growing in christ

When It’s Time to Reap

She sat there in her hospital room, old, confused, and alone. A lifetime of bitterness and grudges and pride was being harvested. Her unforgiving heart and her need to be in control had pushed away most of her friends and family, leaving her to walk through this latest health crisis alone. When one of her children reached out to her, she clung to her pride and her bitterness and pushed them firmly away.

It is, by far, one of the saddest, most heart-breaking things I have ever witnessed. And I was reminded of Galatians 6:7–

Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.

We reap what we sow. It is a principle of life we cannot escape. If we sow seeds of bitterness and unforgiveness and grudges, those seeds will grow into plants and those plants will produce fruit. Deformed, loathsome fruit.

If we sow seeds of love and grace and mercy, those seeds will produce good and healthy fruit.

But there are other bad seeds to sow, other seeds that produce bad fruit. Galatians 6 goes on to say this in verse 8–

For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life.

Any sowing that is done to our flesh will reap corruption. Any sowing that is done to the Spirit yields everlasting life.

BUT, you may be thinking, that old woman is not me. I am sowing good seeds, I have a good relationship with my family and friends. Lest we get too confident in ourselves, I remind you of something that John Stott once said–

“Every time we allow our mind to harbor a grudge, nurse a grievance, entertain an impure fancy, or wallow in self-pity, we are sowing to the flesh. Every time we linger in bad company who’s insidious influence we know we cannot resist, every time we lie in bed when we ought to be up and praying, every time we read pornographic literature, every time we take a risk that strains our self-control, we are sowing, sowing, sowing to the flesh.”

Oh, we all do it. Every. Single. Day. Maybe not to the extent that will leave us old and alone. But we all sow to the flesh, reaping the consequences of our sinful choices.

God sent His son to forgive our sins and give us eternal life. But salvation does not erase the consequences of sinful choices. We continue to live with those until we die.

Thankfully, living a life that is pleasing to the Lord eliminates so many of those ugly consequences. And that is something we can start to do right now! Today! His commands are not burdensome. They protect us! And what a wonderful protection they are.

We cannot change the consequences that we are experiencing from sinful choices of our past. BUT we can change the future. Here are a few questions we should ask ourselves as we contemplate our future harvest:

What seeds am I sowing that will yield an abundance of good fruit?

What seeds am I sowing that are going to yield the fruit of corruption?

AND…

What can I change to make my harvest so much better?

 

As God has a way of doing so often, He brings just the right book or sermon along at just the right time. That very thing happened this week. If you’d like to think on this topic a bit more, I recommend this sermon by John MacArthur on the principle of sowing and reaping: The Inescapable Law of Sowing and Reaping.

 

 

What Determines Truth for You?

“You can’t argue against someone’s experience”

“But this book {that doesn’t line up with scripture} helped me and made me feel closer to God.”

“We play rock music in our church service {or have sermons based on movies or hold church poker nights} because it makes the unsaved feel comfortable and want to come.”

These are all things that I’ve heard people say at least once. Some more than once. And it makes sense to them. If something works why not use it or read it or do it?

In other words, truth is determined by consequences.

Pragmatism first became popular in the late 1800s and was introduced to society by several different men–two of whom you may recognize. John Dewey (instrumental in creating the public school system) and C.S. Lewis, the “Christian” apologist. I use quotes because C.S. Lewis’s beliefs and interests were actually not all in line with the Cristian faith (see here and here and here for more information). I continue to remain amazed and dismayed that he has become so respected in the Christian world.

There are some real problems with the ideology of pragmatism for a Christian. Although Christians try to join their biblical beliefs with this philosophy all the time, we can see how pragmatism is a slippery slope that leads us away from scripture.

First, we have to recognize that only one thing can determine truth. Is it scripture or is it by what works? We can’t philosophically have it both ways. We will have to make a choice.

For instance, take the Christian who reads a book that makes them feel good but has a message that does not align with scripture and then they go on to recommend that book to all of their friends. They have chosen pragmatism over scripture. By default, they have made the choice to elevate the consequences (their good feelings) over what the Bible says.

Or take a church that brings in secular rock music or worldly movies to their services. They nobly profess to do this to make the unbeliever comfortable. This works. But, again, they are elevating what works (unsaved in their pews and feeling comfortable) over what scripture teaches (Love not the world or the things that are in the world I John 2:15).

In fact, that church had already given in to pragmatism when they realized that their numbers would increase if they chose to market to the unsaved rather than to follow the biblical church model. In scripture we find that the local church isn’t for the unsaved but for the saved; and that it doesn’t exist to make us feel comfortable but to encourage, teach and support us as we strive to grow in holiness. Comfort is never the goal of church. For saved or unsaved. And, yet, pragmatism, would say that comfortable = increased numbers at church. See how this works?

Can you see how this has infiltrated and changed everything?

It has crept into our own lives far more than we even realize. I wrote in this post how I was struggling to get through Jeremiah and mentioned to my brother (Pastor Dean) that I just wasn’t enjoying that particular book of the Bible. He laughed and reminded me that the Bible wasn’t for my enjoyment but to teach me about God. Oh, how dismayed I was to realize that I was viewing my personal Bible reading pragmatically! I was judging my Bible reading by how it made me feel.

Can you see how seductive this belief is? How invasive and natural it has become for us to judge things in this manner? We see it not only in churches, but on a large scale in the corporate world, in the academic realm, and everywhere else. It has invaded en masse and it’s not going anywhere soon.

But we can’t have it both ways. We can’t have our experience determine truth and the Bible determine truth. If we don’t intentionally set a line in the sand and say we choose the Bible, I can almost guarantee that we will be lured away into this dangerous and faith-squashing philosophy.

Second, we have to recognize that if truth is determined by consequences, then it must follow that truth is changeable. What works one year may not work another year. What worked in the past may not work in the future.

But God tells us that truth never changes. His Word is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. It is the same forever. Isaiah 40:7-8 puts it like this–

All flesh is grass,
And all its loveliness is like the flower of the field.
The grass withers, the flower fades,
Because the breath of the Lord blows upon it;
Surely the people are grass.
The grass withers, the flower fades,
But the word of our God stands forever.”

Peter repeats this thought in I Peter 1:23-25

Since you have purified your souls in obeying the truth [i]through the Spirit in [j]sincere love of the brethren, love one another fervently with a pure heart, 23 having been born again, not of [k]corruptible seed but [l]incorruptible, through the word of God which lives and abides [m]forever, 24 because

“All flesh is as grass,
And all[n]the glory of man as the flower of the grass.
The grass withers,
And its flower falls away,
25 But the[o]word of the Lord endures forever.”

From these verses we know that God’s truth does not change. Current culture does not change it. Modern desires and demands do not change it. Because truth doesn’t change.

The Bible remains a blessed anchor in the midst of a world where “truth” is what anyone wants it to be. Where “truth” is what works for that moment.

Pragmatism is a big word but it has literally affected each and every one of us. It is important that we examine our hearts and lives for the fruits of this deadly philosophy that so easily and subtly slip in.

Because we know that the Scripture does determine truth and we know that the truth we find there never changes. What a relief in this ever-changing and mixed-up world!

*A link for further research–

ThoughtCo:What is Pragmatism?

The Odd Disconnect

This summer has to be one of the wettest on record in our area. And not only the wettest but, for the last eight weeks, also the most humid. There are certain diseases and fungi that are inevitable when your lawn is wet, humid, and without sunshine for days on end, no matter what kind of Turfcare program or fertilization you use.

Customers are calling us, “What is wrong with my lawn?” and they are frustrated because they have paid for a Turfcare program and it’s not working. And we have to tell them that even our best Turfcare plan isn’t designed for such unusual conditions as these.

And this got me started thinking about entertainment.

Just follow me. I know it’s a big switch.

I think some of us Christians do this same thing. Our Turfcare program is our Bible reading and church attendance. We believe we have ourselves protected and covered. And the wet, humid weather pattern is our entertainment habits. We engulf ourselves in the evil of this world, by filling our brains with books, music, TV shows, movies, and video games that blaspheme God, that are filled with violence, that promote sinful sexual relationships, that use crude and profane language, and that teach ungodly philosophies.

We seem to think that because we read our Bibles we are somehow immune from the effects of these things.

But we aren’t. The ugly fruit that is born in our hearts from our sinful entertainment habits is told in the current Christian culture that is now starting to teach that homosexuality isn’t a sin. This is just a natural direction to go for professing Christians that have already been hardened to couples living together and rampant divorce. It’s a natural progression for a Christian culture that has accepted almost any sin known to man via the little screens positioned strategically all over their homes.

Christians find themselves weak and powerless and prayerless. And they can’t understand why. But I propose that it is a natural outcome for people who have soaked themselves in sorcery and witchcraft at unprecedented levels. For people who watch other people having sex on a screen and torturing, maiming, and killing others in cold blood. For people who hear their precious Lord’s name taken in vain and no longer even cringe. It’s a natural outcome for people who have filled their minds with all that God hates.

No amount of Bible reading or church attendance can withstand that deluge of evil coming into your mind.

This is why God has commanded us to be holy and pure (2 Timothy 2:22; James 3:17; I Peter 1:15-16). Growing in Christ includes both filling our hearts and minds with God’s Word, as well as eliminating evil influences.

I confess I don’t understand the really odd disconnect in this area of entertainment. It is like we have the rest of lives and then over here in a little box we have our entertainment. It is the one box we don’t even consider submitting to God.

But why?

May I challenge you today to start purifying your life in regards to your entertainment. May I encourage you to submit this area of your life to God without reservation? If you don’t feel convicted about this then I would suggest that you start digging in the Word in regards to this specific topic, asking the Lord to open your eyes and show you the truth about what you have been reading, watching, and listening to.

Too many of us are the lawn with the great fertilizer program and yet find ourselves full of disease because we have been submerged in the world’s philosophies and sinfulness. By choice.

Somehow that makes it worse. We choose to put ourselves in this condition. Unlike the weather that is outside of our control, what we fill our hearts and minds with is our choice.

God wants all of our hearts. He desires that we live in purity and holiness. He calls us to repent and leave sin far behind us. This is hard under the best of circumstances, but it is almost impossible when we are filling our heads with all that we are supposed to turn away from.

And do this, knowing the time, that now it is high time to awake out of sleep; for now our salvation is nearer than when we first believed. 12 The night is far spent, the day is at hand. Therefore let us cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armor of light. 13 Let us walk c]”>[c]properly, as in the day, not in revelry and drunkenness, not in lewdness and lust, not in strife and envy. 14 But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts. Romans 11:11-14

Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world. 17 And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever. I John 2:15-17

Cultivating A Healthy Soul (Why we need both the positive and the negative to be healthy Christians)

Something that has disturbed me greatly over the past ten or so years is the belief that if a message is positive it is good and righteous and if a message is negative it is bad and sinful.

Where did this belief come from? For it is certainly not from the Bible. (Actually I do know where this belief originates and there is a link further on in this post for those of you who would like to know, too.)

Jesus Himself tells us to look out for false teachers, to deny ourselves, to expect hatred from the world, explains the awful (and extremely negative) things to expect in the last days, and calls out and even severely criticizes false teachers. These would not be called positive messages by anyone’s standards.

Paul follows the example of Jesus and encourages us to confront fellow Christians living in sin, publicly calls out those who have left the faith, and encourages all of us to examine our lives for sin. Again, not positive by anyone’s standards.

Thankfully, both Jesus and Paul also abound in positive messages. The Bible provides the perfect balance of both because the Bible is the holy and inerrant Word of God.

Yesterday I heard an illustration by A.W. Tozer regarding this very thing. It had to do with the human body and how it stays healthy. It so impacted me that I actually did an online search to find it in print. I found it in a book called Gems from Tozer. Here is a brief portion of it–

The healthy soul, like the healthy blood stream, has its proper proportion of white and red cells. The red corpuscles are like faith: they carry the life-giving oxygen to every part of the body. The white cells are like disbelief: they pounce upon dead and toxic matter and carry it out to the drain. Thus the two kinds of cells working together keep the tissues in good condition. In the healthy heart there must be provision for keeping dead and poisonous matter out of the life stream. This the credulous person never suspects. He is all for faith.*

I have been thinking about this since I heard it and how applicable this comparison is to our spiritual lives. I even did some further research. What happens if our blood is out of balance? Without getting too technical, I thought I’d give a quick overview. The field of medicine is not my field (by any stretch of the imagination) so hopefully I get this right–

Too Many Red Blood Cells: The condition of the body creating too many red blood cells is called polycythemia vera. This slow-growing cancer actually can sometimes be symptom-free. But whether the person feels it or not, the blood is thickening and the blood flow is slowing down, which can lead to all kinds of issues, including death. You can be feeling great but still have this fatal disease. Thankfully, the medical world has developed a treatment for this cancer and those that have it can expect to live a fairly normal life as long as they make regular visits to the hospital for treatment. But the key here is that this can cause symptoms in a person or it might not but, either way, the over-production of these red blood cells will eventually cause death if there is no treatment.

Too Few Red Blood Cells: The condition of having too few blood cells is called anemia. Most of us have heard of this. It is a condition that leads to sluggishness and exhaustion. When the red blood cells are working properly they distribute oxygen and also carry carbon dioxide to your lungs from other parts of the body to be exhaled. If there aren’t enough red blood cells they can’t do their job and it keeps the body from functioning properly.

Too Many White Blood Cells: This condition is called leukocytosis. Elevated white blood cell count can be caused by many things–leukemia, infection, stress, immune system disorders, and smoking can all lead to an elevated count. High white blood cell count is an indication that something is wrong in the body and the body is working to fight against it.

Too Few White Blood Cells:Called leukopenia, this condition leaves your body at risk for other infections. This is the reason that some patients die from diseases and infections unrelated to their original diagnosis. Chemotherapy will often cause this and this is why cancer patients must be so concerned about catching colds. Without a proper white blood cell count, the body is in grave danger.

Okay, so let’s pretend that the red blood cells are the happy, positive thoughts and words and white blood cells are the negative, unpleasant thoughts and words.

We obviously need both in order to have a healthy soul.

If we only focus on the happy and the positive, we may not realize it, but we will be putting our souls at peril. We may feel great but, meanwhile, a deadly lethargy is invading our blood stream while we are blithely unaware. However, if we never focus on the good and positive things, we put ourselves at risk for an apathy in the faith. We will lack vibrance and joy. We won’t encourage, we won’t be lifting others up, and we will have a tired and lackluster faith. Both extremes lead to a severe and harmful imbalance.

And, of course, if we only focus on the negative and unpleasant, constantly talking only about how bad this world is and making sure everyone knows every false teacher that is out there, then this is an indication that something is not quite right with the health of our soul. We should never be so focused on the negative that we completely ignore the positive. But, on the opposite side of things (and where I believe more people are) are those that never want to focus on the negative and believe it to be a sin. These folks put their souls in grave danger. They have compromised their spiritual immune systems and are at risk to fall for all kinds of false teachings and wrong belief systems.

We can see that none of these are ideal. And just as we shouldn’t have too many or too little of red or white blood cells, we also shouldn’t be spiritually imbalanced when it comes to our focus on the positive or the negative.

As I mentioned above, I believe that there are few that focus on the negative. That type of life style has been so maligned that we have been almost (not quite but almost) led to believe that someone who focuses on the negative is not a Christian. And they most certainly aren’t a good Christian, even if they are one. After all, negative words aren’t kind words (according to most) and the majority of Christians don’t want to be known as the negative, unkind one (not understanding that “unkind” is being defined by this culture and not by it’s historical definition).

I think far more of us have bought the lie that positive messages are all we should speak. That negative words are sinful. This is what we are being taught in so many different ways. Whether it’s the latest “Christian” books, TV preachers, popular blogs and podcasts, social media, and even sometimes in our own churches, we find that we are praised by men for speaking the positive and uplifting and we are marginalized and condemned for speaking the negative and discerning. Ironically, and tragically, the truth seems to be irrelevant.

Of course, if we are serious about our walk with the Lord we desire to have a healthy soul. We want to be obedient and submissive children. So how do we do this? We do this by getting our instructions for living from the Bible and not from pop Christianity or humanistic psychology. What does the Bible teach? What does the Bible say?

2 Timothy 3:16 can get us started–

All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for [a]instruction in righteousness,

There we find both the positive (doctrine and instruction in righteousness) and negative (reproof and correction). If you have time, do a study of this topic in God’s Word.

For it is only by knowing what God has to say about this that we can defend ourselves against the plethora of lies that abound around the idea of “positive thinking” (which is an occult/new age teaching, by the way! find out more at this link).

We must have a balance of the positive and the negative; of both love and truth; both grace and justice. Leaning one way or the other will cripple our souls and hinder our work for Christ.

May we be filled with plenty of red blood cells–positive, encouraging, happy thoughts and words that carry life and oxygen to our souls and to the Body of Christ and may we also have a healthy amount of white blood cells–discerning the true from the false, diligently removing and warning of the toxins that threaten our own soul as well as the souls of other believers. For both are critical to cultivating a healthy soul.

 

 

*Tozer, A. W.. Gems from Tozer: Selections from the Writings of A.W. Tozer (Uqp Poetry) (Kindle Locations 625-629). Moody Publishers. Kindle Edition.

Other resources:

https://www.mayoclinic.org

http://blog.insidetracker.com/45247913486-high-white-blood-cell-count-what-you-should

 

An “Unofficial” Kid Study

The other night our company participated in a community fair (which I also wrote about last time). We kept it pretty simple with just a few brochures and portfolios and then filled the table with bins of different types of treats. To the left side of the table was a big spinning wheel (like a small “wheel of fortune”) that was labeled with all of the items on the table.

There is just something about spinning a wheel to see what you get. Even some adults were drawn to spinning the wheel at our encouragement. But, mostly, it was kids.

Toddlers and big kids, shy kids and bold kids, poor kids, rich kids, happy kids, quiet kids. Kids with the light of a good life in their eyes. Kids who were already knee deep in the struggles of life. But for a few minutes all of that was put aside as they’d tug at that wheel.

I enjoyed observing them and started doing my own unofficial “kid study”. As the evening wore on, I was able to break them down into a few different types–

The Shy Kid–The boy or girl who had to be pulled by the arm towards the wheel or cajoled by a parent or sibling in order to be brave enough to spin the wheel.

The Greedy Kid–The kid (many of them) who came back over and over until we had to tell them {very politely} that it would be nice to give someone else a turn.

The Embarrassed Kid–These are the ones that were just on the cusp of being an adult and felt like they should be too old to enjoy something like this–but they just couldn’t resist.

The Manipulative Kid–This is the one that would try to manipulate the wheel to the item of their choice. I only saw this once and he was also a greedy kid–trying to come back over and over to get what he wanted until, finally, with the last spin, he just moved the wheel to what he wanted. I pretended I didn’t see.

The Happy Kid–These are the ones that were just having a good time. It didn’t matter what the wheel landed on, they were happy about it.

The Discontented Kid–These are the ones that were never happy with what the wheel landed on. Sometimes they’d even lie and say they couldn’t have such and such kind of candy but they could have this other. What gave them away was that both kinds they’d mention had the same ingredients (dyes, sugar, etc) so it wouldn’t make any sense at all. But we’d just laugh and give them what they wanted.

The Charismatic Kid–The one that would lead all his friends to the wheel.

All of these kids had one thing in common–they were sinners. They had all different types of personalities and traits and life experiences, but they are all sinners. Just like we all are.

Isn’t it so interesting that we can see those same types of kids in the adults around us? We never really outgrow our personalities.

We have the shy and embarrassed ones–the ones who are so concerned about how they will look (selfishness) that they won’t step out in faith and do what they should. We have the greedy ones that are always looking for a deal, always searching for a way to get ahead or to get rich quick. We have the discontented–oh so many of the discontented–no matter how much they have it is never enough. And the manipulative ones–the ones using people and stepping on them to their own advantage. And the happy ones. The only thing we realize about the happy ones as we become adults is that it is often a cover for a lot of pain and hurt underneath. Not always, of course, but often.

These things don’t go away just because we become adults. Our challenge is to take our natural bents and personality traits and to use them for good and not evil. To eradicate the sin and to maximize the gifts God has given us.

This isn’t always, easy, for certain, but it’s one of our most important assignments, as believers. Think about how many people turn away from the Gospel each year because of these two things–

1. Christians living in their sin and not turning away from it (hypocrites)

or

2. Sinners who claim Christ but are probably not saved because they have zero fruit (liars)

There is nothing to turn people away from the Gospel more than hypocrites and liars. And how do we keep from becoming one of those? We stop pretending like we are perfect and acknowledge we are sinners–

not broken, not sick, not diseased

but downright, ugly, hopeless, lost

SINNERS

And then, with that recognition, we recognize Christ’s sacrifice for us. That we cannot be saved without Him. That reconciliation with God is utterly hopeless unless Christ’s takes our sin on Himself, presenting us spotless before God.

And then we start our journey of sanctification and holiness–a never-ending task. Difficult but not unpleasant. God changes our hearts so we want what He wants. His commands are not arduous and distasteful to follow, for we are changed. Sure, our flesh cries out in dismay at the rules and we long for things we can’t have sometimes but we recognize that for what it is. We can see the bigger picture and we know that God has our best interests in mind. Our hearts long to serve Him. And, along the way, we strive to give God the glory in our victories. It is Him working through us that brings change and transformation.

Let’s be honest. Kids are cute. And we find things like a little boy turning the wheel to get what he wants quite humorous. But it isn’t so funny in an adult. What is cute for a kid is often distasteful or even downright ugly in an adult. It is important that we grow up and out of those sins that would beset us so that we can shine the bright (and rare) light of an authentic, Christian testimony in this world.

 

 

The Half Trees

I was driving along on a familiar road when I saw them. I can’t believe I hadn’t noticed them before. I wish I could have stopped and taken a photo.

Towering pines reached to the sky and yet they were forlornly bare on one side because of the electric wires that ran next to them. The choice had been made to remove the branches to protect the wires, rather than to cut down the trees completely. They had been granted life but at what a cost!

Imagine if you will a strong, tall pine tree without any boughs on the one side. Only the scars of cut off branches remained. There was a whole row of them.

It reminded me of us. We desire to be so perfect but our bad choices starts removing our boughs. The axe of consequences and sin scar our trunk and starts cutting off our beautiful, green boughs. Sometimes it is the choices of others that brings that terrible axe into our lives and starts hacking away. And many times it is the axe of trials that are completely outside of our control that starts to remove those branches, one by one.

Until some of us are left with a half a tree.

And yet, in Christ, we can still be so strong.

The trees I saw were beautiful in their own way. Sure, they weren’t perfect but they stood so stately as if to say–we survived. We are marred and imperfect but we are strong and we have survived.

You can’t really imagine how something so imbalanced could grow so tall and strong–and yet–they did.

And so can we. God is in the business of strengthening, supporting, nourishing, and transforming those He has saved. Sure, we won’t ever be perfect. And we will continue to live out the consequences of sin and a fallen world. Some of us more than others. It is the nature of life.

But that doesn’t mean the Lord can’t use us. That we are rendered ineffective for the cause of Christ.

In fact, if those trees wouldn’t have been cut in such a way, I wouldn’t have even noticed them. It was in their very uniqueness that they stood out. They were different. They showed that even without wholeness there can be health.

Just as those trees remained a tall and stately witness to living a healthy life of incompleteness, so, too, are we called to live out a testimony of a healthy life lived in and for the Lord–despite our imperfections and deformities.

And, rather than be a deterrent to the Lord, we actually stand out and can draw people to the Lord when we bring glory to His name and point people to Him, no matter what the struggle or trial.  Sure, we come out on the other side minus a branch or two, but God will often use this very thing to demonstrate His power and strength. As healthy, imperfect “half-trees” we give people hope!

Just as a light shines so much brighter in the darkness, so the power of Christ is evidenced more fully when we turn to Him in our trials and struggles. No matter what the consequences (or lost branches), God can use these things to make us stronger, to draw people to Himself, and to be a witness to His power and glory.

Paul says something about this in 2 Corinthians 12:7-10–

And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to [b]buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

So I want to encourage you this morning to use your scars, your past, your current trials–whether brought on by bad choices or they are hopelessly outside of your control–to point people to Christ. To show that God is the great and ultimate healer and that we can be strong and healthy despite the consequences of sin in our lives.

Just as those tall, stately half-trees stand as a testament to health despite their many removed branches, so let us, too, be a testament of our amazing God, showing how He has worked and is working to make us whole and healthy on the inside–no matter how we might look on the outside.

 

 

And Then There Was Only a Trickle

I stood under the shower trying to rinse out my short hair in the pathetic stream of water that trickled from the shower head. What in the world? The water stream had been weakening as the weeks passed by. And I kept forgetting to ask my husband about it.

Finally, after weeks of these miserable showers, I asked him what was going on. He informed me that the shower head needed replaced, as years of gunk and buildup had impeded the water flow. He had already bought a new one but hadn’t gotten around to installing it yet.

A day or two later, he switched out the shower head and–Wow! What an incredible difference! The change in pressure was like night and day. Taking a shower was once again easy and even enjoyable. I had not realized just how weak the water flow actually had been because the change had been so gradual.

This incident reminded me of I Thessalonians 5:19–

Do not quench the Spirit.

I found this paragraph on this verse at StudyLight.org, written by Adam Clarke–

“The Holy Spirit is represented as a fire, because it is his province to enlighten and quicken the soul; and to purge, purify, and refine it. This Spirit is represented as being quenched when any act is done, word spoken, or temper indulged, contrary to its dictates. It is the Spirit of love, and therefore anger, malice, revenge, or any unkind or unholy temper, will quench it so that it will withdraw its influences; and then the heart is left in a state of hardness and darkness. It has been observed that fire may be quenched as well by heaping earth on it as by throwing water on it; and so the love of the world will as effectually grieve and quench the Spirit as any ordinary act of transgression.”

Just like our shower head became filled with debris that stopped its flow, so, too, can our lives so gradually become filled with habitual sins, unholy attitudes, or a love for the world, that we quench the Holy Spirit’s work in our lives. We can quench it by following after false teaching, by our lack of submission and obedience to God, by holding grudges, by keeping immoral company, and by a lifestyle of idleness or selfishness.

A lack of prayer and a disregard for our time spent in the Word keeps the gunk and buildup firmly in place, hardening there and diminishing the flow of the outworking of the Holy Spirit in our lives.

And then one day–just like that day in the shower when I realized just how bad the pressure really was–we suddenly realize that we are living a powerless Christian life that feels dead. We do not feel close to God and we do not understand why.

An honest inventory of our lives will often reveal the real reason. Some sin we love. Some worldly entertainment that we aren’t willing to give up. Some person we aren’t willing to forgive. A lack of trust in or anger over God’s sovereign will in our lives. The list goes on. Something is there that is quenching the work of the Spirit in our lives.

I Corinthians 13:5 puts it this way–

Examine yourselves as to whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Do you not know yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you are disqualified.

But most of us do not enjoy self-examination. It is painful and change can feel daunting. Or we love our sin and aren’t willing to give it up. And so we content ourselves with a weak and ineffective Christian life, never feeling like we live in victory.

And this is when so many fill in the gaping gaps left with the things that make one feel close to God–supernatural experiences, personal messages from God, being led by dreams and visions. I am convinced that an unwillingness to examine our lives for sin and unholy attitudes has left us with a gaping hole that is being filled in a desperate attempt to feel close to God without sacrificing our own personal and fleshly desires.

You see, scripture makes it clear that a holy life is necessary if we are going to truly be close to God. But that takes a lot of work and sacrifice and so we must decide: Is it worth it?

Are we going to stand in a shower that trickles, looking for counterfeit ways to convince ourselves that we are in a shower that is full pressure? Or are we going to go to the work of cleaning, fixing, and repairing so that we actually return to full pressure?

Are we going to pretend that we are close to God (something that Satan is more than happy to help us with) or are we going to follow the scriptural principles of self-denial, confession of sin, and sacrifice that is required for a healthy relationship with God?

And let’s not forget: Confessing sin and denying self leads us into the most fulfilling and wonderfully victorious Christian life we could live. It seems a contradiction, but it is true. What looks so unappealing to our flesh actually leads us to the full working of the Holy Spirit in our lives.

Which is truly a miracle.

 

A Real Rarity

The other day I was listening to a podcast where two men were discussing the rarity of people who are really willing to listen to an opposing viewpoint anymore. The context was in discussing discernment and how–even with solid biblical evidence–few people will really listen to someone who simply wants to share with them their concerns. Instead, they regularly encounter a defensive, arrogant spirit and often endure personal attacks. Simply from speaking up against a false teacher.

They went on to say how this is very different than in years gone by, where two people could have an intelligent and thoughtful conversation about Bible teachers, authors, pastors, (and I will add: Anything else).

Why is this? Why this crazily defensive and hostile attitude towards someone who disagrees with us? What has been fomenting this strange relationship phenomenon over the last few decades?

But why isn’t really the question I want to deal with today. I am more interested in what this change in how we accept and give confrontation has cost us as Christians–and what we can do about it personally.

You see, when we aren’t willing to listen to and to think on a viewpoint or opinion that is in opposition to ours we set ourselves up for failure. How in the world can we grow in holiness and keep ourselves pure and separated from the world if we think we know everything? Do we honestly believe we know all there is to know about God and His Word? We don’t have to agree with someone but we can always listen and consider what they are saying in light of God’s Word. Instead it is most common–even for Christians– to get angry, to attack and malign, and to hold grudges.

This plays itself out in a myriad of ways–

–When someone comes to us with a concern about a favorite teacher or author. How do we respond?

–When our spouse confronts us about a sin in our lives. How do we respond?

–When our child seems confused about something we said or did and asks us about it. How do we respond?

–When someone at church doesn’t like our decision about a ministry we lead. How do we respond?

–When a parent, sibling, or friend lovingly questions our entertainment choice, our child-rearing, or some other aspect of our lives. How do we respond?

At the heart of this all is arrogance. Plain and simple. “Who are you to tell me…anything?”

So this leads us to two important points that we need to consider today.

First, what kind of “hearer” are we? Are we willing to reflect on the words someone speaks to us? Or do we immediately go on the defensive? Do we allow our relationships to change or be destroyed because we don’t like what someone has said to us? Do we lash out in attack? Do we hold grudges?

This is of the devil, my friends. Even if what someone is saying to us has zero biblical merit, we should choose to listen and consider. And then, if necessary, we must forgive. Satan would like nothing more than to break down the friendships and families of Christians. And this is a very effective way.

We can cut him off at the pass by responding to unpleasant words with humility and love.

Proverbs is full of counsel about the fool. And one of the main things about a fool is that he does not listen to wise counsel–

The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, But he who heeds counsel is wise. (Proverbs 12:15)

Do not speak in the hearing of a fool, For he will despise the wisdom of your words. (Proverbs 23:9)

And then Proverbs 26:12 shows us that there is more hope for a fool than for someone who is wise in their own eyes!–

Do you see a man wise in his own eyes?
There is more hope for a fool than for him.

Do we think we know all the answers? Then there is more hope for a fool than for us!

And, second, this new dynamic should make us consider very carefully what is worth a confrontation. How many people do you know that, with a critical spirit, sarcastically attack people about the most inane and insignificant things? If this is us, then we will not be listened to when it really matters. It is extremely important that we confront lovingly on biblical matters and then let the other stuff roll. After all, does it really matter if they chose to go here instead of there? Does it really matter if they did their preferred “this” instead of our preferred “that”? Is it a biblical matter? Does their choice have eternal ramifications? Asking these questions can help us determine if it is worth a confrontation. Instead, we sometimes get this all mixed up and we confront (or make sarcastic remarks) on the trivial and never touch the stuff that has eternal ramifications. This is another subtle trick of Satan’s.

And, third, we should consider our own attitude about confrontation. It takes courage and a lot of love to confront someone in a biblical way. It is so much easier to just sit by and let it go. True love speaks the truth. Self-interest often leads to either ignoring it or saying sarcastic, back-handed remarks that hurt instead of heal.

Just recently, I was part of something like this and that experience has given me a real-life example of how all of this should work –in the right way. I will be purposely vague. I felt compelled to talk with someone about something. I hesitated for a very long time because of the possible ramifications. I have lost friends over things like this. I knew the risk and I basically told God I didn’t want to take it. But I knew that I was not doing the right thing. So I prayed and told God that if He would open up an opportunity, I would take it. Otherwise, I would stay quiet. Of course, the perfect opportunity presented itself a few days later. And, so, I, faltering and lovingly, shared my concern. And, wonderfully, the other person heard me without getting upset. They took what I told them and they acted upon it. This is how this should work between Christians (Proverbs 27:17). I was beyond thankful. And I wondered: Am I as mature and wise as this person when someone confronts me?

This is a question we should all ask: Do I hear? Or am I like the fool?

And the second question: Do I confront lovingly and only on the things that really matter?

Let’s be one of those real rarities: A Christian who is willing to thoughtfully consider what someone has to say to us and to also be one that has enough love and courage to confront when it’s biblically necessary.

 

 

The Other Side of the Equation

On Monday I wrote about the “Tactless Art of Making People Feel Small”. In that post I shared how important it is that we treat others as we want to be treated instead of acting like we are better than they are. It was an important post because it’s an easy (and acceptable) sin to commit. I hope you will take the time to read it if you haven’t done so yet.

Ironically…

On Tuesday (the day after that post was written), I was planting flowers for a few of our customers. I actually don’t do a whole lot of on-the-job work for our landscaping company but planning and planting the flowers in the busy month of May is something my husband has asked me to do.

Our second job of the day took us to the house of a customer who has mastered the art of making others feel small. We just know that this is the case with him and I tried to prepare myself for his condescension and abrasive attitude. While we were there he came out of the house and got into this car that was parked in the driveway. I glanced over with a smile and a ready wave, but he completely and absolutely ignored my daughter and me planting flowers in his front yard as he drove away in his {very expensive} car. And, yes, I’m pretty sure he knew we were there. That’s just the kind of guy he is. This is not the first time this kind of thing has happened and I am sure it won’t be the last. Unfortunately.

But my reason for writing is not this customer’s treatment of me. Rather, it is about my very wrong reaction to his treatment of me.

I was actually rather surprised at the intensity of the feelings that stirred up in my heart against him. Who does he think he is? The smallness I felt was almost tangible and my first reaction was indignation and animosity towards him.

The Holy Spirit almost immediately convicted me as I realized that this man doesn’t know the Lord. He is lost in his sins and my sinful anger won’t help Him to know my Savior but, in fact –should he ever find out my bad attitude towards him–would serve to drive him away from Christ. This really had me thinking as I sat there digging holes in the dirt and planting pink supertunias.

You see, there is another side to this equation of making someone feel small and that is: How we respond when someone makes us feel small. Because I think we have all been there. Whether it’s a customer who thinks they are better than us, an arrogant co-worker or boss who is constantly demanding things from us, a friend who directs unkind, sarcastic remarks at us, or any other countless situations that remind us that there are those who think we just aren’t important, all of us have been there at one time or another.

And how do we respond? Actually, don’t answer that. If you are like me, you won’t be very proud of the answer.

So let’s, instead, go to the Bible and see how we should respond–

First, Jesus tells us to love our enemies in Matthew 5:44: But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you.

While this is talking specifically about those who hate us, I think we can safely say that if we are to love those who hate us, we should do the same for those who would make us feel small. It is easy to build a lot of resentment and bitterness towards someone who does this because it feels so very personal. But, instead, we must forgive and then forgive again. We must let the remarks roll off our backs without building up a mountain of anger inside that festers.

In fact, Jesus tells us in Matthew 18:21-22 that we are to continue to forgive someone, even if they continue to hurt us: Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.

This can be hard to do with someone who is making us feel so incredibly unimportant and small.

(And if I may go down a quick bunny trail–I had to wonder why I was so angry about this as I stood in the front yard with my frozen smile on my face as I watched him drive away. And I realized it is that ugly old sin of pride cropping up yet again!! It revealed my own ugly self-importance that will probably plague me my whole life. And it makes me glad, once again, for a wonderful Savior who covers my sin and makes me right before God.)

And, second, I think it’s important we take it a step further as we respond to people like this by remembering that something is going on. While many of us struggle with making people feel small on occasion, there are those who do this to us all the time, which makes it harder to forgive. And yet, we have to understand that if someone is living in a pattern of this type of behavior, we can know that they are either lost and headed to hell in their arrogance and pride or they are saved but struggle with a deep-seated problem of insecurity and the only way to make themselves feel better is to make others feel small. Either way, they should be the recipients of our forgiving loving-kindness that would echo the same forgiveness and loving-kindness that God showed us– But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.(Romans 5:8).

If we need to wait for someone to treat us kindly before we treat them kindly, we are doing it all wrong. God can fill us with His love for someone like this, if we only just ask Him.

And, finally, we have to remember to put ourselves on the back seat and consider our ultimate objective–to save those who are lost and to draw believers to the Word of God and to walk closer with Him. What reaction will best further this goal? Instead of worrying about our foolish pride, we must toss it aside as the rubbish it is and turn our eyes towards eternal matters. What does it matter if someone thought they were better than us if they end up in hell?? It is sobering to think how often we let self  keep us from our ultimate objective.

Anyway, these are all the things I have been thinking about since that incident on Tuesday. I am sure that some of you do not struggle in the same way with that ugly root of pride, but for those of you that do, I hope that this post has encouraged you. God’s Word has the answers, it is just a matter of obeying it. Therein lies the real challenge.

 

The Tactless Art of Making People Feel Small

There is a way to instantly get on someone’s bad side. This builds walls between parents and children and creates barriers between friends. It can ruin ministries and destroy relationships.

I have seen it take place between adult children and their elderly parents. And between teenagers and their bewildered parents. I have seen it take place between teacher and student, pastor and congregation member, husband and wife, and clerk and customer.

It isn’t talked about a whole lot as a sin, but it is a very real (and accepted) sin for which we need to be on guard at all times.

So what is it, you may ask?

It is the art of making people feel small. The great art of condescension, which is defined as an attitude of patronizing superiority; disdain.

Have you ever been around someone who has done this to you?

How did this make you feel?

I can tell you how it makes me feel. It makes me feel unimportant and ridiculous. It makes me feel that I have no more value than a bug to be squashed on the sidewalk.

I know I have done this to others myself and I mourn over this. Do you feel the same way? Some of us are more prone to this than others.

I am especially heart-broken when I see this happen between adult children and their elderly parents. The rolling eyes, the patronizing attitude as I watch an adult child treat their parent with such disdain just fills me with sadness. Shouldn’t someone who raised us be worthy of our respect?

Now, first let me state that I have not been in the place of taking care of elderly parents yet. All four of our parents are still very independent so please know that I am not casting a pointing finger of judgement at any of you. I know there are real challenges in being a caregiver for someone who resists your care.

Rather, what I hope to do with this post is to gently encourage you to consider your communication with and attitude towards your elderly parents. And your children. Your co-workers and fellow believers and family members and friends. And clerks and bank tellers and landscapers and the people who pick up your trash.

Because there is little more to crush the spirit of another than to act like you know everything and they know nothing. Anger and frustration quickly build when someone gives the impression that they are way more important than the other person. There are few things that will as quickly create barriers between people than for one person to make another one feel stupid.

I’ve experienced both ends of the spectrum on this. I used to be condescending on a regular basis with my husband. It shames me to say it, but it’s true. I am thankful that he brought this to my attention and that God has worked in my heart but I am still so imperfect in this area (as well as so many others!) And, as lowly landscapers, we often feel condescension from those who would never choose a laborious job such as working with their hands and digging in the dirt. Quite thankfully, we have so many wonderful customers that make up for those that would treat us like dirt–no pun intended!! ;)

And, as is the case with all sin, the ugly root of this sin is pride. And, once again, we see clear evidence that–

Pride destroys and humility repairs

Pride builds walls and humility tears them down

Pride leads to dissension and humility leads to harmony

 

Another thing we need to keep in mind in regards to condescension is that it can be done with a big smile and sweet words. Have you ever run into one of those people that appear so sweet and kind but underneath it is hardened pride that keeps you from having any productive conversations with them? They are condescending but it is in the nicest way. In some ways this is the art of making people feel small at its finest. It can be done while still maintaining a godly and wholesome reputation.

So how do we keep ourselves from falling prey to this sin? What can we do to make sure we don’t patronize others? These are two things that I have found helpful, so I am passing them along–

1. Remember how Jesus treated others.

Jesus was never patronizing with people. We read of so many accounts he had with others–Zaccheus, the Samaritan Woman, Nicodemus, and others and condescension is never conveyed by even the slightest word or deed. Even when Jesus was angry with the Pharisees for their false teaching, He demonstrated that anger in clearly communicated words and not through snide and sarcastic condescension. Jesus’s sinless example is the one we want to follow as we reflect on how we should treat others.

2. Treat others as you would want to be treated.

Mark 12:31 says this: And the second, like it, is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”

Love your neighbor as yourself. How would you want someone to tell you a hard truth? How would you want your adult child to treat you if you were the elderly parent losing your ability to do things independently and your dignity right along with it? Imagine yourself in the other person’s shoes and really take to heart how you would want to be treated if you were them.

 

Remembering these two things will bring a big change in this area of condescension. Keeping these in mind will fill us with a special grace and thoughtfulness that will naturally yield an attitude of loving-kindness and gentleness towards others rather than an air of superiority and disdain.

So let’s discard the tactless art of making people feel small and develop the art of making people feel special! Let’s eliminate the destructive root of pride that yields a superior, patronizing disdain for others and, instead, develop godly humility that tears down barriers and builds relationships.

This is God’s will for all of us, so we know His Holy Spirit will guide and direct us as we seek to make changes. We know that this is a prayer that God will answer if we are seriously seeking to do what’s right. God will be with us all as we seek to build rather than to tear down and as we strive to make others feel important and loved rather than stupid and worthless.

 

 

 

Scroll to Top