Christianity – Page 53 – Growing 4 Life

Facing the Music

Leave a Comment / May 31, 2012 May 31, 2012

A few months ago we were forced to get a new washer. I actually was fine with that, as I had hated my front loader from the day we got it. When I went shopping for a new washer I knew I wanted a top loader. I found a great washer but what they didn’t tell me in the store is that when the load is finished, I get to hear a little song. Not a buzzer or a bell, but a sweet (and rather annoying) little song.

The pleasant tune will play faithfully, not minding what I am doing–I can be in the middle of baking bread or writing or cleaning a closet. If the washer cycle is through, I will hear that song. And if I am going to have clean, fresh-smelling laundry I need to go to my washer as soon as I hear that song. Sometimes I am busy and I forget. Sometimes I am lazy and I think I will do it later and then forget. Or sometimes I am not home. But if I don’t “face the music”, the next time I go to my washer, I will have a musty smell coming from my washer and end up having to wash the same load all over again (have you ever done that or is it just me??)

Sounds a little bit like life, doesn’t it? Sometimes we hear an annoying little song in our relationships. They are warning signs we shouldn’t ignore, perhaps a husband who won’t talk to his wife, a wife who doesn’t like to spend time at home, a child that throws tantrums on a regular basis, a teen that hangs with the wrong friends, just to name a few. These signs signal us that there is a problem that we need to take care of. But we are often too busy or too lazy to worry about it. Or perhaps we have already checked out of the relationship and find ourselves indifferent (this is especially true in marriages and friendships).

Of course, oftentimes, we just aren’t sure what to do so we do nothing. I know exactly what to do when I hear the little song in my washer. I go to the washer and I move the wet laundry from the washer to the dryer. But relationships aren’t always so cut and dried, are they?

But one thing that is for sure: that annoying song probably won’t go away on its own. And it will probably get louder. Every divorce started with small steps in the wrong direction. Most rebellious teens showed signs years before the rebellion occurred. Most friendships showed signs of wear before a break was completely made.

Just like my washer cannot be ignored, neither can our relationships. We have a responsibility to do all we can to mend broken relationships. We need to look at ourselves – how do I need to change? We need to do all we can personally do to fix the problem. And all the while, we need to be committing it to prayer on a regular basis. It can be a painful, torturous process, but the reward is so worth it!

Let’s take necessary steps to do what we can to heal the problems we see in our relationships. Sure, we are only ever half of the equation. But we are half! Have a blessed day as you face the music in your life!

2 Thessalonians 3:13 But as for you, brethren, do not grow weary in doing good.

Replacing “What If” with “What Is”

Leave a Comment / May 29, 2012 November 26, 2014

All of us, at one time or another, have said “what if?” What if I had never taken this job? What if I had moved sooner? What if I hadn’t bought this lemon of a car? What if my mom and dad wouldn’t have been abusive? What if I had raised my kids better? What if a certain person hadn’t died? What if I was a movie star…or professional sports athlete…or music performer? There is no end to the “what ifs” in life. We all have at least a few.

But we don’t have “what if”. We only have what IS. I actually heard that statement on Adventures in Odyssey (find this wonderful series here) the other day and it really struck me. You see, I had been saying “if only” about a particular issue in my life fairly frequently lately. I wish I would have done something in the past and I didn’t do it. So now what? Can I go back and change it? Can I change any consequences of my past decision? Can I wave a magic wand and make everything all better? Of course not.

So, perhaps, it would be better to focus on the what IS. Instead of regretting the past, let’s be thankful we are no longer there and move on with God’s strength and guidance, thankful for the life lessons we have learned. Instead of wishing for a different life, let’s focus on the life we have and live it with enthusiasm and a grateful heart. Instead of wishing we didn’t live in a particular house or drive a particular car, let’s stop complaining and be content or take the necessary steps to buy something that suits our family better.

Through it all, we need to be examining our hearts. Should I even want a better car or house? Why do I want to be a movie star? What am I so upset about the past? We may even find out that our desire isn’t from God, but from our own selfish motives. However, oftentimes, it isn’t about anything like that, but instead it is frustration at something we did or didn’t do and we cannot now go back and change. Or we are grieving and lost and lonely because of something that happened outside of our control. So what about that?

Let’s try to focus on possible good that has come because of unfavorable circumstances. Perhaps a friendship grew out of a mutual desire to live a frugal life because of a lack of income. Or someone came to know the Lord because you delayed in making that decision to leave your job as soon as you believe you should have. Maybe you came to know the Lord because of your abusive background. Only God can see how the consequences and circumstances have changed not only your life, but the lives of others, as well.

We can only live our lives and make decisions based on what we know (which is why it is so important to know scripture!) and then we need to leave the rest up to God. He, in His sovereignty, will guide us and we need only to submit ourselves to His will for our lives. After that step, then we need to make the best of wherever it is we find ourselves in life. Instead of living with regrets, let’s live with a passionate commitment to Christ and a heart of gratitude. Let’s be devoted to making the very best of where we find ourselves right now– at this very moment.

Instead of focusing on what IFs, let’s focus on what IS.

Are you really saved?

8 Comments / May 24, 2012 July 24, 2023

I have a great fear that in this day and age of “easy-believism” there is a trend to blindly consider ourselves saved and then to continue living our sinful, selfish, and worldly lives without ever changing at all. But if our life has not been transformed or changed in any way are we even really a believer? The testimony found below would indicate that we probably are not saved if this is the case. Spiritual growth happens at different paces and in a multitude of ways– but it always happens in the lives of those that are saved.

Last week a college friend e-mailed me to say “hello”. I hadn’t heard from him personally for some time, but my brother (a good friend of his) had shared his amazing testimony with me a few years ago. This young man had grown up in Christian family and spent all of his life attending church. He attended Christian school and even a Christian college. He was a “good” guy. He thought he was saved but then the Lord, in His amazing grace and mercy, showed Him that he was not. I asked him if I may share his story with you. He kindly said, “yes” and e-mailed me this:

I professed to be a Christian at the age of six years old. My parents had been taking me to church since I was born, and continued taking me as long as I was under their roof. My parents sacrificed to send me to the Christian schools all but three years of my elementary and high school education. I attended two years at Grace College. When I applied at Grace, I was asked if I was a Christian. I assured them I was. I went on a short term mission trip with 59 other high school age kids when I was 17. Again, one of the questions to get on this mission team was if I was a Christian. I assured them I was. I met a wonderful young woman at Grace. When I went to pick her up for the first time at her house, her father grilled me in concern for his daughter. The first question he asked me is if I was a Christian. I assured him I was. Before this young lady went out with me for the second time she asked me if I was a Christian. I assured her I was. After being married for a while she continued to ask me at various intervals if I really was a Christian. Time after time I assured her I was. There were many times during my life that I asked myself that same question: was I a Christian? I assured myself I was. After all, I grew up in the church. I walked up the aisle at church and said that I wanted to ask Jesus into my heart. I was baptized, twice. At each and every step in my life my spiritual state was questioned and I always answered the same: “Of course I am!”

I mentioned that my wife repeatedly asked me if I was a Christian after we were married. She did this because she saw things in my life that seemed contrary to what a Christian is. The biggest thing she saw in my life was apathy towards God. When I sat down in church, as soon as the singing was over I settled down for a nap. I never read the Bible on my own. She never saw me praying. Most of my actions and behavior growing up and after marriage screamed that I was unsaved. In thirty-three years of claiming to be a Christian there was absolutely no growth, no good fruit. How could this be? How could someone claiming to be a Christian for over thirty years have nothing to show for it?

I want to tell you today that the reason there was no good fruit in my life and the reason I was totally apathetic and bored with Biblical things was because I was not a Christian. The knowledge of who Jesus Christ was never made it to my heart. I knew many things about Him. I wanted Him as my Savior, to keep me out of hell. I wanted all the benefits of being a Christian. But I refused to put Jesus as the Lord of my life. I did not serve Him. I did not love Him. I loved myself. I served my sinful desires. Matthew 6:24 says, “No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.” Matthew 7:18-23 is a passage that really wakes a person up. It says, “A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus by their fruit you will recognize them. Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord’, will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophecy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me you evildoers!’

I was a bad tree because I bore no good fruit. Every aspect of my life was bad fruit. But just a few short years ago, when things were getting really bad in my life, I realized that all my fruit was bad because I was not saved. At that moment I turned my life over to Jesus, asked Him to forgive all those years I did things in His name, but in actuality was an evil doer. I asked Him to heal my broken life and help me to love Him with all my heart, mind, strength, and soul. The apathy left me immediately. From that moment on I have loved reading, hearing, and talking about my Savior. Making Jesus my Lord meant that everything I did was with Him in mind. See, I had always believed the basics of the Bible, but we are told that even demons believe, and tremble. All those years, though I believed what the Bible said, I had been a slave to my sinful self, a slave to sin, but now I am a slave to my Savior Jesus Christ. So now I can truly call Him my Savior and Lord.

You see, being a Christian is not just growing up in the church, being good most of the time, doing things in the name of Christianity, and even believing what the Bible says. It is a personal relationship with Jesus. It is loving His name. It is serving Him. And it is longing to be with Him. For years I had a list of things that I wanted to do before going to heaven. But now there is nothing in this world that I desire more than to be with Jesus for all eternity.

I want to thank my friend, Trent, for allowing me to share his testimony with you. He became saved over five years ago now and his thirst for God increases each day. His whole life has changed because he is now truly born again!

Do you yearn to know God more? Are you growing in your knowledge of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ? Do you love the things He loves and hates the things He hates? Are you serving God or are you serving yourself? This is a great day to take an honest look at yourself. Are you really saved?

The Key

5 Comments / May 21, 2012 November 12, 2014

This past weekend I watched Sarah’s Key. I always hesitate to mention specific films but, honestly, I have rarely been touched by a film like I was by that one. It made me think of so many different aspects of life, but primarily it made me contemplate my silly complaining and griping.

As the Jewish family was ripped from familiar surroundings and all of their material possessions, I thought of my discontent when something doesn’t work quite right in my well-loved home. I thought of the times that I have been irritated because we need to spend money to fix something like a septic system or a roof. Why is it such a big deal?

As they got thrown into barracks of the sparsest provisions and endured the worst possible hygiene conditions, I thought of my frustration if the bathroom line is too long at the concert or my displeasure if the house is too hot or cold. Why does it matter so much?

As their days suddenly turned from a blessed normal to a stagnant nightmare, I realized the incredible beauty of ordinary. We have so much if we have commonplace days full of cleaning and laundry and paying bills. Ordinary days of untidy rooms, unending baby cries, and frustrations brought on by a trail of mud in the kitchen are truly wonderful. But we don’t even realize it. Why aren’t we aware of how truly blessed we are?

As the 10 year old daughter, Sarah, lay terribly sick in squalid, unbearable conditions and her mother tried to comfort her without aid of doctors or medicine, I thought of my complaints when I don’t feel well or my kids are sick, all of us always safe in the care of a doctor, with whatever medicine is available, laying in a clean, cozy bed in a warm home. Why are we so thankless?

As Sarah was ripped from her mother’s loving arms, separated forever, I thought of the ridiculousness of so many of our complaints about each other and the sheer futility of so many of our disagreements and arguments. Why are we so petty?

As Sara grappled for an apple thrown over the compound fence by a kind village lady, I thought of our foolish complaints about the food we have to eat. The complaints of something not being done just to our liking or the store lacking the particular brand we wanted. Why don’t we appreciate what we have?

What is wrong with us? Don’t we understand how truly blessed we are?

I would suppose not. It is the nature of humanity to always want something better. We often live in a state of discontent, don’t we? Taking a look at history often reveals our thankless, complaining hearts.

The movie Sarah’s Key was about a young girl with a key. I won’t go into the plot or why she had a key, but I think that there is a parallel here. We have a key to living the Christian life, if only we would use it.

I believe that key is joy. Finding joy in our everyday lives, no matter what the day holds. We need to refuse to give in to darkness and depression and instead choose joy. We have a responsibility to live with the inexplicable joy that only God can give us. And in doing so, we will see things in a totally different way and show the world that Jesus absolutely does make a difference in our lives–even in the worst of times.

God will use us if we choose joy. How about if we remove the disgruntled look — or even the fake smile –many of us wear through the small frustrations we face every day and instead show genuine joy that is welling up from the inside? Let’s show the world what it really means to be a Christian.

John 15:11 These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full.

Romans 15:13 Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

1 Thessalonians 1:6 And you became followers of us and of the Lord, having received the word in much affliction, with joy of the Holy Spirit,

James 1:2-3 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.

I Peter 1: 6-9 In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, ⁷that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ,⁸whom having not seen you love. Though now you do not see Him, yet believing, you rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, ⁹receiving the end of your faith—the salvation of your souls.

Standing out in the crowd

2 Comments / May 17, 2012 May 17, 2012

We had the wonderful privilege of watching our oldest daughter graduate from college this past Saturday. We were able to sit right along the aisle where the graduates walked in and were able to get some great pictures.

However, when your last name begins with an “A” and the line is organized alphabetically, you end up at the very beginning. For this particular line, it meant our daughter was number 8 out of somewhere around 1100 graduates. So, after we had smiled, waved, and taken our fill of pictures of her, we had a lot of graduates to watch walk in. At first, I watched their faces, most with bright eyes and proud smiles. I did see one guy with head phones in – which is worthy of a blog post all on its own (really? on your graduation day?!)

Eventually, my eyes wandered down to the feet walking by me. Hundreds and hundreds of feet covered in almost just as many different styles of shoes. I saw sneakers and sandals and flip flops. I saw a pair of work boots and a pair of brightly colored, flower-printed high, high heels. But the one thing I realized as I watched all of those feet pass by me was that some of the shoes stood out and others just blended in with the rest around them.

As the minutes wore on, I thought about the credit and applause that is often given to people who are independent and willing to be different when it comes to shoes and clothing and lifestyle. “You do whatever you want to do!” we hear. People are told to follow their hearts and live their dreams, no matter what other people think.

But, yet, if we stand out because we aren’t willing to go to a certain movie or wear a bikini or listen to a certain music group – well, suddenly, we aren’t so applauded, are we? Instead we are labeled things like prudish, goody two-shoes, and narrow-minded. In the world we live in, it is a wonderful thing to be different – as long as you are picking the right thing in which to be different.

But I ask you – if we Christians aren’t dramatically different than the world, how will the world know that we have something they may want? What exactly does the Bible mean when it tells us not to love the world? Verses giving this message abound (in John 15:18-19, James 1:27, and I John 2:15-16 just to name a few). It would seem to me that modern day Christianity is telling us the opposite of these verses. Why exactly are we being told that we need to be like the world instead of the scriptural teaching that we shouldn’t be like the world?

I think that is a question that has a multitude of answers and some of them may even make some sense to our finite, human minds. But, as always, we can’t argue with scripture. God tells us to stay unspotted from the world. Our witness for Jesus Christ is at stake here. God calls us out of the world to be light and salt for Him. By being pure and holy in a culture that is drowning in darkness and wickedness we become a beacon in the night to those who are searching for answers.

I know this is so very unpopular, but let’s stand out like a brightly colored pair of shoes in a line of non-descript loafers for following our Savior whole-heartedly. May it not matter what worldly pleasures we have to deny, what cost it be to our personal reputation, or what friendships are affected by it. Let’s be a different brand of Christian and stand up for Jesus!

Stand up, stand up for Jesus
As soldiers of the cross.
Lift high his royal banner;
It must not suffer loss.
From victory unto victory
His army he shall lead
Till every foe is vanquished
And Christ is Lord indeed.

There All Along

Leave a Comment / May 14, 2012 May 14, 2012

I have been buying cilantro these last few months on a regular basis. Cilantro is a wonderful fresh herb that makes salsas and Mexican dishes taste amazing. I tried to grow it last year but I don’t think I gave it enough sunshine and it didn’t last very long. But this spring, as I saw fresh cilantro plants in the grocery store, I would buy one that would last a week or two and then I would buy another one…that would last a week or two. Finally, I went to the nursery and bought a cilantro plant to see if that would be more hardy (it is still alive, by the way). But last Saturday, I went outside and found this:

I stared at it and thought what in the world is this?? I did not plant that there! And then I noticed the leaf and a light bulb went off. I tore a bit off and rubbed it between my fingers. How about that? It was a giant cilantro plant growing right in the middle of my flower garden. The plant was almost as tall as I was. I had been buying cilantro and here I had more than I could ever use right outside my kitchen door.

That is such a great picture of the riches we have in Christ, isn’t it? We long to be filled, so we try to fill ourselves with material possessions, relationships, and power. The satisfaction doesn’t last, so we keep “buying” more…perhaps it is the next level of the job or a bigger house or a different spouse. But the satisfaction always dies and we are left looking for yet one more thing. And, yet, if we are a believer, true and lasting satisfaction is right within our grasp. It is right in front of us and we don’t even realize it.

God waits to give us all we need. He wants to be the One we run to when we are struggling. He is ready to pour out spiritual blessings on us. But we continue to wallow in the mud trying to fill ourselves up and basically making a mess out of things. Buying more stuff only to watch it fade away. Gaining more popularity and power, only to grow old and watch it disappear.

You see, all of life is so fleeting and only one thing is of eternal value. All of our life should be given to knowing Jesus Christ and making Him known. That will fill us in a way that nothing else can. And it will take our eyes off of ourselves and put them on furthering the Kingdom. We live in a lost and dying world and God is waiting for the lost to come to Him, weary and broken and repentant, to give them a new life. But many of us (including me) are so busy trying to fill our own hearts and lives that we can’t worry too much about the lost state of others.

And, yet, just like my cilantro plant, God has been waiting there all along. If we will obey His Word and turn our life completely over to Him, we will be filled and satisfied more than we can ever imagine. Why do we wait?

I am not sure I wanted a cilantro plant in my flower garden. I have an herb garden for such things. But I may just leave it there to serve as a reminder that my God is my comfort and source of satisfaction…that He is my reason for living and my main priority. After all, can you ever have too much cilantro?

Psalm 16:5 O LORD, You are the portion of my inheritance and my cup; You maintain my lot.

Where did the fish go?

Leave a Comment / May 7, 2012 May 7, 2012

This spring we opened our pond to find fish missing. We have had a beautiful pond in our backyard for several years now. The number of fish had grown each year until it had held about 18 fish, a variety of beautiful koi and multicolored goldfish, when we closed our pond last fall. In order to prepare for winter, we had put a small pump in to keep the pond from freezing and covered it with a net to keep the leaves and corn shocks out. But instead of finding all of our fish this spring, we were so disappointed to find only seven of them swimming in the pond when we opened it last week. Seven out of 18! We lost over half of our fish this winter. What happened to them?

We still don’t know. We are assuming a mink or raccoon came in and stole them. Because we live on the edge of a field most of the wild animals can find enough to eat without coming on to our property, but some brave creature must have risked our dogs and my son’s shotgun and decided it was worth the trip. We are guessing it was a creature that prowls about at night. Now we have to figure out how to keep the rest of our fish safe.

We had made an assumption that our fish would be okay over the winter. We had not gone to the pond to count them nor done anything to ensure their safety. We had gone about our lives all winter long, assuming the fish would be there when it was time to re-open the pond. We had nonchalantly made a wrong assumption and it had cost the fish their lives.

Many of us treat our spiritual health like we treated our pond over the winter. We throw a pump in (we go to church every Sunday) and we cast a net over it (turn on Christian music radio) and then we go live our life. But is that enough to keep us spiritually healthy?

I Peter 5:8 says: Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Most of us do not want to think about the devil at work trying to devour us. We prefer not to think about the spiritual battle we are in and instead rest easy assuming we will be just fine. But if I Peter 5:8 is true (and, as it is God’s Word, we know it is) then we have an enemy in the devil. We cannot ever let our guard down. We can never make the assumption that we (or our families) are safe spiritually. We must approach life with open eyes, wisdom, and discernment.

How can this be accomplished? How do we keep our eyes open so that we can make sure we aren’t devoured or even deceived by our enemy?

1) Read God’s Word and pray faithfully. This is tougher than it sounds. I will have a couple of weeks where I read every morning and then I will get busy and find myself having gone a week without opening my Bible. But we have a responsibility to keep our schedules free enough that we have time to include time with God. I am still working on this one!

2) Be sure any resources we read (or listen to) for spiritual growth are biblical. This is a tricky one, because the Christian market today is flooded with books and preachers that claim to be “Christian” but are filled with deceptive, anti-Christian words. We need to constantly be comparing all spiritual material against the words of the Holy scriptures.

3) Use discernment in our entertainment choices. Many people will tell you that it doesn’t matter what you fill your mind with but scripture tells us differently (Philippians 4:8). We cannot expect to fill our minds with all of the things God hates and then be spiritually healthy. Again, this is hard, because we live in a world where entertainment in almost like an idol. But we have a responsibility to guard our spiritual health and bad choices in entertainment may be the number one thing that weakens believers.

4) Confess our sins. This is one I have been thinking about recently. We do not hear much on confession anymore, do we? But in order to confess our sins, we have to ask God to show us our sin. And that leads to awareness. Lots of times I will just go about my life not even realizing the sins I commit against my Heavenly Father every day – even every hour. But if I sit down and take the time to pray and confess, I will realize that I probably didn’t handle the situation with my child correctly or I wasn’t the wife I should have been when we had that argument. Confession leads to a sensitivity of sin.

5) And, finally, we need to always be thinking. We can NEVER let our guard down. In this current age, there are so many attacks on true, biblical Christianity that it is downright frightening. As believers who desire to be spiritually healthy, we never have the luxury to simply just live our lives. Instead, we are in a constant battle with our flesh and with worldly philosophies. We have a responsibility to think about this and to approach all of life with wisdom instead of blind acceptance.

Ephesians 6:10-20 describes the armor we are to wear as believers. Armor is worn for battles. We can safely assume that if Paul gave us a detailed description of the spiritual armor we are to wear, then we are in a spiritual battle. How is your battle looking? Are you winning? Or is the devil winning? Do you even care?

We lost over half of our fish before we became aware that there was even a problem. We nonchalantly and naively assumed they were fine. This same nonchalance, if used to approach our spiritual health, will lead to the loss of more than a few fish, if we don’t pay close attention.

It’s a Choice.

Leave a Comment / May 3, 2012 May 3, 2016

Last night I kept waking up. Have you ever had one of those nights? First, it was an alarm that was accidentally set for 1:07am (how in the world did that happen?) and then came a storm (Oh, no! All of the computers are plugged in! And what about my young plants sitting on the porch?!) I hate nights like that. You wake up feeling like you haven’t slept at all. And you start thinking, “this is going to be a bad day.” That’s what I used to do, anyway. I would give myself license to be grumpy and short-tempered after I hadn’t slept well. But then came that night long ago…

It was one of those nights as a young mom that you dread. Yay! The baby fell asleep. You nod off…for 2 minutes…only to be awakened by a loud cry. Uugh. You head back to the baby’s room to pat her for 20 minutes. You tiptoe out of the room. The cry starts up again. You go back to pat her. She is finally asleep! This happens 2 or 3 more times through the night. Is the baby teething? Or is something wrong? Should I take her to the doctor tomorrow? The baby finally is asleep for the night and then your 3 year old has a nightmare. And so he climbs into bed with you and you feel like the middle of an oreo for the next couple of hours. As you lay there, tossing and turning, the problems of your life magnify and you grow fearful of how you are going to afford something or why someone said something hurtful to you or you worry that something is seriously wrong with the baby and you play it all out in your head. Have you ever had a night like that? They are dark and very long.

But morning light comes. And that morning long ago, after a night something like that, I awoke, took two seconds to remember that my night at been just awful, and knew then and there that this was going to be a terrible day. I could feel the “grumpiness” welling up inside me.

As I headed into the shower to try to wake up and stood there letting the hot water stream down over my body I suddenly had this thought (which I believe God gave me): “It’s a choice.”

What?! Again that thought: It’s a choice. You do not have to have a bad day just because you didn’t sleep well. But of course I do, I argued inside of my head. How in the world can I function on such a small amount of sleep? I am someone who needs 8 hours of sleep. You know that, God, because you designed me that way. If I don’t get 8 hours I get irritable and ill-tempered. But these words kept coming back: It’s a choice. And I stopped arguing because I knew that it was true.

I stepped out of that shower a different person than I went in. As silly as it sounds, I had never thought through the fact that, no matter what circumstances we want to blame our choices on, we do make a choice about whether we will be irritable or whether we will be considerate. We choose to be kind or we choose to be brusque in how we respond to others.

Now, I definitely still struggle with this. But that incident was a defining moment for me. I no longer blame my attitude on a lack of sleep. Because, clearly, I have a choice. And so, even thought I didn’t sleep well last night, I choose that this day will not be ruined by my bad night’s sleep!

Getting Dropped

2 Comments / April 30, 2012 April 30, 2012

I read through the letter in my hand. Disbelief was first. Then came anger. And, finally, resignation. After all, what could we do? What I was looking at was a letter from the auto insurance company we had been with for over 20 years. I held a letter stating that they were dropping our family due to two cars being totaled within two years. Really? These were the first big accidents that had occurred in our family in all of those years. Apparently that doesn’t matter in the auto insurance world.

And, suddenly, we were on the hunt for a new auto insurance company, which wasn’t going to be easy given that we were just “dropped” by our former company. I called a couple of different agents and they started running the numbers. It wasn’t looking great. Finally, I got a call with a pretty decent number. The estimate was e-mailed and as I went over it my eyes slid to the words “6 month policy”. Oh, great. No wonder the number was decent – it was only for 6 months. So that meant the quoted number was multiplied times two for what looked like a pretty outrageous yearly rate.

Frustration set in. It just didn’t seem fair. In fact, when the agent called me about setting up the policy I started complaining about how unfair life is in the insurance world. She kindly said she understood and the conversation continued on like that for a moment.

And then, all of a sudden, I stopped. It dawned on me that we are all still alive after two serious accidents. It really was amazing that we walked away without injuries or even death. And then I thought of something else to be thankful for: we can afford to pay the new policy. Oh, we don’t like it and it is annoying…but we can afford it. I was ashamed. I was complaining when I should have been thanking the Lord, once again, for sparing my family in not one, but two, accidents. I should have been thanking the Lord that we were not making a choice between driving and eating.

Oftentimes the irritations we face in life are such small trials in the scope of life. They are inconvenient and annoying. We view them as major trials because they take us out of our comfort zones and force us to go a different direction than we wanted to go. Meanwhile, all around us, are people who are going through what I would call real trials – a loved one with cancer, a birth defect that changes everything, or the loss of a job and questions about survival, just to name a few.

James 1:2 tells us to count it all joy when you fall into various trials. We all face various trials – some are very small and some are very large. But through it all, it is very important to keep perspective and a thankful heart. Many of the small trials grow very dim in the light of the many blessings we have.

And so our family is paying an exorbitant amount for auto insurance this year. But we are all alive and it won’t keep us from eating so I am thankful!

Pushing Too Hard

4 Comments / April 26, 2012 April 26, 2012

A few evenings ago I found myself grating soap for a project*. Three bars of Fels-Naptha soap had to be grated into a bucket for this project to be completed. And so I unwrapped the first bar and started grating. I pushed really hard on the grater and could feel its plastic frame bending beneath the pressure. My arm grew tired and I started wondering what I had gotten myself into. When I had only a little bit of that first bar left, it hit me. Pushing the soap onto the grater so strongly may be hindering this process…not helping. And so with the next bar, I decided to let the grater do the work. Instead of pushing, I simply guided the soap. The last two bars went so much more smoothly than that first one and were half the work. And I realized that had I kept pushing so hard, I would have probably broken my grater and came away from the project with a very sore arm.

And I wondered…could this be similar to how it works with someone we love? Specifically, I was thinking of my husband and older children. When I see something in their lives that just isn’t honoring the Lord, do I tend to push (nag, complain, punish, constantly bring it up)?

Of course, there are situations where we have to push. But, more often than not, in my own personal experience, pushing leads to broken relationships and a very tired “pusher”. Could it be that guiding and praying is a better way to deal with some situations?

I can think of several issues over the years where this has been true, but most recently, a specific issue comes to mind. A few years ago I became very concerned about a pattern I was seeing in the life of one of my children. This child was drinking multiple sodas every day and eating a ton of candy. They were old enough to make their own decisions and spent enough time outside our home that I could not control what they were putting into their body. I grew worried about the long-term ramifications of this pattern and so I started pushing. “You shouldn’t be drinking this.” “You shouldn’t be eating that.” I was mostly ignored. “I’ve got to die from something, Mom,” they would say. After awhile, I realized that my words weren’t helping and I backed off and started praying.

That was probably a year ago now. A few months ago, this child started making changes in their eating patterns. Awareness had dawned and changes were following. Only a few weeks ago, this same child came to me one morning and shared their serious intention to start curbing their sugar intake. Their choices since then shows that they meant what they said that day. Wow. Really? Thank you, Lord! You can change my child without my constant pushing and nagging!

Parenting is tough. Marriage is tough. But perhaps sometimes we make it so much harder when we try to push and pull and be the ones to bring about change in the lives of the ones we love instead of leaving it up to God?

And that is what I learned from grating a few bars of soap.

*In case you are curious, the project was making my own powdered detergent for my HE washer. I found the recipe on Pinterest and thought I would give it a try. I have used it for several loads already and so far, so good!