discernment – Page 29 – Growing 4 Life

Help! I don’t know how to feel?

Leave a Comment / September 17, 2012 September 17, 2012

The other day my son was cleaning out his old truck in preparation for his new truck. As he worked, he shared his hesitation with me. Was he doing the right thing? This was his very first truck. The one he was buying was newer, nicer, niftier. But this was his first truck. He was excited about his new truck, but kind of sad about saying good-bye to his old truck.

Boy, do I know how he feels. As I was traveling to my mom’s the other day, I was experiencing the same feelings. You see, my mom and dad are moving, and so I was headed there to help sort through some things. As I made the turn at the pizza shop, I realized I wouldn’t be making this turn many more times. As I approached their development, my heart grew heavy, realizing that this home – my home for over 1o years and the only “grandma’s house” my kids had ever known – was going to be lived in by strangers.

And, yet, it meant my parents were moving closer to me. Instead of a half hour to visit them, my trip was cut in half at less than 15 minutes. They are moving to a house that takes a lot less care. That’s a good thing for them. And my dad felt it was so important that they didn’t leave a lifetime of stuff for my brother and I to sort through years down the road, that they are going through all of their accumulated stuff now, while they are in good health. And that is a good thing.

And, so…how do I feel? How do you feel happy and sad all at once?

Change is so tricky. No matter what the change is – whether a new vehicle, a new home, a new church, new friends, new school, new job – you name it, change brings a boatload of feelings along with it. Feelings that confuse and bewilder. Many times we resent change, and then years later, we see the good God was working through it all. Sometimes change comes suddenly and we can’t see any good at all…not in the present and not down the road.

And yet, through it all, God is faithful. God truly does work all things together for good for those that love Him. I truly wish I could express just how grateful I am to my heavenly Father, who meets us in all of our changes, no matter how big or how small. He steps in and works in little, awesome ways to make change bearable. Unless we have experienced it for ourselves, it is truly hard to understand.

And, so, yes, change is a big part of all of our lives. And change will always bring conflicting feelings within us. But God doesn’t change and, more often than not, He uses change to prove Himself faithful and trustworthy. Praise be to Him!

Niceness Doesn’t Always Equal Goodness

2 Comments / September 13, 2012 September 13, 2012

A few years ago, we had a young man stay in our home as part of a ministry team that was visiting our church. He was a kind, courteous, and handsome young man with a sense of humor to boot – just the kind of boy a mother dreams of for her daughter. In fact, I joked around with my daughter about what a great catch he would be.

It wasn’t until a few months later that we started becoming aware of who this young man really was inside, where it counts. We learned of his values, his entertainment choices, and his activities. And, several years later, we realized the depth of this grown-up boy’s sinful lifestyle (thank you, Facebook!)

You see, we can’t always tell a person’s true character by their niceness. Although we do tend to do that, don’t we? I find myself thinking that so-and-so is SO NICE, therefore they must be spiritually solid and strong. And sometimes that would be true. But it isn’t always true.

Facebook is a wonderful tool to use to help us discern if someone loves the Lord more than anything else. I can’t tell you the amount of times I have met someone who is incredibly nice in how they treat others, but when I see their facebook page I see ungodly pictures and language and choices on their info page and on their wall and I realize that their heart is far from God and is instead solidly entrenched in the activities of the world.

We can be as nice as nice can be, but that doesn’t make up for worldliness, or selfishness, or immodesty. Of course, no one is perfect and we all make mistakes – even on Facebook. But we need to be discerning, especially when we are praying for spouses for our children.

As parents, let’s be careful not to make niceness a priority over spiritual health. Yes, our child’s choice should be nice – but the niceness should be an outflow of the potential mate’s choice to love and follow God with all of his/her heart, soul, mind, and strength (Mark 12:30).

Choosing a spouse will be the second biggest decision our children will ever make (the first is to choose to follow or reject Jesus). We need to be there to give wise counsel and guidance, helping them to discern if the niceness is indicative of a transformed life or simply a personality trait.

Wednesday Wisdom: The Words of My Mouth

Leave a Comment / September 5, 2012 September 5, 2012

I am currently reading a wonderful book called 40 Days to Healthy Living, written by author Danna Demetre. We only think of healthy living in the physical sense, but this book has some very insightful points on living healthy spiritually, as well. As I was reading “Day 18”, I knew it was what I would have to share with you today. I do not normally recommend a book before I have completed it. However, I have been so thoroughly impressed with this author’s handling of both the spiritual and the physical side of our health, that I am counting on her to continue to do so through the end (I’ll let you know if the book doesn’t live up to my expectations!)

Nourish Your Spirit— The Words of My Mouth

Matthew 15: 18 But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man “unclean.”

The mouth can cause us so much trouble. From putting too much food in to letting the wrong words out, it is often a key player in many of our challenges. Too often, we say something before we’ve passed our thoughts through the filter of God’s truth. Words that tear down and wound don’t please God. Words that gossip or slander don’t either. Yet it is so easy to want to share a juicy tidbit about someone or pass on some interesting news in the cloak of a “prayer request.” I wonder how many of these kinds of prayer requests were ever really prayed about.

It seems if we can get to the root of controlling our mouth and our tongue, which we are told in James 3: 6 “corrupts the whole person,” we may be able to control our entire self. Our verse above says that what comes out of our mouths actually originates in our hearts. If we want to know the state of our own hearts, perhaps we should listen more carefully to not only the words we are speaking but also the silent conversations we are having inside our own minds. In the Bible, the word heart refers to the soul. And the mind is the soul’s pilot. As we have already learned, our words are by-products of our thoughts, and our thoughts originate from our beliefs. If we want our hearts to be pure and have words that flow naturally from our mouths, we must change our thinking.

If the words we are speaking are tearing down more than building up, we definitely need some “heart surgery,” which begins by identifying the lies we believe so they can be excised from our minds. These are the “unclean” things that Matthew is speaking about.

Angry words come out of an angry heart and despairing words out of a desperate heart. Whatever negative, destructive words seem to flow out of our mouths freely and regularly reveal the condition of our hearts. But the opposite is true as well. Kind words flow from a kind heart, lovely words from a loving heart. By identifying our negative emotions and words, we can begin the process of transformation as we replace that which tears down with that which builds up.

As with all spiritual concerns, this is not a matter of self-control but rather of surrender and transformation. It took time for those lies to become imbedded, and it will take some time to dislodge them. As our hearts and minds become purified, so do our thoughts and our words. And surprisingly, a changed heart may also produce changed appetites for food and other things, as the “mouth” may no longer need to try to fill the gaps of a damaged heart.

Demetre, Danna (2012-03-01). 40 Days to Healthy Living (pp. 217-218). Baker Book Group. Kindle Edition.

You can find this book on Amazon here. As of the date of this post, the hard copy only costs $6.99 and the Kindle edition is only $5.38. If you have been struggling with the topic of living a healthy life, this is definitely worth the few dollars!

Safe or on the edge?

9 Comments / August 30, 2012 August 30, 2012

Have you ever seen one of those TV nature shows about lions and their prey? On the TV screen we see hundreds of innocent wildebeests standing there innocently while a lion quietly prowls on the edge of the herd looking for the weaker ones. The lion waits and watches. A few of the wildebeests look up and sniff the air, sensing that something isn’t right. A sense of unrest permeates the air. And then, at just the right moment, the lion starts running towards the pack at high speed. This sets them all in a frenzy and they start running – all of them – in the same direction. Unfortunately, there are always a few stragglers. They are sickly, or weak and old, or perhaps young and naive. We watch as the lions chooses his prey and then pounces on it. His powerful claws rip into its fur and take it down to its knees. And then he uses his powerful jaws to kill the poor, innocent creature. About that time, they break to commercial and we are left feeling sad and sorry for the ill-fated beast that met death so violently.

Did you ever think about why Peter talks about the devil being like a lion? I Peter 5:8 says: Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.

I think Peter wrote that because he knows that we are just like those wildebeests. Some of us are leaders in the pack and we are the ones that shout “run” and lead the pack away from danger. Others of us aren’t leaders but we are careful to keep ourselves protected by keeping our eyes open and staying safely away from the edges. And then there are those of us who just seem to always want to be occupying the edge. We are crippled and weak spiritually and we can’t keep up with the group. Or we are naive and think we don’t need Jesus to help us live on a daily basis, trying to make it on our own strength.

And then there are those who are weak just because of where they find themselves in life. Some are young and naive and need our protection from pride and foolish choices as they grow in discernment and wisdom. Some are old and weak and need our help to protect them from falling prey to things like depression, loneliness, and self-pity.

I know it is not very flattering to compare people to a great big bunch of wildebeests, but I find it amazing how God directed Peter to write that verse about the devil. We can never forget that the devil is seeking to devour us! He is setting temptations before us and he is spotting the weak and sickly Christians among us. And while he can never take our salvation away, he is trying to destroy our faith and render us ineffective for the cause of Christ. He is trying to steal our joy and our peace. He is trying to extinguish our gospel light.

The sad thing is we often allow him to do so, don’t we? We become so disenchanted with life and so frustrated by outward circumstances that we are often rendered ineffective. Or we become so enamored with the world that we lose sight of what is most important in life.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be one of those poor creatures on the edges. I would prefer to remain safely among godly Christian friends and leaders. I want to help encourage and protect. But it is only by relying on Jesus and filling our minds with His Word and praying without ceasing that we can elude the clutches of the roaring lion.

Wednesday Wisdom: What are we striving for?

Leave a Comment / August 29, 2012 August 29, 2012

My grandfather, Charles S. Good, was a pastor for many years. He was a wonderful, wise man who loved God. He died some years back but before he died, he wrote a series of meditations and thoughts. I would like to share one of them with you this morning.

GODLY CONTENTMENT

Hebrews 13:5 “Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, ‘never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.'”.

It would seem following this scriptural directive has never been easy. Certainly at this time in America it appears to be very difficult. I need to confess that, with my failing health, it has become increasingly difficult to be content with what I am able to do, as well as with what I have. However, I am finding God’s grace is sufficient.

If we study carefully the biblical context of contentment, we see a very interesting challenge develop. On the one hand, we are to be content with that which relates to the material and the physical. On the other hand, we are to strive for that which relates to the spiritual.

In regards to the physical we need to hear Paul in Philippians 4:11. “…I have learned in whatsoever state I am therewith to be content.” I Timothy 6:6-8 “…having food and raiment let us therewith be content.” There are many other verses which speak to the matter of being content with our material and physical condition.

In regards to the spiritual, we need to note verses as in Hebrews 12:1 “…let us run with patience the race that is set before us.” and Philippians 3:14, “I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” There are other biblical references which use such words as strive, covet earnestly, etc. that depict what our attitude should be toward our spiritual life.

In looking carefully at our text in Hebrews, it seems to me our trust in God can be measured by the degree of contentment we have towards material things. I am not suggesting it is okay to be lazy in regards to physical labor but to be careful in setting priorities in life. If in our lifetime we had kept a record of time and energy spent to minister to our physical desires, and had done the same in regards to our spiritual life, would we be pleased with what we find?

We need to be well aware of the fact that in our day the presence of peer pressure, media advertising, and easy credit make it very difficult to be contented. In fact, because these things appeal to the flesh, we are very prone to be discontented. In order to conquer this tendency we need to put forth special effort in our relationship with Jesus Christ.

Brothers and sisters, if we would gain the victory in this regards, let’s keep in perspective James 4:14, “…life is but like a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes away.”

As Christians may we strive for spiritual health and not for material wealth!

—Charles S. Good (July 1994)

Polluting the River

1 Comment / August 16, 2012 August 16, 2012

The river meanders, bright and crystal clear, through the valley. And then, one day, a man comes and dumps a bag of trash into it. Oh, well, one bag won’t hurt. It continues flowing, but it now has one bag of disgusting, grimy trash flowing in its depths. And then another man comes with a truck load of trash. And then another. Soon the clear river turns into the town’s dumping grounds and becomes a contaminated, foul flow of water that is no good for anyone. The river, one of the town’s best assets, becomes a liability.

Dare I suggest that this is exactly the same thing that occurs with our children? Why do we allow the minds of our children to be contaminated by the world every day and then expect them to grow up with hearts passionate for God?

-We let TV shows into our homes that go against everything the Bible teaches.

-We allow music on their iPods that goes against everything we believe.

-We let them hang out with worldly friends who teach them dirty jokes and where the best parties are.

-We let them go to movies, school dances, parties, and concerts where God’s name is blasphemed and sin is glorified.

And then we expect them to have a heart for God?

There isn’t any fancy psychology here. It’s just pure, simple logic: Garbage in, garbage out. Don’t let anyone tell you that what you take in doesn’t affect you. It does. And I could give dozens of examples to prove it.

I beg of you, if you love your children and you love God, remove these things from your home. Stand up for your children. I know what the modern day church’s philosophy is on this subject of worldliness and I couldn’t disagree with it more! Don’t let anyone bully you with fancy words and vain philosophies into allowing things in your home that you know God hates. Don’t let your kids talk you into letting them go somewhere that will hurt them spiritually. Your kids are too important.

What does God think? That is the only question that truly matters.

I’ll climb down off my soapbox now! ;)

Constant Gardener

3 Comments / August 13, 2012 August 13, 2012

Big mistake. Big, big mistake. At least when it comes to the world of gardening. I remembered looking through the seed catalog several years ago. It is always one of my favorite winter activities –poring over the colorful garden catalogs. That particular year I made the fateful choice to buy a packet of seeds labeled “Grandpa Otto’s Morning Glory”. Oh, if only I would have known. If I had had even an inkling of what was to come, I would never have bought that seed packet.

This past Saturday night, I spent the evening, yet again, ripping out morning glory plants that had grown up all through my square foot garden boxes. What has made this summer so much more frustrating is that this spring we had built new boxes. We had laid down a weed barrier and then had dumped layers of fresh, virgin, seedless soil in them. There shouldn’t have been a morning glory seed anywhere around my boxes.

When I saw the first heart-shaped leaf early this summer my heart sank. No! You have to be kidding me. That stupid, invasive, beautiful plant was back. As I became busier in the month of July and didn’t have as much time to keep after the garden, the morning glories saw their chance and grew with a vengeance until they had climbed up through the sweet peas and raspberries. Their tendrils wrapping around and choking my peppers and my strawberries. What had started out as an innocent act of planting a tiny packet of seeds years earlier had turned into a gardening nightmare that would never go away.

Of course, many of you have probably already guessed where I am going with this. You see, sin is so much like that packet of seeds. It looks so beautiful, so small. It looks way too innocent to ever cause much grief. But the seed of a little sin, just like those annoying morning glories, grows and grows and then blossoms and eventually it sets fruit. And then the seeds start spilling out from the fruit and we find the sin multiplying on every side of us.

Some people just give up and let the sin continue to grow and multiply. They decide to just try to survive the jungle growing around them the best they can.

But, as Christians, we don’t have this option, do we? And, so we are called to be very careful about what seeds we plant. Are we planting good seeds or bad seeds? Galatians 6:7 tells us: Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. We fool ourselves if we think we can plant just a bit of evil in our lives.

Of course, most of us make the mistake of planting the wrong packet of seeds a time or two. I can look back in my life and see many times where I planted the wrong thing and I am still paying for that today. It is frustrating and discouraging to see the wrong fruit growing in the garden of our life. Especially when it seems to be over-taking the good fruit.

And, so, as Christians, we become the Constant Gardener. We have the responsibility to constantly be searching and pulling the sin and the fruits of that sin from our lives and nurturing and growing the fruits of the Spirit. But, by doing so, we experience the immense joy of living a life that is hopeful and fruitful, instead of muddling through the jungle.

I guess we should all spend a little time gardening today!

Trading for the Trivial

Leave a Comment / August 9, 2012 August 9, 2012

Do you remember Esau? Yes, the guy in the Bible. He was the older twin brother of Jacob. One day he came in from the field weary and hungry. His brother was in the midst of making a delicious red stew. When Esau asked for some, Jacob saw his opportunity. He told him that he would give him some stew in exchange for his birthright. In those days, this was a big deal. The older son was much more privileged than the younger son and by trading his birthright for a bowl of stew, he was giving up his inheritance. You can read this story for yourself in Genesis 25.

I have always thought of Esau as very foolish! What man in his right mind would exchange something so important for a bowl of food? And then it hit me. I do that almost everyday. I am in the habit of regularly exchanging self-control and a healthy body for a bowl of ice cream or a serving of french fries. When I think about it like this, I realize that I am not all that different than Esau.

We also do the same thing when we trade:

–our financial well-being for a car we can’t afford

–our spiritual well-being for 2 hours of ungodly entertainment

–a healthy marriage for a moment of griping and complaining about something trivial

–our children’s well-being for the temporary moment of peace that comes when we don’t discipline them

–our Christian testimony for a glass of beer or an hour at the gambling table

–our integrity for a few bucks on a tax form

–a healthy body for an hour of laziness and tv-watching

Most of us are trading what is most important for what is trivial almost every day. We wile away our entire lives on the unimportant, never realizing the great sacrifices we are making to do so.

Quite frankly, I can’t even relate to what Esau did because it is not part of our culture. We couldn’t trade a birthright in our culture, even if we tried. And so this story has always remained rather an enigma to me. And, then the other day, as I was reading it once again, it was made so clear to me. I can see how I am just like an American style Esau. Trading what is most important to me almost every day for something really stupid.

Some of the things I am trading aren’t even sinful in and of themselves. A bowl of ice cream or an order of fries isn’t sinful. Buying a new car isn’t sinful. But it is the attitude. It is the habit. It is the lack of self-control. It is the desire of self-gratification over the desire for doing what is right.

I don’t know about you, but I will never read that story in the Bible the same way again.

Wednesday Wisdom #8: Thoughts on Church

Leave a Comment / August 8, 2012 August 8, 2012

The Grace to You ministry has been so helpful to me through the years. John MacArthur preaches the truth of the Bible without compromise and yet with so much love and humility. I remember someone once told me that they think he is so “harsh”. I find myself wondering if anyone who says that could have possibly ever listened to him? Sure, he says things I don’t like, too, but he bases all he says on the Word of God. His humility as he teaches the Word of God is unseen in many pastors. The other day we were listening to a question and answer time with Phil Johnson and John MacArthur. In this particular Q&A time, the discussion centered on the modern day church and all that’s going on there right now. After we heard what I have written below, my husband remarked that every Christian should hear this. Hence, my decision to share it with you all today. We can never let down our guard when it comes to this matter of church.

The whole interview would be so worth a few minutes of your precious time. You can find it here, along with all of his other MP3s, which he provides on the Grace To You website for free. Here is a brief excerpt of that interview:

First of all, you’ve been worshiping with us, right? For four days. What you experience in the way we worship here would have been exactly what you would have experienced if you had been here twenty years ago…or thirty years ago. You heard me preach. What you heard me say today and the last three days, you could have heard me do the very same thing thirty-five years ago. We pay absolutely no attention to the pop culture, we couldn’t care less. We don’t care what they’re doing. It’s irrelevant. We have a fixed point of reference: the Word of God. And I don’t want to link arms with the culture. I want to link arms with the history of the church. I want to quote the great theologians. I want to sing the great hymns that generations of believers have sung and the reason we’re still singing them is because they were so good. I want to link arms with the past. I want people to know that we’re some…we’re a part of something that is multi…multi-national, multi-generational and multi-millennial. It goes back several thousand years. I don’t want people to think we just invented this.

I can tell you everything I need to know about a guy who says he’s a pastor by how much he gives honor to the work of Christ through faithful men through the history of the church and how much he wants to be among them and not an invention of his own. It’s just a problem.

I mean, look around at Grace Church, we’ve been taking in people, we often say this, I don’t know, what 75-80 new members a month for years and years and years and we think about 85 percent of them are thirties and under and have been for at least ten years. You know what? The Lord is reaching those people in a church that pays no attention to pop culture. We don’t drink beer openly, publicly. We’re not trying to play with the culture. We don’t want people to walk in here and say, “Wow, this is cool. This feels comfortable to me. It’s like a nightclub.”

We want people to walk in here and say, “What in the world is this? I’ve never experienced anything like this anywhere in my life.” We don’t want the world to come in, we want heaven to come down.

Lust and Love

6 Comments / July 30, 2012 July 30, 2012

1340661_42925738 — In like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, but, which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works. I Timothy 2:9-10

“If you’re an adult male, you cannot deny the power of a flash of flesh to draw your attention. A too-short skirt. A hint of cleavage. It’s really an incredible force of nature. Most women understand that a revealing outfit brings a certain amount of attraction from males, but they have no idea how much power they really have. Every man reading this is well aware of that power.” **

As I came upon this paragraph, I realized exactly why it is so important for women to dress modestly and, just as importantly, why it is so critical for Dads to share this information with their daughters.

I have given God many excuses as to why I can’t write on this particular topic – I will offend – I will be viewed as legalistic – Some of my friends and their daughters dress inappropriately – My three daughters and I are guilty of immodesty ourselves, at times. Please, no, God, don’t ask me to write on this topic. But He would not let me go, so here is the post I have been dreading to write for at least a year.

As usual, this summer has brought skirts and shorts that are too short, shirts that give way more than just a hint of cleavage, and bikinis that leave very little to the imagination. I think the saddest thing of all is that there there is very little – if any- difference between Christian and non-Christian women when it comes to how we dress. I see facebook pictures of Christian young women displaying their almost naked bodies. We can find half-exposed breasts and long, sexy legs in church services and at weddings. And, even more surprisingly, no one seems to be sounding the alarm that this isn’t appropriate.

I wonder if so many of us women do not truly realize what our immodest dress does to the men around us? Do we realize that we are tempting them to lust by not properly covering ourselves? I submit to you that this is not showing love to our fellow Christian brothers, but instead throwing temptation in their faces and just expecting them to deal with it.

And I would like to especially challenge Fathers of teen-aged girls. You, of all people, know what goes through the mind of a male who sees an improperly clothed woman. Why do you let your teen-aged girls go out half-dressed? Sure, if you ask them to change they may get mad and stomp off but many years later they will thank you from the bottom of their hearts. Parenting is tough, but we can’t give in. We need to protect our girls, their reputations, and the hearts and minds of the young men in their company. Many are the conversations my husband has had with our three girls – asking them to change – telling them why – never giving up on protecting them and the young men in their company. I feel so incredibly blessed to have a husband who is honest with them about this difficult topic.

Some men will say they are not tempted by immodestly dressed women. And maybe the culture is so inundated and flooded with sexual messages that it is true. But I doubt it. I would guess that they are not telling the truth. I watch men turn their heads and pay attention. I know the constant attention given by the men in my life to turn away, trying not to turn back for a second glance, because of where their thoughts will go.

Ladies, do we really want to be guilty of this? Do we want to be the cause of a man’s lust because we didn’t dress modestly? And exactly how is that showing the love of Christ to those around us? How is this type of dress bringing glory to Jesus Christ, the one who died to save us? God commands us to be modest and I believe that one of the main reasons for that command is to protect our dear Christian brothers and the wives (our sisters in Christ) that are married to them.

I know that a few of you will agree with me as you read this post; a couple more may give what I have written here some thought; but my fear is that most of you will think I am off of my rocker for even bringing this up. In all circles of my life I find little consideration is given to this subject. No one seems to care anymore. But perhaps it would be good for all of us to humbly ask God if our attitude about how we dress is the attitude He would want us to have. Even I, as I write this, find myself thinking about a few things I need to get rid of in my closet.

You see, this isn’t about rules – Thou Shalt Not wear such and such. This is about an attitude of submission to God and love for our fellow man. As Christian women, we are called to express our Christian love by keeping ourselves properly covered. As parents, we have the responsibility to teach this important principle to our girls. Are we inciting lust or showing love by how we dress? It is certainly something to think about.

** Excerpt taken from 52 Things Wives Need From Their Husbands by Jay Payleitner