Struggles

When the rains come rushing down

2 Comments / November 1, 2012

As I lay in my bed last night trying to figure out what I should write this morning, my daughter came in to say goodnight. We are expecting a major storm here today and so we are all a little nervous.  Before she left my room, she spent a few minutes saying goodnight to Belle, our little white dog. And then she said, “When the winds start to blow and the rain comes rushing down, hug Belle extra hard, ’cause she’s scared of the storms!” She was being silly, but her words struck a chord inside. I knew that God had hugged our family extra hard this year and it was time to tell you about it.

Nine months ago, almost to the day, we made the decision to leave the church we had attended for twenty-five years. I am not going to go into why we made that decision, as we love the people at that church very much and certainly wish them no ill will.  But we both knew that God had made it clear: we were to move on. We had poured our hearts and souls into that church and it is probably the hardest decision we have ever made.  And around us, the winds started to howl and the rains came rushing down. We felt alone and adrift.

We ended up settling in at a large church and decided to just sit back and take in the teaching of Pastor B. He is a godly man who teaches in such a way that all of us not only learn a lot, but also enjoy it. But each Sunday, we would go to church and sit down to listen. After the service, we would get up and we would look around. No one cared that we were there. We didn’t matter. And, lest I give the wrong idea here, let me be clear: our new church was very friendly. They really were. It was just we went from being surrounded by what felt like a comfortable family to being surrounded by strangers.

But then God did something amazing. He brought a family into our lives that truly wrapped their love and care around us. I am not sure they will ever know how much God used them in our tumultuous year. When we were in our loneliest hours, we clung to them. They probably got sick of us always making a beeline for them after any church service, being so thankful not to stand so conspicuously alone.

And slowly, but surely, God did amazing things that came out of our obedience to Him.  I would like to share just a few with you.

When we left our church, one of our secretaries for our business was our old pastor’s wife. We knew when we made our decision to leave, that we were probably going to put our business into an upheaval, as well as our lives. And, a few weeks after we left the church, she handed in her resignation. We had a crazy, terrible month and then God, as He often will, stepped up and provided a wonderful woman who we heard about through a family in our new church. The story of how she came to us and how the situation was perfect for her, as well, is almost…well, miraculous. It could have only been a God thing. She has been such a blessing to us. And then, as if that wasn’t enough, God gave us an extra blessing by bringing her hard-working nephew (also a member of our new church) to work for our company a few months ago. We would have never met either of these employees if we hadn’t switched churches.

Another really cool thing God did was orchestrate an almost instant friendship. I had spoken at a Moms’ Group at a local church last spring. As I spoke I talked about some hard things and mentioned that I had recently switched churches. After I was done, a lady came up to me and told me how much she had appreciated what I had said and we chatted for awhile. I had a feeling we could be friends. And then we realized that we now were going to the same church. Over the course of a few months, our friendship has grown and she has introduced me to several other ladies at the church.  All because I “happened” to speak where she “happened” to be.

I also have a dear friend who has supported my blogging for awhile now. She is such an encouragement to me. Her husband and mine have become friends, as they both are in the same business. We knew this family because our kids go to school together and lo and behold, this family goes to our new church, too. We have so enjoyed getting to know them better.

And, finally, I want to share with you how I have prayed for my children. That, by far, was my biggest concern in switching churches. And so I prayed. A lot. And God has answered in big ways. Oh, it is taking time, as all friendships do, but I can see friendships that are starting to blossom for each one of them.

I am humbled and oh, so thankful.

And, so, God has stepped up to provide for us in ways we could never have foreseen. The rain came rushing down and He hugged us extra hard. He provided for our needs, and even a few wants, as we stepped out in obedience into the unknown.

God is so faithful!

And, so, may I leave you with this? Don’t ever let fear keep you from obeying the Lord. Yes, you may end up in the middle of the field with the wind howling about you and the rain rushing down in a torrent, but that is when God hugs you extra hard.

Lamentations 3:22-24

Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed,
Because His compassions fail not.
23 They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
24 “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
“Therefore I hope in Him!”

Keep Kicking

Leave a Comment / November 7, 2018

The other day, while playing soccer, my daughter’s cleat came off. She was fighting for the ball and as she kicked, her shoe slipped off and landed a few feet away. She kept playing as best she could without one cleat. Thankfully, a couple of seconds later, the action moved a few feet away and she grabbed it and started to put it on. It was almost on, when the ball came right at her.  Girls came flocking at and around her and she stood up and she gave that soccer ball a good kick out of danger, while off went the shoe flying through the air, almost as far as the ball! We all laughed but as I watched her go about putting the shoe on properly, all the while keeping an eye on the action, I noticed she did what she always does – she gave 100 percent. It did not matter if her shoe was off or on or partly on, she just kept playing, as needed.

And then it hit me–what a great lesson for life! So many days something small happens to me and instead of responding with joy and love, I feel myself shrink inside and I withdraw or lash out. I end up laying there on the field struggling to put my shoe on, not paying attention or caring about what’s going on with anyone around me.

These little incidents happen every day to most of us. They are things like unexpected bills, internet that decides to stop working, a rude phone call or email, a disobedient or rebellious child, a vehicle that breaks down, and a scales that is showing a depressing number, just to name a few of the many things that go wrong almost every day.

Sometimes when these things happen, I find myself sinking into a well of self-pity. Why me? Why now? Poor me. Why do we let these things affect our mood?  Instead, we should be putting that shoe back on, all the while keeping an eye out for what’s going in the rest of life’s game. However, sadly, many of us end up laying on the field, holding our shoe, and crying for someone to pay attention to our woes.

Oswald Chambers says this about self-pity:

“Self-pity is of the devil, and if I wallow in it I cannot be used by God for His purpose in the world.”

And I will add this by Elisabeth Elliot:

“Self-pity is a death that has no resurrection, a sinkhole from which no rescuing hand can drag you because you have chosen to sink.”

Have you ever given thought to just how dangerous it is to sit on the field of life and pity yourself? God is always working on me and this week He has helped me to see that taking a break to lick my wounds and say “woe is me!” just isn’t an option for a Christian. No matter what happens to me, I need to keep going.

Okay, so some days it isn’t just a shoe. Last spring, my other daughter took a soccer ball to the wrist during a game. She kept going, but I could see she was in a lot of pain, until finally she told her coach to take her out. She got some Advil and went back in the second half. We found out later that the excruciating pain was due to a broken bone and she was out for a good part of the season. But she kept going to all of the games and sat on the sidelines, cheering and encouraging the girls.

We get broken bones, too, sometimes. Terrible, painful things happen to us, things like disease, death, lost jobs, and broken relationships. Sometimes we need to pull back from life and work through our grief and pain. And so we sit on the sideline for a temporary time, until such a time that we are healed enough to return to the game.

God uses so many things to help us become more like Jesus. Big trials and small annoyances. But if we are wallowing in self-pity, we will never have the opportunity to figure out what he is trying to teach us. Self-pity is a danger to our soul. May we never forget it!

 

 

Wednesday Wisdom: 12 Ways to Ruin Your Children

11 Comments / October 17, 2012

My parents are moving and while going through some things, my mom found this short article she had cut from a local newspaper dated November 23, 1959. It makes you realize just how far we have strayed from common sense parenting.

Here it is, in its entirety:

The Police Department of Houston, Tex., is distributing a leaflet entitled “Twelve Rules for Raising Delinquent Children.” The New Era is reprinting the article in full, as a public service:

1.  Begin with infancy to give the child everything he wants. In this way he will grow up to believe that the world owes him a living.

2.  When he picks up bad words, laugh at him. This will make him think he’s cute. It will also encourage him to pick up “cuter” phrases that will blow off the top of your head later.

3.  Never give him any spiritual training. Wait until he is 21 and then let him ‘decide for himself’.

4.  Avoid use of the word ‘wrong’. It may develop a guilt complex.  This will condition him to believe later, when he is arrested for stealing a car, that society is against him and he is being persecuted.

5.  Pick up everything he leaves lying around–books, shoes, clothes. Do everything for him so that he will be experienced in throwing all responsibility on others.

6.  Let him read any printed matter he can get his hands on. Be careful that the silverware and drinking glasses are sterilized, but let his mind feast on garbage.

7.  Quarrel frequently in the presence of your children. In this way they will not be too shocked when the home is broken up later.

8.  Give a child all the spending money he wants. Never let him earn his own. Why should he have things as tough as you had them?

9.  Satisfy his every craving for food, drink, and comfort. See that every sensual desire is gratified. Denial may lead to harmful frustration.

10. Take his part against neighbors, teachers, policemen. They are all prejudiced against your child.

11.  When he gets into real trouble, apologize for yourself by saying, “I could never do anything with him.”

12.  Prepare for a life of grief. You will be likely to have it.

Can you see that ant?

2 Comments / October 15, 2012
There is an ant here. Can you see it?

 

We recently installed granite in our kitchen. It is a lovely variegated stone with tans and creams and black.  And while I absolutely love how the granite looks, I realized that there is now an awful lot that I can’t see. It is so good at hiding dirt that it is hard to tell that there is any unless you rub your hand across it and feel the gritty surface.

This fall has brought an onslaught of ants to our kitchen sink area and, like you may have already guessed, they are hard to spot on our new counters. They hurry and scurry across the surface, but I really have to look to find them in the multicolored granite.  Now, when my counter tops were a single light color I could easily spot any insect invader.

Hmmm…those ants remind me of sins that go unnoticed in my life, if I am trying to live with one foot in the world and one foot out.  When I am caught up in worldly passions and interests and am trying to mix it all up with my love for Christ and holy living, then I tend to minimize or not even notice the sin in my life.  Instead of contrasting my sin against the purity of Christ, I compare my “weaknesses” and “flaws” to those of  others. “I am not as bad as they are,” I say.

And you know what? When we compare our lives to someone else’s we always have a hard time finding our own sin. It’s there, but it’s like a little miniscule ant getting lost in the big world full of sinners. But when I look towards Christ, my sin all of a sudden shows clearly, like a giant spot of black grease on a white shirt.

I have been thinking about this a lot recently and, to tell you the truth, sometimes it can be overwhelming. When I compare myself to the purity of Christ it isn’t hard to see how and why I don’t measure up in God’s eyes in a thousand different ways. But that makes salvation all the more glorious!  This is one reason it is so important to see my own sin clearly. But not only does this help me appreciate my Savior more, it also gives me an opportunity to show the world that there is victory over sin!

So many of us live in a constant state of defeat. We languish in bad habits and hurtful attitudes for our whole lives. Why?

*Eric Ludy says this: “We are so used to hearing futility, we are so used to hearing about the failure, and we know the failure in our own life, that we don’t believe in victory anymore.”

I believe that’s true.

But it is only by acknowledging sin that we can even begin the journey to victory. And sin, especially in the life of a Christian, can be subtle and hidden.  Oh, God will show us if we are looking for it, but if we aren’t, it tends to get lost in our worldly lifestyles, just like the ants on my granite counter top.

May we be wholly devoted to becoming like Jesus. May we throw away our pride and our rebellion, so that we may instead be aware of the sin in our life, and then repent  and grow as a believer. May we truly understand just how sinful we are so that we can better understand just how awesome our Savior is! And may we show a dying world that there is victory over sin!

 

I Corinthians 15:56-58 The sting of death is sin, and the strength of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord.

 

*Eric Ludy “The Spirit is Willing” 

Who Do You Look Like?

Leave a Comment / November 1, 2012

When my son was just a little boy, he used to play little league baseball. One day, as I was chatting on the sidelines with one of the moms, she said something like this, “Oh, I know who you look like! I have been trying to think of who you look like and now I have figured it out!” I looked at her, very curious to hear who she thought I resembled. Her next words could have knocked me over with a feather.

“You look just like Cindy Crawford!”

What?? That is the first (and last!) time that anyone has ever compared me to a beautiful model.  But I certainly felt honored. I knew this was a situation where she had no need to flatter or impress me, so I knew she had said it sincerely.

As I remembered this incident the other day, I thought about how my heart’s desire shouldn’t be for people to tell me I look like Cindy Crawford (or any other well-known, gorgeous woman) but, instead, to tell me that I look like Jesus.

Now, while I will never resemble Jesus physically, as he is a man from the middle east, I can resemble him by my actions. As we grow in Christ, we should grow more and more like Him.

Stop and take a minute to think about your life. I know for my own life, there are many areas in which I haven’t resembled Jesus at all.

Here are a few areas for us to think about —

1. Do I look like Jesus in how I love others? Look, anyone can feed orphans or go on a mission trip. I am not talking about the socially acceptable “love for others”, I am talking about the love for others we show in our everyday world.  The reactions and choices we make around our families and in our daily living. When a spouse needs some help and we are lying comfortably on the sofa, do we get up? When there is an interruption to a favorite TV show, do we grow quickly frustrated? When we are in a long line at the store, do we give the clerk an angry look or shower her with frustrated words? If someone criticizes you, do you grow defensive or hold a grudge? All of these are just normal, everyday occurrences, where we have the opportunity to look like Jesus…or not.

2. Do I look like Jesus in what I choose to do with my time? This question covers a lot of ground, doesn’t it? Would Jesus spend so much time on _________? (you fill in the blank with your favorite, time-consuming hobby or pastime). Would Jesus spend so many hours doing this, if there is no eternal value? Of course, there is nothing wrong with hobbies, but we do need to keep it all balanced. It also covers this question: do I spend my precious hours on entertainment that will make others think of Jesus? Or do I waste hours and hours on movies, video games, and listening to music that is against everything my precious Savior stands for?

3. Do I look like Jesus in the area of self-disicpline? This is a challenging question that encompasses two big areas: money and food. I covered the question of food in my recent post entitled The Sin No One Wants to Talk About, so I will move on to the other area– money. This is a challenging one. Money is one of those things where we can hide our true state of affairs. In this age of credit and debt, no one really knows how anyone is doing financially until they completely crash and burn. But, whether we make a little or a lot, we need to ask ourselves if we look like Jesus in how we spend our money. Are we focused on the here and now or are we focused on the eternal? Jesus was very clearly focused on the eternal, which is clear in scripture. So, in order to grow more like Christ, my priorities should be the same.

4. Do I look like Jesus in the words I speak? Words are so powerful. They can cut to the core. I have always thought that the old adage “sticks and stones can hurt my bones, but words will never hurt me,” to be one of the dumbest things I have ever heard. Word do hurt– dreadfully. Whether we are talking about someone else behind his back (otherwise known as gossip) or are short-tempered and unkind to someone’s face, words are one of the quickest ways to tell if we resemble Jesus.

 

I don’t know about you, but I see much room for growth in many areas of my own life. In fact, I feel like the older I get, the more work I see ahead of me. But when I look back, I also see that I have come so far. And so, I will keep on going. I know I may not look like Cindy Crawford anymore — it is my guess that, to most people, I never did in the first place — but oh, how I hope I resemble Jesus more and more as I grow older.

I Peter 2:5-11

 But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, 6 to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, 7 to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love. 8 For if these things are yours and abound, you will be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 For he who lacks these things is shortsighted, even to blindness, and has forgotten that he was cleansed from his old sins.10 Therefore, brethren, be even more diligent to make your call and election sure, for if you do these things you will never stumble; 11 for so an entrance will be supplied to you abundantly into the everlasting kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Wednesday Wisdom: A Call to Prayer

Leave a Comment / October 10, 2012

“Faith is to the soul what life is to the body. Prayer is to faith what breath is to life. How a man can live and not breathe is past my comprehension, and how a man can believe and not pray is past my comprehension too.”  These words are part of this excerpt from J.C. Ryle’s book entitled: A Call to Prayer. This book is short and easy to read and challenged me to make proper prayer a priority. I highly recommend it.

I ask again whether you pray, because a habit of prayer is one of the surest marks of a true Christian. All the children of God on earth are alike in this respect. From the moment there is any life and reality about their religion, they pray. Just as the first sign of life in an infant when born into the world is the act of breathing, so the first act of men and women when they are born again is praying. This is one of the common marks of all the elect of God, “They cry unto him day and night” (Luk_18:1). The” Holy Spirit, who makes them new creatures, works in them the feeling of adoption, and makes them cry, “Abba, Father” (Rom_8:15). The Lord Jesus, when he quickens them, gives them a voice and a tongue, and says to them, “Be dumb no more.” God has no dumb children. It is as much a part of their new nature to pray, as it is of a child to cry. They see their need of mercy and grace. They feel their emptiness and weakness. They cannot do otherwise than they do. They must pray. I have looked carefully over the lives of God’s saints in the Bible. I cannot find one of whose history much is told us, from Genesis to Revelation, who was not a man of prayer. I find it mentioned as a characteristic of the godly, that “they call on the Father” (1Pe_1:17), or “the name of the Lord Jesus Christ” (1Co_1:2). Recorded as a characteristic of the wicked is the fact that “they call not upon the Lord” (Psa_14:4).

I have read the lives of many eminent Christians who have been on earth since the Bible days. Some of them, I see, were rich, and some poor. Some were learned, and some unlearned. Some of them were Episcopalians, and some Christians of other names. Some were Calvinists, and some were Arminians. Some have loved to use a liturgy, and some to use none. But one thing, I see, they all had in common. They have all been men of prayer.

I study the reports of missionary societies in our own times. I see with joy that heathen men and women are receiving the gospel in various parts of the globe. There are conversions in Africa, in New Zealand, in Hindustan, in China. The people converted are naturally unlike one another in every respect. But one striking thing I observe at all the missionary stations: the converted people always pray.

I do not deny that a man may pray without heart and without sincerity. I do not for a moment pretend to say that the mere fact of a person’s praying proves everything about his soul. As in every other part of religion, so also in this, there may be deception and hypocrisy. But this I do say, that not praying is a clear proof that a man is not yet a true Christian. He cannot really feel his sins. He cannot love God. He cannot feel himself a debtor to Christ, He cannot long after holiness. He cannot desire heaven. He has yet to be born again. He has yet to be made a new creature. He may boast confidently of election, grace, faith, hope, and knowledge, and deceive ignorant people. But you may rest assured it is all vain talk if he does not pray.

And I say, furthermore, that of all the evidences of the real work of the Spirit, a habit of hearty private prayer is one of the most satisfactory that can be named. A man may preach from false motives. A man may write books and make fine speeches and seem diligent in good works, and yet be a Judas Iscariot. But a man seldom goes into his closet, and pours out his soul before God in secret, unless he is in earnest. The Lord himself has set his stamp on prayer as the best proof of a true conversion. When he sent Ananias to Saul in Damascus, he gave him no other evidence of his change of heart than this, “Behold, he prayeth ” (Act_9:11).

I know that much may go on in a man’s mind before he is brought to pray. He may have many convictions, desires, wishes, feelings, intentions, resolutions, hopes, and fears. But all these things are very uncertain evidences. They are to be found in ungodly people, and often come to nothing. In many a case they are not more lasting than the morning cloud, and the dew that passeth away. A real, hearty prayer, coming from a broken and contrite spirit, is worth all these things put together. I know that the Holy Spirit, who calls sinners from their evil ways, does in many instances lead them by very slow degrees to acquaintance with Christ. But the eye of man can only judge by what it sees. I cannot call any one justified until he believes. I dare not say that any one believes until he prays. I cannot understand a dumb faith, The first act of faith will be to speak to God. Faith is to the soul what life is to the body. Prayer is to faith what breath is to life. How a man can live and not breathe is past my comprehension, and how a man can believe and not pray is past my comprehension too.

Never be surprised if you hear ministers of the gospel dwelling much on the importance of prayer. This is the point we want to bring you to; we want to know that you pray. Your views of doctrine may be correct. Your love of Protestantism may be warm and unmistakable. But still this may be nothing more than head knowledge and party spirit.

We want to know whether you are actually acquainted with the throne of grace, and whether you can speak to God as well as speak about God.

Do you wish to find out whether you are a true Christian? Then rest assured that my question is of the very first importance — Do you pray?

Ryle, J.C. (2011-01-10). A CALL TO PRAYER. Kindle Edition.

 

The Kindle edition of this wonderful book is only 99 cents over at Amazon. Click here if you are interested in reading this little gem.

 

The sin no one wants to talk about

3 Comments / October 8, 2012

I have been so convicted lately of something in my life that isn’t quite right. Oh, it’s not out of control, but it’s not quite right. I know in my heart that I haven’t surrendered this area of my life to my Lord and Savior. It’s one of those things that none of us want to admit.

The area I am talking about is food. And lest you say, “Oh, I don’t have a weight issue,” might I remind you that this has nothing to do with weight, but instead about your relationship with food? I have seen skinny women who eat like a pig. I have seen healthy women that the world would call overweight. I have seen women who look like a stick obsess over every bite they put in their mouth. I have seen overweight women who fill their bodies with fat, sugar, and carbs, leaving little room for anything healthy…and I have seen extremely thin women who do the same thing.

And, lest I forget, this is not just about women. Men have issues with food, too.  For some of us, this sin is so obvious in the extra weight we carry around. Or perhaps it’s obvious in our unhealthy thinness.  But, then again, let’s remember that God made every body differently, and so this isn’t about judging anyone else, because it is a very private and personal area of our lives so that only we can know personally if this is an issue for us. And that means as you read this, you can only think about yourself. What is your relationship with food?

For many of us food is our comfort, strength, and go-to remedy. But for some of us our ability to control what we eat becomes our source of security and stability in our lives. And then there are those of us who simply love to eat and so we do, giving no thought to the consequences of our big appetites.

Gluttony. When’s the last time you heard that word? Or how about the word “idol” in regards to our relationship with food? So many of us Christians have an unhealthy relationship with food, that we dare not talk about this subject too much.

It’s so easy to talk about things like anger and gossip and slander. It’s easy to preach about stealing and lying and cheating. But self-control in regards to our food? Boy, that hits right at the heart of most of us “good” Christians, doesn’t it?

And maybe I am alone here. But I realized, yet again, that I am to surrender EVERY area of my life to Jesus. I can’t pick and choose. I can’t tell Him that I don’t cheat or lie or steal, so I will eat how much of whatever I want, thank you very much. It just doesn’t work like that. If you are saved, then you are no longer yours, but have dedicated to live your life for Christ and Christ alone. This encompasses everything.

Another thing I have realized as I am working my way through this is that there are no bad foods. Okay, let me take that back– highly processed and chemically generated foods probably classify as bad foods. But it is not wrong to eat dessert or to have fries or a doughnut. In the Bible days, and even in many poor countries yet today, bread is the staple.  Carbs are not evil. God has given us good things, and we should enjoy them.

My problem is I want to enjoy them too much. There is always a special event or a birthday or a bad day or a great day–anything I can do to rationalize an extra snack. It’s about moderation.

And, while there aren’t necessarily bad foods, there are definitely good foods. There are many benefits from eating our fruits and veggies and even most meats.

But this isn’t a blogpost about nutrition. This is about our relationship with food. And, once again, there are women (of which I am not one) whose relationship with food becomes an obsession. They are so concerned about not gaining weight or with how they look, that self and the control not to eat becomes the idol. It goes so far beyond weight or the perception of others. This is a heart issue.

Personally, I find myself looking very forward to the Marriage Supper of the Lamb mentioned in Revelation 19, where I will be able to eat to my heart’s content, without any concern for the food’s nutrition (I guess it will be nutritionally perfect, anyway?) or the damage it will do to my hips! But, until then, I have a responsibility to have a healthy and balanced relationship with the food I eat. It is a never-ending battle that rages within me, but I cannot quit…and neither can you.

I Corinthians 10:31 Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.

You are judging me for…that??

Leave a Comment / September 22, 2016

I will never forget this one time that I was at a friend’s house. She offered one of my kids a pop-tart and a glass of milk. We weren’t big milk drinkers (still aren’t, in fact) and so I asked for a glass of orange juice for them, instead. You would have thought I said I was going to have an affair with the mailman.

“You drink orange juice with your pop-tart?! NO ONE drinks orange juice with a pop-tart. You have to drink milk!”

I was so taken aback. I mean – does it really matter what our family chooses to drink with our pop-tarts?

We Christians do this stuff ALL THE TIME. We judge others on the dumbest stuff.

We judge on —

–clothing styles (can you believe she got that dressed up to go there?)

–food choices (I can’t believe they go to fast food restaurants so often)

–cars (He must really be arrogant to drive that car)

–shopping choices (did you see the color of that stroller?)

–words (that was certainly an unintelligent thing to say to his boss)

–decor (that is the ugliest lamp I have ever seen!)

The list could go on and on. I have heard and made judgments about others more times than I can count. But when we stop to think about it, none of that stuff above really matters. Thankfully, God made us all differently and that means that she might like that lamp or the color of that stroller. Perhaps he is driving that car without any sense of arrogance, but instead gratitude towards God for allowing him the privilege to drive it. Perhaps that family chose to go for fast food several times in one week because of a busy schedule and rarely does that.

Ironically, oftentimes, those who judge the harshest on the things that don’t matter completely ignore the things that do matter. And so if someone dares to question a choice that would affect their relationship with God or their personal holiness, the cries of “you are judgmental!” leap from their lips.

For some reason, we have it all backwards in this Christian culture. It’s okay to judge others regarding the stuff that doesn’t matter, but how dare we judge the things that DO matter?

But God tells us in Matthew 16, that we will be able to tell believers and non-believers apart by their fruit. That means that we have to be judging the fruit in order to determine if it is good or bad. We are to be loving, kind, and patient…but we are to look for fruit.  He also tells us in Galatians 6 to restore a brother gently if he is overtaken by a trespass. We cannot do this without looking at the fruit of our Christian brothers and sisters…what so many people like to call “judging”.

Look, I am not condoning that we all go out and conduct a mass judgement on our brothers and sisters in the Lord regarding their spiritual fruits. What I am saying is that A) we should never judge on the stuff that doesn’t matter and B) We need to carefully pray over and confront, if necessary, the stuff that does matter.

Oh, and one more thing–we can’t know what really matters to God if we don’t read His word. There is a lot of leftover legalism that is thrown around yet and so we need to be in God’s word and learning to know Him, so that we can truly understand what sin is and what holiness is and what it really means to please our Father in heaven.

Let’s offer so much grace for the stuff that doesn’t matter. I mean who really cares, anyway? We wouldn’t want to all be alike, now would we?

And let’s offer love and kindness if we do see a sin that needs confronted.

And, most importantly, let’s offer humility if we are the one in sin who gets confronted.

In my opinion, if every Christian would put these three things in practice it would change the entire culture of the church.

Galatians 6:1-2  Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

Matthew 7:13-20 Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it. Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thorn bushes or figs from thistles? Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Therefore by their fruits you will know them.

Are we forgetting about one of our greatest treasures?

Leave a Comment / March 4, 2015

It is with great sadness that I realize that there has been a tremendous breakdown between the elderly and the youth in the last few decades. Gone are the days when Grandpa or Grandma would move in with son or daughter.  Gone are the days when we honored the elderly. Now youth are more apt to think that the old can’t possibly understand anything they are going through and many of the older generation are responding by moving away somewhere to enjoy retirement. Even in our churches, we have separated the old and the young. We have traditional services and contemporary services.  They may as well have the titles “Old” and “Young”. Instead of enjoying the support system that God has set up for us, we have become fractured and independent.

The thing that I find most interesting is that if we take the time to talk to someone, let’s say over 70, we will be amazed at how much they know and understand. You see, while technology and fashions change, our feelings and thoughts rarely do. They struggled with anger and forgiveness– just like us. They fell in love and had their hearts broken–just like us.  They had kids who were challenges; they had financial struggles; they had church difficulties. Most of them have been through wars and civil unrest and the breakdown of the church. And they learned from all of these things. They came through them and have the hindsight that we so often wish we had!  Why don’t we ask?  It is my opinion that if we would humble ourselves and listen to some of the lessons they have learned and the advice many of them would willingly give we would all be in a much better place.

God makes it clear that we are to learn from godly older men and women.  God set it up so that we become wiser as we grow older. So that by the time we have gray hair, it should be a crown of glory because it is an indication that we are walking in righteousness.  Sure there are exceptions to this, but as a general rule, wisdom comes with age.  But if the younger are too arrogant to learn from the older, then what good is the crown of glory to any of us?

Perhaps we should humble ourselves and learn from those who have walked the path of life before us. Perhaps the wisdom that surrounds us in the form of the older people in our lives is one of our greatest treasures.

 

Proverbs 16:31 The silver-haired head is a crown of glory, If it is found in the way of righteousness.

Titus 2:1-5 But as for you, speak the things which are proper for sound doctrine: that the older men be sober, reverent, temperate, sound in faith, in love, in patience; the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things— that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.

A Wedding Story

2 Comments / September 27, 2012

The following is a true story. I heard it firsthand from a friend who was involved in this wedding.  I do not know the bride, the groom, or any of their family or friends. I want to tell you this story because I think we Christians are totally unaware of the damage being done to the cause of Christ by our worldly weddings. Please note that, while I am sticking to the main points of the actual story, I have added a few extra details to make it read more like a story.

Once upon a time two Christian young people got engaged. They had a wonderful time planning their wedding and reception. They wanted to have a Christian wedding but they were also determined to include an open bar and dancing at their wedding. It was a celebration and they deserved to celebrate! Some frowned at their decision, but most kept their mouths shut. They didn’t want to rain on anyone’s parade. And, after all, what could a little drinking and dancing hurt?  Few people want to be labeled fuddy-duddy and closed-minded.

And so the beautiful day arrived.  The wedding took place in a little church and the ceremony was centered on the Bible’s words regarding love and marriage. Afterwards, the group moved to the reception hall, where the typical drinking, dancing, and partying took place. This led to the inevitable tipsiness and garish jokes while they all danced unreservedly to the ungodly music playing in the background.

As this all went on, one family member – an unbeliever – sat there, stunned.  How was this any different than how he would act?  What difference did Christ even make? His family had been trying to reach him with the message of the gospel for years. But all of their hard work was ruined in the course of a few, short, worldly hours, where they showed themselves to be just like him.

Before he left that day, he shared his disillusionment and disappointment with a family member.  He was disgusted and no longer gave any seriousness to the gospel message.  If this is what Christianity was, it wasn’t any different than what he had.  He loved people.  He gave money to good causes. He was kind to others. And he liked to party.  The only difference he saw Christianity making in the life of his family was to waste a few hours each week in church.  No, thank you.  And, with that, he left.

Did he ever change his mind about Christianity?  I have no idea.  But there is no question that great damage was done that day to the witness of that family for the cause of Christ.

How many other times has this happened?  Where unsaved family members sit there and wonder what in the world is the difference?  I think we would be very wise to consider the serious spiritual ramifications of including the world’s partying traditions before making them a part of our very special celebrations.

 

I Corinthians 10:31 Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.

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