Paul talks about this in I Corinthians 8, where he is discussing things eaten to idols. In verse 9 he reminds us that we should think of others as we make choices that we have the freedom to make in Christ–

But beware lest somehow this liberty of yours become a stumbling block to those who are weak.

There are many other verses in the New Testament that would encourage us to think of and love others (check out Philippians 2:3-4, I Corinthians 13, and I John 3).

So, of course, we know we must consider the thoughts and feelings of others. But notice that these verses are always “others” centered. Every one of the verses above and any other verse you will find about how we treat others in the New Testament is based on minimizing self, while focusing our attention on the other person.

Contrast this thought to the chains of “cool” (as I call them), which are completely focused on self. They are an obsession with making sure that we are thought of highly, that people think we have it all. They bring a preoccupation with the world’s styles, trends, and happenings. These chains keep us from speaking up about God and from sharing the Gospel. They are often the driving force behind the laughs at dirty jokes and the silent participation in things we know God hates.

These chains become a prison from which no action can be done without first thinking of its affect on what people will think of us. Rather than God’s desires and looking to His Word, these chains become the driving force behind what we wear, what we watch, what we do.

They are really a tiresome and ugly taskmaster but no one seems to care all that much. Looking like everyone else around us can become such an ingrained idol, that we soon grow used to those chains, forgetting the wonderful freedom we have in Christ.

(You have to wonder what kind of role peer pressure has played in history. Was it part of how Hitler became the chancellor of Germany and convinced young people to take part in the genocide of Jews? Is it how he got the German Christians to ignore what was going on around them? It is a powerful, powerful tool in the hands of the wrong man.)

So how do we make sure that peer pressure isn’t what is driving us personally? How do we keep free from the bondage of those chains of “cool”?

The first place (and really only place) to look for answers is the Bible. It is a hard discussion to have because what the Bible teaches goes against all that the world and even the church is saying currently. The world is telling us we must be like them in order to have any respect at all. The world would have us give up all biblical convictions and cave on the most basic of principles in order to be liked by them. This has led to great compromise, as we watch more and more churches capitulate to the demands of the world. Meanwhile, the mainstream church is saying we must be like the world to win the world. The great sin of the day is irrelevance. One has to wonder how low the view of God must be for someone who perpetuates this viewpoint but it is incredibly popular. So much so that it is now woven into the thought patterns of most young people and many old ones, as well. But, as we will will see below, this is actually in opposition to what the Bible teaches.

Let’s unpack this a bit and look at what God has to say about these things.

First, let’s look at what our view of the world’s opinions should be. There are many verses that talk about how we should view the world, but I am going to share James 4:4, which makes it extremely clear–

Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.

There is no ambiguity here. You cannot be friends with the world and with God at the same time. Think of a big river. The world is headed one way and the Christian is swimming upstream in the other direction, in complete opposition to the world. We cannot be swimming downstream and still claim to be God’s child. James couldn’t be any clearer on this point.

Practically speaking, this means that while there is nothing innately wrong with dressing stylishly or going to the movies or whatever, the driving force behind our choice should never be our desire to be like everyone else. Our choices shouldn’t be driven by our fear of the world’s derision, marginalization, and persecution.

Now, if you are being honest with yourself at this point, you will agree with me that this is much easier to write and read than to live out. We are naturally driven by our desire to fit in. It takes great intention and strength to stand out like a sore thumb in the midst of a crowd. It is not an easy path. But we know it is the path of the Christian. Jesus tells us this in John 15:19–

If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.

And Paul confirms Jesus’s words in 2 Timothy 3:12–

Yes, and all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution.

These aren’t our favorite verses and I rather guess they are rarely chosen for Bible memory, and yet these are just two verses of many more that would remind us that we will not be loved by the world if we walk with Jesus Christ.

I don’t love to be reminded of this any more than you do, but it is the truth, according to the Bible.

Now, let’s look a bit at the church’s argument that we won’t win anyone to the Gospel without being like them. What does the Bible have to say about this?

The verse that always comes to mind when this discussion comes up is John 6:44–

No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him; and I will raise him up at the last day.

In this verse, Jesus reminds us that it is the Father who draws man unto Himself. There is nothing we can do to make someone become saved. Ephesians 1:3-6 further elaborates on this same theme–

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, ⁴just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, ⁵having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, ⁶to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved.

These verses teach us that the salvation of those we love and care about is not based on what we do or do not do. Now, that being said, God does choose to use us to win souls for Him. But what we must remember is that He doesn’t need us. These verses shouldn’t keep us from sharing the Gospel but they should most definitely keep us from compromising our convictions and participating in sinful things under the guise of “winning people to Christ”. God chooses to use us but He doesn’t need our compromise and dalliances with the world to further His kingdom. In contrast, James would tell us to remain unspotted from the world (James 1:27). (And may I suggest that prayer would be a much better way to win those we love. God answers prayer! It is a much more effective tool than worldliness!)

I wish I could tell you that I have never worn the chains of “cool”. I really do. But, unfortunately, sometimes before I even realize it, I find myself in bondage to them once again. Thankfully, the Word is the key that unlocks the lock to those chains. When I get back into the Word, when I stay in the Word, that is when I am least vulnerable to these chains.

If you find yourself really driven by what other people think of you, I hope that you will get into the Word and dig deeper into this subject. There is so much there that I wasn’t able to include in this short post.

Let’s unlock that lock and shake off those chains, so that we can be vibrant, courageous, and unwavering testimonies for Christ.

Releasing Our Grip

4 Comments / March 19, 2018 March 19, 2018

Who do you depend on?

Most everyone that calls themselves a Christian says “God” because they know that is the right answer. But is it really a truthful answer?

The one thing I find that an easy life breeds is dependence upon self. We don’t really have to depend upon God if we have our physical needs met, our relationships in order, and all aspects of our lives going just as planned. While we enjoy those times, it takes much more effort to be intentional and purposeful at keeping our focus on God and to remember that we rely on Him for even our very breath. Oh, don’t get me wrong–we can most certainly glorify God and grow in the good times. But it’s when we are forced to release our {supposed} control on our lives that the reality of our Christian life has the opportunity to shine with authenticity and to confirm our claims that we depend on God.

There is an old Christmas movie that ends with a little girl in great distress running out of the house and climbing up a tree to one of the top branches. The branch she is holding on to cracks and she knows she is going to fall. The man of the house comes running out and stands beneath the tree with his arms outstretched as he promises to catch her.

“Let go, Zoe,” he says, “you can trust me.”

Zoe closes her eyes, releases her grip, and, screaming all the way down, lands in the strong arms of the man.

In a way, this reminds me of our relationship with God. We are holding on to the world. So. Tightly. And we are doing fine. Even better than fine. Some of us even make a comfortable nest in the tree, not recognizing the frailty of the branch that is holding us. And then the wind starts to howl. Sometimes we can see the storm on the horizon and we have time to prepare or sometimes it comes without any warning at all. But, no matter how it comes, we end up with a cracked branch. And, suddenly, we are forced to recognize our vulnerable state. But right below us is our Heavenly Father with outstretched arms, coaxing us to release our grip and promising to catch us.

All of our failures, our broken relationships, the hard times–God uses each one to release our grip on this world just a little bit more. Some of them send us falling into His safe and strong arms. At least for a little while. But then, if we aren’t careful, we find ourselves scurrying right back up into that tree that represents all of the things of this temporal world.

The other day at the store, the cashier started talking about the state of this world. I sensed that she knew the Lord and I had the opportunity to enjoy a short conversation with her, in which I tried to encourage her with the reminder that none of this is outside of the Lord’s control. She smiled and said, “you are sure right about that,” and then went on to share with me how the Lord had taken such amazing care of her and her husband through the death of her son and then subsequent illness of her husband that brought with it an inability to work. She smiled as she said it and I could see that the Lord had indeed been faithful to her and her family.

But this conversation was a good reminder for both of us, I think. If our grip is tight on this world, then the state of it and where it’s headed is absolutely terrifying. And if our grip is tight on this world, then the changes and the diseases and deaths of those we love not only gets us down but they can potentially shipwreck our faith or, at the very least, eliminate our effectiveness for God’s Kingdom.

Only eternal perspective yields peace.

God has really been working on me in this area. I have so far to go. He graciously continues to teach me that my joy and peace cannot be grounded in the precarious, worldly branch of my choosing but that I must be grounded in the immutable and immovable love of the Father, trusting in His Sovereignty.

As life changes over the years I can feel that, little by little, God is releasing my grip on this world. I think He does this for all believers throughout the course of their lives. Each one of us faces trials and challenges. They are all different for each one of us, but none of us is exempt. Our branches sway and sometimes break and it forces us to fall into the arms of the Father. Most of us keep climbing back into that tree over and over again.

But with each sway in the wind and with each fall, our grip grows just a little looser on the things of this world and it changes how we view things, reminding us of what will really last for eternity. This change in perspective gives us a greater passion for the lost while giving us peace and joy for our soul as we rest in God’s sovereign care for both ourselves and for those we love.

This is a lifelong process–recognizing the reality of our vulnerable, powerless state and the great love and care that we find in God alone. We humans naturally tend to rely on ourselves for our own needs until we are forced not to.

Thankfully, our God is so merciful and His marvelous grace covers our treks up that tree and our subsequent falls when the branch just keeps breaking. His love is not fickle or temporary but remains constant even as we fail. And that is something for which we can be incredibly grateful.

No Excuses

4 Comments / March 15, 2018 March 15, 2018

Have you ever heard a fellow Christian say something like this: “Well, I just don’t have that gift.” Maybe you’ve even said it. Many of us have. Whether the discussion is on the topic of evangelism, giving, hospitality, or discernment, we often give ourselves passes on these commands in scripture with the phrase, “I don’t have that gift.”

But does that response hold up to biblical scrutiny?

This morning I want to take a look at this fairly common answer that is given whenever topics like these come up and make us uncomfortable.

God has made it very clear in Romans 12:3-8 that every redeemed person has a spiritual gift. Some of us know what ours is, some of us are still wondering, and some of us have never bothered to think about this at all. But every believer has one. The purpose of this post isn’t to delve into the spiritual gifts and how to know which one you have, but, rather, to determine if not having a particular gift is a pass at not practicing it.

It’s almost as if we believe that if we just say we aren’t good at it, then we can ignore it and go on our merry way.

So let’s unpack this just a bit. I feel like I may have bitten off a bit more than I can chew this morning, but let’s see what God’s Word says and see if I can then pull it all together. Let’s first turn to the book of John. This is one place that Jesus makes it very clear that we show we are His by doing what He commands–

John 14:21 He who has My commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves Me. And he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and manifest Myself to him.

We show we love Christ by keeping His commandments.

John 15:10 If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love.

The only way we can abide in Christ’s love is by keeping His commandments.

John 15:14 You are My friends if you do whatever I command you.

We have to assume the opposite is true, don’t we? If we don’t keep Jesus’s commands then we are not the friends of Jesus.

Lets hop on over to I John 2 where we read this–

I John 2:3-5 Now by this we know that we know Him, if we keep His commandments. ⁴He who says, “I know Him,” and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him. ⁵But whoever keeps His word, truly the love of God is perfected in him. By this we know that we are in Him. ⁶He who says he abides in Him ought himself also to walk just as He walked.

So this takes it even one step further and says we are lying if we say we are a Christian but are not following God’s commands. We can’t say we know Him and then ignore the Word and the commands therein. John makes it all too clear that true believers just won’t do this.

But we can be deceived into thinking that a certain commandment doesn’t apply to us. Let’s take a look at some of these commands that we tend to ignore, using the excuse that it isn’t our gift–

HOSPITALITY

I Peter 4:9 Be hospitable to one another without grumbling.

Romans 12:13 {Be} distributing to the needs of the saints, given to hospitality.

EVANGELISM

Mark 16:15 And He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature.

2 Timothy 4:1-5 I charge you therefore before God and the Lord Jesus Christ, who will judge the living and the dead at^[a] His appearing and His kingdom: ²Preach the word! Be ready in season and out of season. Convince, rebuke, exhort, with all longsuffering and teaching. ³For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, because they have itching ears, they will heap up for themselves teachers; ⁴and they will turn their ears away from the truth, and be turned aside to fables. ⁵But you be watchful in all things, endure afflictions, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.

DISCERNMENT

Philippians 1:9-10 And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in knowledge and all discernment, ¹⁰that you may approve the things that are excellent, that you may be sincere and without offense till the day of Christ, ¹¹being filled with the fruits of righteousness which are by Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.

I John 4:1 Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits, whether they are of God; because many false prophets have gone out into the world.

GIVING/GENEROSITY

2 Corinthians 9:7 So let each one give as he purposes in his heart, not grudgingly or of necessity; for God loves a cheerful giver.

Proverbs 3:9-10 Honor the Lord with your possessions,
And with the firstfruits of all your increase;
¹⁰So your barns will be filled with plenty,
And your vats will overflow with new wine.

I’ve picked these specific four things, because they seem to be the ones that are most excused because of not having the “gift”. Did I miss anything else?

Yes, God has given people special gifts and they help make the church run smoothly. But if they are only practiced by people who have these “gifts” then the Church would be sorely lacking, wouldn’t it? And that is where we find ourselves. Fewer people sharing the Gospel with others, fewer people giving of their first fruits, fewer people discerning, and fewer people practicing hospitality. And, perhaps, saddest of all, there are fewer and fewer even caring about these important things commanded by God in His Word as they are distracted and deceived by worldly worship, supernatural experiences, and mystical practices. The focus has turned inward to our own personal experience, rather than outward to how we can minister to others both by setting a godly example and by serving, according to God’s commands.

Not having a certain “gift” is not an excuse for not following God’s commands. Sure, it may come harder for us but that just means we need to work harder at doing it.

I will close with an example from my own life. I would not consider myself naturally gifted at hospitality. I have some friends who are really awesome at this. Their homes are lovely and impeccably clean, their food is delicious and served beautifully, and they make people who enter their homes feel comfortable and loved. My house is just a house and I am not all that into cooking. I don’t mind it, but it’s just not really my “thing”. And so I gave myself a pass on hospitality. But, more and more, the Lord convicted me about this. And I started to recognize a couple of things. First, I had to give up my pride. If my house isn’t cleaned or decorated just right, it’s okay. I am using it for His glory and I need to only please Him. I can’t worry about the critical eye of the “perfect homemaker”. And, second, I don’t have to cook a fancy meal to be hospitable. I can just do coffee and dessert or buy pizza. We can do hot dogs at the fire outside or make ice cream sundaes. When I started thinking a little more outside the box it became so much easier.

I don’t have this nailed down and I certainly don’t practice it as often as I should, but I do feel like I’ve made progress and it came when I released what I felt it “should be” and started practicing what it “could be”. Perhaps this is true for all of the gifts. We don’t need to practice a gift perfectly. We just need to practice it to the best of our ability. That is all God asks of us. He will take it from there.

So let’s release our impossible expectations, our reluctance, and, most of all, our excuses and start following God’s commands in these areas. God will bless our obedience and the rewards will be great–here or in heaven and, often, in both places!

Helping Your Child Flourish

Leave a Comment / February 26, 2018 February 26, 2018

What is the single most important thing we can teach our children in order for them to flourish both spiritually and emotionally? This may even help in their worldly success…

Of course, as Christian parents we want to teach our kids to love and serve the Lord. We want them to be saved. But even salvation can’t happen without this.

Any guesses?

It is a humble and teachable heart.

I have seen an interesting and discouraging change in Christian parenting in the last number of years. The culture that worships youth and thrives on change has crept into the church. And this has turned parenting on its head. Children have become the center of the family. Children are catered to while parents work to meet every desire and whim they may have. Children get what they want. From the time they are an infant angrily screaming in their crib to the time they are hurt by a teacher or students at school to the time they are teens who want to see an ungodly movie, parents run as fast as they can to rescue and please their little tyrants. I understand how it happens. I have done it myself. It’s easier. It seems more loving at the time. It feels wrong not to give them what they want. It makes us look like we are a bad parent.

But what are we teaching our children by meeting their every demand? What are we doing to their psyche by giving them the impression that the world revolves around them?

There are many downsides to this kind of parenting, but perhaps the one that will affect them the most is the pride and self-centeredness that we are instilling in them. They believe–and rightly so because it is what they have been taught–that they are the center of the world and that what they say goes.

As Christian parents, it should be one of our greatest desires to teach our children, both by example and by actions, to be humble and teachable. To recognize that God is our focus and that we are here to honor and serve Him–even at the sacrifice of our own desires and will.

By doing this, our children flourish in so many ways. Think with me for a moment about the most humble and teachable person you know. What do you like about them? Keep in mind, we are not talking the false “doormat” type of humility here that blows towards every wind of doctrine and is afraid to speak up. We are talking about biblical humility. (See Philippians 2:5-11 and James 4:6-10 for a better understanding of biblical humility.)

Let’s look at some of the ways that our children (and ourselves) will flourish with this kind of heart. Children and adults who are humble and teachable–

–First and foremost, will find it much easier to submit to and obey God. A humble heart is necessary for repentance and faith in Christ. A teachable heart makes the Christian life much more peaceful and joyful. It is the kind of heart that produces the most growth and spiritual maturity.

–Are kinder. They think beyond themselves and focus attention on others.

–Are easier to get along with. Whether in church or at work, humble people do not demand their own way. When something biblical is on the line and they are standing for what’s right, they speak truth with love and grace. They don’t hold grudges, forgiving others who have wronged them. Humble people are willing to learn from others and don’t think they know everything. Humility is really the only path to unity in a church body or work place.

–easier to live with. A humble heart makes it much easier for a husband to love his wife. It makes it easier for a wife to submit to her husband. It makes it easier to apologize and to express openly one’s remorse over sin and failures. It keeps parents from the “because I say so” model of parenting, and instead cultivates an atmosphere of engaging children in lively discussions, listening to their fears, anger, and frustrations, and answering their questions from a biblical perspective. It radically eliminates the hours and days (or even weeks) of angry silence that sometimes take place in homes. A teachable heart creates an atmosphere of growth and unity within the family.

–are much more prone to growth in so many ways. Where a prideful heart is akin to hard, dry soil, so a humble heart is like moist, fertile soil. Good things grow in the soil of a humble, teachable heart. They grow faster and stronger. Pride makes growth hard. It may happen but it is so much slower and the result is usually weak and small.

–willing to listen. Humble, teachable people are willing to listen to others. They recognize that the elderly, the middle-aged, and the youth all have something to teach them.Whether they are 80, 50, or 25, humble people recognize that learning is a life-long process and that they can learn so much from someone else’s experiences, gleaning wisdom that helps them in their own lives. They also recognize the importance of kindly listening to someone even if they do not agree with them.

–have a biblical view of sin in their own lives and in the lives of others. Humble people do not berate and gossip about those who are living in sin. They don’t point fingers and speak arrogantly. They recognize that it is only by the grace of God that they are not caught up in that sin themselves. They understand the wickedness of their own heart and don’t view themselves as “better than”.

If we can teach our kids to have a humble and teachable heart, we are giving them such a wonderful advantage as they head out into the world. They will be better workers and church members. They will thrive as spouses and parents. It really is like a golden ticket to peace and joy. For it is only through humility that any of us can submit to God and His sovereign hand in our lives.

This list probably gives us all something to think about, even if we don’t have children in our homes. Are we setting an example of a humble, teachable heart to all of those around us? Our grandchildren, our nieces and nephews, our Sunday school students, our neighbors and co-workers–they are all watching.

If we haven’t cultivated a humble, teachable heart in the past. If we grow defensive and struggle to apologize. If we hold grudges and find it difficult to forgive. Well, it’s not too late to change. No matter how old we are, it is never too late to change.

My guess is that all of us can grow in this area. Pray and ask the Lord to help. On a humorous note, I have asked the Lord many times to please keep me humble. And He never fails. I chalk some of my most embarrassing moments up to those prayers. But, after the horridness and acute embarrassment of the moment was over, I can honestly say that I was glad. Glad that God had reminded me that I wasn’t “all that” and that I really don’t have it all that much together, after all. Those moments keep me seeking after God and discarding my pride. So, if that’s what it takes, well, it is truly worth it. And since this is a continual process and never something I can seem to master, I expect many more embarrassing moments ahead!

Life is hard. But it is harder when we are proud and unwilling to learn. Let’s work at being humble and teachable and let’s teach our children both by example and by how we parent, to be the same. They will thank you one day.

A Personal Note

13 Comments / February 1, 2018 February 1, 2018

The other day we heard an awful rumor that is being circulated about us. There wasn’t even a bit of truth to it, but it hurt nonetheless. Where do people come up with this stuff?

This reminded me of a time, many years ago now, when something had happened to me and, while tempted to respond in the wrong way, I had been rather proud of myself for handling it in a way that I thought truly honored God. I remember this specifically because I didn’t (and still don’t!) always respond this way. A month or so later, I found out that the person whom I thought I had treated so kindly and respectfully had utterly misrepresented–and even lied–about my response to his co-workers. I can’t even imagine what would cause someone to do that. But it happens to all of us at one time or another.

And the thing is we all judge each other on these things. We talk about how we shouldn’t judge each other and yet we all are tempted to do it. We will hear someone talk about someone else and we will make a judgment on that person, even though we may have never met them. Or, even more hurtful, we will hear something about someone we know and, instead of talking with them about what we have heard, we will simply start avoiding them. In essence, we end the relationship over something we don’t even know to be true. This may be one of the saddest things that happens to any relationship.

This is really the same thing that happens here with this blog. People who don’t know me–and some who do–judge me because they don’t like the things I write. And so I am labeled things like “harsh” or “negative”. I do know this and I am slowly learning to be okay with this. Every now and again I hear something that is being said behind my back and so it is a constant struggle but I do understand that it is impossible to have a blog that tackles popular opinion–especially popular “Christian” opinion– and not expect kickback. But I also know that there are those of you that appreciate what I write and I am so thankful that many of you let me know that. But, every now and again, I like to clear up some things with those who don’t appreciate what I write (but read the blog, anyway) and also to touch base with those of you who are my loyal readers. I think sometimes it is important to share some of my heart and to give a glimpse of who I really am apart from my posts.

And so today I will depart from my normal type of post and be a bit transparent.

First, I want you to know that I am not one of those bloggers who takes great joy in writing things that people don’t like. I don’t relish conflict and I don’t like to debate. But, for whatever reason, this is where God has me. And every single time I begin to think it is time to stop writing here, one of you sends an email thanking me or walks up to me and says how much you appreciate the blog. And so this is where I am for now–doing my little bit to further God’s Kingdom and to point people to God’s Word here in this corner of the internet called Growing4Life.

I also want you to know that I have no illusions that I am somehow loftier than anyone else. God has given me a gift to write. That’s it. I am not better than anyone else in any way. Have you ever wondered if I live out all of these things I write 100% of the time? There is an easy answer to this. NO. No, I do not. I wish I did. I wish I could. And have you ever wondered if my family has struggles like yours? Relationship problems, selfish wills, anger issues? Why, yes. Yes, we do. I am no different than any other sinner saved by grace and we are no different than any other Christian family anywhere else. I am not even close to perfect (the more I grow spiritually, the more clearly I realize how far I still have to go) and neither is my family.

I also don’t know the Word as well as I wish I did. I am working on this and it is much easier now that I have some time on my hands that wasn’t available to me when I was raising kids. But knowing the Bible takes time and I am thankful for godly people in my life whom I trust and can call upon when I stumble upon something I don’t understand or receive a question from one of my readers that I need help with.

I write all of this because sometimes it is hard to point people to God’s Word and what it says when it is so clear that I am so far from perfect. But if we only learned from perfect people, well, then, we’d never learn at all, would we? God–thankfully–uses weak and imperfect people to reach, help, and grow others. Aren’t you glad? This means that He can use any of us.

For some reason I still don’t really understand, God has given me this small platform here at Growing4Life. I need you to know that I have only one desire and that is that He uses this for His glory. It is my prayer that I can shine the bright light of God’s Word amidst the overwhelming darkness in this world–but particularly in the deepening twilight that is the mainstream church. Unbelievably, the church is growing darker at an astonishing pace while still claiming to be the light. The truth of God’s Word has always been unpopular, but perhaps never so unpopular as right now.

While I do hope that I am drawing my readers to God and His Word, God has also been using this blog to teach me some things. Two, in particular, come to mind, and I’d like to share them with you.

1. I can’t change your mind. When I think of the arguments and debates I used to have with people, it saddens me. What a waste of time. I have lost all taste for that as God has graciously taught me that He is the one that must work in the heart. He uses people like you and me for His purposes and to help people along, but I can’t change a heart. This is a hard lesson to learn for someone who has a love for the truth and who wants everyone else to have that same love. But I realize now that I can talk non-stop to someone for two years and it wouldn’t make a bit of difference unless God is at work (John 6:44; I Corinthians 10:10-16; Ephesians 1). I think I finally understand this. And that leads to my second lesson…

2. My opinion is irrelevant. As I wrote the paragraph above I could almost hear some of you thinking, “Well, what gives you the right to determine what is true?” So I want you to understand that God has taught me that my opinion means nothing. I do my best to share principles and lessons from God’s Word because I realize that this is truly the only thing that matters. Yes, people have different interpretations of the Bible but there is only one right interpretation. As John MacArthur says, “We can both be wrong, or you can be right and I can be wrong, or I can be right and you can be wrong, but we can’t both be right.” It is my greatest desire to share God’s Word in the right way. But I encourage you–even beg you–to dig in and study for yourself. Biblical illiteracy is perhaps the greatest reason the church is in such a terrible state. But we can change that–at least for ourselves and for our families. I hope that this blog is an encouragement to you but it is not a replacement for thorough study of the Word. Several months ago, someone who is very dear to me asked the question, “why did God make this issue of tongues so confusing?” And then, a few weeks ago, after really digging into the Word, she told me this: “I realize that it isn’t so confusing, after all. If you study your Bible it really becomes clear.” And so do your own digging. God is so faithful and He will lead you to the truth if you are searching for it. I know this from my own personal experience and from those of you who have shared with me how God led you out of the NAR and charismatic movements through His Word.

And so that’s what I wanted to share today. It’s very different than my usual post. But I hope that it has given you a bit of insight into me and why I write what I write. I have been so blessed by so many of you. Some of you have shared your heart with me through emails or comments on Facebook and those little notes are such encouraging treasures to me. But my greatest prayer is that God is using me to further His Kingdom, for it is His approval that matters most to me.

I was watching an old movie yesterday and there was a line in there that really hit home–

“If you stand up for the truth you are going to ruffle some feathers and you are going to experience some pain from those who don’t want the truth.”

Yes, I have found this to be oh, so true. But it is what all believers are called to do. I hope that through my posts and how I live my life, I am encouraging others to stand for the truth.

You Can’t Have Your Cake and Eat It, Too

6 Comments / January 25, 2018 January 25, 2018

Have you ever noticed that almost everyone loves Chick-Fil-A? The other day we went to one for a mid-week lunch and it was lined up almost to the door. In a world where fast food has lost much of its popularity and is considered quite unfashionable, Chick-Fil-As are still always busy. Why is this?

I believe it is because when you go there you will find their restaurants clean and organized and the employees respectful and helpful. Of course this isn’t true across the board, but there is a much greater chance of finding a Chick-Fil-A like this than any other fast food restaurant.

How does the owner of Chick-Fil-A accomplish this? This article states that Truett Cathy screens his franchise owners. They must exhibit Christian values and be involved in their communities. It’s a Huffington Post article that puts a negative spin on it (of course!). But, actually, what Cathy is doing is completely lawful. He’s protecting the reputation of Chick-Fil-A, which he owns. (Funny how you never see Huffington Post talk about the unfairness of progressives forcing business owners to bake wedding cakes…)

So why does having Christian values make a difference?

The Bible teaches us many things about life and human relationships. And it is clear that when we put them into practice, life is generally better. We avoid so much heartache and pain and generally experience so much more peace and joy when we don’t lie, steal, cheat, or hate. We have a much more restful home when we love, forgive, discipline our children, treat one another with respect and kindness, and live out the roles God has established for Dads, Moms, and kids. And we run much better restaurants and companies when we are honest, fair, train our employees to treat others with respect and kindness, and operate with integrity.

Christian principles make for a better restaurant, family, church, workplace, and LIFE.

Psalm 1 puts it this way–

Blessed is the man
Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly,
    Nor stands in the path of sinners,
    Nor sits in the seat of the scornful;
²But his delight is in the law of the Lord,
    And in His law he meditates day and night.
³He shall be like a tree
    Planted by the rivers of water,
    That brings forth its fruit in its season,
    Whose leaf also shall not wither;
And whatever he does shall prosper.

⁴The ungodly are not so,
But are like the chaff which the wind drives away.
⁵Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment,
Nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous.

⁶For the Lord knows the way of the righteous,
But the way of the ungodly shall perish.

The ironic thing is that even unbelievers love what results from living this way, don’t they? Chick-Fil-As are filled with customers who are unbelievers. It is because they love the outcome of this unappealing way of life, they just don’t want to do the work or make the sacrifices to have that same outcome in their own personal lives.

This goes the same for parenting. The world (and even other Christians who are following the world when it comes to disciplining their children) longingly watch parents who are actually enjoying their well-behaved and respectful children. But these godly parents are diligently following scriptural principles and making sacrifices to experience God’s wonderful promise that children are a reward (Psalm 127:3). It doesn’t just happen. Other parents watching them–whose children are unruly and unmanageable and make life so difficult– long to have the same results as their friends. But they are completely unwilling to follow the biblical principles in order to do so.

Well, you just can’t have your cake and eat it, too.

You can’t have the positive effects of living life based on Christians principles without…actually living life based on Christian principles. And that does take work and sacrifice and usually comes with its own share of mocking and ridicule, no matter where you live.

Interestingly enough, one can actually live a life based on the principles of the Bible without actually being a Christian and fare pretty well from a temporal perspective. I have seen this many times. Couples that live out and have instilled these Judeo-Christian values in their kids and who are living a life of harmony and success because of it. (In fact, these actually can be some of the hardest people to reach because they don’t see their need for a Savior.)

Perhaps this, too, is why America was so wonderful for so long. Perhaps this is why she attracted so many from countries all around the world. Being based on those same Christian principles created her reputation of being fair and free and safe and full of opportunities.

Of course, that’s all changing rapidly now.

We can’t change the world. But we can, like Truett Cathy, change our corner of the world. We can change our families by following God’s ordained roles for men and women and by training our children according to biblical principles. We can change our place of employment by doing our jobs with integrity, honesty, and diligence. We can change our churches by teaching the Bible, treating others with grace and mercy, and by calling out sin. Living life according to biblical principles not only makes our lives better but it also makes life better for those who live with and around us.

God wrote the Bible for us. He wrote every word for a reason. Our job is to study it and to live it out. Psalm 1 is not a promise but a principle. Some Christians have really hard lives and hardly seem to prosper at all. But you can never judge a book by its cover. The poorest Christian may be much more prosperous in eternal treasure than the richest one.

One thing we do know for sure: The way of the ungodly shall perish.